
The Relic Radio Show begins with King Of The Island, the July 30, 1953, episode of John Steele, Adventurer. (26:35) We close with The Hallmark Playhouse, and Benjamin Franklin, their episode from May 17, 1951. https://traffic.libsyn.com/forcedn/e55e1c7a-e213-4a20-8701-21862bdf1f8a/RelicRadio943.mp3 Download RelicRadio943 | Subscribe | Spotify | Support The Relic Radio Show If you’d like to support Relic Radio, please consider a donation at Donate.RelicRadio.com. [...]
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Host
This is the relic radio show. Old time radio entertainment. Still standing the test of time from relicradio.com welcome back to the relic radio show. This week's hour of radio drama begins with John Steele, adventurer. We'll hear the king of the island from July 30, 1950. After that, it's the hallmark playhouse and Benjamin Franklin. That story aired May 17, 1951.
John Steele
This is the story of a man who never belonged anywhere. Whose backyard is the world. Whose ways of life are the dreams of escape. For those who want action but never find it. The man, John Steele, adventurer. Big world. Lot of people. Like the man says, takes all kinds. So I wasn't especially surprised when a mutual friend told me Joe, Big Joe was fresh in from Europe with a pile of dough and ideas just as big Joe King. Joe was in town looking for me. I never particularly cotton to Joe, but the mutual friend gave me the hotel and told me to call.
Joe King
Drink, smoke, name it. Take what you want.
John Steele
Take a seat. Open house, huh, Joe?
Joe King
King. King.
John Steele
Still with that, huh?
Joe King
King? Yeah, sure, my name. Is that my name. King.
John Steele
It's also Joe.
Joe King
Sit. Hooch. Yeah. Coronas. Smoke. Fill your pockets. Drink, smoke. Be happy. Happy, kid. Now sit. Anything you want? Sure. Hungry?
John Steele
Steak.
Joe King
Want me to send out for sirloin?
John Steele
Rolling out the rug, huh?
Joe King
For you, you, anytime. Sure, sure, Sid.
John Steele
All I can say ought to happen more often.
Joe King
Sure.
John Steele
Only what's all this gonna. What are you after? What's the angle?
Joe King
Oh, now that nice. That what you think of me?
John Steele
Am I hurting your feelings? Well, 12 year old scotch, high on the rocks, dollar cigars. It's not like you, Joe.
Joe King
King. King. No, no, John.
John Steele
Not hurting my feelings after all.
Joe King
Say, when I ever step on your toes. I did. I did, huh?
John Steele
Me and the whole company. Company? The whole regiment.
Joe King
Okay, okay. So I chipped. So I was a little bit of a crook. So I helped myself to cigarettes. Like cigarettes. Lots of things when I was supply clerk. Other times, other places. Maybe I didn't know any better. Drink up. Bygones. Still got a whole bygones against me. Steel good. Still going to scotch.
John Steele
Smells real good. Just want you to know, Joe.
Joe King
You're gonna keep calling me.
John Steele
Take more than this to change my mind about you and some of the things you did.
Joe King
That's plain, it's good drink.
John Steele
But bad manners. Me, I mean, shouldn't take a man's whiskey and call him a crook. You want me to go now?
Joe King
I have another. No, I like a guy who comes right out plain and says it to You. Yeah. What I remembered about you, I like that right out plain.
John Steele
You do?
Joe King
I like a guy looks you in the eye and whammo.
John Steele
Tells you.
Joe King
Sure, King, you're a crook. Only now I'm changed, huh?
John Steele
Changed, huh?
Host
Huh?
Joe King
No more. No more. Not me. Straight, square, clean. Sunday school. I'm strict in Sunday school. Open books. Good to hear. Straight, square. Me. You hear from them from here on in.
John Steele
What do you want with me?
Joe King
About an island? Want you to come take a look. Now, wait. You gotta believe. No crooked schemes. And I bought an island for me to retire. Yeah, Just for me. I got all the money I need, and I want you to come take a look.
John Steele
I went. I don't know why. I still didn't trust King. It's hard to trust the guy when you remember him taking everything that wasn't screwed down tight. Taking from his buddies. But there was something in his face. A new kind of look. A proud look that took away his old, narrow kind of hungry pinch. It made me curious. It made me think, who was I to set myself up as a judge? Sure, people changed. It made me want to go look.
Joe King
Hey. Hey, Kramer. Where's that old guy with a boat?
John Steele
Your boat?
Joe King
No, no, I'm having one. Bill Kramer. The old guy with a putt. Putt? Furry stuff around for orchard climbers in.
John Steele
And out of these inland channels.
Joe King
Supplies.
John Steele
That your island out there?
Joe King
Now, wait. You can't see nothing from here, Kramer.
John Steele
How far is she out?
Joe King
Four miles, I think. Come on, Kramer. We ain't going to get along doing things like this around here. I like to move.
John Steele
Four miles out, huh?
Joe King
Four and 44. I know what you're thinking, and I'm telling you to forget it.
John Steele
I was only. Forget it.
Joe King
No drugs, no gun, and no immigrant running. I know all the offshore border rackets. I'm not interested. Okay.
John Steele
You say, sure, I'm straight.
Joe King
I got mine. I got what I wanted. Now I got the island. So stop thinking crooked stuff.
John Steele
I helped him load. Him and Kramer load the battered old motor scout supplies. Every conceivable kind, size, shape and description of supplies. Supplies for building, provisions for living. And I couldn't help noticing a lot of the supplies were all GI war surplus. And a lot of the rest came from Europe with foreign labels I couldn't make out. So I studied something I could read. King's face. A narrow, pinched look. A look I remembered from his thieving days. It was coming over him again, pulling in his cheeks tight so the bones stood out sharp and his eyes glittered bright Bright and green like the restless ocean waves.
Joe King
Okay. Okay, guys. Here. Yeah, here. There. Get the whole beach. Drop the cases. Okay, Kramer, you stay in here. Violin, isn't it? Chiller. Chula. Call us. Yeah, mine. Wait. Where he acts, huh? Just keep the fresh milk and meat and butter coming. Like I want a Kramer. Leave your questions to yourself. Got me where he wants me. Just cause I still haven't got my boat. Thinks I need him, you hear? You hear? Keep it coming. Chew up. Chill out with him, you old jerk.
John Steele
Don't call him that, huh? He's an old man.
Joe King
Well, him and those farmers. His farmer friend there is all along.
John Steele
The Shore fruit and vegetable farm. Yeah.
Joe King
Yeah, I saw him the first minute they saw me. Come down to the shore, to the village. Their village? The mainland. Over there. What about them? Well, the way they look at me. What's the matter? I'm dirt. I got marks on me. I pollute this place. What's the matter? My money no good. I paid cash. I paid the ten grand deposit down in cash back in the city. I got the right.
John Steele
Just a deposit.
Joe King
Deposit? Yeah. I got 30 days.
John Steele
But you owned the place.
Joe King
I got a month to make up my mind. Put in the balance. Oh, how do I know I'm gonna like it? 50 acres. Bushes, trees, A big old stone hut right up there in the hill.
John Steele
Looks like a fine old house to me.
Joe King
Oh, like a jail.
John Steele
Built them to last in those days.
Joe King
I don't know.
John Steele
Huh?
Joe King
How many acres, I say.
John Steele
You said 50.
Joe King
Had a lot. I ain't no farm boy. Not too big, Sid. Nobody was on here. Deserved. That's what the broker said. Deserved. For years I never been alone in a place like this before.
John Steele
That's the idea here, isn't it?
Joe King
Well, of course, I do all right. Did all right my own deals, but always did all right making my own deal. Cities. But you know, in the big cities. Cities. You know, big cities. Learn how to operate one. You kept buying them all, only. Only never. Not like here.
John Steele
Well. Well, we're just gonna stand here on the beach?
Joe King
No. No, I. I guess no. Get dark, won't it?
John Steele
Are you afraid?
Joe King
What? Well, I don't know. These things. Why I wanted you along.
John Steele
Why'd you decide you wanted an island?
Joe King
Still, you show me, huh? You show me things. These things. You know what to do. Well, let's start with the supplies. Get them up to that house.
John Steele
Pretty soon we need something to eat.
Joe King
Sure.
John Steele
That's it.
Joe King
See why I wanted you along, John? Why? Why? I wanted.
John Steele
The beginning of danger and A piece of the unknown. There's much of these when in a moment we hear more in the story of John Steele, adventurer. Why do you want the island king, the city guy who even in the army was a crook? Why was he afraid? I knew he was afraid the way he kept behind me when we started carrying the first load of supplies up from the sandy beach. Always behind me, letting me lead the way through the thick green undergrowth told me he was afraid. He was afraid, but I knew he was no coward. A couple of times when things had gone bad in the war and the supply men, the cooks, the clerks, the bakers had been handed guns and rushed in, he'd done all right. He'd held his square yard. He'd been a petty thief. But he hadn't been afraid. He was afraid now. What's the matter? Matter not worry.
Joe King
Stop.
John Steele
What's your want to take the lead? Breaking a path for once.
Joe King
Gee, go ahead.
John Steele
He is still playing little angles, letting.
Joe King
Me take the scratches.
John Steele
Vic, your island. You take the lead.
Bill Kramer
Bug.
Joe King
Get. Get out of here.
James Hilton
Big bug in the world.
Joe King
All around. Look at them. Crawling, jumping, flying. Thicker thieves.
John Steele
Well, what's funny? So that's what's been bothering you.
Joe King
Why look at. Get right here. My arms. Bike. Crawl all over. Get out. Sorry. It's steel. Out of these bushes. Start up the house.
John Steele
Not gonna get out these bushes so easy, huh? Place has been let go too long. It's going wild.
Joe King
No, not around the house. Saw the picture in the book. Real estate book. Gardens, landscape like the monkey. Mucks like a duke.
John Steele
Okay, take a look.
Joe King
But down on the beach. When. When you look up here from the.
John Steele
Water, you only saw the top of the house. Take a look. I said bushes.
Joe King
Like we've been going through bushes. Get. Get out. Get away from me.
John Steele
It's only a bee. It's a honeybee place.
Joe King
It's lousy with bees. What about the house? Where's the house? What do you mean? Take a look.
John Steele
Stick out your arm.
Joe King
Huh?
John Steele
Right through these.
Joe King
Oh, yes, yes. Huh? Cold hard stone. Can't be. Bushes. Bushes right up to the house. Where's the door? Go ahead, Lee. Steal along the side. Come on, will you? The bees all around my head.
Bill Kramer
Leave.
Joe King
Will you get me out of here, please?
John Steele
Find that door behind me. Slipping and sliding, almost dropping his supply crate, sliding forwards into me, almost making me drop mine. Kept on pulling, pushing, tearing. Twigs, leaves, branches, thorns and brambles ripping into my arms, my neck, my cheeks. I kept on going, my right shoulder up against the stone wall. And from all around from overhead, I heard the angry sound of bees.
Joe King
Come on, come on. Ain't gonna sing me, they gonna chase me. I ain't afraid. I'll pick my place, my island. Find the door forever. It takes off victim. So wait. First find that door. Hold.
John Steele
Come on.
Joe King
Hold up, hold up.
John Steele
Come on in through here.
Joe King
Get the bees out of here. Come on.
Bill Kramer
Quick steps.
John Steele
I found the step. I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Come on. At the front of the house here.
Joe King
There's your door. Steps here.
Bill Kramer
All come on.
Joe King
This green stuff.
John Steele
Moss. Back to heck watches and slip rats. Moss.
Joe King
I'm all right. Yeah. Door for me. That's what I want. Get in that door.
John Steele
Come on.
Host
Come on.
Bill Kramer
Here.
John Steele
Across the veranda.
Joe King
The bees.
John Steele
Watch where you're going. There's a hole. Hole in the stone floor here.
Joe King
Bees gone, huh?
John Steele
Got the key.
Joe King
Put the kitchen down here.
John Steele
Gone.
Joe King
I'll fix all those parts.
John Steele
I got it here.
Joe King
Huh.
John Steele
It's big.
Joe King
It's a big key. Yeah. My place.
John Steele
Uh huh.
Joe King
Mine. I put down the dough. Bugs, bees, all them birds. I'll fix them. Ain't gonna stay here. Sure ain't no outdoors man. What's the idea? They got no right being around here.
John Steele
King of the hill, huh?
Joe King
What's mine's mine. I'll fix them. They got no right to be here. The door locks open, but the door's fixed. I think I'm dumb. I got it. I got the stuff. I've got the real stuff. Sure stuck.
John Steele
Come on, give me a hand with the door.
Joe King
Not sure. Why'd you say? Well, dark. Dark, sure.
John Steele
All the windows boarded up.
Joe King
Well, your house. Yeah, sure. Only you.
John Steele
Right behind you. You're going in.
Joe King
Look out on the ceiling.
Bill Kramer
On the walls.
Joe King
Crawling. Let me out of here.
John Steele
Fighters.
Joe King
House fighters. Let me out.
John Steele
They won't hurt your king. Come back here. You saw the spiders, the big furry house spiders that had taken over the old stone island mansion. He saw them crawling the walls and he ran. I ran after him, but he disappeared. Disappeared into the crazy wild overgrowth that covered the heart of the island. Right down to the sandy beach. I slowed up. He had no boat. The island wasn't big and I had enough cuts and scratches. I tried to find the path I'd broken on the way in. I found it and started down, slow down toward the beach. I took my time ducking branches and bush, twigs. Then my nose began to tickle.
Bill Kramer
Smell.
John Steele
It made me sneeze. Then my eyes began to water. I was caught with some kind of mist. A green oily mist. Coming at me through the bushes, settling down over the trees. And all of a sudden it got hard to breathe.
Joe King
Come at me, huh? I'll show you. I'll show you where you. I'll show you how. Fix it mine, you hear? This place is mine. But it's gonna be. I'll fix you.
John Steele
I heard him, but I couldn't see him. The oily green mist was coming thicker. The air was shiny and greasy green. My eyes were burning. My tongue tasted like I was sucking iron and I couldn't breathe. I put my handkerchief over my face and dove through the bushes. Caught the hissing sound. But the sound of him.
Joe King
Crazy.
John Steele
What's the idea of it?
Joe King
Soldier, Turn off. Turn that off, soldier. Fix them.
John Steele
Turn that sprayer off or up.
Joe King
Hey, listen. You're gonna turn it off. Don't just tell me. Break your head. You go knocking me around. Knock him around. My thing. Come on, turn it off. Only next time, don't come in your hands at me, you jerk. But you call me a dumb jerk. What do you know about these things? Get right off this island, buster.
John Steele
Call your guy.
Joe King
Sure.
John Steele
Call him out with a boat. I'll get.
Joe King
Okay, I'll bang the bell.
John Steele
My eyes are so bad I can't see 10ft.
Joe King
Go ahead, smart guy.
James Hilton
This time you leave.
John Steele
Call that man. You pay. I'll be glad to get off your stinking island. Suspense and action. One leads to the other. And the result we'll hear in a moment with the climax of another adventure with John Steele. This time, Joe did lead the way. But not before he picked up his portable sprayer. He was like the type of man who needs a gun With a sprayer in his hands. He wasn't afraid. We went down to the little old wharf and he started clanging the bell. I kneeled down and splashed my face with seawater. The salt and water made my face and hands burn but it cut and dissolved the oily chemical off my skin and out of my eyes. I shook the water out of my eyes and I started to get up. And I saw them inches from my face in the water flat on their backs, floating by.
Joe King
Say, steel, if anybody's got a right to blow a stack once in a while. I'm. I'm sorry about the bug spray. Uhhuh. I didn't know you were in there so close. Getting hit by the spray. Sure, sure. Then forget it. How about about me telling you to go to get off? Anyway, I've been ringing the bell and I don't see no sign of old man Kramer. Coming. Look for yourself. No bull coming across. Ross. Say, think you're sick of something? Look up.
John Steele
You look.
Joe King
You're nuts. Me look at the water.
John Steele
Where'd you get that spray?
Joe King
Just bug spray.
Bill Kramer
Where?
Joe King
Hey, my business. Where? Is there something the matter? I don't see nothing of the. Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It worked. That's what you mean. Yeah, I see them bugs. Dead bugs.
John Steele
Cloakless.
Joe King
We're good.
John Steele
Why, you. I oughta. Bugs, huh?
Joe King
Hey, you're starting up again. Just bugs. Listen, you're just gonna get me sore again. Let go my shirt, buster.
John Steele
I'll let you go, but maybe Uncle Sam won't.
Joe King
Right. Those are bees.
John Steele
Bees?
Joe King
You kill bees? Sure. Stinger bees.
John Steele
Honeybees.
Joe King
They ain't gonna sting no more. No more? Sure. Ain't that right?
John Steele
You don't know, do you?
Joe King
Now what? Say what you mean about Uncle Sam.
John Steele
Where'd you get that spray?
Joe King
You mean duty? Customers duty. Bringing it in. I got a lot of stuff in.
John Steele
You did, huh?
Joe King
Sure. My business. Say, my island. Can I kill a few bugs, make it livable if I want? What do you mean about Uncle Sam? Come on. I don't want no trouble. I'm just a guy. Just a little guy.
John Steele
Sure.
Joe King
I just want to say, settle down.
John Steele
No harm.
Joe King
So I see some German and other stuff in past. Custom stuff like that jeep. No harm in that.
John Steele
No.
Joe King
Hey. Hey, who those boats? Look at all them boats. Look at them boats coming.
John Steele
Yeah.
Joe King
Hey, what's the matter? I didn't call on them boats.
John Steele
No harm, huh? Tell them.
Joe King
Hey. Hey, you guys. I come all about. Look at them. Dozens of boats. I'm the right for old man Kramer. Old man Kramer's the only one supposed to come to ring the bell.
John Steele
Hey.
Joe King
Hey, are you all right? I can't hear you. Motors. What are they doing? Why they shut up their motors?
John Steele
Hey. Hey.
Joe King
Hear me?
John Steele
Thanks.
Joe King
Thanks. That's real service. But we're all right. What's the matter? What's the matter? They guess they're. Why, they look all over in the water. Even bended. Look into the water all the way over there.
John Steele
There.
Joe King
Huh? What they looking for?
Bill Kramer
You don't get it, huh?
Joe King
Like you. Like you were looking. Now, why they all of a sudden looking up at us? They like this. Pulling them out there. Just looking. Sitting in the boats. Hey, a gun. One of them.
John Steele
Damon, get down.
Joe King
Flat. Duck, I think. Shoot. I saw. What was old man Kramer shooting at it.
John Steele
They won't shoot again.
Joe King
No. No, huh?
John Steele
No.
Joe King
How do you know? They're crazy. Why they shoot Anyway, what do we do? Why are they sitting out there floating around looking at us like that?
John Steele
Just keep quiet.
Joe King
I didn't know. I didn't know there was people like that. I didn't ever come.
John Steele
They're just farmers.
Joe King
Farmers? Farmers go out shooting innocent people.
John Steele
Innocent, huh? Huh? Good hard working food farmers.
Joe King
Now what are they all doing? Kramer. What? You waving to them? Oh, sorry. That's good. They all like this. I changed my mind. I'm gonna get off here. You hear?
John Steele
I have trouble doing that.
Joe King
Well, no. I ain't telling them. I ain't telling nobody.
John Steele
Okay, suit yourself.
Joe King
See you.
John Steele
I know.
Joe King
Just sit down.
John Steele
Squat. You've been telling me that all day.
Joe King
But you won't do what I tell you all day. 10 days. We ain't up the last of the fool. I know.
John Steele
I know. Yesterday. Get a string. Catch some fish.
Joe King
Fish. Only fish. I see it. Dead like the bees. You gotta stop with that again. You win. Okay.
John Steele
Keep your mouth shut.
Joe King
Why are you taking off your clothes?
John Steele
I don't think they're gonna come.
Joe King
You're gonna. Yeah.
John Steele
Yeah. I'm gonna swim. So don't plan to lie around here and start.
Joe King
They got no right. They got no right marooning me.
John Steele
They've got other kinds of right. Yeah. Huh? Two kinds.
Joe King
Lord.
John Steele
You got pretty far making fun of laws. Get out of this one.
Joe King
Okay, okay. So there's a law regulating insecticide. Laws and rules.
John Steele
Yeah, yeah.
Joe King
You told me.
John Steele
You're willing to tell.
Joe King
I don' A couple of cans of bug spray.
John Steele
They do want to kill bees.
Joe King
Okay, okay. So I was a jerk. I didn't know. Bugs. Bees. I didn't know. I didn't know. You need bees to grow fruit. You really got to swim. Swim. And maybe turn me in all you understand?
John Steele
Huh?
Joe King
I tell you, I can't. I can't tell them I told you. It ain't the cans of bug sprays. It's the other stuff. What other stuff? The other stuff I swindled in. I know them. I know them inspectors. Once I tell them how and where I got the bug spray, they want to know the whole thing.
John Steele
What whole thing?
Joe King
No. Okay. How do I know? The world turn me in. Serious. From the war. They give me a 10% reward for you don't leave me. What? Right. It's crazy. The whole thing. Crazy. Cranky. What do I care about a bug spray? I remember taking it. You think I smuggle bug spray in. Only.
John Steele
Only what?
Joe King
That guy. The guy in Europe. My contact. Guy I worked with. Sure. Smuggler. Smuggler. Like Me, he put it in favor present, you know. Little flavor. New kind, he said. Powerful stuff. A nerve gas thing. He just threw it in when I told him I was going to get an island.
John Steele
An island, huh? He is for more smuggling.
Joe King
No, no, sir. Help me. I got mine. I, I, I was in my head all these years. A place. I wanted. A place. I'm sick of people. I just wanted a place where you could be King. You got to believe me. I got all I need. Rocks. Pure whites. Back in town. I got them in a place where you think I got the money? All this money. I'll give you some. Only don't leave it. Stay with me. I can't tell the government about the spray. They'll learn about the rocks of diamonds. Help them. Stay with me. Steel, don't. No, don't. Quim, don't leave me. Go back. Come back here. So long, King.
John Steele
I left Joe King. But he wasn't alone for long. A government cutter rolled in and picked him up for questioning by agricultural experts summoned by those local farmers. Yes, there is a law or law regulating insecticides that kill necessary insects. It's a good set of laws. It comes from a lot older law. The natural law about the mutual dependence of species. Yes, it takes bees to make honey, but it also takes bees to make fruit, legumes and even pretty ornamental plants. And when you kill a bee, like an old farmer friend of mine once put it, you kill me. You're taking a standby for Adventure with John Steele. In a moment, John Steele returns with more of his story. Starred as John Steele on this transcribed adventure was Don Douglas with Phil Sterling, script was by Peter Irving. And the entire production was under the direction of Robert Monroe. Of course, all names and characters heard are fictitious and any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. But here again is John Steele. Well, friends, that's it. King of the Island. The story of a man who took what he wanted and laughed at law and thought that set him apart from everybody else. Speaking of islands, reminds me of a fishing trip I once took off the south shore of Long island, the fast growing second home for New Yorkers. The boat we fished from was called Lady. A trim, sleek craft that knew only trouble. It's a real adventure I like to call A Date with the Lady. So until next week then. And a Date with a Lady. This is John Steele saying adventure is like the fizz in your soda. It tickles your nose, but you won't do without it.
James Hilton
Remember a Hallmark card when you care enough to send the very best. Tonight from Hollywood, the makers of Hallmark greeting cards bring you Lionel Barrymore in Carl Van Doren's Benjamin Franklin on the Hallmark Playhouse. Each week, Hallmark brings you Hollywood's greatest stars in outstanding stories chosen by one of the world's best known authors, a distinguished novelist, Mr. James Hilton.
Lionel Barrymore
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is James Hilton. Tonight on our Hallmark Playhouse, we tell you the story of Benjamin Franklin, dramatized from a book which won the Pulitzer Prize, Carl Van Doren's fine biography. Perhaps there's no American in history whose interests were so varied and whose character was so intricate as Benjamin Franklin. Franklin's certainly. He was the first American who by his own personal contacts made Europe aware that here was a great nation destined to be greater. Scientist, diplomat, philosopher, patriot and world citizen. Franklin's life is a kaleidoscope of changing scenes and vivid happenings. To take the exacting role of such a fascinating, even fabulous personality, we have none other than Lionel Barrymore, and I think you'll agree that the choice is most fortunate. And now a word about Hallmark cards from Frank Goss before we begin the first act of Benjamin Franklin.
James Hilton
When you're looking for a way to say something to someone you care for, look for a Hallmark card and you will find the right words. Because Hallmark cards are designed to say what you want to say the way you want to say it, and in the good taste you demand of anything that bears your personal signature. That's why Hallmark on the back of a greeting card has come to mean you cared enough to send the very best. Our star, Lionel Barrymore, is appearing tonight by arrangement with Metro Goldwyn Mayer, producers of the Technicolor musical the Great Caruso, starring Mario Lanza and Anne Blythe. And now Hallmark Playhouse presenting Carl Van Doren's Benjamin Franklin, starring Lionel Barrymore.
Lionel Barrymore
He was resting quietly at the moment A short time passed. He had been in great pain, but that had dimmed and was gone and peace had rested a cool, quieting hand on his spirit and his weary body. Around his bed, his daughter and his grandsons watched him anxiously. He smiled once and they smiled back reassuringly, but he didn't see them. He was smiling at memories that crowded his room.
Bill Kramer
I've lived upon this earth 84 years and three months. It's a long time. For 84 years I've been living and thinking and working. Now I'm worn out with it. Clock can't be rewound against running down. Soon it'll be silent altogether strange. At these oldest moments of my life. I should be remembering some of the youngest moments. Yesterday, when I was a boy, I. I walked down the streets of Philadelphia for the first time, munching on one loaf of bread and carrying two others under my arm, dreaming of the future and the mysteries of the universe. Yesterday, I was a young man in love. And loved. And Deborah was beside me. Deborah and I and the world were young together.
Deborah Franklin
Hello. I'm Deborah. Deborah, My father says you're going to board with us. What's your name?
Bill Kramer
I told her that my name was Ben Franklin and that I was an apprentice and that I was going to work in Andrew Bradford's printing shop. And as the days and the months went by, I told her of my hopes and sometimes of my dreams. I loved her then with the love of a boy. And when her mother said that we were too young to think of marriage, I parted from her with the sadness of a boy. I went to England, worked at the printing trade there. And when I returned to Philadelphia, I was a man grown. And I loved her as a man.
Deborah Franklin
I've missed you, Ben. Over and over, I've asked myself, will he return? I was so afraid you never would.
Bill Kramer
I see myself now, sitting at her feet, telling her of my plans. I'd open a printing shop of my own, and I'd write pamphlets and publish them. And someday I'd publish my own newspaper, my own almanac. And I'd explore literature and science. And she'd be beside me. All these things passed through my mind as I waited for her answer.
Deborah Franklin
I shall be honored to be your wife, Ben.
Bill Kramer
I took her to wife September 1, 1730, and found joy and satisfaction and great happiness. 84 years and 3 months. Lived long time, but yesterday I was young. Deborah, what is that husband of yours up to?
Deborah Franklin
What do you mean?
James Hilton
Why, that almanac of his is the talk of Philadelphia.
Deborah Franklin
Oh, you mean poor Richard. I'm afraid I've married a man who's full of nonsense.
Bill Kramer
Nonsense and great sense.
James Hilton
Deborah, listen to what he says within these pages. Fish and visitors smell in three days he does not possess well, it possesses him. The rotten apple spoils his companions. The absent are never without fault, nor.
Bill Kramer
The present without excuse. He that takes a wife takes care.
James Hilton
Early to bed and early to rise. Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. In the affairs of this world, men are saved not by faith, but by the want of it. God helps them that help themselves.
Joe King
Yes.
Bill Kramer
Yesterday I was young, savoring life, tasting it, finding it both palatable and un. Unpalatable. Living moments that would remain among the Most cherished of my memories.
Deborah Franklin
You're very quiet then. You've been staring at that baby for almost an hour. What on earth are you thinking about?
Bill Kramer
I don't know what I answered. I do know that no words could express my thoughts at that moment. I held my son within the circle of my arm. Master Francis Franklin. I teach him, guide him, love him. He take my name on into the years beyond me and see things I'd never see. Be a part of the future we were working for. Have children of his own. Here was the living proof of his mother's and my love given breath made articulate. My son Francis was a year old, two years old, three years old, four. Filling the house with his bright, noisy laughter. And I grew. Four years with him. Writing, working, studying, finding something to occupy me. Everywhere I turned. Life was rich, full, exciting, gratifying. There was no hint of tears then. And I had no time to pause and think that tears must always come. When sorrow entered our lives, it ended with swift, blinding pain.
Deborah Franklin
Please come right away. The baby is ill.
Bill Kramer
I sat by my small son bed, agony and terror moving inside me. He was 4. He walked in my image and likeness. He was my son.
James Hilton
Papa.
Joe King
Papa.
Bill Kramer
His hands burned into mine, but my own were chilling as I gripped him.
Joe King
Papa, it's dark.
Deborah Franklin
It's so dark.
Joe King
Papa.
Bill Kramer
I tried to light the darkness for him. While we waited for the doctor. I had him bring more candles. More candles. More candles.
Joe King
It's getting dark, Papa.
Host
It's getting darker.
Joe King
Papa.
Bill Kramer
I lived for the coming of the doctor and died when he turned from the bed.
James Hilton
Smallpox, Mr. Franklin.
John Steele
Smallpox.
James Hilton
We'll do what we can, of course.
Bill Kramer
My son died on November 21, 1736. And grief entered my house and my heart and left a particular loneliness that would never quite be appeased. Left a particular heart ache that would never, never quite leave me.
Deborah Franklin
Ben, it's almost morning. You must get some rest. You've sat at that window the whole night. Ben.
Bill Kramer
I tried to answer her, but the words caught in my throat. I'd been writing. I handed her what I'd written.
Joe King
Oh.
Deborah Franklin
A false report has been circulated that my child died from being inoculated for smallpox. Inasmuch as some people are, by that report, deterred from having that operation performed on their children, I do hereby sincerely declare that he. That he was not inoculated.
Joe King
Oh, Ben. Ben.
Bill Kramer
Yesterday I was young, studying life, arguing about it, philosophizing, exploring it. In 1746, at Boston, I met a Dr. Spence who showed me some electrical experiments. I bought his Apparatus and. And gave up the entire winter to the study of electricity.
Deborah Franklin
Ben, dinner is almost ready.
Bill Kramer
Could it wait for a while? Deborah, I think we're going to have a storm.
Deborah Franklin
Well, my dear, I guess we'll have to. But why are you waiting for a thunderstorm, my dear?
Bill Kramer
I want to fly a kite.
Deborah Franklin
Fly a kite?
Bill Kramer
Yes. No, no, no. Stop looking at me like that. I may not be as crazy as I sound. I've made a kite of a large silk handkerchief and two cross sticks. I have some wires connected to the end of it. I'm going to see if I can't pull lightning out of the clouds with it.
Deborah Franklin
Do you consider that science a witchcraft, Benjamin?
Bill Kramer
I don't care what it's called, if I can just do it. The excitement of that memory of standing in the rain watching the kite mount to sky, of seeing the electric fire drawn to the wire on the end of it. The string gripped in your hands. And the mysteries of the infinite sparking and cracking at the other end of it. The incredible breath stopping excitement of standing alone on the brink of discovery.
Deborah Franklin
Well then, now that you've proven your theory about electricity, what do you intend to do with it? Is it of any practical use?
Bill Kramer
Is it of any practical use? Deborah, this will be the means of protecting houses and ships from being struck by lightning.
Deborah Franklin
Well, how can it be?
Bill Kramer
I am going to publish the report in the almanac. If people will take an iron rod and drive one end three or four feet into the moist ground and leave the other end six or eight feet above the highest part of the building and secure it to their houses and in the manner I tell them they'll never be struck by lightning.
Deborah Franklin
You know, my dear, you're a most extraordinary man.
Bill Kramer
Of course I am. Why else would you have married me?
Deborah Franklin
Well, I married you because.
Bill Kramer
Because I was smart, brilliant, well read, literate.
Deborah Franklin
Not on your life.
Bill Kramer
Well, then it must have been because I was bright, dashing and witty and charming.
Deborah Franklin
Yes, my dear, because you were bright and witty and charming and completely irresistible. And besides, who would have the courage to decline an offer of marriage from Benjamin Franklin, the most distinguished man of his day?
Bill Kramer
Flattery will get you nowhere, madam. No, not one more farthing.
Deborah Franklin
I'm very proud of you. Seems to me that everyone in the country turns to you for advice. Everyone.
Bill Kramer
Advice is the easiest thing in the world to give.
Deborah Franklin
Good advice is something sometimes the hardest thing in the world to get.
Bill Kramer
And yours is always by all the jolie. You're a canny woman and a lovely woman and a confoundedly smart one. I love you very much, my dear I love you forever yeah. Yesterday I was a young man in love Loved, Deborah was beside me Deborah and I and the world were young.
James Hilton
In just a moment we'll return to the second act of Benjamin Franklin starring Lionel Barrymore. Perhaps no American has demonstrated the power of words as well as Benjamin Franklin in his many letters and public writings. We can almost trace his success to an ability to express ideas and feelings to others. Yes, Benjamin Franklin certainly knew and respected words and their power over the minds and hearts of people. The makers of Hallmark cards know and respect this power also. Though a greeting card is not intended to present history making ideas, the words on it are certainly important because they express the feelings of one person to another. And it's this quality of making the person to person feeling really felt through the use of words that distinguishes Hallmark cards. That's why you can always find a Hallmark card to say what you want to say just the way you want to say it to your friends and loved ones. And it explains why through the years, more and more people have come to prefer Hallmark cards. They have found that you can always look to a card with Hallmark on the back for a warm, friendly person to person greeting on those occasions when you want your friends to know you cared enough to send the very best. Now back to James Hilton and the second act of Benjamin Franklin starring Lionel Barrymore.
Lionel Barrymore
The old man lay staring out the window. The curtains moved softly in the breezes. He watched them and thought of other nights.
Bill Kramer
It seems impossible that I've lived 84 years. That the days and weeks and months of those years have been lived and are gone. And yet I'm tired. When sleep comes, I'll welcome it. It'll be good to sleep knowing that when I wake, Deborah will waken me. Deborah? I think I've memorized every expression of her face. I see her now as she looked the day I told her I must go to England.
Deborah Franklin
Why must it be you?
Bill Kramer
Well, someone must present our case to Parliament. Taxation without representation is unbearable now. You know that. Deborah.
Deborah Franklin
Is there no one else to go? You and I are growing old. Then we have little enough time left.
Bill Kramer
Well, come with me.
Deborah Franklin
How can I? We have a new house, half built. There's a family to take care of. You're of theirs to watch over too. I'm needed here.
Bill Kramer
I'm needed there.
Deborah Franklin
Then you must go. And I will pray to God that he'll watch over you and keep you and bring you back to me.
Bill Kramer
So I sail for England Leaving the wife that I cherished, the country that I loved, to try to explain to parliament the attitudes and thoughts of my countrymen.
James Hilton
Will you tell the parliament for the record your name and place of abode?
Bill Kramer
Franklin? Philadelphia.
James Hilton
Do the Americans pay any considerable taxes among themselves?
Bill Kramer
Oh, certainly. Many and very heavy taxes.
James Hilton
Are you not concerned in the management of the post office in America?
Bill Kramer
Yes. Yes, I am deputy postmaster general of north America.
James Hilton
Are not the colonies, from their circumstances, very able to pay the stamp duty?
Bill Kramer
In my opinion, there is not gold and silver enough in the colonies to pay the stamp duty for one year.
James Hilton
Do you not think the people of America would submit to pay the stamp duty if it was moderated?
Bill Kramer
No, never. Unless compelled by force of arms.
James Hilton
Have you not heard of the resolutions of this house and of the house of Lords asserting the right of parliament relating to America, including a power to tax the people there?
Bill Kramer
Yes. Yes, I've heard of such resolutions.
James Hilton
Then what will be the opinion of the Americans on those resolutions?
Bill Kramer
They will think them unconstitutional and unjust. The right to lay internal taxes was never supposed to be in parliament. As we are not represented there, they'll oppose it to the last.
James Hilton
Tell me, Mr. Franklin, what used to be the pride of the Americans to.
Bill Kramer
Indulge in the fashions and manufacturers of great Britain?
James Hilton
What is now their pride?
Bill Kramer
To wear their old clothes over again till they can make new ones.
James Hilton
Well, you've won the day, Mr. Franklin. Franklin, the Stamp act has been repealed. Mr. Franklin, do you hear what I'm saying?
Bill Kramer
Yes, I hear you.
James Hilton
Is something wrong?
Bill Kramer
I've just received word from home. My wife is dead. The years that followed, I spent largely in the service of my country. I'd won the day, but not the battle. Other taxes were levied. War came, with all its hardships and heartbreak. But when it passed, we were a free people and liberty was ours. Then our problem became what should we do with it? How should we handle it? How could we ensure for those who come after us? Mr. Franklin, it is a great pleasure.
James Hilton
To be a guest in your house again.
Bill Kramer
General Washington. My house is always honored by your presence.
James Hilton
I am happy to know that you are to attend the constitutional convention. Sir. You are, in the opinion of all of your countrymen, the greatest man of your age.
Bill Kramer
You are far too generous, sir Matt. But I realize the affection that prompts your words, general, and I thank you. You will have a great deal to.
James Hilton
Contribute to the convention.
Bill Kramer
No, no, no, no, no. The great contributions will be made by younger men than I. I'm 82 now, General. I can dream of the future, but I can really speak only of the past. My presence at the convention will be only a brief triumph over my years.
James Hilton
I think you are the wisest of us all, and you have all the garnered wisdom of the years behind you.
Bill Kramer
On which to draw. I'm a spectator now, general. This is my leave taking from a life of action. Younger men will have to carry out the plans that are made, and I have great faith in those young men. They know the value of liberty. They fought with a sword to obtain it, and they'll fight now with words to keep it safe forever. The fires of freedom that were kindled at Valley Forge will never be allowed to go out. They'll be fanned brighter and brighter with the passing years until this country will stand proud and indomitable, a citadel of free men, a hope for enslaved men everywhere. 84 years and three months lived. And now the sands are running out, clocks running down. Last friends have been greeted, almost the last word said. Surely it's time now to remember the words that I wrote yesterday when I was very young to be put by for these moments when I was very, very old indeed. Thank heavens for whatever wit and knowledge possessed me at 22 to write my epitaph, the words with which I'd say farewell. At 84, the body of B. Franklin, printer, like the COVID of an old book, its contents torn out and stripped of its lettering and gilding, lies here. Food for worms. But the work shall not be lost, for it will appear once more in a new and more elegant edition, revised and corrected by the author.
James Hilton
Lionel Barrymore and James Hilton will return in a moment. Soon you'll be wanting to send your congratulations and best wishes to the young graduates you know for graduation day is one of those memorable occasions made more memorable by the thoughtfulness of friends and loved ones. It's one of those occasions when a Hallmark card is particularly appropriate, a card that will express your thoughts and your thoughtfulness perfectly, saying just what you want to say the way you want to say it. So just as you look for Hallmark cards on those other occasions when congratulations are in order, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, remember to look for Hallmark graduation cards. You'll find the words of congratulations seem warmer, more personal, more what you'd like to say and remember, in addition to the words inside the card, that familiar Hallmark on the back is recognized everywhere as meaning you cared enough to send the very best. Here again is James Hilton.
Lionel Barrymore
Lionel Barrymore. It's always a great occasion when you visit the Hallmark Playhouse for Besides giving us magnificent entertainment, you're one of our favorite people. It's good to see you again.
Bill Kramer
Well. Well, thank you, Jimmy. Thank you. You mean I wasn't invited to pay Benjamin Frankenson but because I happened to have been born in Philadelphia?
Lionel Barrymore
You were?
Bill Kramer
Yeah.
Lionel Barrymore
I didn't know that.
Bill Kramer
Oh, well, no, I'd say you were.
Lionel Barrymore
Invited because you have the sharp wit and good humor we associate with the name Benjamin Franklin. In addition to your acting ability, of course.
Bill Kramer
There's a diplomatic statement if I ever heard one, but speaking of my birthplace reminds me that I had a birthday a couple of weeks ago. And that's something I don't speak of very often. And I must say, it was a pleasure to receive so many beautiful birthday cards. You'll be interested to know that I noticed that most of them were Hallmark cards. Well, that's good to hear, Lionel.
Lionel Barrymore
And I'm sure I speak for the makers of Hallmark cards and for all of us when I say we hope you'll be enjoying Hallmark cards for many, many more birthdays.
Bill Kramer
Thank you, Jimmy. Thank you. What are you having on the Hallmark Playhouse next week?
Lionel Barrymore
Next week, our story will be George A. Chamberlain's Scudder who Scudder Hay.
Bill Kramer
The story of a boy who, by.
Lionel Barrymore
Learning love and patience with animals, grows up to apply the same lessons in his context with the world and to play the part of the boy. We are happy indeed to welcome Ron McAllister. Our Hallmark Playhouse is every Thursday.
Bill Kramer
Our director producer is Bill Gay.
Lionel Barrymore
And our music tonight, taken from music of the period, was conducted by Bernard Herman. And our script was adapted by Gene Holloway. Until next Thursday, then, this is James Hilton saying good night.
Joe King
Look for Hallmark cards that are sold.
James Hilton
Only in stores that have been carefully selected to give you expert and friendly service. Remember, a Hallmark card when you care enough to send the very best. The role of Deborah tonight was played by Loreen Tuttle. Barbara Jean Wong was the child. Ted Osborne Washington and Ben Wright, the Englishman. This is Frank Goss saying good night to you all until next week at this same time when Hallmark playhouse returns to present Lon McAllister. Enjoy George A. Chamberlain's Skda who Scudder.
John Steele
Hey.
James Hilton
And the week after that, the story of Johnny Appleseed adapted from Dwight Newell hillis's the quest of John chapman starring Lou Ayers on the hallmark playhouse. This is cbs, the Columbia broadcasting system.
Bill Kramer
This is kmbc, Kansas City, Missouri.
Host
That's the relic radio show for this week. There's more from John Steele, the hallmark playhouse, the relic radio show and everything else Relic Radio at the website relicradio.com you can donate through that website as well if you'd like to help support this and all of the shows. My thanks as always to those who have helped out. Thanks for joining me this week. I'll be back with an hour of mystery and case closed tomorrow, next Tuesday with our next episode of the Relic Radio show.
Release Date: April 29, 2025
Host/Producer: RelicRadio.com
Series Description: Relic Radio delves into the treasures of old-time radio, presenting a diverse array of genres including horror, science fiction, comedy, and adventure from radio's golden era.
Overview: The episode kicks off with the thrilling saga of John Steele, an adventurer who embodies the restless spirit of exploration. Listeners are introduced to Steele's character—a man who feels out of place anywhere, finding solace only in the boundless expanse of the world.
Plot Summary:
Encounter with Joe King (00:45 - 03:00):
John Steele receives an unexpected visit from Joe King, a mutual acquaintance recently returned from Europe, bringing with him substantial funds and grandiose ideas. Despite Steele's initial mistrust—stemming from King's past as a "crook" who misappropriated from friends—there's a palpable change in King’s demeanor. Steele reflects, "It was hard to trust the guy when you remember him taking everything that wasn't screwed down tight" (03:00).
Invitation to the Island (03:37 - 08:23):
Joe King extends an invitation to Steele to inspect an island he has purchased for retirement. Despite Steele’s reservations, he's intrigued by the genuineness in King's transformed look: "Bright and green like the restless ocean waves" (06:01). The promise of an isolated sanctuary seems enticing, prompting Steele to join King and his associate, Bill Kramer, in preparing the island.
Suspense Builds (08:23 - 16:09):
As they unload supplies—primarily GI war surplus and mysterious foreign-labeled items—Steel senses underlying tension. King exhibits erratic behavior, particularly concerning the presence of bees and the overgrown mansion. A confrontation ensues when King becomes paranoid about the bees, leading to a heated exchange and the application of a green oily mist, disorienting Steele (14:38). The situation escalates with the arrival of government authorities investigating the harmful insecticide laws, emphasizing the crucial role of bees in the ecosystem: "It takes bees to make honey, but it also takes bees to make fruit" (24:03).
Climax and Resolution (16:04 - 22:07):
The climax reveals Joe King’s desperation to maintain control over the island and his illicit activities involving powerful bug sprays, hinting at his continued propensity for crooks despite his claims of reformation. Steele navigates through the chaos, culminating in King's apprehension by government authorities, underscoring the importance of environmental laws and mutual dependence among species.
Notable Quotes:
Joe King on Transformation:
"No more. No more. Not me. Straight, square, clean." (03:28)
Steele on Trust:
"It made me curious. It made me think, who was I to set myself up as a judge?" (03:59)
Environmental Assertion:
"When you kill a bee, like an old farmer friend of mine once put it, you kill me." (24:03)
Cast and Crew:
Overview: Following the adventure of John Steele, the episode transitions to "The Hallmark Playhouse," presenting a biographical dramatization of Benjamin Franklin's life. This segment is brought to life by the esteemed Lionel Barrymore, capturing Franklin's multifaceted persona as a scientist, diplomat, philosopher, and patriot.
Plot Summary:
Early Life and Love (29:09 - 32:16):
The narrative begins with Franklin reflecting on his 84-year life, reminiscing about his youth in Philadelphia, his aspirations in printing, and his enduring love for Deborah. Key moments include his dreams of publishing and his deep emotional ties:
"I love you very much, my dear. I love you forever." (41:14)
Scientific Pursuits and Personal Tragedy (32:47 - 35:59):
Franklin delves into his scientific experiments, notably his kite experiment in Boston, showcasing his relentless pursuit of knowledge. However, personal happiness is marred by tragedy as Franklin grapples with the loss of his son to smallpox:
"I lived for the coming of the doctor and died when he turned from the bed." (36:15)
Diplomatic Endeavors and the American Revolution (37:14 - 47:05):
Transitioning to his diplomatic role in England, Franklin confronts the British Parliament regarding taxation without representation. His eloquence and steadfastness play pivotal roles in rallying American resistance, ultimately leading to legislative victories such as the repeal of the Stamp Act. The narrative also touches upon Franklin's contributions to the constitutional convention and his enduring legacy:
"The fires of freedom that were kindled at Valley Forge will never be allowed to go out." (48:15)
Reflections and Farewell (47:05 - 54:36):
In his final moments, Franklin reflects on his life’s work and the enduring principles of liberty and justice. His farewell encapsulates the cyclical nature of knowledge and legacy:
"The work shall not be lost, for it will appear once more in a new and more elegant edition, revised and corrected by the author." (50:07)
Notable Quotes:
Franklin on Love and Loss:
"I loved her then with the love of a boy. And when her mother said that we were too young to think of marriage, I parted from her with the sadness of a boy." (30:48)
Franklin on Science and Innovation:
"If people will take an iron rod and drive one end three or four feet into the moist ground and leave the other end six or eight feet above the highest part of the building and secure it to their houses and in the manner I tell them they'll never be struck by lightning." (39:53)
Franklin’s Legacy:
"Younger men will have to carry out the plans that are made, and I have great faith in those young men." (48:44)
Cast and Crew:
Integration of Hallmark Messaging: Throughout "The Hallmark Playhouse" segment, subtle promotions for Hallmark cards are interwoven, emphasizing the brand's commitment to expressing heartfelt sentiments. This includes reflections on the power of words and their ability to convey deep emotions, mirroring Franklin’s own eloquent communication.
Closing Remarks: The episode concludes with a seamless transition back to the host, James Hilton, who underscores the enduring impact of Benjamin Franklin’s principles and the timeless appeal of Hallmark's heartfelt messages. Upcoming stories, including "Scudder Hay" and "Johnny Appleseed," tease listeners with promises of more engaging narratives.
Final Thoughts: This episode of The Relic Radio Show masterfully juxtaposes the adventurous exploits of John Steele with the profound historical biography of Benjamin Franklin, offering listeners a rich tapestry of storytelling. Through meticulous capturing of pivotal moments and emotionally charged dialogues, the show not only entertains but also educates, preserving the essence of old-time radio's golden era.
Notable Highlights:
Environmental Awareness:
The "John Steele, Adventurer" segment emphasizes the importance of environmental laws and species interdependence, resonating with contemporary ecological concerns.
Historical Insight:
"The Hallmark Playhouse" provides an intimate portrayal of Benjamin Franklin, shedding light on his personal struggles, scientific endeavors, and diplomatic triumphs.
Emotional Depth:
Both segments delve deep into their protagonists' emotional landscapes, from Steele's mistrust and curiosity to Franklin's love, loss, and unwavering commitment to liberty.
Quotes with Timestamps:
“It was hard to trust the guy when you remember him taking everything that wasn't screwed down tight” (03:00)
“When you kill a bee, like an old farmer friend of mine once put it, you kill me” (24:03)
“I love you very much, my dear. I love you forever” (41:14)
“The fires of freedom that were kindled at Valley Forge will never be allowed to go out” (48:15)
“Younger men will have to carry out the plans that are made, and I have great faith in those young men” (48:44)
Conclusion: For aficionados of classic radio dramas and historical biopics, this episode of The Relic Radio Show offers a compelling blend of adventure and enlightenment. Whether navigating the treacherous mysteries of an uncharted island or traversing the intricate corridors of 18th-century diplomacy, listeners are treated to a narrative journey that is both exhilarating and intellectually stimulating.
Note: All characters and events depicted in this summary are works of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.