Bon Iver's Tinned Fish with Josh Gondelman

Summary

The Review of Mess: Episode Summary - "Bon Iver's Tinned Fish with Josh Gondelman"

Release Date: April 21, 2025

Introduction and Guest Welcome

In this episode of The Review of Mess, hosts Jessica DeFino and Emily Kirkpatrick welcome their special guest, Josh Gondelman. Jessica, known for her provocative newsletter The Review of Beauty, and Emily, creator of I <3 Mess, delve into the quirks of pop culture, fashion, and beauty with their signature critical lens. The episode kicks off with light-hearted banter as the trio introduces themselves.

Guest Background and Online Presence

Jessica begins by providing background information on Josh, highlighting his diverse career. She mentions Josh's involvement in creating the Twitter account "Seinfeld," a nod to his comedic talents.

Jessica DeFino [00:57]: "I was actually looking up your Wikipedia briefly to put, like, intro stuff in the doc, and I didn't realize that you're also the comedian behind the Twitter account Seinfeld."

Josh laughs off the reference, pointing out that the Seinfeld account dates back to "a very bygone Internet era."

Josh Gondelman [00:57]: "Sometimes it's very funny when that comes up, because I think it's, like, such a bygone Internet era that when people bring it up, I'm like, I haven't heard that name in three years."

The conversation shifts to their respective presences on Wikipedia. While Josh acknowledges his listing as a notable resident in his hometown of Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Emily admits she doesn't exist on Wikipedia.

Josh Gondelman [02:04]: "I am on my hometown's list of notable residents, which feels heartwarming."

Emily shares a humorous anecdote about temporarily adding herself to her college's notable alumni section, only to have it removed after a few months.

Nostalgia for Local Hangouts: Friendly Toast

The discussion transitions to a nostalgic conversation about local eateries, particularly the restaurant "Friendly Toast." Emily reminisces about her time working there when it was owned by a rockabilly couple, painting a vivid picture of the establishment's unique ambiance.

Emily Kirkpatrick [03:07]: "And the floors were always covered in a thick layer of like, maple syrup."

Josh shares his experiences visiting various Friendly Toast locations, expressing a desire to see more authentic outlets aligned with its New Hampshire roots.

Josh Gondelman [03:33]: "Yeah. The original friendly toast."

The hosts laugh over the quirks of the restaurant chain, discussing its expansion and changes in ownership.

Diving into Male Beauty and Skincare

Shifting gears, Jessica introduces a topic close to her editorial vein—male beauty routines. She expresses her enthusiasm to hear Josh's perspective on men’s skincare and hygiene practices.

Jessica DeFino [04:53]: "But I am excited to have you on the pod, and I was excited to get your list of topics because I've been dying to talk to, you know, someone of the male experience about the male beauty."

Josh opens up about his personal hygiene regimen, which he considers straightforward yet effective. He outlines his routine, emphasizing basic practices like showering, shaving, and using deodorant.

Josh Gondelman [05:13]: "I feel like my hygiene regiment is, dude, normal. I shower, I shave, I use some deodorant. I got an Old Spice deodorant."

He touches upon his use of a quality shampoo despite being bald and mentions his wife's generous gifting of a nice lotion, which he humorously admits to neglecting.

Josh Gondelman [06:17]: "I feel like I'm describing it pretty well, though, for they're not like, yeah, you are."

Jessica and Emily engage with Josh, discussing the balance between necessary skincare maintenance and indulging in elaborate beauty routines often seen in pop culture. They explore the societal expectations placed on men regarding appearance and self-care.

Jessica DeFino [07:37]: "You are the blueprint, Josh."

The conversation highlights the simplicity of Josh's approach, contrasting it with the overwhelming and sometimes superficial beauty standards prevalent today.

Conclusion

While the provided transcript covers only the initial segment of the episode, it sets the stage for an engaging conversation that bridges personal anecdotes with broader cultural critiques. Jessica, Emily, and Josh intertwine humor with insightful observations, offering listeners a candid look into the intersections of beauty, culture, and personal experience.

Notable Quotes:

• Josh Gondelman [00:57]: "Sometimes it's very funny when that comes up, because I think it's, like, such a bygone Internet era."

• Josh Gondelman [02:04]: "I am on my hometown's list of notable residents, which feels heartwarming."

• Emily Kirkpatrick [03:07]: "And the floors were always covered in a thick layer of like, maple syrup."

• Jessica DeFino [07:37]: "You are the blueprint, Josh."

This episode offers a blend of nostalgia, personal storytelling, and critical analysis, making it a must-listen for fans interested in the nuanced conversations surrounding pop culture and personal grooming.

Transcript

[Jessica Defino]

Hello, and welcome to the Review of Mess, a podcast dedicated to discussing the highs and lows of pop culture every month. I'm Jessica Defino. I write the newsletter, the Review of Beauty.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

And I'm Emily Kirkpatrick. I write the newsletter I heart Mess. And this month, we're joined by our very special guest, Josh Gondelman. Thank you for being here.

[Josh Gondelman]

Thank you so much for having me. And I write the newsletter. That's marvelous.

[Jessica Defino]

I was gonna jump in and say it if you didn't, because we love. That's marvelous.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, thank you. It was. I just felt like a very symmetrical way to begin recording.

[Jessica Defino]

No, yeah, it was perfect. I was actually looking up your Wikipedia briefly to put, like, intro stuff in the doc, and I didn't realize that you're also the comedian behind the Twitter account Seinfeld.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, yeah, it was me and my friend Jacqueline Moore. Yeah, it was years and years ago, but it was very. It's. Sometimes it's very funny when that comes up, because I think it's, like, such a bygone Internet era that when people bring it up, I'm like, I haven't heard that name in three years.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

The good old days.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, truly.

[Jessica Defino]

Oh, that's so funny. Yeah, it's like, top. Top of your Wikipedia.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jessica Defino]

One of the main things that's up there.

[Josh Gondelman]

We gotta get my. Whoever edits my Wikipedia page. Yeah, whoever. Whoever it is that's eventually going to murder me. We got to get them to update. No, it's very nice. I feel very appreciative that anyone has done that.

[Jessica Defino]

I know. It's kind of like a legit thing. I'm, like, too scared to look myself up, so I don't know if there would ever exist one.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

I don't know. I don't exist on Wikipedia. I know that.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, off the grid.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

Yeah, I'm off the grid. Well, when I first graduated college, I jokingly added myself to my college's, like, notable alumni section. Great. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Did it stick?

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

It stuck for a couple of months. It was there for a couple of months, though, and I was like, I do need to put it back in there. Who deletes, like, who's editing that? I don't know.

[Josh Gondelman]

I don't know if I'm on my colleges. I'm from a pretty small town in Massachusetts, and I am on my hometowns list of notable residents, which feels heartwarming.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

I didn't even think about hometown. I am also from a very small town. I should look into notable people from yeah. Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Let's see.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, hell yeah. Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

All right. A fan.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The original friendly toast.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

Oh, I worked there. That was literally my. That was my first job. Now we're dying. Friendly toast. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Jessica, I'm so sorry.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

Yeah, this is super.

[Josh Gondelman]

I will bulldog like anyone.

[Jessica Defino]

I want to know what the friendly toast is.

[Josh Gondelman]

I will just bulldog that shit. The. The Portsmouth is 24 hours, right. Or am I over the weekend?

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

Yeah, it was. So they got bought by kind of like a chain corporation. And it's not the same as it used to be when it was just a weird, like, rockabilly couple that owned it. It was amazing. That's when I worked there. And the floors were always covered in a thick layer of like, maple syrup.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

And it was never passing the health inspection, but the food was off. Off the chain.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah. I went to the. I went to the Kendall Square one a bunch. I don't remember if that. I don't know if that was like they branched out.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

That was.

[Josh Gondelman]

But yeah. Yeah. So I went to that one that.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

Was the original couples. Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

And then I've been to the Burlington one for sure. And then I keep. I'm. That makes so much sense that they got bought because I've seen other locations and I'm like, what the fuck? You're supposed to be in New Hampshire.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

That's right. That's where you belong. Get back.

[Jessica Defino]

Where's the closest one? Because now I need to experience now.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

I have no idea.

[Josh Gondelman]

I bet I'm going to look it up. New. I think it's only New England still.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

Yeah. I. I grew up with only those two existing. And so I don't know what the new. The new era is like, but. Yeah, that was my first job. I worked with a bunch of punks.

[Josh Gondelman]

Yeah.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

My whole town. Yeah. That was kind of the scene.

[Josh Gondelman]

I love. I love like any restaurant, not even a theme restaurant, but just a restaurant where, you know the service is gonna be dog shit.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

Right.

[Josh Gondelman]

I like so much respect for that. And the food is so good. I love that. Whether it's like a diner or like, you know, a little like family run place somewhere.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

Totally.

[Josh Gondelman]

There's a place. Speaking of Burlington, Vermont, there's a place where there's just one. It's a sandwich place. It's called like Sandwiches of the World or something. That's the theme where like every sandwiches is taking inspiration from a different nation's cuisine. And it's just one guy and his thing is like, you fudgeing. Get your sandwich Man. And don't, don't ask questions. Don't tap your watch. It's like, very. This is an ungenerous way, but, like, the way he was described to me is like kind of Vermont's own Soup Nazi.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

Mm. I, I respect it.

[Josh Gondelman]

Same.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

Yeah.

[Josh Gondelman]

Oh, it's so good. Yeah.

[Jessica Defino]

Oh, I want to go. I'm hungry. Now all we've done is talk about food, so.

[Josh Gondelman]

Sorry.

[Jessica Defino]

It's okay. It's okay. But I am excited to have you on the pod, and I was excited to get your list of topics because I've been dying to talk to, you know, someone of the male experience about the male beauty. Boom.

[Josh Gondelman]

Okay, So I, I have some questions.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

You're being cornered. Yeah, that's right.

[Josh Gondelman]

No, I, I, I came prepared to talk about my, you know, what I would describe as my beauty, my experience of being very beautiful, which is. Okay, so I had a question for you and kind of been saving it. I should have just written to your column, but I do, like, I would, I would describe, and you can feel free to disagree. I feel like my hygiene regiment is, dude, normal. I shower, I shave, I use some deodorant. I got an Old Spice deodorant. I do. Even though I'm very bald, I do splurge for a nice shampoo, but I like the smell. And, and my wife, very generously, because I was like, oh, my. The hand of. My skin of my hands is kind of dry. And she got me some nice lotion, which I proceeded not use. And then recently, my forehead, like, just above where a unibrow would go.

[Jessica Defino]

We're getting a visual of the forehead.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

For you listeners, the listeners at home.

[Josh Gondelman]

I feel like I'm describing it pretty well, though, for they're not like, yeah, you are.

[Emily Kirkpatrick]

You are.

[Jessica Defino]

You're doing great.

[Josh Gondelman]

Thank you. Thank you. And, and it gets a little dry and flaky. So I went, oh, you know, that's a nice time to start lotion. And I get a little razor burn sometimes, and I go, oh, lotion, sure. I don't know if that's what lotion does. I truly am just like, it's kind of a one size fits all thing on my face and a lot of skin, A lot of skin go. And I try to do sunscreen when it's, when I'm, like, outside in the, in the summer and stuff. Even, even when it's not super hot. I know that that's part of it. I don't want to get skin cancer mostly or have an painful burn. So I my question for you because I really appreciate and for both of you, but this is something that Jessica's writing made me think of is like, where do you personally or, like, conceptually think of the line between, like, something that feels kind of, like, helpful, useful, necessary? Like, not necessary, but, like, useful maintenance of your human body versus stuff that's like buying into dewy Donut. Like, eat a baby. Its skin will become your skin.

[Jessica Defino]

Yeah, I love this question because I. And I love the intro to it because I really feel like, dude, normal should just be all normal. Like, I think we could learn a lot from dudes skincare routines.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's right. I am an inspiration.

[Jessica Defino]

You are. You are the blueprint, Josh.

[Josh Gondelman]

That's right.

[Jessica Defino]

But there's always, like, these memes that are like, why do I do, like, 27 step skincare? And I have acne, and my boyfriend uses, like, a two in one shampoo as a face wash. And he's fine. And I'm like, it's because he's doing nothing. It's because he's doing very little. Yeah, that's like, the best thing you could do for your skin.