Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories! Billie Eilish, Hawk Tuah, and The Red Rooms!!

Summary

The Shane Dawson Podcast: "Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories! Billie Eilish, Hawk Tuah, and The Red Rooms!!"

Release Date: August 4, 2024

Join Shane Dawson and his close-knit group of friends as they delve into a fascinating mix of personal anecdotes, playful competitions, and intriguing conspiracy theories. This episode, titled "Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories! Billie Eilish, Hawk Tuah, and The Red Rooms!!", offers listeners an hour of unfiltered conversation, humor, and thought-provoking discussions.

---

1. Personal Life and Parenthood

The episode kicks off with Shane sharing updates about his life as a parent, highlighting the challenges and humorous moments that come with raising children.

• Shane Dawson [02:17]: “Being a couple of daddies has really been life-changing, but also just completely ruined the taste level of our house.”

Ryland and Sandy chime in with their experiences, discussing the overwhelming presence of baby items in their home and the adjustments they've had to make.

• Ryland Adams [03:19]: “We've gotta work on the baby proofing. We gotta get the pool fence. We gotta do all of the things.”

2. Swap Meet Adventures

Shane transitions into sharing stories about recent ventures to swap meets and yard sales with Jared and Sandy. The group reminisces about the quirky characters they've encountered and the unique items they've come across.

• Shane Dawson [03:48]: “Which is honestly like a bougie yard sale.”

A memorable moment involves Chris receiving a collectible Shrek memorabilia from Jared, adding a layer of nostalgia and humor to the conversation.

• Chris [07:53]: “That is unopened, very highly collectible. But I would say use it.”

3. Walk Star Competition Update

The friends discuss their ongoing Walk Star competition, sponsored by Raycon, where they track their daily steps with the chance to win a $5,000 prize.

• Shane Dawson [08:38]: “Sponsored by Raycon. Go to buyraycon.com grower today to get 15% off of your Raycon order plus free shipping.”

Each member shares their step averages, leading to friendly competition and camaraderie.

• Chris [09:25]: “I will say that I have only one day where I have not hit 20,000 steps. Yeah, only one day.”

4. Big Brother-Themed Game

In a lively segment, Shane and his friends recreate a condensed version of the reality show "Big Brother". They introduce houseguests, participate in competitions, and navigate alliances and evictions—all within the podcast setting.

• Shane Dawson [16:18]: “Epic. So if you guys aren't aware, my favorite show of all time has just come back.”

The game introduces various dramatic twists, including nominations, veto competitions, and eventual evictions, keeping listeners engaged with the unfolding drama.

• Ryland Adams [35:07]: “Darling, I thought we were friends. We're gay.”

5. Conspiracy Corner

The heart of the episode lies in the "Conspiracy Corner" segment, where the group explores several pop culture conspiracy theories:

A. Jamba Juice Logo Rebrand

Shane presents a theory that Jamba Juice’s new logo contains hidden sinister symbols, suggesting a deeper, possibly malevolent intent behind the rebranding.

• Shane Dawson [53:15]: “Do you notice anything suspicious about Jamba Juice's brand new logo?”

B. The Hawktua Girl Distraction Theory

The discussion shifts to the viral sensation known as the Hawktua girl, positing that her sudden internet fame is a strategic distraction from significant political events.

• Shane Dawson [55:28]: “So to get us to stop talking about, you know, maybe a president who's getting really old, who everybody's like, he needs chapstick.”

C. Mary Poppins and Pennywise Connection

An unexpected theory suggests that Mary Poppins and Pennywise the Clown are from the same universe, proposing that both characters belong to the same species with divergent feeding habits—joy for Mary and fear for Pennywise.

• Shane Dawson [59:15]: “Both Pennywise and Mary Poppins can create light. Pennywise creates a light source called the Deadlight. Mary Poppins lights up lamps during the song Trip.”

D. Lyme Disease as a Bioweapon

The group delves into the unsettling theory that Lyme disease was engineered by the government as a biological weapon, explaining its widespread impact and mysterious origins.

• Shane Dawson [62:12]: “There is a theory that Lyme disease was created by the government to be a weapon and some ticks got loose.”

E. Pickle Theory in Relationships

An amusing yet intriguing theory is discussed, where compatibility in relationships is tested based on one partner's love for pickles and the other's aversion.

• Shane Dawson [63:56]: “If you are in a compatible relationship, one person likes pickles, one person hates pickles, and they will give the pickles to the one that likes them. That is the compatibility test.”

F. Red Room Theory

Addressing more sinister themes, Shane explores the terrifying concept of the Red Room—a dark web phenomenon where live snuff films are purportedly broadcasted to paying viewers.

• Shane Dawson [65:15]: “The Red Room theory is a room on the dark web where people can watch live snuff films.”

G. Rodent Boyfriend Phenomenon

The hosts humorously analyze the trend of attractive male celebrities resembling rodents, questioning whether this is a deliberate distraction tactic.

• Shane Dawson [67:24]: “Every famous guy right now... they all fit the stereotype of looking like a rodent.”

6. Recap and Closing Thoughts

As the episode draws to a close, the group reflects on their Big Brother game, teasing future competitions and expressing their eagerness to continue engaging with their audience.

• Shane Dawson [73:10]: “What was Julie doing on the floor?”

They also touch upon their continuous conspiracy discussions, leaving listeners with lingering thoughts and invitations to share their own theories.

• Shane Dawson [75:02]: “If you are a compatible relationship... that is the pickle theory. And let us know in the comments if this is real for you in your relationship.”

---

Notable Quotes

• Shane Dawson [16:18]: “Epic. So if you guys aren't aware, my favorite show of all time has just come back.”

• Ryland Adams [35:07]: “Jerry, we all gotta kiss up to him. Cause he's hoh.”

• Shane Dawson [53:15]: “Do you notice anything suspicious about Jamba Juice's brand new logo?”

• Shane Dawson [62:12]: “There is a theory that Lyme disease was created by the government to be a weapon and some ticks got loose.”

• Shane Dawson [67:24]: “Every famous guy right now... they all fit the stereotype of looking like a rodent.”

---

Conclusion

This episode of The Shane Dawson Podcast masterfully blends personal stories with engaging competitions and a deep dive into a variety of conspiracy theories. From the playful reenactment of "Big Brother" to the unsettling discussions about hidden messages and bioweapons, Shane and his co-hosts offer a captivating listen that balances humor, suspense, and intellectual curiosity. Whether you're a longtime fan or a new listener, this episode promises both entertainment and intrigue.

Transcript

[Shane Dawson]

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Upgrade your business with Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet. Shop pay boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning fewer carts going abandoned and more sales going cha ching. So if you're into growing your business, get a commerce platform that's ready to sell wherever your customers are. Visit shopify.com to upgrade your selling today. Have you guys heard of the Hoktua girl?

[Ryland Adams]

Yes.

[Shane Dawson]

So here is the theory.

[Ryland Adams]

She's a plant.

[Shane Dawson]

Not just a plant, a distraction. So as you guys. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. You have no idea. Well, I was trying to figure out a way to introduce a show. I feel like I have to start right off the bat explaining why I'm dressed like Britney Spears. It's really crazy from the Oops, I Did It Again video. Okay, listen, I just wanted to take more risks this year. Fashion wise. It might not pay off. It's very hot. It's like fake leather. It's very, very steamy. And I. I might have a fashion switch at some point in the show or I might pass out.

[Chris]

It does look like something that you would wear if you're trying to cut weight before a fight or something.

[Spencer]

It does, it does.

[Shane Dawson]

You know, interesting choice of words because I am. Because we are.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

But we'll get to that in a second first. Hi, everybody. Hello. Hello.

[Ryland Adams]

So how did we get from Britney Spears to whatever's happening with Spencer?

[Shane Dawson]

He's somebody that Britney Spears would date. That's so true. Just very, you know, colorful. Off the wall. Tiger. Shir Tiger. That is under some sort of spell.

[Ryland Adams]

And I'm Brittany's assistant. Super gay. Chris is like the cameraman for the music video.

[Sandy]

Well, and then also the circus album. Oh, yes, the tiger.

[Chris]

I look like a clown.

[Shane Dawson]

It's perfect. And Sandy, I feel like you're the money girl. Like you manage Britney's finance.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, wait a minute.

[Shane Dawson]

No, not your manager.

[Ryland Adams]

Safe.

[Chris]

You're the conservator.

[Sandy]

I'm pr. You know, something like that.

[Shane Dawson]

Pr. Pr. That's better. Yes. Okay. Sorry. Welcome back. This is a lot. There' there's also something else we need to explain. I don't know if you can see it in Chris's angle, but there is a very, very large baby playpen taking up this entire podcast set.

[Ryland Adams]

Listen, we have two babies, so I had to get the extra, extra large. And I thought, screw the podcast. The babies are the priority.

[Sandy]

I love it. I think it's gorgeous.

[Shane Dawson]

Let me show you guys, like, just What? This is, like. This is crazy. So. Yeah, that's. Listen, we don't really talk that much about having kids because I didn't want to turn into, like.

[Ryland Adams]

I mean, I do.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, you do, but I didn't want to turn into that. I'm like, I don't know, whatever. But I feel like we do need to talk about this because it's taking over the room.

[Spencer]

It looks like if one of us is, like, bad performance, we get, like, sent into, like, jail or something like that.

[Chris]

It is so large that the light has to be placed inside of it to work.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, it's cool. Listen, you know, being a couple of daddies has really been life changing, but also just completely ruined the taste level of our house.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, yeah. I said, see it in 18 years house. Because it literally is every. Every single room is slowly being taken over. And soon enough they're gonna be crawling and then walking. And I'm sure the walls are gonna be filled with crayons, marks, and paint.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. We have had multiple people tell us, like, your house is, like, problematic for living. There is, like, sharp edges everywhere. They're gonna be putting their tongues on the electrical outlets. Like, it's gonna be.

[Ryland Adams]

I mean, we've gotta work on the baby proofing. We gotta get the pool fence. We gotta do all of the things.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. And I need to throw away all these clothes. I don't want them to see daddy like this. Okay. So we have. We have so much going on. Jared, you and Sandy recently went to not a yard sale. You guys switched it up and you went to a swap meet.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Which is honestly like a bougie yard sale.

[Chris]

I think depending on the area you go, it could be very bougie. The one we went to, I would say so bougie, not so bougie. I think there's pockets of it that feel upper scale, I will say, but there's pockets of it that feel less than, you know.

[Shane Dawson]

I will say that there was a clip in that video where you were talking to one of the guys that worked there and there was a vibe. I don't know. No, he was, like, very, like, almost shirtless and, like, sweaty and like, you.

[Chris]

Guys were like, oh, the fan guy? Yeah, that guy was great.

[Shane Dawson]

He's just charismatic. I was like, are they. What the fuck right now?

[Chris]

You know, I mean, I felt a spark. I didn't engage in anything. He offered me a great deal, but, yeah, it was very fun.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Ryland Adams]

Hot.

[Chris]

Very hot.

[Sandy]

Very hot.

[Shane Dawson]

So the reason I bring this up is because I love talking about your guys. Swap meet and yard sale ventures.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

But you have a little surprise.

[Chris]

He wanted to swap meat. Oh, my God. It was late. It was a late one, but it came to me.

[Shane Dawson]

Swap meet is such a good gay porn website. Started. Whoa. Yeah.

[Chris]

Why not?

[Jared]

When I was a baby, I technically worked at a swap meet.

[Shane Dawson]

What does that mean, when you were a baby?

[Chris]

You have to get us there.

[Jared]

Kind of, sort of.

[Spencer]

Are you saying no?

[Jared]

My parents worked at a swap meet for a long time, and they would use my childlike cuteness to sell items.

[Shane Dawson]

What did they sell?

[Jared]

One was like a shower head. One was like a mop. They would, like, have me in, like, a kitchen sink and be using, like, whatever it was to clean me and be like, see? Look how cute he is. And people would come.

[Ryland Adams]

Daddy works great.

[Jared]

He's a cute baby. And then they'd sell things.

[Chris]

There you go.

[Jared]

So I was a working baby.

[Shane Dawson]

What are you pointing at me for?

[Ryland Adams]

You. We were shopping the other day, and I was like, ooh, banana chapstick. I tried that brand. It sucks. And I look over and you've not only stolen my banana chapstick, but you're using it.

[Shane Dawson]

Because I couldn't find my actual chapstick, and it was the only thing in the house nearby that I grabbed.

[Ryland Adams]

You're a fraud. Toss it over.

[Spencer]

Oh, my God.

[Ryland Adams]

Give it to me.

[Shane Dawson]

You're a fraud. My lips need to stay moist in the podcast. If they're not moist in the podcast and glistening in the camera, then what are we even doing here?

[Jared]

Honestly?

[Shane Dawson]

Thank you. Joe Biden needs chapstick.

[Chris]

That's a T shirt. That's a T shirt.

[Ryland Adams]

And I just cut that with one hand.

[Jared]

That was incredible.

[Shane Dawson]

That was good. You could be vice. Listen, I'm not political, but he motherfucker needs chapstick, and I'm sick of not talking about it.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, you've been holding it in.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't. I don't know who's in charge. Charge of hair and makeup or who's in charge of it, but they need to put a little Vaseline on the lips. They get a little dry, and I think it's what's not helping him.

[Ryland Adams]

Both candidates need to fire their makeup artists.

[Chris]

It's not looking good. I could just see them stressing out after Joe Biden's speech, and someone needs a cigarette. Like, where do I strike this match?

[Shane Dawson]

Thanks, President.

[Chris]

They're dry. They're sandpaper.

[Shane Dawson]

Low grade. Oh, my God. You're like, oh, my God. I got this scratcher at a gas station.

[Chris]

They're useful, I guess. You know what? Maybe they're more useful than they are today. Disgusting to look at.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh my God.

[Chris]

I'm not trying to be rude. We're trying to help. Here's the thing.

[Ryland Adams]

I was feeling bad about dragging Joe Biden, but then I was like, this man is still chugging along to have the most powerful position in the entire world. So, like, we can make fun of the man.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think everybody's on the same page with that.

[Ryland Adams]

But I think about it in any other context. If you're making fun of any other 89 year old. How old is he? Yeah, it's real true.

[Spencer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris]

He's elderly.

[Jared]

They're the oldest men to ever run for office. Yeah.

[Chris]

Wow.

[Shane Dawson]

Honestly.

[Jared]

And they had set that record, I think, the last time they ran. So they beat their own record for the oldest men to run for office.

[Ryland Adams]

Woo.

[Shane Dawson]

Yay.

[Sandy]

Yay.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, so anyways, back to the point. Jared, you have a surprise.

[Chris]

Oh, I do. We actually, at this SWAT meet, I ran into something that I could not live without because I wanted to gift it to somebody very special here on the podcast. I know there's a favorite movie of somebody in here that happens to be Shane Shrek. And we found a.

[Spencer]

Wow, thank you so much.

[Ryland Adams]

Don't kill it, dude.

[Chris]

That is unopened, very highly collectible. But I would say use it.

[Spencer]

Yeah, no. Wow, thank you so much.

[Shane Dawson]

Shrek is iconic.

[Chris]

And look how, look how like sexy he's trying to be on the box. Right there.

[Shane Dawson]

He is.

[Chris]

Well, no, like he's laying down on the very top.

[Spencer]

Oh, wow.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. Look at that.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, Shrek.

[Shane Dawson]

That is me.

[Spencer]

Must sell by July 2009.

[Chris]

That only speaks to the collectability of it.

[Spencer]

Yeah, no, it does, right?

[Shane Dawson]

That works a lot.

[Spencer]

Original. Wow. Thank you guys so much. That's so nice.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, guys, we have an important update. This is our two week walk Star competition update. But first, the song the walk star competition.

[Ryland Adams]

Get off your ass and get in the game Get a cash prize and.

[Shane Dawson]

Bragging rights Send rise to Internet fame.

[Ryland Adams]

Stop being a lazy fucking. Get up, get moving, get your body groovin One step at a time we're gonna go far who's gonna be the watcher?

[Shane Dawson]

Sponsored by raycon. Go to buyraycon.com grower today to get 15% off of your Raycon order plus free shipping. No, seriously. Thank you. Raycon. They are sponsoring this. They are giving us a grand prize of $5,000. To who? Ooh. Showing the racket oh. So yes, Raycon sponsoring $5,000 prize is on the line. We only have a couple more weeks left, but let's do an update. So who here is willing to share their current weekly step average? I know you might not want to because you want to. You.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, I don't care. Jared and Sandy are very secretive.

[Jared]

Shane, what are you going to do? What are you going to do with the $5,000 when you win?

[Shane Dawson]

Hey, I have hope. I really do think that somebody else could get that.

[Ryland Adams]

Shane's having like shin splinter, so he's calming it down a little.

[Chris]

Yeah, I feel like we are in a five round championship fight and I'm using stamina, letting you punch yourself out, hoping that in the last you might have to take a little break. Because right now I'm seeing your numbers. It's looking rough for us.

[Shane Dawson]

Really?

[Chris]

You had your first 40,000 step day. I did the math. I would have to walk every almost waking moment of my day to get there. But how about this? I will say that I have only one day where I have not hit 20,000 steps. Yeah, only one day. And I got very close to 20,000. And as of right now, my highest day and it's close to my second highest is almost 28,000.

[Shane Dawson]

Whoa.

[Chris]

Last night we actually went to Disneyland. It was meant to be a date night to have a good time, maybe go on a couple rides and whatnot. We ended up walking 20,000 steps. Yeah, we all we did was walk the park and just sweat.

[Sandy]

Well, we did.

[Chris]

Walking around, sweating.

[Sandy]

We did go to the cantina. Enjoyed a little drink, a little pretzel.

[Chris]

We did.

[Sandy]

And some churros. So I don't know how calorie wise it best gets to go to Disneyland.

[Chris]

We had to get fuel. We had to get fuel.

[Sandy]

We did walk a lot. I think we walked it at least like, what, three or four times?

[Ryland Adams]

What better treadmill than Disneyland?

[Chris]

What we were saying, because what we're doing right now is we have our walking pads next to each other and we just watch tv. And as we were walking, I literally said, I feel like we're just on our walking pads. But instead it's like, hey, what's in front of us? That's what we're watching right now. You know, it's like it's life.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Chris]

Crazy.

[Shane Dawson]

Once we all have VR headsets and walking pads, we don't have to go anywhere.

[Chris]

That's the goal.

[Shane Dawson]

But yeah. Sandy, how do you want to share your.

[Sandy]

Oh, so my highest, highest day, I want to say it was Actually yesterday either had like a high 25, 000 or low 26. That was my highest.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay. Claps.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And I will say just a side note, we were gonna go on a ride and it said There was a 45 minute wait and I said, no, no, that's 4, 000 steps. I'm gonna guess we cannot go on that ride. What do you think we're doing here at Disneyland?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, walk. Yeah.

[Sandy]

Towards the end we looked miserable.

[Ryland Adams]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

Cuz it was so humid and hot and. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris]

She asked me like three times, do I look like I'm sweating and lie the first couple times. The third time I was like, yes, you're listening.

[Sandy]

But I feel like we realize that it takes us about 35 minutes to walk around Disneyland. That's how fast we were walking.

[Chris]

I want to, I want to map out 10,000 steps of Disneyland and offer that to people. That's how you can get 10,000 steps in.

[Shane Dawson]

Spencer, how are you doing?

[Spencer]

I feel like I'm like, I've been disappointed in myself this past.

[Shane Dawson]

No, no, no.

[Chris]

Feel good about it. Feel good about it.

[Spencer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sandy]

What's your numbers? What's your numbers?

[Spencer]

We were filming a video and Jared is sitting here like, what are your numbers, Spencer? And I was telling them they're like looking at each other like, not too bad, not too bad.

[Chris]

We were worried about Spencer, actually.

[Sandy]

We were very worried.

[Spencer]

I was just saying. So my problem is I'll have like yesterday I had my biggest day at 28,000.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Spencer]

But then the day before that I only got like 5,000. So like I have like, I'm not consistent. I'm not like Garrett. I'm like, I'm either feast or famine. I'm like all in or nothing. And it's not.

[Ryland Adams]

And what's going on on the days that you have nothing?

[Spencer]

How did I forget? Or I don't know, sometimes I get back late.

[Chris]

No, no, no, Spencer, you need. It's very important. Just reach out to me. Dude, if you ever need to talk on the rest day, I got you. It's for your mental health.

[Shane Dawson]

I appreciate it, Chris. So since you're on the outskirts. Yeah.

[Jared]

I'm trying to walk more just to be healthier, but I know there's zero chance I'm winning.

[Shane Dawson]

So if you had to take a bet, who do you think is gonna win and who do you think is the dark horse?

[Jared]

Definitely you. 100%. I'd put money on it.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Jared]

Definitely. Jared, could I just feel like of anyone in the room he seems the most determined and, like, I don't know, he has, like, strategies, and I see him posting a lot about it.

[Chris]

What's going on, everybody? Little late night walk? You know what it is?

[Jared]

He seems passionate. The most passionate about it, I would say.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, I guess we'll find out in the next episode. In two weeks, the winner of the Walk Star competition will be revealed, and this will all be over. If you're sick of hearing this, it.

[Chris]

Has consumed our life.

[Sandy]

Oh, my. That's all we do is just walk?

[Chris]

Yes.

[Shane Dawson]

Really? Honestly, it's my new Animal Crossing. Like, Animal Crossing was my life. It was my obsession. And this is such a more healthier version of that.

[Ryland Adams]

I love this version of us.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Well, are you doing good, Ryland? I need to know.

[Ryland Adams]

I'm doing the same as I always do. I'm averaging about 15 a day.

[Chris]

Oh, dude, that's great. That's perfect. I wouldn't even go over that. It's not good for you.

[Ryland Adams]

If I'm being honest, I haven't put any effort into stepping it up. Instead, I just go to workout classes.

[Chris]

All right, well, no, dude, it's working for you.

[Shane Dawson]

Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. Please hold on. Don't go anywhere. I'm in a rocket, baby, and I want you to come with me. Come explore, see the world, See all the money that you're wasting, all the subscriptions that you should be canceling, all of your credit that you should be notified of. Rocket Money will do all of that and more. Yes. I love Rocket Money. If you don't know who they are, let me explain. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you cancel subscriptions, lower your bills, and manage your money better. I guarantee you, if you look, looked at your phone and saw all the things that you were subscribed to that you had no idea that you were still subscribed to, you'd be shook. Do people even say shook anymore? I don't know, but I'm feeling it. But you know what? I don't love unwanted subscriptions. With just a couple taps, Rocket Money will take care of that. They will unsubscribe from all these unwanted services that you have. And I know what you're thinking, okay, what is that, like a couple bucks? Just in canceling unwanted subscriptions alone, Rocket Money has saved their customers $500 million. That is crazy. They also save their customers up to $740 a year. They also help lower your bills. This one's incredible. All you got to do is take a picture of Your bill sub. And with just a few taps, Rocket Money will help negotiate to get your bill at its lowest possible rate so you don't have to call and be like, hey, is there any way we can lower this phone bill? No. Rocket Money will do that for you. So to save more and spend less, join the over 5 million other members using Rocket Money today. Just go to RocketMoney.com grower or click the link in the description to get started for free. And you can even unlock more features with premium. That's RocketMoney.com grower. To get started for free, please check it out. If you haven't already, give it a try. It'll really help. It'll help you save money. And who doesn't want. All right, thank you so much, Rockin Money, and I hope you guys enjoy the rest of the show. Bye. Speaking of competition, guys, I am so excited. Me and Spencer came up with this idea the other day, and I soaked the treadmill. I slipped. That's how excited I am. We are about to do something that I have wanted to do for my entire life, and we're doing it today, kind of.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Shane Dawson]

Epic. So if you guys aren't aware, my favorite show of all time has just come back. This is not sponsored by by them. Oh, my God. Guys, it is Big Brother season, okay? If you don't know what Big Brother is, it's the best show of all time. You should be watching it. It's on CBS. I've been watching it for 26 years. Me and Jared used to watch it together. Me and grandma watched it together. If you don't know what it is, basically Julie Chen Mundes, who's an icon, she hosts the show. And every summer they have this house, and the house is covered in cameras. And you can watch all the house guests on a 24 hour day live feed. I literally watch them sleep and I can hear them, and you can watch them on a 24 hour live feed. And during the week, they have a competition. There's a head of households. One of them gets evicted every week. It's so much drama. It's so good. So I thought today we could play Big Brother in one day.

[Ryland Adams]

So one week of Big Brother in one day.

[Shane Dawson]

Yes. So we have it all planned out. We have competitions, we have evictions. It's all happening right fucking now. Are you guys ready? So here's how we're gonna do number one. Rylan, Goody. You are. Oh, that was good. You are gonna fulfill your fantasy of becoming Julie Chen today.

[Ryland Adams]

This is everything and more that I've ever dreamt of. Dreamt of.

[Shane Dawson]

Wait, where's your wig? I got you a Julie Chen wig. Did you not bring it out? Okay, we have some things to get. We have Ryland's Julie Chen costume, which we're gonna get. We also have some prizes, some punishments.

[Jared]

I'm excited.

[Ryland Adams]

What are we competing for? Just so I know as Julie. Julie.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, well, first, let me get you into Julie. Spencer, can you run and grab?

[Ryland Adams]

Let me get you into Julie.

[Shane Dawson]

While he's doing that, let me explain the rules and how this is gonna work. Has anybody here not seen Big Brother?

[Sandy]

I've never really seen it. I think I've seen clips of it, and that's it.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, so here's how it works. We are all gonna be house guests, even Julie Chan, because we want you to play too.

[Ryland Adams]

Right?

[Shane Dawson]

Okay. So we're all houseguests, right? And we all are gonna enter the house, which is just right here. We're gonna introduce each other. We're gonna meet for the first time, pretend like we don't know each other. We all have to come up with, like. Like what our characters are. So, like, you know, they always have their nerdy one. The outcast, the jock, the hot girl, the dumb guy. So we have to kind of choose what we're gonna. Oh, my God. Him walking in with that.

[Ryland Adams]

I also love that this is a mix of Gale Weathers and Julie Chen.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. My favorite two queens. Wow. This is a lot.

[Ryland Adams]

Thank you.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. So we're all gonna meet each other introduced. Right. Then we have our first hoh competition. So if you don't know what that is, that's head of household, and the head of household has a big job. They have to put up two of the houseguests for elimination.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, well, now you're getting into drag race.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh. For eviction. Oh, my God. So then once there's two of the houseguests up for eviction, then we're gonna have some fun. We have some Big Brother things planned. We have some things we're gonna taste. After that, we're gonna play the veto competition. If you don't know what that is, every week, there's the veto comp, and whoever wins it can change one of the nominees, which means somebody else is going up as a replacement nominee. Okay. After that, we have our two final house guests up for elimination. Then it's time to campaign those two. Oh, my gosh.

[Ryland Adams]

I'm not ready for my reveal.

[Spencer]

You look like Russell Brand.

[Shane Dawson]

Literally. Yes. Oh, my gosh.

[Ryland Adams]

I wasn't ready for my reveal.

[Shane Dawson]

Keep going. Okay, so then we have, you know, the two and they have to campaign again against each other and explain to the other house guests why we should vote for them to stay. Then we do the anonymous vote where.

[Ryland Adams]

Black hair really makes my eyes pop.

[Chris]

Dude, I'm trying to follow this right now. Please don't distract me. Okay, we got the anonymous vote.

[Shane Dawson]

The anonymous vote. Then one of the players is evicted from the house and they have to leave and take their bags and get the out. Now in our game, that evictee that evicted house guest will be faced with the biggest challenge yet. The brand new cherry Slurpee filled Twinkies.

[Sandy]

That's the punishment I'm losing, you know?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

What?

[Shane Dawson]

You don't think that sounds disgusting?

[Jared]

I want it.

[Chris]

I'll need it right now.

[Jared]

In and around my mouth.

[Chris]

Really?

[Ryland Adams]

I should have gotten the punishment. I was slurpee and there were mustard flavored doritos.

[Spencer]

Oh, yeah, I saw that sounds disgusting.

[Ryland Adams]

That sounds good.

[Chris]

Ugh.

[Shane Dawson]

You guys want this?

[Jared]

I do.

[Spencer]

Should we get scared of other management?

[Sandy]

I'm curious.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, well, I guess then we're all playing to lose. Okay. So Julie, do you want to introduce us to our opening night?

[Jared]

I can't. Look at Rylan.

[Shane Dawson]

Julie.

[Sandy]

Julie.

[Jared]

Sorry.

[Chris]

Julie.

[Ryland Adams]

Yes. Okay. Good evening. I'm Julie Chen Moonves and tonight is the premiere of Big Brother. This is the summer of the unexpected and boy, oh boy, can you expect just that. With 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 new houseguests entering for a 15 minute season of Big Brother, you are all in for a treat.

[Shane Dawson]

Woo wa wa wa wa wa wa.

[Chris]

Wa wa wa wa.

[Shane Dawson]

What's the song?

[Ryland Adams]

In just moments, all six houses will be entering the big Brother house. Shane, Jared, Sandy, Spencer, Chris and Ryland, you can now enter the house.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh my God. I can't believe I'm finally here.

[Ryland Adams]

You gotta be first. I'm not being first. First to go in the house is first to be evicted.

[Shane Dawson]

Urban legend. Oh my God. Look at all the cameras. Oh, how am I gonna fart?

[Ryland Adams]

Open the fridge, Sandy.

[Sandy]

Wow, there's organic vegetables in here. I love it.

[Shane Dawson]

Cvs. Really? They did that for us? Thank you, cvs.

[Sandy]

Thank you. Julie.

[Ryland Adams]

Is it hard for you to determine when I'm Ryland and when I'm Julie Chen Moon?

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, yeah, you can take off the wig when you're Ryland. Okay, there we go. Oh, my God.

[Ryland Adams]

Looks like a scarf is dope.

[Spencer]

Just like Ryland.

[Shane Dawson]

I thought you were gonna be the gay one. There's always one.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, yeah. I'm the gay dad and I'm gonna be fucking vicious. Just cause I have kids at home doesn't mean I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna cut all these bitches in the back.

[Shane Dawson]

No, you're gay. Why are you talking? Chris, you be gay. You're the gay one. Actually, Jared, you be the gay.

[Chris]

Okay. Oh my gosh. This has been my whole life. I can't wait. These bitches don't even know what's coming.

[Shane Dawson]

Yes.

[Chris]

Right.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, I'm voting for him to win.

[Ryland Adams]

Houseguests, gather in the living room.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh my God. That's Julie.

[Jared]

I love her.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh my God, Julie, you look so beautiful.

[Ryland Adams]

Thank you, Shane. Okay, everyone, I'm going to need you to introduce yourselves, okay?

[Shane Dawson]

Hey, everyone. My name is Shane. I am a YouTuber. I've been through a lot. Yeah. And yeah, I'm just here to win for my family, for my kids. And I just want to show them that. That daddy can do something. That's what I'm here for.

[Chris]

Whatever. I'm jeed. I do what I want when I want. Huge fan of Big Brother. Been watching it my whole life, even though I'm only 23. And I'm just here to and maybe start an alliance or two.

[Sandy]

Hi, I'm Sandy. I'm just very easygoing. I just kind of walked up on stage here and they said, do you want to be in this show? And I was like, yeah, I totally am really into like organic materials, vegetables. And I can't wait to win. So I can give it all away to charity to better the world. And I just want to make friends.

[Shane Dawson]

You have to have seen Big Brother because there is always the hippie.

[Sandy]

I just figured there has to be one, so.

[Spencer]

Yo, what's up, guys? I'm Spencer. I like to play a lot of sports. Football. I'm sort of a jock in high school, but maybe I'm not as dumb as I look. I feel like that's the type of.

[Shane Dawson]

Guy that was really good with the shirt. It's really working.

[Jared]

I'm just going to be me. Hi, I'm Chris. I'm a videographer. Movies are my life. I love the show. I've been watching it forever and I'm playing for my famous holy.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, okay.

[Ryland Adams]

Hey, guys, I'm Rylan. I'm the gay dad. I'm a little bit homophobic.

[Shane Dawson]

No, we already have one. We already have one.

[Ryland Adams]

I'm a little bit homophobic. Wow. Don't try to come at me with any of that gayness that Jerry is serving, or I might have to say a slur.

[Shane Dawson]

There's always a homophobic one. Keep going.

[Chris]

Perfect.

[Ryland Adams]

And although I had kids, like I said, I'm not afraid to stab any of y'all motherfuckers in the back.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Shane Dawson]

Whoa. Julie, do you want to introduce. Introduce us to our first competition?

[Ryland Adams]

Yo, what is it?

[Shane Dawson]

Actually, I'll explain the competition, but you just. You just say it's hoh.

[Ryland Adams]

Houseguests, get ready. The first person of the season to gain power of the entire house is happening right now. Everyone gather in the backyard for the first HOH competition.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, so the HOH will win a obviously power of the house. They'll get to make all the big decisions, but they also get something that everybody on Big Brother gets when they win hoh, which is their own HOH robe. Now, this iconic robe was. I used puffy paint. It's not quite dry. So just be careful. Don't get your hair in it because it might get stuck. So, yes, there's the robe. Okay, first competition. Are you guys ready? This is a legit Big Brother game. I'm so excited. Okay. Okay, here we go. We are going to play what the bleep? Okay, Julie, do you want to explain what. What the bleep is while I'm getting it?

[Ryland Adams]

Yes. Houseguests, the first competition of the season is about to begin. This is titled what the bleep? Now you'll all find your whiteboards and dry erase markers. We will play a video that one of your cast members has said in the past, and you must finish the sentence with the correct word. Anyone who is not correct will be eliminated, and the last person standing will be crowned this week's hoh. Wait.

[Shane Dawson]

This is so fun.

[Jared]

I'm so excited.

[Shane Dawson]

So these clips, none of us have seen these. There are five of them, and each clip has a different word bleeped, and we have to write down what we think the.

[Ryland Adams]

You don't think I explained it well? No, it was literally so clear.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, then maybe. Okay, maybe you did. Maybe you did. Listen, on Big Brother, they also re explain things multiple times because they know the audience.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, cut to Shane's diary room.

[Jared]

Why does everyone scream in the confessional?

[Shane Dawson]

Because 80. This is the thing about Big Brother. Not even a third. Literally, the audience for Big Brother is US and 80 year olds. So Joe Biden and us. So they explain things multiple times. They scream in the diary room. They do, because old people are watching and they're not catching up.

[Jared]

That's so Funny.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, here we go. Here is our first. What the bleep?

[Jared]

We talked about this. It takes, like, a lot. I don't get very easily. So it doesn't bother you? Yeah. Whoa. I don't remember what I said.

[Shane Dawson]

One more time.

[Sandy]

Yeah, one more time.

[Jared]

We talked about this. It takes, like, a lot. I don't get very easily, so.

[Shane Dawson]

Also doesn't bother you.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, this is hard.

[Jared]

I have no idea. I don't remember either.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't get fucked.

[Ryland Adams]

Kate Morton.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my God. I don't know.

[Chris]

What if we all get it wrong?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. So instead of that, maybe it's points.

[Spencer]

Yeah, you get a point because we're doing a bunch of rounds. Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Can we watch it one more time?

[Jared]

We talked about this. It takes, like, a lot. I don't get very easily.

[Shane Dawson]

So you said. I did. Context clues. Kati Morton is the guest. She's a therapist.

[Chris]

There is a context clue. I'm not gonna say out loud, but if you missed it, you missed it.

[Jared]

Oh, I missed it.

[Shane Dawson]

You missed it. Okay, ready?

[Ryland Adams]

Houseguests reveal your answers in three, two, one.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, what did we say? Ryland, hard. Chris.

[Spencer]

Sad. I said jealous.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Sandy]

Offended.

[Chris]

I said bother. Because then she mirrored what he said. I believe and said something about being bothered.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, okay. I said butt fucked.

[Chris]

I think you're right.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay. Okay, here's the uncensored version. Are you guys ready? I'm still having so much fun.

[Jared]

Okay, we talked about this. It takes, like, a lot. I don't get bloated very easily. Bloated.

[Shane Dawson]

I literally almost said bloated.

[Chris]

Me too.

[Ryland Adams]

Wow. I was, like, being bloated.

[Sandy]

Yeah. I would never guess that, man.

[Ryland Adams]

Nobody got it. Nobody gets a point.

[Chris]

Dude, I was thinking it too.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my gosh.

[Spencer]

Okay.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, this is exciting.

[Spencer]

You're the right first letter, Jared.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, here we go. Next clip.

[Chris]

And I actually drove by a car the other day and had a sticker and it said hopelessly addicted to.

[Shane Dawson]

I was like, why are you putting.

[Chris]

It on your fucking car, dude?

[Shane Dawson]

Wait, what? I remember this. Hopelessly addicted to. Oh, my God. Hopelessly addicted to.

[Chris]

I think I know what it is.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, fuck.

[Chris]

Jared is my favorite character on the show.

[Ryland Adams]

So I remember how guests lock in your answers.

[Shane Dawson]

No idea.

[Ryland Adams]

Ryland, love.

[Jared]

I don't know. I didn't write anything. I don't know. I have no idea.

[Spencer]

Spencer fries.

[Shane Dawson]

Ooh, honks.

[Chris]

I even put a plus one on mine because I know I got this. Hentai.

[Shane Dawson]

I put cucks. Okay, wait. I Think you're right, because now I'm remembering.

[Chris]

I think. So it's either that or anime.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, let's see.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, and I actually drove by a car the other day and had a sticker and it said, said hopelessly addicted to hentai. Yes, yes, yes.

[Shane Dawson]

You were gonna say tentacle porn.

[Chris]

I was.

[Sandy]

See, in here, I thought because it was a bumper sticker, it was gonna be something related to cars.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, here's our next clip. Here we go.

[Ryland Adams]

Somebody that has like a bunch of next to anything on their phone, like, that stresses me out. I think that's valid.

[Shane Dawson]

I know.

[Chris]

Wait, wait.

[Shane Dawson]

What? What?

[Chris]

You gotta play it again.

[Ryland Adams]

Somebody that has like a bunch of next to anything on their. That stresses me out. I think that's valid.

[Chris]

Ooh, I think I know it too.

[Ryland Adams]

I think everyone will get this.

[Jared]

Not this idiot.

[Chris]

Well, you got to write something.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay. Ryland notifications.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, that's better than notifications.

[Chris]

I think this is the same thing. Numbers. Oh, cuz it's numbers.

[Shane Dawson]

It was short the way he said it. Yeah.

[Chris]

Oh, I put a plus one amb. Ambitiously.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Sandy]

I put unread email emails.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, okay.

[Sandy]

Kind of.

[Chris]

Wrong notifications.

[Jared]

Oh, widgets.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, widgets. What?

[Ryland Adams]

What?

[Jared]

It's a thing on an iPhone.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, okay. Oh, I get it. I get it. Okay, here we go.

[Ryland Adams]

The answer is somebody that has like a bunch of numbers next to each other.

[Spencer]

Oh, my God.

[Ryland Adams]

No, it.

[Chris]

Knew it.

[Shane Dawson]

No.

[Chris]

Knew it. Are we doing characters and stuff, right?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Knew it. Knew it.

[Shane Dawson]

You're Dooley, right?

[Spencer]

That's what they cut out of this. That's what they cut.

[Shane Dawson]

By the way, like, you're smart. Because notifications is a big word. Not that he doesn't know the big words, but he would go, I literally do know the big words.

[Ryland Adams]

But Jared has two. The only one.

[Chris]

Let me cook, let me cook, let me cook. Jerry Jereed.

[Ryland Adams]

Jerry.

[Chris]

Say it right. Batch.

[Ryland Adams]

Don't talk to Julie. Said Moonfest like that. Jared is currently in the lead with two points. And here is your next clip.

[Shane Dawson]

Here we go. Is it weird that I never think about the fact that we're. Maybe I should. But like somebody on your, like, wedding video. Somebody who's just like, I'm so happy that everybody in the city office was, like, nice to you guys, even though you're too. And I was just like, oh, I guess people do disagree.

[Ryland Adams]

Shane's like, that's my wife, my girlfriend.

[Shane Dawson]

I'm confused. All right. I know it. Do you need it again?

[Chris]

Yes.

[Ryland Adams]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Is it weird that I never think about the fact that we're too. Maybe I should but, like, somebody on your, like, wedding video, somebody was just, like, I'm so happy that everybody in the city office was, like, nice to you guys. Even though you're too house guests, please.

[Ryland Adams]

Lock in your answers.

[Chris]

J's not feeling confident.

[Ryland Adams]

We are live. J, we need.

[Jared]

Am I allowed to write three?

[Ryland Adams]

Your answer.

[Chris]

Not. Not confident.

[Ryland Adams]

Ryland. Guys.

[Shane Dawson]

Me, two guys. Oh, guys.

[Sandy]

Guys.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my God. Gays.

[Ryland Adams]

I put gay, too.

[Shane Dawson]

F slurs. Not yet.

[Jared]

That was one option. F slurs.

[Shane Dawson]

All right, let's see what it was. Is it weird that I never think about the fact that we're two guys?

[Ryland Adams]

Dang.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Ryland Adams]

So who got it? Shane, Jerry, Jared, Sandy, and Spencer.

[Spencer]

No, I said gays. I was one letter off.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

I said the four of us think about.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh.

[Chris]

What?

[Shane Dawson]

I think Jared might have already won, but we're gonna play one more round. Okay. You guys ready?

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Spencer]

And it's like, do you really deserve. I know what it is, Spencer. I didn't hear them yet. I hear you.

[Sandy]

Come on here.

[Chris]

You're losing it.

[Shane Dawson]

You're losing it.

[Spencer]

We're losing our room anyway.

[Shane Dawson]

I do.

[Spencer]

Okay. I.

[Shane Dawson]

Everywhere.

[Spencer]

Every time I see your guys reactions, it gets worse.

[Chris]

Jirene's about to deliver the death blow.

[Shane Dawson]

Ew. You really think that one through.

[Sandy]

I feel confident about this one.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Ryland Adams]

Ryan. A tip.

[Shane Dawson]

Tip.

[Chris]

A tip.

[Sandy]

Tip.

[Spencer]

Tip.

[Jared]

I'm very wrong.

[Shane Dawson]

Help. Help.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Shane Dawson]

No idea.

[Sandy]

He deserves the help at the end.

[Spencer]

I say I help. I help people.

[Shane Dawson]

Not bad. Okay. I believe. Well, Julie, do you want to announce.

[Ryland Adams]

Is that what it was? Tip. We didn't.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, we didn't watch.

[Jared]

It was.

[Spencer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, do you really deserve it to.

[Ryland Adams]

I mean.

[Spencer]

I know I do.

[Ryland Adams]

All right.

[Shane Dawson]

Honestly, my favorite moment, I think, ever on the podcast. That was so iconic. Oh, my God.

[Spencer]

I stand by that. I think if you have to go up to a counter and, like, you don't deserve it.

[Ryland Adams]

It's just. It's just bold to say on a date.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

No, I mean, I realized that as soon as you guys would.

[Chris]

Oh, that's like farting on a person. You know what?

[Ryland Adams]

I can. I can respect you being who you are up front. You know, I'd rather learn. I'd rather learn that in the first moment.

[Shane Dawson]

Right.

[Ryland Adams]

Everyone agrees.

[Shane Dawson]

You're right.

[Spencer]

She even agreed with me when we went on that second date. She was like, you know, you're right.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, okay.

[Chris]

Whoa.

[Ryland Adams]

Throwing her under the bus in second Place. Shane, Sandy, Ryland, and Spencer, all with.

[Spencer]

Oh no, I'm in third.

[Shane Dawson]

Who cares about places?

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, whatever. Chris lost, shocking me. Okay. And the. The winner of tonight's head of household competition is. Jerry.

[Shane Dawson]

Whoa. Duh. We all gotta kiss up to him. Cause he's hoh. Oh my God. Jerry looks.

[Ryland Adams]

How knew you would win? You have just a few moments before tonight's nominations. After the break, Jerry will be nominating two house guests for eviction.

[Chris]

I'm in the diary room. Oh, I cannot wait for these people to suck up to me. I can already tell they feel fake, so let's see what they say. Trying to get this boat.

[Ryland Adams]

Jerry, Jerry. Us gay guys got to stick together. We got. We got to get out the straights because you know, it's always game never wins.

[Chris]

Big brother, let's start an alliance early on and let's win together. Back in the diary room. This idiot thinks we're starting an alliance. Yeah, right. I'm going to use him like some toothpaste and and just spit him out.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, now I'm in the diary room. I really think Jerry and I are gonna go the distance. And honestly, I can feel the connection. I'm in with him. I'm ride or die. I'm gonna take him to finale night.

[Shane Dawson]

I love that you just turned into Cartman. Keep it going cause it's fucking good.

[Sandy]

I can do what I want, bitch.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, Jirene, guess what?

[Chris]

I get a sweat. That was so hot. Adorn me with my gown.

[Spencer]

Yo, that's probably going to look really good on you, Jerry.

[Shane Dawson]

I'm going to pee my pants. Jerry, here's your hoh row. Be careful.

[Spencer]

Don't get it on the couch.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh my God. Or else Julie will kill you.

[Ryland Adams]

No.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh my God. No. Watch out.

[Spencer]

Watch out.

[Shane Dawson]

Wait, you're be careful at all.

[Ryland Adams]

J.

[Spencer]

Be careful. You lost it. Oh, Zer Zerb. Sandy has it.

[Ryland Adams]

Is Jerry faking being gay? He can't even put on a robe.

[Shane Dawson]

He could have taken off his jacket so he doesn't pass out, but he's decided to use both. Oh, my God.

[Sandy]

Be careful, cuz it's not dry.

[Ryland Adams]

House guests, house guests, we need you in the family room.

[Sandy]

Oh, Jared. Here, I'll walk with you to the. To the meeting. Let's go together. I'll make sure you don't get it.

[Ryland Adams]

Everywhere in just moments.

[Shane Dawson]

Don't suck up to that.

[Ryland Adams]

We're on live broadcast in just moments. We will be turning to Jerry to get his eviction nominations. Jerry, now is the time.

[Chris]

Okay. So I'm going to nominate Ryland. Throw a little rich.

[Shane Dawson]

What?

[Ryland Adams]

Bro, I thought we were friends. We're gay.

[Jared]

We're gay.

[Chris]

We're just a couple of. There ain't room for both of us here. Okay. I can tell you play the game. I don't need that. My other person, I think they're faking being dumb.

[Spencer]

What?

[Shane Dawson]

Spencer, bro, I thought we were homies.

[Chris]

You about to be homeless.

[Shane Dawson]

That was iconic. Jerry, I love you in the diary room.

[Chris]

Maybe I made a mistake.

[Ryland Adams]

I just thought Jerry and I were really close and I really thought our.

[Shane Dawson]

Two are finally alliance was going to work.

[Chris]

I had to show these who was boss immediately. Don't step to this. Don't mess with this diary.

[Sandy]

There was a lot of tension on stage today but I'm so glad that jeed won and I can hopefully become an alliance with him.

[Shane Dawson]

A showmance. Diary.

[Spencer]

Diary. Oh, I think it was pretty messed up cuz I actually am homeless making fun of my situation.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. Kick him out of the house.

[Chris]

Diary. If I win again, Shane's next.

[Jared]

Diary room. Sandy seems like she wants to get with jireed but jerid's very homosexual so I don't know what she's thinking.

[Chris]

One more diary. And I need a new robe. Cause they tacky. They used icing for the soh and it don't even taste good.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my God. Wow. Jireen for president. Oh, my God.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, houseguests, it is time.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my God.

[Ryland Adams]

For the veto competition. Winning the veto means that you can save yourself and take somebody off the chopping block. And in that case scenario, Jerry would be forced to nominate another person getting more blood on his hands. Tonight's veto competition will start in just moments. Houseguests, truly, what's the veto competition?

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, this is another big brother classic. This is a guess the number game. So I'm going to show you an item and we have one minute, only 60 seconds to guess and write down how many we think is inside. Now this is very on theme with the grower and farmer thing of the show. Here we go.

[Jared]

Diary room. I did really bad in the last competition so I have to do good in this competition or I'm in trouble. But I'm terrible.

[Ryland Adams]

You're not nominated for elimination.

[Jared]

This is my diary room. Why are you talking? And I'm not good with numbers so I'm gonna do even worse than this. I'm very nervous.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, everybody, here we go. Guess how many baby carrots are in this fake Stanley.

[Jared]

This is my nightmare.

[Ryland Adams]

Don't spin It.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, everybody write down what you think.

[Spencer]

No.

[Chris]

Shit. I can't. I can't reach it. But it's okay. I have it in my head. I'll just say it out loud.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, here's the twist.

[Spencer]

No one knows.

[Shane Dawson]

No one knows because we're all playing. So I just dumped a bunch of baby carrots in here, so nobody knows how many. We're gonna have to count them. But really quick, let's all read our numbers.

[Ryland Adams]

124.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, wow.

[Chris]

Ooh, good guess.

[Jared]

82.

[Spencer]

89.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my God.

[Sandy]

67.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Chris]

114.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my God. I put 50. Am I an idiot? I just figured I only dumped, like, one and a half bags, and I'm like, there couldn't have been that many in a bag, but maybe.

[Ryland Adams]

And if you go too high, are you out, or is it just the closest?

[Shane Dawson]

It's the closest without going over.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, you could have told me that price is Right.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, we're gonna take a quick little break, and when we come back after I pee and somebody counts these carrots, we will reveal the winner of the veto. Stay with us.

[Ryland Adams]

And we're back. Spencer, please reveal the number of carrots that were in the jar.

[Spencer]

Okay. The number was 176 carats.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh.

[Ryland Adams]

Has won the power of V. Wait, what'd you vote?

[Shane Dawson]

What'd you guess?

[Ryland Adams]

124.

[Shane Dawson]

I thought you guessed more than that.

[Ryland Adams]

Nobody was higher than that.

[Chris]

I guess won 14.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, Ryland won.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Ryland Adams]

So Ryland has now secured the power of veto, and we're all curious to see what he will do with it after the break.

[Shane Dawson]

Really quick. I'm so mad. I literally have a veto necklace. Like, I bought one from cbs.com a couple years ago, and it's at the Colorado house. So Spencer picked up a nice replacement. So this is the bling Money money necklace veto.

[Ryland Adams]

This is gonna be hard to be me and the veto and Julie. So you might have to be Julie for a minute. Okay.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't wanna hurt you. It's heavy.

[Ryland Adams]

Just come on.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, God.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, yeah. Take this, Jerry. Suck my balls. This power of Vito feels so good. And this is for my kids at home. I told you I was gonna stab motherfuckers in the back. And Jerry is going down. That motherfucker can lick my balls. Rylan's an actor, you fam.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, so I'm gonna explain the veto. Just look at Julie while I do it. Okay, ready? Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Ryland has won the power of veto. In his shocking turn of events, Rylan can take off one person from the block, including himself. Who will he decide to take off the block? And who will Jared decide to replace on the chopping block? Let's go back to the house. House guests.

[Ryland Adams]

Hey, Julie.

[Shane Dawson]

Rylan, congratulations on winning the power of V. Thank you.

[Ryland Adams]

I'm so excited for Jared to have to get more blood on his hands.

[Shane Dawson]

Ooh, spicy. Okay, Rylan, let us know what you're deciding to do with the power of veto.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, Julie, this was not a tough decision at all. Obviously, for my kids. I'm taking myself off the veto so I can bring home that $750,000 home to them. Lick my balls, Jerry.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, Jerrid, you have an important decision. One of the spots is empty, and you must replace it with a fellow house guest. Who do you choose as the replacement nominee?

[Chris]

First off, Ryland wishes these lips would be on them balls. Ain't gonna happen. As far as a replacement, that's easy, Chris.

[Jared]

Why was that easy?

[Shane Dawson]

Chris, please get up and take a seat on the block.

[Jared]

Okay, green screen me getting up and sitting on top.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, so the nominees for eviction are. Spencer and Chris. In a few moments, we will have the live eviction ceremony where you will all vote anonymously for the houseguests to be evicted. But first, we have a special treat. A Big Brother legend. Get ready for you all to try slaw. Okay, if you don't know what this is. I've been wanting you to try this much whole life. Slop is what they make the Big Brother house. Oh, what the sound they. Oh, they make the big. They make the Big Brother houseguests eat this. If you lose a competition, you become a have not, and you can only eat slop for every meal. Now, it is very mysterious what's inside of it, but from the recipes I've seen, it's pretty much steeled oats, oatmeal, and unflavored protein powder. So everybody, we're gonna be scooping out some bowls of slop for us to try.

[Ryland Adams]

Should we just eat for breakfast anyway?

[Shane Dawson]

Now, be careful because we didn't have protein powder, so I used creatine powder, and I don't think you're supposed to have that much. It might be heart rate.

[Sandy]

Sounds safe. Wait, do we have to eat it now?

[Chris]

I'm getting couscous.

[Shane Dawson]

Is it bad? This is what they eat. They have to eat it for three meals a day.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, yeah. So if you become a have not, then this is all you can eat.

[Shane Dawson]

And you can spruce it up with, like, cinnamon or like, you know, ketchup.

[Ryland Adams]

Ugh, ketchup.

[Jared]

How close do you think this is to what they eat?

[Shane Dawson]

It's very, very close.

[Sandy]

Do we just see?

[Ryland Adams]

Can they put peanut butter in?

[Shane Dawson]

I like it.

[Ryland Adams]

Cause if they could put peanut butter in this, it's a luxurious luxury meal.

[Shane Dawson]

I think it's good.

[Chris]

Ooh, the texture's good, but, like, for.

[Shane Dawson]

Every meal and your shits.

[Sandy]

Well, that's why they leave the cameras in the bathroom. This is what they're eating.

[Ryland Adams]

Honestly, what I have for breakfast, really bland.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's kind of.

[Shane Dawson]

Imagine, though, with maple syrup. Yeah, that'd be the move.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

Peanut butter.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow. Okay, Julie. Oh, here. Do you want to be Julie?

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, yeah. House guests, it is now time for the live vote and eviction. One by one, you will all enter the diary room to cast your anonymous vote. Everyone but Jerry will be voting, and Ryland will only vote in the event of a tie. But first, each nominee will have their chance to sway the house guests. Spencer, why should you stay in the Big brother house?

[Spencer]

You know, I feel like I've come to love all you as a family member, and I think I proved this round that I am in fact, as dumb as I sound and I look. And I think I'd be a valuable asset to manipulate and turn against your enemies later on down the line. And I'm homeless. Please don't. Please let me sleep here.

[Ryland Adams]

Thank you, Spencer. Chris.

[Jared]

Well, I've lost literally every competition, so I'm no. I'm no competitor to you.

[Spencer]

I'm not.

[Jared]

I'm nothing to worry about. You know what I mean? So if you take me to the end, I definitely won't. I definitely won't beat you. Also, I'm one of the only gay people in this house besides you. There's too many, and I think it's.

[Spencer]

Half of the people are gay.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay. With that, it is time to begin the live vote and eviction House guests. Because this is in podcast form, Ryland, Shane, and Sandy will determine the fate of either Spencer or Chris. We are going to do this mafia style. So write on your boards and when I, Julie, call your name, you will reveal who you have chosen to evict. Ryland, please open your eyes and cast your vote to evict. Thank you, Ryland.

[Spencer]

Julie should host mafia sometime.

[Ryland Adams]

Shane, please open your eyes and cast your vote to evict. Thank you, Shane. Sandy, please open your eyes and cash your vote to evict. Thank you, Sandy. Everyone gather in the family room. I have big news for you all. With a vote of 2. 2. 1. Spencer, you have been evicted from the Big Brother house. Please gather your belongings and meet me outside the Big Brother house.

[Jared]

I thought for sure it was me.

[Spencer]

Wow. I'll remember this, you guys.

[Ryland Adams]

Yo, Speecher. I just think Chris would do whatever I wanted him to do, and I didn't think I could manipulate you in the way I could manipulate Chris. So you had to go, brother.

[Sandy]

Yeah. And, Spencer, I mean, I know I support the homeless, but your shirt has the demonic dog on it, and it just really threw me off, so I had to go with Chris.

[Ryland Adams]

And I really wasn't thinking about how you didn't have a place to go after this house. Or maybe I would have kept you here.

[Spencer]

Well, I have something to reveal. I'm actually rich. There was a play the whole time.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow. Plot twist. I voted for Chris. And don't worry, I'm out. I love you. I'm so sorry, sweetie. Because the Chrises always win. Sweet. Nice. Not good at the games, they stay around to the very end, and at the very end, they win everything. And they're like, guess what? I've been playing you, and I don't trust it.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay. Spencer, thank you for joining me outside of the Big Brother house. Did you have a good experience?

[Spencer]

Yeah, I guess.

[Ryland Adams]

Yes.

[Spencer]

I. I mean, not really. I didn't leave pretty early, but you were, Julie, you were a dream to work.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, for more on my interview with Spencer, please see our Instagram account, Big Brother, and my Instagram, Julie Chen Moonves from outside the Big Brother house. Good night and love one another.

[Shane Dawson]

All right, loser, try your chair. He's Slurpee Twinkie.

[Spencer]

I'm also one of the only other people I think thought it was a punishment.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow. Can I just say, that was so fun. Can we play that again? Let us know in the comments. Do you want us to play that again?

[Jared]

I. I feel like that feels incomplete. I want to know who wins.

[Shane Dawson]

I know. Me too. Do you want the next round? Oh, God. Oh, yeah.

[Spencer]

It literally smells like a Slurpee. It doesn't smell like.

[Sandy]

We're just jealous over here.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Wait, open it up. No. Ew. It looks like a hot dog. Pink is my favorite flavor.

[Spencer]

Oh, no, it's all right.

[Shane Dawson]

Really?

[Spencer]

I wouldn't pick it out, but, like, not bad, huh? We have some if everyone wants to try it.

[Jared]

I want to try it.

[Ryland Adams]

It's just a bunch of sugar.

[Shane Dawson]

Now I know I do feel, like, blue balled, because I'm like, I want to see if Jerry takes it all the way.

[Jared]

I know Jerry's gonna win.

[Shane Dawson]

Twanky.

[Chris]

It's good.

[Ryland Adams]

Jerry likes it.

[Jared]

I kind of like it.

[Sandy]

It's good. It just makes me want a real Twinkie, though.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. Wow. Well, there you guys go. That was us playing Big Brother. If you want us to play it again or continue the game, please let us know in the comments.

[Ryland Adams]

So everyone that gets kicked out just has to sit somewhere else for 30 minutes?

[Shane Dawson]

No, they get to play Julie.

[Ryland Adams]

That's fun.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my God, Spencer. Is that Julie? That would be amazing.

[Spencer]

Have to watch more episodes of Big Brother.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, we're gonna take a quick little break and we're come back conspiracies. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. Please don't leave. You don't want to miss my set. Oh, that's right. I'm back on stage performing all my hits. It's hard being a pop star. It really is. Oh, the constant scrutiny. The Illuminati begging me to join. But you know what the best part is? Seatgeek. That's right. Today's episode is sponsored by seatgeek. If you don't already know, let me give you some advice. If you want to save money and you want to get tickets to the hottest concerts of the year, I'm talking Billie Eilish, Sabrina Carpenter, Noah Khan, Niall Horan. He's back. The best place to get the best prices is so they take all the tickets from all across the Internet, they put them in one place, and they rank them for you. So if you look, say you check out the Sabrina Carpenter tickets and you're like, ooh, what seat do I want? You'll see these little dots. If they are red, that means don't get this ticket. It's whale free, overpriced. If you see a green dot, that means ding, ding. It's good to go and you are saving money. So many of you guys have emailed me saying that you have used SeatGeek and that you've got your concert tickets with them. Ryland has used it. Rhineland, literally. I would say at this point, he should be an investor in the company. That's how much he's used it. It really is the best place on the Internet to get tickets. Also, it's not just concerts. Pretty much any event that involves a ticket, they will have. So they're gonna hook up you guys with a very special deal. So if you don't already have it, download the SeatGeek app. I'll put the link in the description description and use code GROWER10 to get 10% off of your order. And this is for everybody. This isn't like a only for new customers thing. This is for everyone. That's code grower. 10 for 10, percent off of your order. So check out Seatgeek and see what's going on over there. I like to just explore. Like, I didn't even know that Sabrina Carpenter was on tour yet until I saw this. I can't wait to see, like. Oh, my God, her tickets must be almost sold out. Hurry up. Wow. Ryland's definitely going to go to that, like, 10 times. Thanks, Seatgeek. All right, enjoy the rest of the show. Bye. Hey, welcome back to Conspiracy Corner. Okay, get ready. We have some crazy ones today. I'm so excited. First, we have a big announcement. There is a food company that might be doing something evil.

[Ryland Adams]

All of them?

[Shane Dawson]

Yes. I'm just gonna show you their new logo and you tell me if you notice anything a little bit different. Here is a new rebrand for Jamba Juice.

[Jared]

Jamba.

[Sandy]

Not Jamba Juice.

[Shane Dawson]

Do you notice anything suspicious about Jamba Juice's brand new logo?

[Jared]

I didn't. I can't even notice the difference.

[Spencer]

I mean, it is funny. They took juice off the name.

[Shane Dawson]

It is weird.

[Spencer]

It's called Jamba now.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, no, now it's called Jamba. Smoothies, juices, bowls. You know, very short and sistine. I don't.

[Ryland Adams]

I can't tell anything.

[Shane Dawson]

Huh.

[Chris]

I get it.

[Shane Dawson]

You see it?

[Chris]

See six, six, six.

[Shane Dawson]

Yes. If you look to the side, There is a 666 next to Jamba.

[Ryland Adams]

What?

[Chris]

And you know what? I knew something was going on there because they stopped using the clear, good, sturdy cups and now use plastic cups that I hate.

[Shane Dawson]

It's the mark of the beast. I hate it. And when you have the cup and it says Jamba on it and you turn it to take a sip. Six, six, six. Now, listen, here's my thing. Do I think this is, like, on purpose? Yes. Don't sue me. Jamba. This is just a theory, but listen, anytime there's a celebrity singer or whatever who's struggling, they're having a hard time. And then out of nowhere, they rise and they get number ones and they're famous and all these things happen. The theory is that they sell their souls to the devil. So I'm just saying name a more struggling brand than Jamba. Oh, wait. And now that they've reinvented themselves, now that nobody wants carbs, nobody wants sugar, so they're like, what do we do? Maybe.

[Ryland Adams]

You know what's pretty impressive? Is that they stood. They're still standing. You know like frozen yogurt came and gone and Jamba is still there and all it is is sugar.

[Shane Dawson]

You know what's impressive? That me as a 17 year old thought that getting a peanut butter mood every day after school was healthy.

[Ryland Adams]

Those were good though.

[Shane Dawson]

They were like 1500 calories for one. They're so good. Don't come for me, Jamba. I'm just kidding. Obviously. Okay, so I usually don't talk about stuff like this because I'm not on TikTok and whatever but even I somebody who is only on reels heard about this. Have you guys heard of the hawktua girl?

[Jared]

Yes.

[Chris]

I've only seen the. The words in things but I have no idea what they're talking about or referring to.

[Shane Dawson]

Have you seen this?

[Ryland Adams]

I haven't seen it. I heard somebody on a podcast another like 30 year old being like trying to. To understand what it was.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, well let me show you the clip that made her famous. What's one move in bed that makes a man go crazy every time? You got to give him that H2 and spit on that thing.

[Chris]

You get me?

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, so that's it. So that went viral and now she is famous. She has a manager, a lawyer, a team. She did an interview where she's like oh my team over there. I mean it's a lot. She was getting offered movie roles, merch.

[Jared]

And she had like a reality show or like off maybe going to have supposedly.

[Shane Dawson]

Although there is also rumors like that she lost her job. She's a teacher. She said all that's fake. It's not real really.

[Ryland Adams]

So somebody made that narrative for her.

[Shane Dawson]

Literally. So also if you haven't heard, there are songs that were created using Haktua.

[Spencer]

Pretty good song.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, pretty good.

[Chris]

That's hard.

[Shane Dawson]

There's memes that were created using haktua and Spencer's favorite movie movie. You're a monster. I'm not the monster here. You are.

[Spencer]

You and the rest of that fairy.

[Shane Dawson]

Tale trash poisoning my perfect world.

[Chris]

Now tell me, where are the others?

[Shane Dawson]

Oh my God. Okay, that's good. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Okay, so here is the theory. Now listen, I am sure she's a very sweet girl. If she wants to come hawk tua all over our couch, that would be great. But there is a theory floating around. I don't believe it.

[Ryland Adams]

She's a plan.

[Shane Dawson]

Not just a plan, a distraction. So as you guys know, there's an election coming, a big one where a lot is at stake and nobody knows what to do and everything's a mess. Right? So to get us to stop talking about, you know, maybe a president who's getting really old, who everybody's like, he needs chapstick. Maybe. Maybe.

[Ryland Adams]

That's definitely what everyone says.

[Spencer]

That's our number one problem.

[Ryland Adams]

We're not worried about the state of America. We're worried about the chapstick.

[Shane Dawson]

On the nominee Joe Biden. Hawk to us, like, in every speech, like, on accident.

[Chris]

I don't spit sand.

[Shane Dawson]

It's like the fucking the white chicks clips. I remember that you breastfeed like this. Okay. Anyways, so, yes. So the theory is that she is a distraction that was put on the Internet to get every Gen Z voter to stop thinking about the election and to focus on something else. Now, you might think this is stupid, right? She has completely taken over the Internet. She's taken over everybody's attention. But not only is she a viral sensation, but very, very quickly, within hours of her being viral, she now has hawk to a 2024 President merch that everybody's buying. Which, by the way, side note, shout out killer merch. It's my merch company.

[Jared]

Is it?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

They really jumped on her that quick.

[Shane Dawson]

So she has merch out there once again, taking attention away from the election. Maybe people are going to start to write Hawk to a down on the ballot. I don't know. But I'm just saying this happens every election. A few months before it. Something goes viral that takes everybody's attention because there hasn't been something this big on the Internet in, like, a long time.

[Spencer]

Such a small. Like, even Jared said, like, that's it. Like, that's the whole clip. It's just her saying that in one of these annoying videos.

[Ryland Adams]

How can we be a fan of her from that? I mean, it's a cool. It was like a good moment, but it's like we don't know who she is to make her, like, our new icon.

[Spencer]

Do you think when she goes to, like, hook up with, like, guy now, it's like, are you gonna do it?

[Shane Dawson]

That is dark.

[Spencer]

Yeah, it's like she, like, ruined giving both jobs for herself.

[Sandy]

I'm curious on how far she's gonna go, because that girl, what's her name? Cash me Out, Cash me outside girl. She's like, super famous and she super rich.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, she. She spun it into rap.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, she's good in it.

[Sandy]

Well, maybe she'll go become a country singer.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, well. Shout out Hawk to a girl.

[Sandy]

I love how we don't even know her name. Hawk to a girl.

[Ryland Adams]

What's her handle? Is that her Instagram handle? Hawk Toa.

[Spencer]

I think it's her name.

[Shane Dawson]

I think it's Haley Welsh. Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

[Jared]

Haley Tua.

[Shane Dawson]

I love it. Okay, now this theory. This is so fun. When I heard this, I thought it was a joke. And then I started doing research and it freaked me. The fun out. There is a theory that Pennywise the Clown is based on Mary Poppins and that they are from the same universe.

[Ryland Adams]

What?

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, let me explain. Mary Poppins and Pennywise belong to the same species, except Mary feeds off children's joy and Pennywise feeds off their fear. So if you don't believe me, let me give you some more insight. Both Pennywise and Merry Poppins can create light. Pennywise creates a light source called the Deadlight. Mary Poppins lights up lamps during the song Trip. A little light fantastic. I don't remember that one. Okay. They both enjoy singing and dancing to either inflict joy or fear on the children. So if you remember Mary Poppins, she sings and dances penguins and whatever. Yes, Pennywise. And they both float. One floats away. Mary Poppins with her umbrella. And one uses balloons and makes you float in the water. You're the same person.

[Jared]

I believe this.

[Shane Dawson]

So I don't know. Rewatch Mary Poppins and think about the fact that it is probably like her fucking creepy uncle.

[Spencer]

It could even be the guy and girl version of the same species.

[Jared]

Whoa.

[Shane Dawson]

And they both like scar children like Mary Poppins. Imagine how scary that would be. Like she comes in with her bag of never ending tricks and she's doing all this crazy fucking magic and singing and like, it creeped me out. Now I know why.

[Ryland Adams]

Because Mrs. Doubtfire.

[Shane Dawson]

Don't you dare come for Ms. Doubtfire.

[Ryland Adams]

No, I love Mrs. I'm saying, screw Mary Poppins, okay? Bring me Mrs. Doubtfire.

[Shane Dawson]

It was a drive by Fluting. Yes.

[Sandy]

I just love how you make it seem like she just comes into your house. Well, she was hired as a man.

[Shane Dawson]

Hey, you never know who you're hiring. You could be hiring a fucking witch. We really cracked the case. Okay, I don't know how to go to this one from that. This one is more serious. And no, Mary Poppins is pretty serious. Okay? So I don't want to like, get demonetized or political or anything. This is. I just found this very interesting. So I'm just going to show you a clip.

[Sandy]

Congressman from New Jersey wants the Pentagon.

[Shane Dawson]

To reveal whether it experimented on ticks with the goal of Turning them into weapons and whether this led to the spread of lyme disease in the US Borrelia burgdorferi, known to millions as Lyme disease, infects more than 300,000Americans a year.

[Chris]

It is spread by infected deer ticks.

[Shane Dawson]

Not treated, it could lead to neurological damage.

[Ryland Adams]

Bioweapon specialists stuffed ticks with pathogens to.

[Shane Dawson]

Cause severe disability, disease, even death to potential enemies. Okay, so, yes, the theory that lyme disease was created by the government to be a weapon and some ticks got loose.

[Ryland Adams]

This is my biggest fear, Lyme disease.

[Shane Dawson]

For years, people thought it was a lie. Like, celebrities would talk about it. People would be like, okay, Lyme disease. Like, you're lying because it's so random how it affects your brain and your body. Like, it. It makes you, like, depressed. It makes you sick. Like, does it. It like, affects your neuro system.

[Spencer]

Yeah. There was a kid on my brother's soccer team when we were like, little kids, and he one day he just started being so aggressive and mean, and they didn't know what was wrong with him. It was like, oh, my God, he's so aggressive now. And then eventually they took him in. It's like, oh, he said he has lyme disease and it's just like altered his brain to make him more. A more aggressive person. It's like, changed his personality.

[Ryland Adams]

I'm so terrified because. And it has become my whole YouTube homepage or different videos about ticks and lyme disease because it's like, how can you avoid it? How do you know if they're latching? The way that they start when they're on a dog or a human, how they just like, bury or. Oh, it's disgusting.

[Sandy]

That is something that. Yeah. Even like, going hiking or going to certain areas, I always worry about the ticks.

[Spencer]

Well, I saw a thing about recently this year, there's a big issue with ticks where they're giving people this, like, new disease not to scare island even more. Where, like, one of the side effects is that it turns you a allergic to meat. And like, that's the only way people are discovering they have it. It is like it'll be dormant for a while, and then suddenly these people will have these horrible reactions every time they eat meat. And it's like a new scary tick tock.

[Chris]

Guys, the only thing we can do to really get ourselves out of this situation. Haktui for 2024. We need her in office. She's gonna get rid of this.

[Shane Dawson]

Although haktuing is a way to spread things, talk to it would have not worked during COVID times. Okay, here's a fun little. Let's throw a fun one in here. This is something called the pickle theory. Have you guys heard about this?

[Chris]

That I hate pickles?

[Shane Dawson]

Interesting. Sandy, do you like pickles?

[Sandy]

I like them. I'm not a huge fan, but I like them.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, Is it a woman's thing? Is that what you're trying to do? Divide us by sexes?

[Shane Dawson]

Chris, do you like pickles?

[Jared]

I love pickles.

[Shane Dawson]

Does your boyfriend like pickles?

[Jared]

No.

[Shane Dawson]

No. Interesting. I love pickles. Put a bunch of pickles on a burger, I'm happy. What do you think?

[Ryland Adams]

I can take a pickle on a burger. I can't take a pickle.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, but you also. The other night when I got a burger and there's pickles on it, you pick them off and put them on my plate.

[Ryland Adams]

It's not my preference. No.

[Shane Dawson]

Right. Well, the theory is if you are in a compatible relationship, one person likes pickles, one person hates pickles, and they will give the pickles to the one that likes them. That is the compatibility test. And we passed. Me.

[Ryland Adams]

Maybe we all pass onions.

[Spencer]

It was the same with my ex.

[Shane Dawson]

Really?

[Spencer]

She loved pickles. I didn't really like pickles.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my God.

[Jared]

Then why'd you break up if you're compatible?

[Chris]

Probably because one of that. One of us has to smell pickle on the other one's breath.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. So that's the pickle theory. And let us know in the comments if this is real for you in your relationship. Is there a pickle person and a non pickle person? I'm curious how wide this spreads. Okay, back to scary theories. Have you guys heard about the Red room theory?

[Ryland Adams]

Murder.

[Shane Dawson]

So this is. You're close. This is the new, like, back rooms. It's the thing everybody's talking about to scare each other on the Internet. Except this one is actually very scary and could potentially be real. So the Red Room theory is a room on the dark web where people can watch live snuff films. This room is said to be run by criminals who kidnap and murder people for intertext entertainment to paying customers. Now, the reason I bring this up is, and we've talked about this before, we had a really weird. There's a theory. Please, Vegas, don't sue me. But there's a theory that Vegas is where the red room is because people are already there wanting to gamble. And supposedly they're, like, watching live. I don't know. It's very scary. I think there was even a movie made about it. Hostel Number Three, I think, was made about this.

[Jared]

There's a.

[Chris]

There's also a movie that's very good called 8 millimeter, starring Nicolas Cage. And the whole thing is hunting down a group is making snuff films.

[Shane Dawson]

So scary.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

So when me and Rylan went to an Airbnb in Vegas, we made a video about it. Do you remember this?

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

And we clearly, there was a. There was a room in the house that had a light on, but the door was locked. And we heard things going on. We're like, what is going on? The house was so weird. The owner was like, you guys having any girls over tonight? We were like, no. He's like, come on. Here's free alcohol. Have a party. Have a party. There was, like, 10 beds in one room. Like, it was so scary. And the scariest part was we heard a noise. So we call the owner, and we're like, hey, we heard something run around upstairs. Like, what's going on? And he goes, we left the TV on. And we're like, how'd you know that?

[Ryland Adams]

Because it was on mute.

[Shane Dawson]

It was on mute. How'd you know that? He goes, well, I can see it. And I'm like, you're watching us? And then he's like, isn't that crazy? Ew.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

And it's not a coincidence that I'm watching wearing my red leather shirt.

[Ryland Adams]

I was thinking that.

[Chris]

You're killing it.

[Shane Dawson]

Thank you.

[Ryland Adams]

What's it feel like in there after all this time?

[Shane Dawson]

It's so stinky and hot. It smells like fish. Oh, man. Ooh. It really does. Okay. Yeah. So that's a red room theory. Very, very scary. Okay, so this next one, it's not really a theory, but it really is starting to line up, and it's kind of freaking me out. So you guys have maybe heard of the rodent boyfriend?

[Ryland Adams]

Oh. Oh, yes. You were shocked when I brought this up.

[Shane Dawson]

I was. But now that you brought it up, I see it everywhere.

[Ryland Adams]

I know you can't unsee it.

[Shane Dawson]

So let me start here. Number one. So every famous guy right now, or big famous actor who's, like, winning awards and taking over the world, they all fit the stereotype of looking.

[Jared]

Looking like a rodent.

[Shane Dawson]

Look at that. You said it, not me.

[Ryland Adams]

A lot of people are like, hot rodent men.

[Jared]

So you're saying Pete Davidson.

[Ryland Adams]

Look.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, so Adam Driver. I. What's it? I'm not saying it. Like, I think that's mean to call people.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, like, the big one's Jeremy Allen White. Because his show's so popular and he's having such a moment.

[Shane Dawson]

Timothee Chalamet.

[Jared]

Jeremy Machine Gun Kelly.

[Spencer]

Oh, he's Barry Keegan. He's dating Sabrina Carpenter.

[Ryland Adams]

Sabrina Carpenter.

[Shane Dawson]

There you go. Which she's a part of this, too. We'll get to that in a second.

[Ryland Adams]

What?

[Shane Dawson]

Those are all the.

[Spencer]

Oh, yeah. There's also this guy from Challengers. Everyone thinks he looks like Stuart Little.

[Jared]

Wait, that's cute, though.

[Ryland Adams]

That's what I mean.

[Chris]

It's not.

[Ryland Adams]

It's not bad to be a rodent, man. It's just.

[Chris]

It's an identifier.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay, so that's for men, right? That's like sweeping the nation. Everybody's talking about rodent. No.

[Chris]

What fucking world are we living in? Dude, what the fuck?

[Shane Dawson]

It's a distraction.

[Chris]

I'm so glad I don't have TikTok.

[Shane Dawson]

Now for women, the new thing sweeping the world right now, creepy doll girlfriends.

[Ryland Adams]

So that is the brain Sabrina Carpenter. She's the poster girl for that.

[Shane Dawson]

Sabrina Carpenter looks like a creepy doll. This sounds mean. I didn't make this up.

[Ryland Adams]

She's not a creepy doll, but she's doll Precious Moments doll. Like energy.

[Shane Dawson]

She looks like a precious moment. Remember those?

[Chris]

Yes.

[Ryland Adams]

She puts that out into the world. Very like pastel.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. And then we have Lupita from Us and the Quiet Place movie.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

And then we have Anna Taylor Queen, and she has the creepy doll look.

[Sandy]

It's like their skin texture is, like, really porcelain. Like those dolls that are breakable.

[Shane Dawson]

Yes. Billie Eilish has the creepy doll eyes. That's what I mean.

[Spencer]

Billie Eilish.

[Chris]

Whoa. Billie Eilish. That was a creepy picture for sure.

[Ryland Adams]

It's the Halloween version.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. Okay, Jared, you have a theory that I'm very excited about. I heard this one is shocking.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah. It's electric. So this has to do with eels. And obviously, I'm a big fish guy. We actually have had an eel, Lucille. The eel rest in peace to Lucille. But one thing about eels is nobody really knows how they reproduce. It's never been observed in the wild. No scientist can conclude exactly how it's happening. But recently, what they found is all eels, no matter where they are in the world. World migrate to a very small area within the Bermuda Triangle called the Sargasso Sea. And the crazy thing about the Sargasso Sea, it's what a lot of people deem is the, like, most dangerous spot where all these ships are disappearing. Where when planes fly over it, they lose their signal and they end up crashing and there's no land barrier, so it's just three seas that are around this area. And it creates, like, this void vortex within the ocean. So they all go here. It's like 6, 000 miles for some of these eels to actually travel to. And I was kind of thinking about the theory and the fact that all of these eels are going to this spot, why it could be, and, like, why there's so much mystery behind them. And it made me think of a theory that the Earth, at one point in our history, was struck by multiple planets and meteor years that brought other life forms onto the Earth. So my thought is one of these planets that struck the Earth hit it possibly right where the Sargasso Sea is. It brought these life forms that now call this, like, their. Their home base. You know what I'm saying? And this is where all of them go in order to breed and do these things that no one's ever observed because it's so dangerous there. I mean, I think we know more about the moon than we do about. About, like the ocean floor.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Because it just. You can't go down there. But I was thinking, how does this possibly tie in to all these signals getting crossed, all these boats sinking, all these things happening? And I'm thinking, what if, like, deep down there is this rock and all the eels are down there congregating and they're creating such a powerful electrical current that it's messing up signals and everything above it and causing planes to crash? So what if on the bottom of this sea is, like, millions of eels and their electrical current is changing the GPS signals? It's changing everything. And eels are actually the reason why the Bermuda Triangle has claimed so many boats and airplanes.

[Shane Dawson]

Whoa. So eels are aliens.

[Chris]

Eels are aliens. They're causing boats to sink. They're causing airplanes to crash.

[Ryland Adams]

Trash.

[Chris]

And they're the reason that the Bermuda Triangle, especially this area, is so dangerous. Well, and it's just a theory. It's just a theory, Right.

[Ryland Adams]

I think James Cameron will tell us the truth. He loves going down. He loves going down and seeing what's going on. And then he'll make a movie about it, and then I'll know what's real.

[Chris]

But does he hawk tui first?

[Ryland Adams]

I mean, his wife might hawk tui Tara. Yeah.

[Chris]

So, I mean, that's what I think it is.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, speaking of all of that and somebody that's gonna hawk to me later.

[Ryland Adams]

Let'S get into a recap. My camera action. Rylan's recap is about to happen. Rylan's recap. On today's episode of the Shane Dawson Podcast, Rodent M are taking over. Chris and Ryland are here to stay.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, where's your wig? Did you have this? Julie?

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, my gosh.

[Sandy]

What was Julie doing on the floor?

[Ryland Adams]

Julie hit the floor after that groundbreaking season of Big Brother. And one day on the Shane Dawson podcast, Jared. Jared tried to take out Ryland, but Ryland persevered and sent home Spencer.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Ryland Adams]

To the trash.

[Shane Dawson]

That wig gave him power.

[Chris]

It's kind of crazy because without the wig, you're a rodent, but with the wig, you have the scary doll face.

[Ryland Adams]

You're like both Julie Crazy and Sabrina Carpenter. What do we have in common? The doll effect. What is it called?

[Shane Dawson]

Creepy doll Girl.

[Ryland Adams]

I haven't actually heard of that one yet. So maybe Shane made it up to have podcast content.

[Shane Dawson]

Also, Jared has dried puffy paint on his hand, and it just looks like cuffed. It's been there the whole whole show.

[Ryland Adams]

Side note, right after Sandy toed on Jared during the podcast break, she missed a little. That's crusted and dusted onto his neck. Next time, we're careful. We don't want your boss, Britney Spears, to catch y'all in the act and fire her new publicist.

[Chris]

Uhoh.

[Spencer]

Oh, I got this lovely gift from.

[Ryland Adams]

Yeah, if you tune in to Jared and Sandy's estate sale garage sale videos, you will have known they picked up a hot item. A Shrek. What are those called? Chia pets for Spencer, whose favorite movie happens to be Shrek. Hold on.

[Shane Dawson]

What?

[Ryland Adams]

Does somebody else want to take over being me for a second? Why?

[Shane Dawson]

What's going on?

[Ryland Adams]

I just have a delivery. I thought we were going to be done right now.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, wow.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Dawson]

This sucks.

[Jared]

It's a rock.

[Chris]

Hey, guys, I gotta step in.

[Ryland Adams]

I gotta step in.

[Chris]

I can't figure the wig out though.

[Spencer]

We need you to read.

[Shane Dawson]

Why does this look like a real person?

[Chris]

Come on, guys, feed him to me. Feed him to me. What do we got?

[Shane Dawson]

Red room theory. Oh, are you.

[Chris]

Are you near a red room? Be very careful because it's said that these rooms are housing snuff films. Possibly in Las Vegas, where people are murdering other people on tape and putting it on the Internet for the highest bidder.

[Shane Dawson]

Mary Poppins is evil.

[Chris]

Is Mary Poppins nice for scary? Conspiracy theorists are saying that her and it Pennywise, could be of the same species. And she's draining joy out of the kids.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, Lyme disease.

[Chris]

Tick, tick, boom. We have a conspiracy that ticks are being genetically modified to spread Lie to me disease, and it's sweeping the nation. So be careful. Be careful.

[Sandy]

It just looks like a bullet.

[Chris]

Come on.

[Shane Dawson]

I got 40k steps.

[Chris]

Shane, although having massive shin pain, is showing great promise in winning the Walkstar competition in hitting his 40,000step milestone. Give him a round of applause. He should, however, take a couple days off just to make sure that he has a good healing cycle.

[Shane Dawson]

Wrap it up.

[Chris]

And that's gonna do it for this episode of the Shane Dawson Podcast. Make sure you follow everybody on their socials. Go to Shane Dawson Podcast to get your merch. Make sure to check out Raycon. Thank you, Raycon, for sponsoring the Walkstar Competition. Code grower. Save that 15%. And on that note, we'll see you next time.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my.

[Spencer]

The wig does something to people.

[Shane Dawson]

The power of the wig.

[Chris]

Wait, what just happened?

[Shane Dawson]

Dang. Oh, my God. Well, Rylan, where are you? We have to say goodbye. A few moments later, Julie's back.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode of the Shane Dawson Podcast. I hope that. What if this recap was the best one ever without me. Are you guys going to replace me for my game?

[Shane Dawson]

Pretty good.

[Ryland Adams]

Am I fired from the Shane Dawson Podcast?

[Shane Dawson]

It was pretty good.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, I hope you guys had a fantastic time with us playing Big Brother. You know what? Throughout the season, it should be our goal not only to get sponsored by Big Brother, but to play the entire game until there's only one that remains. Make sure you shop your Shane Dawson merch at Shane Dawson merch dot com. Follow us all on Instagram, Instagram and social media, Sandy's channel, Chris's channel, Spencer's Instagram, my blog channel. And we'll see you all in two weeks right here on the Shane Dawson Podcast.

[Shane Dawson]

All right, guys, go. Hopefully you enjoyed whatever the hell that was.

[Ryland Adams]

Can you imagine me greeting a delivery person in this? And it's short. It's not even long.

[Shane Dawson]

Overall, it's short. All right, guys, we'll see you guys next time. Bye, girl. Girls. Bye, girls.

[Chris]

Bye.