Walmart Conspiracy Theories

Summary

The Shane Dawson Podcast

Episode: STARBUCKS CONSPIRACY THEORIES! and WALMART IS HIDING SOMETHING...
Date: February 1, 2026
Host: Shane Dawson
Co-hosts/Guests: Ryland Adams, Spencer, Sandy, Jared, Sally

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Shane, Ryland, and their friends dig into conspiracy theories centered around Starbucks and Walmart, play two new party games, and share a blend of nostalgic stories, true crime, personal confessions, and lots of raunchy, hilarious banter. Notably, the group explores the authenticity of friendly Starbucks cup messages, rumors of facial recognition in Walmart, and a sprawling theory about Elon Musk's master plan for Mars. The tone is highly comedic, candid, and at times, intentionally absurd.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. 2016 Nostalgia & Group Catch-up

• The group reminisces about what they were doing in 2016, with funny stories about school cliques, fashion choices (including Spencer's notorious fedora era), and major life moments.
  • “2016 was great for us.” – Shane Dawson (01:08)
  • “Every year is the worst year ever. ...people on social media.” – Ryland Adams (01:10)

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2. Game 1: Sitting on a Secret

• Players receive three secret words to inconspicuously integrate into conversation; others try to detect & call them out.
  • E.g. words like "voluptuous," "dong city," "nightgown," "bootylicious," and "queef" trigger much laughter & crude jokes.
  • Punishments and rewards are debated: “The person with the least amount of points has to do a naked lap.” – Spencer (04:36)

Memorable Exchanges & Quotes

• "So we went to Joshua Tree for a few days, and I don’t know why, but I was crav... like, chili cheese tater tots." – Sandy (06:28)
• "Dong city. That’s the hard one." – Ryland Adams (07:28)
• "After all that vagina talk you were doing, you should have put…" – Shane Dawson (09:19)
• "Cooter’s funny. The word is funny." – Sandy (11:42)

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3. Game 2: Interrogation Room

• Teams try to guess if outrageous confessions are true or false by asking targeted questions.
  • Examples include: pooping in a Doritos bag, being cucked by friends, hardcore pegging requests from Disney stars (fake!), and tales of enemas gone wrong.
  • Shane and Ryland share an accidentally intimate story involving a DIY enema:
    "He was miserable and his stomach was so plugged up... so then I squeezed the whole thing and he was like, ‘Oh God. Oh God.’ And then it all just started spraying everywhere." – Ryland Adams (29:14)

Notable Confession Outcomes

• Most confessions are fake, but some wild stories (like the enema episode) turn out to be true.
• "I once douched at an Airbnb and got shit all over the walls..." – Shane Dawson (28:39, TRUE)

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4. Conspiracy Corner & True Crime

A. Starbucks Cup Messages: Real or Manipulated?

• Ryland becomes suspicious after Starbucks cup messages grow oddly personal, then random. He discovers (via listener and research) that Starbucks now requires baristas to write affirming messages on cups to “increase customer connection”—an initiative dubbed "craft of connection."
  • "I literally thought… maybe I should go in tomorrow and be like, I’m here. Like, I literally created a storyline, not real." – Ryland Adams (45:02)
  • The hosts feel manipulated and slightly heartbroken.
  • "Nope, they killed it." – Shane Dawson (46:11)
• They draw parallels to other scripted customer service interactions:
  • "When you go to Dutch Bros and you know they legally have to ask you your favorite animal, it’s enough to make me not go anymore." – Ryland Adams (47:05)

B. Walmart’s Digital Surveillance (55:00)

• The group discusses a viral story and explores whether Walmart uses facial recognition to track purchases—even cash purchases—with emails sent post-transaction.
• Spencer outlines potential tracking via store wifi triangulation, MAC addresses, and digital price tag manipulation to target individual customers.
  • "Camera scans your face and converts it to straight data... the store will have a ton of wifi access points… when your phone sends out looking for wifi, it gets to know your phone, it gets to associate your phone with your face." – Spencer (55:34)
  • Digital price-tag technology could allow dynamic pricing per shopper.

C. FameFi: AI-Generated Fake Livestream Audiences (48:00)

• The group reacts with a mix of horror and laughter to a new app that sells users a live chat of AI bots, simulating streaming fame.
  • "This is so dark to me. Number one, I think kids are going to use this..." – Ryland Adams (49:38)
  • "You’re paying to feel famous…” – Spencer (51:03)

D. Elon Musk’s “Master Plan” for Mars (51:45)

• Colby introduces a viral theory analyzing how all of Musk's businesses fit together as infrastructure for human life on Mars: boring tunnels, solar energy, AI bots, and electric cars.
  • "When you see that entire framework… it’s actually coherent." – Colby (52:45)

E. Dead-Celeb Doppelganger / Illuminati Theory (59:25)

• Jared shares wild conspiracies about celebrities being reincarnations (or literal doubles) of historical figures for Illuminati purposes, e.g., Glenn Close as George Washington, Anne Hathaway and Shakespeare’s wife.
  • "If there’s a few ways that this theory could operate, that would be one of them." – Jared (60:50)

F. True Crime: The Banfield Au Pair Murder Case (62:00)

• Sandy presents the then-unresolved, real-time New York case of an IRS agent, his au pair lover, and the plot to murder his wife by luring in and killing a “patsy” Craigslist date.
  • The tale includes murder-for-hire, self-defense staging, plea deals, and suspense—unfolding in the court as the episode goes live.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On customer manipulation:
  “I created this thing in my head... I saw this barista in my head being like, I love Shane. Like... he orders from us every day. I'm gonna surprise him with little messages. I literally thought... but it’s not real.” – Ryland Adams (45:02)

• On AI fake fans:
  “This is so dark to me. …Kids are going to use this, …they're going to feel like they're part of this world where they're famous. ...that’s what’s going to happen.” – Ryland Adams (49:35)

• On Walmart's tech:
  “Camera scans your face and converts it to straight data... using three or more WiFi access points, they can triangulate your position in the store, about a foot and a half variation.” – Spencer (55:34)

• On Musk's masterplan for Mars:
  "All of these things to work in unison so we can live on Mars.” – Shane Dawson, summarizing (71:02)

• On secret party games:
  “Dong City is an iconic shirt.” – Ryland Adams (12:11)
  “Who won sitting on a secret?” – Shane Dawson (71:27)
  "Jared actually won. He was the best at that game. Very amazing. …he was sitting on a secret for about 30 minutes, but recently had to let it out." – Ryland Adams (71:30)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:31 – Start of roundtable, nostalgia about 2016
• 03:30 – Intro & rules for "Sitting on a Secret"
• 06:25 – Sonic drive-thru story; "dong city" moment
• 12:33 – Instructions for "Interrogation Room"
• 21:04 – Sandy reveals her real OCD quirks
• 29:14 – Ryland’s enema story
• 32:07 – Sally’s (Chris’s) mosh pit confession
• 34:51 – Game wrap-up, transition to conspiracy segment
• 41:33 – Chuck E Cheese conspiracy (arrested mascots)
• 42:57 – Starbucks “fake” cup message conspiracy
• 48:00 – FameFi app & AI livestream audience discussion
• 51:45 – Elon Musk masterplan breakdown
• 54:20 – Walmart digital surveillance and dynamic pricing
• 59:25 – Illuminati/Dead Celeb lookalike theory
• 62:03 – Au pair murder-for-hire true crime story
• 68:09 – Final group recap with running jokes

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The Episode’s Style & Tone

• The podcast is heavily banter-driven, self-deprecating, and outrageous—a blend of genuine conspiracy wondering, comedic improvisation, and intentionally outrageous humor (with crass language).
• The group regularly breaks into fits of laughter, teases each other, and bounces from current events to the absurd (e.g., lengthy riffs on "Dong City" as a brand/website, and bodily-function humor).
• Shane and Ryland's ability to suddenly pivot from joke to truth (and vice versa) keeps the tone unpredictable and energetic.

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Final Thoughts

This episode stands out for its blend of party game chaos, shocking true crime breakdowns, and genuine takes on emerging tech privacy issues and customer manipulation. The recurring "Dong City" joke becomes a meta-theme for the group’s ability to turn anything into an inside joke, while the real discussions—Starbucks’ cup messages, Walmart's apparent tracking, and the Musk–Mars theory—offer unique takes for fans of conspiracies, pop culture, and internet culture.

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For New Listeners

This episode is perfect for those who want a wild ride: part confessional, part improv comedy, and part real pop-cultural and tech-conspiracy breakdown. Even if you’re not a day-one Shane fan, you’ll come away both laughing and side-eyeing your next Starbucks cup or Walmart visit.

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Want more details or deep dives into any segment? Check the timestamps above to jump to your favorite topic!

Transcript

[Shane Dawson]

This Valentine's Day, the UPS store certified.

[Ryland Adams]

Packing experts are helping pack and ship all the ways we care.

[Sandy]

From the lovey dovey XOXO Gifts.

[Shane Dawson]

Gifts for your Galentine's gal pal.

[Ryland Adams]

Even pet gifts for doggie dearest.

[Sandy]

When you ship UPS Air at the.

[Ryland Adams]

UPS store, your items arrive on time.

[Shane Dawson]

Or your money back guaranteed at no extra cost.

[Sandy]

Exclusively at the UPS Store US retail locations.

[Shane Dawson]

Send your Valentines on time at the UPS Store.

[Sandy]

Visit theupsstore.com airguaranty for full details. Terms and conditions apply.

[Ryland Adams]

So this is actually from a document that Starbucks gave their employees. Can I show this?

[Spencer]

Yeah, yeah. This is like a public article. Public.

[Ryland Adams]

So this is what they specifically say you have to do. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. It's 2016 edition. I'm so over it. I'm so over it. Listen, it's fun. I love that everybody wants to go back 10 years ago. Although I remember back in 2016, everybody's like, this is the worst year ever. And now everybody's like, take me back.

[Sally]

I don't know.

[Shane Dawson]

2016 was great for us.

[Ryland Adams]

I love 2016. Every year is the worst year ever. I feel like, you know, people on social media.

[Shane Dawson]

It's when we got our first dog.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, I know. It was a big year. It was when you took off your shirt and danced to Work from Home by Fifth Harmony on my Never forget.

[Shane Dawson]

I had my carousel. Carousel prepared and then I left it in the drafts.

[Jared]

Why?

[Shane Dawson]

Eh, a lot of, like, me being, like, shirtless and cringy.

[Ryland Adams]

What were you guys doing in 2016?

[Sandy]

Who even remembers?

[Jared]

I think we were.

[Ryland Adams]

What did we do?

[Shane Dawson]

Were you still in high school, Spencer? Yeah.

[Sandy]

Oh, no, it's freshman year.

[Spencer]

No, I was in junior year or senior year.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Ryland Adams]

Take us back.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. What was that?

[Spencer]

No, I was, like, looking at the pictures. Like, we do not need to open that box. Dark days.

[Shane Dawson]

Dark days.

[Ryland Adams]

Wow. What was your, like, high school? Who were you in high school? What was your clique?

[Spencer]

I don't know if I really had a clique.

[Jared]

I don't know. I would hang out with a lot.

[Spencer]

Of, like, ski bros.

[Ryland Adams]

I'm starting to remember. Didn't you say you used to wear a fedora and, like, a Pokemon?

[Spencer]

Okay, that was middle school.

[Ryland Adams]

That was middle school.

[Shane Dawson]

Those are really.

[Spencer]

We don't need to go back to that.

[Sally]

I know.

[Ryland Adams]

That was the group.

[Spencer]

I moved away.

[Ryland Adams]

The Pirates of the Caribbean clip. Yeah.

[Spencer]

The suit every day type clique.

[Ryland Adams]

We moved off.

[Spencer]

We moved on from that.

[Ryland Adams]

Aw.

[Spencer]

But we expect People who do that.

[Sandy]

I don't know why I picture you with, like, longer hair in high school and then, you know, in, like, every high school movie montage where it's like the wind is blowing your head hair as you walk through the doors. You know, I see it.

[Jared]

You kind of have like a young Brendan Fraser vibe from the writing.

[Spencer]

That's what everyone's.

[Jared]

But, like, there's maybe two other people that I've seen where I feel like you kind of give their vibe too.

[Ryland Adams]

I remember when we were watching Dawson's Creek, which. Side note, you guys are now binging Dawson's Creek again.

[Shane Dawson]

Yes, yes.

[Ryland Adams]

Which is one of the best shows ever made.

[Shane Dawson]

Right.

[Ryland Adams]

Second watch.

[Jared]

You kind of see where things maybe aren't, you know, the best, but it's still entertaining and nostalgic.

[Ryland Adams]

It's so good.

[Jared]

It's fun to watch.

[Ryland Adams]

But every character looks like Spence. Like, doesn't Spencer look like he's from the 90s?

[Jared]

Like a Dawson Pacey hybrid?

[Shane Dawson]

Yes.

[Ryland Adams]

Yes.

[Jared]

That could be it.

[Sandy]

That is it.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Sandy]

He's giving me 10 and a little bit of Jen.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

What do I look like? Comment down below, guys.

[Ryland Adams]

Let us know. Thumbs up the ones you agree with. Okay, well, speaking of things that are uncomfortable. That wasn't uncomfortable, I guess.

[Shane Dawson]

Why are you looking at me?

[Ryland Adams]

I have no transition for this. Guys, we have a game that we're going to be playing through this whole episode, and I'm very excited about it. It feels very like traitors to me. Like, killing in plain sight. So here's the game. Spencer came up with this. Well, do you want to explain the game?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, sure.

[Ryland Adams]

You have to explain it like you're the host of Traitors, and if you haven't seen it, he wears a lot of flamboyant clothes and he talks like this.

[Shane Dawson]

If you haven't seen Traitors.

[Spencer]

No, I know. I need to watch it. Everyone says it's really good. Anyway, today we'll be playing a game of sneaking in. We don't really have a name for.

[Ryland Adams]

Sitting on a secret. Sitting on a secret. That's what they say about drag queens. Cause they tuck their penises and then it goes to their butts. And they're sitting on a secret. And they're sitting on a secret.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh. Oh, my God. You gagged me with it.

[Spencer]

It's not much of a secret. So everyone is gonna get three secret little words. Their words are gonna have to be slipped into conversation at some point during this episode. Oh, but the trick is if somebody guesses the word, you Lose a point. I guess you lose a point.

[Shane Dawson]

The person with the least amount of.

[Spencer]

Points has to do a naked lap.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't know. What? I don't know.

[Spencer]

I don't know. We don't have a punishment yet anyway. But if you guess correctly, you get a point. But if you guess it correctly, maybe you lose a point. We haven't worked out all the kinks yet. Okay, I'm gonna be texting everyone your words right now.

[Sally]

Do not.

[Ryland Adams]

I'm nervous. Got another fucking text from Jenny Craig.

[Shane Dawson]

All right.

[Jared]

Chris is throwing it out there.

[Ryland Adams]

They're coming for me. I don't know what's happening.

[Shane Dawson]

And you have to get all three to win. Yep.

[Spencer]

First person to get all three.

[Ryland Adams]

Although I do love Jenny Craig's meatloaf. Shout out.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah.

[Spencer]

Okay. And everyone has their words.

[Shane Dawson]

I almost farted. I was so shocked.

[Spencer]

Shane actually sent me my words.

[Ryland Adams]

That was a word.

[Shane Dawson]

Tricked you. Trying to be obvious that I had one.

[Ryland Adams]

That was good.

[Shane Dawson]

No, I'm not gonna give it away.

[Ryland Adams]

Like, smiling.

[Sandy]

You're staring at this.

[Ryland Adams]

Makes everyone so suspicious every time somebody's telling a story.

[Spencer]

Yeah. And we're gonna interrupt so many times.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, well, yeah, let's. Oh, wait, I'm scared.

[Sally]

Okay.

[Spencer]

Some of our words might be on the screen now. Some of them may not.

[Sandy]

Can you believe this?

[Ryland Adams]

And some of us might have already said one of our words.

[Shane Dawson]

What?

[Spencer]

Sitting on a secret. Okay, wait, what was this dessert debacle that I was hearing about earlier?

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, yes, I wrote that down because you guys are fighting during the debacle.

[Shane Dawson]

One of your words.

[Spencer]

No, it's not actually one of my words.

[Ryland Adams]

That's just a word he likes.

[Spencer]

By the way, I started this game because Jared will often say a word. I'm like, wow, I don't think many people use that word. Yeah, perfect. You're gonna be the hardest one.

[Shane Dawson]

I think this is a good game concept.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Ryland Adams]

Yeah, I wrote this down because before the show, you guys were, like, fighting about Sonic, and then something about a drive through. And then Ryland was like, save for the podcast. What happened?

[Sandy]

What didn't happen? Let me tell you.

[Jared]

Oh, my gosh.

[Sandy]

So we went to Joshua Tree for a few days, and I don't know why, but I was crav. Like, chili cheese tater tots. And is that a word.

[Spencer]

To ruin every story?

[Shane Dawson]

I don't know, but I think the winner should get chili cheese tots. That's a fun.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay.

[Sandy]

Yeah, there you go.

[Jared]

That would have been a fun.

[Sandy]

It's from Sonic. So Order it now so it can.

[Shane Dawson]

Get here by sonic an hour away.

[Jared]

They have desserts.

[Sandy]

Oh, yeah. And then we were in the drive through and I said to him, should we do the mini blast? And he said, I think we've ordered enough. Can you.

[Ryland Adams]

Brutal.

[Sandy]

Let me tell you, after the whole chocolate almond thing that happened before that.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh my.

[Sandy]

I'm ready to let him have it.

[Ryland Adams]

Wait, what's that?

[Jared]

So all day, just to prefix this all day.

[Sandy]

I was real fired up.

[Jared]

This is a great move. Like joking around being a little inappropriate at times. So we.

[Sandy]

Well, it's not like I'm over here saying dong city or anything.

[Ryland Adams]

That's a word's worse.

[Shane Dawson]

Is that a word? Oh my gosh, yes.

[Sandy]

Darn it.

[Shane Dawson]

I'm gonna wait.

[Ryland Adams]

Dong city. That's the hard one.

[Sandy]

Well, I was going to say.

[Jared]

Yeah, that was either genius or like.

[Ryland Adams]

So. Would she have been able to say that?

[Spencer]

I tried to give everyone a third one. Be like pretty hard.

[Ryland Adams]

She's like, I'm the only woman if you're like gong.

[Sandy]

Well, I wasn't as I thought you was going to bring up a story, but I thought maybe he won't cuz it's a little inappropriate. And then I just.

[Ryland Adams]

What kind of story?

[Shane Dawson]

I'm so.

[Jared]

But it all shifted after this event happened and it went from jokey jokey to very upset.

[Sandy]

Very upset.

[Jared]

What happened?

[Sandy]

Well, here's the thing. We went to. I don't remember where we got chocolate almonds, which is my favorite dark milk. We got dark chocolate.

[Spencer]

They're healthy.

[Sandy]

It's healthy.

[Jared]

You can tell we've fallen off a bit.

[Shane Dawson]

I like dark chocolate almonds.

[Ryland Adams]

Good for your heart.

[Sandy]

Yes. I couldn't wait until we got to the house, so I opened mine, had a few, and then I put them in front of the stick shift thing. And when we got to the house, we were gonna put it in the bag to go bring it inside. Well, Jared moved the six shift and then put the almonds in the bag.

[Ryland Adams]

No.

[Sandy]

Yeah, but he popped the lid open in the process. My almonds spilled all over inside of the bag and I could eat.

[Jared]

No, no, not all over. They fell into the bag. She likes to say they fell all over the bag.

[Shane Dawson]

Practically.

[Sandy]

They were in the bag. The plastic bag might have been all over the car.

[Shane Dawson]

It's just inside of a clean bag.

[Jared]

Inside the bag.

[Sandy]

I don't want to eat it. If it hit the plastic bag, it.

[Jared]

Came out of a plastic container.

[Sandy]

That's besides the point, guys.

[Shane Dawson]

The fact is you hang out.

[Sandy]

Hold on Let me edit that part out. Edit that part out.

[Ryland Adams]

So there was only real.

[Jared]

I ended up being like half of them and feeling all voluptuous.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, that's a word. That's a word.

[Sandy]

You took away from this fact that I only had eight almonds left. And he said that was enough.

[Shane Dawson]

After all that vagina talk you were doing, you should have put.

[Sandy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ryland Adams]

Wait, what?

[Sandy]

She said vagina. Is vagina a word?

[Sally]

She was talking about her cooter.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ryland Adams]

That's a word. Which is cooter.

[Shane Dawson]

No, it's not.

[Jared]

Unfortunately. Unfortunately, this is real.

[Shane Dawson]

No, but I got away with my.

[Sandy]

No, you said vagina.

[Shane Dawson]

No, I got away with one of mine.

[Jared]

It wasn't a toilet.

[Shane Dawson]

It was queefed.

[Ryland Adams]

I didn't hear you say queefed.

[Shane Dawson]

I said queef. I said with all that vagina talk, you should have queefed in his face.

[Sally]

Wait, so are we announcing when we.

[Ryland Adams]

Got away with it? Good for you. Did you get away with one?

[Sally]

I got away with one.

[Ryland Adams]

Which one?

[Sandy]

Cake.

[Ryland Adams]

Meat flaps. I didn't hear that.

[Sally]

I said, she's talking about her cooters or meat flaps.

[Ryland Adams]

We need to stop talking over each other. But I got away with one of mine, too. Meatloaf. Oh, I do love Janie Craig's meatloaf.

[Sally]

Shout out.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah, I said. I said 12 times where I felt like anyone could have heard it. And it's. I don't even know what this is. Shibbity toilet.

[Sally]

Oh, shibbity toilet.

[Ryland Adams]

Wait, wait, I said it.

[Jared]

I found. It'll be there in the little tab. I would just say shibby toilet.

[Ryland Adams]

Hold on.

[Jared]

After I said it the second time, because I feel like maybe the first time was unfair, maybe everyone else was talking, but I found a gap. I said shibby toilet. That was twice.

[Sandy]

Okay, you can't just whisper it exposed on this podcast.

[Jared]

I think the footage will reveal. I said it pretty loud.

[Spencer]

He did say.

[Sally]

I don't know if I said mine.

[Jared]

Loud enough to be honest. Does that count? I said it.

[Ryland Adams]

No, it counts.

[Spencer]

It was set up well, though.

[Jared]

She brought up her cooter and then me flaps.

[Sally]

I tried.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, so back to your cooter.

[Spencer]

Dog City.

[Ryland Adams]

I'm so sorry, Sandy.

[Shane Dawson]

My word.

[Ryland Adams]

Was your cooter on a trip to Dong City?

[Sandy]

Well, he could have. When we're hanging out, sometimes I. Sometimes I say things that he was like, sandy, if somebody heard you talking to me the way you're talking to me, they would be shocked that this is coming out of your Mouth. And one of the words happens to be cooter.

[Jared]

Everything was about a cooter.

[Sandy]

Yeah, he's a throwback.

[Ryland Adams]

I mean, it's like I'm over here.

[Sandy]

Saying, like, oh, my quivering Cooter or anything.

[Shane Dawson]

Quivering.

[Jared]

Quivering.

[Shane Dawson]

That's a word.

[Jared]

Is that a word?

[Shane Dawson]

Yes.

[Jared]

You're setting every word up to be obvious.

[Ryland Adams]

It's not like I'm saying don city.

[Jared]

It's not like I'm saying quivering.

[Sandy]

I just feel like these are words that I would normally say.

[Sally]

Anyways, we're really breezing past this.

[Sandy]

I cannot believe I just said that.

[Ryland Adams]

Yeah. Wait, I think I blacked out.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, we are.

[Sandy]

You know what it is is that I think cooter's funny. The word is funny. And then we were driving, I thought licking the rim of my cooter lips.

[Ryland Adams]

We just thought it was funny. It sounded funny. You weren't thinking about.

[Jared]

Well, this was after, like, an hour. This was after an hour of, like, you know, it's so highly inappropriate.

[Sandy]

Sorry.

[Jared]

Basically practicing funny things to say based around cooter.

[Sally]

It's so funny coming from you because.

[Spencer]

You'Re such, like, a sweet, innocent person.

[Ryland Adams]

So, like, that coming from you is very funny.

[Jared]

That was workshop for quite a bit.

[Ryland Adams]

You guys should make merch Dong City is an iconic shirt. Well, speaking of weird confessions, guys, we have another game. I know what you're thinking. We are already playing a game that's sitting on a secret. Well, now we have another game called the interrogation Room. Oh, that's right. We're bringing in something new. Do you have your judge out there?

[Spencer]

Oh, yeah. I have to go meet a friend real quick. I have someone else who's gonna come.

[Ryland Adams]

In while he goes and greets his friend. This is a game I'm really excited about. Another one Spencer came up with. So it's called the Interrogation Room. And how it works is we break up into teams, teams of two. And then each of us gets two statements. One is true and one is false. And we choose one that we're gonna say, a statement about our past. And the other person gets to interrogate us with three questions to see if they can guess if we're lying or not. So, for example, say, mine is like, I pooped on a lawn when I was 12. Why'd that come out so fast? That would be mine. Rylan's my partner. He gets to ask me three questions about it, and then he guesses if I'm lying.

[Shane Dawson]

What time of day?

[Ryland Adams]

Morning.

[Shane Dawson]

Solid or diarrhea?

[Ryland Adams]

I'll be diarrhea oh.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow. I am rizzed up for this.

[Ryland Adams]

That's a word. Rizzed up. That's hard. How are you gonna do that?

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Ryland Adams]

Explain why you have this.

[Spencer]

This outfit.

[Ryland Adams]

You look like a poodle.

[Sally]

Also, who are you?

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, yeah, who are you?

[Spencer]

Well, I shaved my mustache, but I'm supposed to be judge. Hardly judge Steve Harley. I shaved. I forgot. Shaner, do you explain the rules?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, great.

[Spencer]

So everyone has their two confessions. And I think the thing is, your teammate shouldn't be. It shouldn't be like you. And because it's. You guys know each other so well.

[Ryland Adams]

Got it. Oh, my God. Wait, why am I nervous? I feel like I'm in court. All right, well, you know what else makes me nervous?

[Shane Dawson]

What?

[Ryland Adams]

Not being able to find a seat at my favorite ads right now.

[Jared]

The worst. That's the worst.

[Ryland Adams]

Thank you so much, SeatGeek, for sponsoring. If you guys don't already know, how could you not? SeatGeek is a number one rated ticketing app with over 35 million downloads. They have over 70,000 events on SeatGeek. And it's not just concerts. It's literally anything that you could think of that has a ticket that you need a seat for. They have it for the best possible price. And in 2026, you know who's on tour? So many people. Ariana Grande, Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga, Alex Warren Forest, Frank Camilla Vato, Olivia Dean. They also write all their tickets from 1 to 10. And if you go and you check out a concert, you'll see a little red dot. That means. And this is way overpriced. If you see a little green dot, that means ding. This is good to go. And they're giving you guys a very special offer. All you got to do is go to the link in the description and use code GROWER2026 for 10 off your SeatGeek tickets. That's code GROWER2026 to get 10 off of your tickets. Thank you so much, SeatGeek. And yeah, go find a seat geek.

[Sandy]

And remember. And remember, you don't have to be suited up to get seated up.

[Shane Dawson]

Good job. Geeked up.

[Ryland Adams]

Suited up. They're gonna take that.

[Sandy]

Like, you don't have to get suited to get seated.

[Spencer]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sandy]

In my head, it works.

[Jared]

There's something there.

[Ryland Adams]

You know what else Sandy could. Never mind. I was gonna try to work your favorite word into this, but maybe I shouldn't.

[Spencer]

I'm sure they love that.

[Ryland Adams]

Although I will say Dong City is a fun website.

[Shane Dawson]

Dong City Might already exist.

[Sandy]

Yeah, please don't Google that.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, if you want to make your own website for one of your favorite.

[Shane Dawson]

Words, you can host your own website called Dong City. Sounds like a money maker.

[Ryland Adams]

Let's not do that one. But you can. Squarespace. Thank you so much, Squarespace, for sponsoring this.

[Jared]

All right, listen up. Nacho chips, Quiet down. Crispy potatoes. This is the moment Velveeta's been preparing you for, and you're not about to crack under pressure. Today's the day to go all in on the drip. Velveeta's Heat N Eat queso is the MVP of any game day spread. So stick by them and you'll be golden. Now get out there and make delicious history. No tailgate party is complete without Velveeta.

[Ryland Adams]

Listen, Squarespace can help you make an entire website so easily. They make it so easy. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. They also have options where you can actually sell content. You could put things behind a paywall. You can set the price. It makes it so easy. If you want to start your own business or if you already have a small business, like, say you're a nail tech or a hair stylist, you can literally book your clients through your website. You can create email lists to contact your customers. You can check all your analytics. There's so many different analytics you can look through. You can do so many different things, and it's so easy to create your website. It's all drag and drop. They have different templates you can use, but you can really personalize color. Look, the vibe, Chris's website, by the way. We give it a shout out every episode. Check out his website that he created on Squarespace. It's beautiful.

[Jared]

Dawn City.

[Ryland Adams]

And Ryland's soon to be disgusting website that I am scared of.

[Shane Dawson]

It's a money maker.

[Ryland Adams]

And if you want to make your own website, all you got to do is go to squarespace.com grower for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use Offer Code grower to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com grower. Use code grower to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Thank you so much, Squarespace, for sponsoring and yeah, go check out Chris's website, not Rylan's. Okay, Judge, get us to court.

[Sally]

All right.

[Spencer]

Order in the court.

[Sally]

You look somewhere between, like, a judge and a Grandmother, like with like old white.

[Spencer]

You're going to jail for that.

[Sally]

Old white hair, nightgown, cute glasses, like, I don't know. To me it looks a little bit.

[Ryland Adams]

Like this episode is.

[Spencer]

What does Spencer look cool? I got away with another one. Sorry, what was it?

[Ryland Adams]

It was a nightgown. I feel crazy. Nightgown.

[Jared]

You've been getting the setups.

[Ryland Adams]

Dude, that feel like you wrote these.

[Spencer]

That was a good one.

[Shane Dawson]

That was good.

[Spencer]

I had to say it.

[Sally]

I was excited.

[Shane Dawson]

All right.

[Spencer]

I also realized I know all of them, so it's not going to work. It's going to be weird when I go, but.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, what?

[Spencer]

Does anyone want to go first?

[Ryland Adams]

I kind of want to go.

[Spencer]

Okay, Shane.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, Sandy, let's start with you.

[Sandy]

Okay.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, so you pick one of yours and you don't know what it is. Wait, where's Jared going?

[Sandy]

I think he might pee in his pants.

[Sally]

Did you show the butt emoji that you have on the on your stand?

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, thank you so much for pointing that out.

[Sandy]

Very housewives of you.

[Shane Dawson]

Very gay.

[Sandy]

Thank you, housewife of Atlanta.

[Shane Dawson]

I guess women have butts too.

[Sally]

When you see that emoji, do you see a peach or do you see butts?

[Spencer]

You're so gay you don't even realize women have put.

[Ryland Adams]

No, I don't really get the whole peach butt thing, but I'm here for it.

[Shane Dawson]

Looks like a butt.

[Sally]

It looks like a butt.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

It could be more bootylicious, period.

[Shane Dawson]

Take it up with Appleburg.

[Ryland Adams]

I got away with one. Oh, did I was right. Oh, my heart was racing.

[Spencer]

Was it bootylicious?

[Ryland Adams]

It was bootylicious.

[Sandy]

Wait, should we just not tell each other the word until somebody figures it out?

[Ryland Adams]

No, I had to.

[Shane Dawson]

I got so impatient.

[Spencer]

It doesn't seem like anyone's capable of.

[Shane Dawson]

Doing this because we're not minusing points. It's fine. It's just the first person to get all three wins.

[Jared]

I said one twice again. Iceberg.

[Shane Dawson]

Damn.

[Sandy]

What are you saying?

[Jared]

Right when I came back, I said I felt like I peed out of iceberg. Like I was pissing out an iceberg.

[Spencer]

We weren't getting out an iceberg.

[Shane Dawson]

How do you do it when everyone's like screaming? It doesn't work if I'm like, he.

[Spencer]

Did the skibidy one. He throw skibidy toilet.

[Jared]

Hey, don't hate on this. The strategy might seem a little bit unorthodox cuz it's the first time this is going to become strategy.

[Ryland Adams]

Let's not announce when we got Away with it until later because I had to. I had to say something because the fact that you guys thought I would just say bootylicious made my whole body hurt. But, like, okay, we got to do.

[Shane Dawson]

Mine's worse than that. So you think I'm just gonna go with it?

[Ryland Adams]

We have to. We just have to just go with it.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay. I'm so scared.

[Spencer]

Okay.

[Shane Dawson]

It's so embarrassing. Go with it. Adam Sandler movie.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, good one. Okay, Sandy, pick one of your options.

[Sandy]

All right, I have a certain specific set of rules surrounding even and odd numbers.

[Shane Dawson]

And so what do you want the class to do?

[Ryland Adams]

Say, if it's not real or. No, I interrogate her because it's hard.

[Spencer]

This is the interrogator.

[Ryland Adams]

Um, What? No, no, no.

[Sandy]

Okay, explain.

[Ryland Adams]

So, for example, when you were excited to eat those chocolate covered almonds, were you only gonna eat them in, like, even or odd numbers?

[Sandy]

Mm, even numbers.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay. When you wanted chili cheese tater tots, what if it came in an odd number?

[Jared]

Is that why you feel like we're feeding them to me?

[Sandy]

It's only with certain things that I'm specific on these rolls with.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, what is one thing you're specific about with these rules?

[Sandy]

Like grabbing paper towels.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Sandy]

Like, after you wash your hands.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, I will say this. I thought it was 1000% a lie, but that was very quick. That was really quick. And every time she's over, the paper.

[Jared]

Towels seem to go real quick.

[Shane Dawson]

I feel like the tater tot thing would have to be evens too. She'd be like, no, Jared has to eat one to make it even before I can touch them.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, judge. Yep, here we go.

[Spencer]

The verdict is in.

[Ryland Adams]

I think that was a lie.

[Sandy]

No, that's true.

[Shane Dawson]

Really?

[Ryland Adams]

I thought it was. I think you want a fool. I think you want a fool.

[Sandy]

Yeah, I want a fool. Right.

[Shane Dawson]

Then what does it apply to?

[Sandy]

Just like. So the paper towels is totally the real thing. Yeah. So after I wash my hands, I have to have, like, an even number of paper towels or what? I don't know. I just feel off like I just got an. And I'll count it too. Like, okay, 1, 2, 3. And then that even. This is probably a little bit extreme, is like, the volume on the tv. It has to be on, like, an even number. So it's not with everything. But there's certain little.

[Spencer]

But the tater tots. You don't care about the tater tots.

[Sandy]

How can you count them with those chili cheese anyways? Jeez.

[Shane Dawson]

See, that's where you threw me off. I mean, that's good, because you won. Because.

[Sandy]

Yeah, only with, like, a little certain things, but that's it.

[Shane Dawson]

So you have OCD tendencies?

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Sally]

Does everyone have some OCD tendencies? I guess just a me and Sandy.

[Jared]

I typically need things to be very clean, and I like to wear my socks very tight.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Jared]

And high.

[Shane Dawson]

Wait, is that. What. Is that what you just read?

[Spencer]

That was a prepared statement.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, Jared and Chris, Am I lying? You want to go next?

[Shane Dawson]

We're going.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay. Who's going?

[Sally]

Who's reading?

[Jared]

I can read mine.

[Spencer]

Jared will go.

[Sally]

All right.

[Shane Dawson]

If the court.

[Spencer]

The courts recognizes Jared.

[Ryland Adams]

Thank you, Jared.

[Jared]

I have stolen food off of the snack stations at Disneyland multiple times and have never. God, he doesn't even know it.

[Ryland Adams]

That has never been crazy.

[Sally]

Like, food. Like, actual meals or little snacks.

[Jared]

There's little stuff.

[Ryland Adams]

Wait, are you talking about, like, outside? I have to jump in. So, like, outside, like, Jungle Cruise? There's, like, you know where I grabbed a banana that once. There's, like, bananas and, like, meat sticks.

[Shane Dawson]

One of those, like, kiosks, a corn dog. Like a dog whip everywhere.

[Jared]

They're out in the open and. Bunch of stuff.

[Sally]

And why are you doing it? Like, is it, like, to skip a line? Is that, like, when there's, like, I'm starving.

[Jared]

There's a huge. Like, it's easy and I'm hungry.

[Ryland Adams]

Whoa.

[Spencer]

I'll allow one more question.

[Sally]

Thank you, your honor.

[Shane Dawson]

Final judgment.

[Sally]

You're welcome, I guess.

[Ryland Adams]

What?

[Sally]

Is there a part of the park you do this the most in?

[Jared]

It's kind of like off of Main Street. It seems to be the easiest.

[Shane Dawson]

I would.

[Jared]

I probably wouldn't do it anywhere else besides this one cart on Main Street.

[Sally]

I think I have.

[Spencer]

All right, the verdict is in.

[Sally]

That's a lie.

[Jared]

It is a lie. I didn't even know how to defend it.

[Ryland Adams]

Thank God.

[Jared]

I just thought. I'm just going to try to detail it today.

[Sandy]

I just thought of somebody off of Main street that's, like, so, like, general. Like a generic sale.

[Spencer]

That's right where you are. Off of Main Street.

[Jared]

It's in Tomorrowland. 40 steps in.

[Shane Dawson]

You should have said. Well, the pass is so expensive and they offer you perks, and I feel like I'm entitled to it.

[Sandy]

That makes sense because he's frugal.

[Ryland Adams]

Rylan and Spencer.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Spencer]

I once pooped in the Doritos bag and gave it to a friend as a prank.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, I'm sure this is true. How many years ago?

[Spencer]

That was during the fedora phase in Middle school.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, then it's definitely true. How did the friend react?

[Spencer]

It was just a little, like, dollop, and he was like, oh, how did you squeeze?

[Ryland Adams]

Is that a word?

[Shane Dawson]

Just a dollop?

[Ryland Adams]

No, you just say dollop as a measurement of poop.

[Spencer]

No, it was. I think that's all I had in.

[Sandy]

I just picture these little kids in the wood with, like, a fedora or, like, a top hat.

[Shane Dawson]

Like, this poopy bag.

[Spencer]

He's shitting into a bag.

[Jared]

I thought you guys were high class, dude.

[Shane Dawson]

I'm gonna say it's false.

[Spencer]

You would be correct.

[Ryland Adams]

Whoa.

[Shane Dawson]

It wasn't adding all the way up.

[Ryland Adams]

That was very scary. So I made that one for him.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

So watching him lie like that was interesting.

[Spencer]

Well, Rylan really gave me an easy one at the beginning by saying, oh, this is, like. This is for sure true. And it's like, you could be like, yeah, yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

They, like, visualized you in the park with the. The fedora bag.

[Shane Dawson]

I saw it, and then I was just like, it's a little too gross. It's just a little too nasty.

[Spencer]

Yeah, I agree.

[Ryland Adams]

What was your real one?

[Spencer]

My real one? What was it? Unbeknownst to me, I convinced my 6th grade classmates I was gay due to a specific pair of pants.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, that was very you.

[Ryland Adams]

And then you just go along with it till high school.

[Spencer]

No, I didn't know.

[Shane Dawson]

I didn't know.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, I didn't know they thought I was gay.

[Spencer]

I didn't know they thought I was gay.

[Shane Dawson]

You would just be wearing stylish.

[Spencer]

I was gonna wear. No, I was gonna dress as an alien for the. For the dance. And then I also. I think I was like, I hadn't hit fully hit puberty yet. And someone at the same. I was wearing the outfit, and someone's talking about, like, sex. I was like, ugh, sex. Like, I was like, that's gross. About, like, sex with some girl. And then, like, later, I was like, yeah, we all thought you were gay for, like, a while.

[Sandy]

Okay, what is it going to be?

[Ryland Adams]

I might pick a different one.

[Spencer]

You might not like the other one.

[Shane Dawson]

You're not going to confess about genital warts, right? Wait, what?

[Sally]

I'm just saying what you just did.

[Shane Dawson]

4.

[Jared]

Is that one of your words? Genital warts?

[Ryland Adams]

I was like, I definitely don't have to.

[Spencer]

I was like, what the fuck?

[Shane Dawson]

You're out.

[Spencer]

Who does that?

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Sally]

That was good, though.

[Sandy]

Ryland just came and. Hold it in.

[Jared]

It's not like he said dark city. That was so funny.

[Shane Dawson]

How am I Going to bring up genital warts.

[Spencer]

That was a good one.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, my confession.

[Shane Dawson]

What? It's yours, right?

[Ryland Adams]

I got it.

[Shane Dawson]

I'm just like.

[Spencer]

If it's your confession, you're not allowed to say anything this round.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Ryland Adams]

I once hung out very late at night with a former Disney star, and they were trying to convince me to do some hardcore pegging. Whoa, hardcore what? Pegging. Pegging.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't even know.

[Sandy]

Okay, when is that a dildo? What year was this a deal, though?

[Jared]

Is it sexual?

[Sandy]

What year was this?

[Ryland Adams]

This was. So this is 2014.

[Shane Dawson]

Just missed the throwback.

[Jared]

Okay, pre throwback.

[Sandy]

Are we thinking Disney, like in the era of 2008? And then was this. Did this happen? Where did this happen?

[Ryland Adams]

At their house?

[Sandy]

I'm gonna say it's a lie.

[Ryland Adams]

It is a lie.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Sandy]

There was no way he was gonna admit to that if that. Really.

[Sally]

Also, you gotta say what pegging is for them.

[Ryland Adams]

And hardcore pegging was one of my words.

[Sandy]

I know.

[Ryland Adams]

It's cheating.

[Shane Dawson]

It's cheating.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, here's what actually happened. So Spencer gave me Hillary Duff once, leaned over and sucked my ear during a shoot when no one was looking. There's no way.

[Spencer]

I know, but I was like. But we had just talked about your interacting with Hillary Duff, and I was like, oh, she could have done something crazy.

[Shane Dawson]

Right?

[Ryland Adams]

Right. I could not sell that one.

[Shane Dawson]

The other one's true.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, okay, well, here's another.

[Sandy]

Okay, well, now I'm very confused.

[Spencer]

The web of lies is becoming.

[Ryland Adams]

Here's another thing. So I did not think of one, and it was like at the last minute, and I was like, oh, fuck, I don't have one. He's like, I'll just give you two fake ones. It's okay.

[Spencer]

I can think of another one.

[Ryland Adams]

There's two fake ones. One of them is typed out and one of them is just that. So I read that one and then I opened up the second one. It's just a more typed out version of the same exact one. I was like, okay, that's all right.

[Spencer]

I was kind of in a rush, preparing the game before this.

[Jared]

No, you didn't have aesthetics. Wanted him to have two envelopes.

[Spencer]

Oh, I forgot to print out. Yeah, I forgot to print out.

[Ryland Adams]

I will also say it's not that I was being lazy. I thought of Ryland's. I thought of Ryland's confession for him. I was doing work, contributing.

[Shane Dawson]

He thought of mine. So who's gonna guess for me? Spencer can't, because he knows I can't.

[Sandy]

Okay, I'LL ask.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay. I once douched at an Airbnb and got shit all over the walls if.

[Sally]

I had a nickel.

[Shane Dawson]

That's rough, dude.

[Sandy]

Man. Okay.

[Jared]

Nickel is one of Chris's words.

[Ryland Adams]

Is it? No.

[Sandy]

Who is with you?

[Shane Dawson]

Shane.

[Sandy]

Who cleaned it up afterwards if it got all the.

[Shane Dawson]

I mean me. You think Shane's gonna clean up my shit?

[Jared]

Felt like a waste of a question, to be honest with you.

[Shane Dawson]

You. He probably should have.

[Ryland Adams]

Anytime there's poop involved with anything, Rylan's like, you do it.

[Shane Dawson]

Uhoh.

[Jared]

Helping himself.

[Shane Dawson]

He's talking about dogs.

[Spencer]

When you douche your dogs and doody butter went everywhere. It's a hard word.

[Sandy]

You know what I'm only gonna do.

[Ryland Adams]

That's worse.

[Shane Dawson]

That's it.

[Spencer]

It's the worst one.

[Sandy]

I'm only gonna say it's true because of Shane's reaction when you said it. So I think that is true.

[Shane Dawson]

It is true. What? No way.

[Ryland Adams]

Do you want. I can explain some of it.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't even. Really. I would have never. I would have never.

[Sally]

And then you guys never gave each other rim jobs ever again after that.

[Ryland Adams]

Is that a word?

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

That was good, though.

[Shane Dawson]

Damn it.

[Ryland Adams]

That was good, though. I could tell you get excited afterwards. No, here's. It actually had nothing to do with sex. So what happened was.

[Shane Dawson]

I was. Sorry.

[Ryland Adams]

Constipated. You were having, like, a serious stomach thing. We were in Palm Springs. We're on low vacation, and he was miserable. And his stomach was so plugged up. He was miserable. And then I was like. Like, I mean, you could, like, give yourself an enema. And then he was just like, what are you talking. I was like. I don't know. Like, just maybe put a water bottle and squeeze it. Like you get things moving.

[Shane Dawson]

So he created a water bottle douche.

[Ryland Adams]

Wow. And I did it for him because.

[Shane Dawson]

Standing in the bathtub.

[Ryland Adams]

That's so sweet.

[Shane Dawson]

This is like in our first.

[Ryland Adams]

And I used warm water. It was. It was really early on, but he was so miserable and so much pain. So then I squeezed the whole thing and he was like, oh, God. Oh, God. And then it all just started spraying everywhere.

[Sandy]

No.

[Ryland Adams]

In London. That. We sound like such jet setters.

[Jared]

I was douching my butt in London.

[Sandy]

The hotel, wearing my top hat, sweeting my sphincter.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't even remember.

[Ryland Adams]

I don't know what you're.

[Spencer]

I don't think anyone heard, but I got it.

[Shane Dawson]

Good job. I think poop all over the walls was a little exaggeration.

[Ryland Adams]

So we were in. We were In London. You guys know when you travel, it's over. Like, your stomach, it's a problem. So that happened to me, but it was, like, really, really bad. And I was not enjoying the trip or anything. And I was, like, trying to figure out what to do, and I googled it and it was just like, you know, the enema thing. So then that's when I tried it for myself and it worked. So I knew a few months later, I was like, well, I did this and maybe it'll work for you.

[Shane Dawson]

Cute. Wow.

[Ryland Adams]

And it did.

[Spencer]

You deserve an award for that.

[Ryland Adams]

Like husband of the year.

[Sandy]

Poop everywhere.

[Jared]

You just got.

[Spencer]

Well, you guys cleaned it up, right?

[Jared]

It might just be a shower situation.

[Ryland Adams]

Was husband of the year award. Oh, okay. You just really believe.

[Sandy]

No, but I keep saying mine, guys, and you guys are not catching.

[Ryland Adams]

What was it?

[Sandy]

I. I don't want to say it.

[Ryland Adams]

Wow.

[Sandy]

I'm going to keep using it.

[Shane Dawson]

All right.

[Spencer]

What do you think about your it?

[Sandy]

It was top hat.

[Ryland Adams]

Wait, has Chris done his yet? No. No. Is this the finale?

[Sally]

Oh, no, it'll be a lot.

[Spencer]

It is the finale.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, Chris, I think we should all be able to interrogate.

[Sally]

Oh, that's terrifying.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Sally]

All right, let's see. While in a mosh pit at a punk show, I got hit so hard in the head, I couldn't see out of my eye for close to a year.

[Shane Dawson]

That's very crisp.

[Jared]

That is very cris. Even down to the wording.

[Sandy]

Thanks. Spencer probably knows that.

[Shane Dawson]

I don't know that. Pretty impressive for me to be that detailed.

[Jared]

Okay, I'll ask one question. Who was the band?

[Sally]

It was lower class breath.

[Sandy]

That sounds like a Lyle switch eye.

[Jared]

Someone else got the question.

[Sally]

It was my right eye, which is my good eye.

[Ryland Adams]

What'd the girl look like? I don't know.

[Sally]

In a mosh pit.

[Spencer]

You have no idea what's going on.

[Ryland Adams]

It's literally flashes of bodies hoping for the best.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Sally]

I honestly don't even know definitively who hit me.

[Sandy]

What did you do right after?

[Sally]

I kept moshing, but it hurt.

[Jared]

I mean, I wanted to leave, but look like, I don't know. You're not gonna stop.

[Shane Dawson]

What?

[Sally]

I've, like, cut my arm open at shows and like, been bleeding and been like, oh, we'll deal with that later. That just happened at Warped Tour.

[Ryland Adams]

I think it's true. Get a vote. We got.

[Spencer]

I say true.

[Jared]

It's really. Is Spencer that good or is this just true? Spence might be lying because it sounds very crisp.

[Spencer]

It's time for the verdict.

[Sandy]

I think Spencer's gotten that, Jared.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Jared]

True, true.

[Spencer]

We have three truths, one lie. Chris, will you reveal that was a lie.

[Sandy]

I knew it. I knew it.

[Jared]

Spencer is back.

[Sandy]

Dude, Spencer, you're so good.

[Jared]

It's all about Spencer.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, thank you.

[Ryland Adams]

It's all about crime and.

[Sally]

But that felt easy to lie about because, like a lot of the everything I said is basically true.

[Ryland Adams]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Can I be honest?

[Ryland Adams]

I thought it was true. Cause I was like, you've told this story on the podcast.

[Sally]

I think the only thing not true about it was the eye part. Like everything else.

[Shane Dawson]

That's one of the elements that had been listed. That gets brought up previously. Yeah. So what's your true one?

[Sally]

My true one is I was straight cucked by a good friend of mine and his girlfriend. We never spoke of it again.

[Ryland Adams]

Wait, what does that mean?

[Sally]

So what happened was we were in my room and my. It was me and my. I just come out to my friend. It was him, his girlfriend, and me and my boyfriend, my first ever boyfriend. And we were just sitting there and he was like, you know what? If you, like, prove it. If you, like, fuck your boyfriend right now, I'll have sex with my girlfriend right now. Like, but to prove it. And I was like, what? And then he's like, yeah. Like, you go, we'll go. And I was like, huh? And he looked at his girl and she's like, yeah, yeah, we'll go. And I was like, what? And then they just started having sex and I didn't agree to anything. They just started doing that. And I was like, ugh. We didn't. We didn't.

[Spencer]

That's what I was saying. He's a straight cook.

[Ryland Adams]

We left. That's a lot. Do you still talk to this friend?

[Sally]

Not really.

[Ryland Adams]

Where'd it go? Are they still together?

[Spencer]

No.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, okay. Wow. Well, fun game. Okay, let us know. Should we play that again? I like. I liked it.

[Shane Dawson]

I liked it too.

[Sandy]

That was fun.

[Jared]

That was fun.

[Spencer]

You guys are gonna have to think of some more stuff that happened in your lives.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, you gotta give us like a week. You gotta give us like a week.

[Spencer]

I'll get more of a heads up.

[Sandy]

Well, I gave Spencer like a whole list. I didn't know what he was looking for.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, you guys go. Hopefully you enjoyed that game. Also, before we take a break, how many people have words left? You have one.

[Spencer]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

I failed at two and was successful at one.

[Sally]

I was successful at two. Failed at one.

[Ryland Adams]

Okay, well, Spencer, the grand finale. Will you get to say your word during Conspiracy Corner.

[Spencer]

Ooh, maybe.

[Ryland Adams]

All right, we're gonna take a little break. When we come back, it's Conspiracy Corner and True Crime, and they are crazy. Stick around.

[Shane Dawson]

Not our 2016 challenge. Right here.

[Ryland Adams]

Aw.

[Spencer]

Was that the same trip to London you were talking about?

[Ryland Adams]

Yes, right before I came.

[Shane Dawson]

That's when he was constipated.

[Ryland Adams]

Not.

[Shane Dawson]

Not me. But that's crazy.

[Ryland Adams]

I know.

[Sandy]

I was wondering, how long do you. Is it okay then to post about it? Like, do you wait, like, is a.

[Jared]

Week long, like, for the trend?

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, we can still do it today.

[Sandy]

No, but I'm saying, like, so I like seeing it because I kind of did, like, a draft.

[Ryland Adams]

How?

[Sandy]

You were mentioning it before and I didn't post it.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, we both deleted our draft.

[Sandy]

Yeah. And so it's like, is it too late? I don't know. It's always hard to tell.

[Shane Dawson]

Let's hold each other's hands after this and just hit post. Yeah.

[Jared]

Come on.

[Sandy]

Anything. You do it first and then I'll see.

[Ryland Adams]

No, you got to do it.

[Jared]

You got to do it. You got to do it.

[Shane Dawson]

You know what?

[Ryland Adams]

It's also never too late for the right pair of headphones. And you know where you can get those from?

[Shane Dawson]

Tell us.

[Ryland Adams]

Raycon.

[Jared]

That's right.

[Ryland Adams]

Today's episode is sponsored by Raycon. Thank you so much. Please don't go anywhere. Let me explain, Chris.

[Sally]

Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

You go nowhere without your Raycon everyday earbuds.

[Sally]

No, literally, like, they're in my car right now. They're on my person at all times.

[Shane Dawson]

This person.

[Sally]

And like, Yeah, I don't know. I can't live life without them anymore. Like, when I forget them, my day is ruined.

[Sandy]

Why not? Jared always wears his Raycons at the.

[Shane Dawson]

Gym as a walk star. You've got black. Black?

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

Nice.

[Jared]

I like the classy, elegant look that they have.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

Raycon also has. They have so many different colors. They have, you know, the black and the white, but they also have different colors. They have this lavender. They have a cool mint. That's beautiful. And they're very monochromatic. Like, the case matches the actual earbuds. It's so pretty. And obviously they have so many different features. They have the active noise cancellation. They have multi point connectivity, which means you can pair two dev at once. I know. So you could be like watching something on your phone and you can switch over to your laptop. It's very easy. You don't have to pair and unpair and do all that crap. They also have 32 hours of battery life with the case and a quick charge function where 10 minutes gives you 90 minutes of playtime. So if you haven't checked out Raycon yet, please go to the website. Check it out. They obviously have more than just the everyday earbuds. They have so many different items, but those are so great and they're so affordable. You can literally get two pairs of those for the price of one of the other brands. And they are giving you guys a very special deal. All you gotta do is go to buyraycon.com grower to get 15% off. That's buyraycon.com growers to get 15% off. So thank you so much, Raycon, for sponsoring and thank you for keeping our ears company. Guys, we've been sitting down for a while. I would say my butt's starting to fall asleep. I think we need to do something to get up. Maybe we could kick off. That's right. Today's episode is sponsored by Kickoff. If you haven't heard about them, where have you been? We've been kicking off for years. Kickoff helps you build your credit fast and it is so easy to use. You can sign up in minutes. And having good credit is so important. Literally, like whether you're trying to get a loan for a house or a car or anything involved with running your credit, you have to make sure your credit is at a certain point to where you'll get approved. And if your credit's low, it can take a long time to get it back up. But with Kickoff, they make it so easy and they help you get it up fast. It all works with autopay. So once you sign up and you pick your your plan, you start auto paying for the service. Credit bureaus see that as good behavior and it starts building up your credit. Users with credit scores under 600 grew an average of 25 points in their first month with on time payments.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Sandy]

I love looking at my credit.

[Shane Dawson]

I do too.

[Sandy]

I love looking at our credit and seeing like, how many points. What, what moved? What changed?

[Jared]

I love seeing my credit go up.

[Ryland Adams]

So Kickoff wants to help you guys build your credit. All you gotta do is go to getkickoff.com grower and you can get your free first month for as little as $1. That's 80% off the normal price. When you go to getkickoff.com Grower must sign up via getkickoff.com grower to activate.

[Sally]

Offer.

[Ryland Adams]

Offer applies to new Kickoff customers first month only. Subject to approval. Offer subject to change. Average first year credit score impact of 84 points. VantageScore 3.0 between January 2023 and January 2024 for kickoff, credit account users who started with a score below 600, who paid on time, and who had no delinquency frequencies or collections added to their credit profile during the period. Late payments may negatively impact your credit score. Individual results may vary. They have over 1 million users and hundreds of thousands of positive reviews. And that's why they are the number one credit building app on the app store. So thank you so much, Kickoff for sponsoring. Please check them out, help build up your credit and yeah, enjoy the rest of the show. Hey, welcome back to Dong City. I'll never stop saying it.

[Shane Dawson]

It's so good. Dong.com. it has such a good ring to it. These are probably to take you to Dong City. Let me just see. Dong.

[Ryland Adams]

Dong.

[Spencer]

Let me just see. Might as well check.

[Shane Dawson]

I might as well just see if.

[Jared]

Dong city isn't taken by it.

[Ryland Adams]

Wait, can you.

[Jared]

It'll be worth something.

[Ryland Adams]

Dongcity.com.

[Shane Dawson]

What are we gonna put on dongcity? Dongcity.com.

[Sandy]

And I'm not gonna stickers.

[Shane Dawson]

Let me just say dong.com has a better ring. Dong.

[Spencer]

If you are just looking to get a website, guys, get dong.com. no, we're not gonna do it. But you guys can do it.

[Shane Dawson]

Dong City.com is for sale too. Stop.

[Jared]

But is it for sale for cheap or is someone that owns it trying to sell it back to you for, like, a lot?

[Shane Dawson]

They want a pretty penny. Ding, ding, ding.

[Jared]

I think they're undervaluing.

[Sandy]

We're all pitching in. We're all pitching in after this.

[Shane Dawson]

Should I buy it now with Apple pay?

[Ryland Adams]

Wait, how much?

[Shane Dawson]

4.99.

[Jared]

If Dong City is available, you're on the phone and you could buy it right now. You're crazy not to.

[Ryland Adams]

You should buy Dong City.

[Sandy]

Yeah, you gotta use my card first.

[Shane Dawson]

You don't care.

[Ryland Adams]

You don't care about conspiracies anyways. Just don't have Dong City.

[Jared]

How about this?

[Shane Dawson]

Can you imagine? Imagine buying.

[Jared]

It's a race for Dong City. Race for Dong City.

[Ryland Adams]

Jared's buying it.

[Sandy]

Buy it.

[Shane Dawson]

What's he doing?

[Spencer]

Race for Dong City.

[Shane Dawson]

No, you're not gonna do it.

[Ryland Adams]

He's looking like he's gonna do.

[Jared]

I'll buy Dong City right now. This is the bitcoin opportunity, I guess.

[Sandy]

Regardless, I'm putting cooter stickers on that website. Whoever gets it, okay, if you walk down the.

[Shane Dawson]

Look, look.

[Jared]

I'm looking at it from an SEO standpoint. If you walk down the street and someone's oh, you got a website. It's like, yeah, Dong city dot com.

[Ryland Adams]

City on a car. The winner of the game, Someone in this room bought dongcity.com and when you're watching this episode right now, it is live. Go to dongcity.com and see who bought my website there.

[Shane Dawson]

My real.

[Sandy]

I feel like it's going to. One day it's going to have a ton of views and then nothing else.

[Shane Dawson]

If it was under 100, I would have done it.

[Spencer]

Conspiracy.

[Shane Dawson]

Of course.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, speaking. Someone got arrested at Chuck E. Cheese again. Again. There was another Chucky arrest. We've gotten so many emails about it. I have not seen this video yet. I'm kind of scared to. Oh, no.

[Sandy]

How traumatized seems.

[Ryland Adams]

Why do they do it in front of the kids?

[Sally]

Yeah, they don't have to.

[Ryland Adams]

To do that. Oh, my God. Wait, why is the kid following?

[Spencer]

That was the main reason this went viral is like, why are you letting your kid.

[Shane Dawson]

That's. That's where he lives, Chucky. That's where he lives in prison.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, that's where he lives.

[Shane Dawson]

I mean, listen, why don't they just escort them to the back and then the cop gets them from the.

[Ryland Adams]

I'm going to give Chuck E. Cheese some advice.

[Shane Dawson]

Like you haven't before.

[Ryland Adams]

Next time one of your mice gets arrested, how about having employee casually walk over and go, chucky, you have a friend in the back that you know wants to see you, and you're. Chucky, go.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh.

[Ryland Adams]

And then you arrest him in the back.

[Shane Dawson]

Or just like, Chucky, it's break time.

[Ryland Adams]

Yeah. Little cheese in the back. It's a cheese break. Something like that. So, you know, a child doesn't watch their favorite mascot get arrested. Yeah, yeah.

[Spencer]

It's sort of like the opposite of how well Disney would handle that. Like, I don't know what they would do.

[Sally]

Oh, you would never know.

[Shane Dawson]

Never. Yeah, you never see it.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, wow. Okay, this next theory is niche. But this me up. It ruined my week. Starbucks. Hear me out.

[Shane Dawson]

I thought it's pretty big.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, no, this is niche. I thought that I was getting really close to my barista. Now, I haven't met my barista yet because I postmate every day, But I will tell you, every morning, when my coffee would come, the messages would get progressively nicer, right? It would start with, you know, have a nice day. The next one, you know, it would be like, progressively more and more uplifting and almost more personal and almost more like, oh, my God, this is like my friend now. And that one of them was like, oh, my God. Good choice. Or something. I'm like, she likes my order. Like, you know, it's getting more and more like that. This is so sweet. But then it started getting a little more, like, random. So, for example, one day my order came, and it just said, nom nom. It's not even food, and it's not even food. You don't nom nom a drink. No, I wouldn't like that. Okay. I still took a picture of it.

[Shane Dawson]

And the licky, like, the tongue out is a little, like. It's, like, actually cooterish.

[Sandy]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Jared]

Cooter is not licking that tongue's head for the rim of a cooter lip.

[Spencer]

We've had a lot of jokes, but cooter is not a joke.

[Sandy]

You're crossing the line. Okay, Rylan, Crossing the line.

[Ryland Adams]

There something negative about a cooter.

[Shane Dawson]

I think oral sex feels good. I think it's just a hot take.

[Sandy]

I think just the way you said it. Okay, okay, I like it now. I like cooterish.

[Shane Dawson]

I'm sorry if what I said was crucifixion to be negative. It was positive.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, anyway, so then the next day, I got Starbucks, and it just said, wowza. And I was like, okay, what the is going on?

[Shane Dawson]

That feels like fat shaming, especially because.

[Sandy]

All the drinks are.

[Spencer]

That's kind of what I thought.

[Ryland Adams]

Wowza. I was a little triggered, and I was like, whoa, you really need to pick me up.

[Shane Dawson]

What happened to my.

[Ryland Adams]

What happened to my barista? Did she get fired? Is this a new person? Like, she doesn't get my wavelength. So then I think I was talking about this on the Patreon podcast, and then somebody in the comments said, this is actually a new thing Starbucks has implemented into their plan or whatever. They are now forcing the baristas to write things on the cups besides just the name. Now they have to write something as.

[Shane Dawson]

If they're not already busy enough. Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

So I saw this on Reddit. It says, is writing on cups supposed to speed up service or something? I don't have an issue with service speed, personally. Just ask asking because it seems like.

[Shane Dawson]

A ridiculous requirement slowing it down.

[Ryland Adams]

Somebody said, no, it's to improve customer relations. It does slow us down. But the new CEO is all about increasing customer connection, which fucking works. I literally. I created this thing in my head. I saw this barista in my head being like, I love Shane. Like, not me as, you know, YouTuber, just me as a customer. Like, he orders from us every day. I'm gonna surprise him with little messages. I literally thought I was like, maybe I should go in tomorrow and be like, I'm here. Like, I literally created a storyline not real. So then some. Can I show this?

[Sally]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

This is like a public article.

[Ryland Adams]

Public. Okay. So this is actually from a document that Starbucks gave their employees. So this is what they specifically say you have to do. Not sure what to write. Partners can opt for the following when writing on code. Also, keep in mind the guidelines shared about craft of connection. That's fucking craft of connection.

[Shane Dawson]

I mean, it works. He's not wrong.

[Ryland Adams]

Nope, they killed it. Add the customer's name, draw a smiley face, write a simple affirmation. You're amazing. None of Wowza counts as an affirmation.

[Shane Dawson]

Hold on. If you're only postmating and you get you're amazing, they have no idea who you are. This is like.

[Spencer]

Yeah, it's like, you're amazing.

[Ryland Adams]

I thought they knew you thought they.

[Shane Dawson]

Knew you were amazing.

[Ryland Adams]

No, I just thought I thought they were like, wow. Shane wakes up so early now. Like it's five morning, you know, share well wishes, see you today, or leave a simple hello again for regulars.

[Spencer]

Hello again is crazy. You know, that's scary.

[Shane Dawson]

I feel like coming back is better.

[Jared]

I felt special because they wrote thank you yesterday on my cups. And now I'm seeing that thank you is kind of like substandard right now. I think too many people just getting away with saying thank you and that's why this came out.

[Ryland Adams]

I don't know. It made me sad. Listen, like when you go to Dutch Bros and you know that legally they have to ask you what your favorite fucking animal is, it's enough to make.

[Shane Dawson]

Me not go anymore.

[Ryland Adams]

You know it's not real. You know they're lying. They don't want to do it either. But like this specific.

[Shane Dawson]

Some of them do. And you know who you are. I'm just saying. Whoa.

[Sally]

What?

[Spencer]

Do you like your job?

[Ryland Adams]

Fuck you guys. What? Are you happy? Go to dongcity.com.

[Shane Dawson]

Shut up.

[Jared]

Yeah, go to Dong City.

[Shane Dawson]

Sorry, that was mean. I'm just saying, like, I kind of agree with you. How could you fake excitement for someone's favorite animal? I couldn't. Wow. No. Is that really. Did I learn anything about you?

[Ryland Adams]

Well, giraffes too. This is crazy. I don't even know where to start with this. All right, this was an email we got from Maria. Which side note, if you want to send us any theories or Mandelas or anything like that, go to Shane Dawsonpodcast stuffmail.com or go to dongcity.

[Jared]

Yeah, go to Dong City. You're gonna likely see nothing.

[Spencer]

Podcastongcity.com.

[Ryland Adams]

Hi, Shane and friends. My name is Maria and I've been watching for a really long time. I'm from Portugal and Shane is the reason my English is so fluent now. Anywho, I just wanted to share this new fun app that's circulating. She put new fun app in quotes. It's called Fame Fi. And basically. This is crazy. This could make me cry. The whole concept is you can live stream, but the viewers are all AI bott and the comments are based on what they see and the questions that you answer. I don't know about you guys, but this was extremely dystopian to me. Watch this video. This is dark.

[Shane Dawson]

Ew.

[Ryland Adams]

Best prank ever. Your friends will think you're tick tock famous. What the hell? FameFly. Create an AI audience that interacts with you, learns from your streams, and even motivates you with hilarious comments like, nice try, Diddy.

[Sandy]

It's not just stream, it's fame reimagined.

[Ryland Adams]

Step into the spotlight with Fame Final.

[Shane Dawson]

It's not fame reimagined. It's fake.

[Ryland Adams]

This is a video. I. I hope this is like just an ad and these are their ad. Okay, these are an ad, but this is what it is. Ready, girls?

[Shane Dawson]

I cannot be the only one. Sometimes when I get ready, I'll talk to myself in the mirror like I'm talking to an audience. But guess what? I found this app. It's called Famify, and you basically get to go live with. It's fake. Everything's fake. The audience and everything, but it feels real. Audience actually replies to what you're saying. That way you're not actually talking to yourself.

[Sally]

What's the point?

[Shane Dawson]

Maybe one day you'll actually make you.

[Spencer]

Feel like you're like a famous streamer.

[Ryland Adams]

Make you feel like this, but you.

[Jared]

Know it's not real. To boost narcissism.

[Ryland Adams]

Yeah, I mean, it's like crazy, right?

[Jared]

So feel what it's like to go.

[Shane Dawson]

Live with an audience.

[Ryland Adams]

I could thinking I could cry right now. This is why this is so dark to me. Number one, I think kids are going to use this.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

I think it's going to be like for young kids who are on social media to, like, start doing this, and then they're going to feel a connection with all these AI bots and they're going to feel like they're part of this world where they're famous. And all these AI bots are like, that's to me, that's what's going to.

[Shane Dawson]

Happen until they start talking about dark subject matter. And then the AI bots are, like, cheering that on, and then something horrible happens and it's okay.

[Ryland Adams]

I don't want to get sued by FameFi. And I'm sure they have a lot of guidelines, and I'm sure you can't actually use it unless you're over 18 or something. I don't know, I haven't looked into it.

[Jared]

Or if your goal was to be like a hardcore streamer and you wanted to practice interacting with the chat room because it is kind of hard to, like, talk, look, deal with the chat room, whatever the case may be. But this is, to me, just, like, very weird, you know, Like, I think the world could be good without it. Possibly. Maybe.

[Spencer]

Allegedly.

[Ryland Adams]

There's another ad. I haven't seen this one. What is this one?

[Sandy]

How I make my Marvel rival sessions 10 times times more fun.

[Shane Dawson]

Did you see that move?

[Colby]

No.

[Jared]

My audience is loving this.

[Ryland Adams]

No. Do you want me to do that again?

[Shane Dawson]

All right.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, my God, the comments.

[Sandy]

Gaming is fun, obviously.

[Sally]

I hate it. I hate it.

[Ryland Adams]

I hate it. This is scary.

[Jared]

You can get verified, though.

[Shane Dawson]

Wait, you have to pay for the.

[Spencer]

Yeah, you're paying for it. You pay.

[Shane Dawson]

Basically, you're paying to feel famous.

[Spencer]

So it's like, look at. If you pay more for more viewers.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Dawson]

I want. I hate this.

[Sally]

Also, like, I don't know a nice.

[Shane Dawson]

Way to say this.

[Sally]

It's just like someone doing this is the saddest thing ever. I'm so sorry.

[Spencer]

I'm so sorry.

[Ryland Adams]

You can say it.

[Sally]

There's no nice way to say it. It's like, it's really sad. Don't do this.

[Ryland Adams]

I don't know. We're so fucked. Yeah, well, speaking of fucked and the world probably ending, where are we gonna go if the world world does end? Well, somebody has a plan. Okay. Colby, friend of ours sent me this and he was like, you should show this on the podcast. So I watched it and I was like, this is crazy. Check this out.

[Colby]

When you look at Elon Musk, he seems, like, insane and chaotic from the outside. Why does he have the boring company? That doesn't make any sense. He's drilling all these tunnels underground. Like, why would he do that? Well, if he wants to go to Mars, humans aren't going to live on the surface of Mars. They're going to live underground. So you're going to have to build massive tunnel complexes underground. Well, why does he have a solar company? He's going to have to be pretty good at building power plants, right? So why don't you build large solar fields? Because there's no real estate problems on Mars. So you can build like 5 miles solar field on Mars if you wanted. Why is he building a robotics company? Why does he have all these Tesla bots? You're not going to have 5 million humans show up overnight, but you shoot millions of robots, right, and use them as your labor force to help build up everything.

[Shane Dawson]

Whoa.

[Colby]

Atmosphere. Or any of these other things. Why does he have an AI company? Well, you need some sort of intelligence to coordinate and run and terraform the planet. Why does he need a battery powered car company? Because you're not going to be running internal combustion engines. There's no fossil fuels.

[Ryland Adams]

I know.

[Colby]

So you need battery powered cars to be able to drive them around so it's actually coherent. When you see that entire framework, he probably like wrote it all down while high end drunk and he's like, this makes so much sense.

[Sally]

I'm so smart.

[Sandy]

I like the added dig at the end.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

Literally. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. It all makes sense. Like I don't know the plan or who he's taking to Mars, but I don't think it's all about no.

[Shane Dawson]

Right.

[Sally]

No.

[Ryland Adams]

Is it a lottery system?

[Sally]

I will say AI is like finally learning how to advertise to me though.

[Ryland Adams]

What are they advertising?

[Shane Dawson]

Chubby boys.

[Sally]

And there was a beautiful chubby man. And I was like, oh, hey. I went back and it was like, I think I. I took up just.

[Spencer]

Jiggling those tickle bitties.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah. Was it like a cartoon or is that your word?

[Sally]

It was for a website where it was like, oh, here's like sign up and you'll have like a pal, like an AI pal or whatever. And you can make him say whatever you want or whatever. But I was like, whoa. This actually got me to like stop and look and be like, what is that? And I was like, oh, no. AI's even knowing how to advertise to me specifically with my weird.

[Spencer]

All it took was just a big fat guy.

[Sally]

Hey, no one else has done it before, Spencer.

[Spencer]

Okay, yeah, there we go. Dong City.

[Ryland Adams]

I don't know, it's very, very interesting and it makes me really like want to go through and look at everything Elon Musk has done and kind of put it to this theory. Like, is everything he's done as a part of this master plan? I mean, he's honest about wanting to go to Mars? Well, yeah. Keep an eye out, see what else he does and if it ties into this theory, and also once he goes to Mars, what are we all gonna do?

[Sally]

We're dead anyways.

[Sandy]

We're probably all dead by then.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, speaking of things that could throw me into a terrifying spiral, Spencer, you had something to break down. You started telling me about it and I was like, ooh, save it for the podcast. This is about Walmart.

[Sally]

Yeah.

[Spencer]

Yeah.

[Sally]

Hey, how does Walmart know what I'm buying in cash? I got an email from them this afternoon that says, hey, can you rate this product that you purchased recently? And I did purchase that product recently from Walmart.

[Ryland Adams]

I bought it in cash.

[Shane Dawson]

What? Right.

[Ryland Adams]

I walked to the electronics section and bought a USB charging cable with cash.

[Sally]

And then walked out.

[Shane Dawson]

And I know that the first year.

[Sally]

You'Ve already started to typing.

[Ryland Adams]

It's the Walmart app on your phone.

[Sally]

You.

[Ryland Adams]

That is a fair assumption. I do not have the Walmart app on my phone.

[Sally]

I have never had the Walmart app on my phone.

[Ryland Adams]

And further, I did not have my.

[Sally]

Phone with me on this trip.

[Ryland Adams]

Wait, that's crazy.

[Spencer]

Really crazy. And so I, I kind of fell down a little mini rabbit hole on this. And so immediately the comments are talking about. So former employee Walmart has been experimenting with facial recognition for like five years or more.

[Ryland Adams]

When you are out grocery shopping, you.

[Jared]

May not realize what is watching you.

[Ryland Adams]

Some supermarkets are using facial recognition technology, warning shoppers of technology collecting, storing and even sharing biometric data. So what does that mean? They. So if they're. This is just a theory, but they're. They see your face in the store on the cameras, but then how do they know your email. They have your system. Yeah.

[Spencer]

So basically what happened to this guy is they already had a profile on him because he has gone in with his phone before. And so this is like that guy, this is, this is how these technology work. Camera scans your face and converts it to straight data. It doesn't keep your picture, but it's more it. You know, the biometric. You keep hearing biometric data. That's like all the way your face is arranged and everything. So it keeps all that stuff. The store will have a ton of WI FI access points all over the place. A standard Walmart with this tech probably have over 100 or more. When your phone sends out looking for WI FI data, it gets to know your phone, it gets to associate your phone with your face. So it's building a whole profile on you. Using three or more WI FI access points, they can triangulate your position in the store, about a foot and a half variation. And when you go to make a purchase, there's another camera verifying the facial data, matching it with your Mac address and keeping the last four digit of the card you pay for. And so every time you go to Walmart, the profile becomes more and more accurate to the point where it may be able to recognize you by your face and your shopping habits. Habits alone. As for getting your email, I'm not sure how they did that, but I'm assuming it's something equally sinister. And just recently, they actually switched all Walmart stores over to. Or they're in the process of switching over to digital price tags. So they're going to be able to adjust the price as they want to. So think about those technologies combined. They can follow you around the store. They know what you buy. You're alone, you walk down an aisle, oh, he spends like this guy buys all this stuff all the time. We could bump A$2 onto the price. He's gonna buy it no matter what. All that sort of stuff.

[Ryland Adams]

The digital price tags we talked about, like maybe two years ago, I think they're already doing that at grocery stores.

[Jared]

I think on airplanes too. I think depending on your information, sometimes the price will be different.

[Ryland Adams]

That's so up.

[Spencer]

Yeah, it's.

[Sally]

Why is Walmart the only company that doesn't have Apple Pay?

[Ryland Adams]

They don't.

[Spencer]

Yeah, they don't even have Tap.

[Sally]

It drives me insane, actually.

[Ryland Adams]

They want to pretend like we don't even know how to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're actually. You're going to be able to pay.

[Jared]

By looking at it soon.

[Shane Dawson]

Whoa.

[Ryland Adams]

That is crazy. Crazy. Well, speaking of terrifying rabbit holes, Jared.

[Jared]

Yeah. So I was recently going down a rabbit hole. I saw one video and have you guys heard of the Richard Millie watch brand?

[Shane Dawson]

No.

[Jared]

So it's kind of like a hip thing. Like, I've only seen certain people talk about it, but they're these watches, but they're hundreds of thousands of dollars. And this article right here is saying that evidently what happened is when they first went to promote their product. Product, they had it listed for 13, 500, but there was a typo that made it $135,000. And people were interested and they were reaching out to the company and like, hey, like, yeah, how could we get a hold of one of these $135,000 watches? And then they started calling it Richard Malay. Oh, just to make it happen.

[Ryland Adams]

Are you kidding me?

[Jared]

Richard Mill's first advertisement. The advertising department misprints the Primary price.

[Shane Dawson]

They added zero.

[Jared]

They added a zero. He wanted to sell the RM001 for $13,500. They printed in the ad $135,000. Ten times the price the ad goes out. The RM team is like, you guys botched it. Like, who's going to buy this?

[Ryland Adams]

But then they start getting calls.

[Jared]

I have $135,000 burning a hole in my pocket right now and I would love my wrist. I want it on my wrist. And so this is why it's mill as a brand. It did not denies that this ever happened.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Ryland Adams]

They deny it, but I mean, obviously, yes, that's hilarious. Oh my God.

[Shane Dawson]

Genius. But they are selling for 135.

[Jared]

Oh, that would be, I think cheap now.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah, they're like, they're like, what?

[Ryland Adams]

Why are they so much?

[Jared]

Not on average, I don't think they're millions, but their base models are probably like.

[Ryland Adams]

Like, are they in the quarter million diamonds or something?

[Shane Dawson]

What?

[Sandy]

I wonder if like the first few people who bought this saw the material and were like, what the heck?

[Ryland Adams]

Like, this is 100.

[Sandy]

This isn't a worth 100.

[Jared]

I could have won this at Chucky.

[Sandy]

But then I wonder if. Then they started talking, making it seem like it was really worth that amount.

[Ryland Adams]

I think, I think, is that how it feels? People that buy things like that, it's I think for status and for, you know, people. Oh, you got one. You got one. Yeah, yeah. So I think it's, you know, it's interesting.

[Jared]

So the next one is in this world, you know, we, we talk about this elite group of people that rule over us called the Illuminati. Is generally perceived that it's for evil purposes.

[Shane Dawson]

Right.

[Jared]

I don't think we often talk about the Illuminati doing good, but as far as evil having power within this world, I think one way that has been theorized that they've done it is through people, right? Almost puppetry of humans. And that's kind of where this theory, it ties in because it's all about dead people that have come or that supposedly died, that have come back, or other people or people that got killed allegedly, but just continue living their life as another person. And. But there are people that are being used very strategically, like to send a message, to start a movement, a revolution, something like that. So the first one isn't. Isn't like super interesting, but if you can see it, is that Glenn Close. Glenn Close and George Washington.

[Ryland Adams]

But there's.

[Jared]

But they say like maybe George Washington was used for a very Specific purpose.

[Shane Dawson]

Right, right. Hold on.

[Jared]

And maybe they said. Maybe he said, yo, I want to come back.

[Ryland Adams]

I was like, famous. I was so with you.

[Jared]

No, stay with me.

[Ryland Adams]

Is she George Washington?

[Jared]

They are the same person.

[Ryland Adams]

Not George Washington, like vampire, where he's been around for hundreds of years.

[Jared]

That's.

[Ryland Adams]

That's.

[Sally]

If there's.

[Jared]

If there's a few ways that this theory could operate, that would be one of them.

[Shane Dawson]

Well, you know, Anne Hathaway is like Shakespeare's wife.

[Jared]

Okay, so I'm sounding less crazy.

[Sandy]

I like, I think, Jude Law. There's a lot of them.

[Jared]

On to the next picture. So the next picture, that's George Washington's wife.

[Ryland Adams]

But brutal.

[Spencer]

Absolutely brutal.

[Jared]

But go to the next picture. That's Glenn Close, his husband. What if people are saying that that's Martha Stewart. That's Martha. I mean, if you zoom in, there are.

[Ryland Adams]

You think that's Martha Stewart?

[Jared]

No, no, no, Martha.

[Shane Dawson]

That's pretty close.

[Spencer]

Look at.

[Shane Dawson]

Look at him.

[Ryland Adams]

That's Ronnie Stewart. Okay, but watch.

[Jared]

Look. It sounds crazy and I see it.

[Shane Dawson]

Zoom in.

[Jared]

I mean, it's like, who are we looking at?

[Ryland Adams]

I'm back. I'm back.

[Jared]

Okay, so this is.

[Sandy]

Let's go back to anathema.

[Shane Dawson]

Okay.

[Jared]

So it's a fun one. Look into it and kind of see, you know, if some of these seem plausible to you. But that was what I had.

[Ryland Adams]

Yeah. Wow, that was pretty cool.

[Jared]

Was that the heavy hitter of the bunch?

[Sandy]

That was a heavy sand.

[Ryland Adams]

You have a true crime story.

[Sandy]

Yes. Well, this one's even eerie because it's happening as we speak.

[Shane Dawson]

There's no resolution.

[Sandy]

No resolution as of yet. Maybe in a few days. Definitely. When this comes out.

[Jared]

Heavy speculation.

[Sandy]

Heavy. Yes. Okay, so this is about Brennan and Christine Banfield, and they are from Virginia, and they have a daughter. She's 4 years old. And in 2021, they decided to hire an aupair. You guys are familiar with this? It's like a nanny. So it's a nanny a live in. So it's essentially, you know, a nanny that you get from a foreign country. So they come and you have to, you know, provide some work for them to live as well as a siphon, you know, an amount of money. And so they chose Juliana Perez Magala. Something. I can't pronounce her last word. She's Brazilian. She comes to live with them in 2021, and about 10 months into her job, she starts having an affair with Brennan. So he's an IRS investigator.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, no.

[Sandy]

They have, you know, this affair and within A few months, she's stating that he's starting to have this plot about killing his wife because he doesn't want to divorce her and he doesn't want to share custody of the daughter. So what he comes up with is he ends up taking his wife's computer and he starts creating an account. They actually haven't decided yet who's created the account, whether it was him or her. And so they created an account from like allegedly from kinky website where you essentially gone off. You essentially post like, thank you, Jared.

[Spencer]

You're welcome.

[Jared]

No, thank you.

[Sandy]

So they created this account for the, this kinky website where you're able to post like your most kinky fantasy that you want and people respond to it and you find each other. Well, I believe it took them about a month or two to find somebody who didn't request to meet them to meet her in person. And she. But it was a husband, you know, opposing, as her told, allegedly told him, told this man, his name is Joseph Ryan, that she wanted to play out this fantasy where he comes into their home. She. She's asleep, and she requests that he bring a chain, a knife, a rope, these items. And he actually ends up taking a photo of them when he picks, when he buys them, and he sends it to her. And what happens is one night, Brendan is at McDonald's nearby the nanny, Juliana, is in the car with the daughter, and she sees this man coming into this house, calls the husband to essentially say, like, there's a stranger here, but really tipping him off to say, hey, he's here. So he ends up going to the house and goes upstairs. The wife is in bed and the Joseph Ryan is standing in front of her with the knife. And she yells out to Brendan and says, he's got a knife. So Brendan ends up getting a gun out, shoots Joseph Ryan, right? And then he stabs his wife in the neck. Allegedly stabs his wife in the neck until she dies. And so what happens then is that the nanny comes in, calls 91 1, and essentially is like, somebody is robbing us. You know, he broke into the house. He is trying to, you know, he killed my friend. He calls her my friend. But essentially her boss, the cops come and they're doing an investigation. So it really does look like Brendan, in self defense, killed him after he killed his wife. And then that happened in February. So in the same year, in 2023, they end up arresting Juliana. And for about a year, Brendan's mom ends up paying for her lawyer throughout this whole year. And Juliana's writing letters to Brendan saying how, you know, saying that she loves him and that she's going to take the blame for everything and, you know, just really romantizing, like, their relationship. And it wasn't until 2024 in September, they end up actually convincing her to do a plea deal where she gets less time, is able to go back to Brazil with her family, and as long as she turns in this information about Brendan, so she ends up signing it automatically. Brendan's mom stops paying for the lawyer, and now they're in trial for Brendan's being accused of murder of killing Joseph Ryan and his wife. And word today came out that there's no evidence of him being, like, at the scene. Like, there's no, like, DNA evidence, but they're saying that the blood never lies. So the blood trail that was left because what he ended up doing was grabbing some of her blood and putting it on Joseph Ryan to make it look like he's the one that was stabbing her. But they said, no, that doesn't make sense. Like, the blood trail, the way it's shown, like, it doesn't make sense that that's where he would have blood if he was standing over her stabbing her. Yeah. So right now they're on trial and they only have two more witnesses left. And it's supposed to be. They thought that this trial was going to take weeks, and it's only been, like, four days.

[Jared]

So by now, the information might be out by now.

[Sandy]

Yeah.

[Shane Dawson]

So they did this whole thing to get rid of the wife, and now they're not even together.

[Sandy]

Yeah. And they said that the reason, because they were asking her, like, well, why did you turn? Because they had asked her, they had tried to do a plea deal right when she first got arrested. And they were saying, like, why now? Why are you doing the plea deal now? And she said, honestly, like, people are essentially offering to buy her story. And, you know, when she was a nanny, she was only making 200 bucks a week. And she's like, you know, the whole reason I came to work is because I needed to send money to my family. And she's like, and if I'm gonna be able to get this amount, she's essentially going back to Brazil with, like, over $100,000. And all just for this information.

[Shane Dawson]

Wow.

[Spencer]

He could have avoided all this by just getting into force. Yeah, it would have been so much easier.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, sad story. Good delivery. I'm curious to see how it all unfolds.

[Sandy]

Yeah, I'm glued to the TV right now.

[Ryland Adams]

Wow.

[Shane Dawson]

Yeah.

[Ryland Adams]

Well, Speaking of glued to the tv, let's do a recap. I don't know.

[Sandy]

Mike, camera action.

[Shane Dawson]

Rylan's recap is about to happen. Rylan's recap on today's episode of the Shane Dawson Podcast. Jared is now the proud owner of donkcity.com we're moguls.

[Spencer]

We're tech moguls.

[Jared]

It all begins.

[Ryland Adams]

The problem is, I think we've said it too many times and now people aren't gonna wanna go.

[Sandy]

I agree.

[Ryland Adams]

Oh, we burned out the dong.

[Shane Dawson]

You burned the bit.

[Jared]

We'll see why. That's a wrong observation.

[Shane Dawson]

And if you guys are burnt out on dongcity.com. dong.com is my website.

[Ryland Adams]

I have a game. How about by the next episode that we shoot? Whoever gets more hits to their website wins something.

[Shane Dawson]

How do we compare? I'm done with winning prizes with you because I know. What price did anyone pay?

[Jared]

How about this? Let's let the prize be $512.64. Let me recoup my investment. I think Dong City's going to the moon.

[Sandy]

I'm over Dong City.

[Shane Dawson]

Spencer looks like everyone, but does he most look like somebody from the 90s or your favorite TV show?

[Sandy]

All of the above.

[Shane Dawson]

Let us know in the comment section below. Walmart's tracking you and so am I.

[Ryland Adams]

I did not like that look. Up and down. Don't do it again.

[Spencer]

That was good puppeteering.

[Ryland Adams]

People are faking being live on TikTok.

[Shane Dawson]

Oh, no. That's almost too dark for me.

[Ryland Adams]

You guys, do we need Steve Hartley to enter the chat?

[Shane Dawson]

Hey, Sally, what did you find interesting this week?

[Jared]

Well, I will say that as a man of high intellectual value, I've already invested it. Majorbucks into dongcity.com. i see it going places. It's going to the moon. I actually have a personal blog on the website this week. I will be in regular correspondence with everyone through dongcity.com.

[Shane Dawson]

So while we're on private parts, what do you think about Sandy talking so much about cooters?

[Sandy]

Oh, my God.

[Jared]

I'll be honest, it threw me off a little bit. But I will say I chuckled.

[Shane Dawson]

Sally, Starbucks baristas are gaslighting us. But it's not their fault. It's the dumb CEO who's making them feel like we are part of the friendships. Aww.

[Ryland Adams]

Yeah, that.

[Jared]

Like I said, I've been pondering the thank you I got last night. All day, feeling very good about myself, thinking, wow, how nice of them. But I've come to realize that was about the laziest thing they could have put on my cup.

[Shane Dawson]

I see you're drinking out of something that resembles a Starbucks cup. What does your cup say today?

[Jared]

Oh, no, this is from rei. This is all about outdooring. This actually has a canteen on the bottom that I could heat food on, so never disrespect me like that again.

[Shane Dawson]

REI probably doesn't leave messages.

[Sandy]

Oh, but Leon Musk is creating life in Mars.

[Ryland Adams]

Leon Musk?

[Sandy]

Elon Musk.

[Shane Dawson]

Ever been suspicious about what Leon Musk is doing here on Earth? Creating electric cars. Cars with batteries, solar things, pouring companies, everything else. Well, when you watch voice crack there, Sally. Well, when you watch conspiracy videos online, they'll tell you he's creating all of these things to work in unison so we can live on Mars. Who's going? Ladies.

[Sandy]

Oh, and we played sitting on a secret.

[Shane Dawson]

Who wants sitting on a secret?

[Ryland Adams]

I think Jared.

[Jared]

Yeah, Jared actually won. He was the best at that game. Very amazing. And word, I just got in from Jared that he was sitting on a Secret for about 30 minutes, but recently had to let it out.

[Sally]

Ryland all over a hotel wall.

[Jared]

Oh, keep it going, Chris. Keep it going.

[Sandy]

If I didn't, I would never.

[Shane Dawson]

Anywhere. Looks like that's all the time we had. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I know. No, I did. Oh, it was delicious. I could probably rewind it and start all over from the beginning if you want some merch. Shane DawsonMerch.com and everyone's links are in the description section below.

[Spencer]

Okay, good night, Cuda Coder.

[Ryland Adams]

Good job, Sally and Rylan and every other puppet involved. Thank you guys so much for watching. Hopefully you had fun with us and yeah, let us know in the comments. Comments, who Spencer looks like? Only positive answers. All right, see you guys next time.

[Sally]

Bye.