← The Self Aware Leader with Jason Rigby
The Self Aware Leader with Jason Rigby
4 Laws of Leadership Resilience to Stop Sucking & Lead Like a Badass
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Hey, leader. Yeah, you. Let's cut through the noise and get real. I want you to answer these questions in your head right now. Number one, when's the last time you made a tough call without second guessing yourself for days on end? Number two, how often does your team just smile and nod and figure it out outside of you when you consistently drop the ball? Number three, are you secretly relieved that they're not calling you and they're not calling you out on those vague just keep going speeches that you do with the boring PowerPoints with cells and everything else just being at a negative. The budget. You're overspending on the budget. You're worried about losing your job. Number four, last question I'm going to ask you. Do you feel like you're faking it? Do you feel like some days you're hoping no one notices? Well, if you're squirming, that's good. That's your wake up call. Because you know why? I've been there too. I was thinking that I was leading when in reality my team was covering for me. And this is a huge ego thing and a lot of leaders won't talk about this, but I want to talk about how your team covers for you, what you can do to fix this. I thought that I was resilient. I thought that I was a great leader and I thought my team had my back. But they weren't. They were faking it. They're just trying to survive. Why are they trying to survive? They need a paycheck. And then they were filling in my leadership gaps. But they can't do it. If they could do it, they would be the leader. Here's the deal. It's February 22, 2025. Uncertainty in this world is the default and your team isn't thriving. You guys are in a sinking ship and they're patching holes that you haven't filled. And that's on you as a leader. The good news is that you can fix this. And today I'm going to go into four laws of leadership Resilience. And I'm going to give you not just the laws, but a step by step guide so that you can start leading through all this chaos that we have. So let's recognize the problem. The problem is this, your team. Believe it or not, this is a wake up ego call. Your team's faking it. Your team's not resilient. They're waiting for you to grow a spine. And your team, if you want to know the ugly truth, your team is just carrying you, they're not thriving, they're surviving. They're fixing your messes constantly. And they smile and nod through the fluff that you give and they keep quiet. Why? Because if you're not a leader, what are you? And I don't like to use the word follower, but that's a person that's not really into leadership. So they want two things. Security, a paycheck, and they hate drama. So what are they going to do? They're going to appease the conversations that you have with them. They're going to sit in the meetings and pretend like they're taking notes. They're going to listen to your half baked strategies and you're going to think in your head, wow, these guys, like me, they get it. Especially if you don't even realize how narcissistic you are. I do this all the time with leaders. This is crazy. I, I've talked to more leaders because I'll watch their interaction. I've sat with the leader just for a few hours and see how they talk and if they always bring it back to themselves. And some of you have leaders that are this way. If you're in middle management, your upper leadership, it's this way or they will like have a conversation. And 80% of the time they're talking and they're talking about maybe a problem that they're having in their personal life or whatever. And it's like, really? That's so narcissistic that every word that comes out of your mouth has to be helping others. And if you're doing that, you're not a leader yet. You're just a placeholder that these people are stuck with. And that sounds harsh, but it's the truth. Because they did a survey this week and 97% of execs say resilience matters and is important. But half of them admitted that they suck at it. And the odds are that you're in that half. So law number one, face your weakness. Build personal resilience. What does that look like? Well, if you're mentally exhausted, if you're emotionally drained, and if you're paralyzed by indecision and then you just put this fake confident smile on and hope no one notices. Well, guess what? Here's a reality check for you. They notice. They know. Your team sees your hesitation. They know when you're stalling, they pick up your slack constantly. But guess what? If they have to do that, they're going to resent you. They're not going to tell you that. But secretly, down deep inside, they're having conversations about you and resenting you. That's why you can never get them to commit fully. And if you're not leading, then you're leaning on them. And that's not strength. And I don't mean to be mean, but it's you being a coward because you're not facing the position as a leader that you were given. And you're also hurting people, not helping people. So how do you fix this? That sounds pretty serious. Jason, I want you to look in the mirror every day and write down two things. This is it. You're going to write down what's breaking me today. What's breaking me today. Number two, you're going to write down what's building me today. So what's breaking me today? Oh, I got in a big argument with my boyfriend, my girlfriend, and you know, you know, this happened. This happened. So you're going to write that down. Why? Because you need to realize indecision drains people. And your indecision about a personal relationship, what will happen a lot of times, and I see this with leaders, they will come into work and these people have to listen to you because you're the boss. So leaders will come in and just dump on these people because they have to smile and look at you and pretend like they care. They do not want to hear your personal problems. They do not want to hear your personal problems at all. That's unfair to do that. You're taking advantage of your position. So what's breaking me today? Gain clarity on it. That's what will fuel you. Clarity fuels. And then what's building me today? Oh, I went and worked out this morning or I had a run this morning or I had a great conversation with the mentor. Find out what's breaking and building you. And then number two, decide fast. Every day, make one decision, big or small, but you're going to make it without overthinking. You're going to start with yes or no decisions. Those are easy to do, guys. No, I'm not going to think this. No, no, we're not going to do this. Because what happens, it's a muscle and momentum in decision making. Will always listen to me, will always build confidence. Number three, own your chaos. Admit when you're stuck. Admit it. It's an ego thing. Admit when you're stuck. Then take action to improve that self awareness. Your team already knows your flaws, guys. They know you. You've put yourself out there. If you're with them for 4, 6, 8, 10 hours a day, they know you just Acknowledge them and move on. It's that simple. Because guess what happens if you have self awareness? You're going to end up working on them anyways and they're going to see that too. And that's going to boost them up and they're going to operate at a higher level. Also stop being a liability. If you trust yourself, your team will trust you, guaranteed. So law number two, forge your team, stop making them fake it. Your team isn't fragile. They're just running around being reactive, cleaning up after you people. Leaders do not like to hear this. I say this all the time. I was like, you know what your team's doing? They're cleaning up after you. What? No, no, no. Yeah, you run around and cause a ton of chaos and say stupid shit and they have to come in and clean up after you. And you know how I know that? Because I did that as a middle manager. I was in the Marine Corps. So I thought, well, this is what we're going to do. We're going to run this and be super disciplined and we're going to get people in order. And I had to have linchpins, people that are behind me, thank God that I had them, that would have to clean up my mess. Maybe you're passive aggressive and you don't need it all. So there's other people around you that have to actually lead. They will get through this speech. Well, we're down 10% in sales or, you know, we, we've, you know our this and this is down 30%. But you know the economy, everybody always has an excuse for something that will get through this speech. That's not a plan, that's not clarity. You know what's happening behind the scenes. If you have a team that cares, they're panicking and they're trying to figure it out themselves. They don't need to survive on your weak leadership. Your team isn't following you, they're surviving you. And that's a problem. So how do we fix this? Spill the truth. Not about you. This isn't about you. I want you to understand this. When you go to spill the truth, it's not like, oh, you know, guys, I've been a shitty leader and I'm willing to, I'm going to work on myself. And this isn't about you. What you're going to do is you're going to say in your organization where you're at, what you're in charge of, your department, whatever it may be, maybe you're in charge of the whole company as A CEO, whatever it is, the founder. Here's the mess, here's the fight. Here's why we win. Clarity will always stop the guessing game. Here's the Mess. We're down 10% in sales. Here's the fight. We need more sales enablement material from the marketing department. We need this, we need that. You know, we're 20% over budget and the project's not even completed yet. Here's the fight. And then here's why we win. Now, how I would do this in a meeting that I've had to learn. I talk every meeting. I talk 20 talks, 80. How do you get that to happen, Jason? Really, really simple. Super simple. Ask questions. Just keep asking questions. And. And how would that be? Oh, okay. And Susan, I know you're from the marketing department. How does that work with this finance? What. What would you say about this? See how you just constantly just keep asking questions and guess what will happen. The team together. And you will come up with a game plan, a winning game plan. And then there's no guessing game because there's clarity. Number two. Number one, spill the truth. Number two, give a real why hitting the numbers isn't a motivating speech. Now, if you say we're building something that's going to help humanity and it's unstoppable, that's amazing. Always tie their work to, to an impact. That's so important. Guys, tie their work to an impact. How is it impacting? Ask them. I want to get more of a vision of what you're doing with your role. I see this, this and this, how you're impacting, you know, in this area, in this area. And don't make it. It doesn't need to be about revenue and money. We don't need more corporate talk in the world. Make it personal. And then ask them, say, well, what, you know, what's. And then they will tell you. I guarantee you they know the impact of their work and what it's doing. And then number three, let them fail safely. Create space for risk taking. Let them go, let them bomb. That's all what it is. Why? Because that's how you learn. That's a learning environment. And in that learning environment, the team grows tougher and tougher and tougher. And then they're able to be more proactive. More proactive. And then eventually you have decentralized leadership where everybody's leading. And if you haven't got. I say this all the time, but if you haven't got Jocko Willink's books, he's the next Navy seal. And if you don't like military industrial complex or whatever you can do with that, it does not matter. The principles in the book are timeless and amazing. And if you can have decentralized command or decentralized leadership, your team stops faking resilience, and they start owning it. And that's what you want. Law number three, master uncertainty. Lead, don't react. So lead, don't react. Well, if uncertainty is owning you, take it back. Start leading like a badass. When chaos hits, most leaders freeze. There's a supply chain crisis. Oh, my God. There's an AI shift. Don't wait and see. Don't assess, and don't give it to a board to decide. Because guess what happens when you don't make a decision. Your team's winging it, and they're lost. They have no direction where to go. I did this once. I stalled on a crisis for weeks on end, and my team took matters in their own hands. And it felt horrible because I just felt like a passenger. It was horrific. I was like. Kind of like one of the many hammers that I had to get hit in the head when I realized that I wasn't steering the ship and that my team was pretty much dragging me along. So how do you fix this? Decide fast, pick a direction and commit. Start making calls at 70% certainty. Momentum will always be paralysis. There's, like, everybody, always. When I start, when I start seeing this commitment is not set in stone forever. You're not chiseling something in stone. We have updates in software. Why? Because new things happen, new problems come up, and then it just updates, fix, updates, fix, updates, fix. That's the same with your commitment in a meeting. Hey, guys, we all committed to this last week. Looks like this is the direction we need to go. We notice this hole, this hole. These are some really good things. We can double down on this. Now you make the commitment 2.0, and then the commitment 3.0. The commitment always updates. When you have team meetings, decide fast. Number two. Adapt faster. Humans. That's what we're all about, isn't it? Adaptation. If it's not working, kill it fast and pivot. Kill it fast. Pivot, move on. Ask your team. Hey, guys, this isn't working. What does EVG feel about killing this? And let's pivot to this direction. Give me the pros and cons of this, Susan. You save weeks of wasted effort. Adaptation. If you can adapt fast and learn how to do that. Commit fast, adapt fast. You're in the top 1% of leaders. And then number three, this makes you unstoppable. Paint the win. Stop doom scrolling problems. That's what followers do, not leaders. You have to lay out a bold clear vision on how you'll win. We love winners. How you'll win. What does it look like to win? Uncertainty will become your advantage and your team will stop waiting and they'll start attacking problems. And that brings when you have problems and your team has clarity and they have a bold clear vision that you've given them and they attack the problem and they win. Those wins build momentum and guess what happens? They get stronger as a team. Stronger as a team. And one of the most beautiful things that happen is everyone begins to trust each other. And that's amazing. You want to go 20, 30, 40, 50x, get trust involved. And I've done podcasts on trust. It's amazing. Law number four, we'll be done. You guys don't have to listen to me anymore. If you've tuned me out, go to law number three. Go back five minutes. Law number four, ignite inspiration. Make them believe. I've said this before. I don't care what your politics are. We don't get into that bullshit here. I don't care what your religion is. But I'm telling you, if you want to see how people inspire, leaders inspire. How they create and cast big vision. Look at mega church pastors, leadership stuff. A lot of them have leadership books that they've written. They have to inspire. That's one thing they have is doing a bigger vision. They have a really small staff and a bunch of volunteers. Right? And they have to grow this big organization. Your motivational speeches guys are corporate noise. Make the dream work. The teamwork that doesn't inspire anyone. What they're doing is sitting there waiting for a real leader to walk in. Your team isn't rallying behind you. They're waiting for someone worth following. And I know that sounds harsh, but I'm trying to wake you up so that you understand what's really going on. So how do we fix this? Ditch the script, drop the slides, stop doing these stupid speeches. Lock eyes and speak from conviction number two. Show the stakes. It's not a job, it's a mission. Everything that you have is a mission. What does that look like? If you can tie the grind to real world impact, Everyone wakes up. A mission is way more important than just I got this job that I do. I show up at 9:01 and I leave at 4.58. And I hate my boss, but they pay good, and it's got good benefits. And they let me sometimes pick my kid up. You know, I hear that all the time. And then number three, prove it. Take bold action. If you take a risky move and you take bold action, trust will skyrocket in the organization. It always happens that way because they look at you and like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Jason's, like, leading. Wow. And then your team will stop pretending to care, and they'll start fighting with you for something that's real. The mission is real. And I'm telling you guys, I've been a leader screw up before my team, I've watched them fake it and then they faked it until I finally got my act together. And these four laws that I talked about today, Face your weakness. Forge your team. Master uncertainty, ignite inspiration. They are your way out of bad leadership. The world is a mess, guys, and your team's watching. Are you going to keep sucking or are you going to lead through the storm and handle it like a badass? That's on.