How To ATTRACT Your Ideal Relationship & Create Healthy, Lasting Love | Danny Morel

Summary

Podcast Summary: The School of Greatness Episode: How To ATTRACT Your Ideal Relationship & Create Healthy, Lasting Love | Danny Morrell
Host: Lewis Howes
Guest: Danny Morrell
Release Date: April 16, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of The School of Greatness, host Lewis Howes engages in a deep and transformative conversation with Danny Morrell. Both seasoned in their personal growth journeys, Howes and Morrell delve into the intricacies of attracting ideal relationships and fostering healthy, lasting love. Drawing from their own experiences and expertise, they offer listeners insightful strategies to unlock their inner greatness in the realm of intimacy and partnership.

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Authenticity in Relationships

A central theme of the discussion revolves around the importance of living authentically in relationships. Both Howes and Morrell emphasize that playing a role or pleasing others leads to internal misalignment, resulting in resentment and burnout.

Danny Morrell (07:01):
"When we are not living in our true authentic self, we are out of alignment with our higher self."

Lewis Howes (23:48):
"If you want to be with someone, you have to accept all of their past. I have to accept all of your past, and you have to accept mine."

This authenticity is portrayed as the foundation for attracting partners who resonate on a deeper, more spiritual level rather than superficial attractions.

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Healing Past Wounds

Both speakers share their personal journeys of healing from past relationships and the wounds that hindered their ability to form healthy connections. Morrell recounts his transformative experience during a psychic session that led him to realize his self-worth and the necessity of self-love.

Danny Morrell (07:17 – 09:00):
"My hand went up and it pointed to God, and I realized I was the one I had been looking for my whole life."

Lewis Howes (48:46 – 49:40):
"I needed to sit with this and really do this work and heal this part of me that's been attracting from a wound."

Their stories underscore the significance of addressing and healing personal wounds to create space for genuine and fulfilling relationships.

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Masculine and Feminine Energy

The dialogue explores the balance of masculine and feminine energies within individuals and how this harmony influences relationships. Morrell passionately discusses how embracing both aspects is crucial for personal growth and attracting the right partner.

Danny Morrell (35:05 – 35:32):
"You all have masculine and feminine parts of you energetically. If we can help the world awaken to this, we can all discover our authentic selves."

This understanding helps in recognizing the complementary nature of energies, fostering healthier and more balanced partnerships.

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Cultural Influences on Relationships

Morrell, coming from a Hispanic background, addresses cultural stereotypes and how they shape relationship dynamics. He challenges traditional norms, advocating for redefining masculinity and femininity beyond cultural constraints.

Danny Morrell (20:07 – 21:00):
"Men are taught as little boys to never tap into their emotions... Women are taught to deal with and live in their authentic truth, not to rely on men."

Lewis Howes (73:43 – 74:01):
"If I want peace and freedom, maybe it doesn't have to look this way that my great grandfather and grandfather and father all did."

This critique highlights the necessity of breaking free from limiting cultural narratives to build healthier, more authentic relationships.

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Personal Stories and Lessons

Throughout the episode, Howes and Morrell provide personal anecdotes that illuminate their points. Morrell shares his transformative encounter during a psychic session and his subsequent healing process, while Howes recounts his journey to accepting himself fully, which enabled him to form a harmonious relationship with his fiancée, Martha.

Danny Morrell (07:17 – 09:00):
"I went on a three and a half journey of healing myself after my divorce and affair."

Lewis Howes (30:08 – 31:03):
"If she can't accept it, then I can't be with her."

These narratives serve as powerful illustrations of the principles discussed, making the advice relatable and actionable for listeners.

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Communication and Setting Boundaries

Effective communication and the establishment of clear boundaries emerge as pivotal elements for sustaining healthy relationships. Both hosts stress the importance of speaking one's truth and creating an environment where both partners feel safe and heard.

Danny Morrell (16:04 – 17:34):
"If you have to keep attracting the same thing because you're holding onto the old wounds, you'll never break the cycle."

Lewis Howes (37:09 – 37:32):
"We need the energy to be able to take on challenges. If I can create a relationship where we can build that together, we can create all the love and abundance that we desire."

This emphasis on honest dialogue and boundary-setting is presented as essential for mutual growth and understanding.

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Notable Quotes with Attribution and Timestamps

• Danny Morrell (07:17):
  "True story. I'm sitting there... and my hand points to God. I realized I was the one I had been looking for my whole life."

• Lewis Howes (23:48):
  "If you want to be with someone, you have to accept all of their past. I have to accept all of your past, and you have to accept mine."

• Danny Morrell (35:05):
  "You all have masculine and feminine parts of you energetically. If we can help the world awaken to this, we can all discover our authentic selves."

• Lewis Howes (37:09):
  "We need the energy to be able to take on challenges. If I can create a relationship where we can build that together, we can create all the love and abundance that we desire."

• Danny Morrell (51:35):
  "Anything that you are in or not in is 100% your creation."

These quotes encapsulate the episode’s core messages, emphasizing self-acceptance, authentic communication, and the interplay of personal energies in relationships.

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Insights and Takeaways

1. Self-Acceptance is Fundamental:
   Embracing one's true self is the cornerstone of attracting genuine love and building lasting partnerships.

2. Healing is an Ongoing Journey:
   Addressing and healing past wounds is crucial for breaking negative relationship patterns and fostering inner peace.

3. Balance of Energies:
   Harmonizing masculine and feminine energies within oneself leads to more balanced and fulfilling relationships.

4. Cultural Awareness:
   Challenging and redefining cultural stereotypes can liberate individuals to form healthier relationship dynamics.

5. Effective Communication and Boundaries:
   Open, honest communication and clear boundaries are essential for mutual respect and understanding in relationships.

6. Personal Responsibility:
   Taking full responsibility for one’s role in relationship dynamics empowers individuals to create positive changes and healthier connections.

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Conclusion

In this enlightening episode, Lewis Howes and Danny Morrell offer a profound exploration of what it takes to attract and sustain ideal relationships. By advocating for authenticity, personal healing, balanced energies, and effective communication, they provide listeners with the tools and insights necessary to cultivate love that is both healthy and enduring. The heartfelt exchange between Howes and Morrell serves as an inspiring guide for anyone seeking to unlock their inner greatness in matters of the heart.

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Additional Resources:

• Danny Morrell’s Podcasts:

  • Higher Self Podcast
  • Finding the One Podcast (co-hosted with his wife)

• Events and Workshops:

  • Visit DannyMorrell.com to learn more about his transformative events and workshops.

• Books and Publications:

  • Explore Danny Morrell’s insights and teachings through his published works available on his website.

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For a full rundown of today's episode with all important links and resources, visit the show notes in the episode description. Subscribe to The School of Greatness on Apple Podcasts or Spotify for weekly inspiring content.

Transcript

[A]

I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy and if you are looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, then make sure to go to make moneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is going to help you transform your relationship with money this moment. Moving forward, we have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and stay tuned to this episode on the School of Greatness. I hope you're having a beautiful day today and if you're not, I want you to reflect on how you can add value to others and also ask myself, where am I out of alignment in my life right now? Where am I in dis ease right now? Where am I struggling or stressed or overwhelmed right now? And am I playing a character? Am I stepping into a role that is not my authentic self? Am I holding back my voice? Am I not courageously speaking up? Am I not creating boundaries? Am I afraid of what people think about me? And so I'm shifting and people pleasing in order to keep the peace in life. The more we people please to try to keep the peace, the more resentful we live inside, the more out of alignment we are with our true authentic self. And it causes resentment, overwhelm, burnout and exhaustion. I have been there and let me tell you, it is exhausting. It's exhausting to play a character that does not support and serve your most authentic self. And when we are not living in our true authentic self, we are out of alignment with our higher self. And when we are out of alignment it is exhausting and we feel like we're getting taken advantage of and people don't understand us and no one's listening to us and we're underappreciated and all these different things. But really we are the ones to set ourselves free. We are the ones that are holding ourselves back because we lack courage or confidence or the skill set or whatever it might be or we're afraid to face the pain, the wounds and heal. And I lived in that space for so many years, my friend. I lived there and I was still a functioning, you know, high achiever. I could still accomplish my goals, I could still get results, I could still make money and accomplish things in business and sports, but I still didn't feel fully me because I was living out of my authentic higher self. And I struggled so much in intimate relationships for decades, decades of suffering because I would shrink my authentic self to please others another and this is not to blame or point fingers at anyone except for myself and to take full responsibility because I lacked the courage out of wounds and out of a lack of healing and out of a lack of wholeness within me. And whether you're struggling to find the one healing from relationship wounds or seeking deeper connection with your current partner, this episode is going to offer game changing insights about masculine and feminine energy, speaking your authentic truths and how the relationship challenges we face are actually our greatest medicine for growth and healing. And I know it doesn't feel good sometimes when we feel trapped or stuck in a relationship, or we feel like we're repeating the same patterns over and over again in different relationships. But why the partner you're seeking might be completely different from what you think you want and how breaking your paradigm may lead to profound love is something that we're going to be talking about and diving into today. And if you're looking to create a truly conscious relationship, it's going to take you having the courage to speak your authentic truth even when it's the scariest and most uncomfortable thing you've ever had to do. And today we've got an episode with Danny Morrell. The first episode we did, people loved it. It went all over the place on the Internet and people got a lot of value out of it. So we're doing another episode and I'm excited for you to learn to reflect, to continue to step into your most authentic power. Because you deserve to feel free inside of you. But you are the only one who has the key to unlock that freedom. So I'm excited for you today. If you enjoy this episode, make sure to share it with a friend. Text a friend and say, hey, let me know your thoughts and feedback on this. Make sure you subscribe over on Apple or Spotify. Wherever you're listening to the show, you can click the Follow button and leave us a review on your biggest takeaway from today's episode on the Review section on Apple or Spotify. I'm so grateful for you. And let's dive into today's episode. The School of Greatness is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance. As Amica says, empathy is our best policy. That's why they'll go above and beyond to tailor your insurance coverage to best fit your needs. Whether you're on the road, at home or traveling along long life's journey, their friendly and knowledgeable representatives will work with you to ensure you have the right coverage in place. Amica will provide you with peace of mind. Go to ameca.com and get a quote Today. Good news. Spring savings are back at the Home Depot. The Home Depot has everything you need for that spring project you spent all winter planning. Save on top brand cordless power like mowers, leaf blowers, trimmers and more that you'll need to get started. And yes, you. You can use the same battery to power them all. And you can find them at the Home Depot. Whether you've got big plans for your backyard or you want to get patio ready with colorful flowers, planters and outdoor lighting, the Home Depot has you covered. Shop Spring savings now at the Home Depot. Every step, every mile, every cause at the Boston Marathon. Presented by bank of America. Thousands of athletes are running for more than time. Some for a cure, others, others for their community. But all of them for a cause that matters. Join bank of America in supporting fundraising athletes. Find a runner, help a cause and give if you [e-mail] helpacause what would you like the power to do? Bank of America? References to charitable organizations are not an endorsement by bank of America Corporation. Copyright 2025. What is the thing that blocked you the most then from having the love you wanted? And what is the thing that blocks most people from having the love they want in intimacy?

[B]

I will tell you. And this has been a deep part of my journey. When I was in my teens, I can remember only thinking about one thing, and that was getting married.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, man.

[A]

You wanted to get married. You didn't want to just have a girlfriend or, like, hook up with girls.

[B]

Or you were just find the one.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I'll tell you why. I was that guy that was like. I just. I wasn't the sleep around kind of guy. Like. And I'm sure I did my thing, but I. But more than anything, I was looking for.

[A]

That wasn't your desire?

[B]

It wasn't my desire. Was. Was this what you're. What you're talking about? Right. And so after I got married and through my divorce and through the affair and through that entire process, I went on a three and a half journey of healing myself.

[A]

How old were you?

[B]

38, 39. Okay, maybe 40. I don't know. And I'll tell you exactly what happened, Louis. Yeah. I'm going to tell you the exact story. So I always thought that my wife was going to be from Colombia. Obviously. Colombian women are beautiful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. And so in that story, I had met someone. I had met someone and I wanted so bad for them to be the one. So bad. I'm sure you've been there as well.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Right. And I was trying to force it, and I was trying to make it happen. And one day, I was speaking to a friend of mine that was a psychic. He had psychic powers. And it was like I was tired of, like, of it not working. And I wanted him to tell me that she's the one.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Right. Like, just. Just tell me. Just tell me. Right?

[A]

Maybe we're supposed to struggle. Maybe.

[B]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. You know, your mind, sometimes it's like the truth is right there, but you're not afraid. You're afraid to look at it, right? And so then he looks at me. He goes, I don't think I need to tell you. I think, you know, true story. I'm sitting there. It was during COVID He's looking at me through zoom, and everything inside of me says, say it, say it, say it. And I said, she's not the one. And, Louis, by that time, we can get into this if you want. I had done enough work with plant medicine to where I understood energy. And the way my body works when it's starting to release energy is. It starts to shake. Yeah. So I immediately start to shake, and I'm having a massive ego death. I did not realize how big it was. So I go, I gotta go. I shut the computer down, and I'm literally on the floor because all of this trapped energy that I now realize was there since I was a little boy and didn't receive my mom's love, which turned into the teenager that wanted to be married because I was looking for love outside of me. Louis. Imagine all of that had been stuck in my body for so long, and it's just starting to shake, and I'm like, I need to go lay down. So I go lay down, man. And I'm finally, admittedly, like, at my wit's end, because it's like, I've tried to make this relationship thing work, and it's just not working. And what is it? What. What's wrong with me, right? And I literally just ask the question. And my body is shaking, and I'm doing all of this, and I'm like, God, just show. Just show me who's the one who's the one. Like, I. Like, at that point, I was. I was like. Like, helpless, basically, right? And my arm literally goes up like this, and it points to God. And then I'm not doing this. This is my. My body is spirits, whatever, you know? And then My hand goes like. And I look down and I'm like, I'm the one I've been looking for my whole life. And, brother, I started to just cry and cry and just release this story that, again, I unconsciously created since I was a boy. And I didn't feel my mom's love.

[A]

And this was not that long ago.

[B]

This was not that long ago.

[A]

And you'd been already on a healing journey, and you'd been coaching people, you'd been helping people. You've been transforming. You've been healed already. You felt, you know, I've been doing the work.

[B]

All of it, man. All of it. Yeah. No, this. This was three years ago.

[A]

Yeah, something like that. But you'd already been teaching this work and.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Like, you'd already been.

[B]

It's a lot, right? Yes, yes.

[A]

And maybe in your mind you thought, like, I've got it figured out in some ways.

[B]

Yeah, 100%.

[A]

That's what I mean.

[B]

100. 100. And so then I'm there and I'm crying. I'm crying, I'm crying. And then all of a sudden, Louis, my. My body again, not me. My body goes. And I. And I lean over to the side and my hand is right there like this. And it's almost as if God was like, okay, now that you got rid of this, just let me show you what's coming. And all I see is a. Is the top of a head. And it was like a light brown hair. It wasn't. It wasn't brunette. It was. Which was what I was used to, light brown. And I just got the message. She will finally feel safe with you.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. A couple months later, I'm in a mushroom journey. And at the end of that journey, it. Is it clear. The message comes to me, and it says, you are about to meet the woman of your dreams, and together you will have a daughter.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And that daughter will be the healing culmination of your heart, your mother's heart, and your grandmother's heart. So I get up and I'm like.

[A]

I'm going to have a daughter.

[B]

I'm going to have a daughter. Right. Brother, I don't know how to explain to you. It was the truest thing I had ever.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And you already have three kids.

[B]

I already have three kids. They're telling me. Right. Two years later, on that very day is with Jen and I. I woke up, it was on my birthday. I was holding a mushroom ceremony on my birthday, which is What I love to do on my birthday is to give back in that way. Two years later, on my birthday, I wake up and Jen is laying there by myself.

[A]

Wow. How long did it take until you met her?

[B]

Right, so what I want to share is if you're out there and you are really looking for your life's partner, I'm gonna tell you everything that I did.

[A]

Okay? Yes.

[B]

Number one, you have to be willing to let go of the parts of yourself that need a partner.

[A]

That's big.

[B]

Because if you need a partner, you're not in your heart, you're in your mind. And I like to call it the difference between a mind mate and a soul mate. And trust me, if you are up here, you will find a mind mate. You will find a partner that energetically matches that frequency, and then you'll be stuck in it. And then you'll be 10 years, 13 years down the road. Like, I was, like, talking about, oh, my God, what do I do now? Right. We'll get to that in a second. That's number one. Number two, if you want to track this, what I'm sharing with you, you also have to be willing to let go of everything that has been causing you to avoid your healing journey. For me, that was two things. Alcohol and sex.

[A]

Wow. Really?

[B]

Yeah. Because it's what I use to stay disconnected from myself. Yeah. Every weekend I used to drink. It's what used to numb my pain.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And so I just. I let it go. I'm not telling you drinking is bad. That's a whole different story. I'm telling you is that for something to be born, something has to die. Don't ever forget that. For something to be born, something has to die. For something new to come, you have to be willing to release the old. This is spiritual, energetic here. This is the real deal.

[A]

And if you're holding on to the old things that have been blocking you in previous relationships and you enter a new relationship from that space, what will happen?

[B]

You're just going to keep attracting the same thing. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It might feel good for a few months of like, oh, this is different.

[B]

Well, it will always feel they're different.

[A]

They're not like this.

[B]

Yes, absolutely. It will always feel like that. Because that's the way human beings and relationships work. Right. You get together and it's. Infatuation is what it is.

[A]

It is, Right.

[B]

I used to think that infatuation was love.

[A]

It's not.

[B]

It's not. No. As a matter of fact, infatuation doesn't. Love doesn't happen until you let go of infatuation and you start to realize, and this is the key, Louis, is that we are calling into our lives the partner that not only reflects where we're at energetically, but. But is the perfect partner that we need in that moment to help us to heal a part of ourselves. Most people that say that they want a relationship, you don't actually want a relationship. You just don't want to be lonely. You want a relationship, a real, soul connected relationship. Get ready to deal with your deepest, darkest sh. Of your life. Because a relationship is the greatest medicine that you can have in your life. Because I'll give you an example. Example. You're either going to keep doing this or what someone is going to have to allow. Release, surrender, let go. And then hopefully the other person does the same thing. And that's the thing, Louis, is that I don't think people really know what they're asking for when they ask for a relationship.

[A]

Yeah. Because your life changes forever when you're in a relationship. It transforms.

[B]

How did yours. Because I know you're in one now.

[A]

Well, I mean, it changed in all the previous relationships. My life. I thought I was getting the relationship to create love, but I think it was more of, like, chemical reactions. Right. It was just like, oh, this chemical bonding. And I didn't have the courage to use my voices to create boundaries or to say really what I wanted or what I didn't like. But I just, like, gave in to create peace because I didn't have peace in my life. So I would do whatever so that they would stop screaming.

[B]

That was me.

[A]

That was it. It was like, okay, if you're gonna scream, you don't like something about me.

[B]

I want, by the way, you like Latinas, Right? Right. So then screaming is part of history.

[A]

Well, I had to break the model, too, because I found one that doesn't scream.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Good. So I had to tell myself a different story.

[B]

By the way, don't hate me. It's a joke.

[A]

Let's find out. Relax. But that's the stereotype, because it's. It's a. You know, you see it a lot.

[B]

But can I tell you why?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's from a lot of wounding, of course. A lot of wounds. Yeah.

[A]

And a lot of the. You know, a lot of parents, a lot of men. Fathers aren't there for the women. They're for the dirt, the girls. And then they grow up very wounded. And then they're masculine.

[B]

That's right. And very beautiful. Very. Yes.

[A]

Yes, and seductive, but also kind of very well.

[B]

Why seductive?

[A]

Because they want to attract.

[B]

Because that's the wounded feminine. The wounded feminine uses seduction to get you.

[A]

Yeah. To lure you in.

[B]

Right, the, the. The divine feminine.

[A]

Yeah. They don't need that. She's in, she's in her power.

[B]

She's in her power.

[A]

Yeah. She's an ego.

[B]

Would they use that? No, she knows who she is.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Yeah. And then, and then talking about our culture. Right. Why do the men drink so much? Because the men are wounded. Because the men were taught as little boys to never tap into their emotions. Because it's a Hispanic, macho, masculine thing. It's bull is what it is. And then by the way, guess why else they're women? Because the women are taught, the mothers are taught that they have to. Latinas, you just have to deal with it because that's how men are. So then the woman get taught to not deal with and live in their authentic truth. And then you're there. I know grandmothers. My grandfather Louis, My grandfather had 13 kids from seven different.

[A]

Oh my gosh. Why is that?

[B]

Because he was, he was wounded. He was a mess. God, God bless him. He's gone.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And then, and then my family like honored and revered that. Really? Oh, yeah. Because that's, that's. He's, he's the, he's the patriarch.

[A]

Seven different women or kids.

[B]

I remember my high school graduation. I remember it was my grandfather and like I had like my cousin's grandmother, my cousin's grandmother, my cousin's grandmother and my. Now it was just, all just there and everybody just got along.

[A]

They got along.

[B]

It's just how you do life is how.

[A]

We didn't get along or was it just.

[B]

Yeah, they really all got along.

[A]

But they all loved him or hated him.

[B]

Why? I don't know, bro.

[A]

I don't know. All I know, it looked like they got along well.

[B]

All I know is that for me that just didn't feel right.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It just didn't feel right, you know? And I saw my poor grandmother. I love her. Like she was just so self sacrificing for the sake of the family.

[A]

She didn't use her voice. No, she did. Maybe it was a screaming or like whatever. Do this she.

[B]

Hispanic women show love through food.

[A]

Yeah, they do. Some do. Yeah, some do. Are you ready to level up your business intuit? QuickBooks has got your back. Forget stressing over unpaid invoices or tracking expenses. QuickBooks takes care of all that so you can focus on growing. Let QuickBooks be your all in one tool to help with the day to day tasks so you can stay focused on the big picture. Manage and grow your business all in one place. Intuit QuickBooks your way to money. Money movement services are provided by Intuit Payments Inc. Licensed as a money transmitter by the New York State Department of Financial Services. As a loyal listener of this show, you're always challenging yourself to grow, to be better, to keep learning. And Southern New Hampshire University can help. Southern New Hampshire University offers over 200 career focused degree programs online. Plus, Southern New Hampshire University has some of the lowest online tuition rates in the US So balancing school, work and life actually feels achievable and affordable too. Find your degree at snhu Edu Greatness. That's S N H U Edu Greatness. Westin Hotels and Resorts are designed with your well being in mind. With more than 200 destinations around the world, Westin Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling. And if there's one thing I've learned from being on the go all the time, it's how it is to prioritize quality sleep no matter where you are. With signature amenities and offerings that help you move well, eat well and sleep well, Weston Hotels makes travel an opportunity to enhance your well being. Look forward to the rest with restorative sleep in Westin's iconic Heavenly bed. Find wellness at Weston, one of 30 extraordinary hotel brands in the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio.

[B]

So anyways, anyways.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So I got into, you know, I was into relationships based on chemical attraction, not spiritual connection.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And out of a wound of like, wanted to be loved by this person or like whatever. And that seemed to work out for three to six or nine months. But then it was like things would start unraveling and then I would get out of the relationship eventually and then kind of just repeat the pattern.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was sad. It sucked, man. It was horrible. It was not good. And I would always look for love in a different person or like, okay, maybe they're actually going to respect, you know, or not scream at me or they're going to accept who I am as a person or my career. My, you know, they're going to accept me finally. But no one ever did.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think I didn't accept who I was. And so it wasn't until I learned to accept me and choose me.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

That then I was able to see, you know, Martha, my fiance now in a way where she always says to me this she's always like, I wish we'd have met each other 10 years ago, 15 years ago. So we both moved to LA around the same time, but we never met each other. I'm like, I wouldn't have been attracted to you. Like, you weren't wounded enough for me, you know? It's like, I wouldn't have been attracted to you. You were like, you were too. Not too good for me, but you were. It's not the energy I was attracted to from a wound.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And so I would have, like, seen you. And I'm sure I would have been sexually attracted in some ways, but I wouldn't have been like, I desire you.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I want you.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because you'd have been too loving. I don't know. You'd have been too loving. You know what I mean? It's like. And too accepting.

[B]

Yeah, man.

[A]

And I wouldn't have been ready for that.

[B]

I get that. You know, Can I tell you what's interesting? Let me tell you what my story was, because when I saw Jen, I didn't think I was worthy of her.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So Jen is 5 foot 10. Let's start there.

[A]

Yeah. You're a short king, huh?

[B]

I'm a short guy. I'm five, eight.

[A]

Short king, right?

[B]

That's right. So listen, and I'll let you know. She's five'ten she's five'ten with heels. She's towering. Right. And she's gorgeous. She's just this long, blonde, right. British. I never in my life thought. But let. But let me.

[A]

And this is specifically Spanish. No, no Spanish. No.

[B]

No Spanish at all. No, but. But I have to share. This is so wonderful because a lot of times what you're looking for is not what your soul needs. So you see, number one, she was taller than me. So, like, go back to the Hispanic machism. That's all that's keeping you from your heart.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

So it's like God goes, okay, you're ready here. Let's deal with that. Let's have you feel what it feels like to be with a woman that's taller than you.

[A]

And can you still step into your masculine.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

This is what I'm telling.

[A]

Not cower.

[B]

Yes. This is what I'm telling you guys. Relationships are the greatest medicine of your life. Here we go. You ready? Number two. She's white.

[A]

She's not Latina.

[B]

She's not Latina. So as a minority, which. There is no such thing as minority. That's a programming from the 3D world, you are taught as a little boy and little girl that like white people are different or better or, you know, whatever it is. So I had to deal with that.

[A]

Or racist or whatever.

[B]

Or whatever it is, whatever the story is, I had to deal with that. Right. I had to deal with being accepted by a different culture. Right. Number three, she's younger than me. She's younger than me. So I had to deal with the fact that the world wasn't gonna like this. The world was gonna get mad.

[A]

Why. But most men are usually with younger women, right?

[B]

Well, I don't know. All I know is that whenever I post a picture of Jen and I.

[A]

Because you're divorced, is what you're saying.

[B]

Well, that's another thing. Can I, can I be honest with you? Don't hate me. I'm just telling the truth. But the background.

[A]

He left his wife for a younger beautiful.

[B]

Which there was a three year. I didn't even know her when I got. It was done.

[A]

Of course he's going to go and, but the story.

[B]

And can I tell you the, the number one people who I got the most backlash from were Hispanic women.

[A]

What did they, what did they say?

[B]

Well, think about what, Think, think about what 5 foot 10 you left us. Blah. Does for that program that wounding that you see, because when you love yourself for exactly who you are, you don't give a what somebody else does.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You don't care. Right? So all it is, right? It's just mirrors that are being reflected back to you that are causing you to feel a certain way. And then you go on Instagram and your ego and that's what instead of, whoa, wait a minute. Why is this making me feel this way? And then number three, I had three boys. So I had to somehow get a taller, drop dead gorgeous, beautiful blonde, younger who lives halfway across the world to somehow fall in love with me. Talk about, like going into the essence of himself. It was the greatest medicine of my life.

[A]

Wow, that's interesting. It's interesting because when I think about Martha, there's a lot of. Not a lot of things, but there's a few things that I never thought I would be in a relationship with a woman who has some experiences like her. One is, I never thought I'd be with an actress who does like, kissing scenes with the guys. Right?

[B]

Whoa. How is that?

[A]

It's okay now.

[B]

Okay. How was it? That would be. That would be hard.

[A]

Well, here's the thing. There's some things I'll tell you more off camera that are more there's some stuff I can't share right now, but sure, sure. I remember watching some of her older movies after we started dating for a while. I was like, oh, shoot, I should probably watch some of these. I didn't know if I wanted to watch them or she's like, kissing guys.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And I remember noticed me just clearing my throat as I'm speaking, right. It's like, okay, you got to speak your truth.

[B]

This is good.

[A]

And I remember seeing it. I'm gonna be like, okay, I know she's gonna kiss someone in this movie. Let me watch this and see how I feel. My energy. And I was watching it, and it wasn't bad. I wasn't like. Cause it was also, like, before me. And I was like, okay. And it wasn't like a sex scene. It was just a kissing scene or whatever. So I was like, that's interesting. But I also have to. If I'm gonna choose to be with someone, I have to accept the life they've lived in the past. I can't make them wrong for that. That's the wounded self.

[B]

This. Right.

[A]

I can't believe you dated this person. I can't believe you kissed. You can't make someone wrong from their past. Because she can make me wrong for a lot of my past.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And I didn't want that.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

So I'm like, if I want to be with someone, I have to accept all their past. I mean, we don't have to like it. I want to say, yay, that's awesome, but I don't. I have to accept it.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

So I chose to accept it. And then I watched a few more, and I was like, okay, maybe I still need to watch this.

[B]

These.

[A]

You know, it's like, okay, now that we're, like, getting deeper in a relationship, I. I had to make a. I had to make a choice before we got committed. Right. So we were just dating, and then we got comm. In a committed, exclusive relationship.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was that. Literally that day, I said, listen, if this is the path that you really want to do, if you want to continue acting and kissing right. In the future in movies. And those are movies that you want to choose because you feel aligned to them energetically. And there's a kissing scene. Cool. I'm going to accept it because this is who you've been, and I can't ask you to change who you are. And so I told her, I'm going to choose to accept you for what Your, your mission is in your life. And you're an actor. You've been acting and producing for 20 plus years. You've done 40 movies. She's like the Queen of Mexico. Like all these different things. I would just ask that if this happens in the future, we talk about it and we just make sure we're in alignment. That's it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That I'm in the conversation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I get to share with you if I have any concerns.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she was like 100%. So I feel really good about it from that space.

[B]

Watch this. I want you guys to pay attention. You see, there's medicine in everything if you allow it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because pay attention to how the only reason that you were ready to accept this part of her was when you first learned to accept yourself 100%. You can never offer the past.

[A]

I didn't stop judging the past.

[B]

That's right. You can never offer to someone else what you don't have with yourself first. And that's the, that's one of the greatest lessons that I could. Like whenever you are judging your partner, whenever you are in a place where you're telling you're where you're. I can't wait for my partner to change. They're like, what if they, you know, again, I go, you know, all men are. All men are dogs. Right. Always go back to self. Which takes a lot of courage. I know. But always ask yourself, wait a minute, hang on a second. What is it that I am afraid of changing or healing within myself that has me in a relationship where I'm constantly waiting for something else to change?

[A]

Yes. Yeah. And so there was, that was one thing was like, okay, I never thought I would date an actress. Being in la, you grew up kind of in this area. You lived in this area for a while, maybe that like, the thought of like, oh, a celebrity actress would be kind of fun. Cool. Right? But I never heard. Heard good stories. And I'm sure there's great actresses out there, but I just like the stereotypical. Like, they're all about themselves. They're egotistical. It's like they're dramatic, whatever it might be. And I was like, I don't want that. Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I ultimately attracted that in other ways anyways. So I was like, I never thought I would date an actress and she's an actress. And so I. Okay, let's try this out. Let's do this. I dove into it. I never thought I would be with someone who'd been married before. She's been Married and divorced. It was like a very quick, like, nine month, or it happened quickly that she, you know, kind of woke up right afterwards, and it wasn't the right thing. I never thought I would be with someone like that. So I had to face that within me. Like, okay, she's already experienced this. I haven't. How do I feel about that? I had to navigate that.

[B]

And what am I. What. What does that mean to me? Or what am I making it mean?

[A]

Yeah. And I didn't like it. I had some, like, issues with it early on, kind of initially, but then I was like, okay, what is. What is it I truly want? What is my vision for a beautiful, healthy, conscious relationship? And maybe this is perfect for me. You know, it's like, maybe it's perfect for me. And also, I don't think I've ever been with a woman who has fully appreciated and loved me the way I've wanted to be loved and appreciated. And I think because of all of her past relationship experiences, she sees me and she's so grateful for what I contribute to the relationship. And so had she not experienced those things that I don't like, maybe I wouldn't have what I want.

[B]

Bingo.

[A]

And so I learned to be like, okay, I've had to learn how to accept that. Right. And choose to be grateful for it. Right. And really appreciate it, because it's creating something that I want in my life. The third thing, which I never thought I would do, it kind of broke my paradigm is being with someone older than me. She's not that much older, but it's like, I've always dated, like, three, five, seven years younger than me. Right. And, you know, I've had to break that paradigm. Okay? She's only. I don't know, it's like six months or maybe it's a year or something like that, six or nine months. But I've had to break that paradigm and be like, God, she's got so much more wisdom, patience, love than any younger woman I've ever been with. And if I want peace, she's got it. She is peace.

[B]

This is it.

[A]

This is it. I'm not saying you can't find that with a younger woman, but I wasn't able to find that.

[B]

I think what we're both saying for the listener, I want you guys to really pay attention to how both. Both of us, the partner that we found, made us deal with and look at parts of ourselves that maybe we haven't looked at or been wanting to deal with. Like, for me, it was Scary, bro. It brought me to the core of. And this is why I think I speak so much about masculine feminine. Because honestly, I was masculine in some ways, but in many ways I wasn't 100%. I wasn't.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

Straight up.

[A]

Me too straight up.

[B]

Right. And this is why I get so passionate about it. Because it's like, if we can help the world awaken to this. Right. That all of you, whether you're a woman or a man, you all have masculine and feminine parts of you. Energetically. I called in the perfect partner. Like, it seems you did. Right. To heal those parts of you, like maybe where you judged yourself in the past.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Right.

[A]

She accepts my past. It's crazy. I'm like, I never could accept them before. I was always in shame.

[B]

Yes. And trip out on this.

[A]

And I'd always be like. I would tell her and be waiting for a reaction. And she was like, okay.

[B]

It's okay.

[A]

I was like, what? Every other person, like, freaked out on me, Lewis.

[B]

For me, it was my body. So, like, for me, like, if I. If I have too many carbs, like, you know, like little. Little chubby Danny comes back and I would wait and I would look at. Jen loves me. Exactly who I am, how I am, you know?

[A]

How. So you don't have to feel ashamed.

[B]

I don't have to feel anything. I'm free.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It's just beautiful, man.

[A]

That's amazing. Yeah. And what I realized is, like, these few things that maybe I never thought I would be in a relationship if someone had these things or whatever. What I was really doing the work and healing on before meeting her was what I really want alignment with. For my soulmate or my partner to be is someone who's in alignment on values, vision and lifestyle. Because those three things were always off in previous relationships and it created so much friction. And I said, if I can be with someone where I accept myself fully, they accept themselves fully. And we accept each other's missions in life separate of us fully.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And we can find alignment. Not perfection, but alignment on our values for where we are and where we want to be. Our vision for where we are, where we want to be and our lifestyle. We have a similar lifestyle, needs and desires. And if we can learn to communicate and create agreements on what works and what doesn't work. So we minimize dis. Ease and discomfort.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Because life is going to bring us challenges.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

But we don't need to be out of agreement and alignment.

[B]

Adding on to it. Right.

[A]

We need the energy to be able to take on challenge.

[B]

All right?

[A]

That's right. And if I can create a relationship with someone where we can build that together, we can create all the love and abundance that we want and we desire together.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

And I've just never felt this much peace and abundance internally, not necessarily externally, although it's there, but just the feeling of gratitude and love and abundance for having all that.

[B]

Well, hang on, Louis. Do you remember how we started? We said life, when you heal, is a reflection of the inside.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So when you feel peace, love and abundance inside, guess what? You attract a partner that mirrors that frequency. So then it's all about, guys, please listen to me. What is in your life that is robbing you of peace, love and abundance? You know, sometimes I've had to work with some of my clients that it's their mother. Oh yeah, like the mom shows up drunk, as abusive, is judgmental. It's the father. I made a quote the other day and it said, don't allow the family you came from to ruin the family you're creating. And this is a message to the men out there, like a lot of men out there. You have like some of these manipulative parents.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Who by the way, are doing it because it's their form of loving you. It's just a wounded form of love. Right. If you allow that to take priority over your wife, you're never going to have freedom. You're going to have to find, remember the courage to speak up to your family, Great boundaries. Right. And realize that my family, family is from me down. That means me, my partner, my kids, man.

[A]

And that's. When you come from a Hispanic culture, it's hello brother. Everything is, everything is above is the family. And they get intertwined. That's right, we all take supplements, or at least we know we should. But why are so many supplement companies charging ridiculous prices for products that really aren't that special? It's frustrating and frankly unacceptable. Livegood is a brand that believes everyone deserves access to high quality supplements without the insane markups. They offer premium products formulated by an industry leading team of natural health experts at the lowest prices anywhere. Livegood also has collagen, weight loss products, protein powder, skin care products and more. All high quality products at prices people can actually afford. And I've been trying their organic super greens and loving it. It helps fill in the gaps when I'm not eating enough fruits and veggies and keeps up my energy. I just mix a scoop into my smoothie or water every day. And it's been super easy to add my routine and I feel great. Ready to start saving? Just go to livegood.com greatness to save 10% on your first order. That's livegood.com greatness. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Now we invest in gym memberships and healthy food to take care of our bodies. But what about our minds? Therapy might feel like a big investment, but your mental fitness is just as essential as your physical health. And let's talk numbers. Traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from $100 to $250 per session, which adds up fast. But BetterHelp online therapy, you can save on average up to 50% per session. With better help, you pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you big on costs and on time. Therapy should feel accessible, not like a luxury. With online therapy, you get quality care at a price that makes sense. Your mental health is worth it, and now it's within reach. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. It's convenient too. You can join a session with the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus switch therapists at any time. Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com Louis to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. H E L p.com Lewis and a lot of it. I mean, maybe this is true in different cultures as well, but a lot of like Hispanic people live with their parents or their grandparents until they're much.

[B]

Older, you know, which research shows there's like, there's like beauty in that because, you know, but, but it, but it's like, just understand that there's a, there's a, there's a cost.

[A]

The price you pay for everything. There's a reward and there's a price.

[B]

That's right. That's right.

[A]

Yeah. There is beauty to it also.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, more in the western tradition, it's like, okay, you're out at 18 and then go. You're separate from your parents, so your grandparents. And you never see them until they're in like the hospital when they're about to die.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's an extreme. The other way as well. Yeah. Hyper independence.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, and I think there's a beauty to having a, you know, and in the middle somewhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You have this seven signs on, on how you found your soulmate or not. I don't know if you remember These seven signs, I'll read them out.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You're from a social media post. These are the seven signs you have found your soulmate. One is deep connection and understanding. Two is effortless communication, which I want to dive in deeper on that. Three is emotional safety and trust. Four is alignment and values. Five is feeling at home together. Six is mutual growth and support. And seven is magnetic attraction. These are the seven signs that you found your soulmate.

[B]

I mean, heck, yeah. Like, I'm up for that.

[A]

Yeah, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Most people, I feel like, don't have any of those. And they stay in a relationship. They get in a relationship because they find some type of chemical attraction.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Sexual attraction or the sex is great or we have this energy. It just feels electric.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But they lack deep connection, understanding.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Communication is actually chaotic. It's not effortless.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They don't feel safe. They feel anxious, actually, which kind of creates that chemical explosion. They don't feel trust because they're checking their phone or the other person or they're asking them, where'd you go? They don't have that trust. They actually haven't talked about alignment on values. Like, what do you actually value? They might think they know, but they don't know. They don't feel at home. Maybe they do right after they have sex, but other than that, they don't feel safe emotionally at home. They're actually not encouraging each other to grow. And they haven't found out if this person's on a growth trajectory or not.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Maybe they do have magnetic attraction, but it's not magnetic spiritual attraction. And I think that might be the caveat. Magnetic spiritual attraction to know that you've got your soulmate. Why do you think so many people struggle from creating that and asking about all these things within the partner?

[B]

Everything you just described is the outcome of fear. And when I say fear. You ever heard of Maya Angelou's poem, the greatest fear we have is not that we are inadequate, but it's that we are like. I'm gonna butcher.

[A]

I think it's Mandela, actually, originally.

[B]

Is that what it is?

[A]

Mandela originally? Yeah.

[B]

Essentially what it says is the greatest spirit is that we are like we're the one. We're as powerful as can be. Right. And so this all, remember it all. I feel like a broken record sometimes, but it all comes back to whatever you're experiencing on the outside is just a match for how you're living on the inside. So all of that is correct? Absolutely. I lived it. You lived it, and we can all go back and look at the fact that all of us in some way, shape or form, had the frequency of fear inside of us. Fear of speaking my truth. Fear of being seen. Fear of being accepted for who I am. Fear. Right. When you decide. Because this is what I decided, Louis. After 13 years of being married, right? Which I'm grateful for to this day. I love her, I support her, I provide for her. My dream actually has finally come true. We are, we're all like, everyone is cool. Like, everything is great right now, right? But I, I, I had to come to a realization and I said, okay, I know what it feels like to not have peace. Yeah, right?

[A]

Not fun.

[B]

Not fun at all, man. Not fun at all. Because when you don't have peace in your life, that lack of peace shows up. Listen to me. In your money, literally. The lack of peace that you have within attracts clients, partners, careers that will give you more lack of peace because you're the one creating it, right? And so it shows up in every facet of life. So, Louis, I said to myself, if I'm going to be with anyone, my number one priority is peace.

[A]

I know. So key man, that was, that was my thing, too. That, yeah, my three things is funny because four. Is it four? Four and a half years ago, I started healing within a previous relationship because I wanted to get out. But the therapist that I just started working with, she was like, you can get out and run away, but you're probably going to attract and recreate this again unless you heal within it, which.

[B]

Was our previous conversation.

[A]

Start the journey of healing and diving all into the relationship, like, and creating the boundaries and speaking up and doing all the things you've been afraid to do because you get a reaction from the other person. And how can, if you could sit in the fire and actually own your power and own your voice, and if she runs away, if she screams, if she says, like, okay, it is what it is, but I'm going to stand up for me. I'm going to be there for the little boy in me that never got to speak up.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

When I started to do that, it was probably like a six month journey of doing this. And it was a freaking nightmare we were living together. I would, you know, create a boundary. Loving and consciously, calmly, and then screaming and go the other. And the silent treatment for days and the whole thing, right? And I had to learn how to sit with it. Person that you're pouring into is giving you the silent treatment for days, blaming you, making you wrong for not giving in to what they want. Right. I had to learn to say, okay, you do you. I'm going to be okay. I'm safe. I'm creating my own home. Right.

[B]

Which is very healthy masculine energy, by the way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Very healthy masculine energy. And by the way, that is wounded feminine energy.

[A]

And I could see it. Yeah, that's right.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And I was like, okay, she's in her process. I'm gonna let her be her thing. And it's not what I want. This isn't what I want. It's not my vision. Right. But I'm gonna keep processing this and keep stepping up for me in this process from a conscious loving way. And everything I said to the therapist that I was working with was she asked me, what do you want? And I said, I want three things. I knew right away. My body just spoke it. I want peace, clarity, and freedom. Because I didn't feel like I had any of it in the relationship. Peace, clarity, and freedom. That was the whole thing I wanted.

[B]

Right. Can you pause right there?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Do you guys remember what I told you, I said at the very beginning, or maybe in the previous episode, that if you could finally look at everything that has been in your life and accept it and thank it because it will be the greatest teacher and give you the greatest gift of your life when you finally allow yourself to do it. Literally, you going through that relationship showed you what you no longer wanted. Showed you what you wanted. And attracted. Attracted your new fiance.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It was beautiful. But if I had a. If I would have run away and kind of gone into my old pattern, I'd be like, okay, I'm just gonna be single for a while and then go have fun and then get in the next relationship where I feel something. It would just kept repeating it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I really was just like, okay, I need to sit with this and really do this work and heal this part of me that's been attracting from a wound.

[B]

That's right. Yeah.

[A]

Because I felt like I was doing better. I was healing over the last 10 years in other areas of my life, but I still, in intimacy, struggled. Sounds like something you did too.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And so when I in the. In the dating phase with Martha, I was just like, I need to do everything different than what I did before and how I attracted and how I got into a relationship. And that was be a 100% authentically myself, say 100% the truth, not, like, hide a little bit of things where I think maybe they're going to explode. I was just like, this is what I've done in my past. This is who I am. This is what I want in my future. Just like all of it. If she can't accept it, then I can't be with her.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And I had to accept all of her stuff too. Everything from her past. And if I can't accept it, I shouldn't be with her.

[B]

It's simple.

[A]

I shouldn't be with you.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

I can't blame you for something you already did.

[B]

And that's why whenever I deal with couples who like the one has cheated, it's either you're going to accept it, go into it and heal it. And by the way, understand that if they cheated, you co created that.

[A]

Yeah. Which no one wants to hear.

[B]

No one wants to hear.

[A]

You're the victim. People are gonna say, well, I didn't do that.

[B]

Listen to me. They cheated for a reason. So that you could heal part of you that attracted someone that was going to cheat. Period. End of story.

[A]

I know, but people don't like hearing that.

[B]

It's the truth.

[A]

I understand it's the truth, but people don't like hearing it. Yeah, people are gonna be really frustrated because a lot of people have been watching or listening who've been cheated. And they said, I did nothing wrong. I gave to this man, I gave to this woman everything. I gave her all my money, I gave her all my love, my support. I gave, raised the kids. I did everything. And they cheated, Right? Screw them. It's their fault. I'm not to blame. What are you talking about?

[B]

Danny, I can guarantee you there was a part of you that wasn't in your power, that wasn't in your authenticity.

[A]

But that's not my fault. They cheated 100%.

[B]

Anything that you are in or not in is 100% your creation. 100%.

[A]

They're not gonna like hearing that.

[B]

It's the truth.

[A]

But they gave everything and they still cheated. They tried everything and they still cheated.

[B]

Maybe they gave too much. So much so that they didn't honor themselves. There's always a reason. There's always a reason.

[A]

So I gave so much love. Should I stop giving all my love? I'm gonna block my love.

[B]

Hang on. Because. Let's talk about this. Because what is cheating? Cheating is you being with someone else without telling the person, without consent.

[A]

That's it. Yes. Yes.

[B]

Because I know throuples for. I know open relationships. I know as long as you have consent, it's not cheating. Yes, Right. So hang on a second. So then your partner had some sort of hidden desire that they didn't feel comfortable sharing with you. Why didn't they feel comfortable sharing them with you? Maybe, just maybe, could you have not provided a comfortable and open space where they could share everything? Maybe. Maybe.

[A]

I'm going to be devil's advocate here. What if. Okay, sure, I provided a safe space for them to talk, but they still cheated. They still went with their temptations, their pleasures, the desires, and they didn't commit to the relationship. They let all the temptation and our relationship go out the window for outside pleasure.

[B]

Well, then just stay there and watch it happen again.

[A]

I know. Yeah, yeah. Or I hear what you're saying.

[B]

I know, I know, I know. By the way, this is. I only speak of the things that I. I cheated. I had an affair, Louis. I was that guy that. When, like, all of the husbands were going on a guy's trip, the wives would only allow their husbands to go if Danny was going.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Because I was Mr. Goody Two Shoes. Because I wanted to create this facade that I had it all together and deep inside, it was all a lie.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

It was all a lie, man. So I created it. Yeah. And by the way, so did my ex. And I know she may not want to hear that, but we couldn't speak about this stuff. We couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't even share the truth as to why I forgot the milk at the grocery store, let alone that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If I forgot the milk at the grocery store, I would get my balls chopped off. Are you kidding me? I would never hear the end of it. And then if I said the. Did you just say the? It was like a. It was like a. There was nothing I could do.

[A]

You're wrong. No matter.

[B]

I'm wrong no matter what.

[A]

Yeah. It's exhausting.

[B]

So tell me something.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If that's how. That's how you react.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What do you think? What do you.

[A]

What do you. What do you.

[B]

What do you think? And. And people used to tell me all the time, people used to say, you know, everyone makes mistakes. Because, trust me, man, I dealt with the guilt of that. That was a very deep, dark journey.

[A]

You got to live with that.

[B]

I lived with it, you know, and I don't wish that on anybody. I really don't, because I am aware of the pain that it caused. But, you know, ultimately, what both of us discovered, like, we were trying to hold on to each other for all the wrong reasons. There wasn't real love. There was just the facade. And so like when I look back, it's like it wasn't a mistake. It was, it was like it was the, the key that unlocked both of us from the cage.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like if you could really allow yourself to look at things from like, from like a different perspective, like that's where.

[A]

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[B]

Being able to speak your authentic truth period in the story and as a.

[A]

Lack of speaking your authentic truth coming.

[B]

From a wounded self, it's, it's coming from. There's an energy within you from a. From a spiritual, energetic perspective. Your throat chakra is blocked. You had an experience as a little boy or as a little girl where you weren't seen or accepted for your truth. And your mother or your father told you that your voice in some way, shape or form, because this is how this all happens. And then you attract someone from that wounding. And then both of you never share your truth. Or when you finally do, it comes out in anger because that's the other side of the wounding, basically. And then when it comes out like that, there's no reflection. Like, don't get me wrong. Me and Jen, we get into our situations, but we always, like, here, I'm going to leave you like this. If you get this, you'll heal your relationship. But this takes immense amount of courage. From this day forward, everything that happens in your relationship, every argument, every disagreement, everything that goes wrong, if you are ready to heal your relationship, here's what I want you to do. Make it your fault.

[A]

Everything.

[B]

Everything. What's that book that Jocko wrote? Something Discipline and power. Responsibility. Something. Responsibility.

[A]

There's something about like discipline equals freedom. I think it's more.

[B]

Yeah, but there was one he wrote about something like responsibility. Accept 100% responsibility. And you know what I started realizing? I started realizing that everything that I would blame Jen for, like secretly there was something I did. Maybe it was the energy in which I came to the conversation.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But maybe it was the fact that I wanted to get into an argument with her. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't share my truth, whatever it was. And when you can learn to accept ownership and responsibility for everything, here's what you do. Then you communicate it. And you say, you say, baby, I realized that the way I showed up was wrong. I wasn't being authentic or, you know, the energy in which I was speaking from it was manipulative. And I'm sorry. And I'm not aware of why I did that, but I can see it's a pattern that has been showing up in my life for so long because that's what started happening, man. Here's my dream woman. And she would start saying the exact same thing that my ex would say about me. So it's either they're crazy or I'm crazy. Right. And once I realized I was the crazy one, well, then I got to go into it.

[A]

Wow. What was your current wife saying that your previous wife used to say.

[B]

Yeah. They would both say, but, Danny, you don't understand. It's the energy in which you say it from. And I'd be like, no, I'm being nice and I'm. So then I was the energy. Yeah, I was like. I was coming into this with a charge.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Right. I was coming into it expecting to not be heard. So of course they're not going to hear me. So who created it?

[A]

Yeah. Me. Yeah. What are women getting wrong in the Western world today with choosing a certain type of men?

[B]

Well, I don't want to say that they're getting it wrong.

[A]

What is creating more pain than peace?

[B]

The greatest pain that is being created inside the life of women today is that they have been taught several things that are keeping them disconnected from love. Number one, they're in a competition with other women. They need to realize that other women are their sisters. And whenever they're in competition with other women, they're actually in competition with themselves. Whenever they judge other women, they're actually judging themselves. The second thing that is keeping women from their heart is women have been taught that their value is on the outside. And so women, and I say this lovingly, but women are so preoccupied with changing, adding, removing their outside. And the message that I think love has for them is that they are perfect exactly the way they are, and there's a reason why they were born the way that they were born. And the moment that they start to cherish and honor and accept themselves for who they are and not change, to conform to what society wants of them or for what a man wants of them, they'll be in their power. And from that power, they will attract, guess what? A man that is also in love with himself for who he is. Right. And the third thing that I think is keeping women from the love they truly desire is that they will not allow a man to fully love them, protect them, and provide for them, because they have been the man in their life. They have been the masculine in the life. And the only way, the only way for a man, a masculine man, a safe man, a loving man, to come into your life is if you stop being the man in your life.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. I don't think women like hearing that, though.

[B]

Women don't like hearing that, but women love hearing.

[A]

Why is it so hard for women to allow a man to Love them, protect them and provide for them.

[B]

Because the man that was supposed to protect them, love them and provide for them didn't. He broke their hearts. He wasn't there for them. And he taught them that trusting and leaning on and counting on a man was the last thing they should ever do in their life. It's a father wound or it could be a mother wound. And where they saw their mother be defenseless with their father and they told themselves, I will never be that ever again.

[A]

What is the mind to oh women to be more in their protector provider mode and maybe telling men to be less in their protector provider mode. What seems to look like in society more than ever before right now? Why is that happening?

[B]

Because the energy of society is. It's a fear consciousness. I'm going to be very gentle with this, but let's just look at the recent election. Okay, let's talk about fear and victim energy. By the way, I didn't vote, so I'm not. Not. I have no fight in this game.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because I decided a couple years ago that the game of politics is actually the game of separation.

[A]

It's a losing game.

[B]

It's a losing game. It's a game of pitting one against the other. So. So watch this.

[A]

Someone loses, someone loses. Half the country loses. Half the world lose or whatever it is.

[B]

And by the way, someone's right and someone's wrong.

[A]

Yeah. And when someone's right and someone's wrong, we're all wrong.

[B]

That's right. That is separation. We used to walk around planet earth butt naked, loving each other. That's who we are at our core. We're love. Right? And so when you're in victim energy, all of your energy and fear energy is put into something outside of you. So you are on pins and needles for your person to win. Because if and when they win, my life will be different. There is no more deeper that you are falling into than that you are the president of your life, period. In the story, you are the creator of your life. But then watch this victim fear energy, which is literally all of Hollywood, all of the news, all of the machine which wants to keep you in it. They're constantly just programming you with fear, right? So then when your person win or doesn't win, guess what happens? You go into fear.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

My. How could I live in this world? This world, this world with. With so much bad things happening in this world? What if you shut off the damn program?

[A]

Yeah. You don't see it.

[B]

What if you shut off the TV True story. I don't know what the hell is going on in the world, because it was shown to me very clearly that the TV is the very thing that is being used to program us and keep us in fear. I don't know who's at war. I don't know who won the game. I don't. I don't know. I'm oblivious because I want to stay here. I don't need that to entertain me or to fill me. I'm filled in here. You want life? Close your eyes. Sit in silence. You want to meet God, by the way? Go sit in nature for 30 minutes. Take a deep breath in. Hold that breath. Release it. Do that six, seven, eight, nine times. And then just sit in stillness. Watch all of your ailments. Watch your body heal, your life healing. Because you're going to meet God. You're going to meet God. You're going to meet the Creator. You want to manifest it here. You. The center of the universe is literally all right here, but you're being told that it is out there.

[A]

Why do we seem to have more men not stepping into their power, by the way?

[B]

So let me keep going. Thank you. So what does fear want? Fear wants chaos. Fear wants darkness. So fear and the consciousness of fear and separation devises this plan. I know what we're going to do. We're going to make the women men and the men women. Because when those energies come together, guess what happens? We will create children that are in the energies of chaos, guilt, and shame. They can't be in their power because when they're in their power, they're being shown by a man, a father, what true masculinity is, and by a woman what true femininity is. And the more and more that these babies are being created in chaos, guilt, and shame, the more that darkness can live. The last thing it wants is for men to be in their masculine and women to be in their feminine. Because if that happens, guess what will happen here on Earth, Louis? Heaven on Earth.

[A]

Love.

[B]

Love?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Love the heaven that religion tells you that you need to wait for. Someday out there, you will literally experience it here on Earth. And if you want that, remove all separation that is within you, remove all racism that is within you. Start there. Start there. Anything in you that sees yourself as less than or greater than someone else. I used to be in real estate, and I used to be a part of a club that was only for, like, Hispanic real estate agents. That's me creating and filling the energy of racism.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I'm the One creating it. If I'm walking, can't you be, you.

[A]

Know, inspired by your culture and your country?

[B]

And you are not your culture. You are not your country. You are you. I'm not Hispanic. I'm not American. I'm a human being, and my country is the world, and my religion is love. Period on the story. Watch what happens when you start going on that journey. Watch how beautiful life gets. What? Money, dream partner. Because you have finally gotten it that you are love.

[A]

Yeah. And the biggest thing separating people from love is what?

[B]

Well, the world that we live in, the game is this, Louis. You come down into this world and the world is made to take you from your power. All of your power believes in and listens to everybody else. You listen to your mom and dad, you listen to your teacher, then you listen to the government, then you listen to the preacher. You listen to everybody but you. And that shows you to be separate from God. So you're praying and hoping, God, please change my life. Please change my life. Please change my life. Until one day you realize, ain't working. This ain't working. Because they keep attracting the same thing, right? And then you go on the journey. You go on the journey of no longer believing what the world, society, religion, when nothing has told you. You go on the journey of finding the truth for yourself and discovering who you are. And when you do that, and you have the courage to unravel everything within you that has anything to do with fear, anything to do with not honoring your truth, guess what you discover, man? You discover exactly what Jesus said when they asked him, who are you? Who are you? And what did he say? I am. That I am. They say, you're God. Are you God? I and the Father are one. And that very thing is available for all of humanity.

[A]

That's beautiful, man.

[B]

Thank you. Yeah.

[A]

There's a lot more we could talk about here, about relationships. I thought we just scratched the surface, but you've got a lot of great content in your own podcast about relationships as well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And also on your Instagram, Danny Morrell. Dannymorel.com you've got an amazing three day event that you do that helps people step into their power, own their voice, heal, and start the journey of healing that they can get at. Dannymorell.com is where they can find that information.

[B]

Or Backslash Awaken.

[A]

Yeah, Backslash Awaken. Or raken you co. Is that the site for the.

[B]

Yeah. Or dannymorell.com awakenyou okay, cool.

[A]

How many times do you do that event a year?

[B]

If I could every day of my life.

[A]

Yeah, but how many is it happening?

[B]

We will do 10 of them in 2020.

[A]

10 of them? Wow, man. Almost every month you're doing an event.

[B]

I just. I. That's great, Louis. There's nothing on planet Earth like you seeing a human being uncover their eyes and look at you with tears going. I get it.

[A]

Yeah, it's powerful.

[B]

There's nothing.

[A]

Yeah, I get it. I get it. No, I didn't share it. So if people want to check out more from you, you've got a podcast. Is it the Higher Self podcast or is it a different one?

[B]

Yeah, we've got two. It's the Higher Self. And then with my wife, we do Finding the One.

[A]

Oh, that's good. Okay, so if you want more of the relationship stuff, go to check out finding the one podcast with you and your wife. Also, just DannyMorrell.com will have all this stuff linked up and we'll link it up all as well. I've got two final questions for you, Danny.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Before I ask them, I want to acknowledge you, Danny, for your transformation.

[B]

Thank you, man.

[A]

For your constant journey of transforming and healing and growing, which it's going to be a journey for both of us till we die. And for your courage to let go of an old self that no longer served you or humanity in the highest level. For the courage to let go of the, you know, the big businesses and do more of the work you're doing and things like that, and to find ways to create human healing with your previous wife, to bring that family and merge it in a certain way that has boundaries and healthy love as well, with your current life and new child that you have. So congratulations on being a model and example and breaking the mold of Hispanic culture. Even though you're not Hispanic culture, but you come from that culture that has a stereotype and a mold that a man needs to be a certain way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I appreciate you being a voice and being an example for men from that culture to say, oh, if I want peace and freedom, maybe it doesn't have to look this way that my great grandfather and grandfather and father all did. Maybe I can be the one in my family to change the legacy moving forward.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

So I acknowledge you for that as well. This is a question I ask everyone towards the end called the three Truths. Hypothetical question. Imagine you get to live as long as you want to live, but it's the last day for you. You accomplish all of your dreams, you see your kids grow up and they accomplish their dreams. But it's your last day on Earth, and for whatever reason in this hypothetical scenario, all of your work has to go with you or we don't get to keep it on this Earth. It's gone. This conversation? Gone. All the videos you've created, books, workshops, it's all gone. But you get to leave behind three truths and we would get to keep this. This is all Earth would have of your kind of teachings or memories or lessons. What would those three lessons or three truths be for you?

[B]

Everything you've ever wanted and every question you've ever answered is already within you. There is no separation between you, the plants, the animals, your brothers and sisters as you are all one and you and God are one.

[A]

Very good. Awesome. It's almost all in one. All three of them are one. You are one with everything. Final question. What's your definition of greatness?

[B]

Discovering yourself and living from your authentic self.

[A]

Danny, thanks for being here man.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Appreciate you brother.

[B]

Thank you man.

[A]

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links and if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness+channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

[B]

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