being way too brutally honest about our personal lives...

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon Episode: Being Way Too Brutally Honest About Our Personal Lives...
Release Date: February 19, 2025

Hosted by Ryland Adams and co-host Lizze Gordon, "The Sip" delves into unfiltered conversations covering pop culture, personal anecdotes, parenting challenges, and more. In this episode, the duo takes a deep dive into their personal lives, sharing brutally honest stories and offering candid insights.

---

1. Introduction: Embracing Imperfections

The episode kicks off with Lizze openly admitting her off day:

• Lizze [00:00]: "I'm a little ratty today. And that's okay. I'm a little ratty. I lost my gloss."

This sets the tone for the episode, emphasizing the show’s commitment to authentic and unpolished discussions.

2. Personal Life Jokes and Housing Struggles

Ryland and Lizze engage in playful banter about their personal lives, particularly focusing on humorously exaggerated housing challenges:

• Lizze [01:26]: "Yeah, I do have to say two husbands are better than one."
• Chris [02:01]: "He needs a section of the house that is completely separate from your house. But on the same property."

Through light-hearted jokes about having multiple spouses, they subtly touch upon the complexities of managing personal relationships and living arrangements in places like LA or Kentucky.

3. Financial Struggles: Birth Costs and Insurance Woes

The hosts candidly discuss the exorbitant costs associated with childbirth and the pitfalls of insurance misunderstandings:

• Lizze [04:14]: "This weekend, my husband and I were reminiscing about when we first got our son."
• Chris [04:33]: "Our birth was right, like $98,000. And we were responsible for most of it."

Lizze recounts her own experience of a $75,000 birth without adequate insurance coverage, while Chris shares a similar ordeal, highlighting the financial strain new parents often face.

4. Bathroom Accident Story: Navigating Domestic Disputes

Lizze shares a vivid and emotional account of a domestic mishap involving her phone:

• Lizze [05:29]: "Then the alarm goes up to wake the baby up. And Joe, like, just, like, let's go of the phone and it hits me right in the eye right here on the corner of the phone."

This story segues into a deeper discussion about handling frustration and anger in relationships, especially when accidents lead to unintended consequences.

5. Mental Health Issues: PTSD from Medical Experiences

The conversation turns serious as Lizze discusses her struggles with potential PTSD following medical procedures:

• Lizze [12:40]: "They think it's odd that I'm continually testing positive for something that usually works itself out in a couple of years."
• Chris [13:04]: "You're hosting again. That's how I feel about it."

Lizze details her ongoing battles with HPV testing and the emotional toll of medical interventions, revealing the strain it places on her mental well-being and her relationship.

6. Parenting Challenges: Bath Routine Frustrations

The hosts humorously yet honestly talk about the challenges of managing a bath routine with their young children:

• Lizze [08:08]: "And then the water scared them because it was like an. It was like a weird situation."
• Chris [09:27]: "See, if Shane would have looked to me in the bath and said, why'd you wash him with that?"

These anecdotes highlight the everyday struggles parents face, from handling resistant behaviors to ensuring safety during bath time.

7. Valentine's Day Story: Emotional Turmoil and Self-Care

Lizze opens up about a difficult Valentine's Day experience:

• Lizze [10:02]: "I woke up on Valentine's Day just wanting to die."
• Chris [11:20]: "I'd rather talk to anyone but you."

This segment delves into Lizze's emotional state, coping mechanisms, and the importance of self-care amidst personal turmoil.

8. Health Story: Navigating HPV and Medical Guidance

Lizze shares her journey with HPV testing and the medical advice she received:

• Lizze [12:15]: "We're super likely to have pre-cancer conditions."
• Chris [14:03]: "I don't think you're the asshole."

The discussion covers the complexities of HPV strains, the uncertainty of medical outcomes, and the interpersonal dynamics influenced by health challenges.

9. Advice Segment: Navigating Relationship Issues

a. Maddie’s Relationship Problem: Handling Emotional Outbursts

A listener, Maddie, seeks advice on dealing with a partner who becomes excessively emotional during intimate moments.

• Chris [48:07]: "I ended it. What do you guys think? Am I an asshole?"
• Lizze [48:38]: "No, you are not an asshole. That is awful."

Ryland and Lizze provide insightful feedback, emphasizing the importance of open communication and setting boundaries in relationships to ensure emotional well-being.

b. Married Couple's Problem: Addressing Lack of Intimacy

Another listener discusses a nine-year marriage with only one sexual encounter, seeking understanding and advice.

• Chris [51:04]: "Am I the asshole?"
• Lizze [54:08]: "What do you want?"

The hosts tackle sensitive topics like asexuality, lack of sexual fulfillment, and the necessity of direct conversations in long-term relationships. They encourage seeking professional help and reassessing personal needs to foster healthier partnerships.

10. Pop Culture Discussions: Saturday Night Live and Kardashians

a. Saturday Night Live’s 50th Anniversary

Ryland and Lizze reflect on SNL's milestone celebration:

• Lizze [37:34]: "I laughed out loud at some parts."
• Chris [37:53]: "If anything can make Saturday Night Live funny, it's the two of them."

They commend the performances by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, highlighting memorable moments and speculating on future changes within the show.

b. Kardashians Return to Hulu

The hosts talk about the Kardashians resurfacing on streaming platforms:

• Lizze [42:01]: "Multiple episodes are out."
• Chris [42:22]: "But they need something real to happen on the show."

They discuss the franchise's enduring popularity and the challenges of keeping reality TV engaging amidst evolving viewer expectations.

11. Celebrity Updates: Elon Musk and Nick Cannon

Brief updates on high-profile celebrities add flavor to the conversation:

• Chris [43:22]: "Elon Musk welcomed his 13th child five months ago."
• Lizze [43:56]: "And honestly, that's kind of funny."

They humorously compare the expanding families of influential figures, pondering the implications and public perceptions.

12. Shoutouts: Celebrating Listeners' Milestones

The hosts extend heartfelt greetings to listeners celebrating significant anniversaries:

• Lizze [56:22]: "And I shout out, Jimmy and Angie, happy anniversary."
• Chris [56:20]: "They love the food segment."

Acknowledging their audience's personal milestones fosters a sense of community and appreciation among listeners.

13. Food Segment: Subway Experience and Culinary Opinions

In a lively segment, Ryland and Lizze embark on a culinary adventure at Subway, discussing their meal choices and preferences:

• Lizze [61:25]: "Do you want to read the comments in the Comments section about why we have to make sensory activities."
• Chris [62:33]: "It's better than a mall pretzel."

They explore various menu items, sharing honest opinions about taste, texture, and overall dining satisfaction, all while maintaining their signature comedic rapport.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Lizze [05:29]: "Then the alarm goes up to wake the baby up. And Joe, like, just, like, let's go of the phone and it hits me right in the eye right here on the corner of the phone."

• Chris [12:41]: "And I have a similar thing, but for way less of a reason. And so that's what I'm working on."

• Lizze [22:06]: "This is really dark way to start the show. And something that was supposed to be light-hearted that I turned dark on accident. Gosh."

• Chris [48:58]: "I feel like you should work this out in therapy or this should be a conversation you have with somebody."

• Lizze [54:08]: "What do you want? You are entitled to get what you want and what you need from your partner."

---

Conclusion:

In this episode of "The Sip," Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon offer an unfiltered glimpse into their personal lives, tackling topics from financial struggles and parenting challenges to complex relationship issues and pop culture commentary. Their honest and often humorous approach fosters a relatable and engaging environment for listeners, inviting them to reflect on their own experiences while enjoying the duo's dynamic interplay.

Transcript

[Lizzie]

Sa. I'm a little ratty today. And that's okay. I'm a little ratty. I lost my gloss.

[Ryland]

One take one Marker.

[Chris]

Elizabeth chose violence. After I have been so kind and gracious, I started a whole other career path for us. So that you could buy a house. Or at least rent a house in Calabasas.

[Lizzie]

Or at least rent a house.

[Chris]

Well, we'll see how well the PA on dogs.

[Lizzie]

You don't go homeless.

[Chris]

Well, it's not about being homeless.

[Lizzie]

It's about being in LA or Kentucky.

[Chris]

Yeah, kind of.

[Lizzie]

Well, I do have to say, because I've been looking at everything and it's like there. There are no housing options.

[Chris]

What do you mean? You sent me a good one. That's viable.

[Lizzie]

It's viable for sure. But it's like, it's not. It's not actually viable considering our specific needs.

[Chris]

Two husbands.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I do have to say two husbands are better than one.

[Chris]

But it comes with his challenges.

[Lizzie]

They. They come with their own challenges.

[Chris]

Like, where are you gonna house the second husband?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, and then I need to get a second wife for the second husband because I'm not gonna fulfill his needs.

[Chris]

But then all four of you can live together with a baby.

[Lizzie]

No, she's not allowed to live with us, whoever she may be.

[Chris]

So how about a long term girlfriend?

[Lizzie]

I don't like that either.

[Chris]

What?

[Lizzie]

I know you want him to be crazy.

[Chris]

An honest man. Yeah, but the honest man can't live.

[Lizzie]

With his wife or make his own family.

[Chris]

He needs a section of the house that is completely separate from your house. But on the same property.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. Is this making it dark over here?

[Chris]

Let's collapse the head umbrella.

[Lizzie]

For some reason, it's causing me depression.

[Chris]

Oh, we're sorry.

[Lizzie]

Thank you. Oh, that's much better.

[Chris]

It is an awful shade, huh?

[Lizzie]

It was pissing me off in a crazy way. I'm so sorry.

[Chris]

I don't see your black eye.

[Lizzie]

I put a lot of makeup on, but also it's not black.

[Chris]

Why wouldn't you really put. Well, not play into it?

[Lizzie]

Okay, so here's what had happened. My husband and I were having a.

[Chris]

Well, okay, when I said play into it, I meant more as I forgot you weren't the one that dropped the phone on your face.

[Lizzie]

Okay, if you're a victim, why do you always do this?

[Chris]

If you're a big.

[Lizzie]

Why do you always do this? You literally till the end of this. Well, because I was just like, nobody knows what the. The story is. And you just come in and you.

[Chris]

Just make it Because I just glamorized Domestic.

[Lizzie]

Nobody thought that until you said it. Okay.

[Chris]

When you were. If you were to finish your story, they would be like, oh, my God. He was like, it's not even that black. You shouldn't have worn makeup to show it off more.

[Lizzie]

Right.

[Chris]

You see how bad that sounds?

[Lizzie]

I do the story at all now?

[Chris]

Fine. I'll do my disclaimer that I'm not down with domestic after her story.

[Lizzie]

I think on YouTube you're supposed to call it DV.

[Chris]

Oh, are they gonna demon? Is that.

[Lizzie]

I don't think. Here's something that's crazy.

[Chris]

Are we Patreon exclusive for everything now?

[Lizzie]

God, I wish. So the crazy thing about YouTube is I feel like a lot of people start, like saying things like essay or DV or whatever because they think they're tick tock. No, that's YouTube too. And I'm like, but did YouTube say they were going to demonetize for that? Or are you guys just being weird as fuck?

[Chris]

Or is it just triggering to say that? But it's still the same.

[Lizzie]

Triggering. It could be triggering.

[Chris]

I think it might be, but it still brings up the same word.

[Lizzie]

Word.

[Chris]

Which would bring up the same feeling. This is a really dark way to start the show. And something that was supposed to be light hearted that I turned dark on accident. Gosh.

[Lizzie]

I think we just removed the darkness from the frame.

[Chris]

It seemed like it seeped in in other ways.

[Lizzie]

It definitely did. Should we put the shade back?

[Chris]

We can't get canceled. Not when we have a Patreon to promote.

[Lizzie]

So anyways, this weekend, my husband and I were reminiscing about when we first got our son.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, I just got him. You just purchased him?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, we just picked him up.

[Chris]

Was he an expensive one?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. I told you guys what my birth cost before insurance. Right?

[Chris]

Did you?

[Lizzie]

$75,000.

[Chris]

Oh. Well, let me tell you what mine was.

[Lizzie]

What was yours?

[Chris]

I'm not going to.

[Lizzie]

This is not a rug. These are your babies.

[Chris]

Well, turned out that we weren't insured in the way that we thought we were insured, which we were. I mean, this was a big drama because we were not informed. Although I guess it was the best option. But then, yeah, our birth. The birth of our children was right, like $98,000. And we were responsible for most of it.

[Lizzie]

Makes my birth seem a little less bad, financially speaking. But so we were reminiscing and we were looking back at birth pictures and.

[Chris]

Gosh, now I'm being too honest. Whatever. I can't Change. I fought with the hospital for months. Okay, just.

[Lizzie]

Do you, girl?

[Chris]

I mean, I didn't have a choice.

[Lizzie]

No, I know.

[Chris]

There was literally no choice.

[Lizzie]

Oh, you know how I feel about this.

[Chris]

You said, claim banks bankruptcy and never pay it.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, well, that's. I also, for those of you in the audience, you never have to pay a medical bill.

[Chris]

I don't know if you can take her advice on that.

[Lizzie]

I would take it. I take it right to the bank. You never have to pay that. Get on the phone with the people in accounting at the bank and be like, hey, so I can't pay this. And they'll be like, what can you pay? And be like, very little. Like, maybe nothing. And then they go, okay, how about $5? And you're like, yes, here. Unless you don't have the $5. Well, you might be a little bit different. That's probably some bad karma. Okay. So anyways, we were looking at pictures of my sweet boy when we brought him home and just having the best. The best morning, like, vibes were vibing like it was a beautiful spring day. We had cleaned, we'd cooked, we'd played. We put the baby down together. We were laying down on the bed, holding the phone above our head, looking at these pictures. Then the alarm goes up to wake the baby up. And Joe, like, just, like, lets go of the phone and it hits me right in the eye right here on the corner of the phone. So it's like the worst part of the phone to hit your face. And it hurts so bad. And his first thing.

[Chris]

I'm trying not to look at you because you gave me the bad side.

[Lizzie]

And the first thing he says to me is, that wasn't my fault. You knocked it out of my hand. When the alarm went off, I wanted to be like. It's like. And then that just. Just put so much rage in my heart because it's like, I don't give a why it happened. I know it was a mistake. I know you didn't intentionally whack me like a fucking phone tomahawk in the eye, you fucking idiot. How about saying, oh, my God, are you okay? Not immediately to defending yourself. Like, if the phone doesn't fit, you must acquit. Shut the fuck up and get me some ice, bitch. What in the fudge was that? I've never been so mad. I was mad for five hours. We had the best morning, and then for five hours, I was like, just shut the fuck up. Period. End of my sentence to him for five hours. I was like, you know, you do this all the time. You just defend yourself before you make sure I'm okay. And it's like he doesn't hit me in the face all the time. You know what I mean? Like, that's not. That's not all the time. But it was so fucking enraging. I, like, I just. I didn't. I. Oh, my God.

[Chris]

That actually is physical pain. So I understand. I do a similar thing, but for way less of a reason. And so that's what I'm working on. What? Well, in regards to my husband, like, he'll do something with the best of intentions, but if it's wrong, I lose it. Well, I don't lose it, but, like, there's tension in my body and I have to release it somehow. So, like, yesterday, Jet has. It's like a little bit of dry skin or something. Like. So the doctor told us to put a cream on it and do a wash in the bath. But he decides the wash in the bath should be done at the beginning of the bath. But, like, our boys are always trying to drink the bath water, and it's a soap that should not be consumed. It says, like, do not eat.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, that should be the last of that.

[Chris]

And he decided it was a great time to just lather it on him at the very beginning of the bath.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And then he's like, oh, shoot, we have to drain the bath. I was like, see? So we had to drain the whole bath. The babies are losing it because I'm draining the bath and then I have to return the water back on. But then the water scared them because it was like an. It was like a weird situation. So then the babies are losing it, and I'm like, we've had a fabulous day with the babies. It's been a wonderful family day. And of course. But I did that internally. I bit my tongue. I was like, a little edgy for one minute and I thought, this can't ruin our great day.

[Lizzie]

Wow. I let it ruin.

[Chris]

But in my head I was like, why would you scream on the baby when it just started the bath?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. In my mind, I just kept thinking, fuck you. And then what was so awful is, like, I felt bad because, like, I love this man. And I could tell he's affected by the fact that his wife is still blame you. That's what I'm trying to say. Oh, my God.

[Chris]

See, if Shane would have looked to me in the bath and said, why'd you wash him with that?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. Death, death, death, period.

[Chris]

It's only acceptable when I'm gaslighting you in a fun way.

[Lizzie]

It. But, like, the dichotomy of it is so too. Because then it's like, I feel so bad because I'm so mad at you, but I'm so murder you. And why do you have to do it like that? It's crazy.

[Chris]

What about Valentine's Day?

[Lizzie]

Oh, Billy was gonna have a Valentine, but I canceled it.

[Chris]

What do you mean?

[Lizzie]

A little girl was gonna come over.

[Chris]

You're trying to set him up with Jet?

[Lizzie]

No, he's open to anything. We don't know how this cookie's gonna crumble. He's only five months old.

[Chris]

He was literally over on Saturday. And Lizzie goes, they're gonna end up together. And then five hours later, she texts me and she's like, oh, it's so cute how they're best friends. Don't get mad at me when Billy's infl them to smoke pot.

[Lizzie]

I did not say Billy is going to influence them to smoke pot. I said, don't get mad at me when we catch them getting high together. And I said, and the fact that you just made it my son's fault means that we have fudgeing be because we all. Max is the one who's supplying the fudgeing drugs. Max and Judge just a good times guy who's showing up because he's curious.

[Chris]

I feel like it's going to be Jet.

[Lizzie]

No, I think J is a good times guy. I think it's definitely going to be Max. Max is be like, have you guys tried the Green Devil or the Devil's Lettuce? What's it called? God, I've been sober. I did take such a mom now.

[Chris]

I did take responsibility and say it would. We'll probably catch them on my playground.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, probably.

[Chris]

So.

[Lizzie]

So I called CPS in advance and I placed an order for a future charge. And we'll see how that. We'll see how that crumbles.

[Chris]

Okay. Did you have a good Valentine's Day?

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Chris]

Oh, somebody canceled on you. You canceled on them?

[Lizzie]

No. What did I do? Oh, no. I was all up.

[Chris]

On what?

[Lizzie]

Because I Propofol.

[Chris]

It happened on.

[Lizzie]

It was the day before. So I woke up on Valentine's Day just wanting to die.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Like, I felt so hungry.

[Chris]

You have to rewind a little bit.

[Lizzie]

Oh. If you guys are interested, I had my kaposcopy and I've vlogged it. Oh, you can. It's on my only fans because it's explicit.

[Chris]

You get to see some hoo. Ha.

[Lizzie]

You get to see inside the hoo.

[Chris]

Ha.

[Lizzie]

It's like a Magic Bus episode.

[Chris]

I did love that program.

[Lizzie]

I did, too.

[Chris]

It was great.

[Lizzie]

Magic Bus STI Edition.

[Chris]

Anyway, they thought there might be a possibility of. What were they searching for? I don't remember.

[Lizzie]

They were searching for cervical cancer.

[Chris]

Because one of your tests. I don't. You have to tell the story. I know you have, but just like.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. So for Ryland, because I know the audience is keeping up.

[Chris]

Okay, well, then me, let's pass over it.

[Lizzie]

I keep testing positive for a strand of hpv, but I am not testing positive. So, like, there's like 500 strands of HPV and like 372 lead to cervical cancer. And there's two specifically. Or three specifically. That when you have all of. When you test positive for all of them together, you're super likely to have pre cancer conditions.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

In your snatch. I do not test positive for all three of those things. And I have been swabbed multiple times, and they've all come back negative for cancer. So cells. That being said, they think it's odd that I'm continually testing positive for something that usually works itself out in a couple of years.

[Chris]

Right.

[Lizzie]

So they were like, that's abnormal, because you have an abnormal result. We would like to do a capacity. And so I.

[Chris]

Well, they first tried to raw dog it with you.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, first they tried to raw dog it with me 12 weeks pregnant. And I was like, I'm so uncomfortable. I will lose my mind if you make me more uncomfortable. And then they're like, you know what? That's fine. We can do this after you give birth. Six weeks postpartum, we'll get it done. I go in six weeks postpartum and had a full blown, like, PTSD response to them trying to get up in my business again. And I was like, well, you should have thought about that the last time I let you in here and you all over the place, and you've lost your privileges to my pussy. So next time you want to get up in here, you're gonna have to knock my shit out, girl, because I'm not hosting again. That's how I feel about it. But my therapist also said I don't have PTSD because you can't have PTSD from labor. The same therapist at the hospital gave me.

[Chris]

Are you still seeing her?

[Lizzie]

Absolutely not. Because I definitely have ptsd.

[Chris]

That's crazy.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Are you gonna find a new therapist?

[Lizzie]

Probably not. I'm just gonna deal with it like this.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Anyway, so I tried. I tried and Then I tried again to let them go in, and I was just like, I can't do this. Like, I literally had, like a fight or flight response and started screaming and. And was like, I'm sorry. But I couldn't. I could not. So then they were like, girl, don't be sorry. We can knock your ass out. And I was like, y'all should have said something. What?

[Chris]

Did you bring the milk?

[Lizzie]

Of course I brought the milk.

[Chris]

You did?

[Lizzie]

Are you jumping the story again?

[Chris]

No. Okay, okay. All right. It's my specialty. I didn't know that. We started talking about this to get to that.

[Lizzie]

Come to the sip only for endings, because just give you that feelings, not facts and endings.

[Chris]

I know that's where this was going.

[Lizzie]

It's like Jeopardy. So he'll just say at the end, and I'll say, what is.

[Chris]

Wait, we're only talking about your pussy for that?

[Lizzie]

No, but I mean, it gets there.

[Chris]

Oh, I didn't know. Okay. I didn't know the roller coaster ride you were taking us on, so hopefully it doesn't get stuck.

[Lizzie]

Well, oh, well. Chris, go stand outside to make sure we make it to the end of this ride.

[Chris]

Maybe both of us should leave to ensure full safety. No one's coming to save you.

[Lizzie]

Oh, no. This is how Rose must have felt on that little door. Anyway, which one lived? Rose.

[Chris]

God bless her.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. What do you mean, which one lived? That's the whole movie.

[Chris]

But there was room for both, right?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. I get.

[Chris]

Somebody call Steven.

[Lizzie]

Steven.

[Chris]

Oh, James.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God.

[Chris]

Somebody called Jimmy. We've got to have connections to him.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my.

[Chris]

Does the person you're estranged from have a connection to that person?

[Lizzie]

No.

[Chris]

Can we get in touch with Jimmy?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, we'll try. We'll get in touch with Jimmy.

[Chris]

Okay. Where were we?

[Lizzie]

I don't even know.

[Chris]

Now you're in your vagina.

[Lizzie]

So they give me propofol.

[Chris]

We don't really know what.

[Lizzie]

I was like, I'm breastfeeding. I'm pretty sure now the vagina is just the tube or like the tunnel.

[Chris]

Let's not do this again.

[Lizzie]

Okay. Anyway, so they give me propofol. They're. And they're like, this is totally cool. To breastfeed after, like, all that stuff. And I was like, isn't this what killed Michael Jackson? Like, what do you mean? This is totally fine to fucking breastfeed after. Is it a barbiturate? Like, what the fuck is it? And then the anesthesia. The anesthesiologist comes in and she goes, yeah. So you Know, it should be fine because it has a short shelf life in your body or something like that, and so it burns out of your system really quickly once we stop administering it. So by the time you feed your son, it should be out of your system. But it's like, well, my body's, like, making milk the whole time, kind of. So there probably is gonna be some in my milk that I've made. She's like, right. And, you know, to be honest, there is no ethical way to test whether or not the effects of the breast milk will harm the child. And I was like, so I shouldn't give this to my, like, kid? And she's like, well, you can do whatever you want to do. And I was like, no, you're the expert here. I don't know. This is you. You have to tell me. You know what I'm saying? So I wound up pumping and dumping, but instead of dumping it, I'm gonna put it in this guy's gullet.

[Chris]

Well, as you know, I've wanted. I mean, it does make me sick to think about.

[Lizzie]

Me too.

[Chris]

But the properties I hear are quite incredible.

[Lizzie]

And if you feel the propofol, this is an ethical way to test it.

[Chris]

Oh, my gosh. If I start getting loopy, it's such a nice vibe.

[Lizzie]

If you start getting loopy, I'm drinking something.

[Chris]

Are you allowed? Okay, I am.

[Lizzie]

Oh, this probably should take me to a meeting, maybe. Only I. No, I guess I can't have the milk. Dang sad.

[Chris]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Lizzie]

Next.

[Chris]

Wow. I got. Oh, okay. Well, while we're on the subject of babies. Oh, Billy's a bully, and the moms at Lizzie's Mommy and me refuse to hang out with her because Billy makes their babies cry.

[Lizzie]

That's not true.

[Chris]

And if she says anything different, she's lying to your face. And why not true? Because everything with these.

[Lizzie]

Not true.

[Chris]

Let me get my. Let me get my sentence out.

[Lizzie]

I'm gonna sue you for defamation and slander. So go ahead and finish it. I'm gonna take you for everything you've got. You nasty.

[Chris]

You get nothing of the patreon.

[Lizzie]

Oh, I'm gonna get everything. This house about to be mine. Keep talking.

[Chris]

Other problem with moms is why does everything have to be sen. Is sensory.

[Lizzie]

Okay, all right. Ryland's just upset because his kids have never sensory explored.

[Chris]

Oh, they sensory explore the entire house. What are you talking about? I don't know why we have to make sensory activities when the world is sensory.

[Lizzie]

Do you want to read the comments in the Comments section about why we have to make sensory activities.

[Chris]

They're playing all day, they're getting sensory activities.

[Lizzie]

Right.

[Chris]

Whatever. You guys can drag me. My kids are going to turn out just fine.

[Lizzie]

Okay, I honestly think your children are lovely.

[Chris]

You're gonna say something nasty? I have to cut again?

[Lizzie]

No, I just said I think your children are lovely.

[Chris]

Okay?

[Lizzie]

I think Jett is so cute and funny.

[Chris]

No, her. Your defense mechanism is just because you don't like socks on Billy that he needs to touch the ground for sensory.

[Lizzie]

No, you're attacking me because this morning I called Billy's eating sensory play.

[Chris]

Oh, right.

[Lizzie]

You brought all this up in some weird fucking way. And then you were like, no, save it for the. I was like, oh, no, the oh, no wasn't for me girl. It was for you. That was a protective friend thing. And also, let me add, the moms are not afraid of Billy. They are not afraid of Billy.

[Chris]

Okay, why won't they hang out with you then?

[Lizzie]

Whoa. You told me that's probably about me because I'm insufferable.

[Chris]

Deborah.

[Lizzie]

Right.

[Chris]

Anyway, you told me that he bullies them.

[Lizzie]

No, he doesn't bully them. He's just a little bit stronger and grabbing.

[Chris]

He's just a little more advanced than them.

[Lizzie]

Well, I wouldn't use that word. But that being said, because the child's a crime, the probably is. That's all I keep thinking, like, why do you think Billy can do these things? Because he's not wearing socks over his body pajamas. Can I. Fucking freak.

[Chris]

Can I ask you what's the difference between all of the activities we do in a sensory specific activity?

[Lizzie]

Because I don't know. Everything I know about parenthood comes from a 15 second reel on Instagram and I only watched 2.5 seconds of it.

[Chris]

I think this is my problem. It's Instagram. I scroll these Instagram reels and I'm like, you guys are bored as hell. All right, stop. Like, no.

[Lizzie]

So I. The thing with sensory development is like, as our babies come online, their bodies feel things differently, and so that engages different parts of their brains.

[Chris]

Yeah, but if you're existing in the world and playing with your children. Yeah, that's going to come naturally.

[Lizzie]

Sure.

[Chris]

All right.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. I'm not there. By no means is it. Are you neglecting your child if you don't make a bone broth dinosaur excavation kit? That's not what I'm saying, but.

[Chris]

And my problem isn't with you, it's just with. I think it's the. The keyword. What do you Call those.

[Lizzie]

Not the milestones.

[Chris]

No, no, no, no. Whatever.

[Lizzie]

The keyword triggering words. What do you know? What are you trying to say? I want to know.

[Chris]

It's become like a buzzword is what I want to say.

[Lizzie]

Oh, censor.

[Chris]

And it's just like, all these reels. I'm just like, oh, my gosh. Get a fucking life.

[Lizzie]

Well, it's. It's about, like, motor your skills, like, developing those things. It helps with language. It helps with.

[Chris]

I know, but if you're playing with your baby, interacting with your baby, doing things with your baby, they're naturally gonna get these things. Yeah, okay.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. Agree.

[Chris]

I don't even know who I'm fighting with.

[Lizzie]

It seems like yourself, maybe.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Do you want to do some sensory play? Do you want me to make you a gelatin kit where you can play in it and figure it out?

[Chris]

That sounds pretty fun.

[Lizzie]

He comes back, and his vocabulary is just through the roof. I make him walk barefoot through his house for a day, and he sits back down, and he's like, chill as fuck. Doesn't end stories before they start. Like, it's crazy.

[Chris]

I can't even be without a shoe in my house. So if I'm that way, my kid's that way.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, probably.

[Chris]

Definitely.

[Lizzie]

Absolutely.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

But we are starting solids with Billy.

[Chris]

And he's just like, no, Max was like that.

[Lizzie]

He's like. But Billy's making that face that he makes where he's like, I'm cool, but he's like, slowly just going, well, I loved.

[Chris]

At the end of it, you're, like, feeding it to him, and then she puts it in front of him, and he just, like, grabs it. Like, defeat. He's like.

[Lizzie]

He just squishes it in his hands. But that's why I say, like, they say food before one is just for fun before one. And then that's where Ryland was triggered by the word sensory play. Because I said it's. I'm just considering this to be sensory.

[Chris]

Play, and I think the buzzword in general just kills me.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, he doesn't like buzzwords, but.

[Chris]

No, I. No, I hate about.

[Lizzie]

And who does? They're buzzy for a reason, to evoke a response. And he's been provoked.

[Chris]

Exactly. And if there's anything I am. It's not hip to what everything is that's going on.

[Lizzie]

Who is.

[Chris]

Is. I think a lot of people that are plugged in.

[Lizzie]

No, they're hip to their own niche and corners and shadows. Like, nobody knows everything. And honestly, nobody knows anything. I bet you anything in, like, 12 years, they're gonna be like, we shouldn't have had babies pinching things with their forefingers and their thumbs because it makes them conservative or something. Like. Like, we can't win.

[Chris]

Well, that's what I mean. It's like, just do the best you can.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You know?

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Everyone's trying their best.

[Lizzie]

Everyone's trying their best.

[Chris]

Okay. Something. Temperament is a 3. Am I giving away a punchline again?

[Lizzie]

Probably.

[Chris]

Why don't you read your own deadlines then? Because I can't see mommy and baby temperament.

[Lizzie]

We did this thing in our mommy and me class where we were talking about, like, babies temperaments and parents temperaments and seeing how they, like, align or don't align because they. The. The main point of it was just talking about, like, your kids are not exactly you or they are a lot like you. And if they are a lot like you, you know how to manage them because you know how you like to be managed in situations like that. And if they're not like you, you have to stop shoving your. Down their throat.

[Chris]

I think that's beautiful. I think I. I learned that in my relationship. You can't.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I mean, and any relationship with friendships, with anything, you're not going to change a person. So if you want a person in your life, you have to best navigate how to understand each other.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And so why would it be different for your child?

[Lizzie]

Exactly. And it was just funny because one of the things it was like, basically doing, like, a Cosmopolitan quiz where it's like, on a scale of 1 to 5, like, are you easily distracted? Like, things like that. And one of them was like, baby's temperament and parents temperament. Like, are you really loud? Do you have a really big response when you enter a room? Like, how are you like these things? And I was like. I was like, the second one to go, and I was like, I'm probably a five. I'm probably for sure a.

[Chris]

Is that the highest?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, that's the highest. And then it goes around. Then we do the babies, and then it comes to Billy. And I was like, you know, like, he's like an even three. Like, he's like a right down the middle, super chill guy. He's like a three. And then he starts, like, screaming. And one of the moms across her was like, maybe a 4.5. Maybe he's a 4.5. Like, just say you think he's a 5. You think he's a 5. Just say it. It. I said 5. He's a 5. We're fives.

[Chris]

This is why I can't be in a Mommy and Me class. I can't take it. I can't take it.

[Lizzie]

Sorry for screaming, by the way.

[Chris]

I love it, and so does everyone else.

[Lizzie]

Everyone loves screaming. Baby. I really like that. Mom, did you just burp?

[Chris]

No.

[Lizzie]

Oh, okay. That's all I got.

[Chris]

Okay, well, I'm not trying to shove Patreon down your face face, but something I didn't realize when starting the Patreon is how fun of the community aspect of it would be. Yeah, the messaging, the group chat is what?

[Lizzie]

We delivered a baby last night.

[Chris]

And when you say we, I mean.

[Lizzie]

Us specifically in the room. Pulled that baby out of that vagina.

[Chris]

She shared a photo.

[Lizzie]

No, not yet, but take your time, girl.

[Chris]

Yeah. I mean, you don't need to do anything. Yeah. You did a huge.

[Lizzie]

We are anxiously awaiting, so we'd love to see him when you're ready, but it is.

[Chris]

We do. I mean, there's, like, unofficial roll calls where everyone sends their pictures of their animals, their babies, themselves. Because I was sending all these pictures, and I thought, wait, can you guys not send photos? And then it started this huge photo train.

[Lizzie]

You guys not said.

[Chris]

Well, I didn't. I don't know. I'm still learning because I did this whole video message for the message app because I had a lot to say and I didn't want to type it all, and I couldn't put that there. So I thought, I don't know. Are members not allowed to send photos back? But they are. And honestly, it's become, like, a very fun community that we've been in nonstop.

[Lizzie]

It's like a group with our besties.

[Chris]

And I think. I'm not trying to oversell us, but we've been having so much fun that I filmed my own individual vlog. We filmed a vlog together. So I think there will be multiple Patreon exclusive vlogs a month in addition to the SIP extras. And I also posted my vlog, like, my vlog vlog for YouTube two days early. So I'm just gonna continue rolling out perks for the Patreon. That's very fun. I actually didn't really go into our comment section. I saw, like, a couple people were mad that we started a Patreon. I was like, you guys, you don't have to pay for it. You're not required to do this. Everything stays the same on this channel. But also, 95% of podcasts in this world have a Patreon. It's not like we're doing something criminal. So if you want to join, you're welcome to join the party. If you don't, we're so glad to have you here. It's literally like an additive that is everything in addition to not taking away from this show at all.

[Lizzie]

Right.

[Chris]

And it's gonna hopefully get Lizzie to my neighborhood.

[Lizzie]

Well, right now, we're just hoping it keeps Lizzie housed.

[Chris]

Anything else you wanted to say? Oh, well, the Patreon people are chuggers. You know how you guys are like the sip stars? They're like the sippers. Okay, the sip stars. The sippers. They sip on. They sip on the sip. But the chuggers are, like, doing the most, and they're chugging the extra content.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So they're the chuggers. So our group chat is called the Chugger Chat, and we're gonna make chugger bracelets. Like Taylor Swift inspired friendship bracelets.

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Chris]

That are chuggers.

[Lizzie]

Chuggers.

[Chris]

And that's your job.

[Lizzie]

Our job. Friends don't let friends friendship bracelet alone.

[Chris]

Oh, I don't think we can make that many. I think we're gonna have to outsource this.

[Lizzie]

I don't know how to outsource it. Is the only thing that was your.

[Chris]

Job is to figure out how to outsource.

[Lizzie]

No, I Googled it for 12 minutes. Come up with anything. So I think we just. Like, this is. I think we just have to do it.

[Chris]

And this is my problem with starting a Patreon with Lizzie. I'm like, this is going to benefit.

[Lizzie]

She wants to personally make a thousand bracelets for you guys because she loves her chugs.

[Chris]

Oh, if you want to do that, that's fine.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I just mean I was going to divvy up work for you, and we're going to see if you can do it.

[Lizzie]

I'm making a thousand bracelets, breastfeeding my child, and supporting a house with two husbands.

[Chris]

And editing a vlog.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, two vlogs.

[Chris]

Two.

[Lizzie]

One for my channel.

[Chris]

Oh, right, right.

[Lizzie]

For me. One for you.

[Chris]

Okay. I have beef with. This is. I know it's not a great shop, but.

[Lizzie]

Oh, no.

[Chris]

What?

[Lizzie]

I mean, I can see it. Do you.

[Chris]

Should I stop?

[Lizzie]

I will say Mandy Moore recently was canceled publicly for having beef with an Amazon delivery guy. So I don't know that we want to go down.

[Chris]

Oh, there was backlash for that.

[Lizzie]

Of course there was backlash for that.

[Chris]

I only saw the headline where she said, Amazon WiFi. Why would you deliver a package to a house that's burnt down?

[Lizzie]

Well, Amazon delivered the package where the people told them to deliver the package to.

[Chris]

Right.

[Lizzie]

Amazon risk their life by going into a dangerous area where the air quality is garbage to deliver the package you ordered to that location.

[Chris]

I would think I would go on my Amazon account and cancel the order or see find a way to redirect it.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I don't think that was.

[Chris]

And what are you ordering on Amazon? That's that.

[Lizzie]

Well, apparently it was her parents in law or something. But like Mandy, like pick your battles, girl. Like, we all liked you.

[Chris]

She's on we still like you, Mandy.

[Lizzie]

No, we still like you Mandy. But like what the are we see.

[Chris]

If the Internet's turning on? Hating Mandy more for this is why I hate the Internet. It's like I still love Mandy more. Even if she had a moment of.

[Lizzie]

Anger, it's not a cancelable offense. But it is like she came into a room, farted, said nothing, and left. Do you know what I mean? And everyone was like, did Mandy more just fart in here?

[Chris]

I know she's had great success and has resources, Celia, but you have to remember you're in a while. It doesn't matter how successful you are if you're. If your family has stink. If your family has lost their home, you're. You're probably more like how you lost it at your husband or how I lose it at my husband. You're a little more on edge if your house is.

[Lizzie]

My husband whacked me in the face with a cell phone like a bone tomahawk. I think I have grounds.

[Chris]

Okay.

[D]

Her parents house burned down.

[Chris]

I think we should go.

[Lizzie]

Very similar to my situation. They're her parents in law, you know.

[Chris]

Then I'll just respectfully skip this next topic. I have.

[Lizzie]

Did you think about it? And now you. You do think it's really. I don't want to stifle you.

[Chris]

Oh, no. I think if you're doing a job, you should do your job right. Period.

[Lizzie]

Do you want me to take my shoe off and scroll?

[Chris]

No, no, no, no. I'm not done.

[Lizzie]

Oh, no.

[D]

It's a new year and I love refreshing my energy. A way I like to be re energized is by going and seeing a live event.

[Chris]

Which is why I'm so excited to.

[D]

Tell you about today's sponsor, SeatGeek. SeatGeek has over 28 million downloads, which makes it the number one rated ticketing app. And to celebrate the new year, SeatGeek is giving all of you 10% off your next purchase at SeatGeek. When you use our code, the SIP10. There are more than 70,000 events events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, comedy, and more. Right now, you can use our code to get tickets to the recently announced Kendrick Lamar, SZA Post Malone and so many more tours. I've used SeatGeek pretty much exclusively in the last five years. I've seen Taylor Swift multiple times. I've gone to Sabrina Carpenter. So many sporting events with my family. And what I love about SeatGeek is that they really have your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a good deal. So look for green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee.

[Chris]

So take out your phone, open the.

[D]

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[Chris]

So you don't want me to say it?

[Lizzie]

No, I don't know what it is. I'm just trying to keep you safe, baby. Like, I protect.

[Chris]

I'm just thinking, if I asked you to stop at the store on the way to my house because my babies needed some pears.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Chris]

Would you get a pair that's so hard that you can't eat? No, you would search for two seconds and get the ripe one. Would you get an avocado that's already rotten and molded? No, no, you would get the one that's, like, ready to eat or a little too firm.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Okay, so why can't everyone do that? Is that.

[D]

That cancelable?

[Chris]

Is that many more of you?

[Lizzie]

But, like, literally, this is why I don't use Postmates and I don't. I don't use Instacart for groceries because for some reason, anytime someone else is getting my groceries, they're just like you, you.

[Chris]

But that's what I'm saying. You're paying a very. You're paying a premium for this.

[Lizzie]

I think the problem, honestly, isn't that you're paying that person the premium.

[Chris]

Watch, this podcast is sponsored by DoorDash.

[Lizzie]

No, and that's a different thing. I'll order food from DoorDash. I'll order.

[Chris]

No, I'm talking produce specifically.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I'm talking groceries and produce specifically. First, they don't pay the carrier enough.

[Chris]

But I took the carrier enough to give a.

[Lizzie]

Do they know that you're tipping?

[Chris]

I think they can see a guaranteed price. I mean, I know I. Because I was watching Benjamin, and with shipped, I think he can see what's guaranteed, and I think that includes the tip.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Chris]

So if I'm tipping really good and they can see I'm tipping really good, I'm hoping that they're gonna, like, do the extra two minutes for the price.

[Lizzie]

Honestly, I doubt they are because they're probably doing multiple carts at one time. So they're not. It's not that they're trying.

[Chris]

Well, I'm paying for priority.

[Lizzie]

I. Right. And that doesn't mean that they're not.

[Chris]

Okay, whatever. I'm Andy Moore, me. I have a question.

[Lizzie]

I honestly think the problem is the app itself. It's like, if you're good, okay, we.

[Chris]

Might be sponsored by them, so.

[Lizzie]

And if you're gonna ask somebody to do a job, pay them for the job the way they ought to be paid. It's the same thing with the restaurant business. Like, I'm so pissed off about restaurant businesses being like, no, you tip my employee. No, you pay your employee. Pay your employee. Pisses me off.

[Chris]

Okay. I have questions for people who sit and wipe.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Chris]

No, I thought I would dabble because I. Because Shane got. Because I'm using the bidet.

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Chris]

So I'm like, it's not that big of a mess. It's just, like, a secondary precaution at this point, you know?

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So I was like, I can try the sit and wipe because it's already clean, but the problem is I leave extra roll. Do my first roll, but you go back there. How are you guys not having it fall back into the toilet? Are you only getting enough for one wipe and dropping.

[Lizzie]

What the fuck are you.

[Chris]

How are you guys not following? Okay, so you're sitting on the toilet. You've just. Shit. Do you not grab extra toilet paper so you can do multiple wraparounds? Like, wipe, wrap, wipe?

[Lizzie]

Sure, dude. Like what. Why are you making this so fucking complicated? Just wipe your butt, bro. You got multiple systems in place.

[Chris]

Well, you do it sitting, so I want to know how you effectively do it sitting, because I can't.

[Ryland]

What's.

[Lizzie]

I just wiped my ass. What's the wraparound? And what are you dropping in the toilet? And then the toilet? Are you picking up poop and wiping your butt with poop?

[Chris]

All right, I'm just gonna keep standing. I'm just gonna keep standing because you fucking sitters obviously don't see eye to eye with me.

[Lizzie]

Oh, okay.

[Chris]

I hate you guys.

[Lizzie]

Good luck to you.

[Chris]

I hate you guys.

[Lizzie]

Good luck.

[Chris]

I'd rather talk to anyone but you. At least my husband loves me. I love you too.

[Lizzie]

You're sick. He's just texting his husband now. Fucking maniac.

[Chris]

And I used the wrong version of too. And he loves me anyways.

[Lizzie]

Honestly, I haven't gotten behind the twos yet, but I figured out the theirs.

[Chris]

I know the theirs now too. But sometimes when I talk to text, which I do exclusively it me and then it makes me look like I don't know my grammar when I do. At least when it comes to there.

[Lizzie]

I would like to take away everyone's right to talk to text. I think it's up.

[Chris]

How else would I do?

[Lizzie]

I think it's literally environmental terrorism and you guys must be stopped.

[Chris]

How can you do everything and use your fingers to text?

[Lizzie]

Maybe I don't. Don't do less. There was this man in Costco this weekend who was like, period, period. And I'm just any. And he's doing nothing else. It's like, girl, shut the up screaming period.

[Chris]

Okay, so you want to go low vibration?

[Lizzie]

I don't think it's low vibration. I think it's funny.

[Chris]

Okay. Be funny.

[Lizzie]

Okay. So as some of you may be aware, Saturday Night Live is celebrating their 50th anniversary and they had like a special soiree. Were you aware?

[Chris]

I. I saw like some things about Miley Cyrus. Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Oh, I missed the Miley Cyrus parts. But Tina Fey and Amy Poehler did do a little bit. A cold open, if you will. Perhaps maybe a middle of the show. I'm not entirely sure where this part took place, but they. I laughed out loud at some parts.

[Chris]

Like, they're hilarious.

[Lizzie]

They're very funny.

[Chris]

If anything can make Saturday Night, Saturday Night Live funny, it's the two of them.

[Lizzie]

Oh my God, they're so funny. And they're. The rumor right now is that Lauren is. Is flirting with retirement. And if he were to do so, Tina would step in. But in their cold open, she said Lauren Michaels is not retiring. So maybe that was about addressing those rumors.

[Chris]

Would she want that job? It's a six day a week, 40, like 40 hour a day job.

[Lizzie]

Honestly, she might. She was. I think she was one of the head writers or something for a while. Honest. And she's funny.

[Chris]

Shane was there, I guess.

[Lizzie]

Not funny right now.

[Chris]

Behind the scenes, though, of how that show works, 500 employees, they bring. It's like, it's a Nightmare. It's just a fucking nightmare.

[Lizzie]

But that's where she came up. She loves it.

[Chris]

I know. Well, okay. Anyway, I think a lot of them use it because a lot of the people that are. I mean, she's established.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I think a lot of the people on the cast are getting paid essentially nothing to work a million hours a week.

[Lizzie]

And, yeah, she's not talking about going on the cast. She's talking about running the show.

[Chris]

I understand, but running the show is still brutal. Like, it's. Yeah, you wouldn't have a life outside of it.

[Lizzie]

Okay, so they're doing this whole thing and there's a bunch of celebrities in the audience. My laugh out loud moment was when. Sorry, I can't remember his name now. Love it. Jonathan Lovett. Is that his name? John Lovett? Am I having a stroke? He. They didn't have a seat for him in the audience, so he was across the street at the American Girl Doll Factory having a little tea party with them. He's like, I'm just wondering why I'm over here. Not complaining. Complaints though, like, just very funny. And then it cuts back to, like, there weren't enough seats because Julia Louis Dreyfus needed a seat for her. Her service dog. And then they go, is he really a service dog? And she goes, no, he's blind. I'm servicing him. And then she starts talking to him and describing what's happening in the area because he can't see. She goes, so this blonde woman on the stage and then a slightly older, darker haired woman. And then she goes. And she said something like. And that brooding intensity that you feel to your left is Adam Driver pretending like he's not attracted to me. And then the camera, like, pulls back and you see Adam Driver just sitting there with this, like, smoldering intensity. He just keeps talking. Anyways, that made me laugh out loud. But I brought all of this up because guess who else was in the audience.

[Chris]

Let me guess.

[Lizzie]

Don't look at the docket.

[Chris]

Well, I saw how fabulous she looked on the red carpet. Even if you hate her sare, say it.

[Lizzie]

Say.

[Chris]

Say her name.

[Lizzie]

Say her name.

[Chris]

Blake Lively looks incredible. And you can hate her all you want.

[Lizzie]

Imagine if, like, Death Eater started dropping right now and her name's become like a horror crux.

[Chris]

Hate her all you want, but that can turn a look.

[Lizzie]

A lot of people would differ. That's how a lot of the this Ends with us drama started. But she can turn a look at times.

[Chris]

She looked really good. And a lot of people were saying, her and Ryan on the red carpet looked unbothered. I felt like you could. No, they look like they were smiling, but you could see how. How raining the last five months have.

[Lizzie]

Been shaking in a still photo.

[Chris]

Like, can you imagine the moments before getting out of that car? Just like the pep talk between the two of them.

[Lizzie]

I really don't.

[Chris]

Be grateful for the invite and try to save face.

[Lizzie]

I think they probably asked for the invite as like a publicity stunt to like, be like, we're unbothered. But both of them are in the car, like with rubber bands on their wrists. I mean, licking them.

[Chris]

Like, even how they look so gorgeous. But you can just feel the. The aging behind this scandal that has taken place in their home.

[Lizzie]

So Tina addresses Ryan Reynolds in the audience and she goes, hey, Ryan, like, do you have a question? Or like, how are you doing? And he goes, fine. Why? What have you heard? But he definitely seemed shooketh to the core. Like, he seemed taken down a peg.

[Chris]

I mean, yeah. Can you imagine?

[Lizzie]

No, I literally can't, nor should I ever have to.

[Chris]

You're doing amazing. You're in all of those boy movies.

[Lizzie]

But behind the scenes, you're a monster.

[Chris]

C U N T. Well, we don't know that.

[Lizzie]

No, we know that.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

We know that.

[Chris]

I'm high vibrating over here.

[Lizzie]

I mean, I'm high vibrating too.

[Chris]

Okay, cut to your next headline.

[Lizzie]

What is it? Next headline. Did you know the Kardashians were back on Hulu? Because I didn't.

[Chris]

No. And I love the Kardashians.

[Lizzie]

Multiple episodes are out. Multiple episodes. Did anyone know?

[Chris]

No, because they. And as pretty and beautiful as they are, it's just. They need something real to happen on the show.

[Lizzie]

I watched. Oh, they are really trying. And the fact that we didn't hear about it is like, oh, oh, should I go back? No, it's still not worth watching. But it's. She had Lamar on Chloe and Lamar had a face off. And Lamar is so nervous, he's sweating and mumbling and like dying. And she. And. But they made it a two part episode as if it were like a cliffhanger moment. It's like, you guys, we're all just.

[Chris]

Watching the Traders put it on Patreon.

[Lizzie]

The Traders?

[Chris]

You're not watching the Traders.

[Lizzie]

What is that?

[Chris]

It's in its third season and it's like the most popular reality show on television.

[Lizzie]

Oh, well. Oh, it's on Peacock.

[Chris]

Cool. It's basically mafia, but done in a really fun way.

[Lizzie]

And it's on Peacock.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Which everybody has super popular Everybody's on the peacock, apparently non stop. Do you know why I got peacock for a 30 day free trial? Because the trainers is no to watch Jojo Siwa's movie. And then I canceled it before they charged me. Gotcha.

[Chris]

Okay. Elon Musk welcomed his 13th child five months ago.

[Lizzie]

Crazy. Did you know?

[Chris]

I did not. But I can barely manage having two babies and three friends, so I can't imagine 13 kids.

[Lizzie]

It's crazy. He also there was his daughter had a sassy comment about like, if I had a nickel for every time I found out my dad had a ch, I had a half sibling, I'd have two nickels. And that's not really a lot of nickels, but it is kind of crazy when you think about it. And honestly, that's kind of funny.

[Chris]

Should we all apologize to Nick Cannon?

[Lizzie]

No. Oh, why?

[Chris]

Well, because now Elon's out kitted Nick Cannon.

[Lizzie]

I don't know.

[Chris]

Nick has 12, Elon has 13.

[Lizzie]

I mean, neither of these things are.

[Chris]

Okay, let's get to advice though. Okay. You guys really came through with the submissions in a big way.

[Lizzie]

Good thing.

[Chris]

First of all, I just. This one wasn't an advice submission per se, but it was more on how Lizzie's ruining our lives. And trigger warning for all of you parents, if your kids are watching now I know to tell you close their.

[Lizzie]

Hair or just like tell them not to say what I say.

[Chris]

No, they can hear you.

[Lizzie]

I know, but just does it has everything have to be monkey see, monkey do if you don't want your kids saying C u n t don't watch the show.

[Chris]

No, no, that was not the problem. Oh, just opening your ears. Oh my.5 trigger warning if you have kids watching and they love the holidays, especially in December. Oh, my five year old son loves watching the sip with me every week. With that said, sometimes he will click while I'm not in the room and watch some of and. And watch some of the swearing. Doesn't bother me. But one day I walked into the living room right before Rylan said, quote, well, Lizzie doesn't want Billy believing in the claws, so please just give us little ears some warning, please. And I thought, oh my gosh, in me trying to save Billy's future magic.

[Lizzie]

You ruined somebody else.

[Chris]

My children's magic. I ruined all of your lives. So I will do trigger warnings for this big old Grinch.

[Lizzie]

It honestly sounds like you're the one who needed the trigger warning.

[Chris]

No, you're the one that I have to constantly convince to give your son magic.

[Lizzie]

I Don't know that that's true.

[Chris]

Okay, you don't know, Joy. You're living with that dark, shaded umbrella over you constantly.

[Lizzie]

We are unbothered as we dig through gelatin to find dinosaurs.

[Chris]

I cannot. Whatever. Okay, which do you guys want? Am I the asshole? He was crying on me naked. Perfect, man. I wrote this headline, can't feel his dick. It's too small. What?

[Lizzie]

I think we want to do crying naked. Okay, Wait, there's more.

[Chris]

There's. Okay, we'll start with crying naked. We'll probably put this into next week.

[Lizzie]

He was crying on me naked. That's how the headlines were.

[Chris]

And that was actually her email subject, so I took credit for it. Yes. This is a great story. Okay. Hi, Lizzie, Ryland and Chris. My name is Maddie and I'm a huge fan and I love you all so much.

[Lizzie]

Should we say her name? Well, that's not really her name. We changed her name for her anonymity.

[Chris]

There's lots of. Maddie.

[Lizzie]

Her real name. Stephanie.

[Chris]

Yep. Okay. I want to know what you would do in this situation. So I was talking to this guy for around four months. He was a little weird, but he was hot, so I kind of looked past it. It was long distance, so we only saw each other in person a couple of times. He also didn't have a car, so it was also always me driving to him. Well, one of these times I went to see him, which was an hour drive. We were watching a movie and we started kissing and getting freaky. Then when he was about to hide. Then when he was about to hide his zucchini. But then he suddenly dropped down. Wait, what?

[Lizzie]

I think hide his zucchini is like slang for putting a penis inside a vagina.

[Chris]

Oh, okay. So then when they were about to have sex. See, I'm not hip.

[Lizzie]

I wonder if it's in quotes, because that's something he said to her.

[Chris]

But then he suddenly dropped down, laid on me, and started crying. Just a reminder, we were both butt ass naked. I asked him what the fuck was going on and he just said, quote, sorry, I can't get hard, and he cried on me. I told him to chill out. It's not that big of a deal. He laid on me for a good 15 minutes, crying. I almost threw up. The ick was so bad, once he stopped crying, I caught up. Contrast.

[Lizzie]

We stop laughing and sat there watching.

[Chris]

The rest of the movie in shock. Listen, I'm a man, so it's fine.

[Lizzie]

I'm dead, girl. Are you okay?

[Chris]

On the one hour ride home, it replayed in my head over and over.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God, you have ptsd.

[Chris]

I thought, if anything, I should be crying because maybe I wasn't hot enough for him to get hard. And then I thought, maybe he's gay. Which, listen, I think is logical to think, like, if somebody can't get hard and you're like, oh, my. Like, of course you're going to think, was it me?

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So, like, whatever. Anyways, I ended up telling him I didn't want to talk to him anymore because I lost feelings. What do you guys think? Am I an asshole?

[Lizzie]

No, you are not an asshole. That is awful. Also, did he say hide my zucchini? Like, did he say that? His words were this.

[Chris]

And listen, I feel for somebody if they do have erectile dysfunction, but to put it on somebody in that way, especially that you're newly dating, is a lot. I feel like you should work this out in therapy or this should be a conversation you have with somebody. Somebody before you can't get hard if you know it might be a problem.

[Lizzie]

This is also, like, literally a serial killer origin story.

[Chris]

But to just lay on her crying.

[Lizzie]

That's what I'm saying. 15 minutes hims is not okay.

[Chris]

I also don't think you're the asshole. I think if you guys were in a relationship and he had. I think it's something I've never dealt with. Erectile dysfunction, I'm quite the opposite.

[Lizzie]

Takes this time to plug that.

[Chris]

No, I would say I'm opposite in a horrible way. Like, I could get hard right now if I wanted to, but that would be bad for the workplace.

[Lizzie]

Do it. It's up on Patreon.

[Chris]

Oh, wow.

[Lizzie]

No, you're not an. That's weird as.

[Chris]

It's really weird.

[Lizzie]

It's not okay.

[Chris]

It's really, really weird.

[Lizzie]

Also, like, don't be alone with him.

[Chris]

Well, she ended it.

[Lizzie]

I know. But, like, if he's ever like, can we talk? And we can't talk.

[Chris]

And I think. I think you're allowed to have the ick. Because it's one thing for him to not be able to get hard and just be like, okay, and then pivot and move on. Then you guys can talk about it at a later time time. But to take 15 minutes of your time just crying on top of you.

[Lizzie]

Trapping you in the cry.

[Chris]

What are you supposed to do?

[Lizzie]

That 15 minutes is so long. Like, that's such a long time.

[Chris]

And four months long distance is really like one month.

[Lizzie]

And it's like, get a car, dude.

[Chris]

Yeah. Honestly, we can't look past all these things because he's hot, and I think you are.

[Lizzie]

Is he hot enough?

[Chris]

I'm not saying we can't look past erectile dysfunction. You can, but not in this newly dating.

[Lizzie]

Honestly, the erectile dysfunction has so little to do with it for me that it's like everything else is the red flag. Everything else.

[Chris]

Weird, Weird, weird, weird.

[Lizzie]

Honestly, I care a lot less about you getting hard than I do about you crying on top of me for 15 minutes after I've driven here and you've maybe said things like, imma hide my zucchini in you. Not okay.

[Chris]

Okay, here's what we have for you. Married nine years, sex only once.

[Lizzie]

What?

[Chris]

Almost 30. Crisis.

[Lizzie]

No, where you stop. We're married at nine years and have only had sex once.

[Chris]

This is a person I think we need to talk to. We need some content, context.

[Lizzie]

That's a lot.

[Chris]

Okay. I'm so glad you guys are bringing back this segment. Okay, so I really need advice with my relationship. I've been married to my husband for nine years, and we've only had sex once. I'm not even sure if that one time counts, to be honest. Every time I bring it up, he just laughs it off and tries to change the subject. Or one time I really pressed him on it and he was like, quote, we've already talked about it, so stop bringing it up. End quote. Even though I've never gotten a straight answer from him, I love him. I feel like I deserve to know why we can't do anything sexual.

[Lizzie]

Okay, what's that song on Shane's podcast?

[Chris]

Your husband Might be My husband Gay? Something like that.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, your husband might be gay.

[Chris]

I hate to break it to you like that, but I also think that your approach should be, I need something in addition to our emotional relationship because we are physical beings, and you need to say, like, I am not being fulfilled in this way, so I need. Need an answer. I'm shocked you've been able to go nine years, so you obviously must have a love that is very strong for him. And I don't know anyone. I don't know if anyone could get by on solely a platonic relationship unless you have an arrangement where you're potentially sleeping with someone outside of it. But I think it's a crazy ask for your husband to think it's okay for. For you to not get any. Any from him or any from somewhere else. So I think your approach.

[Lizzie]

But also for me, I don't want to get something from somewhere else. I want to get it from my husband, the person I love. Like, even that might not be satisfying to your needs. This is so. This is a lot.

[Chris]

He's.

[Lizzie]

And you're very patient.

[Chris]

He's either A, asexual.

[Lizzie]

Right.

[Chris]

Or B, possibly gay. Like you were saying, as awful as that is, to just, like, throw in your face. Right. Right now. Because you're asking us for advice.

[Lizzie]

Right. Well, what I wouldn't mind if you were my gay husband that I didn't have sex with. So it's not that awful.

[Chris]

I. Yes, but she needs an answer, and then she needs to be able to come to that conclusion herself. Like, we're being honest with each other.

[Lizzie]

I don't think that you were out of line talking to him. I think you've been incredibly patient. It's been nine years. This is weird.

[Chris]

I would demand at this point. Point, I would say, yeah, we've been married for nine years. I need to know what it is. Because.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Like, with the previous person we were talking about, it would be near impossible to eventually think it's me. Like, he's not sexually attracted to me. He doesn't think I'm beautiful. Like, you want to. Want to grab your significant other.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And I know a lot of people. What are your needs? What do you want? You're entitled to get what you want and what you need from your partner. That's why they become your partner.

[Chris]

And I'm sure that maybe you have a lower threshold hold of want for sexual things if you've gone nine years without. But that doesn't mean you don't need anything at all.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So I wouldn't.

[Lizzie]

Anything at all being answers as to why I would.

[Chris]

Yeah. Definitely ask yourself, well, how much do you need? How much do you want?

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And then go to him and say, well, I needed a direct answer as to why, and this is what I need.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And I. I need to know.

[Lizzie]

I need to know. Know.

[Chris]

But you also have to prepare yourself for the answer.

[Lizzie]

After you talk to him, let us know.

[Chris]

Like, if you guys are gonna have a breakdown and he be. He tells you he's either asexual or gay, you also have to prepare yourself for that. Because that's also life changing. Yeah. It alters your life.

[Lizzie]

And also if. If the answer feels like something you don't want and a chain, a massive change comes, it's probably something you needed too. Because if you're not getting fulfilled, if you're not even allowed to have an open conversation with the person that you're supposed to live, and then eventually Die.

[Chris]

With, then it's not even of an emotional. I mean, it's not as strong of an emotional connection as you. As you'd want to spend the rest of your life with this person. So if he's not willing to open up with you and not willing to tell you the reason and not willing to explore sexual endeavors with you, I think it. It might have happened. You might be having this realization for a reason, like Lizzy's saying.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And, you know, no transition is easy or fun to go through, but usually at the end of it, it's for the better and you feel the best.

[Chris]

Okay, we're going to hit these other ones next episode. But I do want to end on this shout out because this person says, my parents are obsessed with watching the show and the segment they always try. Oh, and the food segment. They always try the food you guys try out. My dad will even join my mom at the end by saying, and that's the sip.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God.

[Chris]

And so I just thought it's so cute because I love when not only you guys are watching the show, but you introduce your parents or people in their 40s or 50s watch their parents are our age. Whatever. I love nothing more than like a mom or a dad watching or if they're even watching with their kids. I just think it's incredible. So they said, would it be possible to give them a shout out for their 26th anniversary? Their names are Jimmy and Angie and it would mean the world for them.

[Lizzie]

And I shout out, jimmy and Angie, happy anniversary.

[Chris]

Shout out. Thank you so much for watching our show and even trying what we tried. That's just incredible. She's he or she says, thank you so much for the time and please continue to keep yapping and food. And keep the food segment going. We love it.

[Lizzie]

Oh, we love you guys.

[Chris]

All right, we'll see you in the car. I'm not sure where we're going yet.

[Lizzie]

So it's a surprise for everyone.

[D]

Excuses. We are all full of them. And I want you to ask yourself, honestly, when's the last time you needed to go to a doctor but you.

[Chris]

Pushed it off because you were too busy or you thought it will just heal on its own or I don't.

[D]

Know which doctor to go to. I think we've all been there. Because booking a doctor appointment can just feel so daunting. But thanks to zocdoc, there's no reason to delay. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care, and more. You can filter specifically for doctors who take your insurance, who are located nearby and are a good fit for any medical need you may have. Once you find the right doctor, you can see their actual appointment openings. Choose a time slot that works for you, and click to instantly book a visit. Appointments made through Zocdoc also happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. And you can't even score same day appointments. I've used ZocDoc on so many occasions, especially when I've tweaked my back. I've gone to a chiropractor, I've gone to a physical therapist using Zocdoc. I love the convenience and it makes it so there isn't an excuse for me to say, maybe it will heal on its own. Maybe I can just wait this one out. So stop putting off those doctor appointments. Go to ZocDoc.com the SIP and find an instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com the Sip Zocdoc.com thesip.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God. We're at the worst place for a street crossing. We have to walk 12 miles out of the way to cross the street.

[Chris]

We're gonna have to jaywalk.

[Lizzie]

No, I'm too fat to jaywalk. I can't get these bones up and running. Are you kidding?

[Chris]

Okay, the one perk is it's free parking on a holiday.

[Lizzie]

The downside is you die jaywalking.

[Chris]

Shane will not allow me to jaywalk. If he's ever with me, he's like, no, we'll walk the extra four miles to not jaywalk.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, we will.

[Chris]

No, I. I won't.

[Lizzie]

Oh, I will. Come along, Chris.

[Chris]

This took the world's longest time to get to. We parked 500 miles away because it's President's Day. If you watch the Patreon, we documented the chaotic journey of Lizzy being impolite. Normally, I'm the one that's kind of an. Look at her.

[Lizzie]

When was I rude? I'm so hungry.

[Chris]

All right, let's go eat. So we're doing the entire footlong collection, which actually looks pretty fantastic. And they're incredible in here. She is so nice. She's hooking us up. They don't have actually sell the nachos officially, but she has all the ingredients for them, so she's her way. She's making them her way for us.

[Lizzie]

I trust her way better than their way.

[Chris]

They have a churro that's Cinnabon. And then they have foot long dippers that look really incredible. Wow. I didn't know how many foot long things they have. Okay, Chris, we're gonna have to have you cheat over this way too. Because I don't want. I'm gonna try to get as less amount of sound as possible. Well, no, let's just all cheat. The chairs. You get. Scoot closer to me, Elizabeth. Wow. Oh, a subway. Some girls had their doubts.

[Lizzie]

Some girls just are starving.

[Chris]

Both of them are like, can we go to sleep?

[Lizzie]

How's this copywritten music gonna play?

[Chris]

That's why I'm trying to get the directional mic away from the speaker. That's why we're sitting like this.

[Lizzie]

You think this is that's enough?

[Chris]

I hope so.

[Lizzie]

Fingers crossed. Or we could do this in the bathroom.

[Chris]

What happened in there?

[Lizzie]

Nothing that I am aware of, but it smells like death.

[Chris]

Oh, you should have brought some spritz. Do you bring spritz? I mean, normally I bring spritz right.

[Lizzie]

Now and you just didn't offer it to me before I went into a public place.

[Chris]

My spritz is scented hand sanitizer, but I forgot it because the parking debacle was too much. Also, their artwork is kind of incredible.

[Ryland]

I was saying this is one of the like cuter subways I've been in. Yes.

[Chris]

The last time we filmed in a subway was not a good experience.

[Lizzie]

It wasn't because of the subway though. I think it was because of the us.

[Chris]

We were actually acting. Yeah, we were.

[Lizzie]

We were out of pocket.

[Chris]

We were out of. Which is crazy.

[Lizzie]

You wouldn't expect it from some civilized ladies as we. No, but we do. We do be acting crazy.

[Chris]

I was gonna get some pictures and be roll of their artwork. A halopid pino dancer. A meatball galaxy.

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris]

And a bread switchblade.

[Lizzie]

I think it's like an everything tool.

[Chris]

Yeah. Or like a pocket knife.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

We'll be back when the food arrives.

[Ryland]

Going to grab some. Can I grab someone here?

[Chris]

I love this woman. She is hooking us up in the biggest way.

[Lizzie]

I want her to babysit me.

[Chris]

You don't want to be close to us?

[Lizzie]

No, I have to. I can't get in. So next are your dippers and your nachos.

[Ryland]

Okay, thank you.

[Chris]

Thank you so much.

[Lizzie]

The nachos, are they chicken? Are they steak?

[Chris]

What do you guys want? What do you think's Better here.

[Lizzie]

Me, personally, I tweak my own, but I like the steak ones.

[Chris]

Let's do it.

[Lizzie]

We'll do the steak.

[Chris]

I was gonna get a little bit of the food in that one. Oh, just because this is such a clear angle already.

[Ryland]

That's a good idea.

[Chris]

All right, let's see what's first. Well, we have to do the cookie last, right? Oh, well, let's hold some things up. The thumbnail, I guess.

[Lizzie]

Wow.

[Chris]

Oh, the tr.

[Ryland]

Whoa.

[Chris]

Whoa. Okay, get close.

[Lizzie]

Is that enough?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Wow.

[Chris]

The. Okay. I think we should start with the pretzels and more of, like, a meal. I mean, did you give them a good view of that pretzel?

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryland]

These look really good, actually.

[Lizzie]

This does look the way I'm salivating.

[Chris]

I do think there could be a cheese and cheese in it, but images.

[Lizzie]

Don'T count when it's for work or.

[Chris]

When the employees are incredible.

[Ryland]

It's warm.

[Chris]

It's perfect because the cheese is cold. Interesting.

[Lizzie]

Eight bucks.

[Chris]

Wow. It actually really does.

[Lizzie]

There's truly nothing wrong with it.

[Ryland]

It's delicious, though. The texture is great. It's warm. It's fluffy.

[Chris]

It's really good for my memory. It's better than a mall pretzel. Yeah. Do you disagree?

[Lizzie]

No.

[Chris]

I love this.

[Lizzie]

No, I do disagree. Wetzel pretzel crocks really hard.

[Chris]

Oh, really?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. You're wrong.

[Chris]

Okay. But you're so cute. I like the salt on it a lot too.

[Ryland]

This is delicious. And it looks so cute.

[Chris]

Yeah, like the accordion version.

[Lizzie]

Looks like a little bug.

[Chris]

A little caterpillar. M. Oh. Oh, look at that.

[Lizzie]

Look at it.

[Chris]

It's so warm. It feels like.

[Ryland]

Is it tuna?

[Chris]

This would be so good on, like, a really cold, rainy day.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. I'm so hungry.

[Ryland]

Can I take one more piece?

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, have as much as you want. Well, we're going to have these for dates. Well, should we just grab the cookie while we're waiting for the nachos?

[Lizzie]

There's also a turtle.

[Chris]

Oh, that's here. Are you guys big churro girls? Then why don't you start? Oh, pull her out. Let's see.

[Lizzie]

Pull her all the way out. Unhide that zucchini.

[Chris]

Sometimes I feel like with churros, you just get. I don't. I'm not the biggest churro girl.

[Lizzie]

Me neither.

[Chris]

It's just like. I don't know.

[Lizzie]

This is a preferred churro for me, though, though. In a world where I don't give a. About a churro, I. I care about this one.

[Chris]

It's still too much cinnamon. Sugar for me. Oh, my gosh. I do love cinnamon sugar toast, though. When I was a kid, you put butter, the cinnamon sugar.

[Lizzie]

I want to dip that in the cheese.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, yeah. What do you think, Chris?

[Ryland]

Honestly, someone's not right about it for me.

[Chris]

I like it better than Disneylands. Disneylands are too hard for me.

[Ryland]

Disneylands aren't great. They just have. Have, like, really weird flavors that normal places don't have. That's the excitement of theirs, but theirs aren't great.

[Chris]

This is.

[Ryland]

I don't know. It's a little bland and a little.

[Chris]

Like, there was so much sugar that I can't. It's all I could taste.

[Ryland]

It's okay.

[Chris]

I'd prefer a fourth of the topping, and then I would eat the whole thing.

[Ryland]

The best churros are, like, from just some food vendor. If you find someone who's making on the street, that's, like, where you want to get.

[Chris]

There. Is there a knife? Oh, I guess we just have spoons. We can spoon the cookies.

[Ryland]

Thank you.

[Chris]

I like an edge of a cookie.

[Ryland]

This looks good.

[Lizzie]

I had a second bite of the churro, and I wish I hadn't.

[Chris]

See, I'm not a noodle, but I'm not into any churro ever.

[Lizzie]

Like, I picked up someone's discarded churro bite because I'm starving and I regret it.

[Chris]

I will say Subway does. Does have an iconic chocolate chip cookie. Or is that just childhood nostalgia?

[Ryland]

I love the. What's the one with the. Like, it has red in it. Like, red and white.

[Chris]

Oh, macadamia.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, maybe, Maybe.

[Ryland]

But that one, a strawberry chick is. I've been.

[Chris]

Oh, I never have that.

[Lizzie]

Is it cranberries? They're chocolate chip and white chocolate, baby.

[Chris]

Their chocolate chip cookies are just so nostalgic to me, but I think this one's cold. This is. This is warm.

[Ryland]

Look at it. Look at it. I love the texture.

[Chris]

It's okay.

[Lizzie]

I'm not into it.

[Chris]

I think.

[Lizzie]

I'm just not into sweets when I'm starving.

[Chris]

Right. Let me try a piece. That isn't an edge, I think. Right. I like it. I like my. It's a little too thick for me. I like their. Their classic.

[Lizzie]

Chuck.

[Chris]

Chocolate chip cookies are thin, and I think cold, and I really love those. So this doesn't beat that for me.

[Lizzie]

I do keep going back to the pretzel.

[Chris]

The pretzel's good.

[Ryland]

I think I like this, like, more than you guys. I kind of like it.

[Chris]

It has the same flavor profile. Like, I can. I can tell it's the same ingredients as their thin one. Right. But I prefer the thin one.

[Lizzie]

Right.

[Chris]

Texture wise.

[Lizzie]

Take it home. Zucchini in.

[Chris]

Now this Oreo one. Are you kidding? Kidding me. A little cream inside, if I remember correct.

[Lizzie]

These are delicioso.

[Chris]

You've had one of these, I think.

[Lizzie]

I used to, like, really enjoy.

[Chris]

Oh, this is a marshmallow.

[Lizzie]

Whoa.

[Chris]

That's not cream. I mean, it stretches like it's marshmallow. Are you guys gonna take some out?

[Ryland]

Do you want an egg?

[Chris]

An egg or an edge? No, you can have the edge, Chris.

[Ryland]

Thank you.

[Lizzie]

Damn, it does stretch like a marshmallow.

[Ryland]

This is fun, though. Like, the experience of eating me.

[Chris]

It is. Wow.

[Ryland]

Oh, look. Oh.

[Lizzie]

Here's to you, Jimmy and Angie.

[Chris]

I like this one better. I feel like this one's just kind of like a warm hug to me.

[Lizzie]

Well, it is warm, huh?

[Chris]

But I feel like it's like caressing me.

[Lizzie]

You level for these and shrimp thing?

[Chris]

I love cookies and cream everything.

[Ryland]

I like this one a lot. I just like a warm, like, fluffy, soft cookie is my favorite thing in the world. I don't know.

[Lizzie]

This is warm and fluffy and soft.

[Chris]

And it has a flavor profile I'm obsessed with.

[Lizzie]

It's a little less sweet than the other one. What do you like for your dippers?

[Chris]

Whatever you like.

[Lizzie]

For the pepperoni, I do marinara. For the other two, I do chipotle. That's cool.

[Chris]

Perfect.

[Lizzie]

Thank you.

[Chris]

Go here. I'll move these to the back and we'll bring those to the front.

[Lizzie]

Hell, yeah. That's the pep.

[Chris]

So what are these?

[Lizzie]

These are dippers, okay? Not to be confused with chuggers or sippers.

[Chris]

Wow. I actually really like the cookies in cream one. It is so fun. I mean, they're famous for their foot long, so. Foot long cookies? Are you kidding me?

[Lizzie]

No, it's real. No joking.

[Chris]

It's just so. It's like, how did they not. How far. How many years are we into Subway? I feel like it's.

[Ryland]

Whoever thought of it's a genius.

[Chris]

Yeah. Thank you so much. Wow. This one with the cheese. Perfect. Oh, wow. We ordered a lot of.

[Lizzie]

Come on. Come on, you little dipper.

[Chris]

Okay, I'm just. Pull. I'm already having apple one. I don't know what it is. This one looks like just cheese.

[Lizzie]

I think this one's champkin. That's okay. There's two of all of them.

[Ryland]

Oh, okay.

[Chris]

All right. I'm going for the cheese.

[Ryland]

I got first by itself.

[Chris]

What? Okay. Yeah. Oh, hot.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I wouldn't get it again.

[Lizzie]

What Is it.

[Chris]

It's just cheese and a lot of bread.

[Ryland]

It's like a simple quesadilla.

[Chris]

I'd go to Taco Bell if I want cheese in a. In a tortilla. It's not bad.

[Ryland]

I didn't bite this. I ripped it for the.

[Chris]

What's this one?

[Lizzie]

Chicken.

[Chris]

Chicken. What are you pretty good at?

[Lizzie]

Chipolts.

[Chris]

Okay. I did a lot of chipotle sauce.

[Ryland]

Chipotle sauce adds a lot.

[Chris]

Yeah. I like the chicken one.

[Lizzie]

I'm trying to double dip without touching my mouth part in it.

[Chris]

Oh, wow. Very warm. Very delicious. Is this the chicken and what else is there? So there's cheese, chicken, and p. Pepperoni. Oh, I feel like I'm gonna like pepperoni the best.

[Ryland]

I like them.

[Chris]

I think they're good.

[Ryland]

They're not a 10 out of 10.

[Chris]

No. But I probably wouldn't order the cheese again, but I would order the chicken ones. Yeah. I don't know why the cheese one fell.

[Lizzie]

Oh, wait. We lost our food cam.

[Chris]

No, we didn't.

[Lizzie]

Oh.

[Chris]

I put it back on to us because they've seen. Oops. That's too much now. Now it's two angles on us. Okay, let me see. Is this. Oh, that's pepperoni. Wow. How can you do pepperoni wrong?

[Lizzie]

You really can't.

[Chris]

You know what?

[Ryland]

I wish the. The actual, like, bread. I don't know what kind of bread this is, but flatbread, it's like a. I think a little too thick.

[Chris]

I agree. You know, or we just cut off, like. Yeah, if you cut off one of the rolls. But look at this cheese. Goozing.

[Lizzie]

Goozing.

[Chris]

I mean, look at that.

[Lizzie]

Good word.

[Chris]

It really is. I think it's the. Oh, I won't double them. I'll go backwards. Wow.

[Lizzie]

Like a little pizza.

[Chris]

The pepperoni is the best.

[Lizzie]

I might have liked the chicken a little bit more.

[Chris]

Wow. The way that. That is steaming.

[Lizzie]

Little kid over here just pulling her shorts up and putting her hands together.

[Chris]

Heidi's kids, too.

[Lizzie]

No, Heidi has no girls. Boy, mom like us.

[Chris]

Kylie has no kids. Yeah.

[Lizzie]

I'm sorry. I'm starving.

[Chris]

You're eating.

[Lizzie]

I know. It's crazy.

[Chris]

That's how it works. Okay. Wow.

[Ryland]

This reminds me of being, like, a kid eating, like, Hot Pockets for some reason.

[Lizzie]

Yes. One time I got really drunk, and I really wanted a Hot Pocket, and we were at my friend's house, and I passed out, and when I woke up, I had a Hot Pocket wrap around my chest and a bunch of crumbs, and I was like, oh, my God. I Had a Hot Pocket. No, they were with me. I did not have a Hot Pocket.

[Chris]

They placed them on you.

[Lizzie]

They played me like that. Can you.

[Chris]

I bet you got him back putting dicks on their faces.

[Lizzie]

No, I was always the one passing out.

[Chris]

Oh, dark.

[Lizzie]

I know.

[Chris]

That's why she had to stop.

[Ryland]

Oh. Oh, my God.

[Chris]

Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Put that in your mouth. Oh, save that for Patreon.

[Ryland]

Oh, my God.

[Chris]

Wow. That is beautiful. What is this? Oh, pepperoni. I really liked the pepperoni. I agree with Chris. I feel like you have to take away some of the bread.

[Ryland]

This one is way better than the other cheese one.

[Chris]

Interesting.

[Ryland]

It's, like, way more stuffed.

[Chris]

It's more dense.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I haven't had the cheese one yet.

[Ryland]

Oh, here.

[Lizzie]

Oh, here. He pulls off the sexy cheese bowl. No, it's okay. I'll take this for you.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Thank you, though.

[Chris]

Wow. I like it when I take a layer of bread off. I'm really enjoy.

[Ryland]

Why was this one so much better than the first?

[Chris]

I don't know. Wow. Wow.

[Ryland]

Still, this is a good time.

[Chris]

How do you feel? I don't even feel like I'm having a Subway experience.

[Lizzie]

I don't even feel like I'm at work right now.

[Chris]

I can't wait to get some nachos. Wow. I don't need more cookie. Right?

[Ryland]

Definitely get the chipotle.

[Chris]

The chipotle is a game changer.

[Lizzie]

I was sus on the chipotle, but I'm glad we listened to her.

[Chris]

Oh, wow. The cookies are. It's good. I like it.

[Lizzie]

Wouldn't that piece.

[Chris]

This is. I don't know. It doesn't look great.

[Lizzie]

It doesn't look great. I think it's chicken.

[Chris]

Wow. The chipotle sauce does make it.

[Lizzie]

It really does.

[Chris]

Do they put that on salads previously or is that new?

[Lizzie]

They probably put on the chipotle Chicken sandwiches are coming. Everyone be cool.

[Ryland]

Be cool.

[Chris]

Everyone chill. Act chill. She did this as a favor for us.

[Lizzie]

This is not on the recipe for the hostels, but this with a little bit of chipotle. Those look incredible.

[Chris]

Oh, my gosh. Thank you.

[Lizzie]

Thank you.

[Chris]

Wow. She really. Attention to detail. Wow. The way they smell with Doritos as the base.

[Lizzie]

Damn.

[Chris]

Wow. And she really cared for us in the way she placed the cheese on each piece of chips.

[Lizzie]

When they drop, they're not going to look like that. They're going to be in, like, a long form.

[Chris]

Right. She made this for us especially because the branding's not out yet. It look.

[Ryland]

That looks great.

[Chris]

Wow. I'm trying to find the right piece. Everyone dig in. Go for it. I love a jalapeno.

[Lizzie]

I'm dipping it in cheese.

[Ryland]

Go for it. But I'm gonna.

[Chris]

Oh, the jalapeno. Wow. I've never thought to make nachos with Doritos.

[Lizzie]

I have.

[Chris]

I have not.

[Lizzie]

It's like I'm 15 snatched in at the pool. The little stones.

[Chris]

This is good. This is so incredible.

[Ryland]

This might be my favorite thing.

[Lizzie]

It's not gonna feel good later.

[Chris]

The flavor of the Doritos, though, mixed with the jalapenos and the cheese. Oh.

[Ryland]

Oh, my God. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was, like, way more.

[Lizzie]

This is.

[Chris]

Thank you.

[Ryland]

Thank you.

[Chris]

So good.

[Lizzie]

That's my way.

[Chris]

That's why it's so ridiculous.

[Lizzie]

And you know what? Let me tell you the other way. Like what I do after, too. We used to have buffalo. I used to put buffalo. They just continued buffalo. So the next best is sriracha, but I don't know how you felt about spice, so I, I.

[Chris]

This is perfect.

[Lizzie]

Went down with the Chipotle.

[Chris]

Thank you.

[Ryland]

Wow. When it comes out, is it going to be as good as hers?

[Lizzie]

Probably not.

[Chris]

Probably not.

[Ryland]

Hers is so good.

[Lizzie]

And honestly, she should charge them more for what she does.

[Chris]

She goes, right, we're a. We're on Ventura and Dodo. Basically, give her a raise, but don't.

[Lizzie]

Go to the target opposite her.

[Ryland]

I got harassed there.

[Chris]

Yes. And you got assaulted. And I was like, this is just. Just Chris's look. You know, Lizzy and I went there this weekend. It was awful.

[Ryland]

Awful.

[Chris]

I mean, well, Lizzy's baby got slapped. Got slapped by another baby. Yeah. Like a toddler walked up to. And the mom was just like, we don't do that. But didn't stop.

[Lizzie]

She was like, we. We be soft with the baby. And started going to touch my baby. And I wanted to be like, don't touch my baby. Back the off my baby.

[Chris]

And just the vibe in there was awful.

[Lizzie]

Everyone's teeth looked like they were wearing yellow sweaters.

[Chris]

It felt like an end of the world experience on a normal day.

[Lizzie]

Why do you go there? We were like, my only behavior. No, it's just the only.

[Chris]

You have to drive 20 minutes out of your way to go to us. Like, you want to go to Target. It's so far.

[Ryland]

Everything else is so far.

[Chris]

And then all the. Where's that?

[Ryland]

I don't even remember.

[Chris]

That is. It's all the way by the 405.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

I hate going that tr me too.

[Lizzie]

It's way worth it. Maybe I should or just never go to Target again. Because honestly, I left there and I was like, I'm never going to Target again.

[Ryland]

Or I can go to the one at the mall.

[Lizzie]

And I love Target.

[Chris]

The mall is just two stories, which I have a problem with, but it is safer.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, this one was awful. We walked in and immediately someone was like, do you know what time they close?

[Chris]

And we were like, no, but it's 2pm so probably not soon.

[Ryland]

I literally thought the guy may attack me. Like, he was so scared.

[Chris]

There's no reason to go there.

[Lizzie]

It smelled like they were smoking weed in the store.

[Chris]

I won't be back. And you went to Club Chub?

[Ryland]

Oh, yes.

[Chris]

I finally went.

[Ryland]

It's been like, what, a year.

[Lizzie]

Did you get pregnant?

[Ryland]

No.

[Chris]

Did the owner get special treatment?

[Lizzie]

Of course.

[Ryland]

No, I. Okay. I was so excited because, like, this had been building in my mind for so long now. And like, I was like, what do I expect?

[Chris]

I'm nervous.

[Ryland]

The owner had been really nervous to reach out to me. I was nervous to meet him. And like, I ended up meeting like random people I'd spoken to on the Internet years ago and had never met. Like, I. I like, knew people there and I was like, what is happening? There's like, comedian I worked with one time. Like, just random people. So that was crazy. And then I met the owner and he was the sweetest human on earth and introduced me to one of the dancers named Salem. Salem, who's like, on all the posters. He's like the icon. And it was so fun and everyone there was so sweet. It was like, genuinely one of, like the most loving, sweet room of people I've ever been in.

[Lizzie]

Did you bring your ch?

[Ryland]

Yes, I brought like, my ch.

[Chris]

Really? Yeah.

[Ryland]

And he was like, I don't know. But then we went in. He was like, that's a great time. Everyone in there is really nice. He loved it. So it was like, couldn't recommend more.

[Chris]

Something I might have to experience once for myself.

[Ryland]

They're really sweet there.

[Chris]

Is it downtown though?

[Ryland]

It is getting there.

[Chris]

I will never experience it. Wow. I'm glad you finally made it.

[Ryland]

Yeah, it was really fun. I would go back.

[Chris]

How many penises did you see?

[Ryland]

None. But there were moments where in a corner stuff was happening that I was.

[Chris]

Like, what kind of stuff?

[Ryland]

I don't feel like I should look in that direction.

[Chris]

I was that person once in my 20s.

[Ryland]

Maybe, there was like a dude putting hands and pants and like, you.

[Chris]

Know, things I did the Club with gay guys. Have you been to West Hollywood? Yeah, I'm probably, like, probably similar antics. Just boys going crazy.

[Lizzie]

Good for you boys. Have a good time out there, boys.

[Chris]

Oh, the boys always have a good time. I mean, gay boys at gay bars. Yeah, they do, But I'm like, I.

[Ryland]

Get very shy at bars, and I'm.

[Chris]

Like, oh, do I?

[Ryland]

I don't know if I should be here. I'm not sure.

[Lizzie]

You're not getting Andes.

[Chris]

I'd be drunk to go to a bar. I don't anymore, but when I was early.

[Ryland]

But as anxious as I am, I had a really good time. Like, it's just, like, it's a nice. Nice environment.

[Chris]

Wow. Okay. Well, I'm going to chase my last bite with a piece of the cookie.

[Ryland]

I like the cookie the more that I have it. I'm really into this.

[Lizzie]

Are you having more cookies?

[Chris]

Yeah, who wouldn't?

[Lizzie]

That's chocolate.

[Ryland]

I know. I'm very sure.

[Lizzie]

Aren't sweets bad for your G too?

[Chris]

Not.

[Ryland]

I mean, not all, but chocolate is not.

[Lizzie]

When I had acid reflux in pregnancy, sweets really kicked it off.

[Chris]

All of them. Yeah. That's sugar, period. Wow. I love the cookies and cream one. Okay, I'm gonna go pay for this.

[Lizzie]

Are we gonna get more nachos or what's the deal?

[Chris]

Should we get one more order?

[Lizzie]

No, that's crazy. Let's go get real food.

[Chris]

You want to go get real food after this? Okay. We'll go to Sweet Creek. Whatever.

[Lizzie]

Thank you.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Or I could just eat this flatbread.

[Chris]

Well, you guys, the fun continues over on Patreon. We started on our way here. We're going to continue on our way back home. Home. And it's a great time. The link will be in the description section below. It's. There's also going to be a Patreon exclusive vlog this week, and whenever Lizzy finishes editing the other one, there will be a second following shortly. And we'll see you here Next Wednesday on YouTube. We love you very much. Goodbye. And that's the sit.

[Lizzie]

That's a little sneak peek at the chugging. I don't know where it came from. It's probably all the.