Celebrity Conspiracy Theories! Taylor Swift, BRAT, and Kamala Harris!

Summary

Summary of "Celebrity Conspiracy Theories! Taylor Swift, BRAT, and Kamala Harris!" – The Shane Dawson Podcast

Release Date: August 18, 2024

In this episode of The Shane Dawson Podcast, host Shane Dawson engages in a lively and unfiltered conversation with his close friends Jared, Lizzie, Ryland, and Chris. The episode is packed with entertaining segments, heartfelt discussions, and intriguing conspiracy theories surrounding celebrities like Taylor Swift and Kamala Harris. Below is a detailed summary of the key points, discussions, insights, and conclusions from the episode.

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1. Walkstar Competition Recap

The episode kicks off with Shane Dawson discussing the conclusion of the Walkstar Competition, a step-counting challenge sponsored by Raycon. Participants tracked their daily steps using walking pads, competing for a grand prize of $5,000.

• Competition Insights:

  • Shane shares his personal step average of 32,520 per day, totaling 747,979 steps for the month.
  • Chris remarks, “I at least lost five pounds” (09:52), highlighting the health benefits participants experienced.
  • Ryland emphasizes the sustainability of maintaining an average of 13,000 to 14,000 steps daily, considering it an impressive feat (15:43).

• Winner Announcement:

  • Chris emerges as the winner with 23,001 average steps per day, narrowly edging out other competitors by just 248 steps (16:12).
  • Shane humorously notes, “If it’s Spencer, I’m gonna shit between” (11:28), teasing the proximity of the competition results.

• Impact and Community Engagement:

  • Jared praises the movement they've ignited, stating, “You've started a movement of health, and that's incredible” (17:26).
  • Participants express gratitude, with Shane getting emotional over the positive influence they've had on listeners.

2. Food Challenge: Coconut Ice Cream & Salt and Vinegar Chips

Transitioning from fitness, the hosts tackle a quirky food challenge featuring coconut ice cream paired with salt and vinegar chips.

• Reactions:

  • Shane expresses skepticism, “If this was a regular chip, I think it'd be good. But the fact that it's salt and vinegar ruins it.” (32:17).
  • Chris compares the taste to “eating the bottom piece of an ice cream cone filled with coconut ice cream” (32:43).

• Consensus:

  • The group finds the combination unappealing, aligning with Shane’s initial reservations.

3. Conspiracy Corner: Celebrity Theories Unveiled

In the Conspiracy Corner segment, the hosts delve into various intriguing and often bizarre theories involving celebrities.

a. Sofia Vergara's AI-Generated Selfie

• Theory Overview:

  • Shane presents the theory that Sofia Vergara's recent selfie is entirely AI-generated, sparking debates among fans (43:32).

• Discussion Points:

  • Ryland suggests, “It’s AI” (44:08), while Chris adds skepticism, questioning the authenticity of the image.
  • The group contemplates the implications of AI in celebrity image manipulation, acknowledging both marvel and creepiness.

b. Bill Gates' Farmland Acquisition Linked to Doomsday Maps

• Theory Overview:

  • The hosts explore a theory that Bill Gates’ significant purchase of farmland aligns suspiciously with doomsday flood maps, suggesting ulterior motives for food supply control post-catastrophe (46:10).

• Discussion Points:

  • Chris explains, “He owns farmland, making him power over the food supply” (47:41), while Shane considers the possibility of Gates preparing for a global flood scenario.
  • The conversation balances skepticism with acknowledgment of Gates' immense resources and strategic land investments.

c. Kamala Harris and The Simpsons Prediction

• Theory Overview:

  • The group discusses the notion that The Simpsons predicted Kamala Harris's attire during a speech, drawing parallels to the show’s history of seemingly prophetic content (48:56).

• Discussion Points:

  • Ryland dismisses the idea as coordinated PR, while Shane reflects on the show's uncanny ability to mirror real-life events.
  • The hosts debate the fine line between coincidence and intentional design in popular media predictions.

d. Anne Hathaway and William Shakespeare Reincarnation

• Theory Overview:

  • A whimsical theory suggests that Anne Hathaway and her husband Adam are the reincarnations of William Shakespeare and his wife, given their shared names and coinciding significant dates (56:02).

• Discussion Points:

  • Ryland adds, “It can’t be debunked” (57:08), while others find the idea both amusing and creepy.
  • The conversation touches on cultural impacts of reincarnation theories in celebrity lore.

e. PR Relationships: Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce

• Theory Overview:

  • The hosts examine the possibility that Taylor Swift's relationship with NFL player Travis Kelce is a PR maneuver aimed at regaining conservative fanbases after losing some due to her anti-Trump stance (57:49).

• Discussion Points:

  • Jared critiques the theory, noting that the NFL’s popularity surged more due to Taylor’s influence rather than the relationship being a calculated move.
  • The discussion highlights the symbiotic relationship between celebrity relationships and brand image management.

4. Interactive Segment: Cards Against Humanity

Adding a layer of humor, the hosts play Cards Against Humanity, selecting and reacting to offensive and funny prompts.

• Notable Moments:
  • When faced with prompts like “Old MacDonald had [blank],” the hosts deliver a mix of absurd and edgy answers, eliciting laughter and groans.
  • Shane remarks on the difficulty of choosing appropriate responses, especially concerning sensitive topics (33:34).

5. Dunk Tank Finale

The episode culminates with the anticipated dunk tank segment, where Spencer faces the consequence of being the competition’s bottom performer.

• Event Highlights:

  • The group dons swimwear and prepares to dunk Spencer, creating a mix of excitement and anxiety among the hosts.
  • Shane humorously navigates the situation, ensuring everyone’s participation stays light-hearted and fun.

• Quotes:

  • Chris anticipates the dunk with, “I was just trying to flex because my dogs are on them” (68:32), adding to the comedic tension.
  • Ryland encourages Spencer, “You got this, Rylan. I actually believe you will get it for some reason” (70:11).

6. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

Shane wraps up the episode by reflecting on the day's events and the strong camaraderie among the group. He expresses gratitude towards Raycon for sponsoring the Walkstar Competition and acknowledges the positive influence they've had on their audience’s health and wellness journey.

• Final Quotes:
  • Jared emphasizes the movement’s reach, “I think you guys have motivated the entire audience” (17:34).
  • Shane shares emotional sentiments, “I never thought in my whole life that I would be somebody that would help influence people to move, work out or, like, move” (17:54).

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Shane Dawson: “My average for the month was 32,520. Whoa. My total amount of majors was 747,979. It's almost a million.” (12:14)

• Chris: “I at least lost five pounds.” (09:52)

• Ryland: “We're going to have to look into the optics.” (14:20)

• Jared: “You've started a movement of health, and that's incredible.” (17:26)

• Shane Dawson: “I never thought in my whole life that I would be somebody that would help influence people to move, work out or, like, move. Like, that's nuts.” (17:54)

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Conclusion

This episode of The Shane Dawson Podcast masterfully blends humor, competition, and conspiracy theories, providing listeners with an engaging and multifaceted experience. From the intense Walkstar Competition to the speculative Conspiracy Corner and the entertaining dunk tank finale, Shane and his co-hosts deliver a memorable hour of unfiltered conversation. Not only do they entertain, but they also inspire their audience towards healthier lifestyles and critical thinking about popular celebrity narratives.

Whether you're a longtime listener or new to the podcast, this episode offers a rich tapestry of discussions that are both entertaining and thought-provoking. Press play to dive into the camaraderie and chaos, and press pause when you need a break from their lively banter.

Transcript

[Shane Dawson]

I don't know if I'm gonna get in trouble for this. I'm not gonna say anything. I'm playing this because Jared and Lizzie are here and they've both kind of talked about this before on the podcast, and I thought they think it was interesting. I think it's pretty creepy. But I also don't want to get murdered or demonetized, so I'm just gonna show the video.

[Jared]

Murdered.

[Shane Dawson]

I have to go. Oh, my God. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. I'm so excited. This is going to be such an epic. I haven't used that word in 10 years. An epic show.

[Chris]

It was nostalgic.

[Shane Dawson]

I liked it. This is crazy. We have. If you guys didn't see walking in, we have a dunk tank right outside that we are going to be using on one of you unlucky losers.

[Jared]

I want to dunk them all.

[Shane Dawson]

We could. Fun. We have the ultimate punishment for the Walkstar Competition and the ultimate prize. We're going to get to that later. Well, actually, we're going to get to that really soon because I'm too excited to hold that information in. But, yeah, if you wait till the end of the show, you will see one of us get dunked.

[Ryland]

You know, our new obsession with arcades has really led us to this moment. If we're not the losers, we're gonna dunk you motherfuckers first try. Because our new favorite game is Hitting the clowns. And we're getting pretty good.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, That's a good one. I love that game.

[Lizzie]

Jared and I do, actually, together.

[Shane Dawson]

Really? Yeah. I've realized very recently in my life that I think I'm sporty, which, plot twist. Never saw that coming. But bowling, not bad.

[Ryland]

Not an Olympic sport.

[Shane Dawson]

Knocking down clowns, not an Olympic sport. Damn.

[Chris]

Well, they're all testaments to accuracy, which is involved in most Olympic sports.

[Shane Dawson]

Right.

[Lizzie]

And they do have professional bowling leagues. They do, yeah.

[Ryland]

I'm about to get in one. I mean, I don't know if I'll qualify. I'm about to practice to get into one.

[Chris]

What is, like, your highest score so far?

[Ryland]

I just know if I beat Shane or not.

[Shane Dawson]

You guys should put it on time.

[Chris]

Fair enough.

[Ryland]

Are you guys watching the Olympics?

[Chris]

No.

[Shane Dawson]

Losers. I have no idea. Listen, offense to the Olympics, it's amazing. And what they do is incredible. But there's something about me. And I don't know what this means, but I don't care.

[Jared]

I'm right there with you. I was watching the male gymnast, like, floor routines And I was like, so underwhelmed.

[Chris]

I saw one clip of a guy on the uneven bars, and people were commenting like, wow, that's incredible. I can't believe he did that move. And I just watched it. Like, what move? You know, like, it looks all the same to me.

[Ryland]

So think about.

[Chris]

I'm a bad judge.

[Ryland]

It would take for you to train to do one of those things. And then there was a clip where a guy fell. He biffed the landing. No, you were right there with me. And I was like. I was like, will this excite you? And he was like.

[Shane Dawson]

I said, if there wasn't a mat. Like, listen, I'm not trying to see anybody get actually hurt. But the mat was like a soft landing on his face. And I was just like. It's like, if it was like. And once again, don't want to see anybody get hurt. But like in Final Destination, remember when the girl flew off the gym gymnast bar and then her body pretzels.

[Ryland]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris]

We need that in the Olympics. We need drama.

[Ryland]

I see.

[Shane Dawson]

I know nothing about any of this. The only thing I was the metal band opening with the headless Marie Antoinette. And that was so cool. Did anyone see that?

[Jared]

No.

[Ryland]

It was so cool. I'm all about the sports, baby. I didn't do the open ceremony.

[Shane Dawson]

The first metal band to open ever at the Olympics. It was very cool.

[Chris]

Have you ever watched curling? That's a sport.

[Jared]

Isn't that what brooms say?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Chris]

All they do is they throw a.

[Shane Dawson]

Rock and then they hyper.

[Chris]

They push a rock, and then you just have two people next to it. Brooming, like this.

[Shane Dawson]

My mom does this. It's cool. That's when. The fucking Olympics. Yeah.

[Chris]

I mean, I think right now we need to start a petition.

[Shane Dawson]

Yes.

[Chris]

Bowling next to. How often is it? Every four years. Oh, yeah, we got four years. Make it happen.

[Lizzie]

Well, they should also allow pony, I think is the term. Have you guys seen this? Where people do, like, have a fake horse and they just gallop and it's like a real sport.

[Shane Dawson]

No, that's not.

[Lizzie]

Because it is so funny to watch. But these people take it so serious.

[Shane Dawson]

It's like hobby horsing. And they, like. They have, like, the stick pony and they're like, very serious. And they do, like, jumps and they're like.

[Jared]

But they do gnarly jumps. Like, I've seen a bitch clear, like five feet. How does that Is Olympian strength.

[Shane Dawson]

I saw a mime video of. It was this mime, and he was on stage and he was doing a routine where he was peeling his own skin off.

[Chris]

What?

[Shane Dawson]

Your algorithm is crazy.

[Ryland]

Wow.

[Shane Dawson]

All the comments, too, were just like, I'm sick. Like, it was so. He was rolling his skin down like it was so real. And I was like, this should be on the Olympics. It was such a talent. It was crazy. I'll try to find it. It was amazing. Amazing.

[Ryland]

Well, we got to wrap this up because I gotta go watch the Olympics at the movie theaters.

[Shane Dawson]

What?

[Ryland]

You can watch it live. That's where I'm gonna meet my Olympic friends.

[Shane Dawson]

You know what I want to do is the 4D thing. Have you heard? You were telling me.

[Ryland]

I really want to do that.

[Shane Dawson]

It's the theater where you watch the movie, but then the seats move and everything, so I thought that was it. But no, I saw videos of people watching Twister or Twisters. Yeah. I don't know. It's actually crazy, but, yeah, it spits water in your face.

[Jared]

What?

[Shane Dawson]

Smoke and, like, fire. And people were coming out of it looking like they got full on bukhaki. Just like, just watch twisters in 4D. I'm like, what the fuck is this? Where is this? Should we do the podcast in 4D? We should.

[Chris]

Can you imagine? There's, like, a group of really talented people performing a play, and there's nobody in the seats but a 4D movie. Everyone goes, yeah. It's like, dude, it's real. You can go see a play.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, that's. That's a weird stance for you to. Are you a play person?

[Chris]

I mean, I'm just saying.

[Shane Dawson]

You love the theater.

[Chris]

Yeah, I'm a theater freak.

[Shane Dawson]

I love that. Yeah, you look like a theater freak in that shirt. I got.

[Chris]

I feel like I worked at, like, KB Toys or something. This is very cool.

[Shane Dawson]

Does anybody know what his shirt is? Am I the only one? So today's theme was nostalgia. That was my stylist theme. And so Jared has the moon man from McDonald's. He used to play the piano at McDonald's when you go in. Did nobody else have that?

[Ryland]

They had live music.

[Shane Dawson]

Yes. Well, it's a robot, so, yeah. Moon man Rylan has the Playboys. Rest in peace. Are they still around? Yeah, they are. Yeah.

[Jared]

The boys be playing.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, so we got the Playboys. Chris has the Pink Ranger. I love her. Amy Joel Johnson. I love her. I loved Power Rangers and I loved her. I love Susie Q. I love. I love her. The amount of gay guys that jerked off to her.

[Ryland]

Honestly, I don't know who she is.

[Shane Dawson]

Pink Ranger.

[Ryland]

I don't know any of this. Nostalgia.

[Shane Dawson]

You're not. You're a homophobe. You're not gay.

[Ryland]

I'm very offended.

[Chris]

He watches the Olympics, okay?

[Jared]

He was just watching the boys diving.

[Ryland]

It's so gay.

[Jared]

It couldn't be more gay.

[Ryland]

It feels like gay porn. Watching these synchronized men, divers, wearing literally nothing. It feels like erotic. And I don't know how it's on national television.

[Shane Dawson]

I'm sorry. It should feel disgusting.

[Ryland]

It makes.

[Shane Dawson]

No, Lizzy, you should be like, that's not my husband. It's not like I was sick.

[Ryland]

I wasn't.

[Jared]

That's what I said. Shane. I said, those are not. Shane. I said, we should not be watching this gay pornography in your house with your husband.

[Ryland]

Lizzy walked in and I go, I'm in my office. Come on up. And then she walked in and I said, I'm watching gay porn. It feels like it. I said, join me. And she sat down and we watched gay porn together.

[Shane Dawson]

What I will say is, kudos to them. Because every time I've seen a diving clip, a lot of growers. There's not a lot of showers in this. In the.

[Ryland]

Or.

[Jared]

Are they tucking for less?

[Shane Dawson]

Splash.

[Ryland]

We're going to have to look into the optics.

[Jared]

Faster movement, showing aerodynamics.

[Shane Dawson]

Realistic representation of Peni. Is that the plural? Yes.

[Chris]

Wow.

[Shane Dawson]

Spencer's wearing a Pokemon. Oh, that's what that is. We don't know which one that is.

[Ryland]

You couldn't even get him Pikachu.

[Shane Dawson]

We don't know who Gengar is. Gengar. Gengar. Is that his name? I'm pretty sure. Wow. Gengar. Geng. Geng, yeah. Spencer, do you know who that is? Nope. Didn't know who was it says on the back. I couldn't read it and now I know.

[Jared]

Spencer, does your generation fuck with Pokemon?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, I just. I just. It just missed me. I just, like, didn't. Didn't. Okay, here we go. The walkstar. Com. Oh, my God. This is the last time we're ever going to hear this song. That is so sad. Okay, guys, here we go. The final time. The Walk Star competition. Get off your ass and get in the game. Get a cash prize and bragging rights and rise to Internet fame. Stop being a lazy fucking. Get up, get moving, get your body grooving One step at a time we're gonna go far. Who's gonna be the Walk Star? Oh, yes.

[Jared]

Damn, that one hits really hard.

[Shane Dawson]

What the fuck is the Olympic theme song? It ain't that.

[Jared]

I don't even think they have one.

[Shane Dawson]

So, yes, the Walkstar Competition for some of you, you might be excited because you're sick of hearing about this. And for us, I'm very, very sad because I'm gonna miss this. This is the end. This is the finale. We have the result.

[Ryland]

I mean, it's the end of a competition. The beginning of a new lifestyle.

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Shane Dawson]

How was your guys final days in the walk Star?

[Chris]

Slow.

[Lizzie]

I was killing it.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Sandy was murdering the game in the last three days for sure.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. Because I was stressed that I was going to lose. I thought I got to up these steps.

[Chris]

Once we found out there was a dunk tank, I kept going like this to her and then he just kept.

[Lizzie]

Saying, dunker, dunker, you're going down. Saying, you got to get your steps in.

[Chris]

When Shane said that, I said, I'm worried about you. I think you're going to get dunked. But guess what?

[Shane Dawson]

It did.

[Chris]

Someone got a super high step day. I don't know if we're talking about it yet.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, yeah, we'll get there. Because I was shook. Okay. If you guys don't know, if you haven't been watching the walk start competition which is over. Today was a competition where we all were fighting for steps, except for Chris and Lizzie because they both have. We're both pregnant. They're both pregnant. One with maybe a parasite, one with the baby. Okay. So, yes, we all competed. We had walking pads. We got really into this. We were tracking our steps. And the winner, whoever gets the most step average, will win $5,000. Brought to you by Raycon. So thank you so much, Raycon, for sponsoring this competition. This has really been exciting and cool and honestly, I feel like it changed my life. Like it got me so much healthier.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, me too. I at least lost five pounds.

[Shane Dawson]

I honestly, you guys look snatched.

[Chris]

I feel snatched.

[Lizzie]

Well, and Jared even said like Sandy, after this competition, we're still getting at least 15,000 subs a day.

[Ryland]

Yeah, at least.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, thank you so much. Raycon, please. Guys, check it out. Go to buyraycon.com grower to get 15% off of your Raycon order. Check it out. They have beautiful colors. They have like this beautiful purple. Well, this is a Stanley cup, but they have a purple Raycons that are so beautiful. Very Olivia Rodrigo coated. And yeah, they have a bunch of other cool colors. So buyraycon.com grower 15% off. Okay, are you guys ready? Yes.

[Ryland]

I'm nervous.

[Shane Dawson]

So I have some sort of a plot twist, something that I have been keeping a secret. This hole.

[Ryland]

Oh, no.

[Jared]

I'm gonna throw.

[Lizzie]

Oh, no.

[Shane Dawson]

You guys thought that you were competing against the. In reality, I was never in the competition.

[Ryland]

That's just won. Huh?

[Chris]

What a gracious winner.

[Shane Dawson]

We had shout out to you. This was the plan all along, so. My plan. I feel like I'm in big. My goal. I know, it's very exciting.

[Lizzie]

Well, when Shane got 40. What is it? 45,000 steps, and it was like 7:00. We're like, man, all right. We got to at least come in second or third.

[Shane Dawson]

My goal was to set the bar. And I wanted the winner of this competition to actually try for this because. Because a lot of people. Ding, ding, ding.

[Ryland]

I'm consistent.

[Shane Dawson]

Were like, what's the point? You're gonna win anyways. I'm not even gonna try. So obviously, people like that don't deserve to win. I've taken myself out of the competition. And the winner. I'm just gonna say this.

[Ryland]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Dawson]

If it's Spitzer, I'm gonna shit between.

[Chris]

Me too.

[Shane Dawson]

Between first and second place. Are you ready for this?

[Jared]

No.

[Shane Dawson]

There was only 248 step different.

[Ryland]

It's between these two.

[Shane Dawson]

We'll see. Get ready for this. Between the two losers. Well, wait, I think we know between the two bottoms. What? Between the two bottoms. Oh, they turn into roof for that. Between the two bottoms, there was only a 536 step difference. Oh, my God. Between getting dunked and not getting dunked. 500 steps.

[Ryland]

I hope it stands up.

[Jared]

It almost hurts more.

[Shane Dawson]

I'm so excited. Okay, here's how I want to break it down. So we have the average steps, right? So we added up all the days and divided them. So it's like the average. That's what the winner is. And then we have the total number of steps. Just because I was curious. And then we have the best day. And that's something else that's very exciting to me. So me. My average for the month was 32,520. Whoa. My total amount of majors was 747,979. It's almost a million. We should calculate, like, how far you. That's a good idea.

[Ryland]

Wow. We'll put it on the screen.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. Yeah. Let's start with who had the best day of the month. Sandra.

[Jared]

Sandy.

[Shane Dawson]

So the best day. Somebody got 50,260 steps.

[Ryland]

Well, if you're a part of our. Our secret group chat, you already know.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh. If you're part of the Instagram farmers and growers chat, you already know. But the winner was. For that was Sandy. That is Crazy.

[Lizzie]

That was a lot of. I mean, I just was like dripping in sweat and I was like, I got to get in there.

[Chris]

One of us got that many steps and another one of us heard about it for about two days straight. And it was everything. Like, I don't know if you know this, but when you walk 50,000 steps.

[Lizzie]

It'S like when you're in the 50k club, you know, things feel a little different.

[Shane Dawson]

The air is different up there. I got my highest day was like 49, 48,500, so I wasn't even close.

[Ryland]

Yeah. Damn, you deserve that rush.

[Lizzie]

I should make myself a T shirt, you know?

[Ryland]

Yeah. 50,000 step club. Yes.

[Shane Dawson]

50,000 steps is literally a marathon. 26 miles.

[Jared]

Shut the fuck up.

[Lizzie]

And I will say I feel great the next day. Like, at first, when I first started walking, I was in pain and my knee was killing me and I had to ice, like all the time, but. And I thought for sure I wasn't gonna be able to walk the next day, but I felt like a pep in my step and I was just like moving around. Yeah.

[Ryland]

Honestly, throughout all of this, Shane has more overall energy. The more you walk, the more energy you have, which is crazy.

[Shane Dawson]

Once again, only 500 steps in between the two losers or the two bottoms.

[Chris]

That's crazy. Cause if you break down the average, that's only like a 25 step a day difference.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. Wow.

[Chris]

That's crazy.

[Jared]

That makes the loser a real fucking loser. I mean, bottom. Some would say a power bottom.

[Shane Dawson]

Ooh.

[Jared]

Oh, I don't know.

[Shane Dawson]

So Ryland, you had an average of 14,328 steps a day. Spencer. Yep. Your average step for the day was 13,000. Power, power, bottom power. Although I will say you had an incredibly high day. Higher than Ryland's highest day. One of your days, you got up to 28,000 steps. But also for total number of steps, ryland, you got 329,564 and Spencer got 317,216. Can I just say that's like a lot like you guys really did that.

[Chris]

That it is like over double the national average and a very healthy amount of steps. So I'm trying to say anything negative. It's just pretty low for the competition in all reality.

[Ryland]

I understand in a competition, but I think if I can maintain 13 to 14 on an every day forever, I think that's insane.

[Chris]

Yeah. Yeah, that'd be great, right?

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, are you guys ready?

[Jared]

My stomach is in knots.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay. I feel like it's once again I do too. Only 248 steps in between number one and number two. This is crazy. The winner of the entire Walkstar competition. The winner of $5,000 from Raycon. And I don't have, like a tiara or anything, but I do have this shoe that Jojo Siwa left at our house eight years ago. That's better. Really?

[Chris]

A JoJo shoe?

[Ryland]

It's the music video prop.

[Shane Dawson]

You can only hold this during the rest of the show. Unfortunately, I can't give it away. Cause I feel like one day JoJo might ask for it.

[Ryland]

I feel like one time I offered and she was like. She's like, I'm onto karma. I'm onto bigger, better things.

[Shane Dawson]

True. Okay, the winner is. With 23,001 step. Are you kidding me?

[Chris]

I just want to thank all the littler people that I stepped on to get this. Although it was formidable competition from Sandy. Sandy, you were motivating. You kept me on it and I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you very much. I'll be buying us dinner tonight. That's it at Chili's, but thank you, guys. I feel a lot healthier. Thanks to all of you who have been motivating me, especially this one. And yeah, I'm excited and I'm going to keep. I'm going to keep on it. I don't know if I'm going to be getting like 30,000 steps a day. It's a little time consuming. But I think we're excited about continuing in on this journey.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Lizzie]

Definitely.

[Jared]

I also think you guys have motivated the entire audience. Like, I've been seeing people posting their steps all over Instagram, and I think that that is even more insane than anything. Like, you've started a movement of health, and that's incredible.

[Shane Dawson]

A movement of movement. A movement of movement.

[Jared]

Like, could Michelle. What is her name? Michelle Obama. Not Babama.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, when she did the turn up. Yeah, yeah, right. That was about.

[Jared]

This feels more influential.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. Honestly, I'm not gonna lie. I got a little emotional looking at all the tags and all the people doing their steps. Like, I never thought in my whole life that I would be somebody that would help influence people to move, work out or, like, move. Like, that's nuts. So that's very exciting. So thank you guys for joining. Keep it going. Let's keep this going. Yeah. Tag us on Instagram. And one of you guys that tagged us will also be winning $500. Woo. But, yeah, here we go. That's it. That's the end of the Walk dark competition.

[Ryland]

Congrats, Jess.

[Shane Dawson]

Thank you. The beginning of the end for Spencer. Later in the show, we will all be taking our shots to dunk him in the freezing cold. Dunk. It's an extra dunk on me because I had to, like, organize the dunk tank and everything. I had to, like, make sure I came here on time and everything. I know. I helped set it up with a guy. This was Riley's ide, if you remember Ryland in that episode.

[Ryland]

You're welcome, everybody. You're welcome.

[Shane Dawson]

It's a good idea.

[Chris]

You dug your own grave, dude.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, well, we're gonna take a quick little break, and when we come back, vagina. And I'm still on the fence if we're gonna do it or not, but we have one of the craziest food concoction things ever, and Jared's gonna hate it, so we might be doing that. See you in a second. Hey, sorry to interrupt the episode. Please don't go anywhere. Also, why is it so dark in here? It's daytime outside. Why does it look like this? It's, like, spooky. I guess we'll make these ads. Oh, my God. Spooky season is coming. Perfect. Okay, I know there's a lot of scary things going on. What is that voice? I'm just gonna do it as RuPaul. My children, don't be scared. Mama Roo has some deals for you. You know what the scariest thing about this time of year is? Back to school shopping. Okay, sorry. I'll stop doing the Roo thing. I don't want her to sue me. Root cons. No. Today we're talking about Raycons. Yes. I have new, beautiful lavender purple raycons, which these are my favorite ones they've ever made. They are so beautiful. Look at them. Back. Back to school shopping. So, yes, it is that time of year, that spooky time of year where you go to the store and you're with your kids and you're like, I don't know, just pick some. I don't know. Don't be too expensive, though. And then they buy all these folders and backpacks that they're gonna throw away in six months. Well, you know what the best back to school item to get is? Raycon. And the price is truly scary at how low it is. So Raycon is doing a huge back to school sale right now. They are going to give you guys 20 to 40% off of their site. 20 to 40%. Now, if you don't know about Raycons, Already they've sponsored the show before. I love my Raycons, especially the purple ones. They have so many colors. These are the everyday earbuds. They actually just like revamped these a little bit. They have the new quick charge function where 10 minutes of charging gets you 90 minutes of battery life life. They also have the new multi point connectivity which means you can use these like with your phone and your laptop at the same time. And the active noise cancellation. That's why these are perfect for back to school. Cuz when you're walking through the hallways and you want to cancel out those haters, the Raycons got you back. Also they're weatherproof and sweat resistant. So if you're walking to school in the pouring rain or you're just walking at a normal pace and pouring sweat like I do, these will be protected. And I love using my Raycons when I'm walking. It is so easy cuz I can just like be looking at my laptop on my wall walking pad and then quickly look right over at my phone and I'm connected to both. I love them. And Raycon as always offers a 30 day happiness guaranteed. And if you don't like them, you can return them very easily. But you're not, you're in a love. So just go to buyraycon.com grower and get 20 to 40% off site wide. That's everything on the Raycon website. They don't just have the everyday earbuds, they have so many other items. So check it out, Explore. Go to buyraycon.com grower and yeah, show them some love. Especially since they are literally the brand behind the Walkstar competition. Round of applause. I don't know if in the episode yet we've said the winner. Have we? I don't know. I'm filming this before but they gave somebody $5,000 for walking. Like who else does that? You know what I mean? So thank you so much, Raycon. Please check them out and I hope you enjoy the rest of the show. Bye. Viewers are great. I need another. We love it when you send in pics of each other and your invasive questions makes us want to say V a G I n a vagina. Oh, okay, first of all, I have to show this. This is crazy. I don't know if you've seen this yet, Chris, but we got so many emails about this. Like 100 emails about this. So in the last episode we talked about sleep paralysis and you were talking about how you have it and how it's like scary and Stuff. Yeah. Did you know that when you Google sleep paralysis, this is literally the picture it shows?

[Ryland]

Is it Chris?

[Shane Dawson]

That is literally you? That is literally you. Oh, my God.

[Ryland]

How did they find your doppelganger if it's not you?

[Shane Dawson]

That is actually. Or is it you somebody AI'd like Chris. Like, sleep paralysis. That. That's what it looks like.

[Ryland]

Doesn't look that much like me.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. Are you kidding? I don't think that's what you look like.

[Jared]

Can you see it?

[Shane Dawson]

I can. Yeah. Just. That's you. It looks a lot.

[Jared]

Your facial hair.

[Ryland]

Chris is like, damn, I want to him look back.

[Shane Dawson]

Like, lay back. Holy. That's crazy. No, that's not.

[Chris]

Better than AI recreating. Yes, that's you.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow. They knew that I have it.

[Ryland]

That's you more than it's you.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, okay. This one is so cute. This is an email from Dorsey and Elias. Elias.

[Lizzie]

Elias.

[Shane Dawson]

Elias. Thank you. That makes so much more sense. From Dorsey.

[Chris]

And they got cool names, though.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

You know they got Pixar names.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Like finding Dorsey and Elias. Okay. They said, hey, guys. Just wanted to share this moment with you guys. Guys, my husband wore his grower shirt to his vasectomy appointment.

[Jared]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Dawson]

He was nervous about being an grower, so he thought it would advocate for himself. Everything went well and I'm officially done harvesting them goods.

[Chris]

There's a lot of pun in there and I like it.

[Shane Dawson]

It really is. Oh, my God, you're right. Harvesting. That is funny. I love them.

[Lizzie]

I love them.

[Shane Dawson]

So here's a picture of them wearing their growers and farmer shirts.

[Lizzie]

They're so stupid.

[Chris]

I think history is going to write us as the people who advocated for growers.

[Shane Dawson]

Thank you.

[Chris]

And got people walking.

[Shane Dawson]

Thank you.

[Jared]

Hell, yeah.

[Chris]

It's such a healthier world because of this, and I couldn't be more proud to be a part of it.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, I'm going to give you guys a few voicemail titles and you tell us which one we should play. Another gay husband.

[Ryland]

He's gay. We don't even need it. He's gay. I'm sorry, girl. We love you. And he's gay.

[Shane Dawson]

Is he watching diving?

[Ryland]

He's watching.

[Jared]

You have to ask?

[Ryland]

I'm serious. Yeah, check the history. If he's watching synchronized men's diving, it's confirmed.

[Shane Dawson]

Catfishing an X on Snapchat.

[Ryland]

Oh, okay.

[Shane Dawson]

Fire. I already got with his uncle. That's a competitor. That's in the top for sure.

[Chris]

We rarely get uncles in here, so. I like that one.

[Shane Dawson]

Boyfriend called me Sister in bed. Oh, what?

[Jared]

Wait, like his sister's name? Or like, like sister.

[Shane Dawson]

Wait, I.

[Ryland]

Wait, that one. Wait, that's pretty gay, too.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Sister. Sister.

[Shane Dawson]

And the last. The last one. Wow. I'm just going to read them all. The last one is. Is only fans cheating. Oh, interesting. What do you. I honestly, I kind of want the uncle one.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Do you think uncle?

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Yes, for sure. All right, let's get into this uncle.

[Ryland]

That sounded okay.

[Shane Dawson]

So I need a little bit of advice. I have been talking to this guy.

[Jared]

For, I don't know, like, a month now. But, like, we're just, like, in the talking phase and asking, you know, do you.

[Shane Dawson]

Do I cut off all the people I'm talking to?

[Jared]

He said, no, you're a big girl. Do whatever you want.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, backstory.

[Jared]

I've known his uncle for plus five years now, and me and his uncle kind of like, been hooking up in a way. Like, his uncle's like 50 years old, and I met him, the guy I'm.

[Shane Dawson]

Talking to now through his uncle.

[Jared]

So, like, am I wrong for this? Like, he doesn't know.

[Shane Dawson]

Like, should I tell him?

[Jared]

Should I not tell him again? Side note, I've also have messed with.

[Shane Dawson]

The uncle's son, which I.

[Lizzie]

Like.

[Jared]

Am I wrong for doing this?

[Ryland]

I think he needs to pick one and stick with it.

[Shane Dawson]

She loves the family and. Thank you. Please help me. Bye. Thank you so much for watching. Wow. So there was something in that. In that bloodline. Yeah, that's a strong bloodline of she's.

[Jared]

Fucked the uncle and the cousin and the uncle's son.

[Ryland]

So I don't know who's the cousin. You're gonna explode the family, too? You're gonna break up the family?

[Lizzie]

Well, the reality of it is that you can't go anywhere with it with either one of these people. It's not gonna ever get serious because his family.

[Jared]

And if you tell them that's it, he's probably going to be disinterested if you're happy. And if you keep that secret, you're probably going to implode.

[Shane Dawson]

I mean, realistically, this is just too complicated now. Like, like everyone said, it's not going to work. Well, good luck.

[Ryland]

We hope you're happy.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, that's all we care about. Tell us which one.

[Jared]

Get your nut, girl.

[Shane Dawson]

Eat your face.

[Ryland]

Send us a picture of the one you end up with.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow. It's like crumble cookies. Except for their different family members. Try them all.

[Jared]

Oh, my God, Rachel.

[Shane Dawson]

Them. Rank them. Whoa. All right, let's do One more I think we should do. I kind of want to know. Boyfriend called me sister in bed.

[Ryland]

Yes.

[Chris]

That's interesting.

[Shane Dawson]

It's a family affair today.

[Jared]

Hi, Shane.

[Shane Dawson]

I've been watching since, you know, the. Hey, what's up, you guys? Yes.

[Jared]

Era. But anyway, so I need some advice because.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, gosh.

[Jared]

So my boyfriend and I have been together for so long, and we were, you know, doing stuff the other day, and he accidentally called me his sister's name. And, like, while we were doing stuff, and I was like. We immediately stopped. He was so embarrassed and was like.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my gosh, so sorry. Like, all these things.

[Jared]

What does that mean?

[Shane Dawson]

Well, I just.

[Lizzie]

I need your guys's opinion on this.

[Shane Dawson]

Because I'm so freaked out.

[Jared]

Okay, bye.

[Chris]

It's worse than we could have ever expected. I thought he just said sister.

[Jared]

I disagree. I think it's fine.

[Ryland]

What?

[Lizzie]

I wish she would have said, like, what his sister's name is, because what if it's kind of similar?

[Ryland]

Or what if he had, like, gotten in a fight with his sister or just had a really, like, intense conversation with the sister and, like, couldn't get over.

[Shane Dawson]

She was thinking about it during sex.

[Jared]

No, but it's like. It's like, I call my dogs the same name all the time.

[Ryland]

I go, which one?

[Jared]

I call Joe James all the time.

[Shane Dawson]

I know, but during sex, you're like, there's a lot of feelings going on. You should be. I have a question, and maybe I'm weird, but, like, the. The thing of saying the person's name is that. Does that happen? It's never happened in my life.

[Jared]

I think saying a name regardless is weird in sex, right?

[Shane Dawson]

Like, yeah. Oh, Rylan. You'd be like, what? Yeah, I guess I would never, actually. Maybe I'm wrong. I have no.

[Chris]

I mean, there is accuracy to the point. However, this is weird.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't know that there's a lot that can help this. To be honest. I really.

[Jared]

I stand by it not being that weird.

[Shane Dawson]

What?

[Jared]

You flub a name. You flub a name. I think it's weirder to use a name, period.

[Shane Dawson]

During sex, at least he apologized and felt really embarrassed.

[Jared]

Like, yeah, he knows it's wrong.

[Shane Dawson]

I'm split. Part of me agrees with that. The other part of me kind of understands what Ryland said. I think it was Ryland that said, maybe they just got into a fight. Because, like, yeah, there is moments during sex where, like, it doesn't mean you're thinking about the person sexually, but you could be. I could literally be like, oh, My postmate. Are they almost here? Oh, what was their name? Like, I get. I mean, you're great, but sometimes if my brain wanders, you can think about.

[Ryland]

Trying to get it finished before the postmate shows up.

[Chris]

I think I got it. I think I actually know why he did this. Because remember back in the day, people would say, think about baseball. Think about baseball when you're having sex.

[Shane Dawson]

Because you don't want to eat ejaculate.

[Chris]

I think he was just trying to think of things that turn him off.

[Shane Dawson]

So he didn't eject.

[Ryland]

Well, that's better.

[Chris]

Honestly, his sister and he accidentally said her name. But then you got to think about, what if this was in a Lindsay Lohan movie, right? We would be saying how cute it is.

[Shane Dawson]

It's not that bad. Live your best life, right?

[Chris]

And keep going, sister.

[Ryland]

No, I don't think it's a breakup effect fence. It's just a little weird.

[Jared]

Or go through his phone and see how many girls have the same name as his sister in it. Because what if he's just saying it was a sister, but he's really a two timing. I just got mad.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, guys, we have a choice. Okay? Do you want to do a crazy food combination that's gonna blow your minds, or should we play cards against humanity?

[Chris]

You already know I don't want to eat whatever you're talking about.

[Ryland]

And that seems like a green light to go, because it's gonna be good.

[Lizzie]

I agree.

[Shane Dawson]

Food, really? You know what? Good idea. Let's take a look at the video. This is from Adrian Balan. Jared, if you don't remember who she is, you will real quick. No, I do know.

[Chris]

Oh, man. I know who this is.

[Jared]

Salt and vinegar juice.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, not this one.

[Jared]

Yep. And coconut ice cream.

[Chris]

No.

[Ryland]

Yes, I would.

[Jared]

I want to fuck that up.

[Ryland]

I do too.

[Jared]

I want to fuck that up right now.

[Chris]

And I was actually, actually craving coconut shrimp.

[Jared]

No one craves coconut shrimp.

[Lizzie]

That actually sounds pretty good.

[Shane Dawson]

I love that. Think coconut shrimp. Think coconut shrimp while you're eating ice cream cheese. It's not bad.

[Ryland]

How you hear her.

[Shane Dawson]

Voice go up 10 octaves because she's live.

[Jared]

I feel like anyone who says, think of coconut shrimp while you eat this is gonna get slapped in the face.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, last time we did this, she put coffee creamer in her soup. And wasn't it like, she's like, think of dumplings. It was sick.

[Ryland]

Everything she does, that one makes me gag. Awful.

[Shane Dawson]

I love her. She's a queen. I hope she can come on the show one day. Give Us these in real life. So we have. Spencer's bringing it out. We have coconut ice cream with salt and vinegar chip.

[Chris]

I think it's.

[Ryland]

That doesn't actually.

[Lizzie]

I think it sounds good, too.

[Chris]

Is that what you thought I was going to hate?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Oh, I'm not too mad at that.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, all right, then. Let's play cards against humanity. I'm excited about this. I don't like. I hate salt and vinegar chips and I hate coconut. So I'm interested to see if the combination makes me like it. I love these things separately. I like that Lizzie's rubbing her belly for it.

[Jared]

Oh, I'm, like, dripping at the mouth.

[Shane Dawson]

Really? Yeah.

[Jared]

Like, I'm into this.

[Ryland]

Oh, my God.

[Lizzie]

I like coconut ice cream and I love salt and vinegar chips.

[Chris]

It looks like Dee's.

[Jared]

Deez Nut Nuts. Dread Jared.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Ryland]

It smells good because. Oh, Jared already went in.

[Shane Dawson]

Even Jared's trait, he always does that.

[Chris]

I thought we were going. I feel like I'm eating the bottom piece of an ice cream cone that just happened to be filled with coconut ice cream.

[Shane Dawson]

If this was a regular chip, I think it'd be good. But the fact that it's salt and vinegar ruins it. I hate coconut. It's. I hate. Oh, I love when people do. When there's, like, videos of people, like, opening up a coconut, being like, oh, you never had this before? Fresh off the chain. And they're. I fucking.

[Ryland]

I love coconut. But it is. People love it or hate it.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, well, let's just do a couple. A couple quick rounds of cards against humanity, because I love that game and we have it here, and it's fine. But I will say this before we play. If there is an offensive answer that's, like, terrible. Oh, my God. It's not me. I don't choose those. No, because last time we played this, there was a couple very offensive answers. And I saw comments being like, I know that was Shane's. It wasn't mine.

[Ryland]

You look at the cards and they're handwritten.

[Shane Dawson]

All right, here we go. I'm going to go first. I'm going to read the category, and you guys, guys secretly give me your answers. Sorry.

[Jared]

This automatically gets me going.

[Shane Dawson]

I love how happy this makes you. Okay. Hulu's new reality show features 12 hot singles living with blank.

[Jared]

Just really don't know why it does this to me.

[Shane Dawson]

It doesn't matter if it's what do you meme? Or this. She just can't handle it. Do you love Mad Libs?

[Jared]

I probably do.

[Lizzie]

Didn't meet My expectations.

[Ryland]

You gave her too many options.

[Shane Dawson]

You really did. So put half your cards down.

[Jared]

I was embarrassed that this was gonna happen. That's why I said, let's do the fucking food thing.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, let me refresh your memory. Hulu's new reality show features 12 hot singles living with white people. 12 hot singles living with the ugliest boys in town. That's a good show. 12 Hot Singles Living with a bowl of mayonnaise and again, I'm sorry, I have to go. Who just said, I don't know. A bowl of mayonnaise and human teeth. That was funny. It's very weird. Okay, 12 hot singles living with meth.

[Jared]

Oh, no.

[Shane Dawson]

12 odd singles living with. With Bill Nye the side.

[Ryland]

That's pretty good.

[Jared]

Honestly, that show sounds fire.

[Chris]

I say cut that out so we could actually use it. We need Bill Nye in a reality show.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my God. 12 hot singles living with. Getting cummed on.

[Jared]

Oh, sticky.

[Shane Dawson]

Not even a laugh from Lizzie.

[Chris]

That was my. I never joke about fun in case it's controversial, right?

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, man, this is hard. Between Bill Nye and the mayonnaise thing. I'm going to say the bowl of mayonnaise and human teeth.

[Ryland]

No, that was your Lizzy.

[Shane Dawson]

Satisfied? Oh, good job.

[Jared]

I didn't look at your options.

[Shane Dawson]

I was filling up. Okay, Lizzy, do you want to go next? Since you.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jared]

High five, bro. Oh, I don't get it either.

[Ryland]

So blank. High five, bro.

[Shane Dawson]

Blank.

[Jared]

High five, bro.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, we did this one last time. This was a fun one. Okay.

[Ryland]

Okay. Mine's perfect.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Jared]

Mixing them up. A whole thing of butter. High five, bro. I high five a lot.

[Shane Dawson]

We'll add the sound explaining how vaginas work.

[Jared]

High five, bro. A CIS man played a trans woman. High five, bro. Who did this to me?

[Chris]

I did that.

[Jared]

That one was not fair. You guys are all just trying to fuck me right now, and I don't know that I want to be clipped. I'm with child being a woman giving birth to the Antichrist. High five, bro. I'm gonna have to go ahead and say explaining how vaginas work.

[Shane Dawson]

Woo.

[Jared]

Not because I knew it was his, but because that's a hard thing to do.

[Ryland]

We still don't understand.

[Jared]

We don't.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, who want. Let's do one more round. Who wants to go next?

[Chris]

I'll go.

[Shane Dawson]

Ooh. Okay.

[Chris]

Old MacDonald had the eye. E I O.

[Shane Dawson]

This is a hard one.

[Ryland]

Oh, my God.

[Jared]

Oh, wait. Oh, it's too late.

[Ryland]

It's too late.

[Jared]

That's the rule of Games. Once Spencer has it, it's over.

[Chris]

All right. And for the moment of truth, Old MacDonald had a bleached asshole. E I, E I o old MacDonald had sex with animals. Oh, that might be too real. E I E I O Sound like.

[Shane Dawson]

An announcer reading this.

[Chris]

Old MacDonald had Saudi oil money. Eieio very political at felt. Old MacDonald had a lifetime of sadness.

[Ryland]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah. Old MacDonald had the magic of live theater. Much better than 4D. Support the live arts. Old MacDonald had Dick Bing fingers.

[Shane Dawson]

E I, E I O Wow.

[Chris]

I mean, it's gonna be hard for me because I do want to continuously promote this if possible, but Old MacDonald had the magic of life theater. But a bleached was number two. Pretty strong.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, let's do one more. I'm having fun, Sandy.

[Lizzie]

All right, so I have. I get by with a little help from blank. Oh, great. This is gonna be a good one. All right, so I get by with a little help from huffing spray paint.

[Chris]

Accurate.

[Shane Dawson]

Accurate.

[Lizzie]

Not the best. I get by with a little help from Spirit Airlines.

[Jared]

Do you?

[Lizzie]

Does anyone?

[Shane Dawson]

No.

[Lizzie]

I get by with a little help from poppin my flopper.

[Shane Dawson]

I think it was bopping my flopper. I don't know who that was.

[Lizzie]

I give by with a little help from pretending to be a dentist. Okay.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, that's a show.

[Lizzie]

I get by with a little help from a Bop It.

[Ryland]

Hell, yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Very close to boppet.

[Ryland]

It wasn't mine, but it feels like Jared's fucking with me.

[Lizzie]

I get by with a little help from my fuck slave, Regina.

[Jared]

I think it's pronounced Reginald.

[Lizzie]

Reginald.

[Shane Dawson]

They were so normal until that one. Mine was bopping my flowers.

[Chris]

I might have been bopping.

[Lizzie]

I. You know, I was gonna actually pick a Bop It. Cause it made me think of Violet.

[Ryland]

I was waiting.

[Chris]

I was.

[Shane Dawson]

Wait.

[Chris]

I was hoping it was gonna be your turn. At some point, I was gonna throw Bop it at you, but I had to use it.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. Okay, one more. Rylan.

[Ryland]

Oh, thank God.

[Shane Dawson]

After I get rid of Bop It.

[Ryland]

Okay. Today on Maury. Or is it Maury Mori.

[Shane Dawson]

Maury.

[Ryland]

Help. My son is blank.

[Shane Dawson]

I'm scared.

[Ryland]

Where this is gonna. Today on Mori. Oh, my son is.

[Lizzie]

Have you guys just been showing each other your card?

[Ryland]

Our winning card. The ones we passed.

[Shane Dawson]

All right, this is the grand finale, so read these. Good. Okay.

[Ryland]

Okay. Today on Mori. Help. My son is having anus.

[Shane Dawson]

What?

[Jared]

Anuses for eyes.

[Ryland]

Having anuses for eyes.

[Shane Dawson]

He's having that.

[Ryland]

So he just has two assholes where his eyes once were.

[Jared]

Relatable.

[Ryland]

Today I'm Ori Help, My son is doing it in the butt. I mean, can you imagine how iconic that episode would be in the 90s? The mom's like, I don't know what to do.

[Chris]

Is my son.

[Ryland]

That's a top contender for sure. Today I'm Maury, Help. My son is fucking the weatherman on live television. That would also be pretty good. That's a good episode. Today on Maury Help, My son is blowing my boyfriend so hard, he shits. Wow, that was hard for me to read.

[Shane Dawson]

That sounds like one of our voicemails.

[Ryland]

Today on Maury Help, my son is solving problems with violence.

[Chris]

It's a serious topic, guys. We need that on live tv.

[Ryland]

That's every Maury episode, okay? Today on Mori Help, my son is telling a shitty story that goes nowhere. Oh, no, that's me. I was just thinking that. Okay, the winner is doing it in the butt.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my God. I won. Yay. Wow. Well, that was actually fun. That was. I'm surprised how fun that was.

[Ryland]

I would truly like to see that episode.

[Shane Dawson]

Yes, me too. Okay. All right, well, we're gonna take a quick little break. One of us is gonna get in there soon. Swimsuit. So we're gonna get to that soon.

[Ryland]

Did you guys even bring a swimsuit or did you know you were winners?

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah, yeah, we brought.

[Chris]

I got the best swimsuit in the world, so I just wanted to show it off.

[Shane Dawson]

Ooh. Well, let's all get in our swimsuits. Yay. But first, conspiracy corner. See you in a second. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, but I promise it is worth it because I'm gonna tell you about one of the biggest summer blockbusters of all time. Twisters. No. Deadpool versus Wolverine. I just fell. Okay, I'm fine. Oh, my God. What's wrong with me? DraftKings Casino. Oh, now that's a movie I want to see in 4Dx. Okay, it's not a movie. It's a game. It's actually a bunch of non stop fun games with non stop action, including a Lister, Loki's Luck. This is a summer blockbuster you don't want to miss. Yes. DraftKings Casino is so fun. And they are giving new players 100 instantly in casino credits with just $1 wagers. And all players get a blockbuster bonus every week. So sign up with Code Grower, grab your popcorn. And It's Showtime on DraftKings Casino. I don't know what that voice was. I'm sorry. Let me go back to Ru. DraftKings Casino. In a world where we're all looking for a little bit of redemption. Check out DraftKings. Rusino, sashay these games. Seriously, Ru, don't sue me. So check out DraftKings casino use code Grower. And as always, if you have a gambling problem, please call 1-800-GAMBLER or in West Virginia, visit www.in Connecticut help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly. 21/physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only. Void in Ontario eligibility and other restrictions apply. New customers only $1 wager to earn 100 in non withdrawable casino credits that expire in 168 hours [e-mail] blockbuster. All right, hopefully you guys enjoy the rest of this blockbuster. It's a lot. There's a dunk tank. Did we already talk about that? That's happening. Enjoy the rest of the show. Bye. Hey, welcome back to Conspiracy Corner. Okay, this first one is crazy. This made me fall down such a rabbit hole. So, first of all, Sofia Vergara. Have you heard about this?

[Chris]

She was actually one of my first crushes.

[Shane Dawson]

I love her.

[Ryland]

I just can't say that.

[Chris]

Sofia Vergara. She was on Que Tienes la Raton. Oh, I used to watch it.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Ryland]

Modern Family. Now she's making a comeback on Netflix.

[Shane Dawson]

Yes. Queen. Okay, but she posted a selfie. You guys really haven't heard about this? No. She posted a selfie and immediately everybody started freaking out in the comments.

[Chris]

Not my Sophia.

[Shane Dawson]

Let me show you what her selfie looks like. And I don't blame her. I think this is something.

[Ryland]

I don't know what it is, but just let her be.

[Shane Dawson]

She looks beautiful. But just take a look at this selfie and tell me if you notice anything.

[Ryland]

It's AI.

[Chris]

Oh, did she facetune herself and it facetuned everybody? Is that what it is?

[Shane Dawson]

Look at all the people. Okay?

[Ryland]

It applied all their AI.

[Shane Dawson]

So here's the thing. So there's a couple theories about this. Number one, the first theory is that this is a completely AI generated picture.

[Ryland]

Well, she's a judge on one of those shows, right?

[Shane Dawson]

And because she's so famous, the algorithm or AI or whatever has so many pictures of her that she could literally just go to chat GBT and be like, make me a selfie where I look pretty sitting at my hosting, you know, desk.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

And it creates this. So that is one theory, which is genius. Never have to do your makeup. Never have to get Ready? Just, like, did she delete it or.

[Ryland]

Is it still up?

[Shane Dawson]

No, it's still up. Oh. She's like, oh, great. Comments. The other theory is that she used, like, an AI filter to, like, make herself look, you know, a little different, but, like, it got confused and it fucked up the whole audience.

[Ryland]

I know she didn't have disclosures from everyone in the audience from the production, so she had to blur their faces.

[Shane Dawson]

It's not blurred, though. There's, like, Instagram. There's a teeth on that girl's head.

[Jared]

It might be just lighting shadows.

[Shane Dawson]

Or maybe she just replaced the background. Yeah, maybe.

[Chris]

It doesn't change anything. I still love her.

[Ryland]

Oh, here. Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

So, yeah, that was really interesting. That made me fall down a rabbit hole of celebrity AI selfies, which I guess it's a thing right now. A lot of celebrities are doing it. I think they're just like. Their social media team is like, hey, Reese or whoever, send me a selfie. And Reese is like, I don't want to just do something. Some AI honestly smart. But yeah, fix the people in the background. Okay. This video, I don't know if I'm gonna get in trouble for this. I'm not gonna say anything. I'm playing this because Jared and Lizzie are here, and they've both kind of talked about this before on the podcast, and I thought they think it was interesting. I think it's pretty creepy, but I also don't want to get murdered or demonetized, so I'm just gonna show the video.

[Jared]

Murdered.

[Ryland]

I have to go.

[Shane Dawson]

I was gonna show the video, and then you guys can talk amongst yourself. You guys seen the doomsday mattress?

[Chris]

If there's a event that happens on.

[Shane Dawson]

Earth and parts of the world flood, they came out with a map that looks like this. Oh, wow.

[Chris]

This lady on TikTok, she compared what.

[Shane Dawson]

This map looked like to the land that Bill Gates has been buying.

[Chris]

She took the map of the farmland.

[Shane Dawson]

That he owns and overlaid it onto this doomsday map.

[Chris]

Every single dry land piece was occupied.

[Shane Dawson]

By his farmland, for instance. So California's BAS man.

[Chris]

I've been tracking, trying to tell you guys of islands.

[Shane Dawson]

See those? Yeah.

[Chris]

That little one right there, that's one of his farmlands. She did, like, some little yellow dots where his farmlands are.

[Shane Dawson]

Louisiana, Georgia.

[Chris]

That all correlates with, like, these high points in America.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. And around the world, it's super creepy. So we need to get a boat.

[Chris]

According to this map, we're good. We're almost at beachfront property, baby.

[Ryland]

Good for him.

[Jared]

You know, good for him.

[Ryland]

Good for him. If he can afford it and he knows and he has the information, go for it.

[Shane Dawson]

You are crazy.

[Ryland]

Why? I find people that are, that have it all. Inspirational.

[Jared]

Wait, is, are they saying that he has a bunker or he's buying where the doomsday devices are going off?

[Chris]

So Bill Gates has been buying up massive amounts of farmland and some people are saying it's because it'd be easier to control the food supply and so forth and so on. However, it looks like from that map, if there was a mass flood, which, which is supposed to happen any day now, according to the Adam and Eve theory, he's going to be good and that land is going to skyrocket in value. Because think about right now, it's all supply and demand. So if there's a thousand acres of land available and then it goes down to 30 acres of land available, how much more lucrative is it going to be to own that land?

[Ryland]

Not that he needs the money though.

[Chris]

I think it's probably. But it isn't like he thinks I don't need more money. People with that much money only got that way because they want more.

[Ryland]

But if it's doomsday, if everybody, everything's flooded. I think he just wants multiple options.

[Shane Dawson]

It's not. I personally, not that I believe it because I don't want to get murdered, but if I was to, you know, put on my tinfoil. Huh. Think about it.

[Chris]

Theoretically.

[Shane Dawson]

Theoretically, it, it doesn't seem like it's about money as much as it would be. Like he literally would own the world. He has like power.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah. I mean that too.

[Ryland]

And you know what I say? Good for him.

[Lizzie]

My thing though is that if I.

[Ryland]

Had all the money, I'd do the same.

[Lizzie]

But if that's true.

[Ryland]

Yeah. Own places that won't be flooded, stay alive.

[Lizzie]

But that's the thing. If that really happens, don't you think everyone else. I mean, there's more of us than there is Vim. Wouldn't we just like we'll kill him essentially. You know what I mean?

[Shane Dawson]

The other thing that said that, the.

[Chris]

Other thing it might be is maybe a bunch of realtors got together and thought, how do we boost the value of houses in these areas? And they put that map together and.

[Ryland]

Then he was dumb enough to buy it.

[Chris]

No. And now those areas are like multi million dollar houses. Because if the flood happens, you're gonna be good.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Ryland]

Good for you, Bill Gates.

[Shane Dawson]

Speaking of things I'm scared to talk about, we have a Kamala Harris theory.

[Chris]

We did it.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay. This actually is fun. So you guys know that theory that the Simpsons predicts everything, right? Like, every war, every tragedy, every celebrity moment. Like, they always predict things, right? So back when Donald Trump ran for president, you guys know the famous clip from the Simpsons where Trump was riding down the escalator and the Simpsons did it, like, 20 years ago. Okay, so this new thing happened where Kamala Harris was doing a speech and everybody was freaking out because she was wearing the same exact thing that Lisa Simpson was wearing in the episode where Lisa Simpson becomes president.

[Ryland]

Oh, this was her team.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, hold on.

[Ryland]

This is a PR from her team. Don't go back. Got from the.

[Shane Dawson]

We're turning into each other. Wow. Except I don't want to own the world.

[Ryland]

I'm not saying own the world. I'm just saying don't hate him for trying to stay safe in the apocalypse.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't think that's what he. He doesn't need the whole world to stay safe.

[Ryland]

He wants options. And you don't know who he's going to give off the other properties to. He's probably going to raffle them off.

[Shane Dawson]

You're just trying to get in good with Bill Gates.

[Ryland]

I don't give a. No. I just don't get mad when. When people get successful and live their lives. Life.

[Jared]

You know what? I don't either. Bill Gates, more power to you.

[Chris]

It's going to be a gated community.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, the whole world will be. Yeah, that's fine. Okay, so everybody's freaking out, like, oh, my God, like, she's going to be the president. Because the Simpsons are always right. They predicted this. So I think her team, somebody. Gen Z on her team or Alpha. I don't know. Somebody was just like, the Simpsons. This is such a thing. You should wear this exact outfit at your next speech. It'll go viral, and everybody will be like, well, she's going to be president. Because the Simpsons are always right. Gen Z knows about the Simpsons. I know they do. So I think that's what happened. And listen, I think partial proof for this is that Kamala is also doing something very cringy. Oh, listen, I'm not political, but it's cringey, right? It is.

[Chris]

It's not.

[Shane Dawson]

No matter which way you look at, it's doing something very cringey. Have you guys heard about the brat summer? No, I don't understand it.

[Ryland]

Listen, bananas, rice, apples and peanuts.

[Shane Dawson]

That's the diarrhea diet. That's when you have food poisoning and you can Only eat bananas, rice.

[Ryland]

I didn't know what she's promoting. Like, whole grains.

[Shane Dawson]

No, it's like an album.

[Jared]

Honestly, if Kamala was getting real about diarrhea, I'd be like, you got me, girl. All us hot girls have tummy problems.

[Shane Dawson]

No. Oh, my God. It's like a Charlie XCX album. So Charlie XCX has been around forever. By the way, her new album called Brat and she took.

[Ryland]

It's called what?

[Jared]

Brat.

[Ryland]

B R. Gosh, they're all obsessed with this time.

[Shane Dawson]

And the color is green. It's just a green album with black font that says Brat. And now everybody's taken that and turned into this movement, right? Where anything green. All the comments are like, prat, brat, Brat. Like, literally, in the last podcast, I had my green Stanley, and there was a comment that was like, shane has his brat Stanley. Or Shane's. Or. No, it's Shane. Stanley is bright brat.

[Ryland]

So this week, Sandy's brat.

[Shane Dawson]

No, that's not the wrong shade of green.

[Lizzie]

Hers is, like a neon green.

[Jared]

Even you know this.

[Ryland]

I'm the only one that doesn't know about Charlie xcx.

[Jared]

Well, the brat thing is also, like, slightly confused because it's supposed to be, like, a sloppy girl who's still having a good time or something.

[Shane Dawson]

So it's a bad thing. I think it's.

[Jared]

No, it's good thing. It's like celebrating president. Not for president, but.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, it didn't sound good. Kamala's official Instagram. This is her official. Yeah, no, this is like, a real thing. Okay, so Kamala hq. It says, welcome to Kamala hq. This is the official rapid response page of Vice President Harris's presidential campaign. So that's her with the green color. There's, like, memes of her, like, dancing, and it's like, Kamala's a brat. I don't listen. Smart for her for, like, pandering to Gen Z because she.

[Ryland]

But she's not.

[Shane Dawson]

She has no idea what the fuck is happening, right?

[Jared]

No.

[Ryland]

And she's also not a brand. Like, she's not.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, Charlie said she is, and Charlie is Brat. Charlie created Brat.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Now, listen, I just want to show you some of my favorite cringy moments. First, we have Uber Eats. They posted Brat Summer starter pack, and it's like the Uber Eats bag, and it's like, I hate it. Okay, so then the next one is coffee Bracha Matcha is Brat.

[Chris]

I think it's. I think it's actually bracha.

[Shane Dawson]

I still don't even. It didn't Sound good?

[Jared]

I'm confused by what is going on with the bracha.

[Ryland]

Crazy how fast you get old.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I was actually thinking, like, when we were younger, people would say, the next generation is going to ruin everything. I get it now.

[Ryland]

They did.

[Chris]

I get it now.

[Shane Dawson]

Bratwurst.

[Chris]

Yeah, they are.

[Jared]

No, we were great.

[Chris]

Sausage company.

[Shane Dawson]

Bratwurst isn't bad.

[Chris]

I mean, I will say that was one of the most cringe things I've ever seen in my life.

[Ryland]

And somebody on our team, real talk.

[Chris]

I'm embarrassed that that's even happening in this world.

[Ryland]

They should say, hey, this didn't work for Hillary Clinton. We should do a different approach.

[Jared]

Also google what brat means.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, man. Okay. Okay, this next one, I found this very interesting and I feel like it's a little dark. Oh, before I play it, we had a. A warning, right, that we're not saying that bombs are fake.

[Chris]

Yeah, right.

[Shane Dawson]

What? Like they're like. Okay, they're not saying that there. It's never happened. Yes, there have been bombs and. And that is real. But with that said, seen all the.

[Ryland]

You've seen all the grainy footage of nuclear test blasts that you've sure.

[Shane Dawson]

Mushroom clouds.

[Ryland]

And there are always these grainy things and there's all these, like little houses.

[Shane Dawson]

Lined up, these little trees lined up, and it blows everything down.

[Ryland]

There's always been a conspiracy theory that those were all basically fabricated at this facility, that those bombs actually were never detonated. Basically. The US Military was basically faking these bomb tests to freak out the Russians to make us think that we had weapons.

[Shane Dawson]

We had basically a potent potency toward their weapon arsenal that we actually didn't.

[Jared]

Have at the time.

[Shane Dawson]

So what happened?

[Ryland]

Okay, so this is great.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, you'll love this.

[Ryland]

So what happened to the camera? How is that happening yet?

[Shane Dawson]

The camera is like, totally stable and fine. Oh, my goodness.

[Ryland]

And by the way, in the film is fine. The radio, the radiation didn't cause any.

[Shane Dawson]

Damage to the film.

[Jared]

That's a really strong point. I shined too bright tungsten light one time at a canon camera in 2018, and it fried the sensor.

[Shane Dawson]

I literally like, can't even talk without getting like, spit on my camera. Yeah. How are we doing a blast? And the camera's just chill. That. That's a tripod. Yeah. My wiggly ass tripods would never.

[Chris]

Yeah, if it was real, I think that camera company would be bragging about it.

[Ryland]

That camera company.

[Shane Dawson]

We're not saying that bombs are fake. Oh, yeah, we're not saying bombs are fake. I'm just saying that is interesting because you hear about like the moon landing being fake because, you know, I think.

[Chris]

There is a lot of. Of proof to it possibly being fake and being used for propaganda to scare. Just like you were saying, the moon landing is interesting, keep us scared.

[Jared]

I mean, they obviously did eventually drop an atom bomb, but I think to have an edge up, or like a leg up, what is it? Whatever the fuck I'm saying is. But like to make them think like, oh, we're so fucking far behind.

[Chris]

I guess you also have to think what is more technical and what is more of an accomplishment as far as like the engineering aspect. Expect an atom bomb or a camera that could capture the atom bomb. If they make an atom bomb, they're pretty ahead technologically. So maybe they were able to produce a camera that could capture it. I don't know. I'm just saying.

[Shane Dawson]

All right, interesting. Okay, well, this one is specifically just for Ryland. This is our very first Anne Hathaway conspiracy. Okay, here we go. One of the most famous leading ladies of all time, Anne Hathaway has lived before and she is the reincarnation of one of the most famous leading ladies of the past. There's a massive conspiracy theory that Anne Hathaway's husband Adam is the reincarnation of the most famous playwright of all time, William Shakespeare. Very suspicious. And if anyone had the Illuminati power to reincarnate themselves, it's the most famous man of his time. And guess what? Shakespeare's wife was named Anne Hathaway. Whoa. Half the way we know know. And here they are all together. The theory goes that they wanted to reincarnate so they can come back and the wife could be famous in this lifetime. Maybe so she can act. Cuz women weren't allowed to act in the 1500s. Anne is very known for her poised, proper, almost old fashioned way of talking and behaving that rub some people the wrong way. But maybe it's because she's from a different time. Anne Hathaway was born on the exact day to the date of Shakespeare and Anne's 400th wedding anniversary to the date.

[Ryland]

It can't be debunked.

[Shane Dawson]

Do you feel differently about her now that her husband's Shakespeare.

[Ryland]

We've, we've talked about this before.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

And it can't be debunked.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't know. That's kind of scary. It really is scary because you think about something like Taylor Swift and no, hate to Taylor, don't come for me. But I can definitely see like in 200 years from now, like another Taylor Swift coming up and Taylor being it. Her reincarnated. I don't know. When you're that powerful, what if you can do that?

[Jared]

I love it.

[Chris]

I did just see an article that she was named after Shakespeare's wife. So it was knowingly like her parents named her after.

[Jared]

After this wife or were her parents in on it?

[Ryland]

It was written.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay. Well, speaking of Taylor Swift, I'm gonna get to a theory about PR relationships. I just think is very, very fascinating.

[Jared]

I believe in love.

[Shane Dawson]

What?

[Chris]

Puerto Rican.

[Shane Dawson]

About pr. Puerto Rican. So I'm gonna go through a couple theoried ones, and then I'm gonna get to some real ones. So first of all, Taylor and Travis. Listen, I'm not saying it's a PR relationship, because honestly, I know nothing about it. They're not even Puerto Rican. The only. They're not even Puerto Rican. The only thing I know about it is from you guys fighting about this. So the theory is not for me from the Internet. The theory is that when Taylor came out a few years ago, like, hardcore against Trump. Do you remember that she did, like, a whole documentary about it. Yeah. When she did that, she lost a lot of the audience on the conservatives, the country crowd. So to get them back, she started dating a football player who is like a king of that side. I don't know if he is, but, you know, the football audience is mostly.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

So the theory is that that was very calculated to get the people that she had lost. I'm not saying that's true or that I believe it, but it's kind of interesting.

[Jared]

I have a hard time buying it only because the only persons who. The only person whose stock went up was the NFL and Travis. Because of Taylor, the NFL became a globally. Like, nobody gave a. About the NFL.

[Shane Dawson]

No, globally.

[Jared]

I'm not talking about national. I'm talking about globally. The. And. And literally nationally. It went up because Taylor Swift started showing for sure.

[Ryland]

I mean, everyone's wife started tuning in. It was all over the Internet. You couldn't open any phone or computer without. I was. I love Taylor Swift, and I could not take it anymore. Opening anything. You're like, God damn. I know. Taylor was at a football. A football stadium.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

That she already sold out.

[Shane Dawson]

But.

[Jared]

But. But the benefit is quantifiable in favor of Kelsey and the NFL. NFL more so than Taylor.

[Ryland]

I think she still loves the attention.

[Shane Dawson]

I understand that, like, Taylor was, like, mega famous, but I do think she became more famous. I understand that, like, it grew the NFL more. But like, it wasn't like she got nothing.

[Ryland]

They both benefited, for sure. I mean, it was. It brought the NFL on. People that didn't care about the NFL's radar. But Taylor Swift also became unavoidable because of it.

[Shane Dawson]

Listen, I don't think it's fake. I just thought it was interesting. Okay, so don't.

[Jared]

I'm so passionate about it, it's embarrassing. They're in love.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, next one. Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell. This one is confirmed fake. This was literally. They had a movie. Anyone but you? Yeah, they had a movie.

[Chris]

Oh, I thought you were.

[Shane Dawson]

Point.

[Chris]

Like, don't answer this one.

[Shane Dawson]

So they made this movie. Right. It was coming out, and despite the ticket sale, Sydney Sweeney herself plotted. Glenn Powell came out and said this. She plotted them to have a fake relationship publicly to get caught by the paparazzi.

[Ryland]

She's in. She's engaged.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Everyone knew that. And she still had people believing that she was in a relationship with Glenn.

[Shane Dawson]

And it fucking worked.

[Ryland]

It did. She's a businesswoman, and she produced both of these movies, and she got people to see them.

[Shane Dawson]

Now, let me get to this one. This one I thought was very interesting. I had never heard about this before. Okay, ready? This is crazy. In 2006, Nick Lachey. So if you don't know who Nick Lachey is, he was 98 degrees. He hosts Love is Blind with his wife and a bunch of other shows on Netflix. So Nick Lachey went on a date date in 2006 with Kim Kardashian before she was really famous. There was a lot of paparazzi at the date. And in her 2010 book. I did not know that Kim had a book called Kardashian Confidential with a K. I did not know about that. So Nick Lachey talked about this on Watch what Happens Live. And he said, let's just say this. We went to a movie. No one followed us there. Somehow, mysteriously, when we left, there were 30 photographers waiting outside. There are certain ways to play this game, and some. Some people play it well. She left about halfway through. She left the date and went to the restroom.

[Ryland]

And then, shockingly, there were 25 paparazzi.

[Shane Dawson]

When we left the theater.

[Ryland]

She's a businesswoman, so she literally.

[Shane Dawson]

This is just a theory.

[Ryland]

It's not. I mean, I don't think it is. I think Kim would do whatever. She always talks about how she was like, I would do anything for fame.

[Shane Dawson]

But imagine that you're, like, going on a date with somebody, and you think it's a real date, and then paparazzi show up at the end, and you find out it was just like, Kim.

[Jared]

Filmed fucking a guy.

[Lizzie]

We just recently actually start watching the Kardashians on Hulu.

[Chris]

We went from the Chosen to Kardashians. Very random mix.

[Ryland]

Are you watching the Hulu version or Hulu?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And she did say that they're talking about, like, a deal that was going on, and she said that if this was, like, 10 years ago and her sister was offered the deal, she's like, I would do anything for her to get out of the way so I could do the deal. Something along those lines.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

And I will say this is a real thing. Like, this is gonna sound so stupid, but the first agency that I went into this is like, 2010, 2011. And I sat down, they were like, so, what do you want for your career? And I'm like, I don't know. I want to make movies one day. Whatever. And they were like. They literally had a list of girls on YouTube, and they're like, well, a lot of people think you're gay. Whatever. Like, you should date one of our other clients, another YouTube girl, have, like, a public relationship, like, make videos, do this and that. They were, like, trying to hook me up with a girl. No way. For, like, a relate. And I was like, well, what? I've never even kissed a girl. But, like. And they were just like, well, you know, it'll help. You guys both did that.

[Chris]

Real.

[Shane Dawson]

Yes.

[Jared]

Is that how you met Ryland?

[Ryland]

And here we are, baby.

[Lizzie]

That's very interesting, but see how down the other person would be, because, yeah, it would help both of you guys.

[Ryland]

And you never know. One of those could work out, right? Like, one of these couples we were talking about could have been a setup, and then they might also fall in love. Whoa.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, speaking of brat bottoms.

[Jared]

Ooh, you're definitely a brat bottom.

[Shane Dawson]

Let's get to a recap. Light, camera, action. Ryland's recap is about to happen.

[Ryland]

Ryland's recap. On today's episode of the Shane Dawson Podcast, the winner of the walk Star. Our competition is revealed, and it just so happens to be Jerry.

[Chris]

But we're all winners.

[Jared]

Well, we're all winners except for our power bottom, Spencer.

[Ryland]

Who you can see in the dunk tank in just a few minutes.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my gosh, dude. If I.

[Jared]

For those of you wondering what Spencer looks like without a chop on, stick around.

[Ryland]

Wow. Have you been waiting?

[Jared]

I've been reading the comment section.

[Shane Dawson]

Really?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

People have been asking to see Spencer shirtless.

[Jared]

Oh, Spencer, you have A whole ass fan club in that house.

[Shane Dawson]

You guys are gonna be disappointed. Wait, what about the rest of us?

[Jared]

Everyone's topless. Are we?

[Ryland]

Is it just a breastless topless Kiki?

[Shane Dawson]

Well, breast full breastless Kiki.

[Ryland]

I guess if you.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh yeah.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Shane Dawson]

Chris is the face of sleep paralysis.

[Ryland]

Ever wondered what sleep paralysis paralysis looks like? Luckily, he happens to be one of our co hosts. Chris is the new face of sleep paralysis.

[Chris]

When is bowling gonna be in the damn Olympics?

[Shane Dawson]

Yes.

[Ryland]

You can't shame the Olympics. It just isn't a sport, Jared.

[Jared]

That's where you draw the line.

[Ryland]

I'm kidding. But the 2024 Olympics are currently going down in Paris and none of these motherfuckers care.

[Shane Dawson]

It's ruining our relationship.

[Ryland]

Do you want to take that one?

[Shane Dawson]

No. Now here's the problem is now if you like walk into the office and you're like horny or you're like, hey, I'm gonna be like.

[Ryland]

I walk into the office, dick swinging hard. So I'm gonna be like, hey, did.

[Shane Dawson]

You just watch the Olympics? Are you thinking about that?

[Chris]

Oh, you're gonna be hearing splashes in the background. And then he's gonna come up.

[Ryland]

Which team do you think is the best?

[Shane Dawson]

Does that mean the one that you ejaculate to usa?

[Jared]

The honest answer from Spencer is whoever.

[Shane Dawson]

Wins, it's like he's questioning it.

[Jared]

The Olympic Olympics. Is it sports or gay porn?

[Ryland]

Gay porn for sure.

[Jared]

Are the olympics gay?

[Ryland]

Yes, 100% gay. I felt as though I was doing so. I felt like I was committing a crime watching synchronized men's diving. You know, you never want to be like watching porn and have your husband walk in.

[Shane Dawson]

It's a crime.

[Chris]

I could see a gay porn being called. Holyx.

[Jared]

Holy.

[Ryland]

How many holes can one find?

[Shane Dawson]

Wholelympics.

[Chris]

Oh, but I think nuclear bomb footage might be fake.

[Ryland]

My co host Elizabeth will take this headline. What is it? The bombs.

[Lizzie]

Bill Gates. Bill Gates Doomsday map.

[Jared]

Oh, did Bill Gates fake the nuclear bomb so that people would drive up the prices of high lands in the Sierra?

[Ryland]

Jared hate him cuz you ate him. He's buying all the land that is going going to survive the world ending. And you know what I think? Good for fucking him. Him and Melinda and do they have kids?

[Lizzie]

They got a divorce.

[Jared]

They do have kids though, right?

[Shane Dawson]

I have to land she. Oh, Team Melinda. Jared is rich now. He won the competition. Jared.

[Ryland]

If I go to like Turkish trick from Jared, we've.

[Chris]

I'm a Turkish millionaire.

[Ryland]

We have a new 5k heir. What will you be doing Jared with all this? This cash money?

[Chris]

Putting it in the bank.

[Ryland]

More Hot Wheels.

[Chris]

Let it vest.

[Ryland]

Why not the stock market?

[Lizzie]

Taylor and Travis.

[Ryland]

Oh, is it real or is it fake? People are speculating the likes of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. What was the other couple?

[Lizzie]

Sidney and Glenn.

[Jared]

Sydney and Glenn.

[Ryland]

Are they real? Are they fabricated or did they fall in love after it was fabricated?

[Jared]

Who cares? They're all rich and beautiful.

[Shane Dawson]

But are they dress like Jared. Yeah. I could buy all the land in.

[Jared]

Even bigger step news. Sandy has.

[Ryland]

Sandy has a 50k day.

[Jared]

She's gonna step around Jared's ant farm.

[Ryland]

And you know what the biggest flex of it all is? She didn't even hurt the next day.

[Jared]

She had a pep in her. Her step.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Thank you.

[Chris]

But was she some guy's uncle or.

[Ryland]

Just watching the gay Olympics?

[Chris]

I'm trying to segue this into the boyfriend, the sister's uncle.

[Ryland]

It's a little even too confusing for me. Is she the uncle, the cousin, the brother, the twin?

[Jared]

She's going up. She's going to a mo.

[Shane Dawson]

Uncle Booker Life.

[Lizzie]

Pokemon's good.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Chris]

This is live theater.

[Jared]

That might have been my best contribution yet.

[Chris]

I get 4D. I get 4D.

[Lizzie]

And Hathaway.

[Ryland]

Oh. Oh. What happened with her? Where were you?

[Shane Dawson]

We're thinking about divers.

[Chris]

Are you calling out your sister's name in bed?

[Jared]

Oh, and if you are, why hit us on the vagina? I'm really bad with recaps and it gives me anxiety.

[Ryland]

All right, we've got to let this pregnant woman go. Thank you, guys.

[Jared]

Rihanna can do a Super bowl pregnant. And I can't even do a Rylan recap.

[Ryland]

All right, well, I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast. Make sure you hear shop your Shane dawson merch. Shane dawsonmerch.com. follow all of us on YouTube and Instagram. Everything's linked in the description section below. See you right here in two weeks on the Shane Dawson podcast. Good night, everyone.

[Shane Dawson]

Good night. Away, guys. Go. That was our Olympic sized episode. Everybody, let's go out to the tank. Get your Speedos. Okay, we got our brat ball and we got our donkey. Look at it. Oh, my God. Spencer, are you ready for this? I'm ready. Okay, so, Jared, do you want to take the first.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Shane Dawson]

And then I'll do it. And then we'll all do it. And then. Jared, you have swim trunks on. Are you gonna do it too?

[Chris]

I was just trying to flex because my dogs are on them. But, I mean, does it make you feel like some camaraderie if I do it, too?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, I think so.

[Chris]

I was hoping you'd say no. Yeah, if you guys got extra towels, I'll get in the dunk tank. All right, but only one throw each, guys.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay. Spencer, you want to go get up there? Oh, my God, there's a window.

[Jared]

All with grace and dignity.

[Chris]

Are you sure you're okay with Rylan watching this?

[Ryland]

There's no Speedo. Diving would be a really good tool.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Chris]

All right. Should I go?

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Dang it. Was it from here? This is really far away. Yeah, we're gonna be here all day. Okay. Oh, my gosh. Someone else.

[Jared]

Come on, Sandy.

[Ryland]

I feel it's gonna be me.

[Shane Dawson]

Sandy. Sandy. Sandy. Oh, that was close.

[Ryland]

You got this, Rylan. I actually believe you will get it for some reason. The problem is it's hard to see.

[Shane Dawson]

First drop.

[Ryland]

Yeah, I thought Spencer said we were gonna have to pull it.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, it's pretty nice, actually. I really do.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't know why, but I knew it.

[Ryland]

Like, when you walked up, I'm like, you got this. I felt it, too, actually. I called it too. I said, did it hurt?

[Shane Dawson]

No, it's just really surprised. It's just like. It's like even though you know it's coming. Yeah, you went.

[Ryland]

Oh, wow.

[Chris]

Did it do it when you got on it?

[Shane Dawson]

All right, ready? All right. All right, Rylan, come on, bring it in.

[Chris]

All right, go for it.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, are we just gonna throw it till I get dunked? Is that the goal? I hit it.

[Chris]

I just. It's too much for me.

[Shane Dawson]

Just go for the right. Oh, my God, the hat's floating. How was it?

[Chris]

It wasn't bad.

[Shane Dawson]

All right, guys, go. Hopefully you enjoyed the Walk Star competition.

[Chris]

You gotta be sick to get out of this.

[Shane Dawson]

There's a step to your left here. Oh, okay.

[Lizzie]

To your left.

[Chris]

Disoriented.

[Shane Dawson]

Hope you enjoyed whatever hell that was. Bye.