Podcast Summary

The Shit No One Tells You About Writing

Episode: Plugging in Mental Modules

Date: April 9, 2026

Hosts: Bianca Marais, Carly Watters, Cece Lyra

Episode Overview

This episode of "The Shit No One Tells You About Writing" brings listeners two in-depth "Books with Hooks" critiques, focusing on the importance of specificity, interiority, and balance in query letters and opening pages. The hosts, Bianca, Carly, and Cece, dig deep into what makes compelling character-driven fiction and offer rich craft advice, especially on how to "plug in mental modules" to create characters that feel real and lived-in. Expect blunt, actionable feedback intertwined with humor and camaraderie.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

I. Critique of Contemporary Romance Query: "No Comment"

(00:31 – 18:01)

Query Letter Feedback

• Hook and Specificity:

  • Carly points out confusion over the phrase "leather poisoning" and its irrelevance to the rest of the pitch.

  • The story is lauded for the woman-in-power angle and contemporary scandals but dinged for unclear stakes and too many metaphors.

    “I don't know where this leather poisoning bit comes in...if this is a joke...I didn't really understand if this is a joke.”
    — Carly (02:48)

• Rhetorical Questions:

  • Hosts advise against them, advocating direct statements that move plot forward.

  • Carly rewords an example to demonstrate:

    “But Stephanie struggles to focus on fending off rabid journalists... because she's distracted by two love interests at the club.”
    — Carly (04:21)

• Love Triangle & Subplot:

  • Both Carly and Cece criticize the compulsory-feeling love triangle and unnecessary emphasis on a friend subplot in the query.

    “Why does she have to choose either? Like, she doesn't have to choose the two of them. There are a million other men out there who are not potentially involved in this football club.”
    — Carly (05:20)

  • Cece adds that query letters must focus on the main plot:

    “We're really just saying that it doesn't necessarily belong in the query letter.”
    — Cece (07:48)

• Metaphor Use & Voice:

  • Too many metaphors and “vibey” phrasing detract from plot clarity, according to both agents.

    “I'm getting vibes. I don't know what true love takes a mark means.”
    — Cece (08:20)

• Author Bio:

  • Praised as a model of brevity, relevance, and “literary citizenship.”

    “This is probably like, one of the best author paragraphs I've ever read.”
    — Cece (09:42)

Opening Pages Feedback

• Bantery Dialogue & Voice:

  • Carly finds dialogue “fun and spunky,” and encourages listeners to check out the writing for its lively banter.

• Establishing a Lived-In World:

  • Concern is raised by Carly when character actions don't match backstory. For example, the stress of the phone calls doesn't feel cumulative based on what’s on the page.

    “One of the most important things... is that I... have to believe that these characters have lived a life before they were on this page.”
    — Carly (11:04)

  • Cece reinforces this, suggesting more “interiority baked into the dialogue.”

    “If you zoom in on certain lines of dialogue and add layers... you will actually have a much better chance of making us believe that she's a real person...”
    — Cece (13:53)

• Strategy for Depth:

  • Cece instructs to “plug in mental modules,” meaning layer in mental habits, emotions, and interpretive ticks, so the protagonist reacts as a real person would.

    “Our brains, our human brains are predicting machines. We're always predicting. We're pulling mental modules from the past to fit into the present to predict the future. The future being what happens next in story. And she's not doing this, you know, like, she's just not doing this.”
    — Cece (17:15)

II. Critique of Political Comedy Query: "Peto Paik Can't Help Himself"

(21:17 – 40:16)

Query Letter Feedback

• Lack of Plot:

  • Both Cece and Carly note that despite an intriguing hook, the letter omits specific details about the protagonist’s journey, goals, or escalating stakes.

    “There's no plot in the query letter.”
    — Cece (24:13)

  • Too much space is devoted to author credentials at the expense of plot summary.

    “This is a hook, cook, cook. There is no book.”
    — Carly (27:17)

• Market & Positioning Issues:

  • Overly broad listing of potential audiences signals a lack of clear target market.

• Comps & Query Structure:

  • Advised to stick to “hook, book, cook” structure, ensuring there’s a clear plot section.

Opening Pages Feedback

• Setting and Stakes:

  • Cece observes a “sneaky prologue” (opening mid-crisis, then time jump). She's concerned by lack of protagonist’s emotional reaction/interiority during high-stakes expulsion from office, and later during "Poopgate," a satirical campaign scandal.

    “There's no surprise in his interiority...what about his mind and his emotions? Is he shocked...what are his theories, like, why would she be doing this?”
    — Cece (30:39)

  • Readers fail to get insight into what the character thinks or feels, so the protagonist seems flatter and less compelling.

• Details Without Meaning:

  • Both agents fixate on the unaddressed significance of the protagonist's ancient BlackBerry:

    “Why does he have the world's oldest BlackBerry? Like, why hasn't he made the switch? What does it say about him?”
    — Cece (34:38)

    “Why does he have the world's oldest BlackBerry?...if this is set 10 years ago, 20 years ago, even 10 years ago, blackberries would kind of be out of fashion...”
    — Carly (35:21)

  • Carly adds that legal/political jargon (“Rule 86”) isn’t explained, making non-expert readers feel left out.

• Show vs. Tell Discussion:

  • Bianca diagnoses that the author might be overcorrecting with “show, don’t tell” advice, to the detriment of context and emotional clarity.

  • Cece passionately dismantles the “show, don’t tell” rule as simplistic and unhelpful:

    “Show don't tell is the dumbest rule ever to exist... you need show and you need tell. You need both. Release your inner child. Show and tell.”
    — Cece (38:14)

    “Your job is never to explain. Explaining is never the job. It's contextualizing. The difference is context comes through a protagonist's unique socio emotional filter. There's emotion...and so it's coming from a person's perspective and not from...a fly on the wall...”
    — Cece (39:13)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Leather Poisoning (Query critique):

  • “I don't know where this leather poisoning bit comes in, because, like, this is at the top is where the hook is supposed to be. And then we never hear about leather poisoning again.”
    — Carly (02:48)

• On Overusing Metaphors:

  • “You don't have to race against the clock. True love takes a mark. I understand. Mark is in like you're marking the spot at which you're gonna kick. It's just too many metaphors, which we don't need.”
    — Carly (06:30)

• On Author Bios:

  • “This is probably like, one of the best author paragraphs I've ever read, because it's so to the point...”
    — Cece (09:42)

• On Query Structure:

  • “This is a hook, cook, cook. There is no book.”
    — Carly (27:17)

• “Plugging in Mental Modules”:

  • “When I am interacting with someone, I'm plugging in mental modules to make sense of what is happening in front of me. And so the protagonist has to be doing that too.”
    — Cece (15:02)

• On Show vs. Tell:

  • “Show don't tell is the dumbest rule ever to exist on the face of this planet. When it comes to storytelling, you need show and you need tell. You need both.”
    — Cece (38:14)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Contemporary Romance Query Reading: 00:31 – 02:44

• Carly's In-depth Feedback: 02:48 – 07:12

• Cece's Additional Feedback: 07:16 – 10:18

• Opening Pages Discussion (No Comment): 10:23 – 13:46

• Cece on Interiority / Plugging In Mental Modules: 13:48 – 18:01

• Political Comedy Query Reading: 21:17 – 23:32

• Cece’s Query Feedback: 23:36 – 27:04

• Carly’s Query Feedback: 27:09 – 28:47

• Opening Pages (“Peto Paik Can’t Help Himself”): 28:55 – 35:15

• Deeper Craft Discussion (Show vs. Tell): 37:09 – 40:16

Tone & Style Observations

• As always, the trio’s banter and supportive critique keep things constructive and entertaining.
• Craft advice is “no-BS,” precise, and colored by personal experience and a deep passion for the writing community.
• Bianca, Carly, and Cece all bring writer- and agent-centric perspectives, leading to holistic, practical takeaways.

Takeaways for Writers

• Query letters must hook agents with clear, specific stakes—avoid relying on vibes, subplots, or rhetorical questions.
• Interior monologue (“plugging in mental modules”) brings characters alive and builds authenticity and reader engagement.
• The received wisdom “show, don’t tell” is reductive: strong fiction weaves both showing and telling, filtered through the emotions and perceptions of the protagonist.
• Too much author biography in queries can crowd out the essential plot and market positioning.
• Always consider the reader’s experience—context, clarity, and depth over cleverness for its own sake.

If you’re an emerging writer, this episode is packed with practical advice on tackling your query letter and opening pages with authenticity, depth, and clarity—plus, it delivers a healthy dose of writerly camaraderie.