Exposing Our Biggest Secrets… with Shane, Morgan, and My Mom

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon
Episode: Exposing Our Biggest Secrets… with Shane, Morgan, and My Mom
Release Date: May 28, 2025

In this engaging episode of "The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon," host Ryland Adams and co-host Lizze Gordon delve deep into personal revelations, family dynamics, and lighthearted banter with their guests: Shane, Morgan, and Lizzie's mother, Vicki. The episode, aptly titled "Exposing Our Biggest Secrets… with Shane, Morgan, and My Mom," promises uncensored conversations that touch on pregnancy announcements, the challenges of parenthood, and the quirks of family life.

---

1. Pregnancy Announcements and Family Reactions

The episode kicks off with Lizzie breaking the news about her pregnancy. Initially, she humorously announces being pregnant with twins, only to reveal at [08:04] that it's actually just one baby:

Lizzie ([08:04]): "I'm not pregnant with twins. Oh, my God. It's just the one, just one little embryo."

Morgan follows suit with her own pregnancy announcement, sharing the journey and family interactions around it. The duo discusses the challenges of managing life with a new baby on the way, including the physical strains and the humorous side of family support.

Morgan ([09:00]): "I've been trying sleep gummies. I've been trying different things to put myself to sleep. Sleep at night at home, I can only sleep until, like, 5:30 am Max, because I'm just up all night."

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2. Health Check Challenges: Navigating Pregnancy Symptoms

The conversation shifts to the physical aspects of pregnancy. Lizzie and Morgan open up about their health checks and the difficulties they've faced, such as dealing with a tongue tie in their baby, which affects breastfeeding.

Morgan ([14:31]): "And it sucks for breastfeeding because when they latch, their tongues lap kind of like a dog's. It's like a piece of thin skin slicing your nipple over and over."

They candidly discuss the impact of these health issues on their daily lives, highlighting both the struggles and the resilience required during pregnancy.

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3. Launching Patreon and "Seriously, Period" Podcast

Midway through the episode, Morgan announces the launch of her Patreon, encouraging listeners to support her content:

Morgan ([37:21]): "I announced my vlog before I'd filmed it, and if I hadn't announced it, I never would have filmed it."

This segues into Chris introducing his own Patreon project, "Seriously, Period," a podcast aimed at sharing both the positive and negative aspects of life. The idea is to create a space where honest conversations can flourish, with trial episodes and community feedback shaping the show's direction.

Chris ([38:15]): "So the concept is... a training wheel podcast called Seriously, Period."

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4. The Mishap: "Cake Gate"

A humorous incident occurs when the family attempts to celebrate their new podcast with a cake. Due to an oversight, the cake burns in the oven, leading to the infamous "Cake Gate."

Lizzie ([45:00]): "We put the cake safely in the oven and we're like, we're gonna consume this tomorrow night. It's gonna be a full-blown party. It's gonna be incredible... And then we find it melted and disintegrated."

This lighthearted mishap becomes a running joke throughout the episode, symbolizing the unpredictable nature of their family adventures.

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5. Family Outings: Disneyland and USC Graduation

The episode features anecdotes from family outings, particularly a trip to Disneyland and the USC graduation ceremony. Shane shares a heartwarming story about visiting Disney with a friend's child, emphasizing the joy and innocence of such experiences.

Shane ([53:15]): "It was like a beautiful, perfect Disney day... Her daughter was so excited to see it for the first time."

Conversely, the logistics and frustrations of attending the USC graduation in downtown LA are humorously critiqued by Morgan, highlighting the challenges of navigating large events while pregnant.

Morgan ([54:50]): "Have you seen her? She was like meghan marker talks to her rich friend about how to pretend like she's not rich..."

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6. Internal Family Dynamics and Humor

Throughout the episode, playful tensions and humorous exchanges surface among family members. Vicki, Lizzie's mother, engages in light-hearted teasing and banter, especially concerning Chris and his interactions with the family's ice cream stash.

Vicki ([69:03]): "Stay away from my mom."

Additionally, discussions about relationships and the elusive search for a "rich husband" add another layer of humor and relatability to the conversation.

Lizzie ([31:11]): "It's not the most fair world. Not all of us get the opportunity to be the princess."

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7. Hot Topics and Celebrity Gossip

The hosts touch upon current celebrity news, including Meghan Markle's show and her public persona. They express opinions on how celebrities manage their image and personal lives in the public eye.

Morgan ([25:20]): "People are hyperclipping her with love from Megan. I think it's so fucking funny."

The discussion also veers into YouTube dynamics, referencing Aspen Ovard and the challenges of maintaining authentic relationships amidst public scrutiny.

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8. Closing Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode nears its end, Lizzie emphasizes the importance of supporting each other's ventures, whether it's Morgan's Patreon or Chris's new podcast. The family looks forward to future episodes filled with more secrets, laughs, and heartfelt moments.

Lizzie ([72:55]): "She's been screaming she's pregnant with twins for so long. I was like, even if I mess up, it's fine."

The episode concludes with a blend of laughter, teasing, and affirmations of family bonds, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next installment.

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Notable Quotes:

• Lizzie ([08:04]): "I'm not pregnant with twins. Oh, my God. It's just the one, just one little embryo."
• Morgan ([14:31]): "And it sucks for breastfeeding because when they latch, their tongues lap kind of like a dog's."
• Chris ([38:15]): "So the concept is... a training wheel podcast called Seriously, Period."
• Lizzie ([45:00]): "We put the cake safely in the oven and we're like, we're gonna consume this tomorrow night. It's gonna be a full-blown party."
• Shane ([53:15]): "It was like a beautiful, perfect Disney day... Her daughter was so excited to see it for the first time."
• Morgan ([69:03]): "Stay away from my mom."

---

Conclusion:

This episode of "The Sip" masterfully balances heartfelt revelations with comedic storytelling, offering listeners an intimate glimpse into the lives of Ryland, Lizzy, and their colorful family. From pregnancy announcements to the chaos of family gatherings, the episode encapsulates the essence of what makes "The Sip" a beloved space for candid and entertaining conversations.

Transcript

[Lizzie]

Break the news.

[Morgan]

Ugh. I'm not pregnant with twins.

[Lizzie]

Turns out it's just the one.

[Morgan]

It's just the one. Just one little embryo.

[Lizzie]

If my family wasn't here, I'd pull it out for Chris.

[Vicki]

Yeah, no, I'm feeling things.

[Lizzie]

Morgan also has a huge announcement.

[Vicki]

Rylan told me not to.

[Lizzie]

Why were you at the hospital this morning?

[Morgan]

She's dropping names.

[Lizzie]

She's dropping names?

[Chris]

No, I think Catherine would love. Seriously, it's always the contractor's son for me.

[Lizzie]

Always.

[Morgan]

I can't do laundry anymore either. I just keep ordering new big shirts off Amazon. Three days later.

[Lizzie]

Elizabeth.

[Ryland]

I'm thinking this is how Katy Perry felt before she went up to space.

[Shane]

B speed one like one B mark.

[Lizzie]

You really think, like, this podcast could be the end of you? Because I'm sure that's what you think before you go to space. Like, this is it. This is how much nerve anxiety ridden the sip official podcast is for you.

[Ryland]

It's just funny.

[Chris]

Yeah. Mom and I were having a deep conversation this morning about how maybe you should revisit the senior sister labor laws.

[Lizzie]

Hold on. Wait. Let Chris slate senior sister. All right. Oh, hold on. Let Chris put. Get situated. This was a feet and a half for our Christopher. I mean, this is really. We're, like, bordering on the SDP set up over here right now.

[Chris]

I mean.

[Morgan]

Yeah. How many cameras do we have rolling? 3.

[Lizzie]

A lot. But this is a small space.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

And there's a lot tucked into here.

[Morgan]

It's elegant, what's been happening in here.

[Lizzie]

And I did think we were going to be those cool girls with handheld mics. I thought I was, like, entering my Emma Chamberlain era.

[Morgan]

Oh, she just uses a mic.

[Lizzie]

She just holds that mic back. And we tested it, and it's like, we don't know how to work those mics yet. We're not cool enough for those mics just yet. So then I had to be like, revert, revert back to the old that we know how to do.

[Morgan]

Uno, reverse.

[Lizzie]

So here we've been for 40 minutes trying to set up this podcast while our beautiful guests have just been waiting in the wings. Hello. Hello, everybody. Morgan's here. Vicki's here. Thanks for joining.

[Morgan]

Hey, thanks for having us.

[Lizzie]

And so what were you worried about? What was this deep conversation before you got?

[Chris]

None of what I said?

[Lizzie]

No.

[Chris]

Oh, right. I was telling you that mom and I were having a deep conversation this morning about how maybe you should revisit the senior and sister labor laws because.

[Morgan]

Oh, senior ancestor.

[Chris]

Yeah, got it.

[Lizzie]

Because what do we get out of work.

[Chris]

Usually we agree to do it because we're like, oh, we'll get a sweet little treat after. You know, like, there's something in it for us.

[Ryland]

Yeah, we're not.

[Lizzie]

Well, yeah, I guess I didn't tell them the lowdown because I got in and I was like, oh, Chris is ready for us. And Morgan's like, well, what are you. You guys aren't going to the shed? I said, no, we're all going to the shed.

[Morgan]

We're all going.

[Lizzie]

We're all going to the shed. And she's like, you're not gonna eat. And I was like, lizzy and I are gonna die if we have to eat it. We need a break from eating. Is essentially what's your.

[Chris]

Morgan's metabolism works for a reason. And you guys, you both are little skinny minis. I know your metabolism is booming over there.

[Morgan]

I can't eat anything right now. Everything is like, well, no.

[Lizzie]

Morgan had suggested In N Out, which.

[Morgan]

I know, which is what I. Is the only thing I can eat right now.

[Lizzie]

Living off of. Yeah.

[Chris]

For weeks I've been dying for an In N Out. Strawberry shake.

[Lizzie]

Shake, Whatever. We can still go to in and Out.

[Morgan]

Get the girl strawberry shake.

[Lizzie]

We can.

[Shane]

Sorry.

[Lizzie]

And Chris is here with the camera because we're doing angles. He has an angle. Hello.

[Chris]

Hello, Christopher.

[Shane]

This is crazy. This does feel like the Shane Vodcast. I'm, like, checking the monitor.

[Lizzie]

It's a stressful setup out here. Why were you at the hospital this morning?

[Shane]

I wasn't at the hospital.

[Lizzie]

Oh. You said you had an appointment, and I figured, what else could Chris possibly have an appointment for?

[Morgan]

Oh, my Lord.

[Lizzie]

Are you kidding me? You just had, like, a fun appointment. Was it a dick appointment?

[Shane]

No, it was a therapy appointment. And I couldn't cancel another because I'd lose my therapist under Kaiser.

[Chris]

Wait, if you cancel enough, they'll drop you?

[Shane]

Yeah, Kaiser's really strict. If you miss a few, there's like $100 late fee or. No, if you miss an appointment, there's $100 fee, cancellation fee, and then if you miss too many, they just, like, drop you.

[Morgan]

Is it the rula?

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Lizzie]

What?

[Morgan]

I don't know. That's who Kaiser sent me through.

[Lizzie]

Okay, so what were you guys dreaming about? They can't shut up about their dreams this morning?

[Chris]

Oh, well, no. Mom and I. I remember being half awake and talking to mom in the middle of the night, but I don't remember what we were talking about. Do you?

[Ryland]

Well, you've been My roommate for a week and a half. And you woke up and you said.

[Morgan]

Mom, I love you.

[Ryland]

When I wake up and you're not here, I'm devastated.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, because I'll wake up and she'll already be gone. And I'm like, wait, I went to sleep with her here? When did she weasel her way out?

[Morgan]

Oh, no. You're trapped in quiet sleeping again.

[Chris]

She's quiet as a mouse. I am. You guys, I never sleep through the night. I tell everyone all the time. I've been trying sleep gummies. I've been trying different things to put myself to sleep. Sleep at night at home, I can only sleep until, like, 5:30am Max, because I'm just up all night. Like, I'm gonna die here.

[Lizzie]

It is scary to be in a house alone. Like, if Shane proposes the idea of going out of town, which he never does, but in the few times that has happened, I'm like, no, I need a friend to spend the night or I'm leaving the house, too. It's a no for me.

[Morgan]

One time, Rylan came back here while he was living in Colorado, and instead of staying at my house, we both stayed here, and it wasn't a choice. And honestly, I was scared, too, though. Girl, this is a scary place to stay.

[Chris]

Oh, my God. Time Trinity and I stayed at Ryan and Shane's house here by ourselves. And we were upstairs sleeping in their room, watching a little movie, and we hear back door. And we were like, we're gonna die. We're gonna die. No, this house is spooky wookie. But, yeah, my house is spooky wookie, too.

[Lizzie]

I think every house that's just sitting alone is spooky wookie.

[Morgan]

I have extra door stoppers that I put underneath all the doors when I'm alone in my house. Like, I put a stopper under my door. I put two stoppers under my door. Stoppers under the front door, stoppers under the back door.

[Chris]

That would be smart.

[Morgan]

I'd be door stopper in a day.

[Lizzie]

We have crazy security here. Like, if you even drive up to the it, like, flashes a beam on you and alerts me, but it's just.

[Morgan]

Still like, oh, no, not the flash of a beam.

[Lizzie]

Well, an alarm's going to go off, and the Calabasas police are quick. All right.

[Morgan]

How quick? Let's pretty quick.

[Lizzie]

They're actually. The sheriff here is very nice to me.

[Chris]

The fact that you know the sheriff.

[Lizzie]

We've had a few instances.

[Ryland]

Well, you guys have detectors in every corner. I was here once when the security guys were here.

[Lizzie]

Setting up Morgan with the son. Oh, my God.

[Chris]

We tried to get him to go on my first D video.

[Lizzie]

It's always been somebody, a contractor's son.

[Chris]

It's always the contractor son for me. We tried to get the security man son to go on a date with me, and he did agree, but then I think his dad was like, we don't. We don't want to get our business out there like that. And I was like, yeah, that's probably smart, but can I go back to my co. Sleeping with mom anyway? I can sleep with mom. I have not slept through the night in months. And when mom's here, I can sleep till, like, noon. It's crazy.

[Lizzie]

She didn't even wake up to the fire alarm this morning.

[Chris]

They're like, there was an alarm or cake got set on fire. I had no clue.

[Lizzie]

I gotta reverse back into that. After the announcement of something in just a while, I had.

[Morgan]

That was a lot. I didn't even follow that. Okay, we're backing into something.

[Chris]

There's a lot of avenues.

[Ryland]

Forgot what the announcement was.

[Chris]

Are we talking about Lizzy?

[Lizzie]

We have a lot of announcements today.

[Chris]

Always speak highly of you.

[Morgan]

I know. Thank you. Keep my name in your mouth. As a matter of fact, you only though Morgan has exclusive rights to Lizzie.

[Chris]

Thank you.

[Lizzie]

Okay, so let's talk about. Let's talk about you a little bit. Oh, our beautiful fearless leader, Elizabeth Gordon.

[Morgan]

Yes, sir.

[Lizzie]

What's going on with you? I mean, Lizzie didn't want to, like, make an announcement because, well, the news is already broken. You've posted a vlog yesterday.

[Morgan]

So, you guys, if you watch Lizzie's vlogs, you know, and if you don't, you don't.

[Chris]

So start watching those damn vlogs.

[Morgan]

So go check out my vlog and then come back here and maybe you'll know.

[Lizzie]

No, Break the news.

[Morgan]

Ugh. I'm not pregnant with twins. Oh.

[Lizzie]

She's been manifesting so hard for so long that she was going to be pregnant with twins. And it turns out it's just the one. It's just the one.

[Morgan]

Just one little embryo lone ranger, if you will.

[Lizzie]

She started to really panic because, you know, we claim we're the luckiest girls in the world, and what we say comes to fruition.

[Morgan]

Yep.

[Lizzie]

And so Lizzie, for so long has been just saying, like, oh, I'm pregnant with twins. I'm pregnant with twins.

[Morgan]

One really crazy choice.

[Lizzie]

Once they found out she was indeed pregnant, Joe sat her down. This is your story.

[Morgan]

Well, I've already Shared this on the podcast because I just have been pregnant for a while now. But Joe was like, I need to know how serious you've been about manifesting twins. And I said, honestly, I say it often and with my whole chest and to a large audience. And a lot of them are saying it back.

[Lizzie]

So what a relief.

[Morgan]

It was such a relief. When I went to my first appointment, I was like, can you. Because they don't let you film until they're sure everything's okay. Because I don't think you want to have on film that it's not okay.

[Vicki]

Okay?

[Morgan]

And so I said, after you guys like confirm everything quietly to yourselves, but before you tell us how many you see, can I please film? And so she's like, okay, don't look. And like, Joe, you can come around here. And she goes, okay, Joe, you can film. And she's like poking the wand up inside me and she. And I only saw the one. I was like, oh my God, there's just the one. She goes, there's just the one. I was like, thank God.

[Lizzie]

Because just being pregnant this time around with a baby, your pregnancy symptoms are actually worse.

[Morgan]

They're hideous. Because I'm still also exclusively breastfeeding Billy. So I've been waking up in the middle of the night to pump cuz my supply is down a little bit because that'll happen. And it's just awful. Like, it's just awful. Like, are my teeth going to crumble out of my head?

[Lizzie]

And if you really think about it, before you even had kids, you have been manifesting back to back babies like nobody else. You kept saying, well, if you're going to get shot once, you might as well just get shot twice.

[Morgan]

Same hole. Yeah, back to my dude. That is what I say. Morgan, take notes. I've said that to a few moms. They're like, that's not what it's like. It's like, no, it makes perfect sense. If I'm gonna get shot twice, I want it to be back to back and through the same hole. And they're like, okay, that's good luck.

[Lizzie]

So baby number two, we don't know.

[Morgan]

The gender of yet, but we'll be here this year.

[Lizzie]

That is so freaking wild.

[Morgan]

Oh yeah.

[Lizzie]

You are a crazy woman. That does it all.

[Morgan]

Well, not yet. We'll see when we get there how much I'm doing.

[Shane]

I'm so glad you're saying it because every time we filmed since you, you told us, everyone in this room, I've been like terrified to say it.

[Morgan]

Oh, that's why you just got to keep saying it.

[Lizzie]

The nice part about this has been that she's been screaming she's pregnant with twins for so long. I was like, even if I mess up, it's fine. Yeah, you just are that. But you keep, like, on our Patreon. You just keep dropping most obvious hints. I'm like, do you want me to cut it? And you're like, no.

[Morgan]

Every week, too, people are like, is something wrong with Lizzy? And I'll draw a type of reply. I'm pregnant. Then I'll take a screen grab and send it to Rylan and be like, should I send it?

[Lizzie]

She's been baiting it so hard for so long.

[Morgan]

Someone posted like, oh, she didn't eat the prosciutto. That means she's pregnant. I was like, oh, is that what it means?

[Chris]

You're like Taylor Swift dropping Easter eggs.

[Morgan]

But they're like, not Easter eggs. I'm literally out loud saying, I'm pregnant.

[Chris]

But you said it so many times in a joking manner that I didn't think you were being serious.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, nobody did.

[Morgan]

And that's the boy who cried wolf for you.

[Lizzie]

I didn't even believe her. The way Lizzie told me is like, I'm so crazy. When Lizzie sends me photos, I'll always zoom in and. Because crazy things are going on in case you're crazy. No. Every time she sends me a photo.

[Chris]

Something.

[Morgan]

Every picture, like, he's the say, trying to figure out something that's going on with a massive terrorist network.

[Lizzie]

And so she sent me a picture with a focal point of presence, and I was just like, oh, my God, presence. And she's like, zoom in, you fucking F word.

[Morgan]

And I'm not sure I said, okay, cut it.

[Lizzie]

We don't need more flack for you. She didn't say it. I was trying to be funny, and it didn't work.

[Shane]

I thought it was funny.

[Lizzie]

She said, zoom in, you gay bitch.

[Morgan]

I literally did not. I said, are you stupid?

[Lizzie]

And then when I saw, I said, what is that, a COVID test? It's a call back to her dead aunt Patricia, R.I.P. whose slipper she's not wearing today, ironically.

[Morgan]

Because I can't find them. My house is such a mess. I can't do laundry anymore either. I just keep ordering new big shirts off Amazon.

[Lizzie]

That's what I do.

[Morgan]

Oh, good call, Vic.

[Chris]

You're pregnant, too.

[Ryland]

But I keep buying big shirts off.

[Morgan]

I got this one. I ordered one. That's Detective Stabler and Detective Benson, and they're both Flipping off the camera and I accidentally sent it to my mother in law and she hit the group chat with did you mean to send me this? I was like, yes, Marge, obviously it's a gift specifically picked out for you.

[Lizzie]

My mom also likes Billy a lot. He's been over the last two days in a row.

[Ryland]

He's so cute.

[Morgan]

Yeah, he's pretty cute when you hang out with him too.

[Lizzie]

He's a little chunky monkey. He's like a caricature though.

[Morgan]

He's like a baby Chris Farley.

[Lizzie]

He's always making a ridiculous face.

[Chris]

Yes. Always tongue out.

[Ryland]

Like in most the pictures yesterday, he has his tongue out.

[Morgan]

I think it's cuz his teeth are coming in. So he.

[Ryland]

Oh, that's probably it.

[Morgan]

And the saddest thing is is he had a tongue tie. So if we hadn't cut it, he wouldn't be able to do that.

[Lizzie]

His tongue is oddly long.

[Morgan]

It is because it's been. And it's snaky too. Cuz the tie was so bad. So it's kind of split in half a little bit. If you look at it close, it like makes an M. Like it's indented from the tongue tie he had.

[Chris]

That sounds horrible.

[Ryland]

I didn't know that. Yeah.

[Morgan]

And we were. They were like, you don't have to cut his tongue tie. And I was like, I mean he can't stick his tongue out. And they were like, right. Like he's gonna have a hard time rolling his R's and he's not gonna be able to lick an ice cream cone. But other than that he's gonna be fine. I was like, cut the tongue tie.

[Shane]

I'm stupid and don't know exactly what that is.

[Chris]

Same.

[Morgan]

It's when there's skin attached to your tongue to the bottom of your mouth and it holds it down. It ties your tongue down.

[Lizzie]

It's fairly common.

[Morgan]

Yeah, very common.

[Chris]

Don't we all have that?

[Morgan]

Not to the extent that it keeps your tongue from sticking out.

[Lizzie]

It's starting to make my body like hurt.

[Ryland]

Imagine if it was stuck in there.

[Morgan]

It also sucks for breastfeeding because when they latch their tongues lap kind of like a dog's. And so it's like a piece of thin skin slicing your nipple over and over. Yeah, it's not great. That's a frontal tongue tie or like an anterior.

[Lizzie]

Oh, I wanted you to tell your story and we're gonna get to our lovely guests in just a second. I. At first I was like, well, do you want my family on your pregnancy Announcement. She's like, there will be no.

[Morgan]

I was trying to be cool, calm and collected about this.

[Lizzie]

She's like, there will be no announcement. And I was like, well, there's got to be kind of an announcement. She's like, I think I'll just never say anything.

[Chris]

I don't get why you want to be cool and call cool, calm or collected. I think I would be screaming it to everyone.

[Lizzie]

It's deep rooted. I think it's the second time around and there's been some constant push and pull on the Internet so far. And it's like she's already dealing with a lot. She's a mother to a baby under one, she's pregnant with another. She's still working and sometimes it's just a lot to deal with the input of others.

[Morgan]

Yeah. So I'll be steering clear of the comment section going forward. Be advised. I'll miss you guys. I'm going to really miss her in play. And your thoughts and your feelings and honestly, I'm going to hold space for them.

[Lizzie]

I instructed her husband through her take her phone away, delete her YouTube app, don't let her have actual access because normally you can handle it. Yeah, I don't think in this current state you can handle it.

[Morgan]

No, no, no, no, no. I wasn't made for comments anymore.

[Chris]

We gotta get your screen time below 12 hours.

[Morgan]

Well, so my screen timer also messed up because I have my. What is it called? Monitor on it.

[Lizzie]

Your baby monitor.

[Morgan]

So it's just running 24.

[Lizzie]

Well, tell us a little bit about your health check.

[Morgan]

Oh, my health check. Well, if you're a member of the Patreon, you know, I was able to finally trim my bush.

[Lizzie]

Huh. Congratulations.

[Morgan]

Thank you.

[Lizzie]

We're very proud of you. You know what, it's nice that you were able. You get too big.

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So do you have a gingerbrush?

[Morgan]

Actually kind of not toast more. It's like almost calico in nature. There's like your son's hair lights the.

[Lizzie]

Way that your son has highlights. Yes, it's blonde and ginger to some degree. That is like.

[Morgan]

It's not very ginger though. Actually blonde.

[Ryland]

What underneath the red is blonde? She showed me yesterday.

[Morgan]

Not my bush.

[Ryland]

Oh, I thought you were talking about. Okay, I'm leaving.

[Lizzie]

Are you coming on to my mom? Are you taking her into the pool?

[Ryland]

I think I blacked out what she said because I was so unbelievable talking about this. And then I thought you went back to Billy's hair.

[Chris]

Lizzie personally showed us her butthole one by one yesterday and we Got to do a color analysis. She is a winter.

[Lizzie]

I'm on Patreon showing Lizzie my ass, so it's not too far. Don't worry about it, Chris. The things you don't bring a revenue on today. Okay? I ordered it by accident to show.

[Chris]

His cheeks to the Internet.

[Morgan]

Oh, my God, Morgan, his cheeks are fully covered.

[Lizzie]

No, they're not.

[Shane]

What?

[Morgan]

His cheeks are covered.

[Lizzie]

If my family wasn't here, I'd pull it out for Chris.

[Ryland]

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

[Morgan]

Don't worry, Vicki. There's nothing.

[Ryland]

Is there a new subject?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, her health check at her first appointment for the baby.

[Morgan]

So every time you do a health check when you're pregnant, they make you do a survey, and one of the questions they ask is like, has your spouse or partner or baby d. Whatever threatened to kill you in the last week? And I started laughing because I threatened to kill Joe almost every day. And I definitely threatened to kill Joe on this podcast. And also, as we talked about two weeks ago, I had a lot of text messages that say, I'm going to fucking kill him.

[Lizzie]

In great detail on how she would do it, period.

[Morgan]

So I started laughing, and the nurse goes, is the survey funny? And I was like, yeah, no, I'm just laughing about how often I threatened to kill my husband. She goes, but we didn't offer him a survey, and I'm too busy to report you. And I was like, hell, yeah, Maggie. You a real one, girl. And then when we got back there. Also, Joe has a huge injury on his eye right now. So he really does.

[Lizzie]

This man is like, you've got to house proof your house. It's like adult proof your house for your husband.

[Morgan]

He gets so mad at me when I call him a honey badger, but it's like, bro, you're a honey badger. Like you.

[Lizzie]

He has, like, a huge indentation scab on his cheek.

[Morgan]

Like, dark red scab because it's full blood. He was barbecuing and got hit in the eye with a kernel of molten coal.

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Chris]

Yikes.

[Morgan]

So it looks really bad. I was like, just so you know, Maggie, this is gonna sound sus, but that is a barbecuing accident injury on his eye. That is not for me. After everything we talked about, should we.

[Shane]

Be concerned for Joe?

[Lizzie]

We should.

[Morgan]

Joe's the one who's endangering Joe. I'm mostly sleeping.

[Lizzie]

What did you learn in therapy today? Do you feel comfortable sharing?

[Morgan]

Oh, what was the big takeaway?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, what was the takeaway?

[Shane]

It was. Honestly, today was mainly just about managing my time because I'm terrible at it. And like, just working on that more than anything. It wasn't a very exciting day.

[Lizzie]

Did she give any tips on how to do that for everyone watching?

[Shane]

I mean, yeah. I mean, one of my main things is I future trip so badly that I stop myself from doing anything. Like I'll worry about months down the line and be like, oh, because. And I always think about worst case scenario. So I'm like, oh, five months down the line. This is what's gonna happen.

[Lizzie]

That's what's holding you back. The worst case scenario, you gotta think best scenario. You gotta flip the switch, baby.

[Shane]

I try, but I. It's really hard for me. That's why I'm in therapy. But she said that future tripping in any way is not advised. And so that she said, try to give yourself like a two week cutoff. Like, don't worry like past two weeks for me, specifically because of how my brain works. Yeah, it's too much. And so she's like, if, just look, if the past two weeks don't think about it, like for now, focus on that. And oh, there were other things. I'm drawing a blank, but that was a big one.

[Lizzie]

I put you on the spot. Tell us about your therapy session.

[Morgan]

That was crazy.

[Chris]

I think I have the opposite problem where I think, oh, in three years from now, like, I'll just have a rich husband. We're gonna get $30 million deals.

[Lizzie]

I'm searching in Laguna Beach. She almost secured the deal for us, but she did.

[Morgan]

Well.

[Chris]

Mom didn't know if he was like, available or not.

[Lizzie]

Who cares?

[Ryland]

40 years older than her.

[Lizzie]

Bring us in.

[Morgan]

He was 40 years old.

[Chris]

We're thinking, log. Do you want to live in Laguna beach or not?

[Lizzie]

And do you want a 25 year old whose brain has just fully formed?

[Morgan]

Honestly? Good point.

[Lizzie]

We want the 40 year old, 50 year old, 60 year old.

[Morgan]

And wait, was this man 40 or was he 60?

[Chris]

He was at least 70.

[Lizzie]

And I was thinking, she'll inherit the Laguna beach property.

[Chris]

Get the Laguna beach property with the cleaning service. And that was his vacation home. Because he came in hot.

[Lizzie]

Just paint the picture. Yeah, I wake up early, I text my family, I'm like, I'm going to the hotel lobby to get coffee. No one responds. I'm like, fine, I'll go on a beach walk by myself. My mom wakes up screaming.

[Morgan]

He's gonna be mad at us that.

[Chris]

We didn't wake up and go. Woke me up in a full anxiety attack.

[Ryland]

I was not What?

[Chris]

I was peacefully slumbering next to mom and Mom's like, he's been awake for 20 minutes without us. He's gonna think that we don't care about his birthday. He's already downstairs getting coffee with us. And I was like, mom, you need.

[Lizzie]

To chill the fuck out.

[Chris]

Like, I got mad at mom. I was like, my eyes aren't even even open yet for you to be.

[Ryland]

Missing the morning too.

[Morgan]

She was future tripping on the morning.

[Ryland]

We like the sunrise. We liked. It was cloudy and I.

[Morgan]

It was gray.

[Lizzie]

I didn't miss anything. I had a good time by myself though, so don't worry about it. So then they go to get the coffee from the lobby, just the two girls, which honestly, this worked in our favor without you. Had a gay guy been here, it wouldn't have panned out like this.

[Chris]

I feel like Laguna beach is very straight and Republican. Yes. It's very, very old school. So thank God that my gay brother wasn't there, clouding up the man's vision of our family.

[Vicki]

So bring us in.

[Lizzie]

Tell us.

[Chris]

I don't feel that way.

[Morgan]

Right, right, right.

[Chris]

We have been talking a lot about how we portray ourselves and we have to sometimes cater to the audience. I was catering to the audience by not having my gay brother there unknowingly, period.

[Lizzie]

But really, life was unfolding for her.

[Chris]

Hey, I am not anti. Anti gay.

[Lizzie]

She has a gay brother.

[Chris]

I have a gay friend. No. You know, I dated a guy once and he told me my mom doesn't like gay people. And I was like, I don't think that's gonna work for me.

[Morgan]

Oh, good for you. Yeah, that's allyship.

[Chris]

So keep that in mind before you come into the comments saying you're homophobic.

[Lizzie]

But you have to read the room. We have to try to get a rich husband in Laguna Beach. You bring.

[Morgan]

Then you forget your gay brother.

[Lizzie]

You bring a gay brother in after.

[Chris]

Later. Later.

[Morgan]

Yeah, yeah, later. So he knows what he's throwing away. And then you say, guess what? My gay brother taught me how to do that.

[Chris]

Yeah, you gotta throw it back.

[Morgan]

So you're okay.

[Lizzie]

Only you.

[Chris]

But he was a.

[Lizzie]

That was who approached who.

[Chris]

We ran into each other at the same time at the coffee bar. And he was telling his. All of his friends like, oh, they're opening a Michelin star restaurant down the street. Like it used to be a Michelin star restaurant until they downgraded this space. And I was like, oh yeah, it's gonna be so nice when it's open. We talked to Him a few times.

[Ryland]

Yeah, it. The Michelin restaurant would be right on the property. Wasn't even down the street.

[Chris]

Yeah, I don't know where his main residence was. But if you have a 30 million dollar fun house. Yeah, you gotta be stupid rich.

[Morgan]

You gotta need a 20 something year old wife.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, exactly what I'm saying. And so they walk down, they start telling me about it, and I was like, why didn't you get the house tour? Why didn't you get the invite to the house on the Montage property?

[Chris]

We should have.

[Lizzie]

I was so upset. We were shopping for boyfriends for her the entire weekend. And then at a different place that we were at, there was an older guy and a younger guy. And my mom goes, morgan, I think I found your husband with a ring emoji. And she goes, be open invisible ink.

[Ryland]

So the guy wouldn't see.

[Chris]

She knows how to. Invisible ink.

[Morgan]

Yes.

[Chris]

And I said, the old one. And she said, yes.

[Ryland]

No, I did not.

[Lizzie]

She wanted the younger one.

[Chris]

We're mainly joking, however, you know, but.

[Morgan]

Like, not that joking.

[Chris]

Meghan Markle. If I was Meghan Markle, I would have sat my ass in that palace and said, I will not make a peace period. Is that bad to say?

[Morgan]

I don't know, but I'm backing you up slightly.

[Ryland]

No, that I'm with you on.

[Morgan]

I will.

[Chris]

She knew what she was getting into.

[Ryland]

I'm serious.

[Morgan]

How do you not? How do you not?

[Chris]

She knew what she was signing up for. I would have been a lovely princess. I would have never made like a.

[Lizzie]

Housewife and be like, oh my God.

[Morgan]

I shut the up and suck those corgis toes. I swear to God.

[Chris]

Yes, Jennifer. I'll have a croissant for breakfast. Yes. Bring me my Dior to try on.

[Morgan]

You need me to go smile for the audience.

[Chris]

I'll smile for the audience, kind of.

[Morgan]

Does anyone still feel bad for Megan?

[Ryland]

No.

[Lizzie]

No. Nobody feels bad.

[Morgan]

Have you guys seen her?

[Lizzie]

People are enjoying it.

[Morgan]

The way that they're hyperclipping her with love from Megan. The way that they're clipping those. I think it's so fucking funny.

[Lizzie]

I think just like Katy Perry. I hope Meghan can just laugh at the people that are critiquing her. Because she's the one sitting in the position that is of like the utmost wonderfulness. She's just sitting in her mansion in Montecito filming a show in a house.

[Morgan]

That'S sprinkling flower petals on everything.

[Chris]

And didn't we just. Just figure out that Montecito is the Most expensive county in the world.

[Lizzie]

Santa Barbara.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Oprah lives there.

[Chris]

And, yeah, I don't think she has much to complain about, to be honest.

[Morgan]

The funny thing is, is, like, I.

[Chris]

Actually don't know much about her, so maybe I should shut up. I just know that she could have been a princess and decided not to be. And I would have loved to be the princess.

[Morgan]

It just what rocked me about her deciding not to be. She's like, I just didn't know what this was all gonna entail. It's like, do you know how your husband's mother died?

[Chris]

Yeah, she does.

[Morgan]

Because I was seven when that happened, and I know, and I'm not married to him.

[Lizzie]

She had a good career.

[Chris]

She used weaponized incompetence.

[Lizzie]

It's popular on Netflix again.

[Chris]

Yeah, she's not suffering.

[Morgan]

She's not suffering.

[Lizzie]

I mean, we don't know if she's suffering mentally, but she seems financially okay.

[Morgan]

The way that she talks is just so wild to me. A woman had this really hot take where she's like, meghan Merkel talks to her rich friend about how to pretend like she's not rich, and that's what her show is like. She'll have a hyper rich person on the show, and she'll be like, you can plan your own parties. And the person's like, what? No, no. And Megan's like, no, you totally can't. She has, like, Mindy Cowling on the show. She's like, I like to dress, like, cheap.

[Chris]

Nice.

[Morgan]

Nicer. And she goes to these pants. Sara. And Mindy's like, what? And then Megan proceeds to name two other brands that are. They're so rich and powerful. I don't even know what they are. I've never even heard them. And Mindy's, like, cute. She's like, so, you know, like, you can mix. We were like Hadana with some Zara. And it's like, you're just like the regular people.

[Chris]

So she's on it.

[Morgan]

A little out of touch. A little out of touch with Megan is what they should call her show.

[Lizzie]

See, I wish she would lean into it, because I wish she would, too.

[Morgan]

Just admit it. But you're not one of us.

[Lizzie]

It would be so much more fun that way.

[Morgan]

It would be like, if we could.

[Lizzie]

Just not take ourselves so seriously under, you know, whatever.

[Morgan]

Whatever, Megan.

[Lizzie]

Whatever.

[Chris]

It's not a fair world. Not all of us get the opportunity to be the princess.

[Shane]

No, it's so funny, because I would love. This is where I differentiate, because I respect and love that for You. But, like, I would love a nice house. I would love, like, a glamorous queen life. But I also can't put up with, I don't know, a lot of things.

[Chris]

You want to be the princess, Chris?

[Shane]

I don't know. If I have to put up with too much, I'd rather be broke. Honestly, I don't know. I can't.

[Lizzie]

She probably.

[Morgan]

That's a crazy manifestation to throw out there in a room where things come true.

[Shane]

When we say that I'm not manifesting.

[Lizzie]

We want to be princesses, Chris.

[Shane]

I'm manifesting a rich person who doesn't make me put up with garbage.

[Lizzie]

That's what I'm manifesting.

[Chris]

Yeah, see, Chris is just filtering out the bad ones. The standards are still there. He just doesn't want to deal with the problems.

[Lizzie]

Did she not interview the family before she went all in?

[Morgan]

How do you not know they're the royal family?

[Lizzie]

I'm saying, though, like, wouldn't you go to a couple of dinners before you, like, got.

[Morgan]

It's so weird. Your dad's, like, very formal. And your grandmother. I have to curtsy. Okay.

[Lizzie]

H. Okay, let's cut and we'll be right back.

[Chris]

I call him H. He calls me M. Cuz we're in love.

[Lizzie]

Wondering where all these parents nannies were.

[Shane]

Camera, take two. A, Mark. Can't repeat these feats in one. Take two. B, Mark.

[Ryland]

Oh, the lobster outfit was adorable.

[Lizzie]

She stacked this baby.

[Morgan]

Well, that was a coincidence.

[Lizzie]

I don't think it was.

[Morgan]

It was a coincidence.

[Ryland]

Pajamas, Swimsuit.

[Lizzie]

The swimsuit were lobsters. Then she had a pajama sweat set that was also lobsters. He might as well.

[Morgan]

I like lobsters. Okay.

[Lizzie]

He might as well had a lobster bow putting in his balayage hair.

[Morgan]

Oh, I should get one.

[Ryland]

Did you have lobsters? On his little flip flops? I think he had flobs.

[Morgan]

No, he doesn't wear flip flops.

[Ryland]

I thought he had some little shoes.

[Morgan]

His feet are kind of too stupid for shoes.

[Ryland]

Oh, okay.

[Morgan]

Like there's something stupid about his feet still. Like, they're not fully realized. What?

[Lizzie]

Oh, Chris's.

[Ryland]

And we're back.

[Lizzie]

And we're back. Okay. Morgan also has a huge announcement.

[Chris]

I feel as though it's offensive to do that in the same episode as Lizzie's big announcement.

[Lizzie]

I don't think it is. It just coincidentally happens to be the same time.

[Morgan]

Okay, well, Morgan's pregnant.

[Chris]

No.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

I believed it for a second. Oh, my God. I was, like.

[Ryland]

Very excited.

[Lizzie]

It's the man from Laguna beach and we're moving in.

[Ryland]

I would be, nope, not happening.

[Lizzie]

Seaside living.

[Shane]

I would be so funny. Is.

[Chris]

I feel like a lot of our manifestations do come true. They do just random ass things. I've been saying, where is my rich husband? For years, and that one never comes true.

[Morgan]

Don't give up.

[Shane]

It will.

[Morgan]

But be timely about it. Morgan starts saying, I'm getting a rich husband now. Maybe.

[Chris]

Yeah, that's pretty cool. You know what?

[Morgan]

Now add the now.

[Chris]

I texted Ryan a thing. Ryland. What? It's still confusing. I texted him a thing, and I was like, oh, I guess if I can't find a rich husband, I'm gonna have to be the rich husband, which sucks.

[Lizzie]

I said, just aim for, like, never mind. I don't want to say anything to me.

[Chris]

Which I would be fine with a person. Here's the thing. I would really be fine with a husband that just, like, had some sort of, like, oomph, you know? Yeah, I don't need, like, a quadrillion.

[Morgan]

Do you mean like an oomph, like, as in facial hair, or like an oomph, as in, like, banking?

[Chris]

Like, a drive for life, period.

[Lizzie]

Like, really? I think she just needs somebody that's a go getter, that's out there trying fake moves, that has a dream that is, like, putting one foot in front of the other, trying to make something go.

[Chris]

Yes, yes. So don't take my manifestation as like, oh, you're the most shallow girl.

[Lizzie]

It doesn't have to be rich rich. It just can't be the stereotypical YouTuber boyfriend that has.

[Chris]

Why does it happen like that?

[Lizzie]

Oh, no, it's a disease.

[Chris]

I swear to God.

[Lizzie]

Every.

[Chris]

No, every YouTube girl, without a doubt, finds a jobless boyfriend that kind of just, like, works their way in. And I mean that in, like, the kindest way possible.

[Lizzie]

And they're all nice. I'm sure.

[Chris]

They're all. I'm sure.

[Lizzie]

Great.

[Chris]

But then I end up hearing from these YouTuber girls, like, yeah, I just kind of had to, like, give him a job, you know? Like, I had to, like, make a job up.

[Lizzie]

And it's like, you don't want to be making a job for your boyfriend, because then it's like, they're also on the payroll. And then if they're bad at their job, it's like, not only do you have to fire them, you have to break up with them. And what if you planned a life with this person?

[Morgan]

You can fire them and not break up with them.

[Lizzie]

Oh.

[Chris]

Oh, See, I don't know.

[Shane]

I know people like this. And I'm trying so hard not to.

[Chris]

Say we, like, all take a lesson from Aspen Ovard of, like.

[Morgan]

Like, she's dropping names.

[Lizzie]

She's dropping names.

[Chris]

Would love that. I look up to her in a way of like, oh, yeah, don't settle just because you can.

[Lizzie]

Morgan's been begging me to, like, well, here's the thing. Like, I've been a silent viewer of Aspen forever. And for some reason, I was like, I. I was like. I don't even think I follow her on Instagram, Morgan. But I watch all of her vlogs. Like, I'm an Aspen Ovard girly. And when you were new. Because Lizzy doesn't really watch YouTube. So when all of this was going down, like, but it wasn't confirmed, I was, like, telling Lizzie the drama without knowing the drama, and I was like, get this. Like, it was her high school.

[Morgan]

That was some hot drama.

[Lizzie]

It was so hot, Goss.

[Chris]

Well, yeah. And we're YouTube Aspen viewers. We don't even. Tic Tac.

[Lizzie]

No, I don't. I don't.

[Chris]

And we're still fans. But he tell me him and Aspen would not be the perfect little BFFs. Oh, is that going to enrage Lizzie?

[Lizzie]

No, she's fine.

[Shane]

You.

[Morgan]

He wants more friends.

[Lizzie]

But I will say she lives in Newport Beach. So when I move to Laguna Beach, I already have her there. She has no idea who I am.

[Chris]

No, I appreciate in the same ways that I appreciate him is they're just like, we don't give a what people say about us. We don't really care.

[Lizzie]

I did watch it. I saw a clip somewhere of Aspen. I don't know if it was clipped from, like, a podcast she was on or something, but she was like, yeah. Like, I realized people were, like, finding out details of my story and exploiting it. So then I kind of had to take the emotion out of it myself and do it for myself. And then, like, my TikTok just became what it is because I just. Just, like, went numb with all of it. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's a little dark. It's a little dark. I mean, she's talking about how dark this period of her life is. And I'm speaking on her life as, like, I'm her friend, but I know nothing. I don't know.

[Morgan]

Apparently you might be one day, so.

[Chris]

Right. But the point is, Aspen got married to what the stereotypical YouTuber boyfriend is that she then had to employ. So I feel like we could all. And then she had to Be like, maybe that's not.

[Lizzie]

Maybe that's not the way slowly happened over the years. Like, there was a vlog channel that was the two of them. And then she was like, I'm kind of just taking my vlog channel back. And then they, like, backed out of a house that they were building and they get slowly unraveled. They have three kids.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

So that makes it hard, but that she's not settling on her happiness because she has three kids.

[Morgan]

Did we just pivot to Aspen to get out of the big announcement?

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris]

Oh, no. We just love Aspen and I think that she should come on, but I don't see.

[Lizzie]

I get nervous to DM people.

[Morgan]

Like, he will never do it, Aspen.

[Lizzie]

I probably would, but I don't.

[Morgan]

Are you fucking kidding me?

[Lizzie]

I don't like to create friendships for. No, no, I'm. I'm saying I would want to DM her and hang out with her. I wouldn't want to be like, our first interaction. Let me throw you on camera. If we became good friends, then I would be like, eventually, yeah. Come on the podcast.

[Chris]

So let me do this for you, Aspen. This is for you and only you. This message goes to Aspen Ovar. Send it to her. Aspen. My brother is very kind. I know he can come off a little abrasive, but it's mo. It's mainly an actin and I both can.

[Morgan]

I don't know if you can handle. Kill him.

[Chris]

You have a loss.

[Morgan]

Actually, I think you should exit the chat. Stay the away, Aspen. He's spoken for. Get your own friends, Aspen.

[Chris]

He loves the bougie things of life. He's on the same moral compass as you. He doesn't exploit his kids for views which a lot of these tick tockers are crazy about. I have to say, you guys could mommy vlog without vlogging your kids. You could go get a little coffee in Newport Beach. It would be so fun. And he would finally have, like, a normal friend.

[Ryland]

Oh, my gosh, Lizzy, I love you.

[Morgan]

I am right here.

[Ryland]

I love you, Lizzy. I'm just kidding.

[Chris]

I love Lizzy more than anyone.

[Lizzie]

Are you kidding me? She was the one that invited you to the pool yesterday. I had no intention of doing that.

[Morgan]

It was just you.

[Lizzie]

It was just her. And then she was like, well, I would feel uncomfortable.

[Morgan]

Make your announcement so that we can make my next announcement.

[Chris]

Oh, is Lizzie gonna kill me next?

[Morgan]

No, my exit's trying to.

[Shane]

What? You're leaving?

[Lizzie]

Are you quitting? Aspen, I need a new co host. Get your ass over here, Morgan.

[Morgan]

Make your announcement. Hard launches.

[Chris]

Okay, so I am a very. What would you call it?

[Morgan]

Opinionated, well spoken, brilliant, Beautiful.

[Lizzie]

Oh, you like her again. After me just stabbed and twisted.

[Ryland]

A great daughter.

[Morgan]

She's talented.

[Chris]

I'm not great at committing to big things. So Shane had given me this idea, and I was like, yes, but I need to do it in a way that I can have, like, training wheels before I'm really ready to do it. And by the time that I'm really ready, it's going to be like, a year from now. Oh, okay. So I was in cahoots with the Patreon people because you, the founding fathers of Patreon, have paved the way for the rest of us.

[Lizzie]

Right?

[Chris]

So the Patreon girl reached out to me and she was like, hey, your brother and Lizzie are really killing it on Patreon, and I think that you should do the same. And I was like, yeah, but I really don't know what I would do on there because my vlogs are pretty, like, uncut anyway. Like, I don't know if I'm hiding much.

[Lizzie]

Right?

[Chris]

Like, I've never had a secret that I had to eat keep.

[Morgan]

Sorry, Mom. Poor Vicki.

[Ryland]

I am just shocked over here.

[Chris]

Still about.

[Lizzie]

So we're getting to you, Mom. Don't worry.

[Chris]

Yeah, I'm not really good at announcing things like this because we don't. We haven't even filmed the first one yet. We're just going for it.

[Morgan]

I announced my vlog before I'd filmed it, and if I hadn't announced it, I never would have filmed it.

[Lizzie]

Well, by the time this podcast goes up, which is in a week from now, the first episode will be live, so I'll just rip the band aid. Morgan started a Patreon. The link is in the description section below. And tell us the concept for what they're going to get and for what.

[Chris]

So the concept is. Well, one, my original Patreon idea was that I was gonna do all the things that I cut out of my vlogs, which tends to be a lot when I find, you know, like, they don't fit into the storyline. Right. So that you'll get, like, the bonus videos that I'm like, oh, this doesn't fit anywhere. We gotta cut it out.

[Lizzie]

But it's still good. It just doesn't match the story.

[Chris]

It just doesn't match the store. I'm a storyline girl. I used to have a theme.

[Lizzie]

She's a girl that will refilm an intro three times in different locations on different days just to make sure it's right.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Is that exposing too much?

[Chris]

No, it's really bad. And I've talked about that to people for a long time. I'm like, I spend all day filming and editing, and then I'll be like, this wasn't it delete, which is crazy. It's bad.

[Morgan]

It's the delete.

[Chris]

For me, it's the delete, which I.

[Lizzie]

If I have footage that I haven't used, I, like, panic about it. I'm like, but I can't let that footage go.

[Chris]

I already filmed that footage. It's got to be somewhere. I delete 27 out of 30 days of the month. I'm like, delete.

[Lizzie]

So start putting some of those on Patreon.

[Chris]

So those are what will go on Patreon. But then I was like, okay, I want to do a podcast. But in my training wheel way of doing it, before I decide, like, what the theme is, who the co stars are, co stars, co hosts are. I want to, like, try out different things and get feedback from the people. Like, what would you call it? Like, a startup? It's a startup workshop where people can give feedback on what they do like and what they don't like. The branding, the trial episodes before. It's actually a real public thing.

[Lizzie]

Right.

[Chris]

It's a training wheel podcast called Seriously, Period.

[Lizzie]

And so the whole ploy of it is there's like a Seriously. And it's like, something good that's happened and something bad that's happened. So, like, today. Well, should we do, like, a test round? Everyone does their own Seriously. And this will be, like, a taste of what you'll get. So I think what her plan is, she might have some solo episodes, but she'll have, like, a rotating crew of people, and it will be like, the main thing would be, like, seriously. So for me today, I'm the founding father of Patreon for my family. Right?

[Chris]

Right.

[Lizzie]

I've been dipping. I've been doing it. I've been putting in the hard work. And because I've been doing that, now Patreon is reaching out to my siblings. Great. Fantastic for them. I want every. Not my siblings. My siblings and my husband.

[Morgan]

But your husband's a lot like a sibling.

[Shane]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Lizzie]

And so I'm like, great. I'm like, yes, I think everyone should be doing that. Fantastic. But because it's. They're, like, taking a while and thinking about what they're gonna do and are they gonna do it? Is this the right move? They keep, like, Leveraging opportunities.

[Morgan]

Leveraging opportunities.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

So now Patreon, and they've leveraged nothing for us.

[Lizzie]

So Patreon has not only offered my sister a billboard in Times Square, they've now offered Shane a billboard in Times.

[Morgan]

Square, and they've said nothing. Dimension billboard list. Seriously, Pat.

[Ryland]

Imagine he shout his butt on your platform.

[Morgan]

Seriously.

[Ryland]

Like, calm down. You guys have children in the house.

[Chris]

That was a great example of what will happen on Seriously. And I would call that episode with Ryland Seriously Ryland.

[Lizzie]

Oh. I mean, you'll have to fill the time for more than just that, but.

[Chris]

Yeah, well, then we can just chit chat about life, you know, but that's why it's a trial.

[Shane]

I love that idea, though.

[Chris]

It's a trial. So we're gonna figure out the ins out and and outs on the Patreon before it's a real public YouTube thing.

[Lizzie]

Right? So go check it out. We've been spit. But you've left Morgan hanging.

[Ryland]

You know, I was looking at Ryan.

[Chris]

Because he was seriously typical.

[Lizzie]

Go check it out. The link is in the description section below. It's going to be lots of fun. I'm sure Shane and I will be on there in the first couple of episodes. But in the. In the spirit of Morgan launching it, I think we do need to go around and you have to do yours. Seriously. I know I'm putting you on the spot, but you're an improv girl.

[Shane]

Is it a good and bad or just good?

[Chris]

It could be.

[Shane]

Or just.

[Lizzie]

It could be good or bad.

[Shane]

Oh, one.

[Lizzie]

Or you just change the tone of Seriously. If it's fantastic. Like if you just had the best sex of your life. Seriously, it's very simple.

[Chris]

I have one.

[Lizzie]

All right.

[Chris]

Hot and ready. Every day when we get to the end of the day, my mom will, you know, we'll all be sitting on the couch, me, Ryan, Shane, and mom, and we'll be like, just, you know, talking about the day. And my mom's like, rylan and Shane, they just work so hard. They're never not working. Like this YouTube stuff, it just never ends. And I don't know how they sleep at night. Like, there's just comments constantly rolling in, and they're just always working. And it's. I am never included in the conversation. When mom talks about what I do, she's like, oh, Morgan, she has time. She has nothing but free time. She was sick, right?

[Lizzie]

Was just breezing through this house. You know, he's taking care of the house and the dogs and the kids.

[Chris]

How does work and do it.

[Lizzie]

She's like, it just never ends. Even when the kids go to bed. Then he's back to his computer and I understand what she's saying. I told Morgan, I don't think it's a hit to you not working. I think it's that I've over committed my life to responsibilities. Like I don't have a choice. It's like I have five animals, two kids. We have a lot of commitments to work. She is working. She edits all day. Like she was editing her video all.

[Morgan]

Day yesterday and then she deleted.

[Lizzie]

It's gone. You'll never see it.

[Ryland]

It wasn't even about Shane. It was about Ryland. The conversation was about Ryland. And so you were trying to get in there and get your credit, but that comes at a different time.

[Chris]

Seriously.

[Ryland]

Sometimes it's you. Sometimes. Sometimes it's you, sometimes it's Ryan, sometimes it's Lizzie, sometimes it's Shane, sometimes it's Austin, sometimes it's Chris. Sometimes it's.

[Morgan]

I think I lost the plot a little bit, Stacy.

[Vicki]

You did.

[Morgan]

Might be confused, but.

[Vicki]

Because she.

[Morgan]

She's.

[Ryland]

She's turning it around.

[Lizzie]

Seriously.

[Ryland]

Morgan turned it around around because it was more about Ryland. It wasn't.

[Chris]

And then she's over there going, oh, he's about Ryland.

[Morgan]

You should have been a lawyer, Vicki. I just got. Or a politician. I just got spun upside down, stuck to a spider web, injected with poison. And I loved it.

[Ryland]

There's a whole another part to it that I. I can't talk about, but that.

[Chris]

Oh, that will enrage me even more.

[Ryland]

No, it won't. Oh, no. Okay, let's. Okay, so back to you, Riley.

[Morgan]

Seriously. Okay.

[Chris]

Seriously.

[Morgan]

Seriously. I guess. Let me think. Oh, oh, oh. Okay, here's one. So I haven't been able to manage my lady hair for over nine months. And finally I work up the courage to hack away at it and. With a razor and a blowtorch. And then I go to see my obgyn and she says nothing. Seriously.

[Lizzie]

And then you go to service your husband? And he says, I thought something looked different.

[Chris]

Seriously.

[Morgan]

I actually didn't go to service my husband. I was just too tired to pull my pants up after I got off the toilet and I walled over to the bed and I laid down with my pants around my ankles and my husband walked into the room and I said, did you notice something different about me? And he was like, no. And I was like, seriously? And he was like, why? And I was like, cuz I managed to tame my bush a Little bit. And he was like, oh, okay, the baby pooped. Can you change his diaper? And I said, seriously?

[Chris]

And then she shouted to Vicki.

[Morgan]

And then I pulled, I pulled Vicky into a dark corner. I said, vicky, psst, look at this. And she said, oh, look at. You've got some nice dogs tendencies.

[Chris]

Stay away from my mom.

[Morgan]

And I said, vicki, seriously. And she said, I see you, Liz. And then Morgan came around the corner and she went, you never talk about my pubic hair like that.

[Ryland]

I reroute the conversation to Billy. I don't go there.

[Lizzie]

I would just something that was so crazy. So yesterday, to celebrate like the launch of Morgan's Patreon, Shane had.

[Morgan]

Oh, is that what the fucking case?

[Lizzie]

So let me just tell you the story. So Shane is Shane and he likes to celebrate everything. So we're like sitting there and he's like, oh, we gotta get cake tonight. And the cake arrives and he like pulls the cake out and he does a reveal and it's like a beautiful Suzy cake. And it says seriously. For like the launch of Seriously. And it was very like a cute moment, but we had just all overdosed on doghouse, which was like fried intense food.

[Chris]

I didn't think we had some dogs.

[Lizzie]

No thing about our family, we put our cakes in the oven. Like that's where they go, you know, like the cakes belong in the oven house.

[Ryland]

That's where they go.

[Chris]

And we just had a discussion. Shane's podcast, how everyone else except for us thinks that it's weird.

[Lizzie]

Correct. And so we, we all too full, too tired to have the cake. So we put it safely in the oven and we're like, we're gonna consume this tomorrow night. It's gonna be a full blown party. It's gonna be incredible. I'm sleeping, I'm having a wonderful snooze. It's seven in the morning and all of a sudden my fire alarm starts and I'm like, oh shit. And then like the nanny's obviously like cooking breakfast for the babies, but I.

[Ryland]

I'm trying to get dressed to go find out what's going on, but it's.

[Lizzie]

Happened before and sometimes like our smoke alarms are sensitive. So I was like, maybe it will just stop. Maybe it will just stop. And then I finally, after it didn't stop, I run downstairs and she's like, I preheated the oven to put sweet potatoes in, but I didn't realize there was a ca. She's like, she's like, maybe it didn't burn all the way. And I gotta Open. And the. Seriously cakes just, like, melted and disintegrated.

[Morgan]

I couldn't even tell what it said. When he sent me a picture, I was like, what the Is this?

[Chris]

Is that a bad sign? Like bad juju?

[Lizzie]

No.

[Ryland]

No.

[Lizzie]

So hard. And I was like, morgan's dream has already burnt to a crisp.

[Morgan]

No, Morgan, if anybody can be super successful at something like this, it's you, Morgan. Podcast is lit.

[Shane]

Fire.

[Chris]

Burn the house down.

[Lizzie]

And she felt so bad. And I was like, no, go get another one. I was like, we're the trashy people that put our cakes in the oven. Why would you think to open the oven before you preheat the oven?

[Vicki]

Is there bugs on it? Cause if there's not, I'm eating it. Oh, come on. I'm not gonna do it, but come on. It's like a gooey ooey.

[Shane]

Cause it's sitting in a hot trash.

[Lizzie]

Can in the sun.

[Ryland]

I'm hoping Shane orders another one.

[Morgan]

Oh, cuz you want to eat it?

[Lizzie]

We're leaving tomorrow. We can't order another cake at this point.

[Ryland]

We can take it with us on the plate.

[Lizzie]

This woman has such a problem with saving food. Like, we're always like, it's dinner time. What do you want? We start passing around the fun. My mom's like, I have yesterday's food. And Shane's always like, yeah, she's going to have that on her birthday in July. I was like, we're we. Well, I could take it home. And it's like, no, you can't. You're not. Lizzy. You can't bring this on the plane with you.

[Vicki]

You.

[Morgan]

I would.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, she would go to Heritage Cafe, get the breakfast burrito and get a second. I know she did take it home on the plane with her and have no shame about how it smells.

[Morgan]

I don't have a shame about it. It doesn't smell the whole plane.

[Chris]

There were things that.

[Ryland]

What did she say?

[Morgan]

Everyone knows you can park on the plane and no one smells like it.

[Ryland]

We know you saved something from Sonic once too. And Sonic you were going straight to. Yeah, Sonic. Driving in a room.

[Morgan]

I don't think I would do a Sonic.

[Chris]

We.

[Ryland]

We went to Sonic. It's where they.

[Morgan]

I think we were just in a rush.

[Lizzie]

It might have been fried pickle. I don't know. Know.

[Morgan]

Oh, it could have been fried pickles, but that was from. No dog something.

[Lizzie]

Okay, mom, did you think of a seriously lazy dog?

[Morgan]

Lazy dog.

[Ryland]

Oh, gosh, I did have one. Now you guys made me forget because.

[Lizzie]

I laugh Chris, do you have one?

[Shane]

I mean, I have a lame positive one.

[Lizzie]

That's fine.

[Shane]

We like positivity, but it's also just lame. Okay, so the only thing I do outside of work is go to movies because I work 90% of the time and I can't wait to see a movie. So, like, it's become my full time job to like schedule it out because it's so rare, but not two weeks in advance. And I. Not more than two weeks anymore. But so I have like a list, amc, a list where you get like three movies a week. You pay monthly for it, whatever. And I always, like four movies. Always comes out that I really want to see, and I can never schedule the fourth one and it drives me insane. And I'm like, what do I do? I have to choose between one. This is awful for me. And then I. I went to schedule one the other day and I was like, oh, I already reserved three. I won't be able to do this fourth one that I really want to see. And then I guess at some point they updated it and they added a fourth availability. And I was like, seriously? And then I booked my fourth and I was like, all my dreams came true.

[Lizzie]

So you can see four movies every single week?

[Shane]

Yes.

[Lizzie]

And you do that?

[Shane]

No, you can only have four reservations at a time. So I have four reservations in the future. So.

[Lizzie]

Whoa. Did you see Final Destination?

[Shane]

Yes.

[Lizzie]

Me too.

[Morgan]

No spoilers.

[Chris]

We did.

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah, we all went. I was so pissed. I was like at the Montage in Laguna beach, living my life, drinking my, like, overpriced martinis. And Shane's like, I really want to see this movie. My whole YouTube homepage is spoilers. And I'm like, go to the fucking movie on your own time. And then we're sitting at the Sinopolis, like the nicest movie theater ever. And I'm like, can you believe this?

[Chris]

Can you believe was being outrageous?

[Lizzie]

Can you believe this?

[Morgan]

He sent me a picture of it too. Like, now I have to sit here. He's eating like an artisan pizza with, like a beautiful cocktail prepared.

[Lizzie]

Next.

[Ryland]

Yeah, it was amazing.

[Lizzie]

It was Shane's like, one wish. And I was like, can you believe this?

[Morgan]

Seriously?

[Ryland]

Said Rylan in true Shane fashion. We had a spread. All the theater food you wanted.

[Lizzie]

He's a feeder for sure.

[Ryland]

Yeah, it was good.

[Shane]

That theater is incredible, though. It's not theater food. It's like good quality food.

[Lizzie]

It really is good. We had a great time. They were snoozing the whole entire movie, but whatever. During that Movie complaining, but I did.

[Ryland]

Pretty good this time. I. I stayed awake for most of it.

[Lizzie]

Most.

[Chris]

I fell asleep after the first tower drop met up was great, though.

[Lizzie]

Spoiler.

[Morgan]

You guys went late.

[Lizzie]

It was a night. Well, I was like, I am not going at 7pm the sun isn't even setting yet. I want to watch the sunset at the beach.

[Morgan]

If you go to a movie at like 9pm you're going to fall asleep in it. The chairs recline.

[Lizzie]

You're.

[Ryland]

And In Denver, it's 10. Don't say that in front of Shane.

[Lizzie]

He doesn't like that.

[Morgan]

I don't even understand.

[Lizzie]

He doesn't like when we flex the time change when we're like.

[Chris]

We're tired.

[Lizzie]

And I'm like, well, Shane, it's 10pm for them. He's like. He hates it. And Morgan will be like, we've been here for a week. You've adjusted to the time.

[Ryland]

Okay, I have.

[Chris]

My.

[Ryland]

Seriously? Okay, okay, okay. My seriously is I found out I'm going to work, wake up every morning, and. And so I'm saying, seriously, you're gonna drop the swap?

[Shane]

Whoa.

[Lizzie]

Seriously, you're spoiling this before it's out.

[Morgan]

That's a huge drop.

[Ryland]

I thought you had already said it once.

[Chris]

She's dropping the swap.

[Ryland]

Okay, we gotta come up with a new one. And cut that.

[Lizzie]

Whatever. We'll leave that as it is.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Morgan]

Seriously.

[Lizzie]

So both of you have had Disneyland experiences within the last week?

[Morgan]

In fact, we have.

[Lizzie]

What are you guys doing there without me?

[Morgan]

You were invited to mine.

[Lizzie]

You invited. Okay, whatever. Let's start with Chris. Chris, why were you at Disneyland and what were you doing?

[Shane]

Well, I rarely go to Disneyland. Like, I went in high school and then once for a Shane video, and then this time, like, super rare thing for me. So I was very excited. But I have these friends that moved out of state that we used to be so close, and she had a kid. She wanted to take her kid to Disneyland for the first time ever, which I thought was a really fun idea. And she's like, I want you there. And I was like, oh, my God, that'd be incredible. And it was just. It couldn't have been a better day. Like I was telling Vicki earlier, it was one of those days where, like, we. We got together and it's been like a long time since we hung out, but it was a day where, like, it felt like no time had passed. And we were laughing so much, our faces were hurting, and, like, it was just like a. It was like a beautiful, perfect Disney day. Where it was like. We were all laughing. Her daughter was so excited to see it for the first time.

[Lizzie]

What age?

[Shane]

And she loves.

[Lizzie]

Wow, that is fun.

[Shane]

And she loves. It's funny. She loves to Star wars, but specifically Darth Vader. And she was, like, so excited to see, like, Star Wars. Galaxy's Edge of the Star Wars Land. And she was like, where's Darth Vader? And Rey went up to her. The character Rey from the movie, the good character Rey's like, oh, who's your favorite character? And she's like, darth Vader. And she's like, darth Vader. She's like, yeah, you're whatever. And it was so funny, though. And it was just the best day ever.

[Lizzie]

And did you do Guardians of the Galaxy?

[Shane]

It was only Disneyland, so we didn't get a duke here.

[Lizzie]

Kidding.

[Shane]

But it was really fun. It was a perfect day.

[Lizzie]

That is fun. It's awesome. Did Billy love Disneyland?

[Morgan]

Billy loved Disneyland. I'm still tired from Disneyland. That was him the whole time, just sucking on every surface he could get his mouth on. I was like, well, this is where we get meningitis. No, Billy had a great time. My goddaughter Lily, and her family. Her entire family, including her grandpa.

[Lizzie]

Does Lily still watch the set? Be honest.

[Morgan]

Yeah, Lily's probably watching right now. Hey, Lily May.

[Lizzie]

Hey, Lily. I know that I'm your favorite uncle. Ry. Rai. Hey.

[Chris]

And if she's not watching, then she won't say anything, and that's how we'll know.

[Lizzie]

Haley, send us a video.

[Morgan]

Haley, send us a video. Haley. So I took Billy to go meet Papa Joe and Ashley and Joelle at Disneyland because I was going to take him to the USC graduation. I'm sorry, is. This is. Seriously. Did you know that usc, one of the most prestigious collegiate institutions in the nation, has decided to host a series of graduations in downtown Los Angeles on a fucking Friday at rush hour?

[Lizzie]

Oh, are you stupid?

[Morgan]

Usc. Seriously? It took me three fucking hours to get to USC for this graduation.

[Lizzie]

I'd rather my kids go out of state to college than to usc. I am not going downtown la.

[Morgan]

I swear to God. Before I left the house, I was like, I'm so proud of Ashley. Way to go, girl. Getting your masters. Getting a 4.3 GPA. You go, girl. Every second I sat in that car, I lost pride in you. I sat in that car thinking, how dare she? What a idiot.

[Lizzie]

My kids are UCLA or Santa Monica Community College, and that's it.

[Chris]

What do you have against usc?

[Lizzie]

I'm not trying to count.

[Morgan]

You hear my story.

[Lizzie]

Have you ever driven downtown?

[Morgan]

Downtown is not it. Downtown is not for anyone. Downtown is not for us.

[Lizzie]

And Lizzy and I aren't west side girls either. But I'd rather go there.

[Morgan]

I would rather go to the west side than downtown la, bro. I went to downtown LA is a cluster any day of the week. But a. A fucking Friday at 4:30.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Are you stupid? Are you the dumbest motherfuckers on the face of the earth? Let's have 95 commencement ceremonies, ponies at 4:30 in DTLA. Grow up USA, you idiots. So you think there was no food? I had. That's why there's peanuts in my car right now. I was goddamn starving. A six hour trip. I was gonna bring my kid so he could meet everyone there. Because I was like, I'm too pregnant and tired to go to Disneyland. And then when I started looking at the time it was gonna take to get to dtla, I was like, I'm fully booking Disney right now and we're taking him tomorrow. So we took him. He loved Buzz Lightyear and he loved It's a Small World. And then we had to exit the fire exit at Haunted Mansion.

[Chris]

Oh no.

[Lizzie]

It broke down.

[Morgan]

No, he was not having it. Oh, it was too close to nap time and he was too tired. And so he started getting like. He started crying because it was so dark in there.

[Lizzie]

His cry face is devastating too.

[Shane]

Oh, it wasn't too scary.

[Lizzie]

He like hyperventilates. Oh. And then he frowns really devastatingly and it's like. I've never seen something more heartbreaking.

[Morgan]

No, it's sad. And then when he's really upset or like injured, his face turns beet red and his little tongue shakes. It just shakes out his mouth. It's awful. Jane's here.

[Lizzie]

Okay, we're gonna roll out. I think we should just stop and start again real quick.

[Shane]

Yeah. Okay.

[Lizzie]

Not during the Haunted Mansion.

[Shane]

Take three. A mark.

[Ryland]

Oh my gosh. I thought Chris was doing that.

[Lizzie]

Shane, show us nice and freezing in here.

[Morgan]

Come on, Shane, show us your pubes.

[Chris]

Say that.

[Ryland]

Oh my gosh. We can't say that. Lizzy.

[Vicki]

Why is it so cold in here?

[Morgan]

It's up.

[Ryland]

For change.

[Vicki]

I just wanted to come say hi cuz I was getting lonely.

[Chris]

A Did you not have therapy you just now?

[Vicki]

No, I did.

[Lizzie]

So I asked Chris what he learned in therapy today. Can you tell us what you learned in therapy today?

[Vicki]

What did Chris learn in therapy today?

[Lizzie]

He learned that he can't future panic or what is it called?

[Shane]

Future trip. Yeah, that's my problem.

[Lizzie]

So his therapist put a two week limit on future tripping.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Vicki]

So you're only allowed to freak out about things that are two weeks.

[Shane]

Well, focus, because I'll focus on things like a year in advance. And like, it's just too much. And so she's like, try not to go past two weeks. That's your goal.

[Vicki]

Okay.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Vicki]

Oh, I love that.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Vicki]

What did I talk about today? You.

[Lizzie]

You told me you don't talk about me.

[Chris]

You must have done something maddening.

[Vicki]

No, I wasn't talking about you.

[Lizzie]

Did I do anything crazy this week?

[Morgan]

The back and forth on these mics.

[Lizzie]

We'll just share yours. Okay.

[Morgan]

Vicki told the audience that I showed her my pubes.

[Ryland]

Yeah. No. Yeah.

[Morgan]

She started describing my pubes and I'm still.

[Vicki]

You've seen her pubes?

[Morgan]

No, but she really. It sounds like she has.

[Vicki]

I honestly feel like your pubes are kind of brown.

[Morgan]

Oh, you're not wrong. I have like calico pubes.

[Chris]

Like his beard a little bit.

[Morgan]

Yeah. Well, no, his beard's more ginger and gray than my pubes.

[Vicki]

Good for you.

[Morgan]

Thank you.

[Vicki]

Wait, Vicki.

[Lizzie]

What do you guys think about Shane? Do you get. Take your guesses. Is it red or brown?

[Vicki]

Her family.

[Ryland]

I am not. I am not going there.

[Vicki]

I need to. It depends if the sun hits it. The sun has never seen it. Never. Also, Spencer might be just getting here. This is sad. Now he's. He's.

[Morgan]

No, he's gonna be lonely.

[Vicki]

Vicki, what were you talking about?

[Lizzie]

Well, no, I was just saying my mom hasn't really had an opportunity to, like, showcase her greatness in this episode.

[Chris]

Oh. Because it's so goddamn bright in here.

[Ryland]

Because she's so cool.

[Vicki]

Oh. Oh, look at those.

[Lizzie]

Pretty. We just announced. Seriously? And the melting of the kids cake.

[Chris]

Oh. Tell everyone about Cake Gate.

[Vicki]

Cake Gate. Wow. Thank God there's a new gate.

[Ryland]

I assumed you were going to order a new one.

[Vicki]

Chicken Gate program.

[Morgan]

Sorry, program.

[Vicki]

Like, never mind. The bleep program.

[Lizzie]

Oh.

[Morgan]

Dang.

[Vicki]

Right. Okay. Wait, Vicki, what are you talking about?

[Lizzie]

Well, no, we need to interview my mom. Like, what's a hard hitting question for her?

[Ryland]

No, no, we don't. I'm good.

[Chris]

You're a mom.

[Vicki]

Is really. You've had a fascinating life. We were talking about this the other day. What was the thing you told me about your early 20s? That was insane. What was it we were talking about?

[Chris]

Drugs.

[Lizzie]

No.

[Vicki]

Was it drugs? What was it? It was on my podcast.

[Ryland]

Going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

[Vicki]

Maybe that was it. You had a lot of gay friends. Didn't expect that.

[Ryland]

And, you know, at the time when the Rocky Horror Picture show was out, this was really back in the 80s, I believe. No, yeah, it was more in the 80s. I said 90s. They would actually take rice. So in the wedding, there's really. The audience starts throwing rice.

[Vicki]

Rice gate.

[Ryland]

And if it's. If it's raining, they're spraying squirt bottles all over Watergate.

[Morgan]

Yeah, well, there is a Watergate.

[Vicki]

No?

[Morgan]

Yeah, Nixon's Watergate.

[Vicki]

What? Actual water?

[Morgan]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Oh, wow.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Vicki]

I thought you were talking about us wasting water. Which. Well, Vicki, what was a typical Friday night for you when you were 18 years old? What would you go out and do with your. Your gals?

[Ryland]

I don't know why we have to interview me, but. No, actually, we would go to a place called Paved Road.

[Vicki]

Ooh, is that your pubes?

[Lizzie]

And do what?

[Morgan]

Sadly, no.

[Ryland]

And so, Rocky Road.

[Lizzie]

Rocky Road.

[Vicki]

Rough terrain.

[Ryland]

Oh, my goodness.

[Vicki]

Potholes.

[Ryland]

It was close to the. It was in between our house and this and Salt Lake International Airport.

[Vicki]

Okay.

[Ryland]

And so we would have a big bonfire out there just on this paved road. There's nothing out there.

[Shane]

Sorry.

[Vicki]

I know you don't like the fire crutch thing. Sorry, sorry.

[Ryland]

I didn't really like fire. Okay, so then everybody would drink.

[Morgan]

That's all you would drink?

[Ryland]

What do you think, Lizzie?

[Morgan]

Yes.

[Lizzie]

Yes. And they would. Wouldn't you guys, like, crew? What. What would you call it?

[Ryland]

Cruise. State street, too?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, they would cruise up and down State Street.

[Morgan]

What is that?

[Lizzie]

They'd all pitch in gas.

[Morgan]

I was gonna say. Is that gang activity? No, cruising State.

[Shane]

She was in a gang?

[Ryland]

Well, maybe. No, I.

[Vicki]

You would get sucked into a gang, and I feel like you'd be like, well, they're really nice people. And then the cops, like, interview. You're like, were you around for this murder? And you're like, well, they didn't mean to do it. They went a little too far.

[Chris]

No. You want to know the most mom story of all time? I was working in high school at Plato's Closet. That crazy ass consignment store made $7 an hour, right? So think how long it took me to raise a hundred dollars to buy homecoming tickets. Okay, I'd have $100 to buy two homecoming tickets because once again, I had to pay for my day.

[Lizzie]

Like, I took a guy and you had to pay for him.

[Chris]

Why do. Why is that, like, normal now, anyway? No, mom, listen.

[Ryland]

Okay, I don't remember.

[Chris]

So I raised up a hundred dollars Working at Plato's Closet, telling people that their clothes were outdated because they didn't want us to take anything. Okay? So I put the hundred dollar bill in my backpack, and I was gonna buy homecoming tickets after school. This. This raging that everyone knew was, like, the worst. And I'm only comfortable saying that she was a. Because she was, like, genuinely mean to, like, the. The ILC Kids. Okay? She steals my hundred dollars out of my backpack. I sat in front of her in school, and, you know, you put your backpack under your chair, came back from the bathroom, my hundred dollars was gone. And she had already left. You know, she had, like, fled the scene. Okay? So I'm outraged. I go to mom. I'm like, this. That. Bullies the ILC Kids, stole my hundred dollars. And I was all fired up because I was like, it took me a week to earn that much money at Plato's Closet. And mom said, you know what? You can't be mad at her. And I was like, why? And she was like, because God might have known that she needed the money more than you did because you have a job at Plato's Closet and can make it again.

[Ryland]

And besides that, she was in the girl Scouts on the same. In the same troop as Morgan. And so it seems like we need to confront that.

[Morgan]

Get a cut of the hundred dollars.

[Ryland]

But make this public.

[Chris]

We.

[Ryland]

We just need to just. I didn't.

[Morgan]

What was the troop Number?

[Chris]

6,000, 407. Oh, I hated that. There was this girl that was always talking about a rash cream, and I.

[Morgan]

Was like, it was me.

[Chris]

Anyway, that's like, typical mom. She was like, you can't be mad at the girl that stole your money. She probably needed it. And that was a good life lesson.

[Vicki]

But then also, she likes watching high speed chases that end in death.

[Shane]

What?

[Ryland]

I've never seen one end in death yet.

[Morgan]

But she hasn't given up hope.

[Chris]

Hope.

[Ryland]

But yeah.

[Vicki]

And she likes true crime. It's very confusing.

[Morgan]

Yeah, she's a mixed bag, that Vicki.

[Ryland]

See, so I'm. There's layers. I don't know.

[Shane]

I relate to a lot of that, though.

[Vicki]

Maybe it's a cancer thing you watch.

[Lizzie]

High speed chasing too.

[Shane]

Well, no, true crime. And then also, like, being. I don't know, some. Some. I'm not saying you are, but sometimes I am naive with people, you know?

[Chris]

Yeah, there's a lot of cancers in the room.

[Lizzie]

Wow. There are. Oh, my God. We're outnumbered.

[Morgan]

Should we leave?

[Shane]

But Shane's not like that.

[Chris]

They're gonna empathize with us. We Gotta go.

[Vicki]

I'm feeling things.

[Lizzie]

Two of the cancers have been to therapy today. Here we go. Okay.

[Vicki]

Oh, Chris.

[Lizzie]

You and Chris. Do you really want to talk about JoJo real quick before we leave?

[Morgan]

Are you kidding me? Of course.

[Lizzie]

She can't shut up talking about JoJo.

[Vicki]

JoJo slander.

[Lizzie]

No, it's not. No, no. We're only fans of JoJo. JoJo here. Okay.

[Morgan]

No, literally, I subscribe to JoJo's only fans.

[Chris]

She has an only fans.

[Lizzie]

I wish where she's sleeping with her new boyfriend.

[Morgan]

JoJo's a boyfriend? You guys.

[Ryland]

I know.

[Shane]

She's officially.

[Ryland]

Yeah, I think that one day big, I'm no longer just a lesbian. I'm queer.

[Morgan]

Oh, I didn't even see that headline. You saw that headline?

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Morgan]

Was that today?

[Ryland]

No, it was like three weeks ago.

[Morgan]

Dang.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

So you're behind. Behind.

[Morgan]

I'm behind the times.

[Ryland]

You really are.

[Morgan]

Well, she's been on like a press tour in this guy and she's like every picture she's showing online is like he's holding her and hugging her and kissing her forehead.

[Vicki]

Jealous?

[Morgan]

Of course I'm jealous. I just think it's crazy.

[Lizzie]

So is it a confirmed relationship?

[Morgan]

I mean, it's. Yeah, right? Am I wrong? I wish any of you cared.

[Ryland]

I care.

[Chris]

Lizzy.

[Morgan]

Yeah, let's get JoJo on the podcast.

[Vicki]

Do it.

[Lizzie]

I'll do it.

[Ryland]

Yeah, she would do it.

[Lizzie]

I will definitely have JoJo on the podcast. It's like a safe space.

[Shane]

Lizzy, would you freak out?

[Morgan]

I was. I would probably not be able to say a word. Hello, JoJo.

[Ryland]

You know what she might say. I'm not coming on your podcast because you stole my shoes. You never returned them.

[Chris]

You could bait her back with you don't care.

[Vicki]

We have offered so many times.

[Morgan]

Trick her into coming here to get her shoes. Like a trick. Crap.

[Lizzie]

I think she likes that we have them. I think you know, like, I've offered them back.

[Vicki]

It's like a serial killer. They leave little.

[Chris]

Comparing her to a serial killer.

[Vicki]

She is genius. She kills it.

[Morgan]

And she's so beautiful. Seriously.

[Vicki]

Wait, so the Seriously podcast, You guys dropped that today.

[Morgan]

Oh, yes.

[Vicki]

Talking about it.

[Chris]

We dropped the pod.

[Vicki]

Wait, are you filming an episode soon?

[Chris]

I think that we could film one today and maybe at the pool. Well, I was thinking for our first trial run, we could do one by one. Everyone gets like a little 10 minute tidbit where we get to talk about their seriously. Personally.

[Vicki]

It's like speed dating.

[Chris]

Yes. We're going to do a speed dating.

[Lizzie]

Oh, No, I revealed my. Seriously on this one.

[Chris]

Better think of another one. You're quick on your feet.

[Vicki]

O. I love it. Wait, it's in the pool.

[Chris]

Well, it doesn't have to be, but he was saying that we have to swim today, and then we have to go to In n out, and it's a busy day.

[Lizzie]

We are backed. We don't. No, I mean, we don't have to do anything else for me today.

[Vicki]

And we have the case cake.

[Lizzie]

And we have to get a cake. I already vetoed that because we're leaving so early tomorrow morning.

[Vicki]

We could get slices.

[Chris]

What is wrong with the cake? Is it so bad that we can't eat it?

[Morgan]

It's pretty up.

[Lizzie]

Oh, we can go film taking it out.

[Vicki]

It might have melted and molded together a little bit. Did you tell Chris? The drama?

[Shane]

The drama.

[Vicki]

He's gonna have it as his. Seriously?

[Shane]

What?

[Vicki]

I did something.

[Lizzie]

Chris, wait.

[Vicki]

What? I'm so sorry. Rylan told me not to. You didn't you tell him about this?

[Lizzie]

I don't know. Oh, my God.

[Shane]

No, I'm stressed.

[Vicki]

Let me break. Let me. Let me take you back to the scene of the crime. It was last night at 2 in the morning.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God, Chris, I've been trying.

[Morgan]

No, no, no.

[Lizzie]

This is it.

[Vicki]

Let me tell the story.

[Lizzie]

I'm just saying I'm advocating for myself. I have been trying. I have been standing up for you, and my husband will not listen.

[Chris]

Oh, I know what you did.

[Vicki]

Okay, let me set the scene. Okay, so about, I don't know, a month ago, Chris texted and was like, hey, I'm at the grocery store and they have all these crazy ice creams, and they're all like, you know, like, cereal flavored ice creams. Should I get them? And I was like, oh, my God, that would be so fun for an after sip. Yeah, you should get them. And Ryland's like, yeah, yeah, get them. Like, okay. So Chris brings them, and a few days later, I'm like, looking through the freezer. I'm like, what are these? And Ryland's like, oh, those are for the after sip.

[Shane]

Those are the.

[Vicki]

The ice creams. And I was like, okay, but that crispy treat one looks really good. So I don't think he'd mind if I just took a little bite. And then he's like, no, you have to wait for Chris. He bought them. It's the after sip. You cannot do it without us. And I was like, okay, fine. I let it go for a week. Right now we're a week Later. And I'm like, every week.

[Lizzie]

I mean this after every week, I tell Chris, like, we're gonna do it. And then he gets here, and I'm like, chris, I'm dying from the fast food we ate.

[Vicki]

Okay, so now it's been a week. And I'm like, all right, these are start. These are gonna go bad.

[Shane]

No, sorry. My monitor cut on one, but it's.

[Lizzie]

Their cameras died.

[Ryland]

That's okay.

[Vicki]

It must have just happened, though.

[Ryland]

You got enough of us?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

You can finish the story.

[Shane]

Okay. Okay. Are you sure?

[Vicki]

Okay, so. So then it's been, like, maybe, like, what, a week? I feel like they might be going bad at this point. Right?

[Morgan]

Yeah. I'm just like, when ice cream definitely.

[Vicki]

Goes bad, like, we shouldn't need to do these. When's Chris gonna be here? Oh, not till next month. I'm home. My God. Okay, whatever. So then next Monday comes around, ice creams are still there. Haven't done the after sip. You forgot again. I'm like, oh, my God. Now it has been a month. And I look in the fridge and it's two in the morning and my cake was set on fire. I don't have anything sweet to. To eat. And I see the crispy tree ice cream, and I'm like, I'm taking a scoop.

[Chris]

Good for you.

[Vicki]

That turned into two. That turned into three. Oh, my God, it is half gone.

[Lizzie]

And I knew he couldn't not double dip, so now it's, like, not safe for everyone.

[Vicki]

So then I was like, like, okay, no, I didn't double dip. So I didn't double dip. So then I was like, okay, here's what I'll do. I'll just postmate it and I'll, like, replace it, and no one will ever know.

[Shane]

They're done with it.

[Vicki]

They're gone. It's over already. So now it's ice cream gate, and I'm the problem. So it's me, Reddit. So then now I'm like, what do I do? So then I'm like, well, maybe he just won't notice that this one's gone. But then I'm like, no, I picked the best one, the Rice Crisp. And it was. So was it good?

[Morgan]

It was Rice Krispie treat.

[Vicki]

Marshmallow flavored ice cream. Marshmallows. Puffy marshmallow twirled inside of it. No chunks of Rice Krispies. Remember the Rice Krispie ice cream sandwiches we had? They were not great. They were okay.

[Morgan]

No, I didn't have them, but I.

[Vicki]

Know the crunch of it. Ooh the crystallization. So I'm gonna. I will find some today. I will replace it.

[Shane]

So jealous.

[Vicki]

And I promise, promise at some point on the Patreon after sip, there will be not just one, not just two, there will be seven.

[Lizzie]

Well, here's the thing. I'm gonna pay Chris for those ice creams, but I think we could just find.

[Vicki]

That was a month ago.

[Lizzie]

No, I haven't. It's okay.

[Vicki]

He's a problem.

[Lizzie]

But hey, gate. Now I really want to try the Pop Tart ice cream sandwiches that everyone's.

[Chris]

Already trying, but I can't find them because there's only one Walmart in California.

[Vicki]

And they're all sold out there. I feel like we're.

[Lizzie]

We.

[Vicki]

Never mind.

[Chris]

We're going to middle America tomorrow. We can get the popcorn Pop tart ice cream.

[Lizzie]

All right, well, we didn't get to Hot Topics, but that's fine. We had a great time. That was a super hot topic, Morgan. Mom, thank you so much for joining us today. Make sure you subscribe to Morgan's Patreon. It is linked in the description section below. My mom has a fantastic Amazon store. You can find it in the link in her Instagram bio. Chris actually filmed a video with the Spencer.

[Shane]

Yes. We have two. Two coming.

[Lizzie]

He showed up.

[Morgan]

AI Spencer.

[Lizzie]

Morgan has a theory, but she's already explained it here, so you're gonna have to go back in time. So that will be on Chris's channel when he edits it. And Shane. Oh my gosh. Your homegood video slay mom. Fantastic.

[Vicki]

It's like a month old.

[Morgan]

I also announced my pregnancy on my own channel if you want to go see my announcement video.

[Lizzie]

Oh yeah, but I can also just go myself.

[Morgan]

It's fine.

[Lizzie]

No, she's already done that today. Yeah, Elizabeth is pregnant. And the announcement video where she tells Shane, where she tells Chris, where she tells AI Spencer.

[Morgan]

I don't know if I'm putting Spencer's response.

[Lizzie]

The robot hasn't calibrated to react to that.

[Vicki]

Your hand. Or he's just.

[Morgan]

He's like, oh, congratulations, Morgan.

[Shane]

Are you right?

[Lizzie]

25 year old straight boy. What do you expect?

[Morgan]

He's only 25.

[Chris]

He texted Rylan the day after his birthday and said, hey man, I forgot about your birthday. Happy birthday.

[Lizzie]

It's very Spencer. Like, it's. It's very Spencer. But make. Everyone's links are in the description section below. I'm waiting on the Six Flags video from him. I'm waiting on the Hungry Boy video from him. They're coming soon. All right. Thank you guys so much. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the six sip and we'll see you next Wednesday. We love you very much. Goodbye. And that's the sip.

[Vicki]

Hi, guys.

[Lizzie]

When Chet and Max grow up, they're going to be like, oh, my dad ate at Wendy's for a living.

[Vicki]

We all know that's how relationships work.

[Lizzie]

Is that one person gives another person insurance.

[Chris]

You are bipolar and psychotic, and we can't stand you.