Co-Sleeping

Summary

The Simply Pediatrics Podcast
Episode Summary: Co-Sleeping
Host: Jennifer Zethner, Holistic Certified Pediatric Nurse Practitioner
Date: March 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Jennifer Zethner dives into the often emotionally charged topic of co-sleeping. The discussion aims to normalize a variety of sleep arrangements, help parents navigate the guilt and judgment often attached to their choices, and offer practical, evidence-based advice from a holistic perspective. Jennifer reassures parents that both co-sleeping and independent sleeping can be valid, emphasizing the importance of doing what feels right for each family and supporting open communication between partners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Emotional Landscape of Co-Sleeping (00:45 – 03:30)

• Diversity of Experiences: Jennifer recognizes a range of emotions in parents regarding co-sleeping. Some are openly happy with it, while others express guilt or uncertainty.
  • “There are parents who are just matter of fact and they’re both thrilled and they love it and all good. And then I have parents who say it like, ‘well, the baby's still in the bed with us,’ and then you can hear the tone of their voice…they feel bad…” (00:45)
• Normalization Across Cultures: In many cultures, co-sleeping or room-sharing is the norm—not just due to economics but an understanding of children's needs for closeness.
  • “So many other cultures in the world, it’s just completely normal to not only share a bed, but often, often to share the same bedroom.” (01:38)
• Dropping Guilt & Shame: Jennifer highlights the pressure American parents may feel to move children into their own spaces and urges listeners to release guilt about their sleeping arrangements.

2. Independent Sleeping and Sibling Sleep Solutions (02:55 – 04:00)

• It’s OK not to Co-Sleep: Choosing not to co-sleep or bed-share is also valid if that’s what works for the family.
  • "You aren't doing anything wrong by putting your child in their own room." (02:55)
• Challenges with Independent Sleeping: Jennifer notes that children may not want to sleep alone until school age, and this is normal.
• Sibling Room-Sharing: A practical tip: if parents want children out of the master bedroom, having siblings share a room can help children sleep better.

3. The Importance of Parental Alignment (04:00 – 06:25)

• Unified Approach Needed: If one partner is not happy with the sleeping arrangement, it may harm the family dynamic and affect the child emotionally.
  • "If mom and dad are not on the same page with this, you really need to get on the same page...our kids can feel it." (04:34)
• Children as Emotional Barometers: Children can sense parental emotions even before they can speak.

4. Infant Co-Sleeping—Myths & Realities (06:25 – 08:00)

• Infant Sleep Expectations: Many parents are surprised (and sometimes panicked) when their newborns refuse to sleep alone, but this is developmentally normal.
  • "I don’t know where we got the idea that our children are supposed to sleep by themselves, especially in those first three months of life." (05:54)
• Natural Need for Proximity: Babies want and need to be as close to their caregivers as possible in the early months, especially if being breastfed.
  • “Your baby was inside of mom for nine months. They do not want to be away from mom at all. At all.” (06:18)
• You’re Not Creating ‘Bad Habits’: Early co-sleeping does not mean children will never sleep independently later; breaking the habit is very possible if/when desired.

5. Safety & Practical Advice (07:42 – 08:30)

• Sleep Is Vital: For exhausted parents, safe co-sleeping may be essential to getting rest in the early months. Consult with a provider for individualized safety advice.

  • “Certainly co-sleep with your baby. Do it safely. Speak with your provider about how that can be done…” (07:42)

• Evidence & Cross-Cultural Perspectives: Studies suggest moms and babies who co-sleep get better rest, and many cultures embrace co-sleeping as the norm for child well-being.

  • "Studies show that moms and babies sleep better. Their heart rates get regulated with ours, their body temperature does, they nurse well, they rest, they sleep, and so does mom." (08:07)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Drop the shame. Drop the guilt over co-sleeping. Enjoy your rest if that is what you choose to be doing.” (08:26)
• “Parenting is a journey and you’re doing an amazing job. Stay curious and keep learning.” (08:34)
• “Children are the barometers of our household and they can feel and sense our emotions.” (04:41)
• “Sleep is so, so important and our infants being close to us.” (08:00)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:45 — Introduces the variety of attitudes towards co-sleeping
• 01:38 — Cross-cultural normalization of co-sleeping
• 02:55 — Non-co-sleeping is valid; challenges with kids in their own room
• 04:34 — Emphasis on parental alignment for emotional well-being
• 05:54 — Infant sleep: busting the myth of solo sleeping in early months
• 07:42 — Advice for exhausted parents—safe co-sleeping and when to seek guidance
• 08:07 — Evidence supporting co-sleeping for maternal and infant health
• 08:26 — Encouragement to release shame and guilt about sleep choices

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Conclusion

Jennifer Zethner offers compassionate, evidence-informed guidance for parents grappling with sleep choices for their children. This episode encourages parents to follow their instincts, openly communicate with partners, shed the guilt tied to societal expectations, and prioritize both rest and family harmony. Co-sleeping, room-sharing, and independent sleeping are all valid, and none are inherently right or wrong—what matters is finding a path that brings contentment and restful nights to the entire family.

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For further reading and practical resources—including cross-cultural perspectives and safe sleep guidelines—Jennifer refers listeners to the episode show notes.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the Simply Pediatrics podcast simplifying holistic health care for infants and children. We're so glad you're here. Join Jennifer Zeffner, holistic pediatric nurse practitioner and holistic mom of three on a mission. Listen in as she shares the answers to the most asked questions from parents in her practice every day and offers parents practical strategies and actionable steps to support their child's health and well being. Enjoy this insightful, delightful episode of the Simply Pediatrics podcast and stay tuned for more information at the end of the podcast. Today's episode Co sleeping hello and welcome.

[B]

I'm so happy to be here with you today. Today we are talking about a controversial topic that hits at parents kind of like emotionally, often in my office, and that is co sleeping. It seems to be a variety of situations that I meet in my office where I have parents who are just were co sleeping and they tell me matter of fact and they're both thrilled and they love it and all good. And then I have parents who say it like, well, the baby's still in the bed with us. And then you can hear the tone of their voice where they like, they feel bad and I don't know if it's because they feel bad because they don't want the baby there or if one of the partners doesn't want the child there. And then I try to figure that out and I ask questions like, you know, is, you know, who else is sleeping there? Is dad in the bed? Is mom in the bed? You know, is everybody happy with this arrangement? And then I try to get some more information there. And then I have families who are like, absolutely not. We're not quite sleeping the babies, you know, in the crib or even in another room. So I just want to normalize this for you. You, us, you know, you American moms and dads out there. So many other cultures in the world, it's just completely normal to not only share a bed, but often, often to share the same bedro. And that's not just because of economics, you know, because they don't have other bedrooms. It's because other cultures are very aware of the fact that children want and need to be close to their parents even when they're sleeping. So we all need to get rid of this guilt and shame. We have this great amount of guilt and shame as adults when we are still co sleeping with our children and whatever that looks like, whether they're co sleeping in the bed or they're co sleeping, you know, in the bedroom on their own beds. This Is very normal. Now for any of you who are not comfortable co sleeping and are not comfortable, you know, bed sharing or even room sharing, that's also okay. You know, everybody just needs to come to a place where it's at their comfort level.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And not to shame others. You aren't doing anything wrong by putting your child in their own room. I will tell you that you might have a harder time getting your child to sleep through the night. You know, kids tend to have a difficult time in their own room. A good tip if you do not want children in your own bedroom is to have your children co sleep together. So having your children sleeping in the same rooms often is very helpful for children to help them to sleep better through the night knowing that their sibling, sibling is in the same room with them. Putting your child in their own room is, is not as easy as it sounds. And parents struggle through that and they struggle through that and just know that that is really normal. Kids really don't want to be by themselves. They do prefer to be by us. Until, you know, well, it's like the school age years really. Children are still looking for that comfort of knowing that mom and dad are close by. Now if I meet a couple, and this is where it gets a little uncomfortable for me as a provider, but if I meet a couple and it's very clear that mom is very much enjoying co sleeping because it helps her to sleep through the night. She's getting rest, the baby's getting rest, but dad is obviously uncomfortable with this. That's really not okay for your children. Whether they can talk or they can't talk. Your kids can feel emotions, right? Our children are the barometers of our household and they can feel and sense our emotions. So if mom and dad are not on the same page with this, you really need to get on the same page. Whether that's convincing the other partner that this is what's best right now, or meeting in the middle by sharing the bedroom instead of just the bed, or figuring out a way that both parents are content. Because when we have animosity, resentment going towards mom or towards the child, and sometimes we do you, that is not healthy for anybody. It's not healthy for the marriage and it's not healthy for the child bonding with either partner. So moms and dads, I know this is a really touchy topic, but look at it and understand that you're not doing good for anybody if you there's a partner in that relationship who's not happy because our kids can feel it. I'M really surprised by the amount of parents I hear from in the first three months of life who will text me like it's something very urgent, and I understand it's urgent to them that their child will not sleep in the crib, the bassinet, or the cradle by themselves at night. I don't know where we got the idea that our children are supposed to sleep by themselves, especially in those first three months of life. Moms and dads, your baby was inside of mom for nine months. Nine months. They do not want to be away from mom at all. At all. Just because it's nighttime and you want to be in your bed. We just assume we're going to put our baby in the crib or the cradle of the bassinet next to us and they're going to go to sleep. Nope, that's not close enough. I know they're in the same room. You'd think it would be fine. It's not close enough. It is very, very unusual for an infant to fall asleep by themselves in their own space and sleep through the night. Never mind. Babies don't sleep through the night and fall asleep by themselves. They want to be near us. They want to be on top of us, close to us as possible, as close as they possibly can, especially if they're breastfeeding. Studies have shown. Please keep your babies close to you. Don't feel bad about it. And stop thinking that just because you saw that baby on the Internet sleeping comfortably in their crib for hours at night, that that's normal. It is not. It is not normal. Babies need to be near us and just know that you're not creating a dynamic that you won't be able to break when and if you would like to take the baby out of your bed and put them into their own space. For those of you with younger babies, right, so our infants out there and you are co sleeping and you're hearing from family members, oh, you're gonna spoil them. And you actually don't even want to go on to have a toddler who's sleeping in your bed, but you're so exhausted and the only way to get some rest with your infant is to co sleep then certainly, mom. Certainly co sleep with your baby. Do it safely. Speak with your provider about how that can be done. It's dependent on, like, what your sleeping arrangements look like. But co sleep with your b Sleep is so important. And particularly in those first six months, infants really do need and want to be close to us, particularly, particularly if we're breastfeeding this is very normal and you're not going to form a habit at those young months that you won't be able to break later on if in fact it's not your goal to have a child sleeping in your bed. So don't feel guilty about that and don't worry about that because sleep is so, so important and our infants being close to us.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Studies show that moms and babies sleep better. Their heart rates get regulated with hours, their body temperature does, they nurse well, they rest, they sleep, and so does mom. I can attach some articles to this podcast to give you some reassurance and also some other information about what other cultures do and how it's much more normal in other places outside of the United States. All right, moms and dads, drop the shame. Drop the guilt over co sleeping. Enjoy your rest if that is what you choose to be doing. Doing. Remember, parenting is a journey and you're doing an amazing job. Stay curious and keep learning and I'll see you next time.

[A]

Thank you for joining Jenny on the Simply Pediatrics podcast. We hope that the valuable information she shared in this episode will inspire and empower you on your holistic parenting journey. If you would like to learn more about Jenny, her Simply Pediatrics practice, or anything that she spoke about today, please check the show notes that accompany this podcast and you'll find all the links and resources you need. You can also sign up for the SimplyPediatrics mailing list so that you receive Jenny's weekly newsletters packed with vital information and holistic parenting journeys. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please consider giving this page a like and subscribe to the channel so you don't miss any episodes. And don't forget to connect with us by sharing your thoughts in the comments section below. Follow SimplyPediatrics on any and all of the social media platforms and if you're interested in an in person or a virtual appointment with Jenny, please see the contact details in the show notes. Stay tuned for more episodes packed with a wealth of powerful information to support you on your holistic parenting path. See you next time.

[B]

It.