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Willpower 101: How to Strengthen This Critical Success Muscle (Greatest Hits)
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Here's an oldie but a goodie from the archives from the Side Hustle show greatest Hits collection.
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This is willpower 101 how to strengthen.
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This critical success muscle what's up?
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What's up?
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Nick Loper here. Welcome to the Side Hustle show. Because where there's a will, there's a way. Study after study has found that willpower, the ability to control yourself, predicts academic and professional success better than IQ or charisma or having rich parents. And of course, it's not the only ingredient in our success recipe, but it's a critical one. It would be like trying to make guacamole without an avocado. And honestly, it's something that I struggle with. I think we all do at times. But the good news is that our willpower, our self discipline, is something we can improve. It's not fixed or static. In this episode, we're going to explore several concrete ways you can add more willpower to your days. Or, since more isn't always the answer, how to sprinkle it in just the right spot so it has the greatest impact. These are the little tweaks and hacks you can apply today to start making meaningful progress. In a lot of ways, this episode is inspired by my brother, who has been strengthening his willpower muscle for several.
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Years, and it's made a night and day difference in his demeanor, in his.
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Interactions with others, and I think in.
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His overall health and happiness.
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So I encourage you to check out an article he put together on the topic on his blog. It's becomingbetter.org willpower. I think you'll like it and we'll reference several of his points in this episode. Again, becomingbetter.org willpower and most importantly, this stuff works. I've seen it firsthand. Now, to help me dive into the willpower topic, topic is another gentleman I consider quite disciplined, and that's derek depker from excuseproof.com he's the author of Healthy Habit Revolution, a book I also encourage you to check out. Derek is a consultant, a speaker, a trainer, and he's really focused on helping people cultivate positive changes in their mind.
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In their body, and in their business. And he's got some awesome actionable suggestions for us today.
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Notes and links for this one, along with the full highlight reel summary are@sidehustlenation.com willpower I'll be back with my top takeaways from this call with Derek after the interview. We kick this thing off with perhaps the most important willpower trigger and that's how we see ourselves. Or I'll call it the identity habit.
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Ready?
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Let's do it.
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Our behaviors often stem from our identity. Now this can go both ways, which I'll cover in a moment. But for instance, if I see myself as someone who is driven, who works hard, who's a high achiever, and that's part of my identity, then naturally my behaviors are going to tend to follow that. So we all have these identities and these beliefs about ourself and it's really hard to go against that. So for instance, it can almost always become a double edged sword. If a person goes, well, my identity is, I'm a caretaker, I like taking care of other people. If part of their identity doesn't include receiving help, then they might actually be like, no, I don't get help from other people. I'm the one who gives help. A person has an identity of again, that ambitious high achiever who does things really well, that can actually backfire because they might become a perfectionist and not do things in the learning curve where they're not going to be so good. So that's a whole deep topic. The idea is we all have built up these beliefs about ourselves and about our identity. So what happened for me, a quick backstory was I used to eat fast food every single night in high school. So. So I did not see myself as like a health and fitness type of a person. And the first big transformation for me where all my. A lot of my habits changed around diet and exercise and health happened when I saw myself or who I really wanted to be as someone that was healthy and fit. When I got that identity of I'm someone who I take care of my health, naturally my behavior had to align to that. It had to be congruent with that. It'd be really awkward, psychologically speaking, for me to be like, I love my myself, I love taking care of my body. Now I'm just going to put a bunch of junk food in me. It wouldn't work. So the identity kind of gives birth to a lot of our other actions and behaviors. And as we'll get into though, you can start to change your behaviors and work backwards to start to shift your identity by doing different things and affirming different things about your identity.
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Was that just a flip of the switch for you?
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Like one day, okay, I'm going to stop eating McDonald's and I'm going to become this health nut. Or was it more gradual?
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It was a little bit of both. So looking back, it was a pretty profound Switch in terms of the, you know, how quickly I did, like a 180. At the same time, there was a buildup to it. So what I was doing was I was starting to read some books on the impact that, let's say trans fats and sugars had on the body. Now, before that point, I was like, you know, I can eat whatever I want. I was super scrawny and skinny. I actually wasn't overweight. I was just really skinny. So I was like, okay, I can get away with it. It's not doing any harm. So what's the big? And what does healthy even mean? Like, I didn't get it. So when I read about it and I go, oh, wait a second. This is maybe why I don't have energy. This is why I'm breaking out my skin, breaking out acne. This might be the damage that I'm doing to myself right now. And I saw in scientific terms, the consequences. I had to ask myself this question. Who do I want to be? And not just in that moment. I projected. This is actually a important technique. I go, 10 years in the future, when I'm in my 20s, when I'm in my 30s, that ideal version of myself, do I want to be some guy who's, like, out of shape and unhealthy and just miserable, or do I want to be someone who's fit, muscular, strong, capable, someone who can just, like, conquer life? Right. I had this ideal image. I go, that's what I want to be. I want to be this strong, fit, healthy, vibrant person. And I have that image. And then I go, okay, well, that starts with me. Now I'm going to choose to be that kind of person. And so it was, you know, maybe a couple months to get there of reading some books and learning about it. But then the changes happened fairly quickly in terms of cutting out a lot of the junk food and really getting focused on my health.
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Yeah, there's a lot of kind of external environmental hacks and stuff, and we'll get into that. But it's this internal identity thing saying, like, I'm the type of person who takes care of myself, who prioritizes my business or, you know, whatever it is, whatever you're trying to do. And it's this. Maybe that's. Maybe that's what willpower is.
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It's like this sacrifice.
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And maybe sacrifice is the wrong word today, or doing what's hard today to hopefully reap the benefits of what's better tomorrow. Or like you said, for your future self 10 years down the road, 20 years down the road. But I don't know. Like, I have a hard time convincing myself of that, even though I could say the same thing. Like, I'm the type of person, I care about what I put into my body. But then every weekend it's like, well.
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You know, then you kind of fall.
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Off a little bit, and it's harder to really ingrain that. I don't know. Do you have any words of wisdom for people who are just like, with you? Like, that sounds great, but it's harder to implement in practice.
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Yeah. So, first of all, I can relate because that's really what motivated a lot of my research into this, because. And I'll share in a moment how that switch flipped when it came to the entrepreneur identity, which I didn't have. So that whole question of, cool, this sounds good in theory, but how do I actually do that? You know, it's one thing, and especially with things like affirmations and stuff, I'll just look in the mirror and tell yourself, I'm successful or I am healthy, vibrant person. Like, in the back of your head, I'm like, I know I'm just lying to myself, or like, I can't quite convince myself. And then it doesn't really work so well. So that's actually really what spurred a lot of this research into it, because I noticed that there were some areas that, you know, with health. Yeah, it was a change. And there's a number of things that can break down. You know, one was that, you know, projecting in the future. Another thing was the research and the study, which I. For me, part of it goes into the personality type of what's your. Why do you have a big enough why? And for me, if I would have just said to myself, be a healthy person, I don't think that would have been motivating. But when I saw the consequences to my life, especially more even in the short term, of what those foods were doing to me versus what different foods could do, that's when it became more real. So there's different points where it becomes, I guess, real for a person, where it's not just this. It seems like it's something I should do versus it becomes something. No, this is something I truly want for myself.
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You got to want it versus just like, oh, I want. Especially when you're creating a New Year's resolution list or something, where it's like, okay, there's a dozen different things. It's like, well, almost by definition, if you really wanted to do that stuff, you probably wouldn't have waited until some arbitrary change in the calendar.
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Exactly. And so I've still had my challenges again, which got me into this, where it's like, I did that with health, but, you know, do I keep my apartment clean all the time? No, not really. So it's like. But I learned techniques and hacks and tricks to improve that and to start to shift some of the behavior. And so one thing I noticed when it came to, let's say there's internal and external. So one external thing that can have an influence was when I had just, I believe, graduated college. So I was working a job and I started reading books on, like, personal development, starting a business. And I remember I had a guy who was kind of a mentor to me, saying, like, okay, you're an entrepreneur. And I never made that connection before. So I was kind of starting this, like, little side business thing with skincare products as, like, an affiliate. And I did MLM stuff, and that's not really the thing I got into, but there was, like, I was experimenting with some different things. And he's like, so you're an entre. He said, you're an entrepreneur. And he kept saying it. And I just, oh, I guess that's what I am. And eventually it stuck as an identity. I go, oh, yeah, now I'm an entrepreneur. And I did start my businesses with books and courses and stuff, but I noticed I had to, like, do something and then have someone externally speak into me who I am. Right. And that's how a lot of our identities are formed when we grow up. It's parents, it's teachers, it's other people saying who you are. Now, I wouldn't necessarily want to depend on someone else to define our identity because there's obvious limitations to that.
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Yeah, I can see that backfiring too.
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Yeah. It does speak to the power, though, of environment and that who you surround yourself with. Are they speaking into you, who you are? And do they see your potential? Do they see what you're capable of and recognize it even when we don't recognize it ourselves? So that's part of the power of having mentors and influences and people around us that as human beings, we're social creatures. So I'm a little bit more of the independent type. If someone tells me something, I'm like, whatever, that's just your opinion. But still, we're all influenced to some degree by these external influences. So that's the external and then the internal, the convincing yourself aspect. From the practical standpoint, a real simple language trick is Instead of saying, I believe something, this is something I'll give credit. I've learned it in nlp, but it was David Bayer who really hit this home for me. And so you can say out loud these two different statements. One is, I believe I am a health enthusiast. I believe I love taking care of my health. So if you say that and then now contrast that with this. I've decided I am now a health enthusiast. I've decided I now take great care of my health. What you'll find if you say those two things out loud. For myself and for many others, the power of the word decision. I've decided this is what I decide. That's something that you can change. Beliefs are kind of abstract. I don't. I have this belief. What do I do about it? But if you decide something now, all of a sudden there's this empowered state of I've decided this is true now, regardless of what's been true in the past. And the second part of the convincing, so to speak, is you go, what's my evidence of that? So, Nick, what you notice is you go, well, I have evidence of what I do on the weekends that counteracts that. Right. But what's your evidence that does support you're someone that values your health and takes care of your health?
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Okay, that's why I like that I believe versus I decided. And I should note, this goes just beyond we were talking kind of about, like health and fitness. But I think this really applies to any habit or any project that you're trying to work on. One language hack that I really liked from the Healthy Habit Revolution book was just the self talk of I don't. Instead of I can't saying, I can't have that piece of cake. So I don't have that piece of cake because I'm somebody who cares about what I put in my body. Like, it's just this subtle language hack that kind of spins it from being a sacrifice that you're making to being, again, an investment in your future self and all that stuff. So that's kind of the identity habit. And you kind of touched on. I don't know if this was your quote or somebody else's, but the external factor environment is stronger than willpower. And we could call this keeping the kryptonite away. And like, if you don't want to eat crap, don't buy crap. You know, keep the crap. Keep the ice cream out of your house if that's not what you want to have, you know, don't have the six Pack of beer front and center in your fridge every time you open it. But you know, one question that came up in the Facebook group regarding environment was how do you get buy in if you're trying to make a habit change, you know, whether it's for your business, for your health, from the people.
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You live with or the people you're.
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Surrounded by, your friends and family. I don't know what your living situation is, but you don't have a wife and now two kids around here. It's like, you know, nothing is going to go down without their buy in. Especially without mom's buy in.
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D
Yeah. So there's two things. One is getting the buy in with the people adjusting your environment. And I will briefly touch back on what you said about the I don't versus I can't. Because what really makes this powerful is the research behind it showed. So this isn't just oh, this sounds good or feels better. It actually showed a couple different studies. One was using I don't had success 8 out of 10 times in avoiding a temptation. And then the I can't, I think it was once out of ten, oh gee, really significant difference. Another one was like 30 something percent versus 60 something percent with the, with the I don't be more successful. So I mean, it's not just a sounds good thing. Like it's really backed up by the research. The power that language has in the framing in our mind. Because one that I don't is again, it's a decision. It's an empowered state of this is my choice, whereas I can't is like this is just something that's been forced upon me.
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Yeah, yeah.
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And I gotta go along with it. So that actually segues into what you're talking about with the people that you live with. Because if it feels to them like it's forced, then a lot of times there's going to be resistance. So as you said, buy in, how do you get them to want to choose to support this? So to get buy in, what you want to do is you want to look for what's the mutual goal? What is the highest level thing that everyone in that environment wants? So one of the mistakes, if I'm an entrepreneur and I go, well, I'm doing this for my family, right. Well, maybe what's valuable to the family is they want to spend more time, you know, quality time together. So you got to find the point of agreement and go, okay, well I'm working on this business for the purpose of having lifestyle freedom. So we can go on these vacations that we want to go on so we can live in this house that we want to live in so we can send kids to the school that they want to do or go play on the sports teams that they want to play on and get all the things that they want, right? So the conversation needs to be with the family about what is important to you and for what purpose. So for what purpose are you working on your business or for what purpose do you want to eat healthier or whatever it is and then find out how that actually supports the same intention and ultimate kind of big picture goals that the other people in that environment have. This is actually really sales because when you talk about buy in, effective selling is selling them on the benefits of why changing this environment is going to help them reach their goals rather than you just reaching your goals.
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All right, that makes sense. Practice a little bit of salesmanship, maybe.
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A little Jedi mind tricks, but yeah.
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I mean, what's in it for them that makes sense.
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More with Derek in just a moment, including the should do versus have to do rule coming up right after this. January is the season for leveling up, not just personally, but in your business too. Make it a resolution this year to simplify and automate the parts of your business that you don't love or aren't core to driving revenue like running payroll or guessing at tax forms. Our partner, Gusto is the online payroll and benefits software built for small businesses like yours. It's all in one. It's remote, friendly and super easy to use so you can pay, hire, onboard and support your team whether they're 1099 or W2 from anywhere. I'm talking about automatic payroll tax filing, simple direct deposits, health benefits, commuter benefits, workers comp 401, you name it. Gusto makes it simple and has options for nearly every budget. You can do unlimited Payroll runs for one monthly price. Gusto was rated the number one payroll software according to G2 for fall of 2025 and is trusted by over 400,000 small businesses, including many a side hustle show guest. Try gusto today@gusto.com Sidehustle and get three months free when you run your first payroll. That's three months of free payroll@gusto.com SideHustle G U S T O one more time. It's Gusto.com Sidehustle if one of your New Year's resolutions is to spend less time working in your business and more time working on it, it's time to get out of the weeds and bring on some help for that, millions of businesses trust our partner Indeed. Don't struggle to get your job post seen on other job sites. Indeed's sponsored jobs help you stand out and hire fast. Plus you get an average of 45% more applications and than non sponsored jobs with Indeed. There are no monthly subscriptions, no long term contracts, and you only pay for results. That's why for my next hire, I'm using Indeed. There's no need to wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed side Hustle show listeners get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility@inn Indeed.com Sidehustleshow just go to indeed.com Sidehustleshow right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com Sidehustleshow terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need.
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The next point that we have is.
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To tackle your should do's before your.
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Have to dos, which was really kind of counterintuitive to me. This actually came from an article that my brother wrote@becomingbetter.org willpower and you know, it's kind of counterintuitive, but maybe the argument is, hey, you know your have to dos are going to get done one way or the other. So you know, you might as well prioritize the stuff you should do early in the morning when your willpower is at its strongest.
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There's phrases that have been called energy management rather than time management. So managing your energy rather than thinking about managing your time. And that's an interesting reframe because it goes to this idea that if you have the most energy to tackle the most difficult things, if those are the should dos or if those are the things that it's like, I really don't feel like doing that, then yeah, absolutely. When do you have the most energy for that? And for many people it could be early in the morning. Some people it might be the afternoon, some people it might be at the nighttime. The idea though, the principle again is when do you have the most energy to handle those things? So a lot of this is about finding the sequence of things for myself as an entrepreneur. Creative work product like proactive creative work, definitely do that better in the morning. And some of the checking emails or things like that, I find that it doesn't really matter when I do that in the day, but if I check my emails first thing in the morning, I'm not taking advantage of that fresh morning energy that I have that could be put into doing something more creative.
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Yeah, I agree I feel a million times better when I can somehow manage to get up before the kids and like, you know, get something proactive done before just jumping into, you know, putting out fires in reactive mode. So that one has actually been really powerful for me the last year or so. Making a microhabit of just at least doing one proactive thing before diving into the inbox or what have you.
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Are you a miracle morning person?
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Like you know, doing your Zen meditation first thing? Like what's your morning look like?
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Yeah, so I've done the miracle morning. I'm not a strict follower of it at this point. I do have a morning routine that involves a few of those things. So meditation doesn't always make it in to the morning routine. Although I do feel better when I get it done in the morning versus waiting till afternoon or night. What does get done in the morning that I've been consistent with is some sort of. It's physical, it's some exercises, but it's not exercise exercises, more like some stretches, some more corrective work myself, which is about a 10 minute routine for that I do actually recently some voice work and voice training has made it into my morning routine. So different things make it into my morning routine. But there's usually a few exercises or tasks again might include meditation or some also usually like watching a video or something while I'm doing that. A video or an audio. That's some sort of personal development or business related type of thing.
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Do you think willpower is a finite thing that you get, you know, like.
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You get a tank of gas of.
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It every day and you know when it's gone, it's gone or is it just. Is that something that's been, you know, extrapolated from cherry picking the research?
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So the initial research that came out did seem to indicate that willpower is finite. So if you're using your willpower a lot throughout the day to avoid temptations or to get things done, it's like by the end of the day you might be drained and more likely to give into temptation or whatever. And then some other research came out that seemed to indicate that the belief about willpower, if you believe you're limited in willpower, then you will be. If you believe willpower is infinite, then you'll have more willpower. Right. So it's like Henry Ford. Whether you believe you can or can't, you're right. Our stories and our beliefs can become self fulfilling prophecies. They affect the frame. It's, you know, similar to the placebo effect in medicine. Now, at the same time, does that affect everyone to the same degree? I'm not sure. I'm not sure how strongly that belief would really play a role for different people. But it's certainly no harm in adopting a belief or a decision that I can handle anything life throws at me. I can get done whatever needs to get done. And you can tap into that willpower at the same time. I'm a practical person, so I go, okay, you need energy to live, and your brain determines your behaviors, your actions is consuming calories. If you don't have enough energy, whether that's the calories or the nutrients or things like that, there's just certain things you're not going to be able to do, regardless of how much you want to do. And if anyone's ever had the experience of extreme fatigue, where it's like, the mind is willing, like, you might really want to do something, but the body's like, nope, you're not going anywhere, or I'm not going to give you the energy for that, that's a real thing too. And you might be able to counteract it with some degree of, you know, just, I'm going to do whatever it takes. I'm going to get it done. At the same time, there are going to be some limitations. So I look at both. I look at the internal in the attitudes, emotions, but also just the physiology of it. So ultimately, the reason I bring up calories in the brain is because part of our survival nature is we want to minimize anything that's going to cost us too many calories, cost us too much energy. So what this means from a practical standpoint is adopt both. Adopt the mindset that you can handle whatever you need to do, and be strategic about not having to make so many tough decisions. Constantly having to fight against challenges in your environment. Again, a little stress can be useful, can strengthen you. But if it's constantly having to, like, say no to the distractions or the donuts or the whatever it is that's getting in your way, that's where it helps to change your environment. Why Steve Jobs has, like, just a few items in the wardrobe, less decisions to make, and ultimately you go, how can I set up my environment and set up my life so I'm not constantly fatigued having to make these little decisions or use a lot of willpower or a lot of critical thinking? And again, it's a little bit. The reason why we see contradiction in the research is it's not going to be one extreme or the other. Some degree of challenge is going to strengthen you and it's going to help you, but too much is going to overdo it and burn a person out, just like with exercise. So you find that balance for you.
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C
Yeah, for me, what's been helpful, you know, maybe in the case of your side hustle in your business, it's like blocking off the time on your calendar or prioritizing the night before, like what exactly you're going to work on when you get to, when you get to the office the next day, instead of spending the first time 15, 30 minutes or 45 minutes, like trying to figure.
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Out, all right, what am I going to tackle today?
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It's like, no, you know exactly in advance and you're removing that calorie burning brain decision from the equation. And it just like makes life a little bit easier and you feel more productive because of it. The next point that we have is the concept of today and not tomorrow. Like, I'm probably guilty, it's just everybody else, well, you know, diet starts on Monday kind of a thing, or, you know, postponing things towards New Year's resolutions. But kind of like what we touched on before, you know, if something is not worth doing today, it's probably not going to be worth doing tomorrow for you either. At least long term. So today, not tomorrow. Just if something is worth doing, you know, it ought to be worth doing today or starting today, because tomorrow is a very rosy future and today is a little bit to implement.
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D
What can help some people with that is we can trick ourselves because we can go, oh, well, it's not going to make a difference whether I do it today or tomorrow. Right. From a practical standpoint. So, you know, if I do this workout today versus tomorrow, if I write this article today versus tomorrow, does it make a difference from a physical world sort of standpoint? Maybe not. What really is the shift is who you become when you make that decision either way. So for instance, an example times where I'm, you know, laying in my bed, I'm taking a nap, I'm resting after they work, and I do Brazilian jiu jitsu and it's in the evenings, so I can remember times where I'm like laying in bed, I'm like, I'm just so comfortable. I kind of want to relax and take a nap. I don't really feel like going to martial arts. I can go to tomorrow or later this week or whatever. And in that moment, I know the important thing. It's not about my physical strength or the jiu jitsu class. It's who do I become if I make a decision to. And this goes back to identity, to, let's say, be lazy or to, you know, take the comfortable route. It's more important to me to go to that class in that moment just because it changes something about your identity and who you are when you go, this is uncomfortable. And that's exactly why I need to do it. Now. There's a little bit of a caveat, because are there times where I'm. There have been times where I'm laying in bed and I'm like, actually, my body really just needs rest today. Like, I can just tell I need to take a break. So this isn't like an extreme thing, but that's maybe one or two times out of ten that I've been in that circumstance. So I'm conscious in those times. And I go, you know what? I'm actually just going to take a rest day and I do it. There's no guilt. It's totally owning it. You learn to become conscious about your decisions where it's not. The exercise is not the. Whether you write something, you record a video for your business, or you do this. It's not those little things themselves in terms of the outcome. It's more about the outcome of who you become when you make those decisions. And when you decide to do something that's challenging because it now shifts and those actions do shift your identity. And you now have evidence that you are someone who has willpower. You gain evidence that you can push through challenges. And the internal shift that's created by those decisions is really what has that carryover effect then to being a more productive person in everything that you do.
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C
Okay, that makes sense. Helps shift your identity by saying, well, that's something that I'm not going to put off. I'm going to actually tackle it today. Tell me about state management. This was an interesting concept in the book, too.
- [27:19]
D
State is referring to your emotional state. How do you feel? Right. So I'm sure you can remember times where you've been in a state of flow and ideas are coming out and you're really like, I just want to take on the world, or I want to get all this work done and feeling productive and, like, getting things off the checklist. There might be other times where you've been in a state where it's like, I just want to. I mean, for me, I just want to sit back and watch Netflix for five hours and not do anything. Right. Both of those are different states. And the thing is, instead of being sort of A slave to one state and going, well, I'm just not in the mood. You go, what can I do to change my state? The whole Abraham Lincoln give me. Here are different numbers. Give me four hours to chop down a tree. I'll spend the first three sharpening the axe or whatever. Sure, state management doesn't require a lot of time investment, but it is that idea that you set yourself up for success. So what I mean by state management is if I'm not in, let's say, a creative state, if I just kind of woke up, I'm kind of getting going and I go, okay, now I need to work on something in my business, I need to write an article or whatever. Well, if I just open up a blank, you know, word processor, and my brain is just like not giving me anything, then the problem was I didn't manage my state. The first thing I do before an interview, before speaking on stage, before working in my business, before doing virtually any of these things, the first step is actually getting myself into the state for that activity. So it could be as simple as getting up and walking, which can enhance creativity by about 60%. The research shows physical movement is the quickest way to change your state. Could be putting on some great music, you know, dancing, moving my body. Now I'm in a different state. So going back to that Netflix example, if I'm sitting there binge watching Netflix, I don't want to go exercise and do an hour long workout. It's too much of a change in state from an object at rest wanting to stay at rest to an object in motion to stay in motion. So what I do is I go, I change my state first. And then here's the thing, you don't want to make a decision until you're in the right state. So if you've ever been in an empowered state, you'll probably make great decisions. If you've been in a disempowered state, oftentimes the decisions aren't so great. So if I go, I don't feel like exercising right now. I don't make the decision whether or not I'm going to exercise sitting in my chair first I would get up, I would do 10 jumping jacks, I'd move my body, maybe put on some upbeat music, and then I go, okay, I'm going to just do that for two minutes. Now after those two minutes, I go, do I want to sit back down and keep watching Netflix or do I want to go exercise? And what decision do you think I'm more likely to make after I've gotten up and changed my state.
- [30:02]
C
Okay, okay, man. I can see how this would be really powerful. And it works with music, works with movement. I think there was an example, even just like kind of a power pose or like a freedom pose of like, you know, spreading your arms out wide, something like that.
- [30:14]
D
This is one of those simple little hacks, so to speak, where. Another example, if you walk with your head down low and kind of put yourself into. Imagine what a depressed person would look like if they were walking. You walk that same way if I start to feel depressed. Whereas the research shows if you smile, even if you're faking it, and you act like you're successful and you carry yourself with a stature and walk upright and confident, well, by changing your physical body, you actually start to change your emotional state and you'll start to experience those emotions. It's really hard to look up, put your eyes up, look up towards the ceiling, put a big smile on your face and feel depressed. It's almost impossible because the physiology doesn't allow for those feelings to go along with that physical state that you're in.
- [31:00]
C
Yeah, very quick hack there.
- [31:01]
B
I like that one.
- [31:02]
C
Did you have the 22nd rule in.
- [31:03]
B
Your book or was that another article?
- [31:05]
C
Kind of the theory that if you want to learn guitar, if you want to get better at practicing guitar, for example, like, don't keep it buried away in the attic. Keep it, you know, on the rack in the living room. So you. It takes less than 20 seconds to start the thing.
- [31:16]
D
Yeah. So I didn't refer to it as the 22nd rule. That to me is simply a part of the managing your environment. Different people have talked about this, essentially putting temptations or distractions, making them harder to get access to. So the principle here is, I like to say it's working with your psychology instead of against your psychology. So a person goes, you know, I'm lazy or whatever. Well, human beings have a natural tendency to be, you know, lazy. But what is that if not just being efficient from another perspective, like, I don't want to do more work than I absolutely have to. I don't want to burn more calories, and I absolutely have to. So it's like use that. Make the things that are temptations, they're buried out of sight, out of mind. It's hard to get to. You don't even keep them in your house or your workplace or whatever. Then it takes that extra effort. And if the thing that you want to do, you know, practice guitar, eat healthier foods, get work Done. Make it easier. A simple example for that from a entrepreneur standpoint is I realized that recording videos required me setting up this whole backdrop. I got to get my lights going. I got it. My camera tripod set up, and I'm like, so I would constantly put it off. So I just go, it's worth investing in a different setup that it's going to take me 10 seconds to set it up and get it going, because I'll just be far more productive when I know it's a really easy thing to do versus something that I'm like, oh, this is going to take so much work.
- [32:36]
C
Yeah, make it plug and play versus trying to, you know, have to do this whole setup every time. That makes sense. So the next point that I have is microhabits and actually have a whole episode on this. Episode 212. And actually, Derek shared a kind of a framework for microhabits in our productivity roundup recently, which was, I think, episode 276, which was this. His magic three words, can I just. And then followed by a very small commitment. So can you dive into that a little bit?
- [33:03]
D
Yeah, so I microhabits. BJ Fogg talks about it. Steven Geist, the book Mini Habits really popularized it. And so I love giving credit to those who really brought it to the forefront. And for me, I need. Or what helps me is having reminders, like little tools in my tool belt. So that's where Can I just was born, using it as, like, an action. Like, can I just something. So if I want to clean my apartment, right? I go. I look at my apartment, okay, I got all this stuff to clean. I don't know if I really feel like doing that, right? So part of changing the state is I go, well, can I just clean off my desk here? And it's going to take like 30 seconds. So I say a micro commitment is usually something five minutes or less, A minute or less. Or I want to meditate. Okay, can I just meditate for 30 seconds? Then I can quit after that. And when you set it up again, you get into action, and momentum generates motivation. Once I'm in momentum, once you're doing something, you'll tend to want to keep doing it. So you just follow it up with another. Can I just. Can I just meditate for another 30 seconds or minute? And after the key thing, first of all, give yourself permission to quit, because that's part of it is if you don't do it, it's still a success. So that way, it's not a force. It's Not a have to, it's a choose to do. But also once you're doing it, you'll tend to want to keep doing it a little bit more. And you're taking these stepping stones. So it's like, can I just meditate for again, you know, 30 seconds. Another 30 seconds. Well, now I've done it for a minute. Let me see if I can get to the two minute mark. Now I've done it for two minutes. Well, you know what, let me just see if I can hit five minutes. Right. And you're incrementally doing it. And what happens when you do this? You never activate the fight or flight response. That's like, this is overwhelming. I can't handle this. Because you've made it so small, you don't allow for as much of the fear or the resistance to creep in. This is especially powerful for entrepreneurs not just to like get started with something, but also for. One of the biggest challenges for high achievers is the perfectionism trap and the needing something to be good quality. So I use Can I just. And I teach it to a lot of entrepreneurs who, you know, they're working on a book or they're shooting videos or they're doing something and it's that whole. Whether they're conscious of it or not, that desire for it to be good tends to keep them procrastinating or holding off. Whereas it's like, okay, can I just record a two minute video and I can delete it after I'm done and I don't even have to show anyone and it can totally suck, right? Can I just write five headlines and they can all suck. I don't need to use any of them, just five crappy headlines. And I believe it was Tim Ferriss talked about, like just write two crappy pages, right? And the idea is the can I adjust? It's not just a small action, it's also giving yourself permission for it to not be any good. And when you do that, you open up the door to get started, get in momentum and turn something that's crappy into something that's better, into something that's decent, into something that's good, into something that's great, into something that's excellent. Because it's almost always an evolution. I believe it's T.R. becker. Every master was once a disaster. So you give yourself permission to get started and work on it and then improve through progression.
- [36:06]
A
Every master was once a disaster.
- [36:08]
C
I love that.
- [36:09]
A
I've got more ways to strengthen your willpower this year coming up. Right after this, 2026 is going to be your year. I can feel it. With our partner, Shopify. 2026 is when you finally make it happen. Time to go from ideas and inspiration to action and results. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. In fact, millions of entrepreneurs have already made the leap from household names to dozens of side Hustle show guests. You've heard their stories. Now it's time to write your own. Shopify gives you all the tools you need to easily build your dream store. Choose from hundreds of beautiful, customizable and proven to convert templates so you can launch fast. Plus, you can use Shopify's built in AI tools to help you write product descriptions and headlines and even edit your product photos. Marketing is built in too. You can easily create email and social campaigns that reach your customers wherever they're scrolling. In 2026, stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com sidehustle go to shopify.com sidehustleen that's shopify.com side hustle. And here, your first this new year with Shopify by your side. New year, new systems. Right? It's the time when we all look at some of the messier parts of our business and think, well, what would it look like if it were easy?
- [37:27]
C
There's gotta be a better way.
- [37:28]
A
Streamlining your communications is one of the quickest and easiest upgrades you can make. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q U O. This is the smarter way to run your business communications. Quo, formerly OpenPhone, is the number one business phone system on G2 with over 3,000 reviews, is built for how modern teams work. That's why more than 90,000 businesses, ranging from side hustlers and solo operators to growing teams, all rely on Quo to stay connected, professional and consistently reachable. Quo works right from an app on your phone or your computer, and it lets you keep your existing phone number. What's really cool is Quo's AI automatically logs your calls. It generates summaries, it highlights the next steps so nothing gets lost. And it can even qualify leads and respond on your behalf if you can't take the call. So let's make this the year where no opportunity and no customer slips away. Try quo for free. Plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com sidehustle that's Q-U-O.com sidehustle quo no missed calls. No missed Customers.
- [38:35]
C
Yeah, that. Absolutely. I was working on some. It's like these habits that are, you know, almost too small to fail. I'm going to do one push up, I'm going to floss one tooth and once you're in there, hopefully you do a little bit more and, and, you know, build some momentum there. The one way that I was tracking that was in the form of like a 30 day challenge. Okay, can I do this every day for 30 days? Like, I don't want to break the streak. I found that to be sometimes effective, sometimes not. But I don't know, like, do you work with clients on kind of a challenge framework or a deadline framework like this used to work for? When I used to run, I was like, well, I got a 10k coming up, I better actually do this. Or I got a half marathon coming up, I better actually stick to the training schedule. Something like that.
- [39:13]
D
Yeah. I personally love challenges and deadlines. And this again, it could be a personality type of thing. And it could also be a. Some people might thrive more in challenges if it's something that they feel pretty competent at. So I have some speculation around that. Certainly I found for myself and a number of people that I work with that having a challenge and that deadline can really, again, it's like the right dose of challenge, the right dose of stress improves. You know, we see it in the physical body. Stress with exercise, stress with fasting, these different things can improve health in the right dose for the right people. And so when you find that just the right deadline to be like, okay, now it's real. Like, I can't just put it off indefinitely. That whole tomorrow versus today thing, it's like, you now have a reason to do it. Today I found that a recent speaking competition that I signed up for. Now all of a sudden I have an opportunity to speak in front of meeting planners. I have an opportunity to win something. I have a deadline that I gotta have a speech done by, like, all of these things came together. And then I worked harder on that than I'd ever worked before on, you know, my speaking. And it happened in music school with a music composition challenge.
- [40:20]
C
Okay. Okay.
- [40:21]
D
Yeah. I mean, challenges can work great for the right people.
- [40:24]
C
Yeah. If you're working on a book, like set the launch date and then work backwards to get it done by then, that's what I ended up doing with Buy Buttons, which otherwise probably still wouldn't have come out. The more recent deadline was our second son being born. So it's like, okay, I want to have a couple Months worth of podcast buffer by that deadline. So, yeah, deadlines can be really helpful. In fact, I need to probably utilize that little hack a little bit more to move some other projects forward.
- [40:47]
D
One thing about deadlines, that's great. So we talked about there's external deadlines, which could be like a race or a competition or something that someone else has set up. What you did is think proactively, how can I set a deadline for myself? And you might tell some friends or you might announce to your audience, I'm going to have my book out by such and such date. And then now you're accountable.
- [41:04]
C
Yeah, yeah. Where do you see people failing on this stuff? I mean, it's all good and you've given some great little tweaks and hacks and stuff that we can do and actually some stuff that I'm going to implement as well. But like, where do you see people kind of falling off track, either clients, years or otherwise?
- [41:20]
D
The great thing about something like can I just. Is it's set up to be fail proof. When you give yourself something small enough to do, you will get into action. You will start to shift things and it has an incredible success rate. Yet there's still two things that if they're missing from the equation, will still cause a person to fail. Now, it could be more than two things, but it typically chunks up into one of these two things. The first thing is simple and yet easy to potentially overlook is having a reminder. So if you look at the power of habit, Charles Duhigg all habits have the cue, the routine, and the reward. The cue is the trigger. And in the case of creating a habit, you got to go, well, how am I going to remember to do this now? Right. How am I going to actually, if I'm doing something new that's not part of my daily routine, what's going to get me to remember to do it, even if it's easy enough to do. So in that case, you want to make sure you have something that's going to remind you to do it. That could be the person wanting to floss. Maybe they need to put the floss right in their sink or right in front of them where they can't miss it. Many people, it's going to be scheduling things, putting it on a calendar, sometimes cell phone reminders, sticky notes, whatever it is. I often find for many people, it's not that it's too difficult, it's just they would forget about it. So the key thing is, what's your reminder? Find what works for you and Then the other big thing is that if you. Again, look at that three part process, cue, routine, reward. What will throw some people off is the frame that it's not that big of a deal, or yeah, I did, I wrote these two crappy pages. But so what? Like, what's the big deal about that? I was talking to a friend who, she wrote a book, she overcame so many challenges to write this book. And then the first thought that came up was like, yeah, but some people have written like five books, so what's the big deal? It's this tendency for the mind to like. It overplays it while you're trying to do it and it seems like this daunting task and then it underplays it after it's done. When it really needs to be the opposite, you need to underplay it when you're getting into it, be like, ah, this is no big deal. And then when you're done, be like, that's amazing that I did that. That's amazing that I wrote two pages or that I wrote five headlines or that I recorded this 30 second video when I didn't feel like doing anything. It's allowing yourself to soak in a sense of accomplishment. If all you did was 30 seconds of meditation or you read a, you know, two pages of a business book or whatever it is, you gotta give yourself some credit for that in order for there to be that reward, that dopamine release in that sense of this is a win and I want to keep getting more wins. That's how the neurology is set up where when you get that sense of accomplishment, you want to keep doing it. And the way to negate that is to just downplay it and be like, yeah, but it wasn't that big of a deal. So make sure you own your wins, own your successes. And a reward doesn't have to be like, I'm going to go out and buy something. It could just be like, yes, you know, a little fist pump or something that gets you that sense of like, I did something, this is great. And that success will tend to breed more success.
- [44:20]
B
Sure.
- [44:20]
C
And sometimes the reward is, you know, if you're doing the streaks or the 30 day challenge is just checking the box off like, hey, I got that done today.
- [44:27]
D
It's amazing. That little thing is that like, check dopamine release. Cool. I don't want to break the streak. I want to get my next streak tomorrow. And that's all it takes to start to build that habit.
- [44:38]
B
Derek, what's next for you?
- [44:39]
C
You got a ton of stuff going on. I'm curious, what are you working on these days?
- [44:42]
D
So my few things I'll have an upcoming book coming out, but I don't know the name of it yet. Basically 90 daily tips and reflections and things to help, you know, transform a person's mindset and love speaking for audiences and getting my NLP Trainer certification coming up in a couple months. I'm a master practitioner coach, but getting into training along with a number of other things. Got a upcoming podcast so be on the lookout for influencing millions podcasts coming out.
- [45:11]
C
All sorts of stuff, man. Really appreciate you joining me. You can check derek out@excuseproof.com side hustlenation where you can grab a free copy of the Healthy Habit Revolution audiobook. Really appreciate you putting that offer together for us. That's excuseproof.com sidehustlenation and let's wrap this thing up with your number one tip.
- [45:30]
B
For side Hustle Nation.
- [45:31]
A
Doesn't have to be, you know, habit related.
- [45:32]
B
Just for whatever entrepreneurial wisdom you'd like to impart.
- [45:36]
D
One of the things that made the biggest difference for me in my business and as well as when it came to health and all these things as we've been talking about willpower, which is very much the discipline approach and can have a connotation around doing things that you might not feel like doing. What I really found had the biggest impact and breakthrough in my life was when I did something that I really found fun and enjoyable. And so my it's a simple thing that sometimes you need to be reminded of it. Quick example with health, you know, running on a treadmill would not be fun. I never would have developed the exercise habit if exercise to me meant mindlessly running on a treadmill. Instead, exercise was going to the gym, lifting weights and seeing how can I beat my previous best. It was going to a beach and working out with friends and challenging each other to competitions. Business was writing and sharing things with people that I was passionate about and excited about. And the things that would keep me up at night from an excitement standpoint, from a creativity standpoint, would be things that I had a passion for and that were fun. So as much as willpower is a part of the equation, I believe, you know, there are times and business and in life where we got to do things that we don't enjoy. I also say look at the things that really light you up where it doesn't feel like you have to use so much willpower for where you actually get energy. You love to do it and find ways to do more of that because your creativity will get ignited, will get unleashed, and you'll be able to put so much more into it that I just. Willpower can't necessarily, you know, if I try to just force myself to write a book about something I didn't care about, I could get it done. But would it really be a powerful, transformational piece of work? I doubt it. So give yourself some permission to do things that you absolutely love and that you're passionate about.
- [47:24]
C
Yeah, I've had those same projects that sit on the to do list for weeks and weeks or months or sometimes even years. You know, these half finished projects on the hard drive.
- [47:32]
B
It's like, if that's the case, like.
- [47:33]
C
That'S probably a sign that you didn't care about it that much in the first place. Make it fun, make it exciting. That kind of transforms it from a have to do to a get to do. And that's a really powerful thing to, like you said, have more, have more energy for these projects and stuff that we want to get done. Derek, really appreciate you joining me. Once again, excuseproof.com hit up excuseproof.com side hustlenation to grab a free audiobook version of the Healthy Habit Revolution. I really liked it. I think you'll get a kick out of it as well. Appreciate you joining me. We'll catch up with you soon.
- [48:04]
B
I was going through my inbox to prep for next week's episode, which is a listener Q and A show. And one of the most frustrating emails I get is the I'll call it the I don't have any skills email. As in, you know, all that sounds great, but I don't have any skills. And at certain points in my life, I've felt the same way. But here's the thing. Even though I really doubt you don't have any skills, you have the ability. And if you're listening to this, probably the drive to learn new ones. All right, my top takeaways from this call with Derek. Number one, environment is stronger than willpower. So this whole episode was about willpower. But maybe one of the most effective ways to practice it is to not force yourself to have to. You know, you want to eat clean, don't keep junk food in the house, you don't want to drink, don't meet your friends at the bar. You want to start an exercise habit, hire a personal trainer and put it on the calendar. Business wise, maybe that means having a dedicated workspace that's free from distractions. Maybe that means setting up a mastermind with like minded people.
- [48:56]
C
You probably heard the quote, you're the.
- [48:58]
B
Average of the five people you spend.
- [48:59]
A
The most time with.
- [49:00]
B
And that can be really tough if the people closest to you in life aren't on board with whatever change you're trying to make. A couple things you can do about that first, you know, would be to put on your sales hat, as Derek.
- [49:10]
C
Suggested, and explain what you're trying to.
- [49:12]
B
Accomplish, why it's important to you, and what's in it for them. I think most of the time you'll find people want to be supportive. Now the other thing is if you can't change your physical environment and surroundings, you can change your virtual one. You're already doing that by listening to podcasts like this. You can also join communities or Facebook groups that lift you up and support you. A few years ago I didn't have a great entrepreneurial network locally. Almost all my best friends in real life are employees. So I set out to find my people online and I think it made a big impact. So here's a spot to plug the side Hustle Nation Facebook group Sidehustlenation.com FB.
- [49:45]
C
We'Ll get you over there. Definitely an awesome supporter community of people.
- [49:48]
B
Who are kind of in the same boat as you. Take away. Number two is momentum generates motivation. So that means start small. I think a common failure point is trying to make a complete life, you know, 180 overnight and start dozens of brand new different habits and it's just not sustainable. So pick and choose maybe one to three keystone habits to focus on for the first month and you can position it as a 30 day challenge. So challenge yourself to complete those. And then once they're established, you can branch out into other which ones are.
- [50:16]
A
Most important to you.
- [50:16]
B
Remember Derek's Can I just framework? Can I just do one proactive thing.
- [50:20]
C
For my business today?
- [50:21]
B
Can I just do 10 kettlebell swings? Can I just avoid processed food and refined sugars? Momentum generates motivation and takeaway. Number three is nobody's perfect all the time. You know, relax, everything in moderation, including moderation. You don't want to be the kid at the birthday party who can't have the cake. But you also don't want to be.
- [50:38]
C
At a birthday party every single day. Remember, in the words of Jimmy Buffett.
- [50:42]
B
Don'T talk about tomorrow tonight. I love the now. Nobody is perfect all the time. Once again, notes and links for this episode are@sidehustlenation.com willpower big thanks to Derek for joining me. And again, big thanks to my brother Chris. For the inspiration for this episode. You can check him out@becoming better.org. that's it for me. Thank you so much for tuning in. Until next time, let's go out there and make something happen and I'll catch you in the next edition of the Side Hustle Show. I'll see you then.
- [51:07]
C
Hustle on the.