Podcast
The SelfWork Podcast
Hosted by Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD · EN
I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 30 years, TEDx speaker, and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or that it somehow suggests you can't fix your own problems. My team is very honored that nine years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question as well as interviews with outstanding guests, authors, and experts, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there (ranked as a top .5% internationally) I keep it short, casual, and focused on "what you can do about it." I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.
33episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
500 SelfWork: Paul Gilmartin On Healing from Maternal Sexual Abuse
6d ago00:46:25Tap to summarizeIt’s a little hard to describe Paul Gilmartin.He's worked as a stand-up comic. He makes furniture. And he's a maternal abuse survivor.To add to that, he was one of the first hosts of the TBS show Dinner and A Movie. In fact, he hosted that show for years – and people still recognize him when he’s out and about!But his life has moved in many directions.Since 2011 however, he’s been the host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast – where he interviews all kinds of people – occasionally a mental health professional. And he encourages folks on the podcast to be as honest as they’re ready to be – about things that many have a struggle with revealing.I was honored to be on his podcast a few months ago. Paul’s demeanor is such that you find yourself talking to him like no one’s listening… which of course they will eventually be doing just that. He creates a safe space to do that within – and I found it quite a forgiving and emotionally supportive space. Something that makes his podcast unique is that he encourages his listeners to fill out anonymous surveys so he knows what exactly they’re going through – and no holes are barred as far as subject matter. And that’s where his conversations go – into territory that holds shame or fear for many.You can perhaps tell I’m a huge advocate for his work.Our Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcribe →499 SelfWork: Emotional Martyrdom: It's Different Than Self-Sacrifice
2w ago00:22:08Tap to summarizeEmotional martyrdom. What is it? And where does it come from? That's today's SelfWork episode.Recently, I got a comment on the questionnaire blogpost on perfectly hidden depression - from a woman whose every word convinced me that there are too many people in the world who believe it's their job to keep everyone around them happy.So today we're going to look at what's termed emotional martyrdom. This could be you or someone you're in a relationship with. It can sound like, "It's my job to keep everyone happy, whether or not I am happy myself." Or, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Or, "I'm not hungry. Y'all go on and eat what's there and I'll see what's left."Emotional martyrdom can be insidious, as it often masquerades as altruism but leads to neglecting one's own needs and happiness.The listener email involves a woman who was overly enmeshed with her own mom. She felt guilt for leaving in seeing other members of the family becoming enmeshed. But she also realized she might be repeating the same pattern, and asks the question, "Should she overcompensate or work on things slowly?"ORDER The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go. Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode. Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!Our Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcribe →498 SelfWork: Plastic Surgery: Understanding Its Psychological Side with Dr. Rady Rahban
3w ago00:44:31Tap to summarizeToday we're focusing on the psychological side of plastic surgery. This interview with renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Rady Rahban answers all your questions about the psychological side of choosing both reconstructive and plastic surgery. Understanding the motivations and emotional impacts of such decisions is crucial for anyone considering these procedures. The intersection of psychology and plastic surgery reveals much about our societal standards of beauty and self-acceptance.Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!Our Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcribe →497 SelfWork: What's The Current Controversy Over What "Licensed Mental Health Professional" Means
4w ago00:24:44Tap to summarizeToday we’ll focus on what it means to be a licensed mental health professional. How are coaches and influencers different from licensed mental health professionals? And how has the rise of therapists themselves online affected the social media culture, while unlicensed influencers are offering mental health advice?We'll focus on five major concerns of the online presence (and often persistence) of online 'therapists', be they the licensed kind, coaches, or unlicensed influencers, including the impact of licensed mental health professionals.Our listener voicemail is from a listener who herself has been diagnosed with BPD – and how she’s struggling with her adult child not being in her life.Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode. Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!Our Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcribe →496 SelfWork: Restorative Justice: Marlee Liss on Rape and Her Path to Healing
May 100:46:53Tap to summarize(Note: We are focusing on sexual assault in this episode of SelfWork. If you have a history of sexual assault, please listen with care.)Today we're going to introduce you to the concept of restorative justice. Our guest today is Marlee Liss. You may not have heard of her, unless you closely follow what's happening in the justice system concerning sexual assault.But her voice is a strong one. As difficult and life-changing as her rape was for her, she describes the process of restorative justice as being equally healing and satisfying.Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!Our Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcribe →495 SelfWork: Grit: What It Takes to Fight Chronic Mental Illness
Apr 2400:26:41Tap to summarizeGrit. What is it? How do you develop it? And how is it important for battling mental illness? And what role does it play in both outer success and inner victory?These are the questions we're going to answer today on SelfWork.Here's leading author Angela Duckworth 's definition of grit, described in her Ted talk."Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint."Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go. Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode. Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!Our Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcribe →494 SelfWork: Masterclass: Befriending Your Inner Critic with Dr. Tara Cousineau
Apr 1700:42:09Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Dr. Margaret talks with Dr. Tara Cousineau about perfectionism and "befriending your inner critic."My guest today, Dr. Tara Cousineau, is an expert on perfectionism's treatment. She's a clinical psychologist, as well as a yogi and mom. And she's a staff psychologist at Harvard's Counseling and Mental Health Services. There are certainly a lot of perfectionists there. She's written a book, which I read cover to cover -The Perfectionist’s Dilemma: Learn the Art of Self-Compassion and Become a Happy Achiever. And it's wonderful.Order my new The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go. Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!Our Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcribe →493 SelfWork: Self-Love Empowers You and Leads to Self-Agency
Apr 1000:22:07Tap to summarizeToday we're focusing on finding emotional stability and calm through self-love. Not narcissism – not grandiosity or some kind of over-the-top shouting to the world how great you are. But what exactly self-love is and what it can lead to is our focus. That's self-agency - the ability to act and to feel empowered to do so. Even though we live in a world that repeatedly suggests you can’t be happy or feel valuable if you don’t have a partner, or followers, or live in a certain neighborhood or wear certain clothes or be thin – or countless other things that we’re supposed to chase to prove our worth – if you love yourself – that’s internal. That’s not dependent on anyone or anything but you.Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.Publishes April 1st! Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode. Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!Our Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcribe →492 SelfWork: Revisiting Perfectly Hidden Depression
Apr 300:23:09Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Dr. Margaret gives her best advice about enmeshment, Anne Burrell’s suicide, and perfectly hidden depression to those that have reached out to her in the past few months.This episode is kind of a grab bag; one comment from a woman who loved Anne Burrell (as a response to a piece I wrote about her), another from a young man in an arranged marriage whose mother is harsh and who he feels very controlled by.Then I’m also bringing in some comments from the TEDx on perfectly hidden depression – they’re so relatable and hit to the core of the message.And... my new workbook was published on April 1st and is now available to you! If your drive is driving you, if you have to keep people from sensing that you may struggle, if you're someone who keeps tight emotional control always... this workbook may be for you!By the way... Send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!Our Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcribe →491 SelfWork: Friendships: How To Create and Keep Solid Connections
Mar 2800:40:58Tap to summarizeFriendships are vital for your sense of well-being.When you know that you have people that you can count on to be there for you when you need them, who you feel solidly connected to. that knowledge can offer a kind of grounding that's unshakeable.Dr. Margaret invites Marisa Franco to SelfWork to discuss how she discovered this for herself, how friendships have provided her with steady caring and acceptance, and how she uses the science of attachment to help you understand how to create and keep friendships in your life.Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.Publishes April 1st! Pre-orders matter! Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode. Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!Our Sponsors:* Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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