How To Make Vulnerability Your Greatest Strength With Jay Glazer

Summary

Podcast Summary: The School of Greatness – How To Make Vulnerability Your Greatest Strength With Jay Glazer

Release Date: July 18, 2025 | Host: Lewis Howes | Guest: Jay Glazer

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Introduction

In this powerful episode of The School of Greatness, host Lewis Howes sits down with renowned sports journalist and author Jay Glazer to explore the transformative power of vulnerability. Glazer shares his deeply personal journey battling depression and anxiety, and how embracing vulnerability has become his greatest strength. This conversation delves into mental health, resilience, and the importance of genuine connections.

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Jay Glazer's Personal Struggles

Jay Glazer opens up about his long-standing battle with mental health issues, revealing that he has been experiencing panic attacks weekly since 2005.

Jay Glazer [02:31]: "You just told me before we started that you've had a panic attack since 2005. Until now. Every week."

Glazer explains how internal negative dialogues forced him to move forward instead of succumbing to despair.

Jay Glazer [07:27]: "It's got me to do all this great stuff so I can get some love from the outside in."

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The Journey of Overcoming Mental Health Challenges

Glazer discusses his turning point—deciding to speak openly about his struggles to help others facing similar battles. This decision was inspired by feedback from others who felt isolated in their mental health struggles.

Jay Glazer [05:03]: "And he said, man, you're going to be a voice to get to the gray for a lot of us. Us, him included."

He emphasizes that acknowledging vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a pathway to strength and connection.

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Strategies for Managing Mental Health

Glazer outlines three key strategies that have helped him manage his mental health:

1. Building a Team

   • Surrounding himself with supportive individuals, including friends, family, and colleagues.

   Jay Glazer [12:02]: "Have a team. Don't do it alone."

2. Being of Service

   • Helping others to shift focus away from his own struggles, which in turn fosters a sense of purpose and connection.

   Jay Glazer [13:14]: "Being of service... it's being of service. And I, in the book, I give several ways."

3. Laughter

   • Using humor as a tool to alleviate anxiety and panic attacks, turning challenging moments into opportunities for joy.

   Jay Glazer [15:03]: "The gray hates laughter. And I do see blue when I'm laughing."

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The MVP Program and Its Impact

Glazer shares insights into his charity, MVP (Merging Vets and Players), which supports veterans and ex-athletes. He recounts inspiring stories of individuals like Andy Ward, who overcame homelessness and trauma through the program.

Jay Glazer [32:54]: "Josh Burris... he was listening to a session... He said, I'm donating a million dollars right now to MVP."

These stories highlight the profound impact of vulnerability and support in fostering healing and resilience.

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Defining Greatness

When asked to define greatness, Glazer offers a heartfelt perspective:

Jay Glazer [73:06]: "Vulnerability is true strength."

He believes that true greatness lies in lifting others up rather than personal achievements.

Jay Glazer [75:51]: "Greatness is what you do for others. Greatness when you lift everybody else up, right?"

This definition underscores the episode's central theme: embracing vulnerability as a means to achieve collective greatness.

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Lessons Learned and Final Thoughts

Glazer and Howes conclude with poignant reflections on the importance of vulnerability, self-love, and building supportive communities. Glazer encourages listeners to embrace their struggles and use them as catalysts for personal and communal growth.

Jay Glazer [75:51]: "Vulnerability is true strength. The secret of success is at work in the world and being loyal. And the last one would be love yourself up."

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Conclusion

This episode of The School of Greatness is a testament to the strength found in vulnerability. Jay Glazer's candid discussion about his mental health journey serves as an inspiration for listeners to embrace their own struggles, seek support, and use their experiences to uplift others. Through building supportive teams, serving others, and finding moments of joy, Glazer exemplifies how vulnerability can indeed be one's greatest strength.

Key Takeaways:

• Vulnerability fosters genuine connections and strength.
• Building a supportive team is essential for mental well-being.
• Being of service to others can transform personal struggles into purposeful actions.
• Humor and laughter are powerful tools in managing anxiety and panic attacks.
• True greatness lies in uplifting others and contributing to the community.

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For more insights and resources, visit The School of Greatness

Transcript

[Jay Glaser]

When you don't have any self worth or you don't have these roommates in your head tell you what a bad person you are all the time, it forced me to instead of just lay in bed and say I'm cashing on my chips, it's got me to do all this great stuff so I can get some love from the outside in.

[Lewis Howes]

Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro.

[Unknown]

Athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur and each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness.

[Lewis Howes]

Thanks for spending some time with me today.

[Unknown]

Now let the class begin.

[Dexter Morgan]

I'm Dexter Morgan. I've been through hell, but now I'm back for my curtain call. And what better place to hide than New York City. There may be a new area code, but my code never changes. In a city full of monsters, my dark urges will feel right at home.

[Jay Glaser]

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[Jay Glaser]

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Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. We've got the man. Jay Glaser.

[Jay Glaser]

So glad you man.

[Unknown]

So grateful about what you're up to.

[Jay Glaser]

Last time I saw you was in my gym. Unbreakable, right? You came in there, you lifted every weight in the place. We were never the same. Exactly. Yes. Unbreakable.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

You live around the corner. Let's go, man. We got to get you back in there.

[Unknown]

I'm coming back in.

[Jay Glaser]

I promise. Great. It's a great little community.

[Unknown]

I'm excited, man. You've had an amazing story, and your whole book, Unbreakable, is about how you turn depression, anxiety into really, motivation that you can accomplish things without feeling overwhelmed and stressed. But you just told me before we started that you've had a panic attack since 2005. Until now. Every week.

[Jay Glaser]

Every week.

[Unknown]

Every week. How did you. Now, when I grew up, and I'm assuming when you grew up. I grew up in the Midwest. I was never able to talk about my feelings.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Unknown]

It was just like, suck it up.

[Jay Glaser]

You grew up in the Midwest. I grew up in Jersey.

[Unknown]

It's even harder for you. But I was. We had a lot of talk about, you know, how I felt playing football, playing baseball, playing whatever. It was just like, suck it up. Keep going.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

When did you feel like it was okay to talk about feeling of anxiety, stress, mental health? When was this, like, a conversation you could have without being made fun of, laughed at, picked on, bullied, told you're a wussy or whatever it is?

[Jay Glaser]

No, look, for me. And you talked about the motivation part, right? My. And I got. I have depression, anxiety, add, elemental P. Whatever. I mean, I got everything, you know, but, you know, we talk about mental health, but who describes it like, God bless. Bless me with the ability to communicate, and I want to let be a service and. And give words. I was never. I was never. I don't want to say this. I'm gonna say I was never ashamed because there's been shame. Like, I've been embarrassed to tell certain people and not others. But I also don't make the rules of depression, anxiety.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

It's not. My best friend's Michael Stray. And I didn't really tell until three months ago that I couldn't go out to dinner one night because I had a really bad attack. It just got me. And he said, you want me to come over and talk? I said, no, we just get on the phone. No. He said, why have you never told me? I said, man, I don't know. Like, I just. With you, I felt embarrassed.

[Unknown]

I don't know, really. But yet other people, you didn't feel.

[Jay Glaser]

When I'm at Fox and the sky's falling, Howie Long will say, hey, hey, hey. So sky's not falling. Yes, it is. And so I talked to him about it. And so right I don't know. I have no idea why.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

So why I came out and started talking about us, because I know I could help people, give them words.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And, you know, my own misery, my own darkness. Like the Rock wrote the forward.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yep.

[Jay Glaser]

And he said, man, you're going to be a voice to get to the gray for a lot of us. Us, him included. Which is pretty wild. Right.

[Unknown]

So what does the gray mean to you?

[Jay Glaser]

The gray is that depression, anxiety. So I'll tell you this. I wake up every single morning and it hurts and it sucked. Look, I get choked up talking about it because I. I. You know, when I talk about it, sometimes I feel bad for this guy. Like, I don't know what it's like to wake up in the blue and, like, you have a man. Your life is great, and my life is great. Like, I'm sitting here doing a podcast with you. It's pretty awesome.

[Unknown]

You got great friends, you got a good business, you're on tv.

[Jay Glaser]

People go, what do you have to be depressed about? My life is great, but in between my ears sucks. And it's just the only way I've ever. It's my earliest childhood memory.

[Unknown]

Has it always sucked?

[Jay Glaser]

It's always sucked.

[Dexter Morgan]

Really?

[Jay Glaser]

Always Earliest childhood memory. And, man, I was always in trouble because I was acting out. But again, the motivation part, when you have. When you live in this gray, you have no idea how to love yourself up from the inside out. I don't feel worthy of being loved from the inside out.

[Unknown]

Still today.

[Jay Glaser]

Oh, my God, it's awful.

[Unknown]

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being you love yourself.

[Jay Glaser]

Zero.

[Dexter Morgan]

A lot.

[Jay Glaser]

A negative. Zero. A negative. Even today, man, it's awful.

[Unknown]

Why is that? Why do you think that is?

[Jay Glaser]

It's what it tells me. I kind of call it. I wrestle with my abuser.

[Unknown]

Who's the abuser?

[Jay Glaser]

The depression, the anxiety. Those roommates in my head that tell me these things that aren't true. Like I said, I. I know it's logically. It's not true. I know that. And I've had to build up this Persona on TV all these years to hide it. So my friends all say glaze was crazy, and that's a badge of honor and football and fighting in those worlds, but they never knew how much pain I was in. And until now. And then I first talked about it a few years ago. And I have a charity that I work with, veterans, right? Mvp. So I talk about openly to them. And we're veterans and ex athletes, right. We merge them together. Mvp. Merging vets and players, and I see how much connects with them. And one day I was just. I did an article somewhere where I was being this vulnerable, how I am in the huddle with them, with the rest of the world. And the reaction was like, oh, my God, you too. You have depression, anxiety. I'm like, yeah, like I'm. I've never hid the crazy, if you will. And I just saw how the reaction. So I was like, I could really be of service to people.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

And that's where I wanted to be. And I say the motivation part because again, when you don't. When you don't have any self worth or you don't have these roommates in your head, tell you what a bad person you are all the time, it forced me to. Instead of just lay in bed and say, I'm catching on my chips. It's got me to do all this great stuff so I can get some love from the outside in.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Unknown]

How do you get the love from the inside?

[Jay Glaser]

I'm working on it. In. I'm working. And that as I start doing things like this, I hear the effect I have on people and there are days that then I feel it. I think, I feel. I cry a lot now. And I think it's pride of being able to help people and man the number of people that have reached out. And again, in the book, I really describe what it's like to have depression, anxiety, what it's like to have mental health issues. A lot of this. A lot of this self worth or like, I wake up every morning feeling that the sky is falling. Every single day of my life. I wake up, sky's falling, the universe hates me, world's against me, and I've got to get myself out of that gray. I've got to work myself out of it every single morning. And there's different things I do and I see therapists. I've tried a lot of meds.

[Unknown]

How long have you been seeing therapists for?

[Jay Glaser]

Since I was about four. Really? Yeah. My parents took me to the psychiatrist. Like I was a crazy one. Like, sure, come on, gang.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

So it's a consistent thing you do as therapy support. Because I've found therapy extremely helpful to me. I felt like I was on a lower number of the spectrum for many years of lacking self worth, which I think a lot of people probably feel that growing up in a challenging situation and it's been extremely helpful for me to heal that inner child or that.

[Jay Glaser]

Little grieving, that little Lewis or the.

[Unknown]

You Know the psychology part of my.

[Jay Glaser]

I call it Little Jason, which. That's my real name.

[Unknown]

Yeah, exactly. But you're big now. You mean you're big.

[Jay Glaser]

I built that up.

[Unknown]

I built up warrior defense mechanism.

[Jay Glaser]

Defense mechanism. When really the warrior side is not the strength of me. The vulnerability is the strength.

[Unknown]

That's where you make the biggest impact.

[Jay Glaser]

There you go.

[Unknown]

Just like with this book. And sharing vulnerably, you're able to touch more lives than being like, bigger and stronger and tougher.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah. There's only so much I could make people laugh on TV or, you know, give them inside information. Right. And it. It's definitely is a distraction from. That's where you are. We're escapism on tv. But to really do something like this. I was saying. I was. I'm getting people now. I'm getting grandmothers reaching out, saying, thank you. For the first time in 80 years, I have the words to tell my. To tell my husband and kids and grandkids what I've been going through. Wow. Or girl dads saying. And now boy dads do. Like, a lot of them saying, well, I don't have it. And I'm like, yeah, probably do. But I didn't know how to connect with my child, and now I do. And the book is filled with expletives and F bombs. This. That. Because. It's. Because there's nothing pretty about what I'm talking about.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And so if you don't like curse words and man overlook it or. That's my. That's. That's who I am. I just want to be authentic, of course. And that's how I talk. But I have a lot of them saying I didn't know how to connect with my son or daughter. And now I do got the books to read together or to just say, okay, now I know what they're going through. So when they wake up in the morning again. I wake up in the morning every day of my life in the gray. It's never blue. And I've got to make that decision to get myself out of bed. And once I make that decision, I decide I'm going to be relentless in everything I do. Like, I'm just not gonna let this thing win. But it's a. It affects me physically, too. Like, it's.

[Unknown]

When it feel like a weight, it.

[Jay Glaser]

Feels like a chain. So it's both. So it feels like these. My. I wrote in the book, like, it was almost like these heavy chains are pulling my soul down.

[Dexter Morgan]

Oh.

[Jay Glaser]

And it's. It's heavy. It's. It, it hurts. And. But when I'm having really bad days like this past weekend, Saturday night, I woke up 3 o' clock in the morning and it normally doesn't wake me up in the middle of night, but man, the beast got out of the box and kicked my butt. And when that happens, I feel it behind my rib cage. Feels like I'm having a heart attack. The left side of my gut. It's like, man, I get a gut punch for you. Oh man.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And my joints ache like I just got out of a. A fight. A fight in the rain. Like, like a 50 round boxing match. So it, there's a physical visceral reaction for me. I've got to. And that's why I wrote the book too, to get. Give people ways to get out of. At least the ways I've used to get out of it. And I got to do it every single day of my life.

[Unknown]

So what have been the strategies to get out of therapy?

[Jay Glaser]

Working out the three temples I put in here is one. Have a team.

[Dexter Morgan]

Of course.

[Jay Glaser]

Don't do it alone. No, absolutely.

[Unknown]

But you'll go mad.

[Jay Glaser]

We have teams all around us. We may not realize it. So I've always like, you played football, right? That's a team. This crew right here is a team for you.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yep.

[Jay Glaser]

My dog is a team with me. Right. God's a team with me. That one up there, you know, exactly. There's. I have a little group. So Fox interval Sunday is a crew, right? My unbreakable, breakable crew. My gym crew. Those are my team. And like this weekend when I was struggling, called, I called a teammate to come over. I called other teammates to let them know, man, today's just, it's a bad day.

[Unknown]

Just to check in on you, make sure he's good.

[Jay Glaser]

I called Dwayne. Yeah, I literally, like, he's my battle buddy on this. Yeah, call them, dude. Today's one of them. Freaking great. Is it? Today hurts and he stepped away from filming his 90 shows and. Right, right. Hey, make sure he was there because I'm there for him. And that's what teammates do. It's not a, it's, it's give, give. Right. It's loyalty. I've. I've gotten to where I am too, out of loyalty. So it's this loyalty factor. Loyalty is a dying art. Right. It's a rare, rare art now. And more need to do that, I think. So I, I have these teams.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yes.

[Jay Glaser]

One, number two is being of service.

[Unknown]

That's huge. Man, that's my Emma right there.

[Jay Glaser]

Well, as I was for everybody that I called this weekend to tell them I, I need help and man, I'm struggling. I called the same number of people just to see how they were doing.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Unknown]

The same day. I mean before same day. Oh, yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

So if I called four people say I'm struggling. I called another four say, hey, checking in on you, checking in on you.

[Unknown]

How you doing?

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Being of service.

[Unknown]

Because what happens when you're of service in that depressed, anxious, stressful state? Does it feel like it helps you get out of it?

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah. So I hump the blue.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

You're not focused on, you have to focus on others and it's being of service. And I, in the book, I give several ways. I've always. Look, my first 11 years of my career, I was making 9,700 bucks a year living in New York City.

[Unknown]

Is it the TV with TV or what?

[Jay Glaser]

I was working in New York on TV for 450 bucks a year. Oh, man. And I finally got a job at the New York Post for a whopping nine grand a year trying to outwork the world, working 100 hour weeks, trying to be this reporter. So I couldn't get like side jobs to help.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

Side. No. My electricity got turned off all the time, you know, he. All that, all the time get turned off. I just grinded for all those years, you know. But even then I figured out ways to be of service to whether it was just stop and talking to a homeless person. I still to this day will go to the little 99 cent store with my son and go get toothbrush, toothpaste, handy wipes, band aids, band aids, socks. So pad and pen gloves. It's eight bucks and I put them in a bag and I hand them out to homeless.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

So you don't have to be loaded to go be of service.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

But also just calling somebody, saying, just checking up on your amen, just telling you I love you.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

You know, we're, that's being of service. And it's, it's, it's hard for the roommates in your head to tell you how bad you are when you are lifting somebody else up.

[Unknown]

Absolutely.

[Jay Glaser]

So that's huge.

[Unknown]

I'm so glad that's a strategy for what's number three.

[Jay Glaser]

And by the way, therapists are part of the team also. Absolutely.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And the third one is laughter. That's what you do really? Well, I laugh. I laugh a lot. I try. And the gray hates laughter. And I do see blue when I'm laughing, but I'll tell you this. That most don't know. And nobody knew until I wrote this. Nobody knew again. I've had a panic attack started in 2005. I was an empty Raider Stadium doing a hit for FOX Level Sunday. And it's weird for me to have had one because I'm like, I suck in calm, but I'm really, really good in chaos. Yeah. So chaos of tv for me, it's. I feel safe there.

[Unknown]

You're in the zone there.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Great. So I don't know why it happened. It was 2005.

[Unknown]

It was peaceful. No one was there.

[Jay Glaser]

Nobody in the stadium but me.

[Unknown]

And it stressed you out? It stressed you out?

[Jay Glaser]

I don't know. But I. But I've been on TV since 93. Right. So I don't know why 12 years in, it suddenly happened.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

But when I have a anxiety panic attack, balls cave in.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

My eyes start going like this. My hands start shaking. I start sweating. I feel like I'm having a heart attack. Hard to breathe for the. And I've had it. It became habitual, so it's now between my ears. So every single time I had a little mini one when we sat down here before.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

And it just became like, habitual, but they're not dangerous. But for 10 years, I didn't know that I was getting my heart checked out. We didn't talk about panic attacks from 2005 to 2015. Whatever. Like, no one knew who it was. That's why I'm trying to give these words for somebody to go, oh, that's what I have. Okay. So you're not alone. It's. You're. A lot of us have them and it may not be every week. And everybody out there also, like, I'm clinical depression, anxiety. But we all have something now. It's a harder world these days. Social media makes it harder. We just came to a pandemic. We had to isolate. Worst thing we could ever do. Right?

[Unknown]

Especially depressed.

[Jay Glaser]

Especially. But we're all going to have something now. Especially because we compare ourselves to everybody else's filtered. Filtered fraction of one second of one day.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right?

[Jay Glaser]

And we think. And we feel left out. And we think, man, I'm not successful. Look what this person's doing. Look at that person. It's not real. Or the. The bullying and hate we see on Twitter. The human condition is not made to see so much a thousand times a second. Just not meant to. Something's got to give.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right?

[Jay Glaser]

So I'm trying to lead us all through to start giving together and be kinder to each other. But the laughter part, when you see me forcing a joke, the first segment of Fox, it's because I'm having a really bad one.

[Unknown]

Really. And that's why you tell the. That's why you tell the joke.

[Jay Glaser]

So if you see it like, well, that didn't fit. I'm trying to get myself out of a panic attack.

[Unknown]

You're trying to get back in the zone and focused and present.

[Jay Glaser]

So. Yeah, because I'm. Man, it's. When I'm having this panic and anxiety attack, it's. Yeah, you're. It's. Man, it's. It's like I'm not there again. I'm having all this physical stuff, but it's like I'm over there or something. It's just I'm not. I don't. It's. I'm not there. I am. I'm somewhere else, deep behind my eyes, somewhere else. So the quicker I can make you laugh or me laugh, I get out of it. And it usually lasts two, three minutes, right? Maybe five.

[Unknown]

And then it moves on.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

For the most part. I've had ones at Super Bowl a couple years ago, last an hour and a half. I have no memory of the first hour of our show.

[Unknown]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jay Glaser]

How much does that suck?

[Unknown]

That sucks.

[Jay Glaser]

Biggest show of my life, 100th anniversary of the NFL. Oh, and. And none of the guys knew I was experiencing this until this. And stray and said, why don't you tell us? I said, because I don't want to bring bring down your day on live tv, you know, now if I have one when we're off the air, I'll say, hey, oh, it's coming on. Who? And, you know, I'll tell. I usually lean on Howie and Kurt Menafee a lot for that.

[Dexter Morgan]

Or.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah, I'll be open about it now, so I just won't suffer in silence anymore.

[Unknown]

What's the. I mean, 2005 was the first time you started really having them.

[Jay Glaser]

Right.

[Unknown]

What do you think was the shift from not having them to having them in 2005?

[Jay Glaser]

No idea. And that's the thing. It's like, not only that, it's not like I had a great story that day. I remember it's d' Angelo hall and Terrell Owens got in a fight on the field. They had some others, and they didn't talk to many but me. So I'm like, hey, I got this great exclusive. So I had great stuff. Nobody was in there. It was actually really peaceful. I have no idea why my abuser decided to step up that day. I got no idea why I decided to step up the morning of the super bowl, right before we're about to redo the Immaculate Reception with Terry Bradshaw and Franco Harris. Like, are you kidding me, man?

[Unknown]

Right, right.

[Jay Glaser]

Little Jason is dream of dreams. I don't have any memory of it. It wasn't until I got in the car with Jimmy Johnson and Kurt Menifee, we started busting chops and laughing where.

[Unknown]

I got through it after the fact.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

We were going to the next site.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

We had a three or four hour pregame show, whatever it was. Yeah, yeah, man.

[Unknown]

I mean, you've worked with thousands, by.

[Jay Glaser]

The way, that day. I just gotta tell you this.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Because the laughter part Again, it's the 100th anniversary of the NFL, right?

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Jay Glaser]

Centennial. The NFL. We're standing on the field, on the sideline, ball just kicks off. It's Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Me Strahan, Tony Gonzalez is standing over there. Kurt Menefee, Jimmy Chuck will stand there and Terry Bradshaw, who is the funniest dude you'll ever meet, legit funny like that. He says, you know what? This hundredth anniversary of the NFL thing, this worked great. This centennial, this thing went great. We said, yeah, it was great. And we did it all year long. He said, great. He said we should totally do this again next year. What did you just say, dude? He literally was just like, oh, I get it.

[Unknown]

Yeah, 100 years, easy.

[Jay Glaser]

But I'm sorry to cut you off.

[Unknown]

That's great, man.

[Jay Glaser]

That's the add part. Cutting you off.

[Unknown]

No, it's all good, man. Side stories are classic. You've trained or you've worked with or have trained. And I've also just seen thousands of athletes and pro athletes come through your facility and over the years trained them. What would you say is the level of which the high level athletes face mental health, stress and anxiety? Or do you feel like most of them don't face that?

[Jay Glaser]

They all face it. You can't be great and not have some crazy.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Like your work ethic, you just. It's. It's not normal.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right, right.

[Jay Glaser]

And that's good. Like, I want us to embrace it. Like I say I'm messed up, but I'm good with my messed upness.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah, right.

[Jay Glaser]

Look at the stuff you've done.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

You're not normal.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

I don't think. I think most of us aren't normal. And what makes us not normal is we outwork the world. Not by a little, by a lot. You got to have. You got to be off to put those hours in when no one's watching.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right?

[Jay Glaser]

Right. Not just when everybody's watching. It's those hours when everybody else is, when nobody's watching.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

But to be on that level.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

And this is what I tell anybody, right? You played arena ball. You playing football. Right. Is not who you are. But what's behind your ribcage that got you to beat out millions and millions to beat your record holder in ncaa. That's one of one that, that no one could ever take that from you. And too many feel like, oh man, I, I didn't do enough or I didn't go here, I didn't go there. Yeah, you did. Like you playing the NFL or you playing arena ball is not who you are. What's behind your ribcage that makes you so much different than everybody else. That's who you are. That suddenly doesn't just go away, it's always there.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

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[Jay Glaser]

Period.

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[Jay Glaser]

Or.

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[Jay Glaser]

But who reminds you all of that? Right? So like, even you were telling, well, I didn't do. No, no, you played arena ball. Dude, I never got to that level.

[Unknown]

I got paid to play.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah. Most of the world didn't get to that level.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right, right.

[Jay Glaser]

You were, you were top level athlete in decathlon. Right? Just, there's something different about you there. We all have something different about us. We got to find what that is. For me, like, do I wish I could have played football. Yeah. I'm a 5 foot 7 Jewish guy. It's not gonna happen. Right.

[Unknown]

Your parents were like, let's just play some chess or something.

[Jay Glaser]

And then for me, I got into mixed martial arts early.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Because I actually. I felt like I belonged in a cage.

[Unknown]

That's what led me like an animal, I felt.

[Jay Glaser]

But not only that, I feel like I belong there. And I feel like I deserve to lose. Really? Yeah. That's what my self worth was.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

So that was the easiest place for me to kind of take beatings. And it's not like my dad didn't beat me growing up or anything like that. So it was just my self worth. And it wasn't until I started really, I started coaching. Fox made me stop fighting in 2003 or four. I only had two fights. See, I just did it right there. I only had two fights.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Unknown]

@ least you fought. But then, see, you did it.

[Jay Glaser]

I started minimizing myself right there. And that's what I'm trying to.

[Unknown]

Me too. I only played the arena.

[Jay Glaser]

That's what I. That's. I was just getting. I knew about that now. I just did it. Right. I took those three steps up in. And it did make me feel special because we were kind of like the island of Misfit Toys back then. This is. It was just pre.

[Unknown]

Big ufc.

[Jay Glaser]

Yes. Yes. And. And it still makes me feel special from my physical scars from it. So when Fox made me stop fighting, I learned how to start coaching guys. And that's how it came to about where I opened up the gym. Unbreakable. And I've coached a thousand NFL players, full teams.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

Wrestle every single one of them.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

Get in there with every one of them.

[Dexter Morgan]

Sure.

[Jay Glaser]

And like, it's. That's my. That's my own messed upness when I. When I have a fight team, the roommates in my head talk a lot nicer to each other.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And so I've always bragged about these physical scars. Even, like, internally when I walk in a room. Like, man, I've ruptured all four L5 four times and L1 L2 twice from wrestling with Randy Couture and Chuck Liddell and Andrew Whitworth and Lane Johnson and this guy and that guy. But we don't brag about our mental scars. So that's what I'm trying to do now, man. It's time I give myself a break and learn how to brag about the stuff I've overcome mentally.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

That's what we have to do.

[Unknown]

What Happens when we start to talk about it. What happens to us physically, mentally, when we start to bring it out to life as opposed to hide it. You should be ashamed about it.

[Jay Glaser]

We don't have a secret anymore. It's this relief. And I'll tell you this, too. The fear of someone's going to tell us to suck it up or. Oh, come on, man, just, you know, you're being a wuss or whatever.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Every single person 100 that I've opened up to about this, it's brought me closer together with them.

[Unknown]

100. Vulnerability is the key to connection in my mind. Yes, I. I talk about this openly on my. On my show. But when I was five, I was sexually abused by a man that I didn't know. And for 25 years, I held on to the secret, the shame, because I thought to myself, if anyone knew this, no one would love me. And so it was this shame that I held on to.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah. That's a lot. It's a lot to overcome.

[Unknown]

It's a lot, man. And so it drove me to become bigger, faster, stronger, you know, protect myself. Kind of like what you were talking about, building this defense mechanism. But it left me feeling less connected to people emotionally because I wasn't able to tap into that vulnerability. It wasn't until about nine years ago I started opening up and it was like this weight came off me. And also, like you said, all my relationships got stronger. All of them.

[Jay Glaser]

And how many people did you help? Because they're like, dude, so many happened to me too. Right.

[Unknown]

So many men started emailing me.

[Jay Glaser]

Good for you.

[Unknown]

I wrote a book about it, the whole thing. And it's like, that was my most downloaded podcast in 1200 episodes.

[Jay Glaser]

Wow.

[Unknown]

And it was the one that made the most impact when I talked about the journey for the first time. And it's just like, what you're doing now, it's helping so many people give a voice and give words, like you said, to what their challenges might be faced with in their head. I'm curious.

[Jay Glaser]

Just.

[Unknown]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Jay Glaser]

So I know. Look it beyond sucked that happened to you.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

It's the ultimate betrayal.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

But if it didn't, like, like, think how many. Think how many lives you saved. Because it did.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Right.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

That one day you open up, think about. And like the. My co author here, I, Sarah, I only chose her because she overcame cancer.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

And she didn't know why. I sent over the last chapter about. And I said, I know it sucks you had cancer. I know it. But you came through that other side of that tunnel and didn't break you. And that's why I chose you. I know it sucks because you went through it. You're going to save people's lives. So that's the thing. We've got to use our. Our pain and the things that have happened to us to help others. And I'm not saying it's ever going to be worth it, but who knows the people's lives that you've saved and the good and great they go on to do.

[Unknown]

Absolutely.

[Jay Glaser]

You never know.

[Unknown]

You never know the ripple of the.

[Jay Glaser]

I'm proud of you, man.

[Unknown]

Thanks, man.

[Jay Glaser]

I'm proud to be here with you.

[Unknown]

I appreciate it, man.

[Dexter Morgan]

Thank you.

[Jay Glaser]

Very strong.

[Unknown]

I started talking about it. Yeah, I don't know, I guess seven years ago, maybe seven, eight years ago. And I remember feeling terrified because at the time, seven, eight years ago, I never saw any guys talking publicly about, especially who kind of looked like me, the former athlete, jock, opening up and talking about any of this stuff. So I was so scared. I was like, I'm gonna lose my business. No one's gonna like me, no one's gonna follow me, no one's gonna be friends with me. And it was the opposite. It was kind of like it allowed me to connect with my audience even stronger. And I think that's what you're doing as well, is showing a side of yourself that really connects people, your athletes.

[Jay Glaser]

You know, we need to be proud of our scars.

[Dexter Morgan]

Absolutely.

[Jay Glaser]

These are. This. No matter what happened to you, it's something you overcame.

[Unknown]

Absolutely.

[Jay Glaser]

So we gotta look at. This is something that happened to me.

[Unknown]

That broke me or that.

[Jay Glaser]

Or something that I overcame.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

So we have a. A girl named Andy Ward who is. And I could talk about it because she talks about it. She's a member of mvp. She came into. She's now. Well, she came into our MVP sessions. An MVP up here in it. We're in seven cities right now, but in la, we train unbreakable. We take the combat vets and. And athletes and we merge them together on Wednesday nights. It's free to all of them. And we train for about a half hour just to give that burn. But then after we have these mental health talks and these huddles and man, they have the sexual trauma that they've opened up about. There has been just. Wow.

[Unknown]

Well, it's quite healing for so many to talk about it and really release it. Absolutely.

[Jay Glaser]

It's just, man, we got your back. We were there for you. Well, Andy, for the first year And a half. Andy. We met Andy. She was homeless, and I think she was living on the VA campus by then. But Andy's. And she came in, she didn't say a word for the first year. Just came in, didn't say anything. And after a year, she's like, wow. These. These. These are brothers and sisters. I could. It's a team. I could. A vulnerable team.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

She finally. Stuff she's held onto. She finally opened up. And she was. She grew up in a cult. She was.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

Repeatedly. Repeatedly. Grown up by her father. She used the military to get away. And then she was.

[Unknown]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jay Glaser]

And then came back over here. Homeless, Drugs, alcohol. She is now my second highest ranking female executive.

[Unknown]

Oh, my gosh. It gives me chills.

[Jay Glaser]

She is. So she talks about this now. And last. Last year we had Josh Burris in, who's the CEO of gnc. And he was listening to a session. She was open up. She goes, guys, today's this anniversary of this, this, this. And she starts opening up and she's like, for the first time, I have brothers who get my back. I have men who get my back. And Josh Burris is like, oh, my God. This person just said all this public. Oh, my God. And he said, I'm donating a million dollars right now.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

To mvp. And it was because this woman was so vulnerable and open with us, Andy. And she's. She went from homeless to our second highest ranking female executives. And she works at Unbreakable too. She's amazing. So when you. When you turn your. We just had a Dallas chapter opening. She went down there and spoke with me and Dan Quinn, so defense coordinator down there, and a bunch of us. And Troy Aikman was there, and a bunch of people were there. And Andy told her story. And afterwards I said, how do you feel? And she said, I think pretty cool. And I said, you're the biggest rock star in this room right now. Wow. There are people. And she goes, I actually am feeling it. And she said, but you know what I deserve to. Was my suffering. I'm like, here you go. But that's what I'm saying. Like, we've all. This. This isn't heaven where we live, right? It's not gonna be perfect. We've all had really bad things happen to us. We could overcome it, right? And we can use it to motivate us. Or we could let us just let it beat us down, and it's easier to let it beat us down. But that can't be the option that I want Us to all take.

[Unknown]

But it's more worth it. Overcoming it.

[Jay Glaser]

Absolutely. Look how good you feel.

[Unknown]

I know. What was the biggest. The first thing you felt like you had to overcome early in life?

[Jay Glaser]

No, it was. It was. So I was tiny. It was growing up in Jersey, being the smallest one in a room all the time.

[Unknown]

You were getting picked on a lot.

[Jay Glaser]

Not even. Yeah, but not even picked on one. Yeah, I just. I couldn't pipe. I was. You know, I wrestled 101 pounds in high school.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

I was 101. Right. So kind of always kind of got left. I was a few years behind everybody, so that was always hard. But I was always kind of this in your face type of cat. But it was in your face. I. I knew I could only get.

[Unknown]

A certain point in your face until you started.

[Jay Glaser]

Until they beat me up.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

So the guys who were 200, just, like, one on one. I've always been, like, a tough kid, but I couldn't really do a lot about it. And. And I just also. Yeah. I just never felt loved growing up. That was the hardest.

[Unknown]

You never felt love? Did your parents love you?

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah. And I just didn't. I just didn't feel it. I just didn't. Yeah. And actually, I'd go upstairs at night. I always get punished because I'd lash back out. And I was always. And I was afraid of the dark, and I just started talking to God by myself. Like, really? Yeah. Just. No one taught me. I just did. And that's my choice. To have faith.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

I believe in a loving God. And it was like a best friend, parent, and that's my choice. It's not. Not a hateful guy where I'm getting punished for everything, which is weird because I always feel like I kind of Odd. Interesting. I think that way.

[Unknown]

What was the biggest lesson you learned growing up and who taught you that lesson?

[Jay Glaser]

Biggest lessons were from my dad. Outwork the world and be loyal and your dreams will come true.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

Absolutely.

[Unknown]

From your dad, huh?

[Jay Glaser]

From my dad. I work the world and be loyal. So loyalty was. Man, it's always. It's my brand.

[Unknown]

That's cool.

[Jay Glaser]

And I have just worked my butt off my whole life to make sure. Like, I. I got a text from a Navy SEAL buddy of mine the other day, said, I had a dream the other night that, man, I was about to get jumped in these football stands, and you were right behind me. And he just said, I was good because you were there. And it's just like. It's just this loyalty. And he goes we all know you're there for us.

[Dexter Morgan]

That's nice.

[Jay Glaser]

And I was like, that's. Yeah, that. That fills me up. But they know I am like, drop of a dime, if you're stranded anywhere in the world, you know, to call me and I will drop everything for you. And I kind of view it. I view everybody like I'm going to be so loyal to them. Hoping it's going to sound a little morbid here. So loyal that I'll end up being their pallbearer.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

Right? That's as loyal as you get. And if I can get 10 or 15% of my crew to treat me back the same way, I got a pretty good little team around me.

[Unknown]

And you got 15 paw bearers for you, too. Yeah. Wow, man. What was the biggest lesson your mom taught you?

[Jay Glaser]

Biggest lesson my mom taught me. My mom. So I have a million. I have six careers. I do at the same time. My mom did the same thing growing up, so she was like, stay at home mom. But she started all these businesses in the house, and they ended up starting preschools for communication handicapped children.

[Dexter Morgan]

Oh, wow.

[Jay Glaser]

So I worked at those my whole life group. And that's actually how I got diagnosed with ADD in 1989, through them. It took me that they had one place over by Princeton University, and they brought me in, and this is 89. So I got diagnosed with that. I got put on Ritalin, which.

[Unknown]

Oh, man.

[Jay Glaser]

Talking about messing up your brain chemistry. And then I have to go tell my teachers, hey, I got this new thing called ADD and explain it. And they're like. And I was like, ferris Bueller. They're like, oh, yeah, you know what? You need to take a pill and step out of the room. Yeah, whatever. Right? So, yeah, they didn't. I wasn't. It was my first year of college or my first year. I didn't get kicked out of college, but, you know, I had to educate college professors.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And then I was also trying. And I've tried to do this, and I've written a lot of this in the book. Don't call it a learning disability.

[Unknown]

What should we call it?

[Jay Glaser]

Add. It's also. They've decided to lump it in all together. ADD and adhd. Not like my kid has ADD and they call it adhd. He is not hyper at all.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

So they kind of lump things in. But also like, man, when we're growing up and they say, oh, this kid has a learning disability, there's a negative connotation to it.

[Unknown]

Absolutely.

[Jay Glaser]

We just don't Learn like everybody else. It's not a disability, but I know the way I learn is way better than the way that teacher over there may learn that coach over there or. You know what I mean?

[Unknown]

It's going to learn well in school format.

[Jay Glaser]

Yes.

[Unknown]

We didn't learn their way sports and in the world, we were able to connect with people and learn in other ways.

[Jay Glaser]

But if you brought them into a. A football meeting room and they couldn't pick up your playbook, would you call them disabled? No, they shouldn't call us disabled.

[Dexter Morgan]

That's true.

[Jay Glaser]

Yep.

[Unknown]

Just not good at that thing.

[Jay Glaser]

Not good at that. Yeah. It's not disabled. We're just. We don't pick that up. We're not going to call you disabled because you can't pick a playbook.

[Unknown]

That's true.

[Jay Glaser]

And that. That would always hurt me a lot when they would say yes. And I was you. I was a remedial English early. And, yeah, here. I wrote a book, so I know.

[Unknown]

I almost flunked out English my senior year. My teacher, my senior year teacher, she was like, louis, you can't go to college if you don't finish high school English class. And so she was great at just, like, tutoring me every day after class, like, trying to help me just get a passing grade so I could go play football.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

My parents got me a tutor every day.

[Unknown]

Yeah, man.

[Jay Glaser]

For my class. I didn't get it.

[Unknown]

It's the worst, man. It's hard to remember. I would read, like, pages in a book and just have to keep rereading the same pages and be like, half an hour. You're like, this is pointless. I'm gonna fail anyways. What's the point of doing this?

[Jay Glaser]

I skipped the reading comprehension part for my SATs.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

So, like, skipped it. I know I had no shot, but clearly I'm not learning disabled.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

Clearly it hasn't held me back from reaching my dreams. I've accomplished my dreams. So, you know, again, it's. There are certain things I'm good at, certain things I'm not good at. We all have that. Let's not call us disabled in any way.

[Unknown]

What's the three proudest moments of your life?

[Jay Glaser]

Three proudest moments that come to your mind.

[Unknown]

You know, obviously, if you have more time to think about. But what's the first thing that came to mind? Three proudest moments from early childhood till.

[Jay Glaser]

Now, when I started getting comfort of the Giants for all those years. Just broke it and broke the first day I walked in that giant locker room in 1993, which is already four years into my career, finally got a break for that 450 bucks was like nothing. But it was my first real job. I walked in that giant locker room and I said, okay. I have no education compared to everybody else in here. I have no. This is the mecca of, you know, television, sports, New York City. I have no experience. How could I be different? And for me, I try and preach that to people. Let's not be a face in the crowd. Let's be the crowd. Be your own crowd.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

That's what stands out, right? You're different. Everybody, we're different. So how could I be different?

[Unknown]

So what'd you do?

[Jay Glaser]

So I said, number one, if these reporters here work, I said, I'll be the last dude standing. So if they work 40 hours a week, I'm not gonna work them by a little. I'm not working by a lot. A lot. So I'd work 100 hours a week. And I had. I couldn't afford subway to bus to Giant stadium and back every day. So Michael Strahan drove me into New York City.

[Unknown]

How'd you convince him to drive you?

[Jay Glaser]

Nobody talked to him for, like. Michael didn't, like, make it to his fifth year. No one talked to him. He got drafted to be the top pass rush of the Giants to replace Lawrence Taylor. Lawrence Taylor still on the team, Right. Michael has bad teeth, and a speech impediment comes from Germany. Wasn't a good thing. So no one talked to him. Those other reporters didn't talk to me. We met our first ever days on the job ever. And latched on each other, and we just. Every day. And what I would also do is I would get these other. So.

[Unknown]

So he would drop you off?

[Jay Glaser]

Every day of my life. So I owe him. I owe him about $29,000. Telephone. And, like, what? Michael validated me to other players that you could trust this guy.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

But I also did. The other thing I did is I said, okay, hey, I'm not working by a lot, B. I'm not going to use my pen as a weapon.

[Unknown]

You know, talk bad about them.

[Jay Glaser]

Well, I'm just not gonna. I'm not gonna use my pen as a weapon. Back then, it was everything splashed on the back page. It was bad, right? I said, I'm gonna start relationships. I have more in common with these players than I do my fellow reporters.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

So I'm gonna start relationships. It was so frowned upon back then. Really. Oh, my God. They used to kill me and Michael.

[Unknown]

Now that's all they want to do, is try to build relationships to get the story.

[Jay Glaser]

I started a different way of doing it. So I had every scoop and every story. But that's the smart thing. Build a relationship. The scoops will come. If you go for the one scoop, you burn yourself forever.

[Unknown]

Relationship.

[Jay Glaser]

Short sighted. But I also, again, me needing a team. Even though I was the reporter and they're the players and the coaches, that was a. They're my team for my own mental health. Like, I latched on to them. I needed that. So it took me again, overall 11 years to get a full time job.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

But I just kept going, I kept grinding. And what I did too is I got those players that was covering and the coaches to see my plight. Man, this guy's so broke. But he's the first one here by hours. He's the last one here by hours. We want to see him make it like, I got them to see my play. I collected more of a team around me to walk this walk together with me. Finally, in 1999, I am on a a driving range on Randall's island with Tiki Barber, the Giants running back. And my agent is still with me. Maury Goss Tran, who can. I got turned down by 20 agents. I'm just. I was just trying to build this team that it's not just me, like, doing this. And he just happened to be home sick one day and saw me doing a free show on Channel 5 there. And he's like, oh, this kid's good. He calls me up and he says, hey, what are you doing? I said, playing golf with Tiki. A little driving wrench. He said, okay. And I get choked up here because it's my moment. There's only time. There's a few times in life we really find out who we are. This is one of them. And he said, you can exhale. I said, what do you mean? He said, we finally got you a full time job. Now this is 11 years of. And let me back up. Not only did I outwork these guys, I was trying to get a job every week of my life. I got rejected more than any human being you'll ever see in your life. But that relentlessness I told you about of me having that depression, anxiety, I had to go for something bigger. So I felt that love from the outside in so hard. I'm like, I'll be rejected over and over and over and over and over. Just constantly reject.

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[Jay Glaser]

And I had this thing where actually every week so for six days I got rejected. I covered the Giants, covered the NFL. Grinded, grinding grind. It's exhausted, swimming upstream. And again, I tell you, I'm real spiritual and I read in a prayer book the fourth commandment. God commands you to take a day off and drink some wine. So don't drive me with a good time. Right? Yeah, I take it literal. Every week I take one day and say, okay, whatever happened this past week, it's done. It's over. Like all the rejection, let it go. It's over. And I'm giving myself a day to heal. One day. And literally after that one day, I would look up, the guy said, okay, God, I'm not asking you to get me this job. I'm not asking you to help me win this Interview. And I think we do that too much. Right. I'm not asking you to get me money. All I'm asking is you can pick me up, brush me off. Let's keep walking this walk together.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah. Right.

[Jay Glaser]

So I've never felt fully alone. Right.

[Unknown]

Wow, that's beautiful.

[Jay Glaser]

It's. And I, and I didn't look at it as 11, an 11 year span of being rejected. I looked at it as 11 years of one week periods.

[Unknown]

Interesting. So it's much more easy to manage because I've been going for a decade and nothing's happening.

[Jay Glaser]

I have a thing in here it says you never know what lies around next Tuesday.

[Dexter Morgan]

Absolutely.

[Jay Glaser]

I was always hunting for that next Tuesday when something happened. So finally, 11 years in that Tuesday came.

[Unknown]

Wow. So he said, you can exhale. And what did he say? We got you a job.

[Jay Glaser]

He said, you finally got a full time job. I said, with who? He said, the NFL Today on cbs because they just got football back. I said. He said, you're going to be there, NFL Insider. I said, I'll take it. And he said, don't want to know how much it's for. And I said, I don't give a.

[Unknown]

It's more than what I'm making now, probably.

[Jay Glaser]

I said, and here gets the choked up part. I said, maury, this was my validation when I walked in that giant locker room all those years later. And I said, I'll be the last dude standing.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

This validated that. Like all this stuff I've done, all the rejection invalidated it. And I said to him, before you tell me the salary, if it took me another 10 years to get this, I would have done it. And it's, and it takes, and listen, it takes a lot out of you. It does beat your soul down. And it was for 50 grand a year. And it was the biggest thing that ever happened to me in my life. Like, so it's a long story there.

[Unknown]

But 2005, is that what that was?

[Jay Glaser]

No, no, no. 99. Oh, 99.

[Unknown]

When you got this Fox. Fox.

[Jay Glaser]

For 2004, I went to Fox.

[Unknown]

So five years later you got the Fox.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And that was more than 50K.

[Jay Glaser]

That was. Well, what happened when I got the 50 grand from CBS. And also that Internet thing came out, of course, which I think is going to take off. You should invest in it now. Yeah. And I became the first minute by minute breaking news guy in America. Me, John Clayton, who just passed away, and Lynn Pascarelli. We were kind of battling out. And no one did that back Then. So before us, there was no. It was. You had to wait for the newspapers the next day. And before us, there was no crawling bottom of the screen. So we started it. And so I got an extra 50 from CBS Sportsline to do that.

[Unknown]

Nice.

[Jay Glaser]

And another 25 or 35 from local CBS to do the Jets Giants. I went from 9,750 bucks a year to 135 grand. Yes.

[Unknown]

Pretty good coin back then, too.

[Jay Glaser]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown]

It was just 99. That's pretty good.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah. Yeah, it's good money. Yeah. But again, what I. What I realized is as I started moving up the ladder and in Fox saw me from cbs, which obviously way better fit. My wallet's not an antidepressant.

[Unknown]

It's not an antidepressant. What do you mean by that?

[Jay Glaser]

I thought when I made it big, big, big, there was gonna be rainbows and unicorns. That's why I worked so hard to. Man, look where I am now. I've had. Now I've had a lot of those moments. So it was definitely. There's two sides. It was. There's a lot that's better. I've been broke and I've been unbreakable.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right. Right.

[Jay Glaser]

Born you broke. There's a lot of things, like, I had nothing to lose.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

So I didn't have that fear of losing stuff. That anxiety. Now when you have all this, you're so horrified you're going to lose it.

[Unknown]

Really? So you have more anxiety now than then.

[Jay Glaser]

I think so. I think you just petrified to lose it all the time.

[Unknown]

It's like maybe that 2005 was when you went to Fox.

[Jay Glaser]

Yep.

[Unknown]

And there was more to lose then.

[Jay Glaser]

Well, now as I've gotten to this level. That's right.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

You know that home, more money, more problems thing. And it's all different type of problems, but I just think that. Yeah. When you get. When you work so hard and you finally do make it, you're so afraid to lose it.

[Unknown]

You don't lose it.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah. You almost. It's almost like fighting not to lose instead of win.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

So I've had to alter that. I've got to make sure I recognize it. Just go and, like, place for you. Yeah.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Just be me, you know? But it's. Look, it's. It's all. And a lot of it, too, is like, I don't think logically a lot because those roommates in my head don't like me to have joy. Like, don't. So anytime I want to enjoy something you don't deserve it. You're not worthy of it. So I think that's part of it also. I don't know if it's for everybody.

[Unknown]

Sure, it's part of.

[Jay Glaser]

For me. And listen, I'm a work in progress, man.

[Unknown]

Yeah, of course. We all are.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

I'm trying to learn to get there. That's why I'm, you know, I keep doing things like this to hope that, okay, maybe this is the thing that's going to help finally get me to meet in the middle.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

Where I could feel that worth from the inside out. And I. It's like, I know I'm worthy of being loved. So here's the crazy part. I know I'm worthy of it, but I don't feel like I deserve it. Really? No, it's probably the other way around. I feel like I deserve it, but I don't feel like I'm worthy of it. That's. That's it. Yeah. I'm kind of doing a little.

[Unknown]

When was the time you felt the most loved?

[Jay Glaser]

This isn't good because this isn't real love. But, like. Yeah. When I would, like, would break huge stories in the NFL and everybody be like, oh, my gosh, when, again, I was ahead of the game in this, and it was like, man, I was the first one doing this. It's like on a different. Like, I had the spy game video. That was a crazy time in my life that, you know, that was. That was my second week in fox, and that's the biggest scoop in the history of sports. The actual video, when the Patriots got caught, you know, filming the jets coaches.

[Dexter Morgan]

Sure.

[Jay Glaser]

And cheating. But you're asking me, like, the love that. That's not a real love.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

I felt admired. And people like, oh, my God, this is like, you know, this is. This is amazing. Amazing. But the most loved. I don't know. I don't know how to answer that question. Yeah, I don't know.

[Unknown]

You have a son, right? Lovely son. Or his friends or family. I mean.

[Jay Glaser]

But you said, I don't know how.

[Unknown]

You'Ve had the most love.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah, I don't know how to answer that.

[Dexter Morgan]

Interesting.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah. I don't. Like, I enjoy being with my friends. I love being with them.

[Unknown]

You don't feel loved?

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And I always feel like they're gonna catch on soon to this fraud that I am because I'm, you know, I'm this terrible person inside. And that's. That's what tells you a lot.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

That's why you.

[Unknown]

Why do you Think you're a terrible person.

[Jay Glaser]

That's what it tells me. I don't know.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah. But my mother asked me recently. She said, do you. Because she sees how exhausted I am from it. It's exhaust me.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And she said, how do you. And I told her how bad. And I won't say to her how bad I do view myself. She's like, what? She said, look at all the good you do. I said, I. I know, but I. I just don't feel that I deserve that right. And. Or worthy of that. And she said, that's the exhausting. And I said, so exhausting. So I said, mom, when I don't get right back to you, that's why, like, I'm going through it.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

Right. And it's. It is totally exhausting. So yet all I want to do is be loved. And then people kind of reach out and love me. I'm already so tired from.

[Unknown]

We can't receive the love.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

It's hard to receive it, man. Well, that was. That was your. One of the most proud moments, you said.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

When you got that phone call.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

What was the second and third most proud moments, would you say.

[Jay Glaser]

Man?

[Unknown]

And it can be a big thing. It could be a small thing. It can be.

[Jay Glaser]

I would say when I first started mvp, that was.

[Unknown]

That's pretty cool.

[Jay Glaser]

That's pretty cool. Having Having come out of that say like, man, thank you. You saved my life. Yeah, that's. That's got me a lot our. For. We have another employee named Denver Morris, who's my. Who's our national outreach director. We met him. He was living in a homeless shelter coming off his third suicide attempt.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

He's still. First time he told that man, you saved my life. Like, oh, my God. MVP saved my life. And those moments now I. There's a lot of those.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And those. Those get me. I had one two days ago from one of our guys here. Hey, brother, just checking in on you. Hope you're doing well. I'm coaching the weekend with a positive mindset. Love you, brother. Next time you look in the mirror, tell that guy thanks for saving. Wow. Tell that guy thanks for saving my life.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Unknown]

That's.

[Jay Glaser]

Grateful you've made this impact in the world. See, I can't, like, listen, I've. I'm a. You know, no one's questioning my manhood. I could cry in a drop of. You know, I could sit there like, oh, glazes. A wuss. He felt. But let's.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Think about that. To me But I would just read this to you. It's pretty. So these come in a lot. So there's a lot of proud moments now.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And it's. For me, being of service to people. It's. That's pretty cool.

[Unknown]

That's incredible.

[Jay Glaser]

It's pretty cool.

[Unknown]

That's beautiful. What do you see? I mean, you've accomplished so much in the last. Really in the last 20 years. I guess 23 years since you. I call it 30 years since you started the journey. For 11 years of going after the dream.

[Jay Glaser]

I look fantastic? Don't I look great, baby?

[Unknown]

And then, you know, getting the job, you know, the bigger job. And then, then on FOX and then hall of Fame and TV and all these, you know, unbreakable and all the thousands of athletes that you work with.

[Jay Glaser]

And don't forget bowlers and ballers.

[Unknown]

That's one of my favorite shows. You got a great role in that show. I know yourself.

[Jay Glaser]

Great looking Jewish reporter.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Jay Glaser]

And I didn't follow my lines because I couldn't remember them.

[Unknown]

So I just make it happen.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And I just mess with Dwayne. So that's the whole thing. Like, that's actually like. We've been close for a while, but we really started having mental health talks way back then. Really? Yeah. We get real vulnerable to each other.

[Unknown]

What's the biggest lesson DJ has taught you in the space of mental health and also in just life?

[Jay Glaser]

Matt. He is. He saw me a couple weeks ago on TV promoting this and he called, he said, what's up? So what do you mean? He said, I saw you today. I said, yeah. He said, what's wrong? And something was wrong. I was going through with another. An issue and he saw it. But the fact that he stepped away and saw that and he said, okay, I'm gonna call you four times a day. I got you, brother. And. But the biggest thing for him is may. He is like this authentic dude. He same thing. The likey. That dude thinks he's going to be broke next week. He literally thinks he's going to have seven bucks in his pocket again next week. And for me, we're a special. Here's the biggest star in the world. And yet we call each other and send each other notes and lean on. On each other for mental health almost every day.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

Whether it's. When I had that anxiety attack the other night, I reached out to him struggling and there was another issue I was going through. Hey, how did you handle this? And boom, when I had the book two again, he's like you're going to be that voice of the gray for all of us. And I'm going to put my team behind you also.

[Dexter Morgan]

Wow.

[Jay Glaser]

Because it's going to help you. It's going to help me, it's going to help a lot of us. It's going to help the next generation of Duanes and Js out there and stuff. So he's very selfless. He's incredibly selfless. And that's the biggest lesson I learned from him is you could be the biggest star in the world and be still be incredibly selfless.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Still just give, give, give. And I think he does so much charity work and all this work he does for people. Same thing. He's trying to show himself. I'm okay. Like when you work so hard and you get all that rejection that he did or I did or you did. Right. He's showing up stream all those years. It's exhausting.

[Unknown]

It is.

[Jay Glaser]

So, yeah. It takes it. It beats down your soul a lot. So we're there to love each other up, man. It's just so crazy. He became him my little niece who looks like Sasquatch.

[Unknown]

When did you first meet him? Have you guys known each other for.

[Jay Glaser]

A movie with him called the Game Plan Disney movie where I was just like. And I just started messing with again that the laughter part. I mess with everybody.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

And it just kind of stood out. Everybody else is like. And I was just. So when I go down and do ballers, like, he'd be over there with his team and then everybody else be over here. And I'm walking through and I'd be like, where's Sasquatch? I can't work like this. And I go through and you know, he would sit there and he would like, he'd have his lines. And I'm like, don't say it like that. He's like, who are you telling how to act? I'm like, I got this. What I do for a living. He's like, no, you don't. I'm just messing them. Or I would change my lines. They eventually had. It went from scripts they said to like Glazer scripts. At least for my size. They just knew that bullet point.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Just say something.

[Jay Glaser]

Wouldn't remember it. And I was being myself. So I would mess with them all the time. And we try and get a little. You know me, I run a fun locker room. So I try and make it rancid and dirty and kind of shock value. And they kept most of was great.

[Unknown]

You got a great little Cameo in there every time I see you. Yeah, it's pretty big, man.

[Jay Glaser]

It's pretty cool. It was. It was like. That was. That's the obviously Fox interval Sunday for me, every week is just incredible because that's our locker room.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

It's fun. And we sit back there and watch games together and just.

[Unknown]

It's pretty awesome.

[Jay Glaser]

Crush each other. And there's six of us on the show and there's 19 personalities and Bradshaw and I have 11 of those, so. But Ballers was so much fun.

[Unknown]

That's cool.

[Jay Glaser]

Because I probably could. I didn't care because I'm not an actor. Right.

[Unknown]

So I'm just gonna be myself.

[Jay Glaser]

Yeah. But I also know they're not fired me. I got this guy.

[Unknown]

Yeah. He's gonna keep coming in.

[Jay Glaser]

I'm okay.

[Unknown]

That's amazing.

[Jay Glaser]

And he would just be like, yeah, just keep rolling. I would just. So, I mean, I would say, yeah, 90% of my stuff probably wasn't. It was supposed to be scripted. I just didn't follow it.

[Unknown]

That's amazing, man. I'm really excited about people to get this book Unbreakable, how I turn my dep and anxiety into motivation. And you can too. This is powerful because I think a lot of people feel unmotivated when they have anxious thoughts, stress, depression, or just issues where they don't feel worthy, don't feel loved, don't feel enough. I know I faced a lot of that my life, but I was.

[Jay Glaser]

What was your turning point, man?

[Unknown]

I was driven. The thing is, I had a drive to prove everyone wrong about me. So everyone, you know, just being bottom of my class, special needs, picked on being kind of tall. You were the short kid. I was a. I was this tall when I was like 11, but not this built. So I was like this goofy, kind of like big eared, you know, big teeth. Just. They made fun of the appearance. So it wasn't until I really turned 16, 18, 20, where I started to fill out my body. So it's kind of like the opposite, you know, I was tall, but I was made fun of being tall. And so I just remember many moments being made fun of, picked last. And you know, on the playground, whatever it is, for little sports and just being like, I'm gonna prove everyone wrong who's made fun of me, who's doubted me.

[Jay Glaser]

Were you resentful to them? Do you want to get back at them?

[Unknown]

I just wanted to show them, look, I did something that they never thought I could do, and it drove me to get incredible results. And that it gave me motivation, but it was a motivation out of more anger and resentment than love and inspiration. And so I would accomplish and achieve. And then I transitioned from sports, and then I played with the USA handball team for nine years. Played them. You know, I don't know how your.

[Jay Glaser]

Knees held up in that.

[Unknown]

I know, right?

[Jay Glaser]

You kidding me?

[Unknown]

But I was like, I'm going to do this in sports. And then I did it in business. But then I hit a turning point at 30, I'm 39 now, where I was like, I'm accomplishing and accomplishing and accomplishing, but I still don't feel lovable. And I feel I don't feel enough. The turning point was facing the sexual abuse and talking about it and allowing myself to be vulnerable. And that's where everything shifted. Because I was in such a competitive mindset, I had to win at everything. I had to be the number one and win at everything at everyone else's expense of being a loser. And if I lost, then I was worthless. I was not good enough. Even if I broke the day, I broke the world record for the most yards in a game, we lost. So I was beating myself up for days.

[Jay Glaser]

Even though it's a good quality, though, because you lose, it's not. Yeah, I wasn't winning exactly. It's great quality. Yeah.

[Unknown]

But it wasn't until I hit 30, and I started down a healing journey of therapy and lots of different stuff where I said, it's not going to be about competition. It's going to be about collaboration. It's about how can I win and how can I get everyone else to win with me?

[Jay Glaser]

Yes.

[Unknown]

And that collaborative. And I didn't know collaboration was a thing. I knew teamwork was a thing, but not against someone else. Like collaboration. So now it's just like, how can I win by lifting everyone else up? How can I make you win? How can I shine the light on you? Put you on a platform, support your message, your mission to serve people. In return, good things are gonna happen. You know, good things are gonna happen to me, as opposed to I need to be the biggest show, the best show, the most successful in the world to make me feel good instead. How can I serve the world? And I feel great.

[Jay Glaser]

That that's the. And that's. That give. Give. Right. That loyalty. I talked about how it'd be and that, you know, whenever we train football players or. I've helped a lot of coaches kind of move up in the NFL ranks, and that's why I have this loyalty. But I always Tell them, listen, I know I'm crazy. You follow along, man, we'll change your grandkids lives.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah, Right.

[Jay Glaser]

So it's like we'll lift you to such stuff, but it's not. We don't get anything out of it.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

This is for you to change your kids. And when I do see that and this guy gets a head coaching job or makes a Pro bowl or just. Or starts getting up here where you can give back to charities, that again, when things happen to other people, you ask. So you. Your question was, what's the best thing that's happened to me? I don't see that. If you said to me, what's made you feel the best out of. It's when something's happened to everybody else. Like you were saying.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

You lift people up, then I have something tangible for me.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

Man, this has happened. That's happened. I walk this walk with this person. I've helped this person overcome this. They've gotten up here. Now that's. That's the key. That's really the key to success.

[Unknown]

Absolutely. The best thing that's ever happened to me that I think at this moment was learning how to heal my heart, because my heart was in a prison for so long, and it felt trapped and it felt painful and it felt tension and all these things and learning how to. And it's a journey. It's not like it's one night.

[Jay Glaser]

It's.

[Unknown]

It's all better. It's been like a journey of finding having more inner peace than I did stress, because it used to be all stress and anxiety and I couldn't sleep at night. It would just be up all night thinking, worrying, stressed. Learning how to find inner peace has been a game changer because I feel like I have more energy.

[Jay Glaser]

And look at. It's hard to see right now that we live in a good world.

[Dexter Morgan]

Right.

[Jay Glaser]

There's so much stuff. However, look at two guys right here, we're in sports who've talked down about sexual trauma, suicide, depression, anxiety, cry to hear. Yeah. So we are actually coming along a lot further in certain ways to make this world a better place. Like, that's our only. It's kind of our only hope moving forward for this next generation. Absolutely right.

[Unknown]

I think specifically for men who are holding on to trauma. I think in order for the world to heal and relationships to heal, I think men need to heal personally and start talking more like this.

[Jay Glaser]

And it's interesting because I thought obviously me being center of Judaism with, you know, football and fighting and ballers, I thought it was going to be a male centric book and oh yeah, it's majority female of like got this so they can and they're saying hey to their boyfriends or husbands and they're all just like yeah, that's not me. Yes you, it's definitely you. And that's why we gotta get dudes to get it. So like it's you dude. It's so you.

[Unknown]

You're telling me. I wrote a book five years ago called the Mask of Masculinity which was for men on how to open up.

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Go to square.comgogreatness to learn more. That's S Q A R E dot com go greatness square. Meet you there.

[Lewis Howes]

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Almost all 80 women bought it and try to give it to the men. But this is the challenge that we're gonna face where women are gonna hopefully bring this in and share with their guys more. And this is why we got to continue to be a Trojan horse, you know, talk about sports and do the rough and tough stuff, but slide in the vulnerability when we can, I think.

[Jay Glaser]

But it's. Were you able to make that switch over it, or is it still.

[Unknown]

Yeah, there's a long tail now where.

[Jay Glaser]

It'S like, you gotta take off here. You got to tell me.

[Unknown]

No, it's been great.

[Jay Glaser]

I was kind of shocked. I thought it was, you know, but it's. But, like, I had dinner recently, and there was a couple there I'm friends with, and this dude's a big dude, and his wife was sitting there with me. And his wife was like. She was just telling me what somebody said. Oh, just. Just wrote a book. And she's like. And we just talked about how Ms. USA just committed suicide. Who's the most beautiful girl in the world, Felt that lonely, that alone, right? And this woman said to me, that's me. That's how I feel. I said, well, talk to your teammate. He's right there. And she says, he won't get it. And I said, you deserve to have him understand what you're going through. You deserve this.

[Dexter Morgan]

At least try it.

[Jay Glaser]

Right? And she literally saying that she wants. I said, you need to. I called him over, and I said. And she said, we have some homework. And he said, I heard about his book. And she said, I do need you to read a couple of these chapters with me. So, like, that's good, man. Yes. But that's exactly. You're talking about. Took a woman.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

Of course. She's like, he won't get it. Well, dudes need to start getting it.

[Unknown]

Absolutely.

[Jay Glaser]

They need to start getting. They deserve to get it. Their wives and girlfriends and their moms and dads and children, they deserve from them to get it. But most importantly, the dudes themselves deserve it. They deserve not to be in this kind of pain that we're talking about.

[Unknown]

Absolutely.

[Jay Glaser]

I don't deserve this pain. I didn't sign up for it.

[Dexter Morgan]

I know.

[Jay Glaser]

Well, I could use it.

[Unknown]

You're working through it too. It's just beautiful.

[Jay Glaser]

I could use it, man.

[Unknown]

I've got two final questions for you before I ask them. I want people to get a copy of the book. Get it for your friends. If you have a friend that maybe is feeling more stressed or anxious, get them a copy to really inspire them. Follow you all over social media. You're mostly on Instagram, right? Is that the main place you're hanging out?

[Jay Glaser]

Twitter. Twitter.

[Unknown]

You're a lot of Twitter.

[Jay Glaser]

Instagram too.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jay Glaser]

IG following sucks. I don't know what I'm doing.

[Unknown]

You can share more on Twitter.

[Jay Glaser]

Well, I used to break stories on Twitter all the time, but now I try not to, not to look on social media because it just pulls me down.

[Unknown]

So. So follow.

[Jay Glaser]

Check.

[Unknown]

If you're in la, check out Unbreakable. It's an amazing gym. It's world class. It's so inspiring and it's going to get you another level of.

[Jay Glaser]

And it's a great community. It's the only gym in America. I have a therapist in there.

[Unknown]

That's incredible.

[Jay Glaser]

I hired a full time therapist in there.

[Unknown]

That's cool.

[Jay Glaser]

So because that's when like for me, after I'm done working out, is when I feel the most vulnerable. Going to talk.

[Unknown]

That is cool, man.

[Jay Glaser]

And our motto is, we build you from the inside out.

[Unknown]

Oh, that. I love that. I love that, man.

[Jay Glaser]

And there's not the only gym in America missing no mirrors.

[Unknown]

That's cool.

[Jay Glaser]

Because I don't want anybody's back turned to the rest of the team. If you're sitting there checking yourself out, you got your back turned to everybody else. So we really are. We build you up from the inside out.

[Unknown]

That is cool, man. So make sure you guys check that out. This is a question anybody can get in. Yeah, of course. This is a question I ask everyone towards the end of the show. It's called three truths. So I'd like you to imagine a hypothetical scenario.

[Jay Glaser]

Well, then it wouldn't be true.

[Unknown]

The scenario is it's your last day on earth, many years away. You get to live as long as you want to live. You get to accomplish everything. You put out more books. Whatever you want to do, you do it. But for whatever reason, you've got to take all of your books, this interview, video content, anything of you speaking, speaking or saying anything written, audio, video has got to go to the next place. So no one has access to your information anymore. Just memory. But you get to leave behind three lessons to the world. Three things you know, to Be true. And this is all we would have to remember you by. What would you say would be those three lessons or three truths?

[Jay Glaser]

Vulnerability is true strength. Oh, yeah, that's right out the gate. Vulnerability is true strength. The secret of success is at work in the world and being loyal. And the last one would be love yourself up. Yeah, we gotta give ourselves a break.

[Dexter Morgan]

Amen. All right.

[Jay Glaser]

Learn to love yourself up. Learn to love yourself up.

[Unknown]

That's beautiful. I want to. Before I ask the final question, Jay, I want to acknowledge you for going on this journey. I think it's really hard for men in general, but specifically a guy like you from Jersey in this world kind of growing up, you know, before me, when this stuff wasn't even talked about, to be able to open up about it, write a book, pour your heart out to the world, and really share a lot of rough stuff that you share in here and the vulnerabilities at the platform that you have. I think it's really inspiring. And you're allowing other men like you. You to be inspired to do the same with, you know, their communities, their families, or, you know, girlfriends, whatever it might be. So I really acknowledge you for. Thank you for doing the work, showing up, and being willing to not be perfect, not have it all figured out. You know what I mean? So it's a beautiful. It's a beautiful journey, man. I'm really. I'm really excited for you.

[Jay Glaser]

Like I said, I'm. Look, I'm trying to learn to love myself up. I'm trying to learn to be loved because, like, yeah, I. Like, that's all I want, is to be loved and have that love. Right? And I haven't felt worthy of it. So it's gotten the way of most of my. A lot of my relationships, and now I think I'm. If I can, you know, again, with this, the more I could do that, I could hopefully feel. Feel that worthiness, and I'll have that happiness. I've been kind of searching for it. Of course, man. It's coming.

[Unknown]

This is part of the process.

[Jay Glaser]

It's that journey there where probably wasn't. I couldn't recognize it years ago, but now that I'm talking about, like, this. This is the version of me that I do want somebody else to be with and me to do it. Absolutely.

[Unknown]

That's beautiful, man.

[Jay Glaser]

Thank you, brother.

[Unknown]

Final question. What's your definition of greatness?

[Jay Glaser]

Lifting somebody else up. Yeah, this isn't being cliche. Like, again, it's. It's. It's not success. And, like, a career. No, it's how you use wherever you have for somebody else. But it's like you see what some of the great, the great ones have done for what they've done with their platform. That's greatness. If you just do it for yourself, it's not greatness. You've just done a lot of really good stuff. You've accomplished some things, but it's not greatness. Greatness when you lift everybody else up, right? Like, listen, I, I said it in stray hands, hall of Fame speech. I said, you know, being a great player, you're, you know, you're great. But hall of Famer, you lift up everybody else around you. Yeah, that's what greatness is, lifting up everybody else around you.

[Unknown]

That's a great definition. I always say that success is what you do for yourself. Greatness is what you do for others.

[Jay Glaser]

There we go.

[Unknown]

Thank you so much for listening.

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's show with all the important links. And also make sure to share this with a friend and subscribe over on Apple Podcasts as well. I really love hearing feedback from from you guys. So share a review over on Apple and let me know what part of this episode resonated with you the most. And if no one's told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.

And now it's time to go out.

There and do something great.

[F]

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[Lewis Howes]

Not available Fab Metro with T Mobile.

[F]

In the past six months Tax supplies.