Summary of "Introducing Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting: 'Should I Talk with My Teens About My Own Mental Health Challenges?'" – The Rich Roll Podcast
Released on March 20, 2025
In this insightful episode of The Rich Roll Podcast, host Rich Roll welcomes Dr. Lisa D'Amore, a renowned clinical psychologist and expert on parenting adolescents, to introduce her podcast, Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting. This episode delves deep into the nuanced conversation surrounding whether parents should discuss their own mental health challenges with their teenage children.
1. Welcoming Dr. Lisa D'Amore
Rich Roll begins by reintroducing Dr. Lisa D'Amore, highlighting her impressive credentials, including her Yale University background, PhD from the University of Michigan, and her status as a three-time New York Times bestselling author with pivotal works like Untangled Under Pressure and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. He emphasizes Lisa's role as a pivotal voice in parenting, especially for parents of tweens and teens.
Rich Roll [00:03]:
"Lisa is a decoder ring, this beacon of light that has helped counsel me through the rollercoaster ride of raising our children into young adults."
2. Collaboration with Pixar
Dr. D'Amore shares her involvement with Pixar, detailing a four-year collaboration aimed at creating a film that accurately represents adolescent mental health. She praises Pixar’s dedication to scientific precision and their commitment to conveying authentic emotional experiences of teenagers.
Dr. Lisa D'Amore [03:18]:
"I was blown away by their devotion to the precision of the science."
She highlights the film’s success, noting it became the highest-grossing animated film of all time and the eighth highest-grossing film overall, underscoring its vast reach and impact on families worldwide.
3. Personal Connections and Impact
The conversation shifts to Dr. D'Amore’s personal connection to the film, as the protagonist mirrors the age of her own daughter. She recounts the joy of touring Pixar with her daughter, which provided a deeper personal resonance to the project.
4. Navigating Parenting Challenges in Turbulent Times
Rich Roll reflects on the complexities of parenting in 2025, amidst political turbulence, environmental disasters like devastating fires, and the pervasive influence of social media. He expresses concern over how these factors contribute to the anxiety and sense of instability experienced by today's youth.
Rich Roll [11:02]:
"What is going on in the mind of that child? I can't help but think they're developing this sense of, A, like, the world is a very unsafe place, and B, like, maybe the adults don't know anything."
5. The Importance of the Parent-Child Relationship
Dr. D'Amore emphasizes the critical role of the parent-child relationship in providing stability and perspective during uncertain times. She acknowledges the challenges adults face in maintaining this stability when they themselves are feeling overwhelmed.
Dr. Lisa D'Amore [12:20]:
"Being a steady presence isn't so easy. We can feel pretty overwrought ourselves."
She advocates for normalizing emotional discomfort, encouraging parents to show that it's acceptable to feel upset without equating these emotions with a mental health crisis.
Dr. Lisa D'Amore [12:20]:
"Allowing for sadness, allowing for worry, allowing for some anxiety without quickly slipping into the idea that that means that everything's awful."
6. Should Parents Share Their Mental Health Challenges?
Rich introduces the central theme of the episode: whether parents should discuss their own mental health challenges with their teenage children. He expresses the delicate balance between fostering transparency and avoiding oversharing that could burden the child.
Rich Roll [14:14]:
"I'm of the generation that has learned over time that transparency is better... but you don't want to kind of overshare to the point where the child feels unsafe."
Dr. D'Amore concurs, outlining key considerations for parents navigating this conversation.
7. Practical Strategies for Parents
Dr. D'Amore provides actionable advice for parents considering sharing their mental health histories with their teens:
a. Choose the Right Moment
Instead of initiating heavy conversations abruptly, parents should look for natural openings where the topic can be introduced organically.
Dr. Lisa D'Amore [16:40]:
"If you have something big and heavy, the time has come that you feel you need to talk about it give your kids some warning and see if they're open to it at that time."
b. Foster Ongoing Conversations
Encouraging casual, ongoing dialogues rather than one-off "talks" ensures the conversation remains comfortable and less daunting for the teenager.
Gifted Conversation Tone:
Rolling up on a teenager with a pre-planned agenda rarely yields positive outcomes. Engaging in continuous, casual discussions is more effective.
c. Respect the Teen’s Autonomy
Allowing teenagers to guide the depth and breadth of the conversation empowers them and prevents them from feeling overwhelmed.
Dr. Lisa D'Amore [35:46]:
"How much do you want to hear? There are things I want to tell you, but let me know how much you want to hear right now."
8. Addressing Specific Mental Health Challenges
The hosts tackle the nuances of discussing specific issues, such as eating disorders and alcoholism, highlighting the importance of conveying these topics without granting permission for similar behaviors.
Dr. Lisa D'Amore [38:44]:
"There's a genetic loading that the kid needs to know about."
She elaborates on the genetic predispositions associated with eating disorders and alcoholism, emphasizing the importance of awareness and prevention.
Dr. Lisa D'Amore [39:53]:
"There's a genetic component to eating disorders... for alcoholism, how much it takes you to feel an effect... how bad the after effects are."
9. Promoting Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Dr. D'Amore underscores the significance of modeling and encouraging healthy coping strategies in teenagers. She highlights that what constitutes healthy coping can differ between adults and teens, advocating for recognition and validation of teens’ unique coping methods.
Dr. Lisa D'Amore [47:54]:
"Healthy coping in teens can look so different from healthy coping in adults."
She provides examples such as engaging in video games, listening to music, physical activities, or even revisiting childhood interests as valid and healthy ways for teens to manage stress.
10. Final Recommendations for Parents
As the conversation concludes, Dr. D'Amore reiterates the paramount importance of centering the teenager's needs during these discussions. She advises parents to ensure that any sharing of personal mental health struggles is done with the intent to support and guide the teen, rather than to unburden themselves.
Dr. Lisa D'Amore [50:38]:
"It has to be about the teenager. It has to be about the kid and what the kid needs."
She emphasizes that parents must be emotionally prepared to have these conversations, ensuring that they do not inadvertently place the burden of their own emotional processing onto their children.
11. Conclusion
Rich Roll wraps up the episode by highlighting the invaluable insights shared by Dr. D'Amore, encouraging listeners to engage in thoughtful, compassionate conversations with their teens about mental health. He underscores the importance of creating a safe and open environment where teenagers feel supported and understood.
This episode serves as a comprehensive guide for parents grappling with the decision to share their mental health histories with their teenage children. Through expert advice and real-world examples, Rich Roll and Dr. Lisa D'Amore provide actionable strategies to navigate these sensitive conversations, fostering healthier and more transparent relationships between parents and their teens.