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The School of Greatness
How To Overcome ANY Adversity & Achieve Your Full Potential | Muniba Mazari
00:59:10
Muniba' Mazari's story of resilience and transformation is truly awe-inspiring. From surviving a devastating car crash that left her paralyzed to becoming Pakistan's first wheelchair-bound model and TV host, Muniba's journey is a testament to the power of the human spirit. In this episode, we dive deep into her experiences, exploring how she turned adversity into opportunity and found purpose through art and public speaking. Get ready to be inspired by Muniba's infectious positivity and her powerful message of self-acceptance and living a life of purpose!
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- [00:00]
Muneeba Mazari
Today I'm here to let you know that how in the face of adversity, I choose to stand tall every day while sitting in this wheelchair. We, all human beings are broken from the inside in some way or the other. And all we need is someone who can come up and say, you know what, I'm broken too. And that we are all in this together.
- [00:20]
Louis
Muneeba Mazari, Artist, activist and changemaker.
- [00:24]
Muneeba Mazari
The iron lady of Pakistan, a global.
- [00:26]
Icon of hope and perseverance. Muneeba Mazari, with the deformed hand being bedridden, started drawing and painting. And in that moment, I realized that thank goodness I did not have a plan B because this plan A kept me alive. Now you've got two choices. You can either sit in the corner of the room, look at your wounds, cry, and wait for a miracle to come and make you walk. Or you can just accept yourself the way you are and start living from now. And that's what I did. My message to the world is very simple. I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become every day.
- [01:04]
Louis
Give it up. Give it up.
- [01:09]
Muneeba Mazari
Oh, wow. What energy. What light. Thank you so much for your love and for your warmth. I have to say this that it's an absolute honor to be surrounded by such incredibly talented, positive and purpose driven people. All thanks to my very dear friend Louis and the incredible team of summit of greatness for making this very moment happen. This moment is magical for all of us because today we all have gathered here from across the globe to celebrate life. Something that we rarely do. Today, we all have gathered here to redefine the word strength. Today, we will redefine the word greatness. So let's begin. Well, I might be known as a motivational speaker, but I call myself a humble storyteller because I believe that each and every human story is unique and it holds the power to change perspectives. Our human stories are so powerful that they have the power to change mindsets. Human stories can change lives. Human stories can save lives. So today I'm going to share a story of a young girl with all of you. And it's the story about power of giving. How many of you believe in the power of giving that what you give out to the world? I'm surrounded by giving hearts. What an honor. So let's talk about the secret of giving. This little girl right there was taught by her mother at a very young age about the secret of giving. That what you give out to the world is what you receive, be it hurt, pain, or kindness, empathy and compassion. She was told by her mother that when you try to help someone unconditionally without expecting anything in return, God has his way of paying back. And God never forgets. All that compassion will come back to you when you least expect it and when you need it the most. This was the kind of household this girl was raised in. And then years went by. This young girl grew up and she started college. One day she went to her college and she saw a group of people from an organization. They were conducting a session and it was all about thalassemia awareness, a rare blood disorder. So the team was talking about how thalassemia can impact your life negatively and how blood donations can save those people's lives. This girl sat at the back and listened to the entire session. Towards the end, one of the team members said something so profound that it shook her to the core. The guy said, while you're sitting here thinking how terrible your life is and you're complaining about little things in life, a guy, a human being suffering from thalassemia major is dreaming to live one more day of your life. If you want to save a life, get up and donate blood. She got so emotional. She got up and she said, I am going to donate blood. I will save a life. And she did. She donated blood. And in return, she received the card which said, thank you today, your one bottle of blood has saved someone's life. When she read that card, she felt so happy and so fulfilled because in her heart she knew that this was the best she could do to help someone she didn't even know. And then years and years went by and the same very girl was in a terrible car crash. She was rushed to the hospital where all she could hear were the doctors screaming at the top of their lungs that we need one bottle of blood to save her life or she will die. But the problem was, her blood group wasn't matching, so nobody could step up and help her. So while she was taking her last breaths, staring at the ceiling, listening to the doctor saying, one bottle of blood we need or she will die. Out of nowhere, a stranger rushed into the room and he said, my blood group matches. I will donate blood and I will save her life. And when she heard those words in the flashback, she could read that card which said, thank you today, your one bottle of blood saved someone's life. And there she was on her deathbed. One bottle of blood from a stranger saved her life. This is the power of giving, that when you try to help someone unconditionally, all that goodness and compassion will come back to you when you least expect it and when you need it the most. And you know who that girl was? That girl was me. And this is my so today I'm here to tell you how this perfectly imperfect body of mine makes me what I am. Today I'm here to tell you that how, with time, I had to learn the art of converting my adversities into opportunities. Today, I'm here to let you know that we are not just the face or a body. We are free minds. We are free souls. And we have all the rights and all the power to dream big. And last, but not the least, today I'm here to let you know that how in the face of adversity, I choose to stand tall every day while sitting in this wheelchair. Life is a beautiful blessing. Life is a beautiful journey filled with so many highs and as many lows. And all these highs and lows and good and bad experiences make us who we are. But then there are some incidents which are so strong and so powerful that they change us as human beings, that they change our DNA. Those incidents are not just incidents. I call them blessings in disguise because they might break you physically, but they truly transform your soul. I was lucky enough to experience one of those incidents. About 16 years ago, I was in a horrific car crash. My car fell in the ditch, and because of that, I sustained numerous injuries. List is a bit long. It's a disclaimer. Please don't get scared. Radius and ulna of my right arm got fractured. My shoulder, bone and collarbone got fractured. My lungs and liver were badly injured because my entire rib cage got fractured and I had immense internal bleeding. But the injury that really changed me as a human being completely, an injury that really changed the perspective of life completely, was the spinal cord injury. Three vertebrae of my backbone got completely crushed. I was rushed to a hospital, where I was declared halfway down, paralyzed. Which means that there is no movement, there is no sensation in my lower limbs. So when I sit, I feel like I'm sitting on a cloud. And I've been using this wheelchair since then. Such is life. How in blink of an eye, everything changed. How in blink of an eye, I changed. At the age of 20, I was running around, living my life to the fullest. Dreaming big, aiming high. Little did I know that I'd be celebrating my 21st birthday in ICU. There you see the picture. Half fractured, half paralyzed. This is what life is. So unpredictable. And it was something that really made me realize that if you think about what you have lost, you won't be able to move forward. So you need to learn to heal yourself day by day. I stayed in the hospital for almost two and a half months. I underwent multiple surgeries. Doctors have put a lot of titanium in my arm. There's a lot of titanium in my backbone. And probably it's one of the many reasons why I'm known as the Iron lady of Pakistan, because I've got so much iron in my body. Every time I share the story of my pain with a smile on my face, I see people sitting in the audience smiling, and it just makes me so happy. But let me tell you something. It's never easy to be this strong. We all try to hide our flaws from the world. It's difficult to be an open book. It scares everyone. It scares me, too. But I do it anyway, because I know that we, all human beings are broken from the inside in some way or the other. And all we need is someone who can come up and say, you know what? I'm broken, too, and that we are all in this together. I stayed in the hospital for two and a half months, underwent surgeries, and I realized that healing does not happen to you overnight. Healing takes time. It's a rough journey, full of pain, full of turmoil, full of hurt, full of sleepless nights. And it was during my time in the hospital, when I was on my literally deathbed, I realized that hospital is a place where the world becomes so brutally honest to you. I remember the doctor who was supposed to fix my arm came in the room and said, well, I was having a word with your mother outside, and she said, you have always aspired to become an artist. I said, yes, sir. He said, well, your arm is totally deformed, and so is your hand. Do you have a plan B? And a girl who just celebrated her 21st birthday in ICU did not have a plan B. He looked at me and he said, I wish you all the best. And he left. A few days later, my spine surgeon enters the room and said, I have to tell you two things, and I want you to be strong. And I said, yes, go ahead. He said, your spine injury is dreadful, and I'm here to let you know that you won't be able to walk again. I will try to fix your back so that at least you can sit in the wheelchair for the rest of your life. And there is one more thing I want you to prepare yourself for. You will never be able to become a mother because of your internal injuries. And when I heard those words, I was Devastated. As a mom, as a woman, as a girl. This was not the kind of life I wanted to live. And I remember that night that I spent in ICU was the most painful night for me. My mother was standing next to my bed, and I looked at her, and I was crying and sobbing. I looked at her and I said, mom, you said, God loves me. Then why did you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this? Here I am, laying on deathbed, half fractured, half paralyzed. There's nothing to look forward to. I do not want to live. I'm done. And I cried. And I did all that I could, that we all do. I was hopeless. I was helpless. I was hurting myself. I was pulling my hair. I did everything to hurt myself and to end my life. And my mother was standing there like a stone, holding my hand tight. And when I was done crying and sobbing, she held my hand. And she said, seeing my only daughter paralyzed paralyzes me too. But I'm here to remind you that this will pass because nothing lasts forever, neither grief nor joy. And one day will come that you will be shown. Why were you chosen for this test? So be patient. But the problem with such dark moments is that when we are in the darkest of the moments, nothing makes sense to us. My mother said something so profound, but it did not make any sense at that time. A few weeks later, my brothers came in the room, and they had colors and canvases and sketchbooks in their hands. And they said, listen, if you are done venting and crying, get up and draw and paint something. Nobody's going to judge you. You have to kill time, so do it creatively. And I just hated them. Dude, I'm a patient. Treat me like a patient. They said, get up and just do your work. We are done with this now. And bless their kind hearts, this was the best decision of my life. With the deformed hand being bedridden, I started drawing and painting. And in that moment, I realized that, thank goodness, I did not have a plan B, because this plan A kept me alive. It was through art that I was able to escape. It was so therapeutic that without saying a single word, I was creating and I was drawing, and I was sharing my story of pain, trauma, and suffering. I got discharged from the hospital after two and a half months. And then I was shifted in my room, where I stayed bedridden for another two years because I developed massive pressure sores on my body. And I had so many infections in my body. Sores were not healing, infections were not leaving. So I was supposed to stay bedridden for another two years. The only thing that kept me going and kept me alive was art. I kept painting, I kept drawing. And my mother was stacking up all that artwork underneath my bed where I was bedridden for so long. It was through art that I could free myself from all the hurt, from all the pain. And it was the only source of colors in my life. And one fine day, all sores healed and infections disappeared and I was able to sit for the first time in my wheelchair after two years and two and a half months of being bedridden. That moment was special for me. And I call that moment the moment of rebirth. I remember when my brothers brought the wheelchair inside the room. I hated my brothers then and I hated that wheelchair. I could not fathom the fact that this wheelchair is going to be my only reality for the rest of my life. This was not the kind of life I wanted to live. But I had no choice. So they made me sit on the chair and then they left. Because they knew that it's my moment. I remember I looked at myself in the mirror. And the person that you see in this picture is me. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I just could not recognize myself. I was so weak, I was so pale, I was so underweight. My hair was all chopped off because I couldn't brush or shampoo my hair. So we had to chop it off. I looked at myself and I hated that sight. I just could not recognize the person.
- [17:11]
I was looking at.
- [17:13]
And I cried for hours and hours. And then I was tired of crying. I looked at myself again in the mirror and I said, you know what? The damage is done and it's not getting better and it's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong to deserve this. Now you've got two choices. You can either sit in the corner of the room, look at your wounds, cry, and wait for a miracle to come and make you walk. Or you can just accept yourself the way you are and start living from now. And that's what I did. I chose option number two. I decided to live and breathe again. It was in that moment of rebirth I realized that I had to face the weakest me to find the strongest me. I had to refind myself and then I had to refine myself. And it was not easy. Self acceptance is a long journey. Self respecting is a long journey. Self love takes time. And I realized that I was trying to love myself and accept myself and accept my reality. But there was something that was Stopping me from being the best version of myself. And that was a long list of fears. The fear of known and the fear of unknown.
- [18:48]
So I sat down.
- [18:50]
Well, metaphorically I sat down and I wrote down all the fears that were stopping me from being me. The biggest fear that I had to overcome was facing people. Coming from a public speaker is quite ironic, but it's true. I was scared of facing people. Not because I did not want to go and greet people, but I was sick and tired of listening to the mean comments like, she must have done something wrong, that's why God punished her. She's too pretty to be in the wheelchair, or she is a woman who cannot reproduce. What a waste. I've heard all of these remarks and comments. I was tired of being treated as a patient and I wanted the world to know that I'm not just this face or body. This wheelchair is a part of me. And that's not the only thing about me. There's so much more to this human being. But I also knew for a fact that I have to go out and about to change perceptions about disabled people. And I had to get stronger with that. And while I was thinking of overcoming this fear of facing people, I got a call from TEDx and they said, we have seen your pictures on social media, we have seen your artwork on social media. Why don't you come and give a talk and share your life story with the world? And without skipping a heartbeat, I overcame that fear and I said, yes, I will do it. And there I was at the center stage at TEDx, my very first talk ever that I gave about 10 years ago. And when I gave this talk, I remember right after the talk, a girl from the audience came to me and she was crying and she gave me a hug and she said, thank you. Today your 10 minute TED talk has solved 10 problems of my life. I was complaining about little things in life and I was at the verge of giving up. But because of you, I will not give up. If you are that person and you're sitting here right now, I'm here to let you know that you're not alone, that I was sent here for you and this message is for you. And in the darkest of the moments, remind yourself that you are the hero of your own story. And heroes never give up. So chin up and keep fighting.
- [21:27]
Louis
When did you start to overcome self doubt and start to actually be way more confident than you've ever been before?
- [21:35]
Muneeba Mazari
You know, that's what self acceptance does. It works wonders. And you know, the journey of Self.
- [21:41]
Acceptance is never easy because we are.
- [21:43]
So scared, all of us. We have fears. Fears of known, fear of unknown. And how I accepted myself like is a story. So what happened was when my sores got healed and I managed to sit for the first time after two years and two and a half months, I literally forgot how I used to look on a bigger mirror because I couldn't see myself in a big mirror.
- [22:07]
Louis
So you were laying down most of the two years?
- [22:10]
Muneeba Mazari
Yes, I just could not sit because I had massive sores on my back and I just could not sit. So I still remember the day, you know, when my brothers brought the wheelchair in my room and I was in the bed, looked at the wheelchair, and it just hit me at that moment that this wheelchair is my reality now. Not for a week, not for a month, not for a year, but for the rest of my life. This is my reality. So they lifted me and they put me in the wheelchair. And they somehow knew that I needed some space because I was about to meet the new me after so long. And they left the room and there I was sitting in the wheelchair, facing the mirror, looking at myself. Oh, God, that was.
- [23:05]
Louis
What did you see?
- [23:07]
Muneeba Mazari
Not a really blissful sight, you know, because I looked at myself with all the chopped off hair because my mother had to cut my hair because we couldn't wash the hair. When I was bedridden, I was so weak. I had massive dark circles and I was literally trembling because of weakness because I sat after so long, I could not actually sit. So when I looked at myself in the mirror at my lowest, I hated that sight. So what I did was there was this lipstick on the table. I picked it up and I applied it and I looked at my face and I said, what am I even trying to do? I'm trying to look pretty. Do I even realize that I'm in a wheelchair and women in the wheelchair don't need to look pretty? I cleaned it and I applied it.
- [23:59]
Again and cleaned it again.
- [24:01]
And then I cried like a child because I could not accept what I had become. And while I was crying, you know.
- [24:10]
This was my journey of self acceptance.
- [24:12]
And while I was crying, I realized that I have two options. I can sit in the corner of the room and cry and, you know, beg people for their attention, for their mercy. But you know what? People don't have time. When you laugh, the world laughs with you. When you cry, you cry alone. Or I can wait for a miracle to come and make me walk. But I knew it's never going to Happen or I can just accept myself.
- [24:41]
The way I am.
- [24:42]
Whatever mess I was at that point, just accept yourself and move on. And when that happened, everything changed, Louis. Because when you accept yourself the way you are, the world recognizes you. And I think that self talk that matters. When you are looking at yourself in the mirror without makeup, without filter, it's just you with yourself. The conversation that you have with yourself at that point is the most meaningful, profound and life changing conversation.
- [25:16]
Louis
Why do you think so many people are broken in the world who maybe aren't in a wheelchair, who have able bodied, let's say don't have a disformed body or something, but they're broken. Where do you think that brokenness is coming from for so many people?
- [25:36]
Muneeba Mazari
Too many expectations from people. Too many expectations. You know, we want to get into a relationship because we want happiness. We want to feel complete, right? Soulmates. No, you are your own soulmate, period. You know, if you are not in a good relationship with yourself, you will be miserable even if you are in a relationship with someone. That's why people are broken. My happiness cannot be taken by someone because my happiness does not come from someone. Nobody is giving me my joy. I am the reason of my own joy. If we manage to understand this tiny little truth about life, we will heal. And time doesn't heal you. You heal you. You need to sit down with yourself and think, do you love yourself enough? You know, and if you love yourself enough and you believe in self love, no external force will ever be able to break you.
- [26:42]
Louis
How do we learn to love ourselves if we have been telling ourselves for so long? I'm not lovable, or I had this accident, or you know, I went through a breakup in a relationship and they left me, or they abandoned me or whatever it might be. How do we, how do we not let outside factors dictate our feelings about ourself and. And not let the fear of abandonment of people or people's love hold us back from loving ourselves?
- [27:16]
Muneeba Mazari
Yes, the fear of abandonment, we all have that and we need to overcome this fear. You know when I always say when wrong people leave, right things start to happen and we all are living a life story. You have your own story. I have my story. My brothers have their story.
- [27:36]
My mother has her own story.
- [27:38]
And when you find yourself in the wrong story, just leave. If someone is not adding value to your life story, or if you are not adding value to someone's life story, leave. Sometimes it takes letting go to realize we're holding on to nothing. We are too busy clinging on to those relationships which are not meant to be in our journey, you know, and that's why I say that these people are so toxic with time. They become so toxic for you that you know what? Your presence in their life is their only definition. And they will never want you to leave because they are so weak. They want to stay in your shadow. So you need to pick and choose. This person is toxic. Leave. Liberate yourself by setting all these extra people free who do not belong to your journey, you know? And these people will always weigh you down. And if there's something is weighing you down, how will you fly? High, you know, and fear of abandonment. If you can manage to overcome this fear again when you are on your own completely, that is where you will understand that solitude is very powerful.
- [28:57]
Louis
So powerful.
- [28:58]
Muneeba Mazari
It's very powerful.
- [28:59]
Louis
Yeah.
- [28:59]
Muneeba Mazari
You know, because even in that silence, you're having a conversation. I mean, there is no energy vampire around me. I'm on my own, and I'm manifesting the best things for myself. I would never trade my solitude to anything, because when I am alone on my own, I am the best version of myself.
- [29:22]
Louis
Really?
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Muneeba Mazari
Because I'm kind to myself. Yes.
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Louis
You're kind to yourself.
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Muneeba Mazari
Yes.
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Louis
How much time did you spend alone after the accident?
- [29:37]
Muneeba Mazari
So I have this really cool habit. I switch off. So even when I'm surrounded by a lot of people, I'm actually not there.
- [29:47]
Most of the times.
- [29:48]
Louis
Really?
- [29:49]
Muneeba Mazari
Yes. I'm just thinking, you know what? Recently I was thinking about something that when I was talking about how this beautiful balance of strength and vulnerability makes us who we are. I was thinking about it the other day that I experienced this balance on daily basis. You know, when I see my social media, you know, when I read emails and people sending beautiful messages that, you know, how your words have empowered us. And, you know, because of you, we're never going to give up. It gives me so much strength, you know, And I say to myself, oh, my God, I'm so strong. And then at the nighttime when I'm thirsty, I'm unable to get up and get a glass of water for myself. Right. That's my reality and how wonderful I am at that moment. So this strength and this vulnerability makes us who we are. So I need to have my own moment with myself where I am willing to understand myself better. That if I am vulnerable, that's okay. I'm strong too. And the perfect balance of these two things make me who I am.
- [30:59]
Louis
Mm. I'm so fascinated by your story. And every time I see your content. It makes me smile. Every summer, see you post a video or a photo. I'm always just rooting for you. I'm so excited for you and your life and the impact you make. And you are so much more talented than just an artist. At first you wanted to be an artist, and then you thought you couldn't be. You were like, these don't look good. But now you're, you know, selling your art, your arts and galleries. It's really inspiring. But you're also a massive activist. You're, you know, a TV anchor model. You did modeling, you sing, and you're a speaker, and you motivate millions of people around the world. You could have not done any of it. You could have said, I just want to be an artist and just go after that one thing, but you decided to go for more. What, when and why did you say, I want to start sharing this story and start putting this message out there in a bigger way and revealing these things about yourself that maybe you were scared to do.
- [32:05]
Muneeba Mazari
You know, I remember when I gave my very first Talk. That was TedX. And it actually happened when I decided and I manifested that I'm going to overcome the fear of facing people. It's so ironic that a public speaker was once scared of facing people.
- [32:20]
Louis
I was for sure.
- [32:21]
Muneeba Mazari
Yeah, I know.
- [32:22]
So what happened was I gave my very first TED Talk. And after my TED Talk, a girl from the audience, she came to me and she was crying and she said.
- [32:32]
Can I give you a hug?
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And I said, sure. So she gave me a hug and she said, Your 10 minute TED talk has solved 10 problems of my life. And she said, today you made me realize that those 10 problems never existed. They were just in my head. And I was overthinking. And because of you, I'm never going to give up. You know, in that moment, in the flashback, I could hear my mother saying, one day God will show you how did he choose you out of so many for this test? And that was the moment of realization that, you know, what if my words can change someone's perspective, maybe this is my true calling in life, you know, and as they say that, in the end, what matters is how many lives you have touched. So art is my comfort zone, Louis. You know, I can sit in the corner of my room in a cozy environment, have a cup of coffee and paint and sell the work, make both ends meet, pay the bills, raise my son and live. But I mean, is that enough? It's not enough, because comfort zone is a good place to be, but nothing ever grows there. So if you really want to grow as a person, if you really want to learn and unlearn, we need to tap on all the abilities that we have. We are so blessed with immense potential which remains untapped because we are too busy doing 9 to 5, we are too busy paying bills, and we live the same routine for so many years, and then we end up calling it life. It's not life. It's not. You know, I realized later that, you know, I was labeled as the first wheelchair bound model, the first wheelchair bound singer, the first wheelchair bound anchor, first wheelchair bound, you know, and it was so much rubbed in my face that I said, you know what? I might be the first one to do all this, but I wouldn't be the last.
- [34:27]
I had to pave path for so.
- [34:29]
Many people who are supremely talented, who are differently abled, who are supremely talented. But maybe, maybe they were just a bit scared to take the first step. I took the first step. I broke those barriers. At least I tried, you know, and now I see a lot of young boys and girls doing amazing work. Why? Because now it's normal. It's normal for a wheelchair user to smile. It's normal for a wheelchair user, may it be a boy or a girl, to look good, to wear lipstick, to look nice, you know, to face the world. It's normal now. And even right now, when being an anchor person, you know, I'm working for the national TV of Pakistan, and when I'm doing my show, I'm always thinking about that little boy or girl, you know, sitting in a far flung village watching my show. And I think about them that, you know, they might be thinking that if a girl or a woman in a wheelchair can do this, we can do that too, you know, and that's what it is. So one day I feel, Louis, that the day I will leave the world, you know, a lot of people will see my reflection in these young boys and girls who are unique, who are different, who were scared once, but now they're not anymore.
- [35:47]
Louis
Yeah. Speaking of young boys and girls, you know, in your videos online, you talked about how after the accident the doctor said that you wouldn't be able to have kids. Isn't that right?
- [36:01]
Muneeba Mazari
Yes.
- [36:03]
Louis
Was that a. Was that really like a shock and very devastating for you? And if so, why was that so devastating? And what did you do about it to change that narrative?
- [36:14]
Muneeba Mazari
It was devastating. Yes, definitely it was. You know, we live in a society where if women, you know, it's A bit of truth. A lot of people will hate me to say that, but I have to say it because I've experienced that if a woman is unable to reproduce, if a woman is unable to be a mother, she's labeled as a useless woman. Oh, she cannot give birth to a child. She's incomplete. Right. And this is not changing. I hope one day things will change, but it's not changing for women. And, you know, the first thing that came to my mind was that, oh, my God, I loved kids. I will never be able to have a child, but people are not going to accept me because at that point, I was married and I cannot have kids. Disaster. You know, how will I tell the world that even if I cannot give birth to a child, I can still love a child unconditionally? You don't have to give birth to a child to be a mother, you know? And so what happened was, again, that was my biggest fear, that I wanted to have children. I wanted to have at least one child. So what I did was I adopted a child. And that baby was. My son's name is Niall. He was a few days old when I held him for the first time in my arms. You know, when I held him for the first time, it actually made me feel that, you know, he was the fruit of all the pain that I've been through.
- [37:46]
Louis
Wow.
- [37:47]
Muneeba Mazari
So, yes.
- [37:49]
Louis
What's been the biggest lessons he has taught you and motherhood has taught you?
- [37:54]
Muneeba Mazari
Oh, motherhood is all about unconditional love. It's all about that. You know, a woman in a wheelchair can be a mother. A woman who cannot see her child can be a mother, you know, so you cannot define motherhood in words. It is just all about being unconditionally in love with a child, whether you have given birth to that child or not. I mean, probably my eyes. My eye color does not match my son's eyes, but I see my reflection in his eyes every day. And this little boy who is now 11, he is such an inspiration. I have learned so much from him, you know, so much from him. You know, one thing I've learned from Niall is that kids don't judge. They don't. You know, and I've shared this many times. I'll share this with your audience. Also, that he was about 4 years old. You know, he has. He's obsessed with soccer. He loves football. So we got him his first football. And he was so excited, you know, so much so that he actually forgot that I'm in the wheelchair. So he said, mom, I got My football. Let's play football. And I said, yes, let's do it. So he kept the football in my feet and he said, mom, kick the ball. And I looked at him and I said, niall, my legs don't work.
- [39:13]
Louis
Wow.
- [39:14]
Muneeba Mazari
You know, and I, you know, I just started crying a little bit, and I was acting all cool, but he could sense that, you know what, My mom is hurting. And he looked at me and he said, it's okay. Your legs don't work.
- [39:25]
Your hands are working.
- [39:26]
Let's play catch the ball, you know? And in that moment, he made me realize that when we are busy thinking about the glass is half empty, he made me realize that, no, think positive, because your glass is half full. And so that's how we play.
- [39:42]
Instead of playing football, we were playing catch the ball.
- [39:46]
Louis
I love this. I love this story. Can you wheel the wheelchair and kick it with the wheelchair? Can you kind of turn it and hit it a little bit?
- [39:56]
Muneeba Mazari
No, no, I'm too scared, honestly. You know, sometimes it tips over and it just scares me so much. So, yes, no adventures on the wheelchair for me.
- [40:05]
Louis
Oh, man. It falls over sometimes.
- [40:07]
Muneeba Mazari
It does.
- [40:08]
Louis
Really? Is that how. What is that? What is that like when it falls over?
- [40:14]
Muneeba Mazari
You have to be in the wheelchair.
- [40:17]
To understand how you feel.
- [40:18]
Louis
Oh, man. That's scary. Oh, man. One of the things we talked about before we started this was the power of identifying your fears, creating a list of your fears. You talk about this in one of your videos where there was a point of your life where you were just afraid of everything. You know, lots of different things you're afraid of. Can you talk about the importance and what you did to just overcome fear after fear and what that did for you, that exercise of overcoming them.
- [40:51]
Muneeba Mazari
So I'll tell you something. I'm talking about self acceptance, you know, accept yourself the way you are. It's never easy. I think the biggest obstacle is long list of fears. All sorts of fears, known, unknown. My biggest fears were three. They were my major fears. So I wrote them down and I said, you know what? I'm going to overcome these fears one at a time. My biggest fear was facing people, you know, and when I used to. Now when I say this to the world that, you know, I was scared of facing people, people think I'm being funny, but no. And it's not the fact that I did not want to see people or I just hated people. That's why I didn't want to see them. You know, I was tired of, you know, those remarks like, oh, poor Girl, you know, I was tired of being treated as a patient. Oh, how do you feel? I feel the same. Ask me more about what I'm doing in life right now. You know, and this mercy in their eyes, that, oh, poor girl, that really, you know, that was killing me from within. And I said, you know what? I'm going to overcome this fear facing people. And, you know, maybe one day they will understand that I'm okay. I'm okay the way I am now. I've accepted myself. So please, you need to accept me too. You know, and as they say that when you think about doing something, the universe conspires. While I was thinking constantly about how can I overcome this fear of facing people? How can I do this? I was going to the malls, I was doing groceries, but that wasn't enough. Out of the blue, I got a call from TEDx. And, you know, so the guy said that, you know, we really want you to come and share your story. And without missing a second, I said, I'm doing it. So that's how I gave my very first TED Talk. And in fact, while I was giving the talk, you know, I was sharing my life story with the world. You know, there I was, sitting in front of so many people and sharing my story, thinking, what am I doing? You know, I'm literally becoming an open book. And everybody can come and say things to me because, you know, here I am.
- [43:02]
Louis
They can judge you. Yeah, they can do whatever.
- [43:05]
Muneeba Mazari
Yeah, of course. Right. But then I realized that maybe, you know, someone somewhere in the audience needs my words. So I'll do it for that one person. And then later, that girl came from the audience. And in that moment, I realized that, you know, probably being speaker is my true calling in life. Maybe, you know, then the other biggest fear was the fear of not becoming a mother. And I was constantly thinking about it, that, you know, how. How can I work? And then I sat down with my mother one day and I said, mama, I want to adopt a child. And, you know, but I was scared, you know, being a wheelchair user. I said, you know, maybe, you know, it will be hard. And my mother said, I'm with you. We'll raise him together. You know. And so I said, can we do this? She said, yes, let's do it. And that's how. So I applied for adoption. I waited for two years, you know, and then one fine day, out of nowhere, I got a call. The lady said, there is a baby boy, and would you like to adopt?
- [44:08]
I said, is that even a question?
- [44:10]
Of course.
- [44:11]
Yes.
- [44:11]
So that's how Niall came in my life. And then the other biggest fear was abandonment. As we were talking earlier, what happens when people leave? Trust me, nothing happens. We are so scared of abandonment that again, when you let go of all the extra people, you realize that you never needed them. You just never needed them, you know? So have a good relationship with yourself and you will never be scared of abandonment. So when I overcame this fear of facing people, I became a speaker or whatever things I'm doing. When I overcame the fear of motherhood, I became a mother, you know? So that's what it is.
- [44:54]
Louis
Why do you think so many people are afraid to be alone? This is kind of like this fear. I don't want to die alone. I can't, you know, go day by day without having friends around me all the time. I can't. I can't be alone. I can't go to dinner by myself. I can't go to the movie by myself. I can't walk down the street alone. Why is there this insecurity or fear that so many people have?
- [45:16]
Muneeba Mazari
Because we forget that we came in the world with nothing and we live with nothing. We came alone. Crying.
- [45:23]
Louis
Yes.
- [45:24]
Muneeba Mazari
And when we were born, we were in pain, right?
- [45:28]
And we were crying.
- [45:28]
That was the sign of life. Oh, the baby is alive because the baby is crying and the baby is in pain. And when we leave, we are alone. So many people have left. Life does not stop. Right. We are designed because we are social animals. Right. We human beings are social animals. We need to socialize. The problem comes. Problem is not with the relationship. The problem is the expectations that we have with our partners. That my spouse has to make me feel good.
- [46:01]
Louis
Yeah.
- [46:02]
Muneeba Mazari
It doesn't work that way.
- [46:04]
Louis
It doesn't.
- [46:05]
Muneeba Mazari
Your spouse is a human being too. Fighting battles you are doing too. Again, if you two are not complementing each other, your life will become miserable. And also, there's one thing that I've noticed. People are competing. I mean, two people in a relationship are not complimenting each other. They're competing with one another. This is so silly.
- [46:28]
Louis
Yes.
- [46:29]
Muneeba Mazari
I mean, you are supposed to compliment each other, you know, but you guys are competing with each other. And no wonder why so many people are so broken. So broken. Either they switch to the new relationships like that, because, oh, my God, what will happen if we are all by ourselves? Trust me, nothing happens. You know, this global pandemic has taught us a lesson, you know, and that is, by the end of the day, we are all on our own. So if you want to heal from COVID you have to live with yourself. And you know why people were so scared of being on their own? Because they have never spent time with themselves.
- [47:16]
Louis
I know.
- [47:17]
Muneeba Mazari
For so long. Right. And they were just so scared. But let me tell you something. Being a wheelchair user, I have spent so much time on my own and it did not kill me. So when you sit with yourself, you realize, oh, I'm actually a good company for myself and that's it. So you go, you meet people, you socialize because it's fun, but not because you need to do it, but because you want to do it. That's what it is.
- [47:51]
Louis
And I think there's this, you know, there's this thing where we shouldn't be abandoning ourselves. We don't need to be at an event or be in relationships with people if they are constantly toxic like you said, or if they're making us wrong or bad, or if they're not accepting us. That's really a form of self hatred. If we keep putting ourselves in those situations and we abandon the love for ourselves, the boundaries we need to create to have the environment of peace and love and joy. So I think it's important for us to remember that like we don't have to keep showing up in situations where people are trying to hurt us. We can protect ourselves and not abandon ourselves.
- [48:32]
Muneeba Mazari
Yes. Like Maya Angelou says, when people show you their true colors, believe them.
- [48:37]
Louis
Yeah, absolutely.
- [48:39]
Muneeba Mazari
Do not justify their toxicity. Oh, you know, my spouse is being overprotective. You know what, because she's so much in love. No, that's toxic, that's bad. And it's only going to get worse, you know, so be, be aware. When people show you their true colors, believe them.
- [48:58]
Louis
Yes. Why do you think for people who might feel stuck in their life, might feel some type of brokenness, whether it be emotional, emotionally or physically. And they say, I don't know how to go after my dreams. What advice would you give to people who are struggling to figure out what their dreams are and also how to go after them?
- [49:23]
Muneeba Mazari
First and foremost, we have this constant pressure of over achievement thanks to social media. Why? Because everybody's posting about something great. You know, I achieved this, I achieved that. Oh my God. Hashtag global trotter. Wait, I cannot afford to buy a ticket. I cannot go anywhere. What am I supposed to do? Right. When you see people posting, rather bragging about what they have done in their lives every day, projects after projects, you question yourself. Am I doing enough? Am I good enough? Is my life meaningful enough? Right. But let me tell you something. Social media is all about the good stuff. Nobody is going to post about their daily struggles. When I try to sit every day in the morning because my back muscles don't work, I fall back. Then I try to get up, I fall back, and it happens, it continues. So basically, I start my day as a failure because I just cannot sit on my own without the help of my mother. But my social media doesn't show that. It's all about inspirational things. Right. So please, you don't have to be an overachiever every day.
- [50:41]
Louis
Yeah.
- [50:41]
Muneeba Mazari
Sometimes just waking up in the morning and not giving up on yourself is a huge achievement.
- [50:46]
Louis
Absolutely.
- [50:47]
Muneeba Mazari
You know, and I do it every day. You do it every day. We all do that. So appreciate it and be kind to yourself.
- [50:54]
Louis
Yeah.
- [50:54]
Muneeba Mazari
And you were talking about people dreaming. I always say one thing, that dreams don't work unless you do. You know, there is no such thing as overnight achievement. No. If it comes easy, it goes easy. I can sit in the corner of the room and daydream all day long, but nobody's going to come and serve success on plate.
- [51:14]
Louis
Right?
- [51:15]
Muneeba Mazari
Right. So I have to be optimistic, but I have to be realistic too. I need to work to get my dreams and that's it. And what I have learned so far, Louis, is the attitude of gratitude works wonders. Just be grateful because you are way, way better than many. You know, it is so powerful that gratitude has the power to turn what you have into enough. You know, gratitude will never let. It will never turn your pain into suffering. It will never, you know, and so be grateful for all the things that you have, for the things that you don't have or you have lost. Just be grateful.
- [51:56]
Louis
You've got an amazing YouTube channel. I love your stuff on Instagram, your website, muneebamazari.com and also your name on social media everywhere. But one thing I want to do is figure out how can. How can people see your art and purchase your art? Where can we go to learn more about this? Because I've. I've seen some of it online. I think it's really inspiring. And I want to send people to your artwork because I think it's beautiful what you create.
- [52:25]
Muneeba Mazari
Thank you.
- [52:27]
Well, you can just drop an email. I don't know. This question came out of nowhere.
- [52:32]
Louis
So I was like, okay, is there artwork on your website where people can purchase or where can we find it?
- [52:38]
Muneeba Mazari
Yes, my artwork is on my website. So what you can do is if you have some queries, you can just send an email askmunibamazarimail.com and my team will get back to you.
- [52:47]
Louis
Okay, cool. And can we. Is there stuff for sale online right now if we wanted to purchase it, or do you just do custom work or how does it work?
- [52:56]
Muneeba Mazari
A lot of work is still available.
- [52:57]
Yes.
- [52:58]
Louis
Okay. Perfect.
- [52:59]
Muneeba Mazari
Yes.
- [53:00]
Louis
Okay. I want to send people to your artwork. I want you to. I want people to have more of your art in their homes or in their offices around the world.
- [53:07]
Muneeba Mazari
So thank you, Louis.
- [53:08]
Thank you.
- [53:09]
Appreciate it.
- [53:09]
Louis
Of course. It's really beautiful stuff. This is a question I ask everything, everyone, at the end of my interviews. So I would like you to imagine a hypothetical scenario that you get to live as long as you want to live and accomplish and achieve and serve in the way you want to serve to the world. And you get to live your life the way you want, right? But one day, you have to go to the next place. You have to leave this earth. And for whatever reason, in this hypothetical scenario, you have to take all of your work with you, this interview, your videos, your content. It has to go to the next place. So we don't have access to your information and this message anymore. It's hypothetical. But you get to leave behind to the world three lessons that you've learned from your entire life experience. And these three lessons is all we would have to remember your content by. I call it the three truths Question. What would be again, without you preparing for this? What would be those three truths or three lessons you would share if that's all you could share?
- [54:24]
Muneeba Mazari
Well, I would want the world to know what real success is. Everybody wants to become successful. My definition of success is different. Success is not about how well people know you. Success is how well you know yourself.
- [54:41]
Louis
Ooh.
- [54:43]
Muneeba Mazari
Right? So know your. Just know yourself. If you know yourself, you are successful. And secondly, be grateful. I wish I could say it a thousand times, but gratitude works wonders when you are too busy complaining about what you don't have. Think about a child who is suffering from thalassemia who is waiting for one bottle of blood and dreaming to have a life that you have. But you know what? You're too busy complaining. The breath that you just took right now, that's a blessing. Be grateful. You have survived a global pandemic. We are sitting here having a conversation. So many people have left the world. We are still here. Be grateful. So, gratitude. The attitude of gratitude works wonders, you know? And last but not least, I've said this a thousand times, and I'll say it again, that you are the hero of your own story. Heroes never give up. So just don't give up and keep going.
- [55:57]
Louis
Mmm. Muneeba. I love this. I want to acknowledge you, Muneeba, for your incredible grace. When I look at you, when I see your information online, when I hear you speak the word grace comes to mind how you've overcome the challenges in your life in such a graceful way. I'm not calling you perfect. I'm sure you have your own challenges. But you are so graceful in the way you speak, the way you communicate, your artwork, the way you carry yourself in the world. It's so inspiring to see a woman who has been through the challenges like you have overcome them with grace, with gratitude, with appreciation, and with saying, how can I continue to know myself better? How can I improve? And how can I be of service to the people in my life, to the best of my ability? So I want to acknowledge you for that. I want to acknowledge you for overcoming fears. I think it's easy to stay stuck in our fears. It's. It's. It's hard to break through them. It's hard to face them continually until they no longer have power over us. And so I would acknowledge you for also taking that on, even in your situation and doing it in a culture that maybe isn't as accepting in certain ways that other cultures would be. So I really acknowledge you for that and I acknowledge you for your consistency. You keep showing up and creating content and adding value to people. You keep traveling to speak on stages. There are no limits that hold you back. And Manuba, I just really grateful and appreciate you for how you show up in the world. So I wanted to acknowledge you for that. I want people to follow you. I want them to check out your social media, your YouTube's really inspiring. I want them to buy your artwork. So I have all this linked up for people as well in the description on our podcast, on audio and also on YouTube. And I have one final question. It is, what is your definition of greatness?
- [57:59]
Muneeba Mazari
How do I define greatness? How gracefully you let go of all the things and people who don't belong to your journey. How gracefully you let go of all that that define your greatness.
- [58:15]
Louis
I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness+channel exclusively on Apple Podcast. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter and now it's time to go out there and do something great. Wa.