What does “losing your virginity” actually mean… and why do we still say it like that?

In this episode, Rosie and Roula unpack the language, pressure, and cultural weight behind the concept of virginity. From growing up in completely different environments, they experienced opposite sides of the same issue: one where not having sex was judged, and one where having sex was judged.

They dive into how the word “virgin” is used across cultures and languages, and how it often implies that something is taken, lost, or done to someone — especially women.

Roula shares personal experiences of how virginity was discussed growing up, including the expectations placed on women, the double standards between men and women, and the emotional impact of those conversations.

Rosie questions the language itself: what are we actually “losing”? And why is so much value tied to something that isn’t even a physical object?

They also explore how this ties into bigger themes like ownership of women’s bodies, societal expectations, and how outdated beliefs still show up today in subtle ways.

This episode is honest, uncomfortable at times, and challenges a concept most people have never really questioned.

Topics covered

Why the phrase “losing your virginity” is problematic
Cultural differences and double standards
The pressure placed on young women vs young men
Language, ownership, and agency
Virginity as a social construct
Shame, judgment, and identity
Why it might be time to drop the word entirely

What does the word “virginity” mean to you — and do you think it still has a place in today’s world?

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248: Losing Your Virginity Is Outdated