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Foreign.
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Hey, guys, and welcome back to the Social Hour podcast, a podcast for Sewists by Sewists. I'm your host, Bethany.
A
And I'm your host, Audra. And we're starting the new year a little spicy. We got. We're a little pokey, this first official episode of 2026, but we're here for it. It's going to be a great topic to. Today, we are going to talk about the lies we tell ourselves about being a real Air quotes. Seist. Real.
B
Seist.
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Real.
B
What does that even mean? We're gonna find out.
A
Yeah, it's like it's these lies we tell ourselves about not measuring up to others. This goes back into comparison trap. We keep touching on this because this is a really important topic.
B
It's a hot topic in any creative space, to be honest, because we derive, like, our creativity and inspiration from others around us who are doing things that we want to do or are inspired to do. And so then we start to wonder, am I copying someone? Am I. Am I living up to that? I can't do it as well. Like, it gets into this whole comparison trap that we've talked about so many times, but that just kind of comes with the nature of a creative space. And so we're gonna find our confidence within ourselves today and break some of those stereotypes that I feel like we find a lot of in this industry and. And define it for ourselves and be very confident and stand firm in who we are as sewists, sewers, quilters, bag makers, crafters, whatever you want to call yourself. There is endless possibilities. Come as you are, be who you are, and maybe, maybe kind of confirm within yourself where you stand in this space and stand with confidence. So that's kind of what today is all about.
A
Yeah. And the reality is, is these rules, again, in air quotes, they're all made up. They don't matter. They're all made up. So we're going to debunk some of these today, and we're going to kick off with our icebreaker. Our icebreaker question today is, what was the first thing that made you feel like a real soloist or the first thing that made you feel like you weren't?
B
Well, I. I posted a reel in December, so actually not that long ago. And I always revert back to my younger self and the moment that I was like, yeah, yeah, this is what I want to do. This is what I want to spend my time on, my energy. This is. Those are the skills I want to grow. And that was when I was a little Girl. And I had made a complete outfit. Buttons and plackets and embroidery and applique and pockets and elastic waistbands and collars and all the whole nine yards in this outfit. Like, I learned how to do a lot of different types of sewing in this one outfit. It was kind of like a catch. All of everything in this course, this class that I took, I was like the only child in this class, and I did it. And at the end, we had, like, a little fashion show. And to see my outfit walk down a Runway on someone else was kind of like an aha moment for me. And I mean, I was like nine years old. I was just like, wow, that's so cool, right? Like, I made that. Someone else is rocking it. I get to see it, like, in action, and people are clapping for it and cheering for it, and they had no idea that a kid made that, like. And so in that reel, it's actually a picture of me wearing it at the end of the video because it's the reason I continue to do what I do, because I keep reminding myself of that little girl and how proud she would. I would hopefully, hopefully think she would be of me today. But that was my moment when I was like, yeah, no, this is. This is going to be my life all consuming. There's been times throughout my life where I've taken some breaks and had other things I needed to focus on. So sewing at different points has taken a back burner to other things, but I keep coming back to it, and obviously now I'm very much back into it. So I think for me, that was kind of my aha moment of like, this is. This is my jam, and I'm gonna make it my whole personality. So. And I think I've done that. And I still have that outfit, by the way. I hang it in my closet. I love it so much. I'll post a picture. If you didn't see that reel, I'll post the picture that's at the end of that reel in our Facebook group, the Social Sewist. Because, honestly, it's not a cute outfit. It's like a baseball tee with elastic waist shorts, and it's patriotic, like flag fabric and everything, but it definitely screams, like, early 90s, right? But it's just something that I'm like, wow, I. I did all of that at that such a young age. And that's just really cool because there's people that I know that are just learning how to do some of the techniques that I did at 9 years old. And I'm really proud of that. Like, I think you can learn at any point, but like, I'm really proud of what I did. I'm proud of what I do now, but I'm really proud of what I did when I was nine.
A
Yeah, you absolutely should be.
B
Yeah.
A
My real soloist moment was not at nine.
B
Okay.
A
I mean, I think the first time I felt like a real sewist was the first time I made something without a pattern. Like I knew what I wanted to do and I figured out how to make it happen. It was a couple years ago, maybe like three years ago. I had this Under Armour zip up sweatshirt that the zipper had broken on. But I loved like the material and had like a big collar, which I know you love. Bethany. My big collars. It had a big collar.
B
It was super cozy.
A
I liked all these aspects of it, but the zipper was broken and I couldn't fix the zipper. In hindsight, I probably could have. But anyway, it took the arms off of it. I took the collar off of it. I took the like kangaroo pocket off of it. I took the bottom, like the bottom hem off of it. I don't know. Bottom.
B
The waistband. Waistband.
A
Thank you. And then I created a whole new body for it and reattached the arms and put in a new zipper and attached the collar. I had no measurements, I had no pattern, but I knew what I wanted to do and I just figured it out and I made it happen. And I remember thinking like, holy crap, I actually know what I'm doing.
B
I think it's that moment when you take some skills that you've learned and practice and then apply it to something without instructions. Right? Like, it's like I figured this out on my own because you have been practicing and building and learning for, you know, any length of time and you've taken what you've learned and applied it without instruction, with, without guidance, without step outs and those kind of things. And I think that that's very much an aha moment for a lot of people is to say like, wow, like I just took everything I learned and applied it in a new way in a very free form way.
A
And it could be a handful of other situations where I think it's when you realize you've applied your knowledge. It's that light bulb of like, oh, wait, I can actually do this. And I remember there's been times where may they're troubleshooting machines and I have to troubleshoot everything I can think of. And then you figure it out. You're like, wait, I actually knew how to troubleshoot that whole problem. So I think one of those things is we perceive being a real sewist as someone who can do everything flawlessly. That's not sort of the case. A real sewist is someone who can apply their knowledge that they've learned and it may or may not be successful, but that really doesn't matter. It's the fact that you're applying what you've learned. So that's where we're going to start with. Where does the idea of an quote unquote real sewist come from? And really, sewing comes from function and skill. That's really what it's about. It's about function and skill and knowledge and everything you've learned. And now what we're doing, especially in the world of social media, is it's about visibility and aesthetics and how it looks. It's not about what you've learned. It's about how many likes it gets, how pretty it looks on an Instagram feed or in a YouTube video, or what your friends say at your quilt guild. It's about the response more than the actual act of making and doing.
B
Yeah, and that's really sad that people get caught in that trap of comparison or justifying their skills because their quilt got accepted into an expo.
A
Right.
B
Or justifying their skills because that video got a lot of views or whatever. Like, y'. All, like, that's not. It's not cool. Like, that's not a cool way of thinking. It's taking away from what you've done in such drastic ways. I. This is why I've never entered anything into a competition. Not that I don't have things I could. I feel very confident that I have things that I've created that I could enter into competitions. I don't need that justification from strangers on my work. I'm really proud of it. And I share it not with the intention of getting likes and follows and accolades of comments I share because I hope it inspires someone else to try something new or they learn something from it. The moment you can release that weight of always checking your socials for comments and notifications, it's very freeing because then you're creating for fun and for purpose and not for likes and follows. So, yeah, we'll talk about more of this in a minute. But I just feel like, honestly, a lot of insecurity that people have about their creativity and their art and their craft and their sewing and their quilting. It stems from social media, and social media has truly weaponized it in a In a way that's taken away from the beauty that it is. I honestly find beauty in some of the imperfections of the things that people have created. Created. I think it's created a new way of doing something that I hadn't thought of before. And I'm like, well, actually, that's really cool. I actually like how that looks. I want to add that to my next project. Like, and you may find it, like, well, it's not perfect. It looks great to me. Like, to each their own. I have the beholder. Right. So don't allow social media and the stereotypes and the rules of we, as we've said, air quotes here, to weaponize and combine your comparison of yourself and what you've created to what other people have done or are doing. You have to find your own voice and you have to stand very firm and confident in that. And that's what people are attracted to. Like, the reason people follow some of these other accounts that you were inspired by isn't because their quilt's perfect or any or anything like that. It's because they just keep showing up and being themselves. And you're. When you can confidently be yourself, it comes across in your work, and then it's just easier to share it because you're like, I don't care what other sink. I like what I see in myself. I just. I just really wish people would learn to take a step back from social media, acknowledge that it's not that serious, and to stop putting so much weight on it.
A
Yeah, there are going to be some people who disagree with what I'm about to say, and we're just going to have to agree to disagree. The reality is, if you were making to be praised, to be seen, or for someone else to share it, you've already lost control of your creativity.
B
Yeah.
A
And people might disagree with me on that because I know that there are people who create just for quilt shows and they might feel differently. But my feeling personally is that you've now put a price tag, whether, whether a dollar price tag or an emotional price tag, on your creativity because you are doing X to gain Y. You are making this to get this response. And that's not.
B
There's nothing wrong with submitting.
A
Yeah, but you've. You're now not in control. You're the control now is the response to your work. It's not you.
B
Right. And to say that I agree with you. I. I do feel that there's nothing wrong with obviously submitting quilts into shows and being competitions and judging and all of that, But I think you need to make sure that you're doing it for the right reasons. Remember in our last episode when we were talking about goals and setting goals with intention and purpose, and if your why behind your goal isn't solid into a driving factor for you, then that goal will never come to fruition. And it's kind of the same here. It's like if the why you're doing it isn't rooted in who you are as a person and what you are trying to express through your creativity, then it's never going to come across. Right. It's. It's always going to be done with the wrong intentions. So just be grounded in your why. And maybe that's kind of what we're trying to define with real sewist. Right? Is what is the why? What is the driving factor? Is it. Is it because you want to make for your kids great? You know, is it because you learned from your grandmother awesome. And you want to carry on that tradition? Great. As long as it's something that's giving you meaning and purpose in your creativity, then that's awesome. Does it always have to stay? Can it come and go? Absolutely. Like there, like I said before, there are seasons when it can come and go. You can come back to it whenever you want. That's what's so great about art and creativity and sewing is it's always ready for you when you're ready for it. And so just making sure that you understand why you're doing it, why you're sitting down at the machine, why you're investing in the fabric, why you're spending time doing this hobby, craft, business, whatever it may be, it has to be rooted with a purpose. And it can be a couple of reasons, but just make sure you are. If someone were to say, audra, why do you sew? And you could say, because it brings me joy and I love to express myself, or whatever it may be that you could confidently answer that question. If you can only answer that question with, well, I do it because I just want to get a bunch of followers or I just want to win competitions or whatever. And that could be your why. Maybe, But I just find that really hard to be a justification of that could keep going. Because that's not rooted in, like, purpose.
A
It's a shallowly rooted why. Yeah, because if your why is I want to be praised. If your why is I want to make Judy at the quilt guild jealous. Like, that's.
B
That.
A
That is a fairly shallow why. You really got to go a little Deeper on why you're investing your time and your money and your resources. So let's talk about lie number one. Line number one is I need better tools to be a real sewist.
B
Yeah, this is a big one. I feel like a lot of people feel pressure by following people who they look up to, aspire to, admire, learn from that. They have to have the exact same tools that they have. And I'll be the first one to. When someone DMs me and I get these DMs a lot. You know, which sewing machine should I get? And I always start with the first question. What do you. What do you need it to do? And then what is your budget? And some people don't want to talk about that. But usually every time I've asked, people have told me what their budget is and I'm like, okay, let's find your options for your budget. Because your budget can look very different than the person you're following's budget or how they obtained that machine. Maybe they have a brand deal and they didn't pay for that machine. Like you would have to like. There's ways to like find the right machine for where you're at in your current phase. You do not have to have the exact same thing that everybody that else has to make that bag or to make that quilt. There's so many options out there. There's some amazing options. So just work with what you have. A lot of people are working with hand me downs or things that they were gifted. That's how I started. I ran a business off of a Costco sewing machine. Like 200 Costco sewing machine. So there's nothing to say that you can't create with a 200 machine or a twenty thousand dollar machine. A stitch is a stitch.
A
Well. And kid, I feel like I'm really the pokey one in this episode. I'm feeling like I'm a little feisty.
B
Don't do it.
A
I'm sorry. Never the reality. Here's my analogy. I feel like, like we have a lot of analogies coming out of me the last couple episodes.
B
I'm here for it.
A
Better tools do not create skill.
B
No.
A
They refine your skills.
B
Yeah.
A
So you can have 200 off the shelf brother, which was the first machine I bought after I was sewing on my grandma's Singer.
B
Same, same.
A
Or you can have a $25,000 top of the line insert machine here.
B
Yeah.
A
The reality is, is you could have two sewists on those two different machines. And the $200 Brother Sewist could outpace the $25,000 top of the line sewist. Because here's, here's my analogy for you. Me driving a Lamborghini does not make me a sports car driver. No, like it doesn't make me a race car driver. I could have a Lamborghini and drive like a crap. Having a really nice top of the line expensive car doesn't make me a better driver. Having a top of the line sewing machine doesn't make you a better sewist. If you don't have the skills, you don't have the skills. And that is what you need to focus your time and energy in on and. Sorry, I'm gonna keep going.
B
No, you're good.
A
Sometimes constraint is where you actually build your skills. Sometimes being resourceful is where our skills actually come from. It's the, I'm in the kitchen, I've got these five ingredients. What am I gonna make? Or I wanna make a shirt and I have this much yardage and these needles. How am I gonna do it? Like sometimes when you take away all the bells and whistles, we actually do better work. Because you refine your focus.
B
Yeah, no, you're true. It's true. Okay, so think of it this way. I have a top of the line machine like you're talking about and I have an entry level machine and I use both of them. And you know what, the stitches that I use the most on both of those, A straight stitch. They both do a straight stitch and I use them all the time. I will say, like, there's definitely some bells and whistles that I really like on my top of the line, but I have some of those on my entry level machine too.
A
If you don't know how to use the bells and whistles, then the bells and whistles do you no good.
B
These entry level machines are going to require you, especially if you have a mechanical machine. I think once you get into any computerized machine, whether it's entry level or top of the line, every time you bump up in features, the concept is to make the process easier, more efficient, take out some of the guesswork, problem solve, make the process more enjoyable of sewing and, and not run into so many hiccups, but having never run into hiccups, that's where you're saying like, I'm not learning. So like I had someone at our sewing club who had a mechanical singer heavy duty machine with her and she's like, I can't get the feed dogs to come up. I can't get the feed dogs to come up. Well, like most machines, we kind of know why it kind of reverts on and automatically comes back up. And I was looking at it and I said, oh, it's because you had your feed dogs down to attach a button. So you also had your stitch length down to zero. So if your stitch length is down to zero, then your feed dogs aren't going to come back up because there's no stitch length for it to feed through. So it still thinks you're trying to tack something down. So you have to turn that knob. But there's no computer to tell her that she's got to figure that out. And so it took me kind of walking her through that and understanding that to say, you, you really are in control of this machine. It will only do what you tell it to do. Whereas a computerized machine has defaults and resets and those kind of things that helps us out. So both are great. But like again, to your point, like she learned something that day that she would never have even encountered had she never had a mechanical machine. So I think there is like a rite of passage in a way of having a mechanical machine experiencing those and learning the ins and outs of setting stitches and tensions manually so that we can really appreciate those bells and whistles when we do upgrade. But again, you don't have to have the bells and whistles to be able to do the same thing that you can do on a mechanical machine.
A
If you don't trust yourself because you've developed the knowledge and the skills. A new tool is not going to fix that. A new toy is not going to fix that. It really comes down to like you kind of use those new toys, the new rotary cutter, the new cutting mat, the new notion, the new machine is almost like a shift shield to say like, well that didn't work because blah blah, blah blah blah. When the reality is is maybe it didn't work because there's just something you need to focus in on a little bit more. It's not the tool. That being said, just cuz it didn't work out doesn't mean it was bad. No, back to Bethany's point earlier, like sometimes some of my most fun projects are ones I messed up on because either I learned it would turned out improvised than I expected, I improvised. So just because it met you messed up doesn't make you not a real source, just means you learned and that's what this is all about.
B
Well, and I also sometimes think that even if we're not talking about sewing machines, but like just oh, there's a new notion that someone got that they're selling or they're promoting an Amazon link to or whatever it may be. Right. I. I think we've all fallen to those gimmicks from time to time, and they're not all gimmicks.
A
Don't.
B
Don't get me wrong. And I think it depends on the person, but I can tell you I have bought some of these tools and notions to help things be easier. And I still reach for the safety pin to do my tube turns. Okay. Like, absolutely. I just feel like if you got a method that works for you sometimes, just stick with the tried and true. The MacGyver way is sometimes the easier way than the tool that I have to learn. I still manually put on my zipper pulls because every time I get out that zipper jig, I have to watch a video on how to use it because I cannot remember.
A
I do love my zipper jig, but I.
B
And I have them and once I watch it and I do it a couple times, it's great. But, like, I don't do it enough. And so I'm like, you know what? Just do this manually and be done in two seconds. And so that's what I end up doing because I have built a skill to do it without the extra additives. That way, if I'm somewhere where I don't have that tool that I can still do what I need to do. So I don't know. I just think you sometimes the hands on bare minimum can teach you more than all the bells and whistles. Right? Yeah.
A
And I think our final question before we go into lie number two is what can you master with what you have right now?
B
Oh, yeah.
A
What can you improve without buying anything? Like, is it putting in a buttonhole? Is it lining up your points better? Like, what can you improve on without buying anything?
B
I mean, your machine comes a lot. Right. And nine times out of 10, you've not even used all the feet that came with your machine. So maybe just start there. You know, we talked about that as part of, like, your goals for next year. Maybe that is one of your goals, is to just learn all the different accessories and what they do that came with your machine. Maybe at some point you just want to take every single decorative stitch on your machine for a test drive.
A
Yeah.
B
Or a scrap piece of fabric.
A
Yeah.
B
You might find a new favorite stitch.
A
So lie number two.
B
Yes.
A
Is for those who sell. So this is really going to be Bethany's.
B
I don't know.
A
Is I can't sell unless it's perfect. And this one, let's really unpack. What that statement is, is I can't sell it unless it's perfect, and I'm guilty of it. People have asked me to make stuff, and I'm like, nope. And usually my reasons are exactly what I'm about to say. Fear of judgment, thinking that even though it's handmade, it has to be flawless. And waiting until I feel ready. Air quote, ready. And so I am totally guilty of this. I sell stuff in some local boutiques I haven't done in a year. You want to know why? Probably for all these reasons, unknowingly for these reasons. But it's there. If I'm honest with. Honest with myself, it is totally there. I get nervous making stuff and selling it because I'm worried how it's going to be judged. I feel like it's got to be perfect and like, oh, I don't have time. I'm not ready.
B
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
A
There's always an excuse. Oh, Bethany, get on your soapbox and tell us why this is junk.
B
Well, I'm gonna just say something that's probably gonna upset some people.
A
We're like, it's fine. We're like, we're sorry, guys. We are kicking off the year with a little 2026.
B
Guys, I hope.
A
I hope you like this.
B
I am gonna say this, and I'm gonna say this in the most direct but caring way possible. If you feel like any of these things, you shouldn't be getting into a business where you're making handmade and selling handmade. If that is your objective and these things are stopping you, it is not for you. Your skin is not thick enough. You shouldn't be doing it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Because it takes a thick skin, okay? It takes a thick skin to stand there in a booth for 10 hours a day in the rain and snow and sleet and dead of summer and sweating your butt off to be hustling and selling your handmade goods. It is not easy. It is not always fun. It is not glamorous. But you can make some good money doing it. But you gotta have a thick skin. I could not tell you how many people have come into my booth, looked at my dog bandanas and said, I could have made that. I could make that to my face. Cool. Go make one. That's literally my response to them. Cool. If you can't say that back to them, then you shouldn't be doing. If you can't Handle someone coming in and making comments, either quietly, not so quietly, to their friend in your booth and they think that you don't hear them, or directly to your face, then you probably shouldn't do it. It is not for everybody. If you've never worked retail, you definitely shouldn't do it. I feel like that has prepared me for a lot of what I heard. And the only difference is when I worked retail, it wasn't my goods, personal goods. I didn't have a personal investment in what people thought of the things in the store I was working in. But, like, when it's your booth, those are your things that you've spent a lot of time and money and effort on, and your family's probably helped you, and your family's probably in the booth helping you. I mean, I've watched my mom, like, snap back at some people because she's defending me because she knows how much hard work I put into it. And they came into my booth for five seconds and had opinions. You can't take it personally. You cannot.
A
I think the correct term for today's teenagers is clap back.
B
And you've got to be confident that you have to accept that what you make is not going to be for everybody. Honestly, I think there were more dogs that liked my bandanas than the humans that own those dogs. And that's fine because I won them over with dog treats and a water bowl and cute little trinkets and adorable bandanas. And their dog was happy, so they bought it. So I just want to say, like, hey, if you're running into these things where you're saying I'm. My product's not good enough, I can tell you right now, I have made bandanas, and mine were snap on, and I would go to snap it, and all of a sudden one of the snaps would pop off, and I'm like, oh, well, guess I didn't tighten that one well enough. Like, it happens. I'm human. I make every single one by hand. I made my own own patterns. I have my own sizing. Like, it is what it is, but I always made it right. Like, it's handmade. And I think you just. You're going to run into people that are going to have opinions. There's. That's inevitable. We see it everywhere. Okay. It's just a lot harder when it's to your face about things that you've spent countless hours on. So that's my other feedback to you is if you are going into this wanting to start a business, you've got to Understand, like, if I'm defining my business as pet bandanas like I did, and I had some other accessories like bows and bow ties and other like plushie toys and other things, but my core product was my bandanas. And that's what people came to me for. You have to accept the fact that you're going to be making a lot of the same thing over and over and over again. And I will say my biggest takeaway from the four and a half years I had that business and it was quite successful was the fact that I am not the kind of person that can make the same thing over and over and over again. It really got hard to keep up with it because I really lost my motivation to come into my sewing room. I wanted to do anything, but. And when that came up, I was like, I gotta take a step back. And now when I sew, people are always like, oh, are you gonna sell that? I'm like, nope, I'm gonna make it once and that's it. Maybe twice. If, if you see me make something more than once, you know, it was good. And that's just kind of where I'm at. I'm like, no, I'd rather teach people and let them make it as many times as you want, you know? One of my most popular videos on my YouTube channel has nothing to do with sewing. It's actually a hand crochet chunky blanket. And every winter it pops back up and takes off again. I think it's got like half a million views on YouTube, which is awesome. And I made that blanket twice. I made it once. I figured it out and then I made it a second time and recorded myself. And I put it on the, on the Internet. Three years ago. What, four years ago. I mean, it's ridiculous on. That video is still blowing up. And I still have people messaging me pictures of their blankets that they're making. And now they're selling their blankets and they're. And they have found their niche. They have found their thing that they love to do over and over and over again. And I am so happy for them. I have not made another blanket since I made that video. So when people come and ask me go, how many rows are in your blanket? I'm like, I don't know. Like I measured it. I didn't count the loops. Like, I just did it once and now or twice and now I'm good to go. So you've got to be in the mindset to make something a bunch of times or have a blanket enough statement of what Your brand is so you can pivot and also understand that things come and go, trends come and go. So, like, for example, I had a lot of friends get into sublimation and doing the sublimated cups and the sublimated shirts, and after a while, we didn't need any more cups and sublimated shirts. And so now they're pivoting into doing other things. So you just be aware that, like, you may need to pivot your crafty business and it's okay if your interests change too. It can be a season or it can be a long term thing. But yeah, if. If you are questioning your ability and holding yourself back from getting started, it's probably not for you. And just enjoy creating for yourself and for a few friends or family members and leave it at that.
A
And I would like to go back to the whole topic of this episode of the Lies We Tell Ourselves about being a real seist. If you make thing something only once, that is perfectly okay. If you make something 50 times, that is perfectly okay. Neither one of those things put you in a category of real or unreal as a seist.
B
So I think you'll find out a lot about yourself either way, though. I've done both. I have made probably 50,000 dog bandanas and I'm not exaggerating. And I've made 50,000 other types of sewing projects. Yep. You know, I like to continue to challenge myself. I don't like to get comfortable, I like to be uncomfortable. But if you find sewing comforting and doing that kind of repetition to kind of be a disconnect from the chaos of whatever else is going on in your world, then do that, like have that repetitive motion of making the.
A
Yeah.
B
And it doesn't even have to be monotonous to you. It would be to me, but that
A
doesn't make active meditation.
B
Exactly. For me, the challenge is my purpose and why. There's other things I do that are very monotonous that have nothing to do with sewing that I find as my release. So it's all about how you approach it. But there's no right or wrong to Audra's point.
A
All right, let's go to lie number three. Lie number three. If it's not Instagram worthy, it doesn't count.
B
I want to call bs.
A
We're both like, we got feelings.
B
Yeah. Well, what is Instagram worthy and who defines that? Nobody. Nobody. Like, it's all silly. Like, I. I have never once thought I shouldn't post that because it's not Instagram worthy. I just don't care. Maybe I should care more, but I just don't. I am probably the polar opposite of a lot of people is I just don't have any cares left.
A
You are the exception. And that's why we're talking about this is because there's a lot of people who feel that validates them.
B
Yeah.
A
In their existence as a creator of whatever their creative outlet is. We're talking about sewing, but it could be anything. And I think the real key is, is to understand. And I have come a long way on this in the last couple of years because there was. There was definitely a time where I would create and then like, create, post, create, post, create, post, create, post. And it got to a rhythm where I was creating solely for posting. The praise, the likes, all those things that we talked about in line number one. And now I've gotten to a point, there's a lot that I make that nobody ever sees same.
B
Honestly, I'll go a week and I'm like, oh, crap, I haven't posted any. Now I show up in my stories. I like hanging out my stories. But, like, posting, I'm like, I got to edit something into a video, and it takes the fun out of it.
A
And I think some of the keys here to realize are it's okay to create and post or create for posting, but also know it's perfectly okay to
B
create because it's not your soul. Share. Yeah.
A
Or not share. Yeah. No one on the Internet owes you anything, and you don't owe them anything. So if you're like, I'm gonna sit here all day and I'm just gonna sew, and no one's gonna know what I'm working on, and I'm not gonna talk to anybody about it. I might share when it's done, but we'll see how I feel. And that is perfectly okay. And if something happens and you're like, wow, that crashed and burned hard happens. Real, you can choose to post that and be like, hey, this crashed and burned hard. Moving on to the next project. Or you just go like, okay, we're not going to post that. We're just going to move on.
B
I have found that the pressure of needing to post has stalled my creativity and my productivity. I probably could have made 10 times what I've made had I not had the pressure to fill the need to turn the camera on. I. If you feel like you have to post every single day to grow on Instagram, you know, if you're running a business, like, I get it, like, that's a whole different ball game. But if you're just doing it for social things and connecting activity, like, and to grow a social account for no other purpose other than to just share and grow and have more followers, then just know that you don't have to post every day, that you can sit down and make an entire project that nobody will ever see or know about. And that project can be just as good as anything else you've ever posted. And you owe no one, like Audra said, anything. I do not owe anybody a social post of what I've done today or this week or what I made for the holidays or what I made for gifts or anything. But I can choose to post it and I can choose not to. I am the one that sets the permission. Nobody else. Nobody else. None of these other accounts that are telling you how to grow your Instagram. You got to post every day. You got to make a reel every day. You got to put this in your stories every day. Here's the. Here's the trending things to do. And that's great for certain things, and I think it's great if you're running a business promoting products, those kind of things, and there's a time and a place. But if you are like most people on social media, just posting to share, it's got to be posting to share because you're proud of it, not because you want anything from that post in return. The. The return is always the. Already the fact that you created that is that you're just saying, like, hey, look, it's. It's like. It's like when your kid comes home with a gray on their test, and you put it on the fridge. Okay, you came home, made something, and you just wanted to take a picture of it or a video of it and post it. Because you just want to say, like, here's my public fridge of my accomplishments, you know, and whatever you think of it, that's great, but I'm really proud of it, so I wanted to share it. Your pride in it is all that matters. That's it.
A
It really is. And when this episode has been recording, I've definitely dialed back. And you nailed it, Bethany. It was the amount of things, things I could have made if I didn't care if I was recording it or not, would exponentially grow. And I have been definitely dialing back on my posting because I just want to make. Yeah, I just want to make stuff and, like, make it. I may or may not share it.
B
You can only post it after if you really want to.
A
And, like, you don't have to post
B
the whole process of making it, though.
A
No, I do not. And it does not make me any less of a real sewist if no one sees it. Like, if, if, if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does it still make a sound like,
B
yeah, farts in the woods?
A
Does, you know, like, if, if I'm sewing and no one knows I sewed, am I still a real sewist?
B
Honestly. Honestly, it's the best sewing time. It is the best sewing time.
A
I work and I get so much more done. And, and that's really what we want you to take away from this, is that you're creating for yourself. And if you create and you don't share it, that doesn't make you any less of a sewist. If you create and it turns out badly, but you still post it, that doesn't make you any less of a sewist. Ultimately, the external response, again, going back to lie number one, the external response does not change who you are as a sewist in your skills or any one of those things. And you can now. Yeah, no, you're the one who defines it. And so now we're going to go into the key takeaways here of what we think is actually a real sewist. So.
B
And can I just preface this by saying, I know I'm like sitting here saying, like, you don't need to do this, you don't do that, or this, this shouldn't matter, and all those kind of things, but I get it because I have been there. Oh, we've all been. And I still struggle with those things. And I want to give you a real time example. Same. I. I got this long arm, right? And it's sitting right here in front of me. And have I, you know, this was recorded before Christmas. I'm going to be very transparent. So I've only had it up for a little bit, but the thing stopping me from loading it and doing it is because it's all new. And every time I have to, like, just do wind a bobbin, I have to learn how to use a bobbin winder. That's a beast of a bobbin winder. Like, everything feels hard and that to me is slowing me down. And I also have this pressure with being a Janome maker to film this process. And I'm like, I gotta film it, but I gotta be in the right mindset to, like, watch the videos and learn how to do it myself and then film it and It. It creates a lot of stress and pressure, and it's stopping me, and it's creating roadblocks and. And it's making it harder than it really has to be. And, you know, what I can control in that situation is not filming it. I have to at some point, but I don't have to film it my first time. I don't have to film it my second time. I can just jump in and learn and then talk about it and film it later. Like, I don't have to have every moment of this experience be filmed. But I kept putting this pressure on myself that I needed to. And so now I'm like, screw it. I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna turn it on. I'm gonna play. I'm gonna figure it out. Because the more I learn and play, the more I can share what I've learned. But if I don't just start. So I just share all of that. To say, like, I also struggle with this. We all struggle with this at different phases. I feel an immense amount of pressure that I'm putting on myself to go down this path. But this is what I signed up for. And so this is something that I'm finding this balance within myself to tackle this new challenge. Because keep in mind, I've been sewing since I was 5, and sewing doesn't challenge me as much as it used to because I've done so many different types of sewing. So me taking on this long arming thing, that was because I needed a new challenge and I wanted a challenge, and I wanted to do this. I felt this calling. I manifested this truly, if you've been around for the last six months, you know, I truly manifested this into. Into fruition. So I'm really proud of that. I'm really excited about it. But now that I have this beast of a machine sitting in front of me, it's not that I'm scared to play with it. It's I'm. I'm scared to film every process. And what does that look like? And how is that going to go? And it's going to just be harder than any other sewing I've had to, like, tackle. And I'm doing it all by myself. One thing I'd kind of maybe have taken for granted in the past is I've had opportunities with my employers in the past to have been taught by some amazing professional sewists over the years and have gone to school for sewing and fashion. And so I've been taught how to sew by professionals my entire life. And now I'm teaching myself how to do something brand new. And I don't have someone here helping me to lean on. And I learn by hands on and in person. So this has become a big, bigger challenge for me than I think I originally anticipated. So full transparency, it's not always easy. It's not always supposed to be easy, but when we are approaching the challenges and finding ways to overcome it, and I'm connecting with people that are experts in these areas to help me, then asking for help, I think that's where we grow and learn, especially seist. So it's the constant investment of your time and your energy and your brain power is what, to me makes you a seist. But let's talk about some other things that define being a seas. Like Audra was saying, because I just had to share. Like, I know this whole time I've been going, well, don't worry about that, don't focus on this, don't do that. But that's because I've learned those life lessons. But I also still have new life lessons. I'm learning and balance myself.
A
I mean, I'm in the same boat right now, too. And I'll get to that in a second. But, like, we come to this episode truly with you coming into the new year, we want you to take away the judgment guardrails of your sewing. And that's really going to hold you back. That's just going to hold you back. And so, like, I'm going through the same thing with my Bernina machine. Embroidery is for the holidays. I was like. I was embroidering like mad. And I didn't document any of it. I didn't record anything I made. I didn't share it in my stories. I didn't share it in real. I didn't share in a post like, oh, sorry. I did share a little.
B
I did share one little reel.
A
I did share one little reel, but it was after it was done.
B
Yeah.
A
Because I just. I wanted to be present in the moment and learning and I didn't want the pressure of constantly recording this thing.
B
It's the noise of post it, film it, post it, film it.
A
I mean, in some ways, I almost feel a little bit like a recovering addiction because for, like the last couple years, I've been like, film, film, film, film, film, film. And now I'm like, you don't have to film it. And I'm like, talking to myself like, you don't have to film this. And so, like, it was fun after the fact. I was like, look what I finished, but I didn't have to go, okay, I'm doing this step and then I'm gonna do this step and then what music am I gonna put with it? And da da da. And there are so many times where you make stuff or make a reel or a project and you put it out there and like, you think it's gonna like totally go nuts and everyone's gonna be obsessed and it falls flat and.
B
And then you do a video of you singing in a kitchen. When it goes viral. And it goes viral. It has nothing to do with sewing.
A
Yeah. And you have to. It does. It weighs on you. Like, honestly, like, there have been times I've spent like an hour or more editing this reel. I think it's freaking amazing. I think this project's incredible. I think it's totally gonna pop off. And then it's crickets and you shouldn't take it in, but you totally do. So the reality is, is we struggle with these same things too. Please know that when we say this, it's because we want to improve, but we also want you to take these guardrails off too.
B
This is a group accountability session.
A
We're, we're. This is group therapy. So let's talk about so a real stoist. Some of the things that we put on our list of we in America quoting. If you're watching real sewist is someone who makes regularly. And that doesn't mean it's a big project. It could be an hour long project. But you are constantly making and trying and learning. I noticed we say make regularly. We didn't necessarily say so regularly. We said make regularly. Flex that creative muscle in whatever way you need to. You learn with intention. You're trying to grow your skills.
B
Is that what I'm feeling with this long arm?
A
Yeah, it's what, it's what we're all doing. We're learning and we're growing and we're intentionally focusing in. You finish the things that might not be perfect. We're not saying you gotta finish this massive whip that's like hanging out there. But if you start a project and you gotta pull out the seam ripper, you don't throw it in the garbage. You use as a learning experience. Like, okay, we're pulling out the seam ripper and here's why. And I'm going to learn from it. And this is the most important thing in, in our opinion. I'm gonna speak for Bethany. She's. Whether she likes it or not is you keep going without permission. You make because you love it. You make because. I'll use my quote that I say all the time. It sets your soul on fire. And you make in the way that fulfills you in that moment. It might be cross stitch, it might be embroidery, it might be painting, it might be cooking, it might be baking, it might be sewing. But you're learning and you're making in a way that sets your soul on fire. Because ultimately, that creative fire is just continuing to be stoked. And it will always come back to your machine.
B
Yeah, no, for sure. And my creativity isn't just sewing. I don't just sew. If you've known me for any length of time, you know, I don't just sew. I just share sewing on my social media. I've done epoxy work. I've done woodworking. I've got a whole garden. I do. I love to bake. Don't get me started on bread. I used to paint. I originally went to school for fine art and painting. I love sculpting. I would kill to have a kiln one day and do my own pottery and have my will again. Like, I am a very creative person, but I express it in so many different ways. The only ways that you guys ever really see is my sewing. But that's because it is mostly what I spend my time doing. But I always scratch those other little itches from time to time. And I think that figuring out that with what season you're in is what's important, that you're always finding some sort of outlet of creativity. You know, I taught myself how to crochet just so I could sit in my living room with my family and watch a movie and still have a creative outlet because I cannot sit still. So I had something to do with my hands because that didn't make noise. So we could watch a movie besides sewing, you know, so, like, you have to find what works.
A
Yeah. I tried to do punches, punch needle while watching tv. I love punch needle.
B
But you.
A
That's not an outlet to do while watching television. Because then your family's like, can you stop?
B
Really? I don't find it to be too noisy. You gotta turn TV up louder. Apparently it's a round sound going. Anyways. All right, so what we talked about, like, what a real sewist is in. In our definition. And maybe you have another word or phrase that comes to mind. And if you do, we'd love for you to share it in our Facebook group, the Social Seist. I'm hoping we're giving you Some validation of you can be who you are, and you don't have to be like everybody else to have your place in this social world of sewing and the sewing community or whatever your craft may be.
A
So we have a challenge for you between now and the next episode. And what is. We want you to identify what's one lie you've been telling yourself about since sewing, and then do the opposite.
B
This is going to be hard for some of y'. All. I already know.
A
Finish something that you don't think is perfect. Make something you will never post, sell something before you feel ready, or put yourself out there. So whatever that lie is, do the opposite of it.
B
Yeah.
A
Just like, let's start 2026 and just, like, shock the system. Like, bam. Like, let's break ourselves out of those molds that we put ourselves in. We put ourselves there, not anybody else. We do.
B
You know, if you're one of the people that looks at views, likes, shares, comments on all of your posts repeatedly throughout the day that you posted it, can I challenge you to go to your settings and turn off the view count on your feed so you don't see it? Like, you have to intentionally click on it and then dive into it to see it, because that can help break that cycle of validation right now.
A
Okay.
B
Yeah.
A
Just for everybody here, I'm turning mine off.
B
Yeah.
A
Because I am that person.
B
And it takes it off your main feed. When you go to, like, your reels, then you can see it, but you're intentionally having to go seek it out. And when you do that, you're almost like, calling yourself out for. And this is a great way to break that habit. Another thing I want to share with you guys, and I think a lot of our struggles with social media is we as a society have been trained to become dependent on validation through social media, and we spend way more time on it than we need to. And so one thing that I invested in several months ago and have been sharing with some of my friends, but. And now they have them and they're loving them. It's. It's called a brick. It's a little plastic device that you can put somewhere in your home. Look, she's turned it off. She's showing it on the screen. But it's a device that you can. It's a device that basically bricks your phone. And I know a lot of phones have, like, a time setting where you can, like, say, you know, I want to restrict these apps, but you can also turn that off right there on your phone. So really, the willpower is not there. And so how do we stop ourselves? So, for example, this brick device, you get the device. It's a one time fee, like to buy the device. I have mine on my fridge. It's on the side of the fridge because I don't hang out in the kitchen. Like I'm passing through the kitchen. So I'm usually hanging out in my sewing room or I'm in bed, or I'm in the living room or I've left my house. But if I go to my app, my brick app, and I would say brick my phone, I can tell it which apps on my phone to block my games, my social apps, whatever. I can still check my text messages, I can still be reached by phone. I'm not like completely shutting off my phone or anything. I can, can still check my emails if that's something that I need to do. But like the ultimate thing is to remove the things that are creating the most noise and distraction. For me, that's social media. And it's like games and things that just kind of help me disassociate. And so I brick my phone and I go over to the device and I tap my phone to it and it shuts it down and it starts a timer and you can see how long your phone's been bricked. And you wouldn't, you would be amazed at how much you can get done in a couple hours without those distractions. And I know you can turn the notifications off, but if your phone is still having access to those apps, we have created a society of habit to where we constantly go into those apps. And so as silly as it may sound, to know that that's not available to me is very freeing. And then I hyper focus on the other things that are important, like the work that I need to be doing or my patterns that I'm writing or whatever it may be. There are people that will literally brick their phone and then go on vacation. There are people that, and that's an extreme, but there are people that will do that. There are people that like, I brick my phone and then I go sit at a coffee shop to do my computer work because I don't like sitting in front of the computer for hours on end. But I need to spend some time doing that. But if I have my access to my social apps, I'm going to sit there and do that instead. Brick my phone, I leave my house. Now, here's the thing. I can't unbrick my phone without touching my phone back to that brick. Okay, so If I am, maybe, maybe your challenge is like, I doom scroll and. And when I go to bed, I doom scroll. Then I stay up way past later than I should. Okay, if that's a habit that a lot of us have, then brick your phone, maybe you stick it on the fridge, maybe stick it somewhere else in your house, and then you go to bed. Well, now you can't play those games on your phone or scroll social media. And the only way you can is if you have to get out of bed and make a physical effort to go unbrick your phone. You're making a physical choice, not just a mental quick click thing. You're making a physical, physical choice to get back out of bed to go unbreak your phone. So that's it sounds silly, but honestly, it really does help to just be able to block the noise for a few hours every day. You would be amazed at how much more you can get done or how much more at ease and peace. And it's crazy to think that we need a device like this in society, but we have been trained as a society to be dependent on these phones, these apps, these games for quick gratification, and to disassociate from reality when things are hard. And honestly, if we would just put those things away, life would be a lot easier. It's. For me, it's a physical device. It's helping me create better habits. So if you find a dependency upon social media with checking your feed, checking your views, seeing what everybody else is doing, and using that as an excuse to not get started in your own thing, whether it's selling products or making a video or posting about your project, like, just block your phone, brick your phone. I highly recommend it. I'll put a link to it. I'm not selling these. I don't get anything for this. I just have found it extremely helpful. And if it can help someone else find control and balance over the dependency on these devices, I think it's. It can help anybody. So I'll be the first to admit that it has helped me. And one device can brick multiple devices. So you can use it with. With your kids, you can use it with your spouse. Whoever is in your home can share that device. So it's actually a really great little thing. All right, so I hope that helps anybody who needs it. But before we close out, obviously we want to do our. You love to see it for this episode. And so let's jump into that. And Audra, what is your. You love to see it. It's our first official. You Love to see it of 2026. No pressure.
A
I'm stumped. But you know what I'm going to do? My love to see it is turning off the view count, which I just did on my phone. We all know if we all watch this last episode or listen to it streamline. Focus is my intention for the year. My words of the year. And so this is really going to help because, yes, I am one of those people where I post and I check in. So I am doing all those steps to be more present with myself and my family and be more intentional with my making and not be as obsessive about making. Oh, I gotta post, I gotta post, I gotta post. So if you see less of me, it's not because I don't want to be out there. It's just because I'm trying to, like, be more intentional. And one of those things is now turning off my view count.
B
Yeah. And when you're ready to turn that back on, you can. But like, I think it's nice to remove things that are obstacles. And that's like the brick device, right? Like, you know, I find it physically helpful and gratifying because not only am I tapping it and saying I'm. I'm checking out of these things and now I'm mentally and physically committing to this dedicated time. But when I go back to touch it again to have access to check on my messages, like, those messages are still there and they can be answered. I don't have to answer in the instant that they come through. And that's my habit of, like, I feel like I need to respond right away. And that's why I have to create the divide. So, Maya, you love to see it, is that my next retreat? Not the one in March, but the one in the summer. So I'm doing three Sew With Me retreats in 2026. My next one is happening this summer and the registration for that retreat is happening and opening up on Saturday, January 30th. So in just a few weeks. If you are not a part of my email newsletter, I highly recommend going to craft with Bethany.com and signing up for that. If you're interested in any of my retreats retreats this year, my email newsletter usually gets the information before anybody else. So go check that out. I wanted to give you guys a little bit of heads up here for our listeners of my next registration date for my summer retreat, which all the information will be over on my website. So go check that out. But I'm really excited because it is officially 2026. My next retreat is happening in March, and then we have one in the summer, and then we'll do one in the fall. And I just can't wait to meet all of you. And I don't care if you're a sewist, a sewer, a quilter, a crafter, a bag maker, or whatever you are, whatever you choose to call yourself and define yourself as a creative person, you are welcome at my retreats. And I cannot wait to meet you and hang out with you and learn together and have some fun and be creative together. So I hope you'll join me a great time.
A
Yeah. All right, what's our next episode?
B
BETHANY Whips and UFOs. I am not the person to tell you to finish those, but we're going to talk about if you should finish them or if you shouldn't just say sayonara to them and have some methods maybe to help you figure out the best answer to that question, project by project. I think everything serves a purpose at some point, but that doesn't mean it has to stay. So we're gonna talk about that.
A
All right, well, thank you so much for joining us this meaty episode. We'd love to feedback. Please send us dms. Follow us on Instagram at the Social Hour podcast, or follow Bethany and I individually follow the Social Seas Facebook group. And we'd love to hear what you think and follow us on YouTube. If you like our show, we would love for you to share it with a Sewister creator friend of yours. We would be ever so grateful and we will see you the next episode.
B
All right, bye.
The Sewcial Hour Podcast – Episode 37: “The Lies We Tell Ourselves”
Air Date: January 13, 2026
Hosts: Bethany McCue (B) & Audra Chaimson (A)
In this engaging and thought-provoking episode, Bethany and Audra kick off 2026 by tackling the internal myths and self-doubt that plague sewists and makers. They zero in on the “lies we tell ourselves” about what it means to be a “real sewist,” dissecting issues of comparison, perfectionism, social media validation, and more. With warmth, honesty, and humor, the hosts challenge the traditional stereotypes, encouraging listeners to redefine what sewing and creativity mean to them—without needing external validation or the latest gadgets. The episode is filled with personal anecdotes, actionable challenges, and empowering advice for entering the new year with authenticity and confidence in one’s creative journey.
Connect with the hosts:
Listen to the next episode: “Whips and UFOs”—Should you finish or ditch those old projects?