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The Relic Radio Show (old time radio)
The CBS Radio Workshop and Frontier Gentleman
The Relic Radio Show begins with The CBS Radio Workshop this week. We'll its broadcast from March 16, 1956, Cops And Robbers. (29:52) Frontier Gentleman closes the show with The Rainmaker, from October 26, 1958. https://traffic.libsyn.com/forcedn/e55e1c7a-e213-4a20-8701-21862bdf1f8a/RelicRadio922.mp3 Download RelicRadio922 | Subscribe | Spotify | Support The Relic Radio Show If you'd like to support Relic Radio, please consider a donation at [...]
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- [00:11]
Stanley Niss
This is the Relic Radio Show. Old time Radio entertainment still standing the test of time from relicradio.com this is the Relic Radio Show. 60 minutes of radio drama every Tuesday at relicradio.com the first story comes from the CBS Radio Workshop. This week we'll hear Cops and robbers for March 16, 1956. After that it's Frontier, Gentlemen and the Rainmaker. That story aired October 26, 1958. CBS Radio, a division of the Columbia Broadcasting System, and its 217 affiliated stations present the CBS Radio Workshop Radio's distinguished series dedicated to man's imagination, the theater of the mind. Transcribed Cops and Robbers is a game played by children and it's a game actors play on the radio for a living. Tonight the actors, as usual, will be playing make believe robbers. But the cops will be real. The CBS Radio Workshop presents Cops and Robbers. My name is Stanley Ness. I'm a writer, mostly of crime criminals and what police do about them. For a long time I've wondered what real detectives would do when confronted with a fictitious crime. And tonight the CBS Radio Workshop is giving me a chance to find out first so you, the actors and I can start off knowing what the detectives will try to find out. I've written a short dramatic sketch which we've recorded while our detectives, all retired members of the police department city of New York are across the street having coffee. The scene a one room flat on the Upper east side of New York. What? Who is it? It's me, Dunk. Well, come on in. It's open. It's not open. Honest. Goodness. Hiya, baby. My fingernails are wet. Oh, well, where is it? Where's what? The chow mein. You were going to stop at the Chinese restaurant and bring back chow mein. Where you been? Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, I was. I forgot. You forgot? How could you forget what you went out for? Ellie, baby, listen. You gotta stand by me. I'm in a jam. You went out to get chow mein? How could you get in a jam? I did. That's. That's all there is to it. What kind of a jam? I can't tell you right now. Expect me to stand by and you can't tell me? Why don't you get the chow main? Forget about the chow main, will you? Listen, you got the telephone number. That bar and grill where Joe hangs out, that Glennham's. What's Joe got to do with this? Have you got the telephone number? Yeah, I got it. It's in the drawer there. One of their cards. Get it for me, will you, baby? Get it yourself. My fingernails are all wet. What's this all about anyway? I'll tell you. I'll tell you later. Well, where is it anyway? It's there. Look. Then look. Now tear apart. Oh, here it is. Look, I gotta go out in the hall and phone him. Don't. Will you sit down and relax and tell me what this is all about? I don't have to sit down. I can tell you standing up. I shot a guy. You what? I shot a guy. You went out to get a container of chow mein. How could you shoot a guy? I don't know how I could, but I did. So we know what our detectives will try to find out. The crime referred to is of such a serious nature that the precinct detective squad commander was called from his home to supervise the investigation. Our squad commander tonight is Lieutenant Dan Campion, who retired from the police department a little over a year ago After 25 years in the job. The detectives working under him will be Howard C. Clancy, Jerry Heaney and Richard Jacobson. Approximately an hour and 10 minutes after the crime occurs, Detective Jacobson, who is carrying the squeal, which means it is his case, has returned to the station house and is typing up a report on the progress of the investigation so far. Remember, the detectives have no script. They are playing themselves, doing a job just like they've done every day. What's up, Jake? Oh, hello, Lieutenant. We had a tough stick up in the precinct tonight. Oh, another one? Yeah, a liquor store over in 72nd Street. What time did it happen, Jake? Oh, about 9:50. That Fairland Liquor store over in 288 72nd. And a fellow stuck a gun into the clerk who was in front of the store, and the owner was in back doing a little bookkeeping. When he stepped out, he had a pistol. Has he got a permit for it? Oh, yes, he had that. We checked on that. But anyway, he, poor fellow, got shot. Is he seriously hated? Oh, yes. He's alive yet, though? Oh, yes. He's over in Metropolitan Hospital. He fired a shot at the stick up man. Stick up man fired two at him and hit him and he went down. Where was he shot, Dick? Under the chin. It hit him deflected into his jaw just below his lips. Oh. Anything else to it? He got a little more than $800. He grabbed a money in a paper bag and ran out the front door in the street. Anybody see him? Any good identifications? We had pretty fair identification. The fellow had a car. We found it out later. He ran around the corner in 3rd Avenue. He hit some old woman, knocked it down. Anybody see him? There was a sanitation man trying to help the old woman up. But he saw this fellow continue to run. He went around 3rd Avenue and looked him over and he was getting into a car and got away. You got the sanitation man name and all that? Yes, we have that. Good. But on the back of his car he had some of that red tape, that fluorescent tape they're using. Oh, yes, and that was all over the back bumper. And he got the last three numbers of the plate. I sent out alarm for the car over the teletype with those three numbers. And all the boys in the neighboring precincts have been notified. Lieutenant Campion, sergeant client on TSJ rang upstairs and he says doubt over on post 11 thinks he's got that car spotted, that it would want him to stick up shooting. It's over there at Second Avenue, 77th Street. It's a two door Plymouth sedan. It's 3T152. Oh, we got the full license? Yeah, and I verified it and it's registered under a Joseph E. Macondi, 761 East 76th Street. Hey, Nancy, with your check laws properly on that? Okay, see if you can get the description of the car and get the owner's name and address. Yeah, DOD is guarding the car over there. He's not letting anybody go near it. Say, Jake. Okay, you go over with Howie after he makes that call and see if we can get that owner in here and we'll talk to him. Very good, we'll do that. Okay, get right on it. Now we see the detectives are off on the right track. But what about the characters played by our actors? Let's get back to them. The following scene was written, rehearsed and recorded in advance. And of course, Lieutenant Campion and his men are unaware of what is going on in the scene, just as they would be in the job. All right, Joe, I'm coming. Oh, Joe, telling you Dunk, you better friend than me. That was the best fight all season and I gotta miss the finish. I appreciate it, Joe. Hello, Ellie. Hi. Well, what's the big jam you're in? You sure it's not the car? No, it's not the car. It only should be. Where's the keys? Here. Here you are, Joe. Where'd you leave the car? In the same place right where you're always leaving. All right, now, what's this big jam you're in? He went out to get some chow mein to bring back. Let me tell it, will you? Who's stopping You? I went out and I started to the Chinese restaurant, all right. But then I figured it's Friday, it's going to be a long weekend, and I don't have much money in my pocket. So. So I figured I ought to do a little work. Then I ran into you on a corner and I said, joe, can I borrow your car? You said, sure, why not? If you fill it up with gas. So you gave me the keys and that was that. Not yet. That wasn't that. You let me tell it my own way. So I lent you the car? Yeah, that's right. And I drove around scouting for a good place to make. I parked it on 72nd street where I could get away easy. I walked around the corner and there was this liquor store just right for picking. Using my car for the get. It was all perfectly simple. Joe. Wait, wait. There's more to come. What's to come, Dunkin? Well, it was a good touch. And I cleaned out the register and I'm heading for the door, and all of a sudden another clerk comes out from the back with a gun. Uh. Oh. So what could I do? I blast away. He drops and I take out around the corner for the car. To make a long story short, I'm in the car and I'm away. Is the guy dead? He didn't wait around to find out. My car you gotta borrow to go heist the joint and shoot up a guy. That's a fine thing. I'm sure. I'm sure. I got away okay. I don't think anybody made the license number. There were some people looking at me as I came around the corner, but I don't think they made the number on the car. Well, supposing somebody did? That's what I want to talk to you about, Joe. Look, if by any chance somebody did and the cops come talking to you, don't tell them you lent me the car. What do you mean, don't tell them I lent you the car? What am I going to tell them? Well, you know what to say, Joe. You'll think of something. There ain't a chance in a thousand anybody made the car. But I just want to cover every step of ground. Look, look, I'm an innocent bystander. I was in a bar and grill watching a fight. You didn't tell me what you were going to do. Why should I cover for you? Joe, I've known you a long time. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Oh, tell me. Tell me something, Dunk. Huh? What? How much did you get out of the liquor store. Money, you mean? Yeah, money. Over 500. How much over 500? $812. That wasn't bad, was it? Worth shooting a man for. Joe, you gotta help me. I help you plenty. Give me 400. What do you mean, give you 400? You want me to help you, don't you? What? That's half. It ain't half. You got 812. All I'm asking is 400. What? There's not a chance in a thousand there'll be a kick back. All right, then, what are you worried about? Let's forget the whole thing. I'll go home and go to sleep. And if the cops talk to me, all I can tell them is the truth. You got me in a box, Joe. It's your box. Give him the 400 dunk. What, are you taking chances? Well, what are you gonna tell them if they talk to you? I don't know yet. I'll take us something. Yeah, but what? Well, you give me a chance. The deal was just sprung on me. I gotta work it out. All right, Joe, you cover me. Now, don't forget. Yeah, I'll cover you if they talk to you. Thanks, Joe. I knew I could count on you. Boy, this is a load off my mind. What a relief. Now that it's such a relief, please go down and get the Chalmain. Now, with sufficient information on which to act, Lieutenant Campion has instructed his men on their next step in the investigation. Detectives Clancy and Jacobson, for instance, go to 761 East 76th street, the address listed for Joseph P. McCondie and whose name the car is registered. Remember, from now on, there is no script. The actors are on their own. So are the detectives. Let's see what happens. Hey, Mike McCondy. Mike. Is there something I could do for you gentlemen? What's your name, Chief? Joseph P. McCon. We're detectives. Oh. Do you own an automobile? Yes, I do. What kind of a car do you have? I have a 1950 Plymouth, two doors. Do you have a little accident tonight with us? No, sir. Do you have a license? Yes, sir, I have it right here. Can you see it? Sure. Is there something wrong, gentlemen? Well, you just chatted a little. Accident tonight, I'm sure someplace, didn't you? No, sir. You sure of that? Absolutely. You loaned the car to anybody? No, sir. Where is the car now? Well, I left it on Second Avenue between 77th and 78th Street. What did you leave it around there for? Well, I was at a bar all night. I was watching the fights Anybody with you? No, sir. A couple of boys I see every once in a while in there. What's some of their names? Give me one name. Well, there was. I'd give you a couple. It was Bud and Tommy. Uh huh. But you lend Bud and Tommy your card? No, no, no. We would all just like to talk to you. I'll hold on. You don't mind, will you? No, sure. Do you have anything on you before you. No, sir, absolutely not. You sure? Dad, I'm clean. Ever been arrested? No, I've never been arrested. You sure of that? Absolutely. Look, anything that you say, we're going to check. Don't forget that. Right, sir. So you might just as well tell us the truth right now. Yeah, I've never been arrested. You've never been arrested? Oh, I've been down at a house. Okay, let's go. Okay. With Joe McCon in custody, the detectives returned to the station house. They walked them upstairs to the squadroom and into Lieutenant Campion's office. Sonnet, this is McCandy. Fella on that car. Oh, hello, Mr. McCondy. How do you do, sir? Sit down there a minute. Yes, thank you. Can I see you outside a minute, Luke? Yeah. You stay in here with him. How? I'll Be right back, Mr. McCon. We have some other business to take care of. Could I smoke? Enhance it. All right. Yeah, go ahead. But don't throw the butts on the floor. Oh, no, I wouldn't do that. You want any coffee? Yeah, I wouldn't mind a little stand up. Yeah, sure. Everything you have in your pockets, take them out and put it on the desk here. Everything, no matter what it is. Okay. If it's money, count it. All right. In front of me? Yeah. This is embarrassing because they're not too well healed. They only got 5, 10, 11, 12, $13. 13. Okay. Put it back. Okay. Okay. Any other cards or Swiss? I have a wallet here, Howie. Okay. Yeah. Let's look at that, will you? All right. My wallet. There's not a wallet I gotta keep. Who do you live with at this address? Nobody. I see. All right. What do you work at, Mr. McCon? Well, I kind of. Dapple. In sports? Equestrian. What do you mean, dapple? Well, you know, I hang around the racetracks a little bit. You bookmaker? Well, a little bit. You take numbers? No, I don't take no numbers. You ever fingerprinted for anything? No, I was never fingerprinted. Never fingerprinted? Because we're going to fingerprint you. Well, it's all right. It's your privilege, I guess. Excuse me a minute, Lieutenant. He was in the spot up in the Avenue tonight. Yeah, we'll come to that. Say, Jerry, check the BCI on this phone and address. And you got a pretty good description of him. Okay. And then I want you to check the Information Bureau and see if he's been. Do you ever get a summons for anything? No. Never had a summons in your life? No. You mean a parking summons and something like that? Well, I got a ticket for speed once or twice. How long ago was that? Summons, isn't it? Yeah. Why don't you answer the question? Well, I call those tickets, you know. You were convicted then. Was that right? You were fine. Yeah, I was fine. Well, that's a conviction. Now, where were you at 9:20? I was at Glenham's Bar and Grill on Second Avenue between about 75th and 76th Street. I got there about, oh, about 9:00. I had some real rotten chow there and then had a few beers with Spud and Tommy, what I told you about. And we were chewing the rag there for about an hour. The fight went on at about 10 o'clock and we made a couple of bets, me and this bud and Tommy. And you didn't leave the premises between 9 and 10 o'clock? No. No. Did you see the whole fight? Yeah, I went 10 rounds. Who won the fight? I'm Merrill. I won the fight. What odds did you get? 2 to 1. I gave the odds. Oh, you gave the odds, huh? What did you get on that, Jerry? Anything? McCondy. What are you handing out here? You did a bit in 1952 for Pettit Larsny. What kind of a pudd. At last he went to the island. What kind of a pellet larceny was that? Was that grand larceny reduced to pellet larceny? You took a plea on it, didn't you? Yes, yes. It was grand larceny then, wasn't it? Well, yeah, I don't. Listen, I don't know the technical words for these two. Oh, you know just as much about it as we do. Well, you arrest, you know more law about that. Fellas, listen. Who use your car tonight? We haven't got all night. There's a man dying. I told you when we picked you up at your house that we were going to verify everything that you told us. Remember me saying. Yeah, yeah, I know that. Listen, Mac, why don't you stop kidding? We're bringing the bartender over here. Well, you can bring him in. He's coming in that's okay with me. Howie, take this guy over and fingerprint him and let him think this thing over. And if he don't come up with something different, boy, you're in. It's after one in the morning. A detective has gone to Glenham's Bar and Grill on Second Avenue to get the bartender Whitey. He brings him into Lieutenant Campion's office. Hi, Luke. Hello. This is Harry White and they call him Whitey. He's the bartender. This is Lieutenant Campy in charge of the squad here. Hello, Whitey. How are you? This is Detective Heaney and Detective Jacobson. Hi, Whitey. Howdy. This. How long you been in our precinct, Whitey? Oh, I've been working a joint up there about eight years now. Eight years, huh? Yeah. All right if I sit down? No, go ahead, sit down. You can smoke, do what you want. You know Joe McCondy, Whitey? Yeah, I know Joe a long time. Did you see him tonight? Yeah, yeah, he was in tonight. Was he in the gym tonight? Yeah, yeah. Was he there all night? Well, wait a minute. Pretty busy night. He came in. Came in a little after 9:00. And it was about 9:00. Yeah, he was there all night then. Yeah, he was there. Well, let's see now. The fights. He was watching the fights. He was there till about A quarter of 11, I think, anyway. Who was he with, lady? I have a couple of pals of his. Who are they? Oh, I don't know. Their last name's Tom and Bud something. He's always with them. What time did Joe come in there, did you say? I think it was around 9:00. Joe wasn't 10:00. Oh, no, no, he was in at 10:00. Was he there at 7:30? No, he wasn't there at 7:30. Did you miss him any time at all between 9 and 10:00? Between 9 and 10? Yeah. Did you miss him? No. He took a bed off. No, he was there. He was drinking all the time. Well, he said he was there since about 7:30. All evening and all night. Somebody's lying here, Whitey. Either you or him. Now, come on. I remember. Listen, I know. I know Joe very well. What about his two pals, Whitey? Did they leave the place at all tonight? No, the two pals were there. They were there all the time. I came in with. Wait a minute. I tell you one thing. The phone rang and I picked it up and the call was for Joe. But this was. This was about 10:30, I think. So I called Joe, and Joe went up the phone. I forgot about it. I was busy, like I said, you know. And suddenly Joe comes running up the bar. He says, I gotta go. What time was that? Well, this was. This was about right after the fight. Was this male or female voice? You mean the guy that called for it was a male voice. And he called. And then Joe said he had to leave right away. Yeah, he said something about. He says, I gotta go up to Ellie's. I think it was. What time was that about? I think it was about quarter of 11. It was right after the fights were over. Oh, we don't need a lineup for this. Bring Joe in and make sure he identifies Dick. Go out and bring Joe in. Is this the fellow here? Yeah. Hi, Whitey. Hi, Joe. Hi, Joe. Yeah. You said that you were in the bar all night. Yeah. Until the time you come home. The detectives met you at your door. Yeah. What are you lying about? Well, I was there. Whoa, now, stop. Whitey said you weren't there. He said you left there. Who's Ellie? I don't know. Noelle. Well, you got a phone call and you left the place all excited. Well, I wasn't excited. I. Yeah, it's. I got a phone call at Whitey's place. You see, now, here's the way it works. Like I told you before, I. All right. I'd take a little book in there, see? Listen, Joe. No, that's true. That's true. You want to. You want to hold a bag for everybody, hold it. Because you're going to hold it unless you tell us who you loan your car to or if somebody else used your car. Maybe Joe would rather talk to us with Whitey outside. You wait outside a while. Going out with him, Dick, huh? Very good. Good luck, Joe. All right, Whitey. Thanks. Are you gonna tell us who you loan your car to or not? I didn't lend it to no, Brian. Nobody had your car tonight. No, you had. It was on the street. Hold it, fellas. Does the car belong to you? There's no mortgage on it or anything else. It all belongs to you. Yeah. Does everything in the car belong to you? That stuff in the back on the trunk and all like that, Everything belongs to you, huh? Is that right? That's right. All right. Well, how about the gun under the seat? Oh, no, not the Bottler gun. Now, you fellas heard him say everything belongs to him. And do you know, with a previous misdemeanor, Boy, this is a felony. You're not kidding anybody. You're in well, there's a man dying over there. All I know is you could check with the whitey and with Bud. Bud works in the garage. I'm forced to have you. We'll have somebody check. Makandi, I want to tell you something. Yeah. Now, we found this gun in your car. And what we're going to do, we're going to send this gun down to the ballistic bureau to have a test made and to see if it conforms with the bullets that were shot into that man tonight. So we're just going to hold you. You are now arrested. You're arrested for 1897 of the penal law, which happens to be a felony. So I want to tell you right now, you're permitted to call somebody or write a letter. Why don't you get some off of yourself and kick in? You haven't got a chance. I tell you, everything I told you is true. We've been babying you all day and all night. We're not going to baby you anymore. I don't want to take no raps for nobody. So you're not going to take any raps? No. I'm glad to hear that. Why don't you tell the lieutenant just what happened? Okay, let's go. I got a phone call. Let him tell Whitey. You see, from Dunk. Dunk. What's Dunk's name? Dunk. Rui. Dunk. Rui. Yeah, it's like Dewey with an R. Where does he live? He lives on 398, 71st Street. That's Ellie's. That's his girlfriend. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what he called me from Ellie's house. Let's take this name and address for a while. Check that at the bci, See if we get anything on him. Go ahead, now. Well, he called me up and he said he had to see me, you see, So I told him to come down because I wanted to watch the fight. I didn't want to miss the last round. So he said it was very important I should come to Ellie's house as fast as I could get Daisy. He was the one who was excited. I wasn't excited. You're the calm type. Yeah, you know. So anyway, I went over to Ellie's house and I loaned Dunk my car. He didn't tell me what he was going to do. No? He twisted your arm for you to get it from the car. Well, I lend him a car. Where's Duncan? I don't know where he is now. Maybe he's at Ellie's. At Ellie's house? Yeah. What time do you lend him the car? I don't know when he took it. I gave him the keys. Where do you generally meet him? At whities. At whities? Yeah. But he goes study with Ellie, huh? Yeah, I've been up there for a bit. Does he live with her? Well, he's there most of the time. Just a friend. Let's be discreet, you know. What's that location again? Three Night, the 80s. 71st. What a problem. It's 3E, I think it is. It's on the third floor. They got a phone over there? Yeah. Okay. Say, Dick, Jerry, get right over to this Ellie's house. You may nail this guy right there. In fact, I think we better put him in the boob downstairs and we'll all go over. Now, 20 minutes later, the detectives are in the hall on the third floor outside of Ellie's flat here as they hope to make the final arrest in the case. Lt. Campion gives his instructions. Yeah, but nobody get you guns out right now. We don't want anybody to get. Yeah. Special delivery. Okay. Where's Duncan? Wait a minute, wait a minute. Don't hide it. There's no such a hiding. She's gonna be a nice little girl. Listen, Ellie, where's Duncan? Where's Duncan? Who? Oh, you know, Dunk. Who? Now, don't give us that line. I don't know what you're talking about. Really. They don't have place over, lieutenant. Yeah? Look, this giant. Yeah. Give this a good. What's happened here? We'll find out. We'll find out where the best moving men in the world. We're gonna scream too. So just keep it nice and go over there and sit down. It's my money. How much is that? I couple of hundred dollars. What is a couple of hundred? It's my money. It's all I got. It's all my money. How much? Choice. $300 or something like that. I saved it. Ellie, where's Dunk? I Dunk. Come on. We knew he was up here. Jerry, let her watch him. Count in this dough, will you? How much is that? There's $815 here. $815. I don't take it out and count it all the time. I don't keep my money in the bank. I keep it under there. Hold on. The difference is between a couple of hundred dollars and eight hundred dollars. I'm going to cover the door in case this bum comes. Oh, do that by all means. And yell if you need some help. There let's get back to the money. It's my money. It's my money. It's all the money I have. Don't be screaming. I ask you that again. What do you do for a living? I don't know anything right now. Where did you get this money? I saved it. I. I've worked other times. I've been in the States. What kind of work do you do? Well, I've been on the stage. How long ago? Several years ago. Just for a little while. And then I've had other jobs. Well, how do you maintain yourself right now? Right now I'm unemployed. For how long? Oh, about six months or something like that. Six months. And you got 815 fish under the COVID there. You live here alone, Ellie? Yes, sir, I do. What's the men's clothes doing in the closet? Some. That's your father's? No, not my father. Is there somebody left them here? No. Explain. Come on, she'll explain. You've been arrested before, Ellie? No. Never been? No. Hold on. Ellie. Yeah, man. Give him a quick fan. What's this? Ellie? Give him a frisk. Oh, I don't know. They didn't sit down. He sat down there. You didn't know Dunk, huh? I didn't say I didn't know him. I said I hadn't seen him in a long time and I hadn't. Dunk, you better get that new suit out of the closet. You're gonna need it. Where cops? I don't know you cops. Oh. Do you want to be shown? Sure, I want to be shown. What do you work at? Bum you. We'll show you. What do you work at? I don't work. I'm sick. Are you? You'll be sicker when this is over. How long do you know the Jane hit? How long do I know you? A couple. Couple years? Yes. A couple years what? Live here. Well, I don't know what you want. What do you want with me? I know your clothes in the closet. They're his clothes. Did you leave any money with her? You left. You left an envelope with her, didn't you? Some dough. She said. You shut up. You keep quiet. What must leave with her? Look, I. Look, I want a lawyer. I mean, I don't get a lawyer. You get a lawyer. How much did I leave with her? How much money? She said I did all right. I left her some money. She said you left 800 bucks. Is that right? I didn't leave. How much? Leave you 800. No, no, no. You didn't count It. I didn't leave any $800. So you got a charge or something? Where am I charging? I'm gonna give you 48. Did you ever hear about a 40? I don't know what it is. No. Well, we make out a short affidavit down in court, see? And it's a 48. And if we can't find anything on you in 48 hours, we give you another 48. And we keep giving you 48 until you get wise. What kind of a deal is that? I did not. All right, get them up. We'll take them down the house, middle. I see that, Joe. I'll tell him. Come on. Keep going, Dunk. Next time I'll borrow somebody else's car. And that was cops and Robbers. With real cops and not so real robbers. They were actors, and I'm sure you will agree, very good actors playing for the most part without a script, knowing only the backgrounds and motivations of their characters. John Sylvester was Dunk. Elspeth Eric was Ellie. Larry Haynes played Joe. And Ken lynch was the bartender. The CBS Radio Workshop is grateful to Lieutenant Dan Campion and detectives Richard Jacobson, Howard Clancy and Jerry Heaney for helping us try to prove a point. I hope we did. You have been listening to Cops and Robbers on the CBS Radio Workshop. Cops and Robbers was conceived and directed by Stanley Niss, who also acted as your narrator. All names were fictitious, except those of our detectives who are all retired members of the Detective Division, Police Department, City of New York. This is Art Hannis inviting you to listen next week when the CBS Radio Workshop will present the Legend of Jimmy Blue Eyes, a narrative poem set to music by Ray Noble. The story of a jazz trumpeter who sells his soul to the devil. The CBS Radio Workshop is produced in New York by Paul Roberts. Another brilliant concert by the New York Philharmonic Symphony comes to you over most of these same stations on Sunday as Guido Cantelli returns to conduct an exciting program featuring the Beethoven Concerto number 4 in G major with the distinguished German pianist William Bachaus as soloist. Stay tuned for five minutes of CBS News to be followed on most of these same stations by the Jack Carson Show. Tonight, the CBS Radio Workshop was transcribed. This is the CBS Radio Network. There is a section of Kansas in which I shall never be welcome. This is the reason for it. Frontier gentlemen here with an Englishman's account of life and death in the West. As a reporter for the London Times, he writes his colorful and unusual stories. But as a man with a gun, he lives and becomes a part of the Violent Years in the New Territories. Now starring John Daner. This is the story of J.B. kendall, Frontier Gentleman. I had arrived in the town of Ossawatomie by way of riverboat. Down the Missouri to Kansas City and then overland to this site of the famous battle. I hoped to write a story on the abolitionist John Brown. But two things prevented my doing so. The first was the weather. In a region where I was told the rain was plentiful, not a drop had fallen for more than three months. Eastern Kansas was in the grip of a severe drought. The second reason was Darby Bulman. I met him as I was doing a sketch of John Brown's cabin. He drew up in a wagon, got down and peered over my shoulder, silent for a few minutes, then cleared his throat and said, hot, ain't it? Yes, very. Ain't seasonal, so I'm told. You a stranger around here? M2? Just come in town. Ain't much to see, is there? No, not much. It's a pretty fair likeness of the cabin. Thank you. Chimney don't seem to stick out just right, though, don't mind me saying. Well, it's. It's only a rough sketch. Ain't squatty enough neither. Outside of that, ain't bad. You make a living doing that? No, now, I'm a writer. This is just a sideline. Oh. So you any good at making signs? Writing them? Well, I'd be willing to pay $2. Won't go no higher than 2. Don't need none of them fancy curlicues. Just a good old sign, nice and easy writing so those folks can read it. Do it myself. I ain't much of a hand at that kind of thing. Well, I figure for $2 you can draw in a picture along with the words. What kind of sign? You write it out, I'll tell it to you slow. All right. Just a minute. All right, go on. Darby Bulman. Darby. D, E, R. D, A, R. Oh, sorry, Darby. King of the rainmakers of the rain makers. Will guarantee to. Will guarantee to fix it to rain for the price of $1,000. Would you prefer guarantee to bring forth rain for the price? Fine, fine. Bring forth rain for the price of $1,000. That's right, yes. Now, what kind of a picture would you figure to draw with that? What would you suggest? Oh, I don't know. Something good and wet, though. You know, give them the idea. You're not serious, Mr. Bulma. Sure, I'm serious. You think I'm flapping my gums to make wind you. You can actually make it rain. I've been doing it nigh on five years. How I got my methods. Mister, don't you worry about that. Thousand dollars is a lot of money. Sure it is. But it's a sight less than what these homesuckers is going to lose. And it don't rain. Come to think of it, you know I'll be needing an assistant. You want the job? Well, pay you $50 in feed. Well, what are the requirements for an assistant? Oh, ain't nothing to it. You get that sign made. I got me a big roll of paper and wagon yonder. Then we stick the sign up over the wagon and drive through the town. Soon as we get us a likely crowd gathered, I make the speech and you wait to start the collection. Small point, but supposing they don't believe you? Ain't human nature not to believe me. Cows and crops is perishing for want of rain, ain't they? Yes. Fellow like me comes along and gives them rain, they'll believe me. Have you ever failed? No. No. No, mister. Oh. What's your name anyhow? Kendall. Kendall. You see that feller coming this way herding them cows? Yes. Wait. I'll show you what I mean. Get over there. You reach case of work. Morning, stranger. Morning. Them cows of yours kind of scrawny, ain't they? They sure are, mister. Unless we get some rain mighty soon, ain't going to be no better than Rawhide. And I guess your troubles is over, stranger. That so? Yeah. You're talking to Darby Bowman, king of the rainmakers. This is my assistant, Slim Kendall. That's all? Yes, sir. If and you want a good big rain, you come on down to town at 5:00. Tell your friends I got the makings for the wettest rain you ever see. Bring it right down from the clouds. Ain't no clouds. Not right yet there ain't. But that's what I aim to scare up. Hey, you be willing to pay maybe $50 for an inch of water in your fields? Mister, you do that, I'd be willing to pay a hundred. I ain't a greedy man. Like I say, my wagon will be in the middle of the town, 5:00. You tell your friends. I surely will, mister. Yes, sir, I surely will. Get out of this. See the way it is, Caleb. I get me 20 fellers like that pay $50 a piece, I get me a thousand. But how can you guarantee that? I mean, what do they do if you can't produce the rain? Didn't you hear me get through telling him? It'll be the easiest $50 you ever made. Kendall, now you get going on that sign. I gotta start mixing up the makings. Now, this here's gonna be the wettest county in Kansas come tomorrow. Of all Baby filters cigarettes Kent filters best Kent filters best it makes good sense when you smoke Kent Kent filters best of all of the brands of cigarettes Kent tastes the best Kent tastes the best Richer taste than all the rest Kent filters best it makes good sense when you smoke Kent above ladybuilders cigarettes Kent filters best I was torn between curiosity and common sense. The one counseled me to stay with Darby Bulman to act in whatever assistant capacity he saw fit. And the other warned me to put as much distance as I could between the rainmaker and myself. So common sense lost. I'm a newspaper correspondent and there was something about the fat little man that intrigued me. So I made the sign complete with a soaking wet landscape as a background. Bulbin was immensely pleased. At exactly 5 o'clock, we drove the wagon into town and drew up outside the sheriff's office. As for my instructions, I began beating on a large saucepan with a heavy iron spoon. A small crowd began to gather. Gather round, folks. Come in real close. That's a good. All right, gather round so's I don't have to string my vitals. That's just fine. Just fine. Now, I guess you can all read. So you know what that there sign says. We see what it says. We ain't so sure what it means, though. It means what it says, mister, I'm here to bring you rain. And when I say rain, I don't mean no tittle and spit. I mean a goose drownder. A regular gully washer. I mean to make it wet enough to bog or snipe. That's what it told me. That's what it said. What's your business, mister? You can read, can't your friend? I ain't your friend, mister. I'm Sheriff Finick. I am to keep law and order in this here county. You creating a disturbance of the peace? No such thing. Me and my assistant, Slim, we're setting up a business deal like it says. $1,000 and I make rain. Ain't possible. You hear that? Sheriff says it ain't possible. Well, here's what I say. 24 hours. You give me 24 hours and if there ain't a puddle of water in every pothole in the street, nobody pays me nothing. Bowman. We had fellows around these parts before claiming they could bring down weather. Alaston got run out on a rail. I'm willing to take the medicine same as him. If and I don't make good thousand dollars a heap of money. Sure is. You got proof? You can do what you say. Where else you brung the rain? Where else? I'll tell you where. Out to Californy. I went down the Sacramento Valley two years back so as you could take a boat from Marysville down to Sacramento and never touch dry land. Hey, I don't see no harm. If it's a guarantee, we gotta make it legal like suits me. Anything you say, Har. Go over and fetch lawyer Woolsack. Tell him to come on over to the sheriff's office. We need some papers, mate. Now. I got it written up clear and understanding. Read it, will you? Well, the consideration of the mutual covenants herein contained the parties hereto have agreed and do agree as follows. Wherefore and whereas. You can get over the wherefores and whereases. Collie. What do it say in brief? A corporation in this town agrees to sell shares and to utilize such monies collected to pay Darby Bulwin the sum of $1,000 upon delivery within 24 hours of one inch of natural waters. One half of the sum to be paid on signature of this document and the other half to be paid when the task is completed. If rain is not forthcoming within the stipulated time, all money shall be returned by the party of the first part, etc. Etc. Well, now, that sounds mighty fine. What do you say, Slim? Clear and concise. Now, what ain't in the papers is what I'm telling you, Bowman. Now, if this here is some kind of gouge, you and your pal ain't gonna be in no condition to try it no more. You remember that. I ain't got time to worry about that, Sheriff. Let's sign them papers. I got a mess of work to do. Yep, sign right here. That's my mark. Well, now, ain't that something? All out there, big talk. He can't even write his name. His mark is perfectly legal, Sheriff. Now you, sir. Right you are, J. B Noodley agenda. That's right. Excellent. Now I shall sign for the corporation. Collier Woolsec. Let me through. Make way. Oh, we got troubles, boys. Sounds like Mrs. Cunningham. What is this idea? Collier Wolzek, Sheriff Finnick. Isn't it fair? Dear lady, nothing to worry about. Don't mealy mouth, Mr. Woolsack. There's devil's work. Now, Mrs. I forbid it. Don't see how you rightly can forbid anything, ma'am. I got A contract here. All signed, legalized. It's the devil's work. Are you a man of temperance? If you mean do I take a sup of snake poison, no, ma'am, I ain't a man of temperance. This town will not suffer the evils of intoxicating liquors nor the workings of the devil. I ain't no devil, man. I think you misunderstand, madam. Mr. Bulman is not intoxicated. He's a rainmaker. You, sir, are in the presence of a lady. How dare you speak to me in that tone. Sheriff, I demand that you put a stop to this devil's work immediately. Now, don't you worry about a thing, Mrs. Cunningham. There ain't gonna be no liquoring or carrying on, I promise you. It is against the laws of nature. Only the great main maker up yonder has the right to create rain. I forbid you to attempt such a thing. The Women's Crusaders will be called out to put a stop to it. I warn you now, there ain't no need of that, Mrs. Cunningham. I have nothing more to say. We have put the devil out of Osawatomie. He will not return in the guise of these two wicked men. Liquor and sin. Liquor and sin. Somebody's wife. Not no more. Kendall buried, too. Talked him to death, some say. I ain't having no trouble with Mary Elizabeth Cunningham or them Women's Crusaders. No, sir. You boys better get out of town. We got a legal signed paper. Ain't that so, slim? Definitely so. There's no backing out of it, Sheriff. Less than you want to pay the thousand dollars by default. Just 24 hours is all I need, fellers. Maybe less. Then you'll have your reign and that old female buzzard won't have nothing to say. Mister, you listen here to what I'm telling you. If and you don't come through with that rain, I'll turn you both over to the Women's Crusaders. And what they'll do to you'll make a lynching party seem like evening social. You got 24 hours. If it's new, Plymouth. Got it. Got it. The 59 Plymouth's got it. If it's new. If it's new. If it's new. The 59 Plymouth is at your Plymouth dealers now. It's new, it's wonderful and it's here. New styling to make your heart sing. Plymouth for 59 has that fine car look. New Fury models at new lower prices. New swivel seats. Swing you in when you enter, swing you out when you leave. New push Button heater. World's simplest temperature control. New Golden Commando V8. Biggest engine in the low price field. New Mirrormatic mirror. New automatic headlight dimmer. New sport deck. New everything. See the completely new 59 Plymouth Drive. The completely new 59 Plymouth at your Plymouth dealers. Now, Darby, Bulman and I left the town and went to a field a mile or two away. The rainmaker scurried about unloading sacks from the wagon, contents unknown. Then we wrestled two immense cauldrons down to the ground. While I built fires under the containers, Bulman emptied the sacks and began to stir in a liquid which he poured from large jars. A great cloud of dense smoke began to rise into the night, spreading oily black, and with it arose a most incredible stench. If nothing else, the heavens would weep at that alone. What? What is it? My own chemical invention. Ain't nothing else like it. I should hope not. That ought to do it. All I got to do now is to keep her good and hot and wait. Oh, she's rising just fine. Might get something sooner than I figured. Wind's right. Yes, sir. Shouldn't be too long. We spent the night in the field, alternately napping and tending the fire. At dawn there were only gray wisps rising from the cauldrons and the sky was cloudless. Bulmen whistled cheerfully as we loaded the wagon, then made our way back to the sheriff's office. Well, you don't seem particularly worried. Ain't no reason I should be. You neither. From that sky, I'd say there wasn't any rain within 100 miles. You'd say that, huh? Well, we got a few hours to go yet. Boom Boom. Morning, boys. Oh, morning. Mighty dry start for a rainy day. Yes, that's a fact. Here he was making lots of smoke down the roadway. Old Harar, he said. There was a powerful stink when he took the cows out this morning. So some of the fellers ain't feeling so happy. Waking up this morning not finding no rain, that's so. Oh, morning, Sheriff. Morning. Well, might have. Nice of you to save me the trouble of coming out to get you. There something wrong, Sheriff? You know doggone well something's wrong. Another hour, this town's going to be bellerin for your skins. Rain. Ain't gonna be no rain. You know it. 24 hours like the paper says, ain't but a mite after nine. Now we still got nine hours to go. Six o'clock this evening is finishing time. Well, I ain't takin no chances. Both youse gon be locked up why? Why? Cause I'm sworn. Uphold the peace, that's why. Folks around here's havin a bad time with this dry spell. They're touch enough to get mean. And that Mrs. Cunningham and her crusader ladies. Well, I don't want no trouble. You get in that cell and stay there. Ain't worth fretting, Slim. She'll rain by and by. Inside. Wouldn't care to send in some breakfast, would you, Sheriff? I'll send out for some. Sheriff. Sheriff, there's going to be trouble. A bunch of men up the street. They saw Bulman and Kendall come into your office. They're talking about trickery. They're. They're ugly. Very ugly. I knew it was at a meeting last night. The Crusaders. Mary Elizabeth Cunningham has got the women worked up. Mrs. Woolsock accused me of working with the devil. It sure must have been some town before that leaky mouth woman cleaned it up. Listen, they're coming. Look, a bargain's a bargain. We agreed 24 hours. Oh, you ain't sticking to that crazy talk, are you? You know, there ain't gonna be no rain. If you're lucky, I can stop him from lynching you. Maybe just tarn and feather will be enough for him. It's highly illegal. Highly illegal or my idea? I think you'd better unlock the cell. No, sir. You stare out there. He's off. Boy, that ain't no call to get excited. We aim to take them ornery skunks out and string them up. No rain. Not a lot of bad smell. My old woman's got the heaves on account of that stink. Turn them over. Our sheriff. We'll take care of. Fellas. Hey, fellas. I just. I just heard. It came over the telegraph. It's raining. Rain all over. Over to Ottawa, down the line to O City, Lawrence, Topeka, Kansas City. It's raining. It ain't raining here. Our contract specifically calls for rain in automotive. And unless the provisions of the contract are. What was that? Well, it weren't my stomach, that's for sure. Hey, take a look out the window, boys. Clouds coming in. Mr. Bulman, I'd say you are a very fortunate man. Ain't nothing fortunate about it. Purely scientific is all. Never fails. But between you and me, it might be a good idea if we got out of here. Darby Bulman received the remainder of his fee and in a torrent of rain, we drove out of Osawatomie. We didn't escape the downpour until the next day and within some 50 miles south of the town from what I've heard, the storm lasted for three days, and the damage caused by the flooding river will long be remembered, as will the name of Darby Bulman. It's no surprise to anybody that the attractive and inexpensive new radios have proved popular. It's no surprise, that is, to anyone who listens to CBS radio. With so much in the way of music, comedy, drama, variety and news coming your way every day on CBS Radio, more than one radio around the house is more than a convenience. It's almost a necessity for anyone who has a daily routine. The man in the house wants to come home to an attractive home and an attractive wife, but household chores in themselves are rarely inspirational. The smart homemaker is one who refuses to let her regular responsibilities get her down. She gets her work done every day, but she gets her entertainment in, too. She has a radio in the kitchen as well as the living room. Chances are she has a portable radio as well to follow her from one task to another around the house. She knows why the inexpensive new radios are so popular, and she knows the value of CBS Radio, too. Frontier Gentlemen was written, produced and directed by Anthony Ellis and stars John Dana as JP Kendall. Featured in the cast were Joseph Kearns, Jack Crucian, Stacy Harris, Virginia Gregg, Charles Seale and Jack Mountain. Join us again next week for another report from the Frontier Gentleman Bud Sewell speaking, RA that's the Relic Radio show for this week. There's more from the CBS Radio Workshop, Frontier Gentlemen, this podcast, and all of the other podcasts including Case Closed. If you want to hear more Cops and Robbers that'll be out tomorrow, you can find it all@ Relicradio.com and our shoutcast stream with even more. If you'd like to help support it all, visit donate. Relicradio.com or click on one of the links on the website. Your support makes it all happen. Thank you. As always to those who have thanks for joining me this week. Talk to you tomorrow with Case Closed and next Tuesday with our next episode of the Relic Radio Show.