The #1 Cause of Breakups & The Spiritual Secret To Attracting Healthy Love | David Ghiyam

Summary

Summary of "The #1 Cause of Breakups & The Spiritual Secret To Attracting Healthy Love | David Ghiyam"

Podcast Title: The School of Greatness
Host: Lewis Howes
Guest: David Ghiyam
Release Date: February 12, 2025

---

Introduction

In this compelling episode of The School of Greatness, Lewis Howes welcomes back David Ghiyam, a spiritual wisdom teacher and successful entrepreneur. The focus of their discussion centers on love, relationships, and the spiritual principles that underpin healthy, lasting connections.

---

Understanding the Soul's Journey in Relationships

David Ghiyam introduces the concept of soul contracts based on the wisdom of Kabbalah, explaining how our souls choose specific challenges and relationships to foster personal growth.

• Soul Contracts and Karmic Debt: David explains that our souls bring spiritual baggage from past lives, such as fears and emotional wounds, which shape our current relationships. For instance, a fear of abandonment may lead someone to seek out relationships that challenge them to overcome this fear (07:15).

  "Kabbalah says your soul already had these issues that brought from past life, and you are now choosing parents that will be conducive to awaken what's already inside you." — David Ghiyam [07:15]

• Transforming Negativity: To create miracles in love and other life areas, one must transform the negativity inherent in their soul contracts. This transformation is facilitated through challenging relationships that bring underlying issues to the surface (05:40).

---

Manifesting Healthy Love vs. Toxic Relationships

David delves into the common pitfalls people encounter when trying to manifest healthy love and the spiritual missteps that lead to toxic relationships.

• The Biggest Mistake in Manifesting Love: People often focus on seeking the "perfect partner" instead of building their own spiritual vessel. This misalignment results in attracting relationships that are initially exciting but ultimately unsustainable (05:40).

  "The only way to do that is actually to be put in situations that bring that out." — David Ghiyam [06:00]

• Giving vs. Taking: A key discussion revolves around the balance of giving in relationships. Over-giving, without consideration of the other person's capacity to receive, leads to resentment and eventual breakups. David illustrates this with the story of a man who overwhelms his partner with gifts, setting unsustainable expectations (10:12).

  "When you give, not understanding what the vessel can hold, appreciate and use, you're actually hurting the person." — David Ghiyam [10:40]

• Bread of Shame: David introduces the concept of the "bread of shame," where receiving more than one can handle leads to feelings of frustration and judgment. This occurs when one’s spiritual vessel is not adequately prepared to receive abundance (15:30).

  "The bread of shame is a feeling you get when you receive something you have not either physically or spiritually earned." — David Ghiyam [15:30]

---

Building the Soul's Vessel for Abundance and Love

A central theme of the conversation is the importance of developing one's spiritual vessel to handle the energy and abundance that comes into life.

• Spiritual Vessel Development: David emphasizes that focusing inward on building a strong spiritual vessel is crucial for attracting and maintaining healthy relationships. This involves self-awareness, setting boundaries, and embracing both giving and receiving without ulterior motives (17:19).

  "Kabbalah is all about how do I build my vessel. We are too consumed with trying to find out how do I get more light, how do I get more energy... and less focused on how do I build my spiritual vessel to hold the energy that is already there." — David Ghiyam [17:19]

• Free Will and Destiny: David discusses the interplay between destiny and free will, explaining that while our life's path is pre-programmed, we have the agency to shift our destinies through conscious spiritual growth, especially during periods of darkness and challenge (17:19).

  "The only way to shift up a destiny or down a destiny is to go through a period of darkness." — David Ghiyam [18:47]

---

Personal Journey and Lessons Learned

David shares his personal experiences, highlighting how his dedication to serving others initially led him to neglect his own needs, resulting in financial struggles and relationship challenges.

• Balancing Giving and Receiving: He recounts his decade-long focus on giving and helping others without allowing himself to receive, which hindered his personal growth and abundance until he learned to embrace both aspects (35:21).

  "Kabbalah also teaches which I totally ignored, which is I also need to receive." — David Ghiyam [35:22]

• Transformation Through Relationships: David discusses his marriage, separation, and the cooperative co-parenting relationship he maintains with his ex-wife. He attributes much of his growth to learning to receive and set healthy boundaries (34:08).

---

Manifesting Love from a Place of Worthiness

Towards the end of the episode, David addresses how individuals can shift their beliefs to feel deserving of the love they seek.

• Deserving Love: He posits that one can only receive what they believe they deserve. By examining and adjusting these beliefs, individuals can align themselves to attract healthy, fulfilling relationships (65:08).

  "What do you believe you deserve to receive? It's a pie chart... If there's a desire in you that you're not aware of, it will sabotage your efforts to manifest healthy love." — David Ghiyam [65:08]

• Shifting Consciousness: David encourages listeners to focus on their own growth and vessel-building rather than seeking external validation or fulfillment through others. This internal shift facilitates attracting partners who are spiritually aligned (54:26).

  "Instead, choose today to bless this person, to love this person, to reach out." — David Ghiyam [56:40]

---

Conclusion and Teasers for Part Two

Lewis Howes and David Ghiyam conclude by emphasizing the importance of building one's spiritual vessel over merely seeking the right partner. They hint at a forthcoming second part that will explore the differences between what men and women seek in relationships on a soul level.

• Focus on Self-Growth: The episode wraps up with a recap of the key message: prioritize personal spiritual development to naturally attract healthy relationships (74:02).

• Upcoming Content: Listeners are encouraged to subscribe and stay tuned for the next episode, which will delve into what men and women truly desire in long-term, healthy relationships (75:34).

  "It's about figuring out how do I build my vessel on a spiritual and soul level and expand it for healthy, abundant, harmonious, aligned love." — Lewis Howes [74:02]

---

Notable Quotes

• "The only way to do that is actually to be put in situations that bring that out." — David Ghiyam [06:00]

• "When you give, not understanding what the vessel can hold, appreciate and use, you're actually hurting the person." — David Ghiyam [10:40]

• "Kabbalah is all about how do I build my vessel." — David Ghiyam [17:19]

• "What do you believe you deserve to receive?" — David Ghiyam [65:08]

---

Key Takeaways

1. Focus on Self-Growth: Prioritize building your spiritual vessel to attract and maintain healthy relationships.
2. Understand Soul Contracts: Recognize that your relationships are opportunities for personal and spiritual growth.
3. Balance Giving and Receiving: Ensure that your generosity aligns with both your needs and your partner's capacity to receive.
4. Shift Your Beliefs: Evaluate and transform your beliefs about deserving love to enhance your ability to receive it.
5. Embrace Free Will: Use challenging relationships as catalysts for shifting your destiny towards greater fulfillment.

---

Final Thoughts

This episode offers profound insights into the spiritual dynamics of love and relationships. By understanding and applying the principles discussed by David Ghiyam, listeners can embark on a transformative journey towards experiencing healthy, fulfilling love grounded in spiritual harmony.

For those eager to delve deeper, stay tuned for the upcoming second part of this discussion, where the nuances of what men and women seek in relationships will be explored in greater detail.

Transcript

[Lewis Howes]

There are two big things happening at.

[David Guillaume]

One time that I've never done before.

[Lewis Howes]

I'm going on a book tour for.

[David Guillaume]

My new book Make Money Easy and I'm doing a podcast tour at the same time. It is going to be big and I'm going to seven cities in 10 days. Get your friends, get your family. Bring everyone you know to these cities. I'm coming to Austin, Texas, New York.

[Lewis Howes]

Boston, we're going to Nashville.

[David Guillaume]

Then we're going to Los Angeles, San Diego and San Francisco. Make sure to get your tickets right now. Go to Lewishouse.com tour again. Bring everyone you know. If you're looking to create more financial freedom and abundance in your life and.

[Lewis Howes]

You want to see a massive guest.

[David Guillaume]

Live on the School of Greatness show, get your tickets.

[Lewis Howes]

I can't wait to see you there. Welcome back.

[David Guillaume]

My friend Lewis Howes here and I.

[Lewis Howes]

Am so excited about this episode. David Guillaume has been on the show multiple times now and this is all about love and relationships. If you feel like you've struggled or you've had some toxic patterns that you have been jumping in relationship after relationship that hasn't worked for you, David's going to reveal and share the transformational wisdom about how our souls choose specific challenges to help us grow. And sometimes this is the worst and it hurts the most in intimate relationships and in love.

[David Guillaume]

And also why focusing on building your.

[Lewis Howes]

Spiritual vessel is more important than than searching for the perfect partner.

[David Guillaume]

You may not want to hear that, but some powerful insights are about to come.

[Lewis Howes]

Also, we've got a new book called Make Money Easy that is coming out very soon.

[David Guillaume]

Make sure to get your copy because it's about healing your relationship to money and also about how relationships in our.

[Lewis Howes]

Lives and money, when they mix without having some of these principles in place.

[David Guillaume]

Will really hurt your relationships as well. So make sure to get your copy.

[Lewis Howes]

Of this to support you on your journey to becoming financially free. Free within your relationships as well. Without further ado, let's dive in.

[David Guillaume]

The School of Greatness is proudly sponsored by Amica Insurance. As Amica says, empathy is our best policy. That's why they'll go above and beyond to tailor your insurance coverage to best fit your needs. Whether you're on the road, at home or traveling along life's journey, their friendly and knowledgeable representatives will work with you to ensure you have the right coverage in place. Amica will provide you with peace of mind. Go to amica.com and get a quote today. Some people think self care is indulgent. You know, firsthand that's a myth. And you know what else is a myth that Discover isn't widely accepted. The truth is Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. You heard that right, 99%. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. It pays to Discover. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report. Learn more at discover.com credit card Westin Hotels and Resorts are designed with your well being in mind. With more than 200 destinations around the world, Westin Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling. And if there's one thing I've learned from being on the go all the time, it's how important it is to prioritize quality sleep no matter where you are. With signature amenities and offerings that help you move well, eat well and sleep well, Westin Hotels makes travel an opportunity to enhance your well being. Look forward to the rest with restorative sleep in Westin's iconic Heavenly bed. Find wellness at Westin, one of 30 extraordinary hotel brands in the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio.

[Lewis Howes]

Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring David Guillaume back in the house. Good to see you man.

[David Guillaume]

Thank you for having me.

[Lewis Howes]

Very excited about this. Our first interview that we did has over a million views on YouTube and has spread like wildfire in people's hearts in a way that really resonates with people. You're a spiritual wisdom teacher for many years, but you've also created a billion dollar business with Mary Ruth, with your founder Mary Ruth. And you've done a lot of powerful things in the business world but also in the spiritual world and in your workshops and classes. You teach a lot about relationships. Our first episode, which we'll link up for people as well, go watch that. That was really a one on one on manifesting.

[David Guillaume]

Yeah, it was more about manifestation.

[Lewis Howes]

It was a one on one on how to really set up and align your life to manifest more of anything you want. This one what we're going over is how to really manifest a powerful, committed relationship and stop getting in toxic relationships. I can speak for myself. I got in relationship after relationship that felt exciting in the beginning but then turned. I don't know if I would say toxic, but turned.

[David Guillaume]

How do people define toxic?

[Lewis Howes]

I just think if there's always a breakdown, you know, that's how I would think about it. Maybe it's a relationship that's just in breakdown mode constantly. I think toxic is more of man. This is like Scary. Like, scary where it's, like, aggressive, abusive. I feel like that's toxic. I think I was more in just broken relationships. We just weren't aligned, all of them. And I take responsibility for creating them and the space I brought into those relationships and the intention, all these different things. But I guess my first question for you is, is it possible to manifest love, healthy love, and also, what is the biggest mistake that people are making when they try to manifest healthy love?

[David Guillaume]

Mmm. What is the biggest mistake people make when they try to manifest healthy love? Well, first off, when I'm sharing these spiritual concepts, which is based on the wisdom of Kabbalah, Kabbalah is explaining what's happening on a soul level, why our soul comes to this world, what is the karmic debt and spiritual baggage we're bringing into this world. The soul is then choosing parents that align vibrationally with whatever it is I need to go through in order to become the greatest version of myself. So I don't know if I mentioned this last time, but if my soul brings this spiritual baggage of a fear of abandonment, and in order for me to create miracles in my life and miracles in the area of sustenance, in love, in health, and healing, in wisdom, in just to have peace of mind and joy, in order for me to create those miracles, the Kabbalists explained that I have to transform the negativity that my soul came to the world with. But the only way to do that is actually to be put in situations that bring that out. Really, A therapist might tell you, hey, look, you have abandonment issues because you had parents who divorced when you were young, causing you to have these fears and have these avoidant issues. Kabbalah says the opposite. Kabbalah says your soul already had these issues that brought from past life, and you are now choosing parents that will be conducive to awaken what's already inside you.

[Lewis Howes]

So it's almost like if you don't believe that you had a soul contract coming to this world, if you don't have a foundational belief of, like, okay, you were here with this type of wound or with this type of whatever soul contract that you needed to heal, that you needed to, you actually need this challenge to become the greatest version of you. And without it, you won't be able to fulfill your life's mission. Yeah, you almost need to believe that in order to say, okay, this is all actually beautiful. The toxic relationships I've had, the abusive partners, the people that lied or cheated on me or the things that I did to Other people that were out of integrity. This is actually meant to happen for you.

[David Guillaume]

Correct.

[Lewis Howes]

So that you can learn how to overcome it 100%.

[David Guillaume]

Because any other school of thought would always put you as the effect and you will then always be looking on the outside who to blame.

[Lewis Howes]

My parents did this and you know, and then this person was a bad partner. And then correct.

[David Guillaume]

And it's not the highest vibration. But I always tell people it's not about you need to believe that you had a soul contract. I always say, like I'm going to share this content, which is not my content. It's from thousands of years of ancient spiritual wisdom of all the sages and all the different religions actually that were very spiritual in its original intention and become more religious now. I always share like this. This wisdom has been there to show us that we are in control and that it is our birthright to have the absolute greatest life in every area. The Creator wants to give us even more then we want to receive. And it says, it says that the Creator wants to give us endlessly more energy than even we know. But it looks like things are being deprived from us. It looks like the world is a very dark place and people are against me and certain circumstances aren't fair and people are born in different situations that aren't fair. And it does look like that. But the truth is, every single soul has a pathway to the greatest miracles that they could ever possibly imagine. Every soul has a pathway towards their soulmate, even if it looks like they don't. Every soul has a pathway towards having financial freedom. Even if it looks dark and impossible and you don't know where it's going to come from, there is a pathway. The fact that you don't see it, there's a spiritual reason. It's because our soul asked not to see it. Our soul asked not to be born with our soulmate. Our soul asked not to be born knowing our purpose. Our soul asked to be put in a world of darkness so that we could activate our God gene and earn all of this fulfillment.

[Lewis Howes]

So it shouldn't just be given to us.

[David Guillaume]

Anything that is just given to us makes us feel shame and we resent it. Because when you give someone something they have not earned, they feel the opposite. They feel they received less. So a lot of times people who don't appreciate us, it's not because we didn't give them enough. It's because we gave them too much. And so they keep thinking, I'm not getting. But it's not that they're not getting. It's that we're giving them so much. We're flooding their vessel and too much light becomes darkness.

[Lewis Howes]

Really?

[David Guillaume]

Yeah. When you're giving, not understanding what the vessel can hold, appreciate and use.

[Lewis Howes]

Which vessel? Yours or the other person?

[David Guillaume]

Other person's vessel. This is the number one thing in relationships that's causing breakups to happen or resentment to happen, let's say. And I have an example of this. I remember coaching this couple. This guy basically said, I found this amazing girl. We've been dating, and it's finally like, I am. So I found my dream goal. I'm so in love. And this is amazing. It's been like three weeks. And I said, amazing. What are you guys doing? He said, I'm taking her here. I'm doing this. I'm introducing her to my family. All that.

[Lewis Howes]

I'm giving her the world.

[David Guillaume]

Giving her the world. And I said, wow, that's amazing. He's like, yeah. I said, I would love to meet her. So I met her and she had this beautiful Rolex watch. But it was like a male, it wasn't a female watch. I said, that's a beautiful watch.

[Lewis Howes]

It's kind of big on her wrist.

[David Guillaume]

It's kind of bigger on her wrist. Yeah. She's like, hey, I have a brand that got it for me in three.

[Lewis Howes]

Weeks of knowing her.

[David Guillaume]

Yeah. So that for me, I looked at it, I said, that's so generous of him.

[Lewis Howes]

And a very expensive gift within the first month of knowing a person.

[David Guillaume]

Later on, I found that he also gave her a credit card and said, hey, look, you know, this is like, whatever you need. Because he wanted to make her feel comfortable.

[Lewis Howes]

Of course.

[David Guillaume]

He wanted to show her how much he loved her. He wanted her to. He understood her love. Language was gifts and acts of service. Like, I want to give that to her.

[Lewis Howes]

And he wanted her to feel safe and wow her or woo her as well.

[David Guillaume]

Correct. So I know kabbalistically what happens to a soul when you give them too much energy, you give them too much of something that they have not earned or don't have the capacity to receive or are using it for their own lack and need. So this girl figured out how to get him to give to her. Gifts, love, expression, to fill her needs. Then I went to Brandon and I said, brandon, you need to know something. I've seen this before. I know you're excited about this relationship. I know you don't want to lose it, but because you're so afraid of losing it, you're over giving. And you're literally pouring 16 ounces of water in an 8 ounce glass.

[Lewis Howes]

And you're creating a standard that you're going to have to live up to for the length of this relationship. If you're doing this much in the first few months and then you stop doing it, you think she's going to be happy with that? She's going to say, oh, you were creating a standard for me. Now I expect $10,000 credit card every month and a new watch every month and shoes. And the way you're wowing me in the first month. You think a woman's going to be happy if you just cut it all off and say, I'm going to give you a lot less. Now, that's not going to go well in the relationship.

[David Guillaume]

You're 100% correct. Because he thinks he's giving, but he is destroying. So he's actually taking from her by giving, or what he thinks is giving.

[Lewis Howes]

But a lot of women watching or listening might say, that sounds like a dream, man. He's just going to take me out and he's going to pay for everything and he's going to take me on expensive trips.

[David Guillaume]

He's in his masculine, this is great.

[Lewis Howes]

He's going to provide for me right away the way I feel like I deserve. A man should treat me.

[David Guillaume]

I've met with thousands of women, one on one, maybe 20% of them have been in this situation. The way this usually ends up, if there isn't a spiritual course correct, is she leaves him. Why? She doesn't respect him. And this is what she says to her friends. I don't know. He's really in the frenzy. You're with the perfect guy. I know, I just. Something's missing. The spiritual connection is missing. The emotional connection is missing. The chemistry is missing. Something is missing. Because when you flood the vessel and you don't actually think from the consciousness of what's really good for the soul of this person. Because sometimes giving is setting a boundary. Sometimes giving is sharing how you feel, not from a reactive place, but explaining to her, hey, listen, these are needs that I have that aren't being met and I want to have a conversation about it that's also giving. But if you're always just pacifying somebody, if you're not really thinking about how to grow their soul or to help them or inspire them, you're hurting them. And eventually she will look for something else because it's not making her feel good on a soul level. This concept in Kabbalah is called the bread of Shame, the bread of shame is a feeling you get when you receive something you have not either physically or spiritually earned. The number one way you know you have bread of shame is when you feel frustrated, impatient and judgmental. When you feel very judgmental, you think it's because you're not getting what you want. It's actually because you're getting so much in your life, but you're not working for it. You're not breaking your fears and spiritually earning it. You're not pushing yourself to expand your vessel. So it's another case of there's so much light, you perceive it as darkness.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow.

[David Guillaume]

Think of the people who are non judgmental or appreciative. They are the people who are working the hardest. They are the people who are breaking through stuff. They are the people who are like, what's the next thing I can way, I can give or I can transform? These people aren't sitting around judging and speaking evil speech. Judgment and evil speech is always a result of not living up to your soul's potential and being stagnant spiritually. So you feel emptiness and then you want temporary energy. And the highest form of temporary energy is evil speech and complaining. Because it's so easy. It's right there. It's like it's addictive. It's a drug. So the darkness people feel is not because they're not getting what they want. It's because there's too much energy, too much light, and they haven't built their vessel to hold that energy. Kabbalah is all about how do I build my vessel. We are too consumed with trying to find out how do I get more light, how do I get more energy, how do I get more relationships, how do I get on more dates, how do, how do I get more people to love me, how do I get better looking, how do I get all these things and less focused on how do I build my spiritual vessel to hold the energy that is already there? That's the only thing that matters. And when you think that way, then you look at every relationship as an opportunity to build my vessel. Oh, I attracted a narcissist. I attracted somebody who's toxic. In order for people not to experience the energy of death and darkness and eventually they have to leave this world and come back and fix it again. Everyone is spiritually designed to come to us, to activate the parts of us that are the weakest. So a narcissist or a toxic relationship is the very beautiful thing. Your soul pre programmed and predestined. Now how do you avoid it? I'm not saying we need to.

[Lewis Howes]

Should you avoid it?

[David Guillaume]

Well, we have free will. So Kabbalah explains. There is destiny and there's free will and they both coexist. So what is the destiny? On the day you are born, your entire life's destiny is already pre programmed. Meaning every sneeze you have, every relationship you have, every heartbreak you have, how much money you're going to make, A to Z is already pre programmed. So what's my free will? Parallel to this destiny, there are infinite destinies. Each of them look the same. It's like parallel realities. And each one that goes higher is a better destiny and a more fulfilling one. The only way to shift up a destiny or down a destiny is to go through a period of darkness. Because in periods of darkness you see the weakness. You see what's called the soul's correction. You see your garbage, you see your anger issues, you see your control issues, you see your abandonment issues. You see how you're not actually the nicest person. You see your save your issues, you see your people pleasing issues. And they all come to the surface when things aren't going our way. That is the moment of free will. You only have free will when you're in pain. At that moment, if you act like God, if you act like the creator, and Kabbalah teaches how you do that. If you transform your nature at that moment, and I can give a tool practically for people how to do that. You shift to a new destiny which is already pre programmed but better than the first.

[Lewis Howes]

So for example, so you elevate your.

[David Guillaume]

Destiny, you elevate to a new destiny which is already, it's better, but it's also pre programmed as well.

[Lewis Howes]

Because there's an infinite amount of destinies, there's infinite parallels. You could live the greatest version of yourself destiny, or you could stay stuck until the end of your life and.

[David Guillaume]

Just talk about all the narcissists in that destiny all day long. I agree. In this life you have, there's probably five or six toxic and narcissistic men and women that are going to approach you.

[Lewis Howes]

And they might be your parents, they might be your siblings, they might be like the closest people to you at birth, right?

[David Guillaume]

And what happens, you know, I saw this beautiful thing. I think you did it with Mel Robbins. It's like she was talking about should you block or not block someone after a relationship? And somebody asked me the same question. I said, whether you block or don't block is not even a question. That I desire to answer. You may need to, you may not need to. But if you block narcissist number one in destiny number one, you will be forced to meet narcissist number two within destiny number one. It's not a matter of blocking or not blocking. I want to know why your soul from the beginning of time requested him.

[Lewis Howes]

Or her to come attracted them.

[David Guillaume]

You attracted them for a reason. Often narcissists are attracted to the part of you that doesn't feel you deserve to receive love. We all have shame around receiving. I've seen this. I know. We'll do a whole business thing. We'll do a whole prosperity thing. People are many of the most brilliant people aren't manifesting the wealth that is meant for them because they are subconsciously pushing it away because they feel they don't deserve. So when you feel you don't deserve something, you will attract people who will point that out and they will tell you and they will gaslight you and they will make you feel up and then down. And if all you do is blame them, if all you do is commiserate about them to your friends, gossip about.

[Lewis Howes]

Them or gossip about them, they're doing this to me. Can you believe that? They did this?

[David Guillaume]

Correct. You stay in that same destiny and then you will. But there's a good backup plan. The creator and the universe has a good backup plan. They knew that you might just blame them, so they had a backup number 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6.

[Lewis Howes]

Until you learned the lesson.

[David Guillaume]

Until you learn the lesson. Now some people say, you know what? I'm done with men. I'm done with women. I've heard women say that now they're dating only women because all men are this way or all women are that way. I've heard it all. I've done 25, 30,000 hours of coaching, meeting every single kind of personality.

[Lewis Howes]

This is interesting. What happens when a woman who has been hurt by men over and over again say, I'm swearing off all men. I'm never going to date another man again. I don't trust men. They've all hurt me. They've all been liars and cheaters, and they break my heart every time I'm off men. I'm only going to focus on being with women now or being alone. What happens to that woman when they make that declaration, that commitment, and they swear off men and say, I'm either going to be single the rest of my life because I don't want to deal with them, the BS or the pain or the lies of men, or I'm just going to find a woman that I can be happy with.

[David Guillaume]

So the Creator has created a backup plan for that as well, to make sure that you reach your perfection. So either you will find. Let's say you actually find a woman who's actually great, and you decided now to date women, and this woman is actually great and, like, beautiful, nurturing, all these things. And then you decide to have a child with this woman. Your child will be the narcissist somehow. And here's what's interesting.

[Lewis Howes]

You'll come back around. You've got to face it.

[David Guillaume]

You got to face it. The Creator's backup plan is children and health. So eventually your children will be the ones who will, because you can't disown them. Now, there are some wealthy people who also.

[Lewis Howes]

Who disown them or send them away.

[David Guillaume]

Exactly. But the one thing you can't disown is your body. So I know many, many people are in very powerful positions and situations with all the money in the world and all the doctors in the world, it's very painful because now there's something that's developing inside their body, and then they can't ignore it. And many times I meet those people after some form of sickness or loss, right? Some kind of death or something happened, it breaks their ego. They realize they have a soul. They realize there's a bigger picture. They realize everything they've done in their life hasn't actually gotten them the feeling that they're looking for. And so they start to ask questions. And these questions are, what is the purpose of why I'm here? Why is my soul here? Why did this happen to me? Not from a victim point of view, but because they want to know, and they don't want to repeat that pain again. So I always tell people, here is a spiritual law. If you think your ex or your last relationship was toxic and you believe it and you begin to tell people about it, you must repeat it. If you say your ex is toxic, you're saying the Creator is toxic. Because nothing happens without the Creator's infinite.

[Lewis Howes]

Supervision and influence him. Yeah, yeah.

[David Guillaume]

So if your ex is toxic and you believe it and you're telling everyone, then you're saying that the Creator is toxic. And when you say that, you're basically disconnecting from all of creation, obviously. So then energetically, it plunges you into a whole new process of having to actually go through more and more challenges to course correct you back onto your most miraculous path.

There are so many reasons to get or stay strong.

[Lewis Howes]

Whatever motivates you, reach your fitness goals.

[David Guillaume]

In a special judgment free environment. Planet Fitness At Planet Fitness you'll find best in class equipment for a full body workout from strength training to cardio to stretching. And there are free weights, cable towers, Smith machines, upper and lower body strength machines, treadmills and stair climbers. And don't miss out on the brand new plate loaded machines like hack squats and supine benches too. Most Planet Fitness locations are open 24 hours, so you can work out whenever it fits your schedule. Plus, all members have access to free fitness training and membership starts at just $15 per month. Join today at any convenient location near you online@planet fitness.com or on the free Planet Fitness app. Hours, amenities and offers vary by Club. Must be 18 years old to enroll, or 13 through 17 with a parent or guardian. With a new year comes a new opportunity to reimagine ourselves, revamp your wardrobe or refresh your home's linens with quality pieces, all while staying on budget with Quince. Martha and I actually picked out the European Linen Duvet cover set from Quince to refresh our bedding recently. And let me tell you, this duvet set is so soft, we love it. And making your bed as comfy as possible is the first step to keeping your New Year's resolutions of hitting your sleep goals. There's also no better workout motivation than some new activewear. Their performance tees and tech shorts are perfect for any movement. All Quince pieces are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they partner directly with the top factories, cutting out the cost of the middleman and passing the savings on to you. Upgrade your closet this year without the upgraded price tag. Go to quint.com Lewis for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U I N C E.com Lewis to get free shipping and and 365 day returns quints.com Lewis Westin Hotels and Resorts are designed with your well being in mind. With more than 200 destinations around the world, Westin Hotels makes it possible to keep up with your wellness routine while traveling. And if there's one thing I've learned from being on the go all the time, it's how important it is to prioritize quality sleep no matter where you are. With signature amenities and offerings that help you move well, eat well and sleep well, Westin Hotels makes travel an opportunity to enhance your well being. Look forward to the rest with restorative sleep in Westin's Iconic Heavenly Bed Find wellness at Weston, one of 30 extraordinary hotel brands in the Marriott Bonvoy portfolio.

Now, what's really powerful is. And this is how I'm really trying to focus on this in my own life. Every day. I just want to be on the highest vibration possible. And that includes what? That includes certainty. Always be in a place of certainty. Certainty that everything is good, certainty everything will be good, certainty that everything's coming from the Creator and it's good. And your phone falls on the floor and cracks, you say, this is good. And if someone is speaking poorly about you, you say, this is good. If all of a sudden you have a headache, you say, this is good. If you find out someone's cheating on you or taking your money or giving you a hard time or court cases not going your way, you say, this is good. I'm not saying you just say, this is good and you do nothing else. But in the beginning, you must accept. Because when you accept, and to the degree of your happiness in your acceptance, which also takes work, you vibrate on the level of godliness, because the Creator is a vibration of acceptance, which means you reveal the light of the Creator, then the darkness goes away, and then the most miraculous path is created for you. If you don't vibrate on this level, then you enter into a different pathway that includes many more challenges to force you to the path of certainty again. So why not save the time and the trouble and just go straight to the certainty, straight to the appreciation? And the third one is you always want to be giving more value than you receive, because that's the Creator. The Creator is giving. As soon as the Creator, as soon as you become a taker, you disconnect from the vibration of the Creator, which means you disconnect from the realm of miracles. And part of our spiritual work also is it looks like we're giving, but if we have an agenda, we're actually still taking.

[Lewis Howes]

Really? Yeah.

[David Guillaume]

So if I have. If I'm. If I don't know if I do you a favor, but in my mind, my consciousness, oh, yeah, I want him.

[Lewis Howes]

To do something back for me.

[David Guillaume]

I have an ask later on or whatever. At that moment, the energy actually shifts to the vibration of taking. And there's a lot of people out there, like, I'm giving so much. I'm doing so much. Why am I not seeing miracles?

[Lewis Howes]

There's one or two reasons you're expecting something in return.

[David Guillaume]

Well, exactly. There's one or two reasons. The first is you're expecting something in return that you're not aware of. It could even be validation. Somebody asked me, how are you going to get to your dream of reaching, let's say, 100 million people to bring Kabbalah in? There's really only one way I can get there. It's not the best marketing or the best content. It's. I have to get to a place which I'm not there. I'll be honest, I'm not there. That I don't need the validation of my audience in any way whatsoever. Meaning if they told me I am the worst human being or if they told me I'm the greatest human being, it would be the same. Then I'm not taking from my audience anymore. Yeah. It's one thing that I don't monetize my content. I'm not asking people to do this and do that for me. That's one level of not taking, but the highest level for all of us content creators. Or if we're on a stage, when you have thousands of people saying, rah, rah, rah, you're the best and you feel good. And if you went home and 1,000 people said, you're the worst and you feel bad, it means you're still taking from the audience.

[Lewis Howes]

But in humanity, we still have to deliver value and get results, and otherwise we won't survive. So there has to be some level of receiving. Yeah.

[David Guillaume]

I mean, but not needing.

[Lewis Howes]

Okay, interesting.

[David Guillaume]

If I need you to be happy, I'm taking.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[David Guillaume]

If I'm receiving from you, it's actually very powerful. Because one of the greatest forms of giving is to receive without needing. For example.

[Lewis Howes]

What does that look like? Yeah. Yeah.

[David Guillaume]

What does that look like? How many times has someone come up to you and I wanted to do you a favor, but you didn't need the favor? And you actually. It's actually kind of wasted time.

[Lewis Howes]

I don't want the favor. If they're expecting something else in return, like, I'm going to give you this. I'm like, okay, what are you going to ask for?

[David Guillaume]

That's part of.

[Lewis Howes]

I don't need this.

[David Guillaume]

Right. That's part of it. So imagine you say, you know what? I will receive this gift. I receive whatever in order to give pleasure to you. To the giver.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[David Guillaume]

Okay. So if you.

[Lewis Howes]

Because you don't want to block gifts either, right?

[David Guillaume]

You don't want to block gifts because.

[Lewis Howes]

Someone'S going to give you something and you say, no, thank you for thinking of me and this generous gift, but I'm okay.

[David Guillaume]

It's so painful to the giver. So now you're actually hurting the person.

[Lewis Howes]

And you're blocking your abundance, probably.

[David Guillaume]

Correct. There's a lot of people, and I've learned this early on, someone's going to come to you and give you a compliment. If you say, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, that's not me. Or you block it, you're actually hurting the person. The greatest thing you can do when someone gives you a compliment is just say thank you very much, like I really appreciate it. And after the compliment is made, don't let that feed that part of you that has the abandonment issue.

[Lewis Howes]

The ego in you.

[David Guillaume]

The ego in you, or the lack in you or the pain in you. The thing that your mom didn't give you, your dad didn't give you. This is why Kabbalah kind of goes into those murky places of the soul to clean it up. Because then you can go around town, you can do everything without taking from the people, without using the people. You can just show up as a giver. But as long as you need the approval for whatever you haven't healed or corrected, there's always going to be an element of taking in your giving.

[Lewis Howes]

Interesting. What's been the biggest challenge you've faced in relationships personally? The thing that your soul came that it's had to grow through, or it's still learning how to grow through.

[David Guillaume]

Because from the age of 15 when I learned Kabbalah, so I'm 40 now. From the age of 15, I learned Kabbalah. At the age of 19, I left school, I graduated school and I went to full time volunteering teaching. So from 7am till 7pm I met people one on one and from 7pm to 10pm I would give one or two seminars. And I was in a position of how do I just add value to the world? And it was the most powerful thing I did. And I did that. I do that till today, except the last 10 years also. I have a business. So I was put in a mode of how do I just take care of every single person. You call me at 2am, I'm picking up the phone. Anywhere I went, there was an opportunity to take care of somebody.

[Lewis Howes]

Give, give, give, give.

[David Guillaume]

Just give anybody give in a way that you really help them, like care for them, whatever, however. And I know, you know, I'm. And I feel like one of the things I learned, especially when I got married and you know, my marriage, we separated two years ago. We are best friends today and we are like there's no one in the world I Love more than her. No one in the world. And we have an incredible relationship now.

[Lewis Howes]

And you have four kids.

[David Guillaume]

And we have four kids.

[Lewis Howes]

And you have a business.

[David Guillaume]

We co parent together, we own a business fully together. We are best friends, we talk about everything. There's no one I respect more in the world than her. One of the things I've learned in relationships and in dating is I totally shut down the part of me that needed to learn what I wanted and what makes me happy. I found happiness in vicariously living through everyone else's success. It's part of why I was broke from 20 to 32. I didn't have a penny. I couldn't afford a wedding ring. I had to buy a hundred dollar plastic piece of wedding ring for Mary Ruth because we had no money, we were in debt. But part of it was my own belief system that I don't deserve to receive anything. I'm here for the public, I'm here for humanity, I'm here for whatever. And I was trained to think in Kabbalah. Here's the thing. Kabbalah taught me how to stop focusing on my selfish and be a giver. But there's something else Kabbalah teaches which I totally ignored, which is I also need to receive.

[Lewis Howes]

Right.

[David Guillaume]

The word Kabbalah means to receive.

[Lewis Howes]

Really?

[David Guillaume]

It comes from the Hebrew word le kabel, which means to receive.

[Lewis Howes]

But all you were doing is kind of going against it by being the most altruistic service person you could be.

[David Guillaume]

Correct. Because there are two parts to the spiritual path. One is to become like the Creator, you need to become the giver. However, there's a second part. And the second part I ignored. For whatever reason, I ignored the okay, now when you're in that vibration of giving, you need to create a vessel, a desire. You need to know what you are, you need to know who you are. You need to know what you stand for. You need to know what makes you happy. You need to know what boundaries to put and what boundaries not to put in order to receive from the world. Because the Creator can't be revealed unless we receive. The Creator created the creation to reveal the Creator. But if we don't receive, we are literally shutting down creation. So this has been one of the hardest things for me to deprogram. And I have my Kabbalah colleagues I talk to regularly, I have coaches, I have mentors, I talk to you. I. I'm learning how to develop that part of me even as I date or as I kind of move on.

[Lewis Howes]

How has that shown up? For you, then in relationship, intimate relationships in your 20s and I guess being married as well, and now separated.

[David Guillaume]

Well, I'll tell you something. From the age of 20 till the day I got married, I didn't date. I didn't even look at one. I did nothing. I didn't even kiss a woman. Come on, I'm telling you.

[Lewis Howes]

Come on. You kiss someone. I didn't kiss for 10 years.

[David Guillaume]

Not until the night of my wedding.

[Lewis Howes]

No. Come on, dude. No way.

[David Guillaume]

That's it.

[Lewis Howes]

Ten years?

[David Guillaume]

Ten years. Why?

[Lewis Howes]

You didn't kiss one woman?

[David Guillaume]

Not one.

[Lewis Howes]

Not even like a peck on the lips?

[David Guillaume]

Nah. Come on, man. Really? Not even a peck? Why? Now? That's extreme. I don't. I don't say I don't think anybody.

[Lewis Howes]

You're a monk mode. You were like, I went into service. I'm a monk.

[David Guillaume]

Part of it. Because I have an extreme personality. Yeah. And I really wanted to be the best at whatever I do.

[Lewis Howes]

Not until your wedding night.

[David Guillaume]

Not until my wedding night.

[Lewis Howes]

Come on, dude. Did she.

[David Guillaume]

I never said this. I don't know. I never said this publicly. So let's see how this is going to go.

[Lewis Howes]

I mean, it's powerful.

[David Guillaume]

I don't know what kind of backlash I'm going to get after this, but what was my mindset? My mindset was I have a spiritual platform. I've seen many people in my position.

[Lewis Howes]

Fall, abuse it or abuse it.

[David Guillaume]

Obviously, I was surrounded by, you know.

[Lewis Howes]

You'Re surrounded by celebrities and beautiful women and all the time, people going through, like, heartbreak or going through tragedy that are coming to you and see you as a spiritual teacher.

[David Guillaume]

Correct. And then there's trans, because you're there for them. There's transference. There's all these things that happen. And I just said the simplest thing for me to do. And I told the creator, I said, creator, when I'm ready for my soulmate, she will appear. And I do not want to think about dating. I don't want to even turn on that part of me.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[David Guillaume]

And look, did it work for me? It did work for me because I met the most incredible woman in the world, and we're born on the same day, same year. I'm two hours older. February 11, 1984. Our moms were in labor at the same time. Two different parts of the world, and we attracted each other vibrationally because we were meant to come together and to create everything we've created. And I knew. I knew on day one when I met her. She's the one. End of story. I didn't care about anything else. And that was it. We got married.

[Lewis Howes]

How did you know on day one, you met her, that she was the one. But also she's not the one anymore. In an intimate sexual relationship in a romantic way.

[David Guillaume]

Yes. However, she. Here's the thing about soulmates. There are many versions of soulmates. There are many aspects to soulmates. There are many parts of our soul that must match up with other souls. I think everyone's focused on, like, the one or the this or the that. I like to shift my focus to I am the One. I have to focus on I am the one. Because the only reason I'm here is to transform myself and to create a vessel for the light of the Creator, which manifests as prosperity and love and all the beautiful things of this world. And we will meet people for whatever karmic reason and whatever past life reason and whatever this life reason to help us become the best version of ourselves for whatever reason. You know, and obviously I want to be careful because we're talking about other souls, and I want to be. Also respect their privacy. But for whatever reason it was, we felt, it was deemed that our souls, in order to elevate to its next level, had to elevate in this way. And this is why our relationship today is. I mean, it's almost like, strange for a lot of people, because the love that we have, like, if she needed a kidney, I would be first in line.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow.

[David Guillaume]

Right?

[Lewis Howes]

So you're still soulmates in a certain way, but you still form the intimate relationship.

[David Guillaume]

Absolutely. And by the way, when I date, I make that clear on day one. Not that.

[Lewis Howes]

What do you say?

[David Guillaume]

I say, look, the most important person in my life is the mother of my children.

[Lewis Howes]

Why?

[David Guillaume]

Because. And I've seen this. If you look at the mother of your children as your children, this is the highest vibration, I believe. Because all the reasons why we don't. And I don't want to put a like, this is how it is for everyone. I want to be very sensitive because everyone has very different situations. There's so many karmic. So many difficult, painful situations. And I'm really sensitive to that. And I've seen it and felt it. But the goal should be. The desire should be. If I had no ego and I had no fears and I had no personal issues, how would I treat the mother of my children and the father of my children? It goes both ways. So many separations and divorces. I see. Because maybe one person's hurt or one person got rejected, Then there's A power play. Then they want to hurt back. You know, there's a situation I know where, like, they're prolonging the divorce and making sure that they don't get the money because she stopped loving him and she loved somebody else. So he wants to teach her a lesson. Like, all of these things, it's all. And I get it, by the way, when you're in it, it's very painful because now what's happening, you feel betrayed.

[Lewis Howes]

Or you feel this or you feel whatever.

[David Guillaume]

Yeah. But your soul came to this world to correct and cleanse and heal betrayal. Your soul saw that at the age of 25, you were asked for this woman to come in, and at the age of 38, she had to be taken away from you just so you could finally experience betrayal and transform it. But in a past life, when this happened, what you did was you prolonged the divorce. You hurt her. You told the children that she's not a good person. You played games. So when your soul left this world in the upper world, they made the calculation. They said, hey, listen, you only came to this world to heal betrayal and to love this other person unconditionally, even after she hurt you. When your soul leaves your body, it sees everything. There's no ego. So the soul says, oh, my God, I can't believe I spent the last 80 years. I totally didn't get it. All I did is hurt her. All I did is run after other forms of instant gratification. I ran after another relationship just to numb the pain. And I didn't work on my soul's correction. That's considered hell. Hell is the soul seeing all the missed opportunity. What does the soul do? The soul says, please put me back.

[Lewis Howes]

Into this world so I can correct it.

[David Guillaume]

I can correct it. I want to be back with her again.

[Lewis Howes]

Oh, man.

[David Guillaume]

I want to be back with her again. I want this whole situation. I want it to be exactly the way it was. Oh, by the way, that guy that she cheated on with, make sure he's there exactly the way he is.

[Lewis Howes]

Oh, so I could correct it.

[David Guillaume]

So I could correct it.

[Lewis Howes]

Oh, my gosh.

[David Guillaume]

Oh, my God. Because the soul also sees that if he were to correct it, this world that's waiting for him, this new soulmate, this new wealth, this new everything, the wisdom. He saw all of it. He's like, oh, my God. Like, if any part of the challenge was diminished, so would the reward be diminished, and he would not want that. And the soul begs to come back in. And then the process starts over. And then there's an astrological date where the soul comes in. And then based on that time and that place and that unique. Exactly. Spiritual vortex, the soul is attracted to exactly the astrological influences that match its soul's correction. That's why that soul came at that moment. And then there's certain parents involved and the whole thing starts over.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow.

[David Guillaume]

This also. I don't know why I feel. I don't know why I feel called to say this, but I'm just going to say it because maybe somebody needs to hear it say it. And every time I've shared this for the last 20 years, there's always been at least one person that came up to me and said because they heard this, they it transformed their way of thinking about committing suicide. I don't know why I'm sharing it, but I'm sharing. Suicide is the complete shutdown of the desire to receive. It's basically saying I do not want to receive anything. Which we have now learned the whole purpose of creation is to receive. So when a person takes their life, it creates such a soul correction that the soul has to come back. So what's happening here is when a really great soul, an elevated soul, has a lot of karmic debt as a result of being a great soul, they will go through certain periods of darkness. It could be mental illness, many things, circumstances that will make them feel there's no escape, there's no way out, there's no hope.

[Lewis Howes]

I'm in so much pain, so much suffering, so much depression, so much agony. What's the point?

[David Guillaume]

Correct. And it gets to a place where they start to contemplate suicide. Those thoughts, those feelings, those desires. There's nothing to be ashamed of. We have to know that your soul is so powerful, it's meant to do so many great things, but you're not allowed to see it, because if you could see it, you wouldn't pass the test. It's actually when a person is contemplating death, it's actually because of that highness of their soul and what they're meant to do, which they are not allowed to be shown. However, what they need to know is at that moment, if they do take their life, let's say at the age of 36 and two months, two weeks, at 2:00pm, they have this intense desire to leave this world. It is because in a past life, at the exact same moments, they had this desire and they took it. Then the soul leaves and says, oh my God. If I had just waited an hour, a day, a week, if I had just pushed through Every problem was about to be solved. Everything. The soul sees it. And again, it begs to come back and it begs to go through the same painful, torturous, traumatic process up until the age of 36. And I always tell people, if you're thinking about this, you must know that you've been in this situation maybe hundreds or thousands of times before. This is the moment you can actually break the cycle. And you must know that if it's this dark, this bad, that is equivalent to the greatness that will come. One time I shared this in one of my classes. A woman came up to me and said, I need to tell you something. This is the end of a 10 week course. She said that about 15 weeks ago. You know, she was very overweight. She had a lot of problems. She was being bullied. I think she was her early twenties. So I decided that I didn't want to live in this world anymore. I went into my room and I was kind of talking out loud to the Creator, to the world. She was, I think she was Christian, she was spiritual. And she saw a book on her shelf and it was a book that her late father had given her because he saw that she was struggling. And it was actually a Kabbalah book. It's called Power of Kabbalah.

[Lewis Howes]

What's it called?

[David Guillaume]

Power of Kabbalah. So she's drawn to the book because, remember, her father gave it to her. She never read it. She took the book out, she started reading a few pages and she felt like there's some soul connection to it. And then she flipped to the back of the page and saw, like, where is there, you know, Kabbalah seminars? And then she saw that I was opening one a week later. She said, you know what? My father gave me this book. Maybe my father's speaking to me. I'm going to take, I'm going to go to this. But then she put in her calendar after the 10 weeks, she was going to end her life. She comes up to me at the end of the 10 weeks. She actually told me this. And she got up in the class and said it. She said, look, tonight is the night I was supposed to take my life.

[Lewis Howes]

Holy cow.

[David Guillaume]

But I've gone through this journey and now I see that I'm meant for great things, even though I'm was bullied, even though I'm overweight, even though I can't find a healthy relationship, even though I feel not loved. And she went through the whole thing beyond my logical mind. I am choosing to know that I am a vessel for great things, even though I cannot see it.

What makes someone a leader? It can be a tough question to find just one answer for. But one thing is for sure, true leaders lead by example. And a true leader takes risks too. They plunge into life with determination. For those who lead by example and who approach life with true passion, there's the Range Rover Sport, A new dimension of sporting luxury get ready to elevate your desires with the dramatic and uncompromising Range Rover Sport. Experience its world renowned off road capability with adaptive off road cruise control which monitors ground conditions and acclimates to the present terrain. Plus agility, control and composure are achieved with the dynamic air suspension, while adaptive dynamics reduce unwanted body movements to deliver smooth and composed handling for focused on road performance. It's time to rise to every occasion in the Ranger Rover Sport where sophisticated refinement meets visceral power. Build your Range Rover Sport@Land RoverUSA.com that's Land RoverUSA.com Research shows that a major challenge for employers is the pressure to hire quickly, especially giving how time consuming it is to find and review candidates. Well, if you're an employer who can relate, here's a question for you. Have you tried ZipRecruiter's powerful matching technology Works fast to find top talent so you don't waste your time or money. In fact, four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. For me, building the right team has been one of the most important steps in growing my business. It's not just about skills, it's about finding people who truly fit the culture as well. So I'm grateful that I have ZipRecruiter's help with growing my team. So relax employers and let ZipRecruiter speed up your hiring. See for yourself. Just go to ZipRecruiter.com greatness right now to try it for free. That's the same price as a genuine smile from a stranger, a picture perfect sunset, or a cute dog running up to you and licking your hand. Again, that's ZipRecruiter.com greatness ZipRecruiter the smartest.

Way to hire she ended up becoming such a miraculous woman, doing incredible things. So much so that at an event we had with 3,000 people, she got up there, she had lost the weight, she had a relationship. So many things happened and she got up and she told the story.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow.

[David Guillaume]

And she's living her best life and it's so powerful. So I don't know why we're Talking about it, but whoever needs to hear it needs to know. No matter what your situation is, to the extent of the darkness you're going through and to the extent of the confusion you have, and to the extent you cannot see the future, to the extent of the greatness that is waiting for you and you've been in the situation.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow. So the bigger the pain, the bigger the greatness on the other side, if you're willing to go through it, make conscious decisions to improve your vessel of spiritual growth 100%. I feel like I've only asked one question, and we've already been going so deep on this, and I want to.

[David Guillaume]

Bring it back to a grounded thing.

[Lewis Howes]

That you talked about towards the beginning, that we as human beings, and we're talking about relationships, but we as human beings, from your perspective, from your beliefs, from these principles and these laws, our entire mission should be thinking about how do I build my spiritual soul's vessel? How do I build a greater vessel within my soul so that I have the capacity to take on greater challenges and greater abundance? Would that be a correct statement for you?

[David Guillaume]

That would be correct.

[Lewis Howes]

So it's about. We should be focusing on our soul's vessel, not how do I meet the guy, how do I meet the girl? To give me love, to make me feel loved, to make me look good on social media, to have fun with. We shouldn't be thinking about that when trying to create a relationship or get into a relationship. And again, this whole topic is about really how to manifest a committed relationship and stop attracting toxic partners, stop attracting relationships that feel like, gosh, they're great for the first six months, and then there's just breakdown and problem and breakdown. But then I'm already chemically and emotionally entangled and sexually entangled. And then I'm the parents, and I already planned out the wedding and all these things. And how do I get out of this now? And then I repeat the cycle over and over again. And what I'm hearing you say is, through all this, is that most people are thinking that way, as opposed to how do I build my soul and my spiritual vessel to be its greatest? It can be. And then from that place, start dating beautiful. Start having conversations beautiful. Flirt with someone, hey, let's go get a coffee. Let's go for a hike, let's go walk. Let's do an activity together and just start having conversations from a place of what it sounds like a healing journey, a journey of wanting to expand, a journey of, how can I make this moment great? How can I Be of service in this moment? Not, how can I get something from someone? Or how can I gain pleasure or feel good about myself? How can I create that within? How can I know that I am the One for me? I don't need someone else to be the One. And when I become the vessel for myself that is needed to serve my highest purpose in this moment, in this day, then I will be able to see people that I feel like are more in alignment with that vision as well, that they are more in alignment with creating a spiritual vessel within themselves. And then we can start to have conversations. Do we align spiritually with our life's mission? Is there alignment as opposed to, when are we going to have sex? When can I get a kiss from this person? When are they going to buy me something?

[David Guillaume]

Is he the one?

[Lewis Howes]

Is he the One?

[David Guillaume]

I don't know.

[Lewis Howes]

What are my girlfriends thinking? Think. What do they think? Do they like him? We're asking the wrong questions.

[David Guillaume]

Complete distraction.

[Lewis Howes]

They're all distractions. Why are we so distracted when we're dating and looking at all the wrong things? Why is that happening for so many people?

[David Guillaume]

When the soul came to this world, it asked for an opponent. And we all have an opponent. It's an energetic force. It's actually a positive force disguised as a negative. One whose only job is to, at our level, challenge us, make us feel doubts, worries and fears. So, for example, so that's supposed to happen for everyone? That happens on everyone, on their spiritual level. As you grow spiritually, so does your opponent. Because of the bread of shame, in order to earn everything right. So people ask me, because I make mistakes. I make mistakes every day. People are like, wait, you've been studying Kabbalah for 25 years? Life's work. How are you? How have you. The first thing they said is, how did your marriage not work? I said, no one should ever say their marriage did not work. Nobody. Forget about me. Nobody should say that. Nobody should say that that last relationship didn't work. Because then you're basically saying the Creator made a mistake. Everything worked as it should have. The only thing we need to focus on is what we can do to transform our vessel. Some people may need to have five marriages. I don't know. Some people may need to only have one. Sometimes they say the soulmate or the, you know, a different level of soulmate comes in the second marriage. There's many different opinions and spiritual writings. But what we know for sure is you are here. It is only you in the light of the Creator. Everything else is There. Designed for your greatness. So every time you say something, it was a waste of time. Every time you say something was a mistake. Every time you say, he is toxic, she is toxic, he is a bad person, all you're doing is shrinking your vessel and delaying your wedding date. Let's say you just got out of a relationship that you found to be painful. Every day that you tell people that was toxic, that I wish I never got into it.

[Lewis Howes]

She was horrible. She was horrible. And they wasted my life and they stole time from me and my best years are beyond me. And all these things, all of these.

[David Guillaume]

Things, he or she robbed me of my best. Every word that you say on that vibration delays the meeting of your soulmate by another hour. Imagine that. So instead, choose today to bless this person, to love this person, to reach out. I mean, look, there's work involved here, right? I'm saying the headline, but there's work involved.

[Lewis Howes]

And if someone is like, sexually abused you or harmed you or been emotionally abusive or controlled, like done some horrible things, what do you say to maybe a man or a woman who's like, now this person was just horrible. Like, it wasn't just, oh, they were emotionally abusive here and there. And it was like a waste of like four years of my life. But they beat me, they sexually abused me, they frickin, you know, cheated on me with my best friend behind my back for years and lied about it. Like, what if they did some really bad things? How do you bless and want the best for someone who has really hurt you?

[David Guillaume]

This is a very horrible thing. This is a very painful thing. I hope that no one has to go through this. I hope that my children, children went through this. It's like, horrible thing. We must acknowledge that that is a painful thing. That is a horrible thing. And by the way, if someone came to me and said that, I wouldn't be like, well, everything's from the Creator and you need to see it as good. Absolutely. Like, we need to be there for people and feel their pain and empathize with them and go down into the mud and the disgusting painful situation with them and we cannot judge them for it. That's number one. Now, if you're asking me how do I get to the ultimate results where I will be happy and I will have my greatest life and I will have miracles and I will have success and I will find my soulmate quickly, I would say if you could at least start with the desire and the prayer to the universe and say, look, I'm not there. I Am angry. I'm frustrated. I am in pain. I feel like garbage. I feel so betrayed and hurt. I am at the bottom, but I desire to not be there. I desire to be on the vibration of love. I don't know how I'm going to get there, but you start there. It says that the universe remobilizes all the forces in this world to support you to get there. You will always be led by your desire. If you desire, for example, to rob a bank, the creator will show you how to do it. You will be sent thieves. You will be sent other people who are on that vibration who want to steal from the bank. And you will manifest it. And we. A thief, a very good thief, could also be a very good businessman and a very good husband because he knows how to manifest his desire. His desire is to steal. Now imagine you take that desire and you shift it to something positive. When I was 14 years old.

[Lewis Howes]

I.

[David Guillaume]

Started playing poker like, eight, nine hours a day. I was trading in the stock market. I was addicted to gambling at 14. At 14, 15.

[Lewis Howes]

How do you have money to do these things?

[David Guillaume]

At 15, I made my first million dollars because I was obsessed. I had all this energy. I didn't know what to do with it.

[Lewis Howes]

How did you make a million dollars at 15?

[David Guillaume]

It was. I asked my father for a little bit. My parents really believed in me. They saw. I said, look, you give me a little bit of money, I will bring it back 24. So he's like, all right, fine, Trade in this account. And I had fun with it.

[Lewis Howes]

So it's through the stock market.

[David Guillaume]

It was through the stock market. And I went to casino. I mean, it was a very interesting time. So I brought all of this kind of energy, which is really interesting because I did a kabbalistic chart reading when I was, like, 16 years old. When I first came to study Kabbalah, I said nothing. I sat there. She said, based on the time, the place, everything. And, you know, there's also intuition involved because people feel your soul. People feel things. They see things. She said, she looked at it. She said, past life gambler. I said, what? She said, based on your chart, you have an addictive personality. Past life gambler. And it's one of the things you need to correct in this life.

[Lewis Howes]

And you were already starting it as a teenager.

[David Guillaume]

She had no clue. I'm 16 years old. She's. I think she's thinking, hey, be careful when you get older. She said to me, she said, for you to fulfill your correction, I would avoid casinos. What's Interesting. Yeah. So after I heard that, I realized, oh, my God, this desire I have, which I've been channeling through gambling and addictive behavior. If I could channel all of this desire and energy into helping people, it's the same methodology. It's just desire. And then the Creator will help you with that. So then I'm like, well, what's the greatest thing I can put my energy into to be successful? I always wanted to be a billionaire when I was young. That's why my parents were like, you're doing what? I graduated ucla, top of my class. I had a perfect score in my SATs. I had everything going for me. I was supposed to go to Ivy League school. I was supposed to be their golden child. My brother's a physician. Everybody loves him. I'm from a Persian family in Los Angeles. And I told my parents I want to join a nonprofit and teach Kabbalah. They said, you want to do what? They said, how much money are you going to make? I said, no, no, you don't make money.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah, you pay.

[David Guillaume]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. They're like, wait, what? How are you going to live? I said, no, they pay for my housing and my food, and I get to focus on the people. They're like, well, how are you going to raise your family? I don't know. How are you going to. What woman's ever going to want to be with you? I said, I don't know. I said, all I know is I believe that if I can channel my energy to help other people find their soulmate and other people find their wealth and other people according to the spiritual laws, I will get everything. I don't know how it's going to happen. They lost their mind, but, you know, they totally lost their mind for a couple years. But my mom always told me, she said, look, I always knew that you'd figure things out. So we did it. Totally freak out. My parents trusted the process. My brother trusted the process. And, you know, and you were putting.

[Lewis Howes]

Your energy towards good. You were being in service. So what parents are going to say, stop helping people. You know, stop. Like you were focusing your energy on something positive as opposed to, I'm going to go just travel the world and.

[David Guillaume]

Take drugs all day or something, you.

[Lewis Howes]

Know, you weren't like, correct, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm just going to figure it out. For five or ten years. You were like, I'm on a mission. I'm here to serve. I'm here to learn. I'm Here to help humanity.

[David Guillaume]

Correct. And they thought it was very noble, but they're like, can you just do it a couple hours a week?

[Lewis Howes]

Right, right, right. Yeah. Can you make money doing it?

[David Guillaume]

Can you make money? I mean, like, you had made money and you have the potential and, like, you know, they're thinking like parents, like, how are you going to live? Like, how are you going to. Who's going to take care of you? I remember when I got married, I had a couple thousand dollars in my bank account from birthday money I had saved up.

[Lewis Howes]

And you never kissed anyone.

[David Guillaume]

I didn't have any experience and I didn't have. I didn't have a credit card and have credit. I remember we had to, like, sign the lease, and I'm like, I don't have any credit. What's credit? I didn't even know what was going on. And I mean, we'll talk about this probably in the business podcast, because that began my business. That began the most miraculous journey of miracle after miracle to create, you know, what's today Meriworth Organics. That was the moment. So the first 10 years of my life, it was about how to just create that spiritual vessel. And I believe. I don't know how many people in the millions of people I got to connect with and touch and whatever. And also not having received for myself, I think helped tremendously. It helps you become pure because you're not thinking about, well, what am I going to take from this person? Or how much are you going to pay me? Or. It was really a beautiful thing. I do believe, without a shadow of a doubt, those 10 years created the vessel for the. For abundance, for the vessel of abundance that came through Mary Ritz, which we'll talk about in the next book.

[Lewis Howes]

That's powerful. Now, here's a. Here's a question I think everyone is asking, which is how do we get on the vibration of love to be able to receive the love we want?

[David Guillaume]

How do we get in the vibration of love to be able to get the love all we want to receive? First thing that comes to mind is you can only receive what you believe you deserve to receive. And that's the first question I would ask all of us, because you could read all of the books, books about love and dating and relationships. You could be on all the apps. You could have the best photos, you could have the best profile. You could have a matchmaker out there scouring the earth to find your soulmate. You could have a beautiful physique and have amazing personality. However, your belief system about receiving is your capacity to receive. This goes for financial well being, but especially love. And I ask this question to myself and I tell everyone to ask it to themselves. What do you believe you deserve to receive? And it's very interesting because if you really look deep down inside, it's not just like one answer. It's a pie chart. If I take this pie chart, there's probably 50% that believes I deserve to be in a healthy relationship. There's probably 20% that you're not aware of that believe you should be in an abusive one.

[Lewis Howes]

Why do people think they deserve to be in an abusive relationship?

[David Guillaume]

If you're looking for a better and healthier way to welcome the day, try Rise Mushroom Coffee. Rise Mushroom Coffee helps you stay energized and focused while supporting your overall well being so you can more fully embrace the day. It's a custom, powerful blend of six functional mushrooms that helps with all day energy, sharper focus, healthy digestion and immune support. And with over 1 150,000 5 star reviews, you likely won't be disappointed. I know I wasn't disappointed myself. Even when I drink a cup of Rise at the very beginning of the day, I love that I can feel my energy sustained throughout the whole day. Highly recommend you give it a try. Check out Rise Mushroom coffee and get 15% off your first order at Rise. Superfoods.com School of Greatness that's R Y Z E Superfoods.com/School of Greatness don't just wake up. Awaken with Rise. Let's talk about something that could be holding your business back. Boring documents with lines and lines of text. We've all been there, but let's face it, our brains are wired to react to visuals, not endless text. That's where Canva docs comes in. With Canva, you can transform those plain docs into something that grabs attention instantly. Add photos, charts, graphics, videos, banners, whatever you need to make your message stand out. It's not just about looking good, it's about making more of an impact so your information information really sticks. Say goodbye to dull documents and hello to designs. You'll love creating and your audience and team will love reading. Love your work with canva [e-mail] maybe they saw that.

Maybe they did something shameful in their life that they're not aware of consciously. And they what do we do with shame? We feel we hide and we diminish ourselves. So we subconsciously want someone to diminish us in order to not feel guilty about the shame. So the way we say is 20%, that kind of desire, 50% could just be a really healthy desire for love. And then there is maybe 20% that I want my freedom. And I have a belief system that relationships equal a loss of freedom or.

[Lewis Howes]

I'm trapped, or if I'm committed, then I'm going to miss out on something else or whatever it might be.

[David Guillaume]

Correct. Maybe there's another 10% that believes that relationships are a really beautiful thing to help you grow spiritually, which is a very positive desire. You look at this pie chart, you will see that this pie chart represents your entire dating life. You will see that maybe the 50%, because it's the bigger part of the pie, you go in these relationships that last three to six months and they're very healthy. But then the 20% of I don't deserve kicks in or the 20% of I need my freedom kicks in. And when that desire kicks in, you start to self sabotage and you're not aware of it. So you start to become avoidant. You start to do things that are not in line with what you were before. And here's the thing, it's not about judging anyone. I tell people I'm very curious always. If someone was loving you for three to six months and then all of a sudden they're not present and they're avoidant, they're not a narcissist. They're not, oh, he love bombed me and he manipulated me. No, that's not what I get. That's what we say to try to understand our pain. But if you really look at it on a soul level, everything is happening commensurate with the desires of the person that they came to heal, that you both chose to find each other for in order to do it.

[Lewis Howes]

Whether it's for our nights or weeks or months or years.

[David Guillaume]

Correct. And they are not allowed to enter your orbit unless your soul gave permission. You cannot get into the king's chamber. There are so many guards around the king and walls. If someone got into your life, into the king's chamber, if they're sitting at dinner with you, you're having a conversation, you start dating. Do you know how much permission must have been given spiritually for decades, for.

[Lewis Howes]

Centuries, just for that moment, for the person to show up at the same moment as you.

[David Guillaume]

Why? 100%.

[Lewis Howes]

All the things that had to go.

[David Guillaume]

Wrong or go right in order for.

[Lewis Howes]

You guys to meet in that moment.

[David Guillaume]

100%. Isn't it crazy to think it's unbelievable? It's profound. It makes me Feel like, wow, this world is so big and so vast and so amazing how small we are. But we get into our. I know what's going on. And then here's the thing. The social media algorithm knows feeds you what we're going through. So they just validate on a page.

[Lewis Howes]

Over and over again.

[David Guillaume]

Yeah, it's not like if I am trying to find out about like abusive relationships. I just keep getting videos that acknowledge the abuse and makes it harder for me to actually do my soul correction. My vessel shrinks more and more, my vibration drops, and I will have to go through a very painful situation to restart that whole process.

[Lewis Howes]

Now I want to ask you a very important question. What is the difference between what men want and what women want in a healthy, long term relationship? And before you answer it, for anyone watching and listening right now, leave a comment below of the biggest takeaway so far that this episode has supported you with. So if you're watching on YouTube, leave a comment below. Like this video share with a friend. If you're listening on Apple, Spotify, wherever it might be, share this with someone and ask them their biggest takeaway on this episode. And the question is, what on a soul level do men and women really want and are there differences? And before you answer, I want to let people know that they have to follow and subscribe in order to get the answer because we're going to go into part two on relationships with this question. So again, what men and women really want on a soul level, we're going to do a full second episode on this topic right now. That will come out soon, so make sure to follow this subscribe. I think there's a lot here to get people started with. I want to recap a few things.

[David Guillaume]

And before you continue, people should know you and I, we read Lewis messages me like all day long. Look at this comment, look at this question. What do you think of this? We are reading everything.

[Lewis Howes]

We're reading it all and we're sharing.

[David Guillaume]

It with each other. And so this isn't like bots or our team. Like Louis and I have a text chain.

[Lewis Howes]

Look at this, look at this, look at this, look at this.

[David Guillaume]

You see this?

[Lewis Howes]

People are coming up to us left and right and saying, oh, the first episode, we'll have the first episode also linked up. So you can go through that. And I think that'll be important. If this is the first time you're hearing about this or someone sent you this, go watch the first episode. We did, but there's a few things here. And again, we're going to go into a part two in a second. But there's a few things here I want to recap. The whole thing should be figuring out how do I build my vessel on a spiritual and soul level and expand it for healthy, abundant, harmonious, aligned love. I think a lot of people who are single or struggling in relationships are trying to figure out, how do we make this work? How do I find the right partner? How do I find my soulmate? Which is what we're going to go into. What do men and women really want? How do I think like them? How do I, you know, I'm done with men, I'm done with women, all these things. Right. And we're talking about in this episode is how do I build my spiritual soul's vessel? And.

[David Guillaume]

And I will have a really powerful example for you when we do the next show. It just came to me. I'm going to share that example of how I've seen a man change overnight because a woman took some spiritual advice and shifted her consciousness. She literally woke up the next day. I didn't recognize my husband. I was sharing this.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow. So how you can shift your partner in a powerful way.

[David Guillaume]

Don't try to change your partner, but how do you shift to a destiny where your partner. You're like, wait, that's not the same human I even married.

[Lewis Howes]

Interesting. But one of the things that you said here that I think really resonated with me, that I think a lot of people, if they could learn how to do this, which I want to actually go into in the second episode, is, is how do we build the belief that we are deserving of the love we want? Which I don't think. We didn't talk about how to.

[David Guillaume]

We haven't talked about the house of.

[Lewis Howes]

How to believe differently that we are deserving. So I want to talk about that as well in the second part and understanding how you need to be the one, not finding the one as well. And how do we build that up? We're going to be talking about that in episode two on relationships. So again, make sure to like this. Leave a comment below. What are some of the questions that you have? What's your biggest takeaway? Share this with one friend and we're going to learn more on the second episode. So, David, thank you so much for being here. And we'll have everything linked up as well with the previous episode and what you're working on. But I'm very excited for what people are going to learn in the second episode.

[David Guillaume]

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness.

[Lewis Howes]

Make sure to check out the show.

[David Guillaume]

Notes in the Description Description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links and if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness+channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter and now it's time to go out there and do something great.

[Lewis Howes]

TaxAct knows filing taxes can be confusing, so we have live experts on hand who can help answer any questions you may have. Questions like Can I claim my SUV is my home office? If I answer work emails in my car? If I adopted 12 dogs this year, can I list them as dependents and am I doing this right or am I doing this very, very wrong? Our experts have the answers to those questions and many others. Tax act let's get them over with.

[David Guillaume]

Welcome to Nadia Yada island, next on Metro's Nadia Yada island podcast.

I almost fainted when the four new bombshells arrived.

Four free Samsung Galaxy A16 5G phones at Metro. No way.

And finding out the fourth line is free.

[Lewis Howes]

Things got heated.

[David Guillaume]

That's wild. Join Metro and get four free Samsung 5G phones only at Metro plus tax.

Bring four numbers and an ID and sign up for any Metro Flex plan.

Not available currently AT T Mobile or.

Been with Metro in the past 180 days.