Sneaky Prologues That Sizzle

Summary

The Shit No One Tells You About Writing

Episode Title: Sneaky Prologues That Sizzle
Date: May 21, 2026
Hosts: Bianca Marais, Carly Watters, CeCe Lyra

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Overview

This episode of The Shit No One Tells You About Writing is centered on three main themes:

• The vital importance of irresistible openings in manuscripts and what makes an engaging prologue
• Detailed critique and discussion of listener query letters and opening pages in the “Books with Hooks” segment
• Lively debate on craft, agenting, comps, satire, and emerging queries in the age of AI

With their characteristic wit and candor, Bianca, Carly, and CeCe provide honest and nuanced feedback, demonstrating both industry expertise and genuine care for writers’ journeys.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Why Your Beginning Matters (CeCe’s Course Teaser)

[00:45, 50:19]

• CeCe shares recent feedback from an acquiring editor about the sharply rising volume of submissions, emphasizing the need for writers to "make your opening pages irresistible."
• Writers hoping agents will “wait till chapter two” are facing a harsh reality: “It’s like wishing chocolate chip cookies had the nutritional value of kale. It’s just not realistic.” (CeCe, 00:55)
• CeCe outlines her multi-day course on beginnings — what makes an irresistible opening, first lines, the distinction between where and how to start, the utility (or not) of prologues, and best practices for handling multiple POVs and timelines.
• Quote: “No agent, no acquiring editor, is going to stick around to see if a submission gets better. Like it or not, it’s your job to make your opening pages irresistible.” (CeCe, 01:15 / 50:32)

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2. Books With Hooks: Query Letter 1 ("Mouthpiece")

[04:13]
A satirical body horror novel featuring a “corporategirly” protagonist transformed by a mysterious skincare product.

Query Highlights & Discussion

• Strong comps and an original premise — body horror meets social commentary.
• CeCe praises the clarity in the protagonist’s world and motivation: “It’s very important...to establish your protagonist’s place in the world at the beginning of the story. Not on the planet, but in their world.” (CeCe, 08:37)
• But she wants more specificity: What exactly is the upside to growing a mouth on your stomach? What is the nature of the transformation? Authors should not withhold vital information for fear of spoilers before the climax.
• Fun aside: Discussion of “girly” as a marketing term — is it empowering or infantilizing? (07:00-08:20)
  • “Bianca will not be tricked.” (CeCe, 07:33)

Carly’s Feedback

• Raises the issue of AI-written query letters, noting “empty impact lines” sound good but mean little.
  • “Meat and substance is the most important thing in a query letter. It can’t be smoke and mirrors. And I think AI does smoke and mirrors.” (CeCe, 14:28)
• Technical note: “Agents don’t acquire. We sign clients. Acquiring is what editors do.” (Carly, 16:18)
  Minor debate ensues about industry terminology.
• Avoid too many comp titles — four is excessive and can muddle your market positioning.
• On comps: “That’s how agents decide to tap out.” (Bianca, 17:17)
  CeCe’s counter: “If the story is great, I will find the comps. Agents who skip for the comps are missing out.” (CeCe, 18:27)

Satire or Not?

• “I am a bit confused on what specifically is satirical about it… If it’s so straight on, what is the satire?” (Carly, 20:09)
• The tone and comp choices may not align.

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3. First Pages Critique: "Mouthpiece"

[21:04]

• Starts with protagonist’s interiority: deep in debt, frustrated with her needy boyfriend, yearning for influencer glory.
• CeCe: The scene tries to show “a normal day before the inciting incident,” but it’s too mundane and on-the-nose.
  • “It’s not starting in the right place… It needs to be a scene where the disruption is very juicy and there’s a shift in power dynamics.” (CeCe, 23:45)
• Some clever writing noted, especially how the protagonist’s filtered self-image matches the book’s themes (filters, beauty, social pressure).
• Carly: Concern over the “influencer” hook as potentially dating the novel rapidly.
  • “I have a hard time with influencer projects… The algorithm changes in ways that are unrecognizable.” (Carly, 26:54)
• Both seek clearer satirical elements and think the “right place to start” the novel may be a few pages later than submitted.

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4. Books With Hooks: Query Letter 2 ("Nothing Close to Perfect")

[31:02]
A multi-POV political family drama involving a senator's affair, family fallout, and the “juicy” lives behind political facades.

Query Highlights & Discussion

• Carly finds the title forgettable and always asks for alternative titles when requesting fulls.

• Good use of recent titles and industry comps, but she suggests TV (Scandal) and recognizable authors (Elin Hilderbrand, Curtis Sittenfeld) might be even more effective.

• “This is a very juicy plot. I would totally request this. It would definitely be on my radar.” (Carly, 35:03)

• Caution about vagueness: "The life Melody had created had been built on an unforgivable lie" is too unspecific; specifics help agents/publishers see exactly what’s unique.

• CeCe: “It gives you that ensemble cast feel that a multiple POV novel needs. Really, really smart.” (CeCe, 36:54)

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First Pages Critique: "Nothing Close to Perfect"

[37:26]

• Features a “sneaky prologue” (unnamed but clearly operating like one):
  • POV: Iris, the ‘other woman’, introduced first.
  • “Iris Milton knew she was the villain of the story.” (First line)
  • Sets up sympathy for her character and frames Billy, the senator, as the active pursuer — a fresh angle that builds empathy for the mistress.
• Next, Melody (the wife) is introduced in a tightly controlled domestic scene prepping for a family photo shoot.
  • “It’s very much the Stepford wife thing… Just going through the motions.” (Carly, 40:06)
• Discussion about accurate contemporary politics — is it better to avoid dating your novel with current events?
  • “I feel like they didn’t date it on purpose… you can’t make this up, and if people had tried to write this for TV ten years ago, people would have gone, it’s totally implausible.” (Bianca, 43:37)
• Praise for strong writing, especially in the prologue.
  • “The first line is a banger… the way the author compresses time, zooming in and zooming out, is genius.” (CeCe, 44:16)
  • The prologue does “so much with such a tight word count.” (CeCe, 45:06)

Room for Improvement

• Melody’s POV feels flat and less engaging compared to Iris’s.
  CeCe advocates for more “messiness, power dynamics, curiosity seeds.”
  • “I want to understand her better; I need to be fascinated by both POVs.” (CeCe, 46:11)
• In dual/multi POV: “You cannot hold back.” Ensure both leads are fully fleshed out and interesting.

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5. Broader Themes and Memorable Moments

On comps:

• Bad comps, or too many, can immediately turn off agents, but some are willing to overlook this for a great story.

On beginning in the “right place”:

• Your opening should capture an agent within a few lines or paragraphs.
  • "We get dozens and dozens every day. … Ambitious writers embrace harsh realities." (CeCe, 01:08)
• "Sometimes it’s just a few pages later. … It doesn’t necessarily mean a rewrite." (Bianca, 26:28)

On prologues:

• “Sneaky prologues” (unlabeled but functioning as prologues) can be effective if they set up the right characters, themes, or stakes.
• “These sneaky prologues are winning me over.” (Carly, 39:12)

Influencers as protagonists:

• Risk of rapid obsolescence — novels about “the algorithm” can date within months or years.

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps & Attribution)

• “It’s like me wanting chocolate chip cookies to have the nutritional value of kale. It’s just not realistic.”
  CeCe, on hoping agents will give a story time to get good [00:55]
• “Meat and substance is the most important thing in a query letter. It can’t be smoke and mirrors.”
  CeCe, on avoiding empty, AI-generated impact lines [14:28]
• “If the story is great, I will find the comps. Agents who skip for the comps are missing out.”
  CeCe, on the agent’s responsibility [18:27]
• “I want to understand her better; I need to be fascinated by both POVs.”
  CeCe, on dual-POV novels [46:11]
• “Sneaky prologues are winning me over.”
  Carly, on modern approaches to prologues [39:12]
• “You cannot hold back. Not in this economy.”
  CeCe, on characterization depth [47:13]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:45 | CeCe’s advice on irresistible openings and her upcoming course
• 04:13 | Query #1 ("Mouthpiece") reading and critique
• 12:38 | Carly’s take on AI in query writing
• 21:04 | Reading and critique of first pages for "Mouthpiece"
• 31:02 | Query #2 ("Nothing Close to Perfect") reading and critique
• 37:26 | Reading and critique of first pages for "Nothing Close to Perfect"
• 44:16 | CeCe’s breakdown of a successful prologue
• 46:50 | Discussion on characterization and POV engagement

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Takeaways & Actionable Advice for Writers

• Your opening pages are crucial. Agents have no time to wait; you must “seduce” from the start.
• Be specific—especially around big plot points and ‘transformations’ in speculative works. Withhold only the climax, not the whole premise.
• Comps are important: Not just any will do, and too many can muddy your pitch. Be strategic, not exhaustive.
• Don’t rely on “empty impact lines” or AI-generated content; authenticity and clarity win out.
• If you use multiple POVs, both (or all) must be equally compelling — do not skimp on depth or messiness for any of your lead characters.
• Influencer-centered stories risk rapid obsolescence; consider universal themes for longevity.
• Prologues can be powerful if done subtly and with purpose—“sneaky prologues” work when they build character and stakes quickly.
• Never be afraid to move your opening further into the story if that’s where the real hook lies.

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This episode is packed with practical insights, laughter, and honest industry advice—perfect for writers serious about leveling up their craft and understanding the business of getting published.

Transcript

[A]

Have you been sitting on the fence about signing up for the Beta Reader matchup? Or have you signed up before but haven't yet found your writing soulmates? The next matchup is the last one for the summer, so don't snooze on it. Get matched up with those writing in a similar genre and or time zone so they can critique your work as you critique theirs. Your manuscript doesn't have to be complete to sign up for this 3,000 word evaluation. This particular matchup will be open to registrations from now until the 1st of June, with the matchup emails going out on the 2nd of June. For more information and to register, go to Biancamarae.com and go to the Beta Reader Matchup page.

[B]

What's up everyone? This is cece. So I recently grabbed lunch with an acquiring editor from HarperCollins who told me that the number of submissions she's been getting has nearly doubled. And I wasn't surprised at all because every agent and editor I know has been talking about how the volume of submission keeps increasing. So, personally, that is a wonderful thing because it's more reading for me, but it also means I have more chances of matching with authors. I consider it a privilege to review queries on books with hooks and of course, in my submissions inbox. But at the same time I talk to writers who tell me that they wish agents would read more than a few pages because, and I quote, my story gets better in chapter two. I have to be honest, this kills me. It's like me wanting chocolate chip cookies to have the nutritional value of kale. It's just not realistic. Like it or not, no agent, no acquiring editor is going to stick around to see if a submission gets better. It's not because we're mean, it's because we get dozens and dozens every day. I know it's harsh, but ambitious writers embrace harsh realities. So here it goes. It's your job to make your opening pages irresistible, to make agents crave it, to make agents want to read more. That's why I'm so excited about my upcoming course. Starting it how to begin your story in the best place and in the best way. I created this course after studying hundreds of books. I've mapped out elements that are present in the beginning of all all successful novels and memoirs. And I've designed checklists, actual checklists that you can use to ensure that your story's beginning is seducing your reader. We'll cover how to write a great first line, different types of beginnings, and how you can choose the best one, the best place to start and the best way to start. Yes, these are totally different things. When it makes sense to add a prologue and when it doesn't. How to frame your inciting incident in an appealing way, how to balance exposition and mystery, how to include context but not weigh it down with too much backstory and what to do if your story has more than one POV or timeline. Most of all, I'm going to show you how to make readers want to turn to Chapter two. Join me for this multi day course designed to help you break through the noise. You'll leave with a clear, actionable breakdown of exactly what goes into a terrific beginning. If you've already signed up, come prepared to take lots of notes. We're talking hundreds of slides with real world examples and specific techniques. Plus a super fun surprise that I can't wait to share. I hope to see you there.

[A]

Hi there and welcome to our show the Shit no one tells you About Writing. I'm best selling author Bianca and I'm joined by Cece Lera of Wendy Sherman Associates and Carly Waters of P.S. literary. Hi everyone, welcome back to another Books with Hook segment. As per usual, we're diving straight in. Cece, will you kick us off please?

[C]

Let's do it. Dear Cece, I am delighted to submit to you my satirical body horror debut mouthpiece, complete at 65,000 words. Based on your interest in acquiring fiction with with morally ambiguous protagonists, Mouthpiece is like the weird girl lit fic love child of R.F. kwang's yellowface and Rachel Yodder's night bitch, but with Sheena Patel's I'm a Fan as an older sister, Blanca Moore, quickly nearing 30 and stuck in a soul sucking job to afford her even more soul crushing debt, wants to be an influencer. When her long term boyfriend dumps her for not paying enough attention to him. I guess the Mayo loneliness epidemic is real. She's determined to enter her 30s as a new woman. Being a certified corporategirly, she creates a detailed plan to achieve all of her goals. Start dating again, get on Ozempic and hold the party of the year, a funeral for her 20s. But when a mysteriously gifted skincare product shows up on her doorstep that promises to transform her life, she jumps at the opportunity. Desperate for beauty validation and digital relevance, she applies it with little suspicion, only to discover that it causes a small insatiable mouth to grow on her stomach. As her online infamy grows, so does her hunger. And the only thing that will solve it and complete her transformation, the flesh of A man. With her lavishly themed birthday party looming, which she swears will go viral, Blanca must confront the monstrous version of herself she's created before it consumes everything she has left. I earned a Bachelor of Arts in English and a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing, which taught me how to turn my weird ideas into delectable stories. I'm a nearly 30 year old Latina woman, navigating spaces entirely made for men while trying to balance the unobtainable beauty standards that society continues to impose. I wrote Mouthpiece as a way to give voice to the perils of aging and a desire to understand where the line between validation and value diverges. My internalized rage, mainly at the patriarchy, lives on these pages. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, Marisol.

[A]

Thank you, Cece. I continue to hear horror as whore. And this is. But. But I'm more inclined to pick up the book if I hear whore than horror. So there we are.

[C]

You know, you know, it's a marketing strategy.

[A]

I dig it. So I want to ask you both because I don't know if this is a generational thing, and because I'm 50, but. And I know it's on Instagram, the girly thing, the hashtag girly, or people getting high girlies. But it drives me insane being called a girly, like, actually makes me not want to buy any product, pick up anything. Is this because I'm old and grumpy? Colleen, Cece, how do you guys feel about it?

[D]

I mean, it's the infantilization of women to make them think that they need the thing, even though they don't need the thing. And it's like, well, if you want to be young, then you're a girly. So it's like, you're just not being tricked. I think this is a good thing. Bianca will not be tricked.

[C]

Bianca will not be tricked.

[A]

Is it that? Or are we taking back the word to empower ourselves? Like, because I call all my. I'll sit down at lunch with all my friends, be like, hello. So I don't know if it's that or if it is the infantilization. So I need younger women to explain it to me.

[C]

I think it depends on the audience. Like, I definitely think that the evil powers that be are trying to infantilize women. But I also believe that, like, anything, language is a fluid thing, living thing, and there are situations where you can do it to empower yourself, but it doesn't work on every audience, and nor should it. Nothing that is interesting is Universally liked like that marketing doesn't mean you just

[D]

blanket market to half the population. Also, like, it is a subset which you will not be fooled.

[A]

Yeah, I will not be fooled, people. So, cece, what did you think of the query? How many words were in there? Let's go.

[C]

So 360 words started off really strong, you know, because we got comps, we have a strong title. The word count is on the shorter side, but at the same time, people have declining attention spans. And I quite like a pacing novel, so I'm okay with that. Yeah, I understand why she would submit this to me. It's really great. I also really like the first plot paragraph because it establishes the protagonist's place in the world. Like, I know what Blanca Moore is up against. It's very important in a query letter to establish your protagonist's place in the world at the beginning of the story. Not the place in the planet Earth world. Their world. Right. So I understand, like, her grievances, her socio emotional framework based on that paragraph alone. So great job. Then we get to, like, the change. And storytelling is about change, right? We get to, like, what plot happens. And I understand the inciting incident very well. She gets gifted this mysterious skin care product, and the product transforms her. What I'm not clear on, and I really want to be, is what this transformation entails. A mouth to grow on her stomach. Does this mean, like, there's a mouth where her belly button's supposed to be, like, like a mouth that is visible? Or does this mean, like, a mouth inside the stomach? And if so, isn't that what the stomach essentially is? Because they call the food.

[D]

I'm picturing, like, when she lifts up her sister, like, if she was in a bikini. We're seeing a mouth is what I'm picturing.

[C]

Yeah, okay. That's what I thought too. She does say on, but, like, I'm not entirely sure. And then, like, what's the upside of that? Because it is kind of weird and gross, which I know is the point here, to have a mouth on your stomach. My question is, like, what's the upside? Because I know she says, desperate for beauty validation and digital relevance, but I'm not getting, like, what she's getting out of this. This makes me think of the substance with Demi Moore. I think everyone's going to think of the substance, right? Like, I think that's the natural association. And I have issues with that movie because of the major plot hole that no one talks about. I'm the only one who cares in on the trailer for that movie trailer, the. The promise is clear. Like, she gets to spend one week as a younger woman. What is the trade off here? Like, I get that her online infamy grows, but it's infamy. And then there's a reference to the only thing that will. Will complete her transformation is the flesh of a man. Like, complete her transformation into what? Like, is it to get rid of the visible mouth? Is it to become, I guess, more attractive? But I just want a lot of specificity with the transformation, because this is a story that hinges on me understanding why someone would pay a cost, a very specific cost to achieve a very specific gain. And I suspect that the storyteller is holding back on telling us the specifics because she doesn't want spoilers. And I empathize, but at the same time, everything before the climax is fair game. And I would just urge you to be more specific, because remember, agents review queries and batches. We're looking at 50 queries at the same time or more. And we get a lot of stories where it's like, oh, there's this transformation that's going to take place, but the cost is really high. What about your story makes it unique and special? And it's your job to highlight that in the query letter. I will say that the idea of a funeral. Funeral for your twenties is very cool. I wish I had known about that because I totally would have thrown one. That sounds awesome. It's dark and weird, and I like that. I also really like the author bio. She has internalized rage, and so do I. Of all the seven sins, wrath for sure. My number one, even more than gluttony. And I eat a lot. So yeah, I feel you, author. I also have rage. And I appreciate you mentioning that in the query letter.

[A]

Thank you, Cece. I too love weird parties. A friend of mine, when she called off her engagement in her 20s, had a what the fuck was I thinking? Party.

[D]

Ah, love.

[A]

This was amazing. The only problem was There were like 15 women there, and I chose that night to introduce Stephen to all of these really angry women. But it was a good test because

[D]

he passed it if he was a party. But, you know, everybody's welcome.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Man hating, man bashing. And he walked out of their bruised, but he was fine. So that's. So that's good. Okay, Carly, handing it across to you.

[D]

Okay, here we go. A couple things. So I think I actually have something kind of controversial to say, and we don't actually usually have a lot of overlap between shooting the shit and this podcast, our Books with Hooks podcast. But I want to kind of bridge the gap a little bit here. So I have. And feel free to disagree with me, but I posit a theory that query letters are going to get better and better and better over time because of the thing we talk about on shooting the shit all the time, which is AI. Do you guys think that we are going to make ourselves obsolete? Like, we've been giving so much advice about query letters over the years. So much information is out there about how to write a great query letter. The query letters we have today are quite strong. Obviously, we always have notes. But, like, do you guys think we have, like, outsmarted ourselves into obsolescence? Do you guys. Do you guys think we're still going to have a podcaster job? What do you. What do you think our role is going to be in query letters?

[C]

I think if all query letters are great, first and foremost, I'll be very happy. Yeah, it'll mean we will be out of a job. But can you imagine going through the slush file and having all the query letters to be like, absolutely fantastic? I want that life. So, yay, if that happens. Do I think it's going to happen? No, we don't. Because again, I am not someone with a lot of AI proficiency, so perhaps this is coming from a place of ignorance, but I personally feel that what AI does is it regurgitates generic language in a way that it gives out what I call empty impact lines.

[D]

A lot. Yes, yes. Like, a lot dramatic. And then you're like, what does this even mean? Yes. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[C]

Like, you can't unpack it.

[B]

There's no meat.

[D]

That's vague.

[C]

Exactly. And for two seconds, if you're reading it, you go, oh, impactful. But then you go, actually, not really. And I mean, a, agents have a really good BS barometer.

[D]

Yeah, we.

[C]

We can spot empty impact lines better than the average person. But also, B, like, when you're reading 50 query letters, the impact lines just lose there. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, meat and substance is the most important thing in a query letter. It can't be smoke and mirrors. And I think AI does smoke and mirrors. But, hey, I could be wrong.

[A]

Meat is important in your query letter because of the stomach mouth thingy.

[D]

That meat needs to be fed. We need to be fed. Great query letters. So, okay, so I think. I'm not advocating. I want to be very clear. I am not advocating for people to be writing their query letters with AI. I would be Hard pressed to know for sure whether there are people that listening to this that are not doing that, you know, either way. So. So if anybody is ever going to use AI to do this, know that the empty impact statements are what is going to sewer you. Because you could be thinking, oh, I asked AI to write me a query letter like, you know, this bestselling novel, but what it's going to do is regurgitate things, be unclear and sound great, and not actually get to the heart of your project. So do not put your material into AI. All of you that are rolling your eyes at me while you're driving your car, eyes on the road, because we need you to write the best query letter that you can, and we will still be here to help you guys with your query letters, because that is our job. Okay, back to this query letter at hand. In the second line, you say based on your interest in acquiring fiction. Just a reminder that agents don't acquire. Like, we sign clients, and acquiring is a very specific word. Acquiring is what editors do when they buy the book for the publisher. So just FYI, acquiring is a really tricky word here. So don't use acquiring.

[C]

Okay, Okay, I just need to interrupt. A lot of agents put it put on their wish list. I am looking to acquire. Blah, blah, blah. Like, she's probably just copying what, like a billion agents do.

[D]

Okay, yeah, just say.

[C]

Just.

[D]

Okay, listen, we're disagreeing. We're disagreeing on this. You're muted.

[C]

You didn't even get the cool thing.

[A]

Fight, fight, fight, fight.

[C]

No, but. But see, here's the thing. When I first heard it, when I started agenting, I was like, agents don't acquire. And then I noticed everyone doing it, and I'm like, you know what? Acquire for the list. Like, I. I just got over it because everyone does it. And I'm just saying that the author is probably, like, imitating or emulating what she sees.

[D]

Okay? Another reason why this podcast will never die is because we have so many opinions and we do not speak for everybody. I will just flag that as a yellow flag. Let's go with a yellow flag there for the term acquiring fiction. All right. There are way too many comps. 4 comps is a lot of comps. That's a lot of comps. So I think we need to kind of narrow that down a little bit. And I think the substance, like Cece talked about isn't obvious omission here.

[A]

Carly, can I just jump in without making you lose your train of thought? Something that I'm finding fascinating now that we've started the meet your dream agent segment in our Tuesday substack where we interview different agents so that our listeners can get to know them better, is how many of them say that when they tap out of a query letter is because of bad comps, comps that don't fit with the genre, et cetera. And I was honestly thinking it would be something else, like the plot paragraph. And so many of them are saying, these comps don't make any sense. I'm tapping out. So it shows you how important the comps are. All right.

[D]

I feel like that's the thing that we have. I mean, there's a lot of things we've, like, tried to, like, hammer home with our audience over the years. I hope our long term listeners know how strongly we feel about comps for all of those reasons. It's so important in your understanding of your place within the larger marketplace where you want to go, what your goals are, how you see things. Cece, why are you rolling your eyes at me?

[C]

That's not at you. I'm thinking of something really bad I want to say, but I'm like, don't

[D]

say, okay, when we're off recording, when we're done recording, we can gossip.

[C]

No, I'm saying, you know what I think whenever an agent says that, Whenever an agent says, oh, I tap out because of the comps, I go do it so I can take the project for me because I have signed people with terrible comps. So what story was great. I will find the damn comps. Like, I will do it again. Is it smarter for the author to find it? Yes, but I'm sorry, agents who are doing this, you're missing out.

[A]

You're missing out.

[C]

You are. I. I get it. Time is limited. I'm. I'm busy, too. But, you know, finding comps is really hard. And as long as the story is great, I will find them. I know how to research.

[D]

Yeah. I think this is also a classic case of different agents at different point in their careers are going to pay attention to different things.

[C]

Very true.

[D]

And when you are building your list, you're more likely to overlook things like that because you have the brain power and the time and the energy to be like, you know, I can sort through this to figure it out. And the more established an agent is, the more likely they are to skim, especially through those parts of it. So all good points. Okay, Can I please make it to the second paragraph, please?

[A]

Oh, Carly's getting pissy. Okay, okay. Go, Carly.

[D]

Okay, one thing we haven't talked about with this submission is this idea of satire? Because, like, I am a bit confused on what specifically is satirical about it. It's very obvious, I think, what this metaphor is for female ambition, for female rage, for the ways that our bodies are policed, the way that our bodies are put on show. Like, it is very clear to me what we're kind of working with. So I'm. I don't know what the satire is. I mean, maybe I'm being a bit dense here, but, like, what is satirical about this? If it's so, like, straight on that you like this?

[C]

This.

[D]

I don't know, this allegory. Like, I don't know what to call it. Like, the body horror part right of the mouth on the stomach. So what about it is satire? Is it literary? The cops are very literary. The tone is very playful, influencer language that feels more commercial. I'm not really sure that it is satire, to be perfectly honest with you. So I think I need to be convinced that this is satire. So I feel very strongly like that's the piece of this that's missing for me. I think that the author bio is great. And thank you for letting me make it to the end of the query letter.

[A]

Say something else, Carly, so I can interrupt you. Okay. Oh, she just flashed us the big guns. If you're not watching, if you're not watching on YouTube, this is the moment you need to go and watch what she did. Okay, Cece, I'm handing it across to you now. Tell us what's in the pages.

[C]

We drank silly tea today. All of us. We all got a special delivery. Okay, so we have chapter one, and then we have a stamp. 30 days. We begin with interiority. The protagonist is in her 30s with nearly $100,000 in debt, and she's thinking about how her boyfriend does everything around the house and the domestic stuff, and that means they're a modern couple. That he likes doing it, she doesn't. And that he's very needy. Like, he's very frustrating and needy. And her boyfriend's like, hey, can we talk? And she's like, not now. And he's like, can we talk about us? And she's like, oh, my gosh, this is so annoying. She keeps trying to post and edit a video so she can post and have views, but we know that, you know, she's not doing a really good job with her views. And her boyfriend keeps talking, and she's not paying attention to him. And then she does start paying attention to him, and he Says, yeah, well, I think we need to, you know, save. Save money. We've been spending too much money. It's, you know, I do it, you do it. Let's talk about it. And she's thinking to herself, oh, my God, not this again. Like, they've had this conversation again a million times. And she's like, look, I don't want to do that. I don't want to live a small life. And, yeah, maybe one day we'll start a family. Kids are good, content. But, you know, I. I really want a big, thriving, fun life. So, yeah, that's essentially what happens.

[A]

Okay, so take us through your thoughts on that.

[C]

Okay, I'll start with the big picture thought. I don't think it's starting in the right place. I think that this author is falling prey to a very common mistake, which is my job is to give a before snapshot, you know, before the inciting incident, what does my protagonist's life look like? And so she picked a typical day. I understand the impulse, and it is true that we need to know what your protagonist's life looks like before the big change. This is true. But that doesn't mean that any scene before the change fits the bill and delivers the promise that we need. And in this case, it, in my opinion, doesn't, because it's a little too mundane, a little too on the nose, literally the first two paragraphs. And you guys know I'm a fan of interiority, but it's essentially her going through her situation, you know, like, she's in debt. She has nothing to show for her life. Jordan is her stable boyfriend. She makes a lot more money than he does. She loves to say that whenever they fight, he does more things around the house. They're a modern couple. She needs time to post on TikTok. She aims to post three times a day, even though her views aren't getting, like, this is all, like, two paragraphs.

[D]

But, CeCe, do you actually think this is interiority? Like, you just called this interiority? I actually don't think this is very interior.

[C]

So my definition of interiority, and this is where it depends on the jargon you use, is access to your protagonist psyche as they process information in an interesting way. So anything that's not neutral, like, you walk into a room and you go, there is a green couch. That's not interiority. A CCTV camera could capture that. But if you say it's an ugly green couch, that's an opinion, therefore it's interiority. So I agree with you that a Lot of people wouldn't consider this. It's like a CC thing. It's exposition. But interiority can be exposition. Interiority can also not be. Does that answer your question?

[D]

Yeah, I'm just like, I don't know if you've answered my question. Do you think this is doing the job of what you consider interiority, the interesting part? No.

[C]

It is access to her psyche as she processes information, but it's not doing the interesting part. So, you know. No, in that sense, but yes, in the sense of what she's trying to do. Because I believe that the storyteller thinks this is interesting. Right. So I think I'm addressing her intent and her effort.

[A]

She.

[C]

And again, I know that if you're writing a story where the whole plot hinges on a woman being unhappy in her life, being sucked in by the Internet world of social media and attention and views and likes and wanting to be an influencer because that's her only chance of a better life, and then she goes really far to get that. I understand that it might be tempting to be like, I'm going to start with the paragraph about how her life needs to improve, but it's too on the nose for my taste. There are people who like this a little bit more on the nose fiction. It is not for me. Like the. As soon as I read the first two paragraphs, I was like, okay, the writing isn't for me. It's one of the reasons why all we really need to see is a few pages to know whether we might be or might not be a good fit for a client. It's all the writing, right? So I did think that there were some really clever things. Like, for example, instead of having her think about what she looks like, you know, the color of her hair, her eyes, she is looking at herself through the video that she just filmed. But she uses filters and she talks about how the filters make her look so much better, that instead of her mousy hair, her hair looks xyz. And that is a very clever way to not only weave in the story's themes in a way that's more subtle, but also to give me description of the protagonist. So I actually think the author here has a lot of potential. I don't think it's a type of story that's for me, again, it's just the kind of writing that it is. It isn't Assisi, but that's like a personal thing. And I think that it's not starting in the right place. So I would encourage you to find A more interesting scene. Like, it needs to be a scene where the disruption is very juicy and there's a shift in power dynamics, a shift in story, forward expectations, and I'm not seeing that here.

[A]

Thank you, cece. Sometimes it's just a few pages later. So for authors, a lot of the time, you know, I know I start somewhere that I think is the beginning, and it's not. It's generally further along or way before. But yeah, read the rest of your pages and see if there is a scene that'll tick all those boxes. For cece, it doesn't necessarily mean a rewrite. Okay, Carly, moving on to you.

[D]

All right. Longtime listeners of this show know my feelings around influencer characters. This is an example of something that I feel is just going to date itself. And that's where I really struggle as an agent, because I have to think, okay, of course, when I would sign a project, I would hope to sell it quickly. There's times where I don't sell a book quickly. I just made a real, not too long ago talking about how I signed a book in 2017, and it's not. It didn't come out until 2026. Like, there's just. There are projects that just take a lot of time to sell. And that is one of the reasons why I can't take on many, if any, influencer projects. Because, yes, I do believe that this version of the Internet, where there is social media, is going to be around for a very long time. It changes constantly. Like, I think we can argue quarterly that the algorithm changes in ways that is unrecognizable. And we spend so many words in these opening pages talking about, I have to post within this window because this is when my. My audience is online. Can we really say in two years that the algorithm is going to be used in that way? I don't think that we can. And this is. Could just be an example of this book is not starting in the right place, and I'm picking on something specific to this character. And, you know, obviously you can fault me for that, but that's my job. You know, that's the way that I'm going to read this. This is my entry point into this story. And I definitely, definitely struggle with that. The other thing I struggle with is if she is trying to take her job really seriously, then why Is this an 11th hour project? When her partner is trying to talk to her, she's like, I have to do this before my audience is no longer online. If you were a real kind of committed Influence, you'd be like, I've planned my content calendar for the next three weeks. So, like, I know what I'm doing at any given point. So why would we be doing an 11th hour creative project? I don't understand that. And I'm still not sure where the satire is. I do not see it on the page. And it could be that again, it's coming. It's something like, again, it's horror. So maybe we're like building to the satire as we build to the horror. All of that could be true. In my mind. That is something that sets this apart and could really set this project apart. And so if that is really specific to your project, as promised in the query letter, I would really try to find a way to layer in the satire much earlier.

[A]

Thank you, Carly. I just want to give a shout out to one of my favorite influencer books, and it's a Canadian author, Lian Zhang, who wrote Julie Chan is Dead. So for this author to maybe check it out, or anybody who's writing about influencers, that was a really great book. Okay, before we move on to Carly's query, first note from our sponsors.

[D]

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[A]

okay Carly, handing it across to you.

[D]

Dear Carly, based on your interest in stories about motherhood, family and ambition, I'm thrilled to share with you Nothing close to perfect a 95,000word multi POV contemporary fiction about what happens when a long running affair unravels the finely orchestrated lives of an ascending political family. It's the escalating impact of family secrets and lies as Andrea Dunlop's Women Are the Fiercest Creature meets the challenges of midlife marriage and motherhood and Claire Lombardo's Same as It Ever Was. Melody Sullivan has spent the past 25 years trying to build something close to a perfect life. She's married to Billy, her college sweetheart and a U.S. senator, planning the wedding of the year for her daughter and trying to keep her son focused on college and out of trouble. But when a news story meant to soft launch Billy's presidential campaign instead reveals his long term affair with Iris, a struggling diner waitress, the perfect family facade is shattered beyond repair. As Melody and her adult children flee to the family beach house on an exclusive island, Iris deals with the fallout. Trapped with Billy's newborn daughter and her D.C. apartment. In the months that follow, as Melody considers a future without the man she's depended on and develops complicated feelings for the handyman working next door. Her daughter struggles with giving up her own ambitions for her fiance's while her son drops out of his elite college to work at a bar. As Billy tries to make amends to save his floundering campaign and his family while also continuing his relationship with Iris, a second news story breaks. The life Melody has created has been built on an unforgivable lie. The consequences will both be devastating and ultimately freeing as Melody, her children and Iris must decide what and who they're willing to give up for something better than a perfect life. I work in higher education in North Carolina, where the story is set and where Senator John Edwards torpedoed his political career and his family over an affair. While not a retelling, Nothing Close to Perfect is inspired by those events, plus the many other stories of powerful men behaving poorly, and would be my debut novel. I'VE enclosed the first five pages below and look forward to your feedback. Sincerely, Alison McWilliams.

[A]

Awesome, Kali. Okay, how many words was that and what was your take on it?

[D]

There was a postscript sharing their love for the pod and also letting me know that it was 381 words. All right, so here we go. I don't love this title. I think it's a little bit forgettable. I would love to see what your other options are. When I request full manuscripts as part of my querying process, I always ask for a list of alternate titles because it makes me so curious about other ways that authors see their own work, other title ideas that they have, and I usually end up almost always picking one off the list that wasn't their lead title. So, yeah, I find this a little bit forgettable. So I would, I would look at this one again. Okay, back now to the comps here. So as much as I love that you're picking women are the fiercest creatures and I don't think that it's necessarily the wrong comp here. Comps that I think are a bit more fine tuned, let's just say, would be Scandal. Why? Why wouldn't we come to Scandal? I mean, I mean it's not the most up to date show, but everybody loves Scandal and so I would say Scandal is an option. Another one. I was trying to think. I've read so many Ellen Hildebrand books and I was trying to figure out before we became online, like what was the Ellen Hildebrand book about? A torpedoed political career. I'm Pretty sure it's 28 summers. Fact check me on that because again, I did a really quick Google before we came online, but the elden Hildebrand book, 28 Summers. Because I'm pretty sure that. Cece, did you read that one? 28 summers? Do you know which one I'm talking about?

[C]

I do, yeah. I don't remember if it's that one though, because the thing about Ellen's books is that I remember the story, but I never remember the title. I just go, Ellen's book. Yeah, it's what happens with name linkage. It's like Emily Henry, like I don't remember which one it was that I read.

[D]

Yeah, I know. Especially when they write a book a year.

[C]

One where we see like the same time next year.

[D]

Yes, it's the same time next year with the. And then he rises his political campaign and she stays on the island. Yes, yes. Sorry, I'm ruining this part of it. Book. It's A great book.

[C]

No, no, this doesn't ruin anything.

[D]

It's. Yeah, it's.

[C]

I'm pretty sure it's that one.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I would do scandal meets 28 summers if it was me as an example. Not saying you have to do that. You can again pick another book. I haven't read Claire Lombardo's latest, so I can't speak to that one. And that could be a great comp. Bianca, you read Claire Lombardo's Sacrilege.

[A]

Everyone should read Claire Lombardo.

[D]

Well, the first I read, even Reese

[A]

Witherspoon chose her first book, I think, like three years after it came out. So. Yeah.

[C]

Second.

[D]

This is the second one, right? Same as. As it ever was.

[A]

Same as it ever was. Yeah. Second one.

[D]

Okay. So I haven't read the second book. All this to say I think the comps could use a teensy bit of work, but obviously thank you for choosing a great client book. Women of the Fiercest Creatures is a great book about men being taken down, so yay for that. Okay. This is a very juicy plot. Like, I love this. I'm very. I'm very interested in this book and I would. You know, we'll get to the pages later. I totally would request this. I would. It would definitely be something that would be on my radar to get to my Kindle as fast as I could and. And read it. The thing that I think where it breaks down, you know, if there's some room for improvement here was the life Melody had created had been built on an unforgivable lie that's too vague. This could be anything from her upbringing isn't as blue but as they thought to she had an affair. One of the children isn't Billy's. Like our minds just going in so many places. I think we have to nail this down. Especially because you are so good at telling us all the juicy stuff earlier on. Like. Like the daughter struggling to give up her ambitions for a fiance, the son dropping out of college. So the fact that you drop all of that information, you don't tell us what Melody's big lie is. I'm a little bit confused by that. Obviously it probably something to do with the climax and you're trying to save us. I wonder. This is an example. I always say this, but I love when authors are on the show because I get to ask them what the thing is because I do want to know what this thing is. But other than that, it's really strong. I would totally request the page.

[A]

Awesome, Carly. So that's a good Sign. It's doing its job. Cece, would you request the pages? What are your thoughts?

[C]

I would. I really liked the query letter. It was really strong. The author did an amazing job by putting the hook really up top. You know what happens when a long running affair unravels the finely orchestrated lives of an ascending political family. It gives you that ensemble cast feel that a multi POV novel needs. It is really, really smart. Yeah. It's an excellent query letter. Excellent. Wonderful.

[A]

Okay, well, we don't have more to say on that, so we're going to move on to the pages. Carly, what's in them?

[D]

All right, so we have a prologue that is not a prologue, but we know it's a prologue. We start with Iris, who is the other woman. It starts in her point of view where there's a line that says, iris Milton knew she was the villain of the story. And it just explains how her and the male character, Billy, met. Yet he came into the diner that she served him. It's not super clear this probably could be argued, but it sounds like he paid for an apartment for her, a car, and so it seems like they. They meet. He continues to hang out with her. We know from the query letter there's a baby on the way, but it sounds like he bought her an apartment. And that's just a one page, kind of, let's call it a first chapter or prologue.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Then we move to Melody, who is the wife. And we have a timestamp on that, which is May. And we are getting ready for them to do a photo shoot for the Washington Post to kind of, you know, set their family up for the next stage in the husband's political career. Everybody is there, they're not really getting along. A little bit of arguing, but mostly like, nobody wants to be there, especially the son, who. Who we know wants to drop out of college. And there's just kind of the setting up of the family, you know, who is who, setting up the characters. They get the picture done and then they kind of move on. Then the husband goes into his office with one of their young assistants. The wife then looks at her text messages and she has messages from the same unknown number, the same messages she deleted three times. We need to talk. I know what Billi did. And she's kind of like, we have security issues all the time, but, like, this message keeps getting through. And then she. She starts to think about the message.

[A]

Interesting. Okay, so what was your take on that?

[D]

All right, so I. I really like the sneaky prologue. I think this is the second time I've said that recently. These sneaky prologues are winning me over. I like it because I like the balance. It's like Iris Milton knew she was a villain of the story. She kind of explains a little bit, but it's not in that info dumpy kind of way. It's, you know, he wore an expensive suit. Even she could tell that his white shirt was still crisp despite the late hour. He didn't belong there in mostly empty diner, the wrong part of town. He belonged in Georgetown dupont, the White House. What great line there, right? Like I love a long sentence. Then like a punchy, like staccato, like Georgetown, Georgetown, dupont, the White House. I love that. That gets me every time. So I thought that was really well done. It was just very self aware and I just really enjoyed that. It really set me up for. And I think the thing that this does really well is the sympathy for the other woman that does this really, really well.

[A]

Right.

[D]

Right away we're introduced to her first, the other woman first, clearly of lesser means. He comes in, you know, she maybe doesn't ask for whatever he inserts himself upon her and her workplace, comes to visit her at work, right? Like, so we understand he's pursuing her. So the sympathy for the other is incredible. Then we go to Melody, the wife, and this is the part where it's just completely robotic. It's the very much the like Stepford wife thing where she's just going through the motions of like, you know, the banisters are all wiped down and this, the cleaners came and everything's perfect and the frames or the family pictures are all lined up. You know, just that very classic Stepfordie things, very robotic. We are not on her side, right? Because it like the prologue with the kind of loose, you know, these two just stumbled into each other's lives. Makes you think, okay, well maybe those two are meant to be. Then you meet the wife where it's like, it's all buttoned up. She's clearly the one keeping the wheels on the bus in this family, as countless millions of women do across the globe to just keep a family economy running in terms of like getting everybody where they need to go. The labor that she puts in for creating this public image for the family. But we're not on her side, we're not very sympathetic to her forcing her children and her family into this political picture, which again is for the husband. It makes it really seem like, you know, she is so second fiddle to him. Right? Where we know she's clearly trying to do everything behind the scenes to make this ascension possible. So it's all really smart. It's very smart. You know, obviously I'm pointing out things that I could see, but it's done very well. And the only thing that I struggled with a little bit is we don't have a super clear timestamp on all of this. We're supposed to know it's contemporary, per the query letter. It was called contemporary fiction. I'm just. I wonder a little bit about the positionality of this within the larger framework of politics. And, you know, there's just so much going on in the world. And obviously this is fiction, but this is imagined to be, you know, in North Carolina. Like, we know where this is meant to be in the United States. And yet, you know, would they mention things like Clinton? Would they mention things like, you know, this. This power dynamic within the political system? I'm just wondering how self aware the novel's gonna be a little bit, because I found the piece where there's a paragraph that says once the house cleared out, she felt the emptiness acutely. Even though Mark was upstairs and Billy was in an office. Mark is the son there, but not there. The story of their marriage recently, she knew the part she was expected to play, the part she signed up for all those years ago when Billy's own mother sat her down and told her exactly what she was going to do. Doting mother, dutiful wife, devoted volunteer. But now her kids were grown and out of the house. Her husband spent more time in D.C. than he did there at home. When he was there, he spent most of his time holed up in his office. They slept in the same bed, but they barely touched. That doesn't feel unique, unfortunately. It's very sad. It also makes me think about American Wife. Right? That was what the Curtis Sittenfeld novel, American Wife. You know which one I'm talking about? CC's nodding. This makes me think about American Wife, which. That novel probably came out 20 years ago, 15 to 20 years ago. It is not a new novel by any means. So it's not necessarily that it felt super dated to me, but I was just wondering, how commercial is this going to be in the sense of how much is. Is there going to be commentary on our contemporary political system? The answer could be nothing, but I'm just curious.

[A]

I feel like they didn't date it on purpose because, let's be honest, from day to day, current political cold. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Half the time you can't make this up. And if people had tried to Write this for TV 10 years ago or 15 years ago.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

People would have gone. It's totally implausible. So I think, yeah, this person's staying away from this on purpose because of. Because of that. I don't know.

[D]

Yeah. And that makes me think of scandal, like, right. This, like, slightly romanticized version of what politics was in the Obama era. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Anyway, we don't have to go down that deep, deep rabbit hole. But those were some thoughts I have.

[A]

I miss that brand suit. Okay, Cece, go.

[C]

I loved the sneaky prologue. I agree. It's a sneaky prologue. The first line is a banger. Like, it's so good. And the way the author moves between show and tell is brilliant. The way the author compresses time, zooming in and zooming out is. Is genius. Like, I need all our substack supporters. If you subscribe to our substack and you do not look at this query letter and study this prologue meticulously, you are wasting your money. Just saying it is absolutely genius. She does so much with such a tight word count. What is the word count, by the way? Wait, hold on. I'm gonna look this up. 322 words just for the prologue. I mean, that's. That's so short, right? 322 words.

[D]

And she.

[C]

She goes through their love story and the. The bomb that dropped in their lives. Of course, she doesn't specify what the bomb is, but we know, you know, and it has opinion. It has a point of view. It has perspective. It is incredibly well written. Like all the applause. Chapter one's not working. The melody chapter's not working. Here's the deal. There's two possibilities for this possibility. Number one, Cece problem. Cici needs messy. Cece needs more depth. Cici needs psychological acuity. Cece talks about herself in the third person. Fine. If that's it, ignore me. But if your vision for this is something that's a bit more upmarket, something with more teeth, a story that will, you know, have potential for book clubs and start conversations, and I think the melody chapter. I wonder. This is something that happens in dual POV novels. The author wants us to sympathize with one character more. Like one character more. Imprint on one character more so she holds back on the other one, you know, thinking, yay. That doesn't work. I need to be fascinated by both POVs. Yes. I will probably root for one more than the other. This is normal. But I need to be Fascinated by both. So I think you're holding back on the Melody chapter. There are so many instances where there's opportunity for depth, opportunity for messiness, opportunity for curiosity seeds. There are no curiosity seeds. Like the text message. It's not working. I also don't like the fact that she decides, for reasons she cannot explain, to keep the message this time. Like, it feels forced. There's the scene where the husband. The scene. But there's a couple lines. I'm going to read it. The girl glanced up at Billy with a smile and a blush. Mel's lips tightened into a flat line. She was no longer surprised, but it still hurt. If you go deeper in that moment, you could potentially uncover messiness and power dynamics. Like, I. I want to understand her better and I want to be fascinated by her, and I'm not. So if I had gotten this as a submission, I probably still would have requested the full. To see if all the Iris chapters are really, really strong and if the Melody chapters get better, because maybe there would be a vision that I could talk to the author about. But if all of the book were Melody, I'd be not interested at all. Which is a shame, because clearly you have the writing chops to do it. So I think the lesson here for anyone, like, listening is you cannot hold back. Like, holding back is just not something you can do. Like, not. Not in this economy, you know, not in this.

[D]

That's what I was trying to get at with that idea of, like, what is. What are we trying to say with this book? Because I agree with you. Like, it has such upmarket book club potential, and if we don't maximize that with Melody, that. Yeah, that's the problem.

[C]

Yeah. And it has to be for the both points of view. Unless it's a single POV story. Right. Unless it's just Iris's, but then that won't work in terms of us seeing the inside of the family. It's a really old novel, but Emily Giffen has a novel called Heart of the Matter, I Believe in which you do get three points of the wife, the husband, and the other woman. And it's so messy. And you feel sympathy for everyone. Not so much the man, but probably most people still. Did I read this, and yes, I feel for Iris, but it's not that I don't feel. It's not that I am against Melody or not rooting for mentally. I'm not interested in Melody. Like, I. I want to love both these women and be really mad at this guy. That's what I want. And that's what women all across the world are going to want when they read this book, right? Let's blame the man. But right now you're just holding back on Melody and please don't. That's my request.

[D]

Wonderful.

[A]

Thank you so much, Carly and CeCe for your excellent insights as ever. We'll be back in two weeks with another Books With Hooks. If you want to submit, go to the Shit About Writing. Go to the Books With Hooks page and you can submit your work there. Have a good week. Goodbye everyone. Cece Lira is a literary agent at Wendy Sherman Associates. If you'd like to query CC, please refer to the submission [e-mail]. carly Waters is a literary agent at P.S. literary Agency, but her work on this podcast is not affiliated with the agency and the views expressed by Carly on this podcast are solely that of her as a podcast co host and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, policies or position of PS Literary Agency. Have you been sitting on the fence about signing up for the Beta Reader Matchup? Or have you signed up before but haven't yet found your writing soulmates? The next matchup is the last one for the summer, so don't snooze on it. Get matched up with those writing in a similar genre and or time zone so they can critique your work as you critique theirs. Your manuscript doesn't have to be complete to sign up for this 3,000 word evaluation. This particular matchup will be open to registrations from now until the 1st of June, with the matchup emails going out on the 2nd of June. For more information and to register, go to Biancamarae.com and go to the Beta Reader Matchup page.

[B]

What's up everyone? This is cece. So I recently grabbed lunch with an acquiring editor from HarperCollins who told me that the number of submissions she's been getting has nearly doubled and I wasn't surprised at all because every agent and editor I know has been taken talking about how the volume of submission keeps increasing. So personally, that is a wonderful thing because it's more reading for me, but it also means I have more chances of matching with authors. I consider it a privilege to review queries on books with hooks and of course in my submissions inbox. But at the same time I talk to writers who tell me that they wish agents would read more than a few pages because, and I I quote my story gets better in chapter two. I have to be honest, this kills me. It's like me wanting chocolate chip cookies to have the nutritional value of kale. It's just not realistic. Like it or not, no agent, no acquiring editor, is going to stick around to see if a submission gets better. It's not because we're mean. It's because we get dozens and dozens every day. I know it's harsh, but ambitious writers embrace harsh realities. So here it goes. It's your job to make your opening pages irresistible. To make agents crave it. To make agents want to read more. That's why I'm so excited about my upcoming course. Starting it how to begin your story in the best place and in the best way. I created this course after studying hundreds of books. I've mapped out elements that are present in the beginning of all successful novels and memoirs. And I've designed checklists, actual checklists that you can use to ensure that your story's beginning is seducing your reader. We'll cover how to write a great first line, different types of beginnings, and how you can choose the best one, the best places to start, and the best way to start. Yes, these are totally different things when it makes sense to add a prologue and when it doesn't. How to frame your inciting incident in an appealing way, how to balance exposition and mystery, how to include context but not weigh it down with too much backstory and what to do if your story has more than one POV or timeline. Most of all, I'm going to show you how to make readers want to turn to Chapter two. Join me for this multi day course designed to help you break through the noise. You'll leave with a clear, actionable breakdown of exactly what goes into a terrific beginning. If you've already signed up, come prepared to take lots of notes. We're talking hundreds of slides with real world examples and specific techniques, plus a super fun surprise that I can't wait to share. I hope to see you there.