Transcript

Bert Kreischer (0:00)

An all new season of the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney.

Nikki Glaser (0:05)

Mom talk has just been blowing up. Whitney and Jen are on Dancing with the Stars. Taylor is a bachelorette. Saying that out loud is crazy. Like that is huge. But all the cool opportunities could pull us apart. It's causing issues in everyone's marriage. My whole world is falling apart right now. It's chaos.

Bert Kreischer (0:22)

Watch the Hulu original series the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (0:28)

Terms apply.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (0:30)

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast Smart move. Being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move. Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle. Home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (1:01)

Ever feel like your brain just won't click? Onnit Alpha Brain is a daily supplement engineered to support memory, focus and mental speed. Made with science backed ingredients, Onnit Alpha Brain helps you lock in, tune out distractions and stay sharp. See what your brain can really do. Visit onnit.com and shop Alpha Brain to

Bert Kreischer (1:21)

unlock your next level.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (1:22)

That's o n n I-t.com

Bert Kreischer (1:27)

I don't know much about medals, but I think you'll get this celebrity. Is the diamond famous? Is like silver.

Nikki Glaser (1:33)

What would you consider Kim Kardashian diamond phase?

Bert Kreischer (1:36)

But for a long time she was cubic sarconia where it was like, it was like, not make it to you fake it. But like she was creating her own diamond.

Nikki Glaser (1:44)

That's what a lot of people.

Bert Kreischer (1:45)

That's actually a brilliant analogy.

Summary

Podcast Summary: Not This Again with Bobbi Althoff

Episode: Bert Kreischer "You got botox at the dentist?"

Release Date: March 17, 2026
Host: Bobbi Althoff
Guest: Bert Kreischer
Producer: Studio71

Overview

In this lively and honest episode, Bobbi Althoff sits down with comedian Bert Kreischer for a candid, meandering conversation filled with humor, vulnerability, awkwardness, and plenty of personal anecdotes. The two dive into topics ranging from celebrity culture and family life, to oversharing in comedy, parenting, relationships, body image, TikTok influencers, and even their feet (literally). The tone is casual, conversational, and often self-deprecating, making for an engaging listen that swings between the irreverent and the heartfelt.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Celebrity Status and Analogies

[01:27 – 05:00]

Bert riffs on classifying celebrities as different "metals" and gems to describe fame (e.g., Kim Kardashian as "diamond," Kanye now a "ruby"), with analogies about public image and value.
The duo debates if commercial endorsements diminish legendary status, specifically referencing Tom Brady’s Pizza Hut ads.
Bert explains the concept of "viral couples" in Hollywood and orchestrated paparazzi moments to boost publicity for shows.

Memorable Quote:
- Bert: “Tom Brady is a diamond. No matter how many Pizza Hut commercials he does...” [06:06]

Public Image and Relationships

[05:00 – 07:57]

They discuss orchestrated relationships for the press, and whether the negative press is worth it.
Bert notes he’s built much of his career talking about his family, especially his wife:
- “I’ve painted myself in a corner with my wife. If I cheated on her, I would ruin my career.” [05:52]
Discussion transitions into trust and fidelity, with both admitting to past mistakes but expressing commitment to their families.

Long-Term Relationships, Parenting, and Change

[07:00 – 13:00]

Bert and Bobbi share the challenges and joys of long-term relationships and raising children.
- Bert opens up about a recent health scare (blood clots) and a moving realization about his wife:
  - “...this is gonna be the woman in the room with me when I’m dying. I thought I got the right one.” [07:54]
Bert shares a “cheat code” for being a good husband—setting up automated flower deliveries for special dates and spontaneous moments [08:20].
They talk openly about sex in long-term relationships, how priorities shift, and navigating intimacy after kids and as their children grow up.

Life As Parents: Empty Nesting and Kid Energy

[13:13 – 17:43]

Bert waxes nostalgic about being a “girl dad,” describing lively mornings serving breakfast to his daughters and their friends [14:40].
Both reflect on the difference between raising girls vs. boys, sharing anecdotes on both and the specific “boy energy” that comes with sons (referencing Tom Segura's sons and comparisons to goth/teenage boys) [16:09].
Nikki Glaser joins in, expressing thanks she’s a “girl mom” and poking fun at the trials of parenting boys.

Being Known, Oversharing, and Privacy

[21:34 – 28:18]

Bert discusses how his comedy has shifted from just stand-up to content that circulates widely online, sometimes turning personal stories about his daughters viral (e.g., the famous “period party” story from his act) [24:00].
They contrast their approaches: Bert is an open book, while Bobbi is more private about her kids.
- “I don’t share anything with my kids, like any...there’s not.” – Bobbi [27:11]
Discussion about the double-edged sword of sharing family stories with the world—leads to funny moments but also affects their children’s privacy and relationship to their parents’ fame.

Insecurity, Stand-Up, and the Comedy World

[28:18 – 32:30]

Bobbi expresses her fears and insecurities around stand-up, despite being asked to try it for a Netflix live event.
Bert reassures her: “My first time on stage is probably the funniest I’ve ever been.” [31:23]
They talk about the shifting culture in comedy—it's now more accepting for newcomers and non-traditional comics to take the stage.

Botox, Body Image & Feet Wars

[33:13 – 37:47]

Hilarious and honest exchange about cosmetic procedures: Bobbi recounts a disastrous Botox experience at her dentist for jaw pain, resulting in a frozen smile [34:17].
This morphs into a surprisingly involved debate and real-time competition over who has better-rated feet online (WikiFeet scores), culminating in a mock “hot feet” vote on Instagram Stories:
- “I'm going to be very clear right now. Yeah, I have a little bit of a foot fetish. It started in seventh grade.” – Bert [36:14]
- Bobbi: “I have a 10 out of 10 on feet finder. What do you have? I bet you’re not even on it.” [35:18]

Dream Projects, Networking, and the Business

[41:31 – 45:01]

Bert introduces the “White Whale” metaphor (from Moby Dick) and asks about Bobbi’s ultimate dream.
- Bobbi’s “white whale” is landing an acting role in a major, dry comedy like a modern-day The Office or an Aubrey Plaza-style role [42:28].
- The two strategize networking, development, and overcoming the inner critic to push toward bigger creative dreams.
Bert offers to introduce Bobbi to a TV producer friend at his upcoming premiere and promises she won’t feel out of place.

Navigating Social Situations & Anxiety

[45:01 – 47:13]

Both admit social anxiety at industry events, and Bert shares his system for wearing name tags to make introductions easier.
Bert: “Everyone knows I am the best introducer of people at a party.” [45:36]

Memorable Quotes & Moments

On family and love:

“It’s hard to quantify how I feel about my wife in words to the public because it’s just going to sound like bullshit...I make fun of her on all my specials because I think that should be how you see how much I love her.” – Bert [07:20]

On confidence and comedy:

“You know how men are, like, delusionally confident. I’m, like, the opposite of whatever that is, which is, like, I have no confidence in what I do.” – Bobbi [30:52]

On public perception and privacy:

“You just experienced what it was, and I miss that so much.” – Bert, after Bobbi takes a call from her daughter during the show [19:41]

On the "period party" story going viral:

“Then little girls started sharing that they saw that, that their dad showed them that. And now they’re not freaked out about their period. They’re excited for it...and then Isla named her period Jason because she got it on Friday the 13th.” – Bert [24:02]

Notable/Laugh-Out-Loud Moments

Bobbi’s deadpan “I have a 10 out of 10 on feet finder. What do you have?” [35:18]
Bert proclaiming: “I have beautiful feet.” [36:02] and “I have a little bit of a foot fetish...” [36:14]
The playful polling of whose feet would win a "smash or pass" online, both deeply invested in the outcome.

Important Timestamps

Celebrity Gems & Tom Brady Ad Debate: 01:27 – 05:00
Viral Relationships & Publicity: 05:00 – 07:57
Bert's "Cheat Code" Marriage Hack: 08:20 – 09:18
Parenting, Empty Nesting & Sentimentality: 14:40 – 17:43
Oversharing vs. Privacy in Comedy: 21:34 – 24:24
The Iconic “Period Party” Story: 24:00 – 25:47
Bobbi’s Stand-Up Ambivalence: 28:18 – 32:30
Botox, Dentists, and the Smiling Fiasco: 33:13 – 34:46
Foot Wars on WikiFeet: 35:18 – 37:47
The 'White Whale' Discussion: 41:31 – 42:28
Party Anxiety & Networking Tips: 45:01 – 46:10

Episode Takeaways

Authenticity and vulnerability shine: Bert and Bobbi’s openness about their lives, families, and insecurities makes for an episode that balances comedy with heart.
Parenthood and partnership are messy and funny: Both wrestle with the changes that raising kids and growing older brings, and laugh through the ways they adapt.
Comedy is evolving: The pair explore the shifting norms in the industry, from gatekeeping to greater accessibility and self-produced projects.
Humor in the mundane: From feet ratings to botched Botox, the ability to poke fun at themselves is palpable and infectious.
The search for more: Whether it’s acting ambitions or perfecting the art of being a good spouse or parent, both are still aiming for new “white whales.”

Closing Note

This episode is a quintessential Bert Kreischer appearance: funny, off-the-cuff, a little rambly, but brimming with real life confessions and the occasional awkward silence. Bobbi matches his energy and candor, bringing her own insecurities and ambitions to the table. Expect laughter, a few “did they just say that?” moments, and some surprisingly touching insights about family, fame, and feet.

wavePod

Bert Kreischer "You got botox at the dentist?" | the really good podcast