← The School of Greatness
The School of Greatness
HUMAN DESIGN Explained — How to ALIGN With Your PURPOSE + MANIFEST Effortlessly
01:08:59
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- [00:01]
A
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- [02:58]
B
I love this question so much because in my 20s, I was like the quintessential spiritual searcher. And I was endlessly just any type of information I could get my hands on. I just wanted to know all about it. Right. And I really, I think from a soul level, you know, we resonate with things when we hear like, you co create with the universe or you trust there's something bigger than you that's carrying you. We know these things to be true. And so I think the beginning of my spiritual journey was really about kind of connecting to that. And then I got to a place where I was like, okay, I know these things, but now my life still isn't moving forward. I haven't created my own capabilities, my own power, my own passions. Like, I'm not actualizing stuff. Right.
- [03:39]
A
So you had an awareness. Okay, yes. The universe, if I work with it, then good things are going to happen. You had this kind of faith or belief, but you weren't seeing it happen for you yet.
- [03:50]
B
Yes. And so I was reading all the books and I was listening to all the information and I was like searching for that for myself. Like, I wanted to feel like I'm in alignment, I'm living my purpose, but I didn't know how. And so it was only when I met somebody who did my human design chart on me. And it was, it blew me away because it was so practical. And so you do this and you'll get this, and this is how your energy works. And this is why a morning routine doesn't work for you. And you are built to be inconsistent. And so don't beat yourself up trying to be something you're not. Right. And so the whole ethos of human design is like, actually you already came here knowing how to be your real self. And ever since then, we've absorbed all this conditioning that has told us, do this and you'll be loved, do more of this and you'll be successful. But there isn't a one size fits all. And so what human design does is it gives you your customized kind of practical manual on how you get to being your real self again. And a lot of it is actually going back to how you were before rather than becoming something interesting.
- [04:57]
A
Yeah, because we're all conditioned by parents, society, friends, culture on how we should be doing things. And we learn certain specific skills or knowledge in our journey of life. And what I'm hearing you say is we need to kind of unlearn or deconstruct these systems that we've been built. Some of them may work for people, but others don't work for us. And we all have a specific human design.
- [05:24]
B
Yes.
- [05:25]
A
How do we know how many human designs are there? And how do we know which one is ours?
- [05:33]
B
Okay, so it's not a personality test. So it's not that you're kind of answering questions about yourself if I can get a little bit nerdy on you. It's actually a very scientifically measured thing because there are these things called neutrinos that are subatomic particles, and we're swimming in them right now. There's 100 billion of them passing through your thumb right now every second. And all of those neutrinos are generated by the planets in our solar system. 70% of them come from the Sun. And these neutrinos are controlled by what's called a weak force. So instead of, like, a light particle would bounce off this wall, the neutrinos pass through matter, okay. And they all have energy to them. And so the day, minute, time, place you're born, there's a specific neutrino stream that you pop into, and that place has a certain energy. And imagine it's like the first breath you take is that it's kind of like seeding you with this energy.
- [06:31]
A
Interesting.
- [06:32]
B
And so if you believe that you come here, your soul comes here with a certain way that it wants to be and a certain plan, then that energy that you're seeded with is the exact energy that it chooses to kind of pop in through. And so it's like your design never changes. It's always the same manual. You're the same true essence underneath it, and you have been since the beginning. And if we can measure the neutrino stream at the time you were born, then we can tell you about who you came here to be.
- [07:00]
A
Neutrino. Is that what it's called? What? I mean, how do we know what the neutrino frequency is of every second for eternity?
- [07:10]
B
Similar to astrology, you can do it by measuring the position that the planets are in, because they would hit certain different angles. So instead of saying, for example, Jupiter is in Taurus, like how you say with astrology, you say Jupiter is at this specific angle compared to the Earth, and through this angle, it comes with a certain flavor of neutrino, for example, so. And it's actually overlaid with the I Ching. Do you ever hear of a guy called Confucius?
- [07:34]
A
Yes.
- [07:35]
B
So he spoke about 64 different energies that are Available to us as human beings.
- [07:39]
A
64 energies. Why 64? Do we know?
- [07:43]
B
That's what they identified as different groups of energies. Actually, not even energies, but groups of energies that are present in the human experience. And so what happens is the 64 different general angles that the planets come through are flavored with those 64 different energies as well. I told you, it gets a little bit nerdy, but that's how they measure it. And the guy who formulated human design basically understood how all of these different systems kind of come together. So the chakra system, the astrology, the I Ching, and the kabbalistic tree of life and how they all overlay to kind of show you who came here to be here.
- [08:18]
A
Interesting. Okay, so we can figure out. What is it called?
- [08:21]
B
Neutron neutrinos.
- [08:23]
A
Neutrinos, yes. So we, with all this measuring of astrology and some different things, we can figure out the neutrinos based on essentially the minute we were born and so based on the moment we were born. And is it also where we are born?
- [08:39]
B
Yep.
- [08:40]
A
We can then figure out what our human design is. Is that correct? And so we don't get to choose our human design. It's based on when we were born and where we were born. Does it matter where in the world you're born as well? Or is it more the day and time?
- [08:56]
B
The specific time and place and day?
- [08:59]
A
Why does the place matter if I was born in, you know, a city in Ohio versus London? Because the same minute. Yes, that day.
- [09:06]
B
Because the angle that you're on on Earth that's receiving the planet is slightly different. And sometimes the smallest thing can make a huge difference.
- [09:14]
A
Really? So we could be born at the same minute, but we wouldn't have the same design?
- [09:19]
B
Not necessarily, no. We could have certain things that are the same about our design, but maybe your digestion will be different than mine, and that can change by one minute, for example.
- [09:28]
A
Wow.
- [09:28]
B
So we need the exact same.
- [09:30]
A
So this is, like, based on astrology, based on science. What would you say this is based on?
- [09:37]
B
I think it's an art and a science. My background is. I grew up with. I was such a nerd at school. I was such a science geek. And so this kind of really was my, I guess, entry into spirituality. And that's why it resonated with me so much, because it's so measurable. So it kind of primarily is a science, but it's the science of who you came here to be. So then that makes it inherently spiritual. Right.
- [09:57]
A
So what is it? You know, we're in LA right now and this is the land of tarot reading, psychics, astrology, numerology, and I'm assuming, many other things. What is the difference between human design versus all those other practices that teach you about who you are and what you should be doing in your life?
- [10:16]
B
I think for me the biggest difference is that human design gives you the manual of. It's never going to tell you you're going to have three kids, for example, you're going to move next year, or any of that kind of stuff. It's like your path is already laid out by your soul. Let's say you have a certain specific karma that you come here to achieve in this specific life, right? And for you, this is almost like you treat this like a machinery, you treat your system like a machine. You do it without thinking about it. You get the mind out of the way. And that's one of the big core tenets of human design, is that the mind is actually very stupid at how we run our lives. The mind is cleverer being used at looking at the outside world, becoming a genius at something. Because you let this thing iterate itself. You let it run on its intuition, you let it run on the digestion it's supposed to digest, you let it run in the right exact environment it's meant to be in, and then your mind is free to become what we currently think is unusual levels of genius in people. Like everybody has the Elon Musk capacity in them, right? But we're just wasting our brain energy on the wrong things. And so human design gives you like, just do this and do it every single day and iterate it and then see the results happen in your life.
- [11:29]
A
Interesting. So it's giving you the roadmap of your own personality, body, human type. It's giving you the roadmap of saying where maybe if you've been told your entire life to live a specific way and you're not seeing the results, if this would say, well, you're actually supposed to be more intuitive or living in this specific way, a different way. It's saying, okay, let me try that, that way that I'm supposed to be living in and see what unlocks from there, exactly what would you say is the biggest thing that blocks us from achieving and manifesting more?
- [12:04]
B
I think almost believing that we are all the same as other people. And then you see someone else's success and you go, I want that. And then you try to get there the same way that they've gotten there. I actually think that. And I was saying this to you. Like, the whole thing about the mind being in charge is so limiting because there isn't enough information that you could absorb to guarantee that you would get to where you want to go. Right. If you're gonna let the mind control and you're gonna let the mind come up with all its theories, it's the best spin doctor we have. Right. The mind will outdo you every time. Right. Whereas actually with these sorts of things you kind of understand this co creation with the universe is that the universe has mystical, ineffable forces that we also know are at play. This grounds them because it says they come through to you through your body. So for you, for example, like, the things that light you up are not random. That's the universe literally speaking to you through that enjoyment. But the mind goes, it can't be as simple as just doing what you enjoy. Or the mind goes, no, because you should feel guilty for sometimes not doing things you don't want just to benefit other people. Right. So the mind is getting in the way. Whereas actually, when you understand the mechanisms of how your body is guiding you and directing you, then your mind is free to become a genius.
- [13:22]
A
Interesting.
- [13:23]
B
Yeah, so.
- [13:24]
A
So we're blocking ourselves by going against what our. Our human nature, our human design is telling us we should be going into.
- [13:30]
B
Yes.
- [13:31]
A
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- [14:23]
B
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- [14:54]
A
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- [16:08]
B
Yeah. So there's many different categories of your design. The sort of top line one is what's called your energy type. Now your energy type is not your personality. It's literally how you are supposed to use your energy to get the most bang out of your buck from that energy that you spend.
- [16:24]
A
Right.
- [16:25]
B
So different people have different ways that they're supposed to use their energy. And we can kind of know this. Like there's certain people who they're really full on and then they need to disappear and then they're really, they're at 200% and then they disappear.
- [16:34]
A
More introverted individuals that want to be by themselves or whatever.
- [16:38]
B
Right, Exactly.
- [16:39]
A
So how many energy types are?
- [16:41]
B
There's five.
- [16:41]
A
Okay, what are those?
- [16:43]
B
So you have generators, manifesters, manifesting generators, projectors and reflectors.
- [16:52]
A
Okay.
- [16:53]
B
And again, you being a generator doesn't mean that you're similar to other people who are generators.
- [16:58]
A
Really?
- [16:59]
B
Yes.
- [16:59]
A
Why not?
- [17:00]
B
Because you're not similar personality wise to them. You just use your energy. Your mechanism is the same. Right. So imagine there's 8 billion people on the planet. There's not five different personalities. Right. It's very limiting.
- [17:13]
A
So I'm a generator. As I'm.
- [17:14]
B
You're a generator? Yes.
- [17:15]
A
Okay. And what's the percentage of the world that is generators?
- [17:19]
B
It's about 27%.
- [17:22]
A
Okay.
- [17:22]
B
Generators.
- [17:23]
A
And then manifestors.
- [17:25]
B
8% of the population.
- [17:26]
A
8%.
- [17:27]
B
Yeah.
- [17:28]
A
And then manifesting generators.
- [17:30]
B
They're about 35% of the population. They're growing.
- [17:33]
A
Okay.
- [17:34]
B
Projectors are about 17%.
- [17:36]
A
Okay.
- [17:37]
B
And reflectors are 1%.
- [17:39]
A
1% reflector. Okay.
- [17:41]
B
Very rare.
- [17:42]
A
So generator and manifesting generators are the most common. So what is. If I'm a generator based on when I was born and where I was born, what does it say about me that I should be doing to optimize for greatest flow, greatest impact, greatest fulfillment, and greatest opportunity?
- [18:01]
B
So the word. Think about the word generator. Okay. When you are doing something you love, what happens is you generate energy for everybody else without trying to give it to them, without going out of your way, it spills out of you and you lift other people up. So you literally alchemize lower energy into higher energy.
- [18:21]
A
Interesting.
- [18:22]
B
But in order to do that, you have to be doing something that lights you up.
- [18:25]
A
Right. And if I'm not doing something that lights me up, then what happens?
- [18:28]
B
You could be helping someone move house, but net net, you haven't lifted them up. And so as a generator, generators are here to lift the energy of the world. They literally are the fuel of the world. Okay.
- [18:39]
A
On good energy, if you're enjoying what.
- [18:41]
B
You'Re doing, but you have to be enjoying what you're doing.
- [18:43]
A
If not, then it's like it's not going to give us both of the.
- [18:46]
B
Motions, but then you're tired and that person hasn't actually benefited from it.
- [18:49]
A
Right.
- [18:50]
B
So as a kid, you probably got like, well done for going to see grandma when you didn't want to. Right. Or like, good boy. For doing something that was a sacrifice or a duty. And that programs, especially generators of feeling. Like, it can't be as good as just doing my joy. Right. But the reframe on this is like, there's a reason why your joy is different from someone else's. So why are you feeling guilty that you get what you think is the better deal. Right. If everyone did what they thought was a better deal, everyone would be better together, right?
- [19:19]
A
Yes.
- [19:19]
B
And imagine what a great functioning society we would have if we trusted that allocation of resources from the universe. Right. That's telling you I'm going to design your joy for you, and I want you to follow that. Now shut the mind up, let it do its thing and follow you, which is ruled by your gut. Generators are ruled by the gut. Okay. Now, the gut speaks to you in black and white. It says, yes, I'm into it, or no, I'm not. It doesn't know gray areas.
- [19:44]
A
It's either a hell yes or a hell no.
- [19:46]
B
It's either a hell yes or a hell no.
- [19:48]
A
Interesting. And so it's almost kind of like, okay, if I'm using that framework, is this 100% hell yes, 10 out of 10 out of 10 decision excites me for everything about it. Doesn't mean there's not going to be challenges. Probably.
- [19:59]
B
Exactly.
- [20:00]
A
And things to overcome. But I'm excited about the opportunity. That's when I should say yes to it.
- [20:05]
B
Yes.
- [20:06]
A
But if it's like a 5 out of a 10, probably don't even have anything to do with that. It sounds like. Right. It's like. Or. Or try to pull back on as many of those things as possible.
- [20:13]
B
Absolutely.
- [20:14]
A
Maybe I have some responsibilities or obligations I got to fulfill.
- [20:17]
B
Yeah.
- [20:18]
A
But try to make commitments based on this. 100%. All in.
- [20:22]
B
Exactly.
- [20:22]
A
Okay.
- [20:23]
B
And so wherever you're at, you know, you go at the pace of love and you go what's doable. Because obviously we've got ourselves to places where we can't just all of a sudden, you know, only do those things.
- [20:32]
A
Stop everything.
- [20:33]
B
Yeah. But the core tenet is for generators, like, can you trust that the joy that you have and that you cultivate inside of you, that actually, no matter what your job title is, what you're really doing in terms of exchanging energy with other human beings is you are lifting other people. And the thing is, you don't even get to see that because you don't see how someone is before they came to you and then how they are when you leave them. So you don't necessarily see that alchemy in motion, but that's really what you're doing.
- [20:58]
A
Interesting.
- [20:59]
B
So you make other people more productive. When you're lit up, generators are very open, welcoming auras. So they make people want to be around them. They're very, kind of, like, magnetic and juicy, and you want to hug them or you want to be around them, you want to be in their energy. They make you more productive. They make you more inspired. That's what a generator does. Right. But of course, there's so few generators that are, I guess, giving themselves the permission to just mostly do things that stoke their inner fire. And it's very visceral for you you know what I mean? Like if you imagine watching yourself from above when someone says, do you want to do this? Can you imagine your body literally would go like this? Or it kind of constricts?
- [21:35]
A
Yeah, I feel it. I feel my whole body. Yeah, I'll either open up or I'll shut down.
- [21:40]
B
That's the key.
- [21:41]
A
But a lot of us tend to go against that intuition or our gut. Is the mind the thing that blocks us the most or is the mind the thing that can also drive us the most?
- [21:54]
B
It depends what you mean. So your mind can drive you in creative projects, it can drive you in inspiration, it can drive you in coming up with logic and systems and strategies. And that's what I mean, the outside world, like what you create, what you do, all this kind of thing. When it comes to Lewis, what do you want to do tonight? The mind is not so skilled at that.
- [22:17]
A
So what I'm hearing, what I think I'm hearing you say, is for me, as a energy type of a generator, I should never make a decision based on my mind. I should always make a decision based on how my body is feeling about this thing. Is that correct?
- [22:33]
B
Yes. So it's actually kind of double for you because your authority, which is the second category in human design, is that your authority, intuition is gut as well. So you're called your sacral authority.
- [22:44]
A
It's like double intuition.
- [22:46]
B
You're like double gut intuition.
- [22:47]
A
I don't know what that means actually. Like, this is a big deal.
- [22:50]
B
But I'm like, well, different people have different ways. They're meant to listen to their intuition. So some people it's emotional intuition, some people it's got intuition. Some people it's your wants, some people it's your instincts. In kind of common lexicon, we all think that's the same thing, but it actually shows up different for different people. Yes.
- [23:07]
A
So what am I then?
- [23:07]
B
So your sacral gut intuition.
- [23:09]
A
Sacral.
- [23:10]
B
So think about that sacrum. It's like all about desire. Do I want it? Yes or no? So.
- [23:15]
A
So I should I really need to be listening to this feeling?
- [23:18]
B
Yes. You're like, this excites me or no, it doesn't. And what's interesting, because the gut is black and white, open ended questions are not great for you. So if I say to you, where do you want to go tonight for dinner? If I'm like, do you want sushi or Mexican? Easier.
- [23:32]
A
Yeah.
- [23:33]
B
Because you narrow it down. So actually for you, for your decision making in your life, it's also easier if you narrow down your choices whenever you're conflicted.
- [23:40]
A
It's very black and white. Very black and white, which can be. Which could seem extreme. And I have this conversation with my partner, Matt, my business partner here, where I'm like, we need to shut this entire thing down from, like, some project or we need to go all in on this thing and stop everything else right now. It's kind of, like, extreme sometimes. He's like, slow it down a little bit. Like, let's. Let's take some time on this. Let's organize our thoughts. I'm like, no, I'm done with this. I'm all in. And so it sounds like, yes, lean on that. But also make sure that I'm taking care of responsibilities. I'm not just starting and stopping all these things all at once.
- [24:20]
B
Well, he also might be emotional intuition, which means he needs to take his time.
- [24:24]
A
He does. And he needs to analyze everything that could go wrong.
- [24:27]
B
There you go.
- [24:28]
A
And all the potential challenges and things like that. I'm just like, no, it's going to work. Let's make it work.
- [24:33]
B
Right? But look how beautiful. If you both understand each other's manual, then you're not thinking that one of you is doing it wrong, and you honor each other. Other's process. And then you know when something is aligned is when both of you arrive at the same conclusion. So it works really well with teams, too, because, you know, okay, I know you're not trying to hold me back by going through all the fears first. I know you're doing your own process so that you figure out your role in this, and I'm doing my way. And then let's kind of like, let the chips fall where they may. Instead of being like, we have to have this specific process that everyone at work uses. It's like, okay, each one kind of combines in a different way. Mm. So it's an interesting. It's a very interesting way of optimizing how you work with people.
- [25:12]
A
That's interesting. How do we. I mean, there's a lot of people that are into self help, personal growth, spirituality that seem to be struggling still, that seem to be suffering, struggling constantly getting into bad projects, bad relationships. Why do you think so many people suffer a struggle who are also in personal development, and they haven't figured out how to get through to the next level.
- [25:37]
B
Yeah, I love this question, because I think it's so. It's so pertinent for this time. I think we've gone through such an awakening of spirituality, but I guess I feel like a Lot of people that I speak to, it's almost like they need to feel like I'm taking you into account and then doing your personal development based on what is present in you. Right. Rather than kind of funneling us into these things where. I don't know, I felt like more of a failure when I was trying to do all the spiritual stuff and feeling like I wasn't moving my life forward. Right. When I found this thing of like, do this and do this and don't just take me on a word, but see if your life actually changes. And it did. And then from seeing so many testimonials of people just like using this practical manual, that's when I think it empowers you because you feel like you're capable of doing something rather than just like, here's my thing, trust me, universe, go and do your thing and think abundantly. How am I not thinking abundantly? How does abundant thinking look on me? How do I use my specific gifts? Right. How do I. If I want to be a nurse, what's the best kind of nurse for me to be based on who I am and how I. What I bring to the table? Right. Because you might be a nurse where you're going to be more in your power and more capable and more valued by being nurturing and really, like, connecting to that part of you. Or you might be the nurse who's very good at, like, the ops and the organization and the whatever. Right. So what's nice about this is, like, it makes you feel more touch with your personal power because you know what to bring, you know what to lead with, and that subconsciously is what people will value you for the most, even if they don't know how. We're all reading each other's energy without knowing what we're doing. Right? Right. But we'll be like, this person is someone who's capable, who I trust, who seems good at what they do. We gravitate towards people like that. Right. And so this is like, everybody is equally genius and powerful, but you have to flex it. And these are things that you're going to flex. You're going to get more energy out of. You're going to get more bang for your buck out of. Rather than the best nurses are this. The best moms are this.
- [27:34]
A
Yeah. There's what, 8 billion people in the world right now? And there's probably a lot of them, a majority of them that will never know their human design. Right. They're never going to go through the assessment. And I guess it's not an assessment, but the. What do you call it? Like, when they. Running a chart, running a chart, they're probably. Probably most people are never going to do that in the world. So for those that don't know their own human design, how do they fully tap into this really, this wisdom, this knowledge, this power in order to live a more fulfilling, meaningful life? And if they don't know their human design, are they just doomed forever or do they trust their gut on things better? Like, how do they know where they're supposed to go, what the roadmap is for them for creating a meaningful, fulfilling life?
- [28:25]
B
I think the number one thing is that we have these very homogenized ideas of the good ways to be, the cool ways to be. The very few things that we've been taught are going to lead us to be successful or to be lovable. Right. So people who we call geniuses are usually, like, artistically creative, or they're really good at some kind of, like, tech thing, or they're good at athletic prowess.
- [28:47]
A
They're gifted in some way.
- [28:48]
B
Yeah, those three things. Okay. No one is ever going to raise someone and say, the amount of care that you have for people is your usp, and that's going to make you crazy, insanely successful.
- [29:00]
A
Right.
- [29:00]
B
We're not brought up that way. Right. In a similar way, you're not brought up to say, okay, well, as a mom, if you're very good at strategizing, then that's going to make you the best mom that you can be. Right. But if you can think about those random little things that you maybe think are uncool or that might not lead you to anything, and you can back those things, I think you can just do that and not know anything about your design and just take a bet on those, like, unusual little pockets that aren't everywhere.
- [29:32]
A
Yeah. These are the underappreciated gifts that a lot of people have. You know, when I started this show, I remember thinking to myself, I have no idea how to, like, run a podcast or do the, you know, to do this thing. It's not what I was skilled to do, but I've always been fascinated by people and just curious and always ask these weird, random questions. And I was like, well, maybe there's something from this. So I just tapped into asking weird, random questions. And people seem to like it, but I was listening to that thing within me. Okay, here's, like, a hidden gift that I don't think is valuable, but let's see where it goes by going into that, it worked out for me.
- [30:10]
B
Yeah.
- [30:12]
A
So it's what I'm hearing you say is, like, try to find the hidden gifts within you that maybe don't seem celebrated by others all the time.
- [30:20]
B
And it's risky. I say that lightly, but it's a huge risk because your mind, again, is going to say no. But how are you ever going to support yourself on that? How are you ever going to make money? No one's going to think you're cool. Like, what are you doing? And to be honest with you, the fact that we even think there are certain guarantees is an illusion anyway, to life. So really, this is actually working with reality, that everything is an unknown.
- [30:44]
A
Right.
- [30:45]
B
But it's really hard. And it's the daily practice of human designers. Like, again, like I said, your. Your design doesn't change. But every single day, to listen to your gut on every single thing, it's hard. And you have to do it in new pockets of your life, right? And you have to relearn it and relearn it and get to another level with it and then refine. So this mind thing of, like, are you sure? Are you not crazy? Like, when I first sat my parents down and told them I was closing my food business to read human Design, I mean, I literally thought my highest aspiration would be, like, they wheel me out on the lottery with a wig, and I read the lucky numbers.
- [31:20]
A
It wasn't cool.
- [31:21]
B
It wasn't a thing. It was. This is eight, nine years ago now, Right. So I took a chance on that random thing that I didn't know where it was going to lead me. Right. And it's not the career choice that is going to take us far. It's how much we show up and be our most kind of actualized present. Powerful, capable, liking who we are along the way. Like, that's the thing. That's the magic in people, right? It doesn't actually matter what you're doing. You can make a fortune out of gardening if you do it the right way. If you get a zing with it, you know?
- [31:50]
A
Absolutely. Yeah. I think I saw one of your videos on Instagram. You talking about, like, really leaning into your passion in terms of, like, being passionate about what you're doing and being excited about it, because that unlocks new pathways, new doors for you when you're living into that. When we're doing something that I feel like we're skilled at but we don't fully fall in love with, we're kind of in resistance still. Like, okay, yes, I have this talent over here. But my. My intuition is not telling me that that's what I want to do with my time, you know? Or maybe, like, I used to be really good at baseball for a long time, but then when I turned 17, I just didn't have the. The energy for it anymore. I just didn't care enough about it to keep pursuing it. And I started to pursue track and field. And great things came out of that decision to leave something I had talent in to pursue something that I was more excited about. And I think it's learning how to trust, like, the timing of this as well, when to do this. What about in relationships? You know, how have you learned about what is a good relationship, whether it be in business partnerships or career or an intimacy based on human design.
- [32:59]
B
Okay? So people always ask about, like, are generators compatible with this or that or whatever? Now, from a human design perspective, if you have chemistry with somebody, you're compatible. You just need to learn the other person so that there is no me trying to change you or us trying to be on the same page or me misunderstanding the very innocent reasons why you do something that I'm thinking you're sitting down on that chair for a different motivation than you would be sitting down on that chair, right? So anybody's compatible with anybody. If you're drawn to that person for the time, for the exact amount of time, you still are drawn to that person, right? But if you can learn someone else's manual, for example, manifesting generators are very fast people, right? And so if you're with. If you're a projector who's with a manifesting generator to honor each other's different speeds, that already gets rid of so much friction, right? Or if you understand that somebody, for example, my mom. When I did a reading for my mom for the first time, and I saw her main gift. Everybody has one gift in their life. That's the main thing they came here to do. When I saw her main gift was about kind of almost being a little bit abrasive and abrupt in order to shake people out of things. So my mom would be the person who, like, she'll see someone wheeling a baby down the street, and she's like, put a hat on that baby, you know? And I always used to think that was, like, rude and inappropriate. But in a way, if you're doing it with the right consciousness, that's obviously another thing. Like the way that you animate it. There's a purpose for every single role that people play in society, right? And so when you know the reason why Someone is the way they are. You're not judging them anymore. You're not thinking that they're wrong. You're not trying to fit them in to be more like you. And what happens with our differences if we know them, then I can actually vicariously enjoy yours through you when I'm not threatened by them, when I don't think that I have to be more like you or you have to be more like me. And I'm trying to think who's better or worse. Wow. So I'm like, isn't that so beautiful that your main gift is, you know, whatever it is? Well, I know what you're talking about.
- [34:53]
A
What is my main gift?
- [34:55]
B
So your main gift is number 36, and that's turning darkness into light.
- [34:59]
A
Okay.
- [34:59]
B
So a lot of the stuff that you're here to do is to pull out from the places that people don't necessarily look at or talk about, and to bring them into awareness. To alchemize things that are maybe more negative into more positive things, and then your secondary one, and they play nicely together, is really about bonding with people and breaking through barriers, which I mean, you clearly do. I've known you for an hour. You're very good at it. Right. So those two things, I know that I don't have to be them because you're really good at them, and I'm good at other things.
- [35:29]
A
Right.
- [35:29]
B
And then you actually just, like, literally, you thrive off seeing other people in their gifts. It's, like, so much fun, you know? So in relationships and in business partnerships, you can do the same thing. We are like, it's so cool how you do that. And yet there's no part of me that thinks I have to be the same way.
- [35:43]
A
Yeah.
- [35:44]
B
So the harmony in that is, like, life changing.
- [35:51]
A
That first sip feeling, you know, one of my favorite parts of the morning is setting the tone for the day. And I'll start my day with gratitude. Always. I like to move my body, and then I like to get something that fuels my focus and energy for what's ahead in my day. And lately, that's included the new Starbucks protein lattes. It fits right into my routine, and it helps me hit my protein goals. I'm drinking the Starbucks vanilla protein latte right now, and it takes the same smooth, balanced flavor you already love, and it adds a protein boost. And if you already have your favorite Starbucks order, you can just swap the milk for their protein boosted milk. It's amazing. And on this show, we talk a lot about building habits that also support performance and Wellness. And for me, this is one of those small, steady upgrades. Something that makes my morning a little stronger without changing the flow of my day. So try the new lineup of high protein beverages at Starbucks or add protein to your favorite drink. If you're a small business owner, you already wear a dozen hats. CEO, hr Marketing janitor. The last thing you need is to stress about insurance. That's where the Hartford comes in. They've been helping small businesses for over 200 years and they insure over 1 million small business owners across the country. They know your time is precious and they've made it easy to get the coverage you need without the hassle. Visit the Hartford.com small business to learn more and get a quote today. I mean, you were essentially learning and studying human design for the last, what, eight or nine years? Right. But you're also in a relationship during that time at some point. So how did you. I think you're in relationship for four years, you said. So how did you know when you're in the relationship? When. When it was there was alignment with the relationship versus. All right, there's not alignment. Or did you miss something in the relationship that you weren't following? Your own kind of wisdom, your own intuition.
- [37:53]
B
Okay, so my intuition is emotional, which means that we have to make decisions based on how things make us feel. Like happy or sad. Literally, that. That black and white. Right. So either we're up here or we're down here. And 50% of the population is emotional, which is crazy.
- [38:09]
A
So what's your energy type?
- [38:10]
B
I'm a projector.
- [38:11]
A
Project.
- [38:11]
B
Yeah.
- [38:12]
A
Okay.
- [38:12]
B
But my emotional intuition, what it says is again, you don't need to understand with your mind why your intuition is telling you what it's telling you. That's where we trip up intuition. You just have to listen to it.
- [38:25]
A
Just trust it.
- [38:26]
B
Just trust it.
- [38:27]
A
Don't try to understand it.
- [38:29]
B
Don't try to understand it. So what our mind does, it comes in secondary and goes, these are the reasons why and this is the logic. And this was this and this is that. And it wasn't aligned. And he was this and that. That's all noise.
- [38:40]
A
So that's why you hear a lot of women that say, he looked great on paper.
- [38:43]
B
Yeah.
- [38:44]
A
He had all the things that had. My parents thought this was awesome. The school he went to where he worked, like, everything seemed to line up, but I just didn't have something inside of me that wanted to commit. Right. Yeah. That was a lot of limitations. Right.
- [38:58]
B
Yeah. It's making decisions with the mind rather than with the body.
- [39:00]
A
Why do so many people make the decisions with the mind rather than the body?
- [39:04]
B
Well, to get a little bit historical on you. If you think about where humanity has been for the last couple hundred years, right. It has been a lot of top down sort of control. And a population is easier to convince you all to go to war and to, you know, do certain things. If this is the logic, we all have to agree on the logic. There's one objective reality. Let's all get on the same page rather than there is no objective reality. We're all just here bumping up against each other, doing our random things. That's a nightmare, right? For a society, there's gotta be some.
- [39:40]
A
Order and some organization somewhere, right?
- [39:42]
B
Yeah. But when you think about it, then the people who are in government are supposed to be the people who are very good at coming up with common laws. They're very good at people who are being balanced, who are being fair, who come up with how people interact and come together, but giving people their freedom. So when you're trying to suppress a culture with a religious homogenized belief, then there is this thing that we all, that is logic that gets handed down to us that you have to do what makes sense to other people. And that's how you get your love and belonging from the tribe, is by justifying that what you're doing is for the same reasons that everyone else would want to do the same things.
- [40:18]
A
So how can women specifically make better decisions in choosing the right male partner for them? If they want to choose a male partner? How can women choose better in relationships?
- [40:30]
B
This is going to sound a little crazy, but one of the other big conditionings that we have is that we have to make the right decision that we ensure is going to make our relationship last forever. And that's a good relationship. What you actually want from that is to feel the most amount of love. Right? You want to be in love and in the energy of love every single day of your life. So from that perspective, whether that changes 20 times or once doesn't really matter. So for me, that relationship was correct for as long as it lasted because it grew the amount of love I had in my life until my emotions started telling me otherwise. And am I better off because of that relationship? Am I more open hearted because of that relationship? Am I more happy with who I am? Yes. Right? So that was not a terrible relationship. That was life showing me that was a perfect amount for it to last. Okay, So a big thing to get rid of is I have to Know how my future is going to look in order for me to be happy. Actually, you just need to be happy today and then your tomorrow will start off better and that will compound. And then it doesn't matter about the form that it takes because the inside is going to be more actualized, more evolved, more in love, more open hearted, more. All the things that we actually want, right?
- [41:49]
A
Yeah, absolutely.
- [41:51]
B
So it comes from kind of letting go of this guarantee to micromanage how the life is going to unfold for you, to think of how it needs to look for you to be happy and to do the happiness today and then to trust that that's what activates the rest of the work. The 90% of the unseen forces kind of coming together to make things happen the way that, right. That we can't engineer like opportunities, synchronicities, meeting people out of nowhere, stuff that we couldn't even do if we were the best minds in the planet. Right.
- [42:20]
A
You know, there is some. There's something to choosing to being positive and happy and grateful for certain elements of your life and trying to maximize that. Because when we maximize that energy, synchronicities unfold, right? These unseen forces for good show up in our life or they, they block us from something bad potentially happening. Right? Or they, they move us in a different direction. But why do you think there are certain people who seem to have it all, but are still choosing to be unhappy and not choosing to be grateful for what they have? They're complaining or feeling entitled for what they don't have? Why do you think that happens?
- [43:04]
B
I think that's one of those things where there's many different causes for one symptom, right? So on the outside, this person you're saying is ungrateful or unhappy. The number one reason I would say is that if you haven't liked who you've become along the way of getting to what you want, then that's never going to be a happy result. Right? You can't get to joy if you don't pave it along the way with feeling like you love being who you are. And you've probably been in situations like this in your life before where maybe things are hitting the fan, but you still love the fact that you have your own back through it. And there's this incredible piece of like, okay, well, we're on this adventure of life. The soul wants to experience everything. Let's lean into this knowing that I think I'm going to make sure that I'm okay. Right? And that weirdly transforms even the most negative experiences into these like fascinations. And I think if you don't know how to do that, then that's already a big, that really takes away from your happiness. The second thing is also that again the brain is, is addicted to finding something to focus on, right? And it's, and it could be being focused on creativity, but when it's turned inwards, it's going to look for problems, it's going to look for unhappiness. That's what's going to happen when you let it run amok in an area that it's not supposed to run amok in. And the third one is, I think is, is an addiction that we're being programmed with from the outside conditioning of, you know, you should find reasons to be unhappy or you grew up around people who were that way. And you need to decondition from that automatic pattern. That again, like you were saying in the beginning with your parents, that condition, you, even if they weren't doing it on purpose, it's passed down until you have to be the one that says, you know what, let me not just decide to be rid of it, but let me practice being rid of it today. How would I move through my day when I catch this thing come in and I go, what else would I do instead? And you might feel like an imposter the first time you do it because it's not going to feel natural, right? But even if you can just flex it slightly, the universe goes, oh, look who's trying to be more themselves. Let me go help this person out.
- [45:08]
A
What was the thing you had to decondition over the last 10 years that was running your life the most?
- [45:17]
B
I think the emotional piece is a really big piece. And this is like I said to you, 50% of the population are what's called emotional beings. So you're what's called non emotional, meaning when you're by yourself, you're cool, calm and collected. It's only when the world comes to you or when people come to you or a situation comes to you that you feel a certain way. When you're emotional, you can wake up and be happy and feel on top of the world. Same exact situation the next day and you feel totally different. And for me, I was really brought up when I was in a low mood. What's wrong with you? Why are you upset? Smile. Don't be a sport, brat. You know I'm English, right? So don't be a sport, brat. And for me it was a real judgment about having negative emotions and I still struggle with it today. I'm not rid of it by any stretch of the imagination. I just am more aware of it. So I have levity around when I'm doing it to myself.
- [46:10]
A
Gotcha. So you're emotional. I'm non emotional.
- [46:13]
B
Non emotional.
- [46:14]
A
So explain that again. Someone who's emotional versus non emotional.
- [46:16]
B
Yeah. So you don't generate your own emotions. You are like a mirror and a sponge to the world around you. So there's actually, when we talk about people who are empaths, we really are talking about, in a strict version, we're talking about non emotionals. Because you're able to feel what I'm feeling. Because I have my own emotional roller coaster going on, I'm actually not able to viscerally tap into your emotions as an emotional person. As an emotional person.
- [46:41]
A
Not emotional, personal. I can understand your emotions.
- [46:44]
B
You can feel my emotions.
- [46:45]
A
That resonates. I feel like I can feel everyone's energy.
- [46:48]
B
Yes.
- [46:49]
A
And something that I saw on your Instagram when you were talking about empaths, you said we shouldn't be absorbing, we should be observing.
- [46:57]
B
Yes.
- [46:57]
A
Something you said recently, don't absorb others emotions. Observe. Observe.
- [47:02]
B
Yes.
- [47:02]
A
And I think that's interesting because empaths take on the weight of anyone around them and they feel it and they feel emotionally drained where they have no energy if they absorb it. So it's learning to notice someone's energy and still be empathetic. But don't absorb it. Right. Observe. Connect. But don't let it penetrate your energy center. Don't let it penetrate your soul to where you're now in that state of being as well. Yes. That's a hard thing for a lot of people who are in that non emotional empath state of being.
- [47:34]
B
Yeah, it is. And it's an interesting one to understand that when you're not absorbing my stuff, you would be able to show me what I'm feeling because I'm so mired in it, I have no idea what's going on some of the time. So you would magnify and be able to show me what's going on with me. If you're not, then taking it on. So let's say for example, I'm an emotional. I wake up and let's say I'm happy today. I'm two out of 10 happy.
- [48:01]
A
Okay, 10 out of 10 happy.
- [48:03]
B
You said let's say for example, I'm two.
- [48:05]
A
Oh, two out of 10.
- [48:05]
B
You're not happy because it goes on a scale. Right. So let's say one day I'm on a 2 out of 10. I walk in the room and I see you 6 out of 10 happy. I'm like, you look happy today and you've become happy because you felt what I've done and you've magnified it. Right. And that's beautiful. But I can see it more clearly through you than I can through me.
- [48:21]
A
Got it.
- [48:22]
B
But that also works on the other side too, where a lot of non emotionals get called the most emotional people. Because if I walk in the room 2 out of 10 sad, 2 is.
- [48:30]
A
A 1 is the hot, sad, 1 is less.
- [48:33]
B
Like let's say 2 out of 10 is the highest.
- [48:34]
A
Gotcha.
- [48:34]
B
So let's say I'm 2 out of 10 sad that day. Okay. I walk in the room, you all of a sudden get in a bad mood and I'm like, what's wrong with you? Why are you in a bad mood? And you don't know because it wasn't there before I walked in. Right. You're just able to reflect to me what I'm not even aware of. If we have that languaging, then I can be like, thank you so much for showing me what was going on with me today. And instead of going, what's wrong with you? Right. Because you guys are the open. Right. You're the open emotional and so you feel whatever else is going on in the world.
- [49:05]
A
Interesting.
- [49:06]
B
And we're just like playing our own songs, completely unaware.
- [49:11]
A
I wonder what my fiance is. She's. I can't remember if she's a manifestor. I think she's a non specific manifestor. I don't know if that's a thing, but maybe it's manifesto generator, but I don't know. But she's positive 90% of the time. Like she is in a positive, joyful, grateful state consistently. It's very rare for her to be low, low energy.
- [49:32]
B
Yeah.
- [49:34]
A
Which really is nice for me because I think I've always in the past been in relationships where I didn't know what I was going to get. And it was harder for me because I would absorb energy and I would feel it and I would allow it to drain me. Now I've learned how to observe differently and just accept people for where they're at and be there for them in a different way as opposed to taking on their pain and sorrow and trying to fix it. That was a wound that I had to learn how to heal. But being in a relationship with someone who is truly grateful for life, that truly loves her life, is a Joy. It is like a gift that I hope everyone can experience at some point because it's challenging to be with someone that isn't a happy person consistently. It just is. And it's hard to be with someone for years who you don't know how to help them become happier.
- [50:31]
B
Yeah.
- [50:31]
A
And that's something that I experienced because I just. I chose based on a wound and nothing wrong with them, but just felt like it was always harder because they weren't happy.
- [50:40]
B
Yeah.
- [50:41]
A
And so I hope everyone can get to that state. You just unlock more when you. When you are a generally happier person. But I feel like a lot of people struggle with happiness. A lot of people suffer and struggle with feeling worthy of happiness, of learning how to believe they're a good person, of believing they're enough. Why do you think we struggle so much with being happy? And how can we learn to love ourselves deeper so that we are happier?
- [51:12]
B
I love that question. So I think there's two different kinds of levels of happiness. So for example, I could be in a lower mood today, but still be so fulfilled and almost loving watching that process of waking up just being more like meth today. But that mess state can mean like, so fine.
- [51:31]
A
Yeah.
- [51:31]
B
You know what I mean? So there's two. There's almost like one that's like the bottom of the ocean. That's like your core fulfillment. Joy to be alive. Like, grateful. Like, oh my God, this is like, this is an adventure. You know what I mean? Like, let me just observe what's going on today. And it's all interesting and all beautiful and so amazing. Right. That level of happiness, I think really comes from being who you're supposed to be, you know, and being happy with who you are and almost feeling like you're doing what brings you the self esteem, the fulfillment, the giving and receiving in the way that you're supposed to. Right. I think when you give to the world in a way that you feel like there is an abundance more coming from it, it changes your whole worldview because you're like, there's so much more where that came from. I'm so happy to serve. I love giving to people. I love seeing how I get received when I give to people. It kind of is like the genie wishing for one wish and then you get tons more back. Right. When you're tapped into, like, this is. I'm in my magic. So then I don't just know that I'm special from here, but I feel that I'm special every single day because I know that I Have something I've cultivated and given energy to that I really feel like is me. It's like my home frequency. I can come back to my base of what my value add is in this world. Right. So I think that's number one is like there's so much deeper levels of happiness that are available to you. If you can break away from constantly telling yourself you have to be like everybody else. Constantly trying to get the love and belonging. The kind of short term cookies, you can kind of forego them and put the, put the sort of time in to take the risk to get it from the sort of longer term value giving people value rather than what can I get out of life so quickly?
- [53:03]
A
And those cookies are so good. Cookies are so good in a moment, just oh man, I love those cookies. But there's so much, there's so much greater benefit when you can delay or at least not every day have to go for the cookies. I'm not saying never enjoy it, but you know, as a metaphor, just not going for the pleasure every single day.
- [53:23]
B
Yeah.
- [53:23]
A
Really going for a state of long term happiness and fulfillment.
- [53:28]
B
Yeah. Comes down to making yourself proud of who you are. Absolutely.
- [53:31]
A
Yeah.
- [53:32]
B
And that feeling is not replaceable by any other thing. I don't think that's true. I think when you're like I really am happy, almost like you're in a parent being like, you know what, that was a hard decision. But really I'm impressed with you. I think that is the ultimate. If you want to be happy, you make yourself proud of you 100%.
- [53:50]
A
When was the time in the last decade you were the least proud of you and at your lowest energy state.
- [53:56]
B
I think the end of that relate. The ending of that relationship was very difficult for me because another thing that I was really conditioned with, my mom is Indian and my parents have been married forever. And one of the things I really was conditioned with is that it's if a relationship goes well, you've done well. Like it's your job as a woman to make a good relationship. And so you fail. You're the failure if you don't make it work. Wow, that was a big one for me. So that was a really, really hard time of being like, am I, am I defected as a woman? Am I not desirable enough? Did I not do enough? Was I not more malleable? Should I have, you know, been more flexible or rolled down more, you know, whatever. All those different stories that you can create. I think that was a really big one for me. But I don't Think I would have undone that conditioning if I hadn't gone through that experience.
- [54:50]
A
Wow. So you felt like you were a failure with the relationship ending.
- [54:54]
B
Yeah, I felt like it was on me. I think a lot of women go through that too.
- [54:59]
A
Really?
- [55:00]
B
I think they feel responsible for making a relationship go well.
- [55:04]
A
I mean, there's something to be said for, you know, people who are in relationships, relationships for decades that are like, listen, we had some hard seasons, some hard years and we could have easily just said, you know what, this isn't working, or some bad stuff happened and we should have left, but we decided to stay together and we're so grateful 10, 20, 30 years later that we did. Because every relationship has some seasons.
- [55:30]
B
Yeah.
- [55:32]
A
But then there's also like, I see that point of view. But then I'm also like, okay, if your body is rejecting something and it's telling you this is not working and I'm giving it my all and I'm trying and we're going to therapy and you're really trying to commit to make it work, but it's. You're rejecting it and it's just a disconnect. I also see the benefit and the value and consciously uncoupling.
- [55:53]
B
Yeah.
- [55:53]
A
Saying listen, we gotta go, this isn't working. Yeah. Let's take some time and maybe we come back together in the future.
- [55:59]
B
Yeah.
- [55:59]
A
And I don't think there's a right or wrong either way.
- [56:01]
B
100.
- [56:02]
A
I don't think it's like you're a failure if you didn't go through all the hard times and go for 30, 40 years and make it out beautiful. Holding hands as like 90 year olds on the other side. Because you could also be together for a long time and be miserable. You know, it's like. And there's a lot of probably Indian families that just stay together even though they don't fully love and have a full fullness of life.
- [56:23]
B
Yes.
- [56:24]
A
Right. I'm sure you see both completely.
- [56:26]
B
And that's the thing. And I love that you've touched on this because that's the thing about human design, is that we're always trying to look for, always tough it out or leave the second you're ready. But actually everyone's on a different path.
- [56:37]
A
Yeah.
- [56:37]
B
So that advice isn't going to work for everybody. And you know, you're kind of, I guess, well predisposed to seeing this because you're very open in your chart. I had a look at. You're very open in your mind. So it is always about kind of not Having your fixed opinions on things. It's always about saying, yeah, I could see that. Maybe, sure. I don't know. Could be wrong, could be right. Let's see. Right. And that's one of your gifts. And I think that's one of the things, is that we're always trying to find the right way to do life and then wronging everybody else who's not fitting into that directive and say, instead of saying, we are all on radically different journeys, journeys no one else can even ever even come close to understanding. So us using our. Again, using our mental energy on trying to find some kind of system that makes us all be on the same thing or same level of understanding or same goal or it's just a moot exercise, you know?
- [57:28]
A
And I think that the challenge or the opportunity we all get to face is are we going to live our life trying to please everyone else based on our decisions or lack of decisions or feeling guilty and bad and wrong for decisions we make that others don't approve of? Because it's really hard to make decisions if we're thinking, why don't want people to be upset at me.
- [57:50]
B
Yeah.
- [57:50]
A
And I did that for a long time. I stayed in relationships too long that I shouldn't have. I got out of stuff that I probably shouldn't have because I was worried about the opinions of others.
- [57:59]
B
Yeah.
- [58:00]
A
So you felt like you were in a low part at the end of that relationship because you felt like a failure.
- [58:04]
B
I felt like I wasn't being my best self, really. I felt like it wasn't bringing out the best in me. And therefore I shamed myself for that. Because it's not good to feel like you're not happy with how you're being right. And. And also, yeah, I really had to contend with, like, if I end this, then am I stupid? Am I making a really bad decision? Because again, like, you were saying, he's great on paper, we're good enough together. My whole family loves him. He's successful.
- [58:30]
A
He's this, he's that, he's nice to me. He's whatever it is. Yeah.
- [58:33]
B
All that stuff. You know what.
- [58:36]
A
What was in telling you, like, this isn't in alignment or this isn't the right thing for me right now. What was telling you? Was it your intuition? Was it your gut? Was it just, like, you didn't feel like you were in your purpose or your joy? How were you able to know that? Okay, I've given this enough time and the season is ready to move on to the next thing.
- [58:56]
B
Yeah. I think I can come up with a lot of logical reasons for you, but I think. I think ultimately if I watch myself and net. Net. My emotional state was more negative than positive in the relationship towards the end. So then that kind of tells you all you again, it's like the body knows. Right. Like, it just. It's so tangible. We just need to watch ourselves as if from above and say, does this person look like a thriving. Does it look like it's suiting you or not? And you don't need to be able to explain it away on a more, I guess, on a more logical level. I went in with certain roles that I played that were. Again, if we're always trying to be who we came here to be, they weren't ultimately part of who I was. Right.
- [59:39]
A
They weren't serving you.
- [59:40]
B
Yes.
- [59:40]
A
Or your future. You. Your highest. You.
- [59:43]
B
Yes.
- [59:43]
A
So you went in playing certain roles in a relationship and then you realize, this isn't sustainable. This isn't me. So it was kind of like your responsibility for being those roles because you were almost completely inauthentic in a sense. Right.
- [59:56]
B
And those are my cookies. Look how good of a girlfriend I am. Look how supportive I am. Look. You know what I mean? The cookies are sometimes a little hidden like that. Right. It's like, look how much I'm helping this person be successful. That's so much more easy than trying to be successful on my own. Right.
- [60:11]
A
So from. I mean, I don't know anything about the relationship, but if I was in that and I'd be like, wow, okay, this person. This is who this person is. They're showing up in this way and now they're trying to be something different. It might be confusing.
- [60:22]
B
Very.
- [60:22]
A
For the guy.
- [60:23]
B
Oh, no. Very.
- [60:24]
A
So it's beyond. Right. He's probably like, wait a minute. You were super supportive and now something is shifting and now you're trying to be this other thing that's not, you know.
- [60:32]
B
Yeah.
- [60:32]
A
Who are you?
- [60:33]
B
Oh, I played such a good trophy wife and I was good at it. Like you said, like with the previous sport, like, I was good at it. Right. So you can't blame. You have to. I think ultimate self responsibility gives you ultimate power.
- [60:45]
A
Yes.
- [60:45]
B
Of your own life. You. Absolutely everything is for your own movie. So it's always, I, I, I, I, I. I played the good role. I played the thing. And therefore I got out of it what I put in.
- [60:55]
A
Right.
- [60:55]
B
It doesn't matter about who the character is that I was playing with. I would have played that character on.
- [60:59]
A
Whoever it Was who anyone until you learned the lesson exactly that this wasn't. I mean, maybe it's like, okay, I can be this sometimes, but this is not the role I'm supposed to be playing in my life right now. Is that what it sounds like? This is interesting, but here's the other interesting thing. You'd been studying human design for I guess three to five years by that point already. So what were you not listening to with your own study and practice of human design?
- [61:28]
B
Yes.
- [61:28]
A
What was your human design telling you to do that you were directly going against?
- [61:33]
B
This is really interesting, I think the emotional piece again actually with us. Because I was so suppressing my own. My joy and my sadness.
- [61:42]
A
You were suppressing it?
- [61:43]
B
Suppressing it.
- [61:44]
A
Why were you suppressing joy?
- [61:45]
B
Because I think England is a little different than America. You know, you can't be too. There were certain situations where I felt like. And therefore was told. But that's because I felt like it. Right. That's why it actualized in the outside world. You can't just, you, you can't just drink tea at midnight and just be dancing on the, on the table by yourself, like, you know, have some alcohol, fit in, like sit down and be cool and have conversations. And you know, I, I felt this like, want to be kind of like, you know, unboundedly joyful for no reason that I suppressed. And I also suppressed tears. Right.
- [62:20]
A
Because you're. Because friends or society in England was like, oh, don't be too happy.
- [62:24]
B
Like you're wacky. It's crazy. Yeah.
- [62:26]
A
Relax a little bit.
- [62:27]
B
Yeah. You contemplate.
- [62:28]
A
And when you were emotional or crying, they were like, what are you crying for? You know, they couldn't take it either way. The extremes.
- [62:34]
B
Yes.
- [62:34]
A
Kind of keep it in the middle of this. Not surfacey, but kind of not fully authentic.
- [62:39]
B
Yes.
- [62:40]
A
Way of being is what I'm hearing you say. At least the people you're with or the, the places you're around.
- [62:44]
B
Yes.
- [62:45]
A
So you were suppressing both emotions.
- [62:48]
B
Yes.
- [62:48]
A
All to enjoyable to be more accepted or fit in. Interesting. And now to try to belong.
- [62:55]
B
Yes.
- [62:55]
A
But you weren't being fully authentic or vulnerable.
- [62:58]
B
No.
- [62:58]
A
And so you weren't actually belonging at all because you weren't belonging to yourself.
- [63:04]
B
And if you, if you take it in this frame, like you're asking me, the emotion is your motor center as an emotional being. Right. When you're an emotional being, emotions. Your power center comes from your solar plexus. Right.
- [63:17]
A
And you took it away.
- [63:18]
B
So when you take that away, firstly you have less energy Second of all, you can't make decisions, the correct decisions in your life, and you're suppressing all of your life force from directing your life forward. So if you imagine, okay, there was already certain things that were supposed to be in play to move my life forward for me from the universe, just like there is for all of us. You're literally holding them back from just instead of just letting them, unleashing them. Right? Letting your destiny move through you. Right? Because you're just holding yourself back because you're saying, this is not a good way to be. I don't want to be this way. I don't want to be an emotional being. Okay? So you're constricting all of that life was inside of you instead of letting it out.
- [63:55]
A
Wow.
- [63:55]
B
So then you stay small and you.
- [63:57]
A
Don'T use your voice.
- [64:00]
B
At all.
- [64:03]
A
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- [66:30]
B
Not until the end. And then I think I'd suppressed it so much that it came out completely. How do you put this? Disproportionate. You know when you keep so many things inside?
- [66:40]
A
Extreme.
- [66:41]
B
Yeah, you. You say something. Well, not even extreme, but you say, I'm not happy. And someone's like, what do you mean you're not happy? It's come out of nowhere.
- [66:47]
A
Like, you seemed happy the last few years. Yeah.
- [66:49]
B
You know, and that's unfair to do on a person.
- [66:52]
A
Yeah.
- [66:53]
B
Instead of communicate along the way of, I feel sad today and I don't know why, and it's nothing to do with you, but I just need my space to be sad. Right. That's what emotionals need to be doing. There's no rhyme or reason. Sometimes when you feel really teary or you feel like I have different emotional wave to other people, different sizes, different behaviors, different patterns of emotions. Mine is kind of sad and happy. Sad and happy. Like I feel teary and then I want to dance down the street some other within, like a moment for day to day, I'd say, okay, gotcha. And then other people, you know, when they are really low, and these are people who often get diagnosed as being, you know, manic or bipolar or whatever. There's just some people who have so much creative emotional power in them. Think about people who've moved the world through a song about a breakup. Right. When they're in that songwriting process, they need to remove themselves and be away from people. Admire in that sadness so fully because it creates something inside them. But instead, if they're like, no. Put on a brave face and go out there and be with people and hide that. That it's saving. It's basically muffling all of that creative power inside them. Right. Low and high emotions is what makes a human experience worth living. If everything was just neutral, there'd be no point in being here. Right. So the emotionals color life. But we also need to be mindful of how much we allow other people like you to understand it's not about you. If I'm sad today, and if I come to you and I say I'm really sad today, can I cry? And then you hold my hand. That makes us bond more and you know it's not about you. Right. And so it creates deeper intimacy when people are okay with their emotions. Right. And sharing them.
- [68:37]
A
Yeah, 100%. What do you think are the keys to manifesting?
- [68:39]
B
I think there's a couple. Firstly, did you manifest it or did the universe give you the sign of what to want? Because that's what it was trying to send you or get you to go towards in the first place. Right. Is it your voice or is it the universe's voice inside you?
- [68:55]
A
How do you know?
- [68:56]
B
Yeah, that's the number one thing. And I think the second thing about manifesting is there's a difference between manifesting a chocolate cake. Okay. Versus manifesting your purpose, your destiny, your soulmates, your life partners, things that are like really your things that were always supposed to be yours and always supposed to come to you. I think it's almost egotistical to say you manifested them or maybe they just need to be different words. Did you put the amount of energy into the right things and grow your consciousness to a level that you were able to then get those things? If that's what you want to call manifesting, Those are the things. And in which case it's okay to want anything, including money, if it comes from your soul. And you almost can't explain why you want that thing. If you're going after something you think you want because it's going to give you something else, then that's a short circuit because you might get it. But then like you said, it might not stay or you might not be fulfilled during it. So I think you can manifest anything, but you may as well manifest those things that your soul really wants rather than the things that you think you should be manifesting or from an ego place.
- [70:00]
A
How do we know when it's a soul desire versus an ego desire that we want to manifest something?
- [70:07]
B
I think an ego desire is I want it because it's going to give me something else, like a secondary thing or because I Think I will like myself more or my parents will like me more when I want it, or I'll be more impressive to others. Like you were saying about making other people happy, that kind of stuff. In which case, if you really want to make your parents happy, and that's a true desire from inside, and you really feel this yearning from within that you don't even know why you want your parents to be happy, Maybe that was your karma of your life. Then just ask for that. Don't short circuit it by asking for the thing that you think is necessary for you to get that end result. Just ask for the end result and let the universe fill in the details. You know, But I think when it comes from your soul, you can't explain why you want it. You just. It's just this drive of like. And, you know, I tell people, people you can see in people's design, people who are motivated by money, their soul just wants money or their soul just wants fame or wants to be recognized or wants to be seen. There's nothing inherently evil or wrong about those things, right? Because, for example, your soul might make you want money so that you move into the house that's next door to the person that you had the greatest karma to heal with. We don't know what leads to what. So it's not good to, like, judge them by certain things that are good to want or bad to want, but if you want them from a true purpose reason, it's coming from inside you, and you can't explain why you want it or what you think it's going to give you. You just know you want it.
- [71:28]
A
This has been inspiring human design, the revolutionary system that shows you who you came here to be. I want you guys to make sure to get a copy of the book, go to the app myhumandesign.com or you can go to my human Design on the App Store as well to learn more about your energy type, the gifts that you have, and the roadmap that you should be taking in your life to live more fully, more authentically, and allow flow to come into your life. Make sure you guys get a copy of this. The universe has a plan for you, and human design is here to help you find it. So if you feel like you're not sure what's happening in your life, you feel stuck. You feel just not clear. This can be a great place for you to get more clear on your unique blueprint and how to follow the roadmap. You're also on social media yourself. Jenna, Zoe on Instagram. My human design on Instagram as well. And the book, myhumandesign.com book. This is a question I ask everyone towards the end of my interviews. It's called the Three Truths. So imagine a hypothetical scenario. It's the last day on earth, many years away. You get to live as long as you want to live. And you get to create and manifest all of the things that your human design tells you you're supposed to do. But for whatever reason, on this last day, you have to take everything with you. The book, the app, the content, everything you've ever said or shared is gone from this world. But you get to leave behind three lessons to the world. Three things you know to be true. And this is all we have to remember you by are these three truths. What would that be for you?
- [73:06]
B
Believe in every natural inclination inside you that you don't understand, all those random things about you that you think are unacceptable, uncool. Nothing is in you by accident. So take a chance on those random, small, uncool things. Stretch yourself a little bit every day to make yourself more proud of yourself. Nothing will give you the self esteem than feeling like you've cultivated more of yourself and shared it with people every day.
- [73:41]
A
That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Before I ask the final question, Jenna, I want to acknowledge you for your courage to take on this journey for your life. And because you've taken on this journey for your life, you're able to help and inspire and impact so many more people than lacking the courage, than staying stuck or staying in a stagnant place in your life. You've opened yourself up to serve more, and that's really beautiful. So I'm grateful for you for leaning into this gift of yours, to this weird uniqueness of yours inside of you and taking the steps toward it. It's been really inspiring to learn more about you, to connect with you today, to hear about the work you're doing with human design and the tens of thousands of people every day who are tapping into the information within them through your work. So I'm really grateful for what you're doing. Before I ask the final question, is there anything else on your heart or mind that we missed that you feel like we should be talking about today, that you feel like if the audience really heard that, it would support them on a different level?
- [74:48]
B
How much time you got? I'm kidding. One of the things I think I'm seeing a lot of recently is a lot of questioning our worth, a lot of sitting on our couch trying to find our problems sitting on our couch, trying to feel worthy, sitting on. I think a lot of it is that you flexing yourself out in the real world is what will give you the feedback that you are worthy. That will give you the feedback that you are not. As you know you are not. Your trauma. Going out and playing with matters, with the fabric of life is what changes us. You know, rather than trying to. Meditation is amazing and you know, visualizing and all those things are wonderful. But there's a true alchemy in Let me this whole thing is set up here for you to dance with. Right. And I think there's a real powerful thing in reframing action as push, push, push, grab, grab, grab, than just like, let me see with all this stuff, like, what can I do with it? You know, and that's when you really learn about what you're capable of is when you see yourself be it. And that's so healing.
- [75:54]
A
I think so. Not just sitting in your room asking yourself, am I worthy? But going out and living life and experiencing it and playing with the magic of life.
- [76:03]
B
Yeah. And so that you can see your worthiness come out of you. So you can see, oh, I actually do like how good of a person I am to this person. I actually do like seeing myself come out of this effortless gift that comes out of me. And I do see that not everyone has it. And oh, so maybe it is there. Right. Because again, if you're sitting at home, it's only through your mind that you're understanding it. You're not living it through feeling it in your cells. You know?
- [76:26]
A
Absolutely.
- [76:26]
B
There's a difference.
- [76:27]
A
That's beautiful. Final question. What's your definition of greatness?
- [76:33]
B
Taking everything that is yours to begin with and turning it into an expression that you love.
- [76:42]
A
Joe, thank you so much. Appreciate you. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links and if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe. Subscribe to our greatness+channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great. The who's down and who Newville were.
- [77:40]
B
Making their list, but some didn't know.
- [77:42]
A
Walmart has the best brands for their gifts. What about toys? Do they have brands kids have been wanting all year? Yep.
- [77:49]
B
Barbie, Tony's and Lego. Gifts that will make them all cheer.
- [77:52]
A
Do you mean they have all the brands?
- [77:54]
B
I assume they have Nintendo, Nespresso, Apple, and more.
- [77:58]
A
What about so the who answered questions from friends till they were blue. Each one listened and shouted from Walmart?
- [78:04]
B
Who knew?
- [78:05]
A
Shop gifts from top brands for everyone.
- [78:07]
B
On your list in the Walmart app at Capella University. Learning online doesn't mean learning alone. You'll get support from people who care about your success, like your enrollment specialist who gets to know you and the goals you'd like to achieve. You'll also get a designated academic coach who's with you throughout your entire program. Plus, career coaches are available to help you navigate your professional goals. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at Capella Eduardo.