The School of Greatness | Lewis Howes

Episode: Start With Yourself: The Mindset That Built an Empire | Emma Grede

Date: April 13, 2026
Guest: Emma Grede (Co-founder/CEO of Good American, Founding Partner of SKIMS, author of Start With Yourself)

Episode Overview

In this powerful conversation, Lewis Howes sits down with Emma Grede, celebrated entrepreneur behind multiple billion-dollar brands and author of Start With Yourself, to unpack the mindset, self-leadership, and resilience that shaped her rise from modest beginnings in East London to the forefront of the American business world. Emma offers candid insights on ambition, overcoming limiting beliefs, building authentic relationships, balancing motherhood with entrepreneurship, and why self-fulfillment—and starting with yourself—is the true foundation of greatness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Redefining Success—Beyond Billion Dollar Dreams

• Timestamp: 01:46 – 02:20
  Emma launches straight into debunking the myth that only “unicorn” scale businesses matter:
  “I think that we've got ourselves into a really dangerous position when we feel like the only businesses that are valid are billion dollar un sized and shaped ones... Are the limitations real, or are you putting them on yourself before you get out of the gate?” (Emma Grede, 01:46)

2. From East London to Entrepreneur

• Emma’s Foundation:
  She shares how her upbringing—eldest of 4 in a single-mother household—instilled capability and resourcefulness:
  “By like, 10 or 11, I could cook dinner for five people... I really believed that. And I think I was lucky, cause I had a mom that really... gave me a lot of hope in myself.” (Emma Grede, 03:19)
  • She never saw herself as disadvantaged but “superior to people around me” because of her life skills (03:19–06:29).
  • Her mother’s mantra: “You’re not better than anyone, but no one's better than you.” (03:19)
• On Class & Self-Belief:
  Emma discusses navigating England’s class system—never believing others were superior based on upbringing or education.

3. Relationships, Intuition & High Standards

• Choosing Her Partner:
  Emma details meeting (and eventually marrying) her business partner, maintaining high standards throughout:
  “I was always really clear about what type of man I would want to be with... I kept those standards really high. I was not gonna settle.” (Emma Grede, 10:03)
  • She immediately knew he was “the one,” demonstrating trust in her intuition (11:19–12:22).
• On Intuition in Business:
  Emma credits intuition as a superpower—choosing not to “people please” even at large financial opportunities:
  “I don't need to sacrifice my integrity... I'm wired not to be a people pleaser. It just isn't in me.” (Emma Grede, 14:54)

4. Community vs. Independence

• The Balance:
  While Emma identifies as fiercely independent, she values connectedness:
  “My expectation on people is never that they will be everything to me…I need all of them. I need everything.” (Emma Grede, 17:56)
  • She addresses the cost and loneliness of moving away from home for opportunity (19:58).

5. Learning From Failure and Embracing Growth

• Growth Mindset:
  Both Lewis and Emma discuss how the “ascent to greatness” is shaped by adversity and failure:
  “I've retrained my mind…to look for the fear, to look for the moment where I might not come out on the other side in the best way, because I know that's where all the growth is.” (Emma Grede, 21:55)
• Managing Emotions:
  Emma’s journey with anger (anger management at 19), learning emotion ≠ identity:
  “I didn't understand that you could take a deep breath…that there can be some detachment from who you are. I thought that was who I was.” (28:06)
  • Influenced by Oprah: self-visioning, gratitude, and emotional ownership (32:23)

6. Escaping Limiting Environments

• Vision for Herself:
  Left home to avoid the fate she saw around her—emotional and financial codependence:
  “I was scared less that I would end up like all the women I could see crying over some guy...devastated...left broke and alone.” (34:23)
• Practical Steps:
  Emma always had her own bank accounts, lawyers, etc., as a safeguard (36:19)

7. Mindset Shifts: UK vs. USA

• On the ‘American Dream’:
  “There is nowhere on earth that in eight or nine years you can come to and have the kind of success... as I had [in America].” (Emma Grede, 39:41)
  • The American system allowed her to reinvent herself free from societal baggage (45:06)

8. Honest Reflections on Balance and Sacrifice

• Motherhood & Entrepreneurship:
  Emma dispels “having it all” myths, discussing conscious trade-offs:
  “The trade-offs are always things that you really, really want to do. So you have to choose your life.” (55:33)
• Self-First (Without Guilt):
  “If I'm not good, then no one around me is good...I know that feels difficult to hear from a mother of four, but it's really the trick.” (56:13)

9. Wealth, Ambition, and Why It’s Ok to Want Success

• Money Mindset:
  Openly talks about centering money in work:
  “Yes, I always put money in the center of my plans. I never imagined it would find me because I didn't know anybody that that happened to.” (62:55)
  “If you don't make money at the center of your work, what will happen to you? Well, it avoids you.” (64:17)

10. Visibility & Proximity in Career

• Being Present:
  Emma emphasizes the importance of in-person presence and visibility for career growth:
  “If you're really ambitious and you want a great career, visibility and proximity is essential...You want a pay rise? I need to see you, like, in the office.” (69:55)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

“You’re not better than anyone, but no one's better than you.”
—Emma Grede, (03:19) quoting her mother

“You've got to make sure that your biggest enemy isn't between your own two ears.”
—Emma Grede, (02:20)

“The ascent to greatness is rarely pretty and you'll learn the most from failure.”
—Lewis Howes referencing Emma’s book (20:42)

“I thought that I am that person...I only had that. That was my default mode. And so...when you know better, you do better.”
—Emma Grede (28:06)

“It's me against me at the end of the day...Everyone's going to have their point of view...I really tune it out.”
—Emma Grede (54:18)

“If you don't ask, you don't get.”
—Emma Grede (65:34)

“If you're really ambitious...visibility and proximity is essential. It's not a nice to have. It's just essential shot.”
—Emma Grede (69:55)

“Have your hand up. I'll do that. I did everything…Because I was sure that if I could just be excellent…somebody would find me...and guess what? It totally works.”
—Emma Grede (69:05)

Crucial Segments & Timestamps

• Debunking Limiting Beliefs About Success: 01:46–02:20
• Emma’s Childhood & Self-Belief: 03:19–07:56
• Intuitive Decision-Making: 11:39–14:54
• On Community and Connection: 17:56–19:58
• Growth from Failure & Managing Emotions: 21:16–32:23
• Escaping Limitations & Building Independence: 34:23–36:19
• Cultural Mindset Shift in the USA: 39:41–41:20
• Motherhood, Sacrifice, and Priorities: 54:18–57:47
• Money Mindset & Gender: 62:55–65:34
• Proximity and Career Opportunity: 69:05–70:08
• Emma’s “Three Truths”: 79:25–82:55
• Definition of Greatness: 83:04

The Three Truths According to Emma Grede

1. The Importance of Loving Relationships:
   “I felt so loved as a kid...You know how important family is, and to love one another and to love, lead with love.”

2. Your Relationship With Yourself:
   “The most important relationship you'll ever have is the relationship you have with yourself…how you speak to yourself, how you treat yourself…getting close to yourself is so important.”

3. Your Work Isn't What You Think:
   “Be really mindful about how you use your precious energy as it pertains to your output…it’s not just about the businesses but the sum total of your impact and service.”

Definition of Greatness

“It has to be, I guess, self-fulfillment. Because I think at the end of the day, that's what we're all here to do, right? We're here to live up to our highest potential…that is what I'm on a journey for, and I think that’s greatness.”
—Emma Grede (83:04)

Key Takeaways for Listeners

• Challenge Limiting Beliefs: Are your obstacles real, or self-imposed?
• Trust Your Intuition: Build the courage to say no, trust your instincts, and don’t people-please at the expense of your truth.
• Prioritize Self-Work: Success begins with the relationship you have with yourself; your leadership, your parenting, and impact all flow from that center.
• Make Room for Failure: Embrace setbacks as the crucible for your next stage of growth.
• Define Your Own Greatness: Pursue fulfillment, not someone else’s metrics of success.
• Aim for Excellence and Visibility: Show up, be seen, and signal your readiness for more.
• Lead with Resilience and Realism: The grind is real; know what you’re signing up for, and own the upsides and trade-offs.

For More

• Pick up Emma Grede’s book: Start With Yourself: A New Vision for Work and Life
• Find Emma on Instagram and emmagrede.com

This episode is a masterclass on self-leadership, ambition without apology, and how starting with yourself might be the greatest investment you ever make.