← The School of Greatness
The School of Greatness
The Mindset That Turned Losing Both Legs Into a Paralympic Medal | Amy Purdy
01:06:46
At 19, Amy Purdy lost both legs, a kidney, her spleen, and the hearing in her left ear overnight, and she made a choice in that operating room that changed everything. This conversation will show you how to stop seeing your hardest moments as detours and start using them as the path to a life you never could have planned.
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A
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C
It's amazing what you can do when you choose to not be a victim. When you choose to focus on the possibilities instead of the problem. I lost my legs, my kidneys, my spleen, the hearing in my left ear. Overnight my world was completely different. But what helped me not be a victim is I made the choice to not be a victim. You take one little step at a time and you see where it leads.
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B
Three time Paralympic medalist, a world class
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A
snowboarder and one of the leading voices
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B
on resilience and human potential. The inspirational Amy Purdy in the house.
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C
Our challenges can teach us so much. And that's what going through, what I went through. It was a seven year journey of getting back on my feet to walk again. You allow yourself to be in the moment and lean into what you're going through instead of trying to resist it. You can learn so much and those moments become some of Your most, I think, grounded, special moments.
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B
The quote you say is the quality of your life comes down to the stories you choose to believe. What is the current story you're choosing to believe right now at this new season of possibilities, but also potentially uncertainty of what's to come?
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C
Oh, gosh. I mean, I think.
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B
And based on what you've talked about in your new book, Bounce Forward, it's almost like the thing that almost broke you was the launching pad to create more than you could ever imagine in your life. And I'm curious, I mean, you were on Dancing with the Stars, Paralympic medalists. You've done so many different things. There's billboards of you around the world. Like, you've done so many inspiring things. But what was the thing that allowed you to get out of the first kind of the victim mindset that a lot of people go through when challenges occur or when. When life sets them back? How did you learn how to get over that first? Because this is a huge change.
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C
Yeah, it was a huge change. I mean, I lost my legs, my kidneys, my spleen, the hearing in my left ear overnight. And my world was completely different. But what helped me not be a victim is I made the choice to not be a victim from the very beginning. So I remember being wheeled into the operating room where I was going to lose both of my legs, and I had no idea what to expect. You know, I had no idea what my life on the other side of this was going to look like. And I was so scared. But I gave myself three goals, and I think I did this because I needed something. I needed something to hang onto, to kind of pull me into the future. And so I gave myself three goals. The first goal was that I wasn't going to feel sorry for myself because I wasn't a victim and I wasn't going to act like a victim. And everybody felt sorry for me, and it didn't feel good. And the second goal was that I was going to snowboard again that year because I had never missed a year of snowboarding before. And the third goal was that when I figured this whole mess out, I wanted to help other people do the same. And I think those three goals, really, they gave me kind of a North Star. They gave me something to work towards. And, you know, I had no idea the path to snowboard again or the path to helping others. I just knew that that's what I wanted to do. And then I just took it one, like, little baby step at a time. And it led places that I never could have imagined.
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B
I love that you had a game plan when they're rolling you in to do this operation on your legs and your spleen and your kidney and all these different things. But also you could go into it thinking, I may not wake up. Right? Like, sure, you're positive, and like, oh, I'm going to plan for the best. But how did you. I mean, it's.
- [05:33]
C
I wouldn't say it was positive. I mean, I really. I had no idea, you know, before going into surgery, I mean, the doctors came in and said, if we don't amputate here, which they. They put their hand on my shin and they said, if we don't amputate here tomorrow, we'll have to amputate up here next week. So I had no choice. My choice was to either survive or to not survive. And if I wanted to survive, I had to lose my legs. And I. You know, I think I just. I needed some kind of control in that moment. The way to control the moment was to give myself these three goals. And those goals became, I mean, a huge part of my life. Like, that is. I did those things over the next 20 years. Those were. All I really focused on, were those three things. And so it's amazing what you can do when you choose to not be a victim, when you choose to focus on the possibilities instead of the problem, and you take one little step at a time and you see where it leads. I had no idea at that time that I'd be in the Paralympic Games. I just wanted to snowboard again. I had no idea that I'd be standing on podiums or dancing with the stars or any of that stuff. I just wanted to follow my dreams and do the stuff that I loved and help other people do the same. And it's amazing where that led.
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B
What would you say to someone who's going through just a challenge in life where they don't see a greater future, where they're unable to latch onto some type of positive vision for their life because things are so challenging right now, it seems like it's. Maybe they just feel like there's no hope, like there's no good future that I can think of or hold on to because of all the bad things that are happening to me right now? What would you say to someone in that position?
- [07:30]
C
Honestly, I think it really is leaning into the possibility instead of the problem. Like, what we focus on grows. So if we're focused on problems, the problems that we see are going to grow. And if we're focused on, well, what can I learn from the problem I'm going through? It can teach us so much. So, I mean, if you're going through anxiety, for example, and you're so anxious for the future, which I've felt that. We've all felt that. But I've felt that so many times in my life. And for a long time, anxiety took off in my life. Like, it made me feel like I was out of control and I didn't know what my future was going to look like. And I was worried about the future. And then I started to learn presence, like, just to be in the moment, like, just to be in the here and now. Because in the here and now, everything's fine. And you realize when you're present that everything's okay right now, and that helps you to get ahead. So just even learning that is a blessing. It's a gift in the adversity. And so I think it's focusing on the little things that are getting you through your challenges so that those things can grow. And those things may be, you know, it may be just being grateful that your family's by your side or grateful that you have, I don't know, a dog that you love or your warm coffee or that you have another day or that, you know, you look out your windows and it's beautiful. Like, just trying to find the beauty and the possibility in the day and let that grow instead of the problem. I think that can help us get through lot of our challenges.
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B
Yeah. When a lot of people are going through a setback, you know, whether it be their health or maybe their relationship or the career or something, a lot of times you hear people say, I just want to go back to where it was before, when it was good, when there wasn't problems, or when I didn't have this health challenge or I didn't have this financial burden. I want to go back. You talk about bouncing forward and not going back. You were unable to go back to the person you were before. You had to lose your legs. Right. You were unable to go back. It was not possible. So you couldn't go back to this old identity. You had to bounce forward into a new identity. But that's really hard for people. How do we think of bouncing forward instead of going back?
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C
You know, I mean, a lot of it is acceptance, right? Like, radical acceptance. I think when I lost my legs, I had no choice. It was so cut and dry. It was like, you are not going back whether you want to or not. And I think the difference and actually why I wrote this book, when I lost my legs, I was fighting for my life. When I went through this injury that I went through about seven years ago, which a lot of this book is based on, I was fighting for the quality of my life. And that changed everything. Fighting for your life. You know, you don't have emotions around what you're going through, but fighting for the quality of your life, your emotions are heightened. You're losing everything. You're worried about the future. You have no idea what you're doing. You have no idea what your life is going to be like. And that's actually when I learned the most about myself, was going through this process.
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B
This second time not losing your legs, but having to bounce back from injury the second time.
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C
Because I think, you know, the first time people would always say, how'd you do it? How'd you get through your greatest challenges? How'd you get through losing your legs? And to be honest, for a long time, I don't think I knew. I would say, I'm not sure. I just kind of. I just kind of did it. I think I had youth on my side. And, you know, you're super resilient when you're young, and so you had no other choice, too.
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B
You're just like, this is what is. And I gotta figure it out.
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C
I just kinda did it. But this time, I really paid attention to what was helping me along the way, and I started writing those things down. I really paid attention to, like, days that I was grieving, but then I felt better. What helped me, what helped me get over that or get through that, I'd write that down. And days when I was anxious, what helped me get through that, I'd write that down. And that's really what became the framework of this book, is all these things that have helped me along the way. And what I learned, too, is these tools or practices, they don't just help you survive, they help you thrive. They're the same exact thing. So, for example, visualization. I talk about that in the book. I used visualization in my darkest days, laying in the hospital bed when I lost both my legs, having no idea what my life was going to be like, visualizing what I wanted for my future. But I also used it standing in the Stargates at the Paralympic Games, visualizing the course, how I wanted to race, or visualizing before I walk out on stage, how I want to perform. So I started to realize that these tools not just help you survive, but also can help you thrive. And they're the same thing. And and so that's why I wanted to write it in the book and just be able to share that these are the things I know for sure. And I actually. I wrote the book, too, because I thought, you know, I might just be motivated by death, because I've been close to death a couple times in my life. But I thought to myself, if I were to die tomorrow, what did I learn? And I actually was on an airplane one day when I thought that question, and I grabbed a little napkin and I wrote down 21 things. I thought, these are the things I've learned. Like, this is what I would leave behind. And that ended up being the chapters of all of the books. So, yeah. So, you know, it's. And that would have never happened if I didn't go through all the challenges that I have gone through. I wouldn't have learned these little things, and now I get to share them. And so I really. That's why I do believe that our problems are connected to our purpose. If you lean into them and if you share what helps you get through those challenges, that's when you get your most fulfilled, you know, knowing that what you've learned can help somebody else.
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B
That's beautiful, because you went through a lot of, like, surgeries, and you were in the hospital for, like, a couple years almost, right?
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C
Yeah, so exactly. I haven't really even shared that part of the story yet.
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B
How many surgeries have you experienced in your life?
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C
Oh, my gosh. How many surgeries have I had in my life? I mean, I wouldn't even be able to count, probably. But the thing is, they were very. You know, I've been through a lot, but I've also had such a beautiful, incredible life. Yes, but I think it's been so beautiful and incredible because I've been through a lot. Because it forces you to figure out what's important in your life. It forces you to figure out what you appreciate, to really pay attention to what you have. I think our challenges really ground us in our purpose and in who we are and in our spirit and in our relationships. So even though I've been through a lot, I've also had the most incredible life that I wouldn't have had had. I have not gone through what I went through, really.
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B
What if you didn't have all these challenges, physically, emotionally, that most people never experienced, do you think you could have had a great life still?
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C
I don't think I would have had a life with as much meaning, really. Oh, for sure.
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B
Without the pain, the suffering, surgeries, you don't think it would have been as meaningful.
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C
Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, I think I would have been a massage therapist. I would have loved helping people because that's what I was doing before. I have no idea where I would have gone after that. But I think that our challenges bring us into the depths of life. They help us experience life to its fullest. We think that our challenges stop us from experiencing life to the fullest, but really, it's what opens the door so that we can experience life to the fullest.
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B
I think a lot of people need to hear this because most people are running away from their challenges. They're running away from their pain and their problems.
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C
Right.
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B
I'm not saying you should live a life of problem and pain all day long, but what I'm hearing you say is that your challenges and the pain and the biggest struggles you've been through have given you the most meaning and fulfillment as well. How can someone think that way who is in the middle of so much pain and sadness right now in their own personal life? How do they start to believe maybe this is happening for me? I just don't know what it's for yet.
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C
Right. Gosh. I think it's just. I really think we have to lean into our challenges. It's leaning into the challenge. I know that that's hard, and it's hard in the moment because we're trying to run away from our challenges. But actually, where we learn, where we grow, where we learn who we are, is by leaning into the challenge, what can we extract from it that can help us move forward? Even if it's the smallest little thing in that moment, because like I said, that would grow, whatever it is that you can lean into in that moment, to just find the light, to find the sliver of hope, whatever it may be, just to focus on that, that then grows. And because it is hard when you're in the thick of challenge, it's hard to see the other side of it. If you're dealing with anxiety, for example, you cannot be inspired. It's impossible. You cannot see a vision for yourself in the future. You are in the here and now. You are stuck. But if you can find these little, like, just moments that pull you through whatever that may be and lean on that, that's what helps to get you through.
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B
Yeah.
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C
And, you know, when I wrote this book, So I wrote 21 chapters, 21 different kind of topics, and the topics were all struggles that I had, and the tools are what helped me get through those struggles. And I just Started to realize there are things that are helping me get through. Like, yes, if I'm overwhelmed, but it's like, okay, now I'm not overwhelmed. So what's helping me get through that? Oh, it's because I started to compartmentalize. I started to segment my life a little bit. Like, I'm going to focus on this one thing and just that, and then get through that, and then I'll focus on the next thing and then get through that. When I was 19 years old, I lost my kidneys, my spleen, my hearing, and my left ear all at once. I was going to a doctor's appointment one day to work on legs. The next day, I'd have to go to a kidney appointment to figure out if I was going to have to have a kidney transplant. The next day, I'd have to go to a hearing appointment to figure out if I needed a hearing aid. And this was all at 19 years old, and it was so overwhelming, and it could completely crush you. But what I started doing is focusing on one thing at a time. So I would say, okay, you know what? This week is just leg week. That's it. I'm not thinking about my other problems. I'm not thinking, yeah, I'm not thinking about my kidneys. I'm not thinking about if I need a hearing aid. I'm just thinking about my legs, and that's it. And then the next week would be okay. Now we're focused on my kidney. Like, do I need a kidney transplant? Let's get blood work. Everything that we have to get. And just by kind of segmenting things out, it got rid of that overwhelm, and I've used that throughout the rest of my life. I mean, it's something that you can use whether you're going through challenges. Like, compartmentalize can help you go through challenges, but also help you rise above and achieve the things that you want to achieve as well. If you're busy and you're overwhelmed because you have good things going on, you just start to kind of compartmentalize things a little bit. I think through my challenges, I just started to realize there were things that I was leaning on that were helping me to get through instead of just feeling completely out of control. When we really pay attention to what is it that just brightened my day, what is it that just changed my mood and lean into that and really focus on that, then that, you know, that can change your entire day.
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A
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- [22:54]
B
That's so true that you you talk about that because I was going through some just personal internal stuff last night and it was hard for me to sleep and I woke up still feeling kind of stressed out this morning and I just had twin girls that are five months old. So I was just like, you know what? I need to get out of myself and focus on my girls. I Went in, I held one of them, I took them for a walk. It just allowed me to focus on the present rather than the stuff I'm stressed about. And it gave me kind of more of that purpose and that grounded energy, putting that towards that as opposed to the problems or the stress and the anxiety. And I think if we can all find that type of tool for ourselves to get grounded in the present, that's hopefully going to help you get over that stress.
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C
Exactly, exactly. I mean, we can easily focus on our problems, and you would think that your whole world is over and you think it's the end of the world, or you focus on the things that are going right, and you realize that you have so much. And I mean, I have been through a lot, of course, but I've also had such an incredible life of figuring out the possibilities, living the possibilities. But I wouldn't have figured that stuff out if I didn't have the problems that I had.
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B
Gosh. So the problems kind of gave you purpose, it sounds like. That's crazy.
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C
Yeah, I think.
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B
Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead.
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C
No, I was going to say, I really do believe that our problems bring us closer to ourselves. They bring us closer to our relationships. They bring us closer to God, and they can bring you closer to your purpose if you lean into them, if
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B
you learn from them, if you try to run from your problems, what usually happens?
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C
Oh, gosh, then you just. I mean, you would just collapse and you would feel completely out of control. You would feel. You would feel broken. You'd feel like your problems have completely broken you down and crushed you, because you have to let them out, you know, and problems are. We all face them. I know that mine might be more visible because I've got prosthetic legs. And, you know, on the COVID of my book, I've got a prosthetic leg there, too. But we all have challenges, right? Like big and small. And so. And really, that's what this book is for as well. It's not just for the big problems. It's for our daily challenges that. That we face. I mean, even little stuff like this, like you might be driving through traffic and somebody cuts you off and you spill your coffee on yourself, and now your day is totally ruined. You know, there's a moment where you can make a choice there on how you're going to handle that problem, and it really is in the pause. I call it the power of the pause. Because if you can pause, you can decide what direction you want to go and you can say, wait a second. Okay, this person's a jerk and it's going to ruin my whole day. Or you can say, maybe this person just got a phone call that their kid is in the hospital and they just pulled out in front of you. That completely just shifts your perspective in that moment. And so I think that there's just these tools. We think that people who are positive and happy and strong and live a good life are just that way. But I think we lean on tools and practices and different mindset shifts in order to be that way.
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B
Absolutely. Now, I'm curious about identity and how you've learned to think about your own identity with all the changes you've had to experience. Because a lot of people, they have their own identity, but if they go through a divorce or a breakdown or bankruptcy or some type of health challenge, it rocks their identity.
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C
Yeah.
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B
How did you learn to step into a new identity that you didn't even know you had because the old one was taken from you?
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C
Right. I've had to step into quite a few different identities. I mean, when I lost my legs at 19, right. That was stepping into a whole. Suddenly I was somebody who had a disability, which I never could have really imagined that that would be my life. So I had to wrap my head around what that meant and how people viewed me as well. But really, I think for me, it was just taking ownership of it. It's like I lost both of my legs, but this is who I am. I never covered it up. People would look at me a little bit differently at first, and I had to get comfortable with that. But I felt way more comfortable being me than not being me. And so the more that I showed up, then I started wearing dresses and heels, and you'd see my bionic legs, and then people would talk to me about my legs. And then, you know, it helped me embrace my legs and my situation as well. Kind of the more that I got brave with it and just became more comfortable with myself, that's kind of when things started to. My whole life started to flow kind of from that point forward. But I started to meet people, I started to get more comfortable with other people as well. And so it just became my new identity. And but by making that choice again, that I wasn't going to hide it, you know, I wasn't going to hide who I was now. I was going to embrace it even if I wasn't comfortable with it. And I had to do the same a couple years ago when I severely injured my left leg. That was seven years ago. I ended up Losing the entire arterial system of my left leg. So. So I got a blood clot from my hip down every artery of my left leg. And that was from doing all the sports that I was doing on prosthetic legs. So having carbon fiber legs that are kind of pushing in, and you're snowboarding seven hours a day, walking through airports, standing on stage speaking, whatever it may be, going to the gym afterwards, all of that ended up damaging the arteries of my left leg. It damaged my popliteal artery and then shut down my entire femoral artery. And I went through major surgeries, 10 surgeries in the course of two and a half years, I think. And it was all during COVID So I'd be in the hospital by myself
- [29:14]
B
for days at a time.
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C
And I had to step into a completely new identity after that happened, because I went from losing my legs when I was 19 to living this incredible life of sport and athletics and dance with the stars. And then I was on Oprah's stage, speaking and traveling the world, and felt completely capable, 100% capable, so comfortable in my legs as well. To now being knocked off my feet again, not even sure if I'd be able to go back to do those things that I worked so hard to do.
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B
It was almost harder, it sounds like, the second time around.
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C
Because
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B
the first time it was obviously life altering, but it unlocked a whole world of possibilities the second time around. It almost sounds like all these possibilities might stop now because of these challenges.
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C
Exactly.
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B
That's scary.
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C
Yeah. And that's why it was so hard. That's why I say that the first time I was fighting for my life, but the second time I was fighting for the quality of my life. And that made it that much harder. Harder, because now you're like, I'm here on Earth and this is how I'm going to live the rest of my life. And am I going to be the person that I was? Am I the person that I thought I was? Who am I if I'm not doing the things that I was doing that I thought defined me? Who am I now if I can't do those things? If every single thing is just stripped away? Who are you?
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B
Yes. So what did you discover who you were in that process?
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C
I discovered. Let me think. I discovered that. I'll tell you what, it very much so softened me, really? Instead of being very clear, and maybe not clear, but, like, driven or something. Yeah, I was very, very driven before, and I still am. But it softened me to be a little bit more receptive and Let people around me help me. I think for so long, I wanted to share and show just how capable I was.
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B
I could do it. I'll let me do it here.
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C
I mean, we all want to feel that way, right? And people, you know, say, oh, she has prosthetic legs. Like, do you need help with something? I'd be like, I'm fine. I'm an athlete. Like, I traveled the world, you know, and I drag my snowboard bags all around the world. Like, I'm good. But now I really. This softened me in a completely different way, in a very, very good way that allowed other people to not just help me, but I became more receptive, I think, and it connected me to my relationships better and it made me feel more grounded. Like it is when you go through those challenges that you start questioning, why are we here? What is the purpose of this? And how do I want to live the rest of my life? And when you really can have those deep moments, that's when you learn the most about yourself. And that's when you learn the most about what you want for your life and what really matters in life. And for me, I realized it was just the simple stuff. It's, you know, my relationships. My mom was amazing. She took care of me while I was going through all of this. My husband was absolutely incredible. It completely transformed our relationship, really. I went from being, you know, traveling and just being so, I don't know, just so independent, to allowing him to totally step in, take care of things. And he stepped up in a way that I never could have imagined he would be. You know, cleaning the house every day, taking care of me, started cooking every day. I realized how nurturing he was. And I never saw that before, really, like, quite like that. And I think it's because I didn't need it. But once I needed it, it allowed him to rise into a version that he wasn't able to express before either.
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B
Because you never allowed him to. Sounds like you're like, no, I got this. I can do these things. I'll handle it.
- [33:21]
C
Yeah. I really think that our challenges can teach us so much. And that's what going through what I went through. It was a seven year journey of getting back on my feet to walk again. And I'm still in it because I have prosthetic legs. So it's like actually getting my legs to be comfortable enough to walk in, that's like a second phase of the journey that I'm in right now. But the first phase, it's like when you're Going through the depths, you allow yourself to be in the moment and lean into what you're going through instead of trying to resist it. You can learn so much. And those moments become some of your most, I think, grounded, special moments. Because, like I said, people are there for you. You realize people are there for you when you need them the most. Like, that's amazing. What else can you ask for in life but to have those moments of being grounded and knowing that you're supported and being connected with others? I think that's one of the most important things that we have on earth and that we need is, you know, that support.
- [34:33]
B
I think challenges also teach us. Allow other people in our lives to support us, but they also show us who doesn't really care enough to, like, support us as well. When you reach out and say, hey, I'm really struggling. Can you help with this? And someone's silent, right? You're like, oh, they're not as supportive as I thought they would be. So you kind of learn more about who the relationships really matter in your life when you go through challenges. Like, the people step up that are maybe the least that you would expect to do it step up for you sometimes where others maybe not. And I think that allows opportunity for you to build stronger relationships with the right people.
- [35:11]
C
Right? And so it's always a win, right? Because you think, okay, this person's not in your life now because they weren't there for you when you needed them the most. Right? But at the same time, it's like, well, thank God you figured that out. Now you know, who is in your life who has stepped up to support you, but also just that, you know, I think what I learned going through my challenges really is the power of being vulnerable, being comfortable letting people in and not just pretending like you have it all figured out. And when you let people in, it allows them to show up and their best self as well, or maybe show up in a different version that they've shown up in before. They're able to show up and support you in a way that maybe they didn't support you before. And it comes down to you just allowing people in. And for me, going through the challenge that I went through, going through all these surgeries and stuff, I really had no choice but to rely on the support that was around me, and that gave me strength. So, you know, a lot of times, I think we think that resilient people are just resilient. Like, they're just. That's just a resilient person who has a Lot of grit. But I think resilient people realize that there are certain things that help them become strong. There are certain things that help them through challenges. And for me, one of those things was, you know, my relationships and my family and my friends and really leaning into my own vulnerability so that I can let them in. That actually gave me the strength to continue forward.
- [36:51]
B
Wow. Was there ever a time where you were so uncertain that you just said, God, show me the way. Tell me what you want from me? And what was that conversation or conversations and relationship with God been like for you?
- [37:05]
C
It's been an interesting conversation, to be honest. It's been an interesting journey. Yeah, absolutely. My gosh, When I injured my leg, I mean, seven years ago or.
- [37:22]
B
Seven years ago or in the beginning.
- [37:24]
C
Yeah. So when I injured my leg seven years ago, I injured my popliteal artery. I had no idea if I'd be able to wear a prosthetic again. So I didn't even know if I'd be able to walk again. And that was the hardest time of my life. And that went on for a couple years of not knowing. So that was this extended challenge that just seemed to not end right. There wasn't really an end in sight, and there was no. Nobody could give me a prognosis. Nobody could say, oh, yeah. I mean, it was such a unique case.
- [37:55]
B
Yeah, give it six months, you'll recover, or you'll be back on your feet or nothing.
- [37:59]
C
Most people lose their legs from what I went through. I already am an amputee, so that's like, you know, we were just trying to save the rest of my leg and so. And not knowing what the future held. I mean, there was a lot of times that I would just go up and I'd sit in my bathtub and just bawl my eyes out and. But. And I was grieving, you know, I was grieving the loss of who I was. I was grieving the uncertainty of what's to come. And just, you know, I think, like, why do I have to go through this again? It was the first time in my life that I was saying, why me? I never said, why me? When I lost my legs in the first place? But this time I did. But I'll tell you what. First of all, just grieving, just going into my bathtub and allowing myself to grieve, allowing that energy to move through me. I would always get out feeling so much better and hopeful and feel like, okay, I got this. Whatever happens, I'm going to be okay. So that's one of Those things that I just started to pay attention to, that when you allow yourself to feel the emotions, then that's where you find your strength and you can continue forward.
- [39:12]
B
Wow. It's beautiful. The book is amazing. And on page one on one, you have a quote that says, the quality of your life comes down to the stories you choose to believe. You know, you've been. It's been 25 years since losing your legs, I believe. Right? 25 years. And you were just telling me before we started rolling that you're in transition again. In so many different areas of your life, you're in transition and you've been full steam ahead of, like, the last 25 years of building your business and your brand and doing certain things, but now you're almost creating a new identity for what's coming. And again, the quote you say is the quality of your life comes down to the stories you choose to believe. What is the current story you're choosing to believe right now at this new season of possibilities, but also potentially uncertainty of what's to come?
- [40:05]
C
Oh, gosh. I mean, I think, you know, the first kind of the first half of my life or the first third of my life was trying to. Was actually living life normal, right? Not realizing what was out there actually, you know, until I was 20 years old. And then all of a sudden I lost my legs. The next 20 years really became trying to figure out the possibilities. What can I do with these legs? What can I do? What's possible? And I figured those things out and I also figured out my limits, right. And then I think these next 20 years really are. And who knows what they are. But just stepping into this next part of my life really is just helping others see that within themselves that we all have so much potential. No matter what challenges we're faced with, we all are capable of so much. But you don't have to go like crazy achieving big things either, just to know that you are capable of doing the things that you want to do in your life. I think it really is just about living a good life and living a fulfilling life. That's the most important thing we can have, is being fulfilled. And the way to be fulfilled is to be able to deal with the adversities that come our way. Because the longer we live, the more adversity we're going to face. Like, that's all there is to it. You know, you get older and things start falling apart. And I mean, the longer you live, like, the more chance that you'll have a disability, you'll have to go through something major and you'll lose people, you'll lose different versions of your, of yourself. And so the more we can just accept that that is the process of life and that is actually what brings us closer to our ourselves. That's like, that's kind of where I'm at right now. I'm just in a. I'm in a space of being very appreciative for everything that I've gone through. Everywhere I'm at, as far as everything I have, you know, to deal with or. But I don't know, I think, you know, we all have challenges. I mean, that's just the biggest thing I think. And it's knowing that that's a part of life. It's not. Those aren't detours that knock you out of life. Those are the things that help you discover life more and deeper.
- [42:32]
A
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- [43:56]
B
all the wisdom you have now for the last 25 years. If you could go back to the 19, 20 year old who just lost her legs and her kidney and her spleen, what are three pieces of advice you would say to her if she was sitting right in front of you in that hospital bed?
- [44:11]
C
Oh, my gosh, three pieces of advice. First of all, I would say two, that you are going to go through a lot of challenges. But don't focus on the problem. Focus on the possibility. Focus on the possibility within the problem. There always is one. So don't let the problems grow. Focus on the little slivers of things that you find in there that you can lean into, because that will take you. That won't just get you through your challenges. That will take you further than you ever knew you could go. The second thing is to, gosh, just let me think. You're just so capable of so much. So don't let your problems stop you. You are capable of more than you even know. We all are. We'll never even reach our potential of what we're capable of, just knowing that. And so just whatever it is that you want to do, go after it. Don't look at your challenges as these obstacles. Look at those challenges as the way to get to where you want to go. Because they will help you if you look at them in that way. And I think, you know, I guess the third thing is just to. And it's how I've always felt, to be honest. But just appreciate your body. Your body is just so powerful. It's so amazing. Our bodies are absolute healers. And so just appreciate it, take care of it. The more you take care of your body, the more it will take care of you and it will be there for you. I mean, my body's been my greatest ally through all of this because, gosh, I've gone through surgeries and lost my legs and, and kidney transplant and all this stuff. And yet my body has recouped and been strong and resilient. And my body has actually taught me how to be resilient. It continues to bounce back every single time and do what it's supposed to do. I mean, that's just so incredible. So I would just, I would continue to, I would say keep taking care of yourself because your body will carry you through some of your greatest challenges.
- [46:20]
B
If you could go 25 years in the future and give yourself advice today from your future self, hypothetically, if you could go into the future, what do you think she would say to you right now with where you're at, you're launching this book about bouncing forward. You're going through personal transitions and career and business. You've kind of lived a full life of accomplishing certain goals and dreams to show what was possible for yourself. But now you have new season of life. What do you think she would say to you? Three things. As you are right now leaning into
- [47:01]
C
this season, maybe the first thing would be like, Amy, you already know. You already know what it's about, which really is just being truly being present. Like, just stay present every moment that you can so you can observe and lean into everything that you can learn from along the way. Like, just don't get too ahead of yourself because life is always going to change. You think you know where you're going and you have no idea. So just stay present.
- [47:42]
B
Do you feel like it was hard for you to stay present in the last 25 years? Like you're always thinking about the next thing that.
- [47:47]
C
I think for a long time, I think I was. I think that's what happens when you reach. Well, not just reach success, but when you have a lot coming in. When you're, you know, all of a sudden it's like sometimes, you know, you've worked so hard to be successful, then all of a sudden you have a lot that's coming in. For me, I was, you know, I've spent a lot of time speaking, speaking on stages, and it's amazing what I feel like I've been able to do. But at the same time, it can get you a little bit in a mindset of what's next. What's next. Okay. Especially when you achieve big things, right. Like the Paralympics or you're an athlete. So just once you achieve certain things, sometimes you're like, okay, you're in achieving
- [48:29]
B
what's the next thing. Yeah, of course.
- [48:31]
C
And so, yeah, I think I'm actually enjoying not overachieving right now.
- [48:38]
B
It feels relaxing, huh?
- [48:40]
C
Yeah, it does feel relaxing. I feel like I'm in a much more calm, confident space than I was at before. And I'm okay with just kind of what is.
- [48:48]
B
That's great.
- [48:49]
C
And that's. And so I think just I continue to go back to being present, but just I would tell myself to continue to be present because that's where you. That's where you grow the most. That's where you learn the most, and that's. That's where you make the smartest decisions as well.
- [49:07]
B
Yeah. Okay. So that's the first thing you Say,
- [49:10]
C
I'm not sure what I would tell myself for the other two. My gosh. I would say lean into. I would say take care of my family and friends and relationships probably more than I am now, for sure. You're very good at that, actually taking care of relationships. Yeah. It's because it's something that I want to be doing. So if I think about, like, the next part of my life, it would be just, you get so busy that you don't. You don't pay attention to what everybody else is going through at times.
- [49:49]
B
What would that look like this year for you, if that wisdom to take care of relationships, friends, family, what would that look like for you to actually be doing for this year?
- [49:59]
C
It would actually be slowing down with work, probably, which is hard to do. It's hard because you work so hard to get to where you're at. And now you're like, now I'm here and I don't have time to, you know, spend time with my nieces and nephews, and they're all grown.
- [50:14]
B
And one of the things that I've done in the last. I mean, this is challenging for me because I like to accomplish and achieve and I set goals and I want to create them. But I have said no over the last six months. I've said yes to a lot as well. But I've said no to a lot of money making opportunities, trips, cool experiences, because I just don't want to be away that much from my family.
- [50:36]
C
Exactly.
- [50:36]
B
And so even I went to Vienna to give a speech a couple weeks ago, and I was only there for 24 hours, but it took 16 hours to get there and 16 hours to get back. And I was supposed to stay for three days, but I stayed for one because I wanted to get back to be with my wife, Mikey, kids. And there could have been other cool opportunities if I would have stayed. I was like, you know what? I'm going to miss out on that. But I'm going to be more present with my family and I'm not going to sleep for three days, and I'm going to make it work. But it's choosing to figure out what to say yes to and what to say no to and figuring that out. And it's hard to do sometimes when you have so many cool opportunities or money making opportunities or trips or this or that. It's like, it's. Learning how to say no is a challenge.
- [51:29]
C
Learning how to say no is a huge challenge. And that's actually. That is where I'm at right now.
- [51:33]
B
Or it's flipping it and saying. Learning how to say yes to your friends and family. And then you don't even have to say no.
- [51:40]
C
Exactly. Exactly.
- [51:42]
B
It's like instead of, right, I'm choosing
- [51:44]
C
this instead of this. It's not a loss.
- [51:47]
B
I'm not saying no to this. I'm saying yes to my family, so I can't do anything else.
- [51:50]
C
Exactly. Yeah.
- [51:52]
B
Okay, so that's. I'm gonna check in on you in a few months and see, hey, are you taking care of family and friends by saying yes to that? And what was the third thing you would say?
- [52:00]
C
I think the third thing would just be get really clear on what you want because then that makes it easier to say yes to your friends and family or say yes to certain things. We think we're clear, but I don't know. It's not until you really ask yourself some smart questions that you're really clear on what it is you want. It's really easy to look at social media or whatever it may be and see people doing all types of stuff and then thinking that that's what you should be doing as well. But when you really reel it in and decide and figure out what you want yourself, what do I really want for my life and what am I willing to sacrifice to get it? And these days, because I am in such a. Just a more calm space in my life, I'm not willing to sacrifice my own. I'll tell you what. I know I'm not ready. I no longer will sacrifice my nervous system for stuff like getting caught up and freaked out about something not going right or rushing around. I so want to have a calm nervous system. And that's so important to me. I just. Yeah, I know what I don't want, which is I don't want to get caught up in things that don't matter and just truly focus on the things that do matter. So getting clear on those things, for
- [53:28]
B
sure, I'm curious if you could give me some advice. You're three time Paralympian, correct. Three time Paralympic medalist.
- [53:36]
C
Yes. Two time Paralympian.
- [53:37]
B
Two time Paralympian. Three time Paralympic medalister. You know, my dream is to be in the 2028 Olympics with the USA handball team. There's no guarantees. I've got two and a half more years. I've been on and off the team for 16 years playing this sport. This is my last chance to make the team as an Olympic athlete. And this is something I've been pursuing for 20 years plus years since I was a kid probably 40 years, right? But 20 years since I saw the sport for the first time, knowing that there's only so much I can do, which is take care of my conditioning, my athletic ability, my health, you know, and doing all the things that I can control. But making the team and being on the roster is not 100% in my control, no matter how good I am. And even sometimes the best players don't make the team for whatever reason, but there's a chance I could make it, and there's a chance I cannot make it for whatever reason. I've got to stay healthy. All these different things. What advice would you have to me as a three time Paralympic medalist, with my dream and goal to be an Olympian over the next couple years on how I should approach this season?
- [54:50]
C
I think you should just fall in love with the process that is it, because it is the process that builds you. It's the process that you'll remember. Those are all the things. Even if you were standing on a podium looking back, those are all the things you'll remember is the people along the way, the little moments along the way, the things that you learned about yourself along the way. Because once you get there, it's so fleeting. And you already know that too. It's like once you achieve something, it's so fleeting, you get there. And if anything, you don't always feel like, I made it. You maybe feel that way for a moment, but then you're like, well, what's next? What do I gotta do next? And so it really is really appreciating the process and being super present in it. Because even if you make it, and even if you win medals, what you'll remember most is not what it felt like to stand on the podium getting the medal. You'll remember what it took to get there. And I mean, that really is, you know, that really is what it's about. Because once you hit that spot, you end up going, okay, now what am I doing with my life tomorrow?
- [56:06]
B
Right? And yeah, it's almost like the process is over now.
- [56:10]
C
The process is over now. And I actually realized this. Even going through my injury, it's kind of similar. But I, you know, I was going through this injury and it was major. Like I was sitting in a wheelchair in my house for a couple years. I mean, I was working. It was all during COVID I was still doing like virtual speeches and stuff like that. But I could not. I had one prosthetic leg. I couldn't really get on crutches. I really couldn't do as much as I was doing before, that's for sure. But there was this day that I was in my kitchen, I was sitting in my wheelchair, and nothing had changed with my circumstances. My leg wasn't any better at this point. I had all these surgeries, and I was pouring myself a cup of coffee, and I realized that I was happy, and I really felt happy. And I froze. And I thought to myself, how am I happy? Like, I'm in the same situation that I've been in this whole time. Nothing has changed. And I realized I was happy because I was problem solving and I was working on something every day. My problem solving was, how do I get in my legs? How do I get comfortable again? How do I get doing the things that I love to do? And so I was biohacking. I was talking to all these different people. I was doing hot and cold therapy. I was. I was researching, I was doing all this stuff. And I realized that I was happy. And I was happy not because I reached some kind of outcome. I was happy because I was problem solving and because that gave me purpose and because I was in the process of doing something. That's what brought the happiness. And so it's similar to being an athlete or having a huge goal. It's falling in love with the process. It's recognizing, because if you haven't made it to the podium yet, you can't really reflect back. But it's recognizing that that process is what's actually making you fulfilled and making you happy. And standing on the podium or making it to your goals is just the. You almost just get a relief because you go, okay, like, I did it. But that's not what brought. Yeah, the fulfillment.
- [58:27]
A
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B
Your door, your yard, your home.
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A
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B
It makes a big difference.
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A
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- [60:36]
B
Why do you think there's a certain amount of athletes, specifically at the Olympic level, that once they accomplish their dream or they go to the Olympics or they medal, there's a certain amount who have gone through extreme depression afterwards. There's a documentary called Weight of Gold. I don't know if you've seen this.
- [60:52]
C
I have.
- [60:53]
B
And it's sad to see these incredible athletes, not all of them, but some of them go through extreme highs and then extreme lows right after the Olympics, within like months, they're like, what's my purpose? Who am I? It's almost like they have this new identity but they don't know how to navigate it. Why do you think that is for so many Olympians that go through and I don't know if that's same for Paralympians and Olympians. Or do you know other athletes who've gone through this?
- [61:19]
C
Absolutely. I know athletes going through it right now.
- [61:21]
B
Really?
- [61:21]
C
Because the Paralympics and Olympics just ended, and, yeah, it's huge. And I'll tell you what, even when you win medals, you feel that on the other side.
- [61:31]
B
Really? Why is that? You just won the highest high.
- [61:34]
C
That's why.
- [61:34]
B
You're the best in the world.
- [61:35]
C
That's why.
- [61:36]
B
And now you crash.
- [61:37]
C
Why, exactly? Yeah, that is. I mean, that's a huge part of it. It really is. There's nothing like. There's nothing like the feeling of being the best in the world, trying to be the best in the world. All the years that it takes to get there. Years, all the energy, everything that goes into it, and then also performing on the world's biggest stage. And when you do that, it's like the world's watching and everything clicks and everything comes together. And then all of a sudden, real life is on the other side of that, and it just. You don't get that adrenaline. You don't have that drive. It's hard to find that drive in anything else, really. You're not waking up, training to maybe do your podcast. It's just a different type of energy that goes into it. So there's a letdown, I think, no matter what, on the other side. And that's why I say it's so important to fall in love with the process and to just be really present in the journey of it, because that's. I mean, that's ultimately like, what you'll flashback on and what means the most. And I also think we just put such high expectations on that one moment. Like, that's supposed to be the best competition and race of your life, because it's the Olympics and you have no idea what's going to happen. The conditions could be horrible. It's, you know, something's not set up right. Like you're not together like you thought you would be. Like, we think that that's the most pinnacle moment and the most important moment of our sporting career. And that it's just one day. That's it. It's just one day. And anything can happen on that one day.
- [63:17]
B
Anything.
- [63:18]
C
Right. And so I think we have this vision and this dream of competing in the Games, sometimes getting there and being completely, completely let down by the experience.
- [63:28]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [63:29]
C
And it could be anything that happened that day that could let you down. And so. And I actually felt a little let down even after winning silver. I Won silver and bronze. Yeah.
- [63:40]
B
Why'd you feel that?
- [63:40]
C
I was grateful that I won in. I was like, yes, I'm so grateful, but I felt a little bit let down, just, you know, because I could have performed better because I. There were just certain things that I thought of afterwards that I thought, gosh, I could have actually pushed for that goal even harder. That can eat you up, you know? But what I love about that journey was that I, for the first time ever, was so present in my training for the couple years leading up, because I took time off after Dance with the Stars and Paralympics, or my first Paralympics, and then I came back to the Paralympic Games. And I'll tell you what actually made me come back and change my perspective a little bit on things is because I was like, when I went into Dance with the Stars, when I went into doing the Oprah tour and all of that, so I just won a medal at the Paralympic Games. I was kind of in this achievement mode of, what's next? What's next? And then I decided to go back to my second Paralympic Games, compete in some of these World Cups. At that point, I was the underdog and I was horrible. Like, I was not at the level of everybody else. Not that I was horrible, but I was not at that level that everybody else who had continued to compete. And I remember I was standing in the Stargates. I was in Italy and we were doing a World cup and it was icy and it was cloudy and the course was super sketchy and. And, I mean, I have two prosthetic legs. Can't feel my feet on the ground. Anyways, I was kind of falling and frustrated and working on my legs, trying to figure things out. And I went back to my room and I was asking myself, why am I doing this? I don't have to be here. I already have a career outside of this. I don't have to be here. Why am I doing this? I thought, if I have a bad day tomorrow, that's it, I'm just done. I don't need to be here. That night, I was getting ready to get into bed. I got a phone call at 11 o' clock at night, and it was the front desk. And we were just staying in this little Italian village, in just this little house in this Italian village up in the Dolomites. I get this phone call and they say that there's somebody downstairs to talk to me. And I was thinking, who would it be? It must be my coach, I guess. And so I put my pajamas on, I went downstairs and There was this young girl standing there and two prosthetic legs with five people around her. And they saw on Instagram that I was in this little village, and they jumped in the car. They drove four hours to find me. They knocked down every door in that village to find me.
- [66:28]
B
Wow.
- [66:29]
C
And it was all to figure out how I snowboarded into prosthetic legs so that she could do it, too.
- [66:34]
B
That's pretty cool. Just that alone might have been worth the whole experience, right?
- [66:37]
C
Well, it did. It completely changed my whole view on why I did what I did. And it took the kind of pressure of like, oh, I'm here to win medals away completely. I thought, that's not what it's about at all. I ended up sitting down with her. It was her grandparents and a translator and her leg maker, and they were all trying to figure out how I set my legs up. I spent the next hour with them, and when I walked away, I thought to myself, immediately, I thought, that's why. That's why I do this. Not to win medals, not to be the best in the world, but to show other people that they can do this, too. Like, they can live their dreams too, no matter what challenges they're faced with. And that changed the way I approached my training. From that point forward, I knew my why so strong that it didn't matter how hard things got. I knew exactly why I was showing up every single day. I never asked again, why am I doing this? I knew why I did it. And it was so much more fulfilling to know that answer and to not be doing it for myself, really, to be doing it to show what the possibilities are so that others can believe that they can achieve their goals as
- [67:54]
B
well,
- [67:57]
C
and to be an example of what's possible. And that just changed my whole perspective on how I and approach, on how I went into that Paralympic Games. I was so calm, present, appreciative. I brought my whole family with me to competitions, which I didn't do going into the first Paralympics that I was in. I was so focused in my first Paralympics that I was just.
- [68:24]
B
Don't distract me.
- [68:25]
C
Exactly. It was like everybody fall aside, and I just focused on what I needed to do. But for this Paralympics, I brought my family with me. I enjoyed the ride. I enjoyed every moment. Even when I competed, I competed. I could have competed stronger and better, of course, but what I am so proud of myself, of is that I was so present while I was competing. And so, yeah, I mean, there's a few different things in there. It's knowing why you're doing what you're doing and that it can't be the outcome and it can't be, like, the shiny objects. Like, that's not enough of a why to. To drive you through the process of it and. And also being present enough that you actually are enjoying during the process. Yeah, yeah. Enjoying the ride. Because that's what. That's. That's the most important part of it. Otherwise, you know, metal is just collect dust and they end up on your wall. And you're like, that's awesome. But what that really meant was you get to go back and say, but this is the meaning behind that. Which is the most important part, which you get whether you win a medal or not.
- [69:36]
B
I'm loving all this. Your new book is called Bounce Forward. I want everyone to go get a copy of the book. It's out now. And it's 21 tools to live a life beyond limits. You're all over social media, on Instagram. People can follow you there and see your content and your journey as well. The theme that I'm hearing you say throughout this is to stay present, is to take care of family and friends and to enjoy the process. That's what I've been hearing as kind of a reflection of the last 25 years of what you did and what you wish you would have done, more of where you're at now and where you're heading in the future. I want to ask you a question. I think I asked you this 10 years ago on the show, I believe so I'm curious to look back and see what your answers were then. This is called the Three Truths question. Okay, so hypothetical scenario. We've gone into the past, we've gone into 25 in the years in the future. If you could imagine all the way to the very end of your life, very far in the future, and you could think about your whole life experience. We're in the future now. And for whatever reason, it's your last day on earth, and you've accomplished and created all the things you want to do. But for whatever reason, on the last day, you have to take all of your work with you, all of your books and your content. It has to go to another place. Hypothetical scenario. But you get to leave behind three lessons to the world. And this is all we would have of your content. These three lessons. I call it the Three Truths. What would those three truths be for you?
- [71:07]
C
I would say that your problems aren't an obstacle towards your purpose. Your problems are the way to your purpose. Because by leaning into them, they teach you what you really want and what's really meaningful to you. The second one, I would say is we're capable of so much more than we know. And no matter what adversity you're faced with, you are capable of so much more than you know. And to lean into that, to know that, to know that your challenges don't need to stop you, they really can open up the doors to figuring out just how capable you really are.
- [71:59]
B
Yeah.
- [72:01]
C
And I'd say the third one is that contribution matters. Whether you're contributing support to somebody else or you're contributing your voice to something, or you're contributing your art to something, or music, contribution matters. Which makes me believe that we're supposed to do it. Because it feels so good. Yes, it feels so good. When you show up and contribute what you have with the world that matters.
- [72:37]
B
That's beautiful. Again, I want to make sure people get your book, bounce forward. Make sure you guys get a copy for a friend as well. It's going to really inspire you with whatever challenge you feel like you're going through. Any problems you're going through, it's going to inspire you to hopefully overcome them with some more peace and purpose. Final question for you, Amy, before I ask, I want to acknowledge you for your contribution. Constantly being a light in the world where so many people struggle, your voice matters. I'm so grateful for you. We've known each other for 10 years, we've done a lot of stuff together, and you continue to show up and inspire so many people, including myself. So I appreciate you. I'm grateful for your contribution and I'm excited to see how you step into your, you know, your next path and what you're up to of being present. Enjoy the process, diving into family and friends and receiving and relaxing. I'm excited to see that that season of life for you. And my final question is, what's your definition of greatness?
- [73:35]
C
My definition of greatness is living a life of possibility and helping others do the same.
- [73:42]
B
Amy Purdon, thank you so much. Appreciate you.
- [73:45]
C
Thank you.
- [73:45]
B
Amazing.
- [73:46]
A
I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness.
- [73:51]
B
Make sure to check out the show
- [73:52]
A
notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness+channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter and now it's time to
- [74:32]
B
go out there and do something great.
- [74:44]
C
Why have we asked our contractor we found on Angie.com to be our kid's legal guardian? Because he took such good care when redoing our basement that we knew we could trust him to care for our kids, all eight of them, should something happen to us. Are you my dad now?
- [74:59]
B
No, sorry. I do basements Connecting homeowners with skilled
- [75:05]
A
pros for over 30 years.
- [75:06]
B
Angie the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home projects@angie.com Breathe in.
- [75:14]
D
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