Lizze storms off set...

Summary

The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon

Episode: "Lizze storms off set..."
Release Date: July 29, 2026

Episode Overview

This week on The Sip, Ryland, Lizze, and their friend Chris embark on a chaotic, unfiltered breakfast adventure, blending candid friendship banter with hot takes on McDonald’s breakfast, group chat etiquette, parenting, pop culture, and the awkwardness of being recognized in public. Amidst laughter, friendly arguments, and a few memorable Lizze meltdowns, the show veers wildly between comedic storytelling and court-style debates on modern manners—as well as a classic "Lizze storms off" moment, plenty of over-sharing, and a few existential musings about YouTuber life.

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Major Themes & Key Segments

1. McDonald's Breakfast Saga

00:19 – 22:46

• High-Stakes Breakfast Run: The episode opens with frantic energy as the trio race to make McDonald's before breakfast ends. Anxiety, urgency, and a barrage of playful insults set the tone.
  • "Nothing like McDonald's on a Monday morning, right, girls? The urgency. Get in the car." – Ryland (00:19)
• Drive-Thru Chaos: The order is chaotic, with debates over drinks (Dirty Dr. Pepper, various refreshers) and a struggle to communicate amidst the bedlam.
• Taste Testing: They review new breakfast items, focusing on the new honey brown butter biscuit and an array of refreshers, comparing them to other fast food offerings.
  • "It's like dripping in honey. It looks delicious and ooey and gooey." – Ryland (15:01)
• Breakfast vs. Lunch: Discussion about being "lunch girls" who are now embracing breakfast content, with jokes about how McDonald's breakfast changes their routine.
• Food Trauma: Lizze shares her McDonald’s “trauma,” refusing a biscuit: "You know what, you guys? I'm overwhelmed, but I think I'm gonna go home and get pregnant." (15:15)

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2. Germs, Sharing, and Food Boundaries

06:28 – 13:02

• Sharing Etiquette: Chris' aversion to sharing food but comfort with communal eye drops sparks a debate on personal boundaries and what's considered "germy."
  • "What's crazy to me is you out in these streets eating ass, but you won't share a taco." – Lizze (07:56)
• McDonald's Refreshers: In-depth drink review session: reactions to tartness, boba, and sugary drinks.
  • "Oh, my God. I love him." – Lizze, on loving the black cherry passion fruit refresher (11:00)
• Judgement for Being YouTubers: Meta-commentary about self-consciousness over being filmed and online opinions, culminating in Lizze momentarily "storming off" or threatening to avoid the audience after a drink debacle (11:55–12:39).

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3. Parenting & Oversharing:

19:12 – 37:20

• Mom-Life Moments: The trio share bodily complaints, household chaos, stories about their kids (Max, Billy, Ernie), and struggles to keep tidy homes.
• Vacuuming as Survival: Lizze recounts panic-cleaning her house and proposes buying working handheld vacuums so her toddler can help clean.
  • "This morning, I panic vacuumed my house with little Ernie trailing around behind me... and by the end, he's exhausted." – Lizze (36:42)
• Bathtub Mishaps: Lizze tells graphic stories about kids pooping in the tub and the scramble to clean up, offering a glimpse into the less glamorous side of parenthood.
  • "Joe's solution... was to pick Billy up out of it and then just pour all of the water and the shit into my bathtub..." – Lizze (60:53)

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4. Social Anxiety & Awkward Public Encounters

38:02 – 49:01

• Lizze’s MyGym Fiasco: Lizze tells a painfully awkward story about recognizing (but not actually knowing) a low-key famous dad at her child’s gym class, reciting details of his life from Instagram—and then realizing she confused him with someone else.
  • "I know your child's name without you having to tell me. Like, I know everything about you but your name." – Lizze (41:30)
  • "I'm just sure those are her thoughts... I'm a crazy single white female and I'm in this situation to ruin their entire family..." (43:46)
• Meta Reflection: The trio riff on the lingering awkwardness and social anxiety that follows such moments, with Ryland joking that Lizze shouldn't leave the house without an adult.

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5. “SIP Court”: Modern Etiquette on Trial

75:27 – 96:20

In this recurring segment, the trio debate social norms and rulings in a mock courtroom—often devolving into playful, impassioned arguments.

Notable Cases:

• Leaving Group Chats: Is it rude? Ryland says yes; Lizze argues for boundaries.
  • "Normalize leaving group chats!" – Lizze (77:31)
  • Verdict: Lizze wins this round thanks to strong arguments about codependence and boundaries. (81:00–81:14)
• Taking Food From Others’ Plates: Is it okay? Lizze says absolutely not without a pre-arranged “treaty”; Ryland is Team Share.
  • "If you are taking food off of other people's plates, you are rude." – Lizze (82:15)
  • "If we're dining together, it's my right to be able to at least take a bite." – Ryland (84:12)
  • Verdict: Lizze's argument wins again (87:04)
• Should Guests Help Clean After a Dinner?: Both conclude it’s nice if offered, but never expected (87:29–88:40).
• Rapid Fire “Guilty or Not Guilty”
  • Eating in grocery stores before paying? Not guilty if you pay.
  • Pretending not to see someone in public? Ryland admits to it, Lizze claims she overshares instead.
  • Taking hotel toiletries? All are pro-toiletry-theft.

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6. Memorable Stories & Unfiltered Anecdotes

• Lizze’s Skunk Shaming: A coming-of-age tale involving golf courses, drunk escapades, skunk spray, and existential guilt (53:41–58:24).
• Nightmare Fuel: Lizze recounts a shame-fueled dream involving relapsing, losing a tooth, and having to redo a podcast for Shane’s approval (63:12–67:04).
• Retainer Thief: Lizze’s past as an... “affectionate” retainer borrower comes out, to group disgust (65:43–66:14).
• Crowd Surfing Heroics: Chris describes moshing at Warped Tour, getting sunburned, and his boyfriend rescuing a crowd-surfer (70:02–75:13).

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7. Notable Quotes

• "We're being judged for being YouTubers." – Multiple instances, self-aware meta-conversation
• "It's your personality." – Ryland to Lizze, on what’s really wrong (67:18)
• "I'm not allowed to talk freely?" – Ryland, in a moment of mock storming-off and meta-commentary (28:14)
• "Let me nurse you in front of them so they know you're of my womb." – Lizze, on performative mothering to prove her child isn’t a decoy (49:01)
• "Chris hasn't made his argument!" – Running joke throughout SIP Court, as Chris keeps getting overruled.
• "I am ovulating... I'm ovulating right now. And this is the dress I wore when we conceived Ernie... I'm done." – Lizze, fully leaning into her unfiltered persona (94:34)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Content | Timestamps (MM:SS) | |---------|---------|-------------------| | McDonald’s Breakfast Shenanigans | Food run, menu chaos, taste testing | 00:19–22:46 | | Germs & Sharing | Eye drops, food boundaries | 06:28–13:02 | | Parental Chaos | Home life, cleaning, kid stories | 19:12–37:20 | | MyGym Encounter | Unintentional stalking, social anxiety | 38:02–49:01 | | SIP Court | Group chats, food sharing, etiquette | 75:27–96:20 | | Skunk Story | Drunken shenanigans, karma | 53:41–58:24 | | Crowd Surfing | Chris at Warped Tour | 70:02–75:13 | | Not Guilty Rapid Fire | Grocery eating, ignoring people, hotel toiletries | 89:22–92:11 |

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Tone, Vibe & Listener Takeaways

• Unfiltered, Intimate, & Chaotic: The hosts’ dynamic is both loving and combative; nothing is off-limits. Frequent affectionate jabs, self-mocking, and the occasional existential spiral keep things unpredictable.
• Meta & Self-Aware: The show frequently acknowledges its YouTuber status, audience expectations, and the logistics of being “on camera.”
• Relatable Yet Ridiculous: Parenting fail stories, social blunders, and food drama are exaggerated for comedic effect, but grounded in real life.
• Playful Courtroom Debates: SIP Court injects structure and improv, while illustrating generational divides on social etiquette.

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Most Memorable Moments

• Lizze’s Meltdown: Threatening to storm off after drink drama—"You framed me... You did this to me, you bitch." (12:26–12:39)
• Musings on Group Chat Etiquette: Lively debate, with Lizze winning the mock trial.
• Oversharing About Poop, Pimples, & Anxiety: Numerous stories that toe the line between relatable and TMI.
• Mock Game Show: The “SIP Court” segment is a comedic highlight and ripe for further episodes.

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For New Listeners

If you haven’t heard The Sip before, this episode encapsulates the best (and most chaotic) parts: real friendship, a willingness to overshare, sharp wit, and a dash of pop culture. You'll come for the fast food reviews and stay for the meta-commentary, etiquette court, and off-the-wall personal stories.

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Final Note

The show closes with the trio joking about storming their child out of “jail” and sharing plans for future chaos. As always, it’s both overshare central and fiercely loyal friendship territory—full of belly laughs, “only on the Sip” moments, and a wild breakfast ride.

Transcript

[A]

Oh, girl, I have some drama for you.

[B]

This is crazy.

[C]

I'm done.

[A]

If I'm not allowed to talk freely, I'm not allowed to talk freely?

[C]

No, because my problem wasn't drugs.

[A]

It's your personality.

[C]

It's my personality.

[A]

We're being judged for being YouTubers.

[C]

I know. She's trying to ruin our lives right now.

[A]

She can't go there without causing a scene.

[C]

My stomach is in knots. You fucking frame me.

[A]

Okay, I have a fun game for all of us. Nothing like McDonald's on a Monday morning. Right, girls? The urgency. Get in the car.

[C]

Get in the car.

[A]

Get in the.

[B]

What do you mean?

[C]

Oh,

[A]

I'm with two freaks who don't understand the urgency or the rush of trying to make McDonald's breakfast.

[C]

Listen, I was talking to Chris about why we don't like white women.

[A]

I texted you guys at 8.

[C]

Now you're wasting time. Now where's your urgency? I said, is this mine?

[A]

That's.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Do you see Shane trying it ever?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I think it's mine.

[A]

Good morning. Sabotaging my fucking McDonald's breakfast that I decided we were gonna do.

[C]

Oh, wait, I left something in the car.

[A]

What?

[B]

Just kidding.

[C]

I mean, I did. I left something at Christmas.

[A]

I mean, we're going back.

[C]

I was just joking.

[A]

Here's your dildo. I don't even know if I brought my wallet. I saw.

[C]

I didn't bring my wallet.

[A]

I saw There's a honey something for breakfast at McDonald's and, you know.

[C]

And we're getting a mango pineapple refresher and a strawberry watermelon refresher. And a dirty Dr. Pepper.

[B]

Two, take one. Common mark

[C]

clap.

[A]

Oh, the breakfast menu is.

[C]

Hurry. You have two minutes. No, you're good. Hello.

[A]

Hurry.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

How are you?

[C]

Pretty good at you.

[A]

I'm doing great. Do you have the honey brown butter biscuit? Oh, the combo. Can I get three combos?

[C]

Okay. How many?

[A]

Two. Two combos. Two combos, please.

[B]

Can I get a dirty doctor.

[A]

Can I get a dirty Dr. Pepper? Which do you want? What drink do you want?

[C]

I would like the dirty dogs. I don't know, I just get. Get two of each of.

[A]

What's the other one? A strawberry watermelon refresh. One dirty Dr. Pepper and one strawberry watermelon refresh.

[C]

And the mango pineapple for sure.

[A]

What? Ketchup and sauce? Yes, ketchup, please. And hot sauce.

[C]

And a mango peanut butter.

[A]

Sure. Could I get a mango pineapple refresher? Can I get the pancake plate?

[C]

You're crazy.

[A]

Yes. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. What?

[C]

Bacon, egg and cheese biscuit.

[A]

Well, we got a honey, bacon, egg and cheese biscuit, then I'm just gonna

[C]

shut the F up.

[A]

Do you want another one?

[C]

No. Okay, do we get the sausage burritos?

[A]

And can I get a sausage burrito?

[C]

I don't know if you guys noticed, but I'm skinny again.

[A]

Do you want anything, Chris?

[B]

I'll take one of the sausage burritos.

[A]

Are there two of them?

[C]

I'm also wearing the dress that I was wearing.

[A]

What other drink do you want? What other drink?

[C]

Water, please.

[A]

Oh, and you don't want any of these?

[C]

Oh my God. Black. Move your hand. Black cherry passion fruit refresher, please.

[A]

A black cherry passion fruit refresher. Okay, what size? Medium or large? Just small or medium.

[C]

There were two options. Medium or large.

[A]

And he says, I think that's all.

[B]

Thank you, my friend.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Monday. Monday.

[B]

Monday.

[A]

Wow, flustered this morning, aren' I was gonna say?

[B]

I feel like I'm so impressed how under the chaos that just happened, how you so calmly and smoothly did all that.

[C]

I blocked all of it out.

[A]

Happy Monday.

[B]

Take care.

[C]

Monday, the next day.

[A]

Really? Do you want to Say hi to YouTube?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yay. This is our favorite McDonald's employee. Oh my gosh. Oh, thank you.

[B]

Okay, okay. Have I paid the refreshing.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Literally.

[A]

Thank you so much. Here you go.

[C]

What is it?

[A]

It's for you.

[B]

Next time it's free.

[A]

Next time it's a free drink.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Have a good day.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Oh my God. Cute.

[A]

Nothing like McDonald's on a Monday morning, right, girls?

[C]

Honestly, living, laughing, loving for this.

[B]

This is just evidence. We are the luckiest girls in the world.

[A]

I texted them and I was like, cuz we normally start like meet at the office at 10:30, McDonald's breakfast closes at 10:29 location. And I was like, oh. Nothing quite like the rush of trying to make McDonald's breakfast. Am I right, ladies?

[C]

That. But it was like he wrote a novel of insults to both of us about how we needed to be standing on business.

[A]

You told me that Chris was driving 60 miles an hour.

[C]

Isn't that crazy?

[A]

Yes. He's trying to sabotage the production, hates us.

[C]

He did not want us to be here on road.

[A]

He goes to Warped tour once and he thinks he's better than everyone. I was driving safely.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[C]

You weren't even driving. That was the car.

[B]

That's true. It was.

[A]

Did everyone else fall asleep at 8pm last night? I wish I had.

[B]

No, I Didn't get home until like, two in the morning or something.

[C]

I've been physically unwell since the baby shower. I threw. Someone hold me. My body is breaking down.

[B]

By the way, I was telling Lizzy our people are at Warped Tour. I've never had Warp Tour stop me.

[C]

It is warped to our audience.

[A]

Well, yeah, we're all. We're all. What are you looking for? Just making sure I don't have anything in my nose.

[C]

What would you have in there? Coke, rocks? We're gonna fall out. Hit the microphone. You're gonna pick it up, dust your hair off. It's gonna get stuck on your hairline. Everyone's gonna see it. You're gonna be embarrassed. Are you checking my hairline for Coke?

[A]

No, I'm checking your slick back bun for cleanliness.

[C]

You're not gonna find any here, sis.

[A]

Okay, let's do thumbnails while we're waiting. Sal said he wanted some thumbnail options without food.

[C]

You know what I say to that, Sal?

[A]

Well, he doesn't see this.

[C]

Oh, what does he see?

[A]

Chris takes the screenshots. Oh. Okay. I think we did great. How are you guys feeling? About what? How you performed.

[C]

Not good. I'm gonna be honest with you.

[A]

Thank you. Morning.

[B]

Okay,

[C]

I think we all get them, right?

[A]

Wait, can we get four little water cups? Yeah, get four little water. I'm sorry. Okay.

[C]

Four little water. So here's the crazy thing about Chris. Chris does not want to share food, but Chris does want to share eye drops.

[B]

So in my mind, much like water following a drink, you're like, the drops never touch you.

[C]

Did you hear what I just said?

[A]

Mm. I mean, he literally just got, like, every person's hands at Warped Tour on his body. He wants to carry.

[C]

He said. He said we need to get office eye drops.

[A]

He's.

[C]

That's what I'm saying. That's what you missed. That's what you missed.

[A]

Why are you guys using eye drops?

[C]

He wants to share eye drops.

[A]

I. I mean, he actively wants to share. I will get you eye drops, but I'm not using them, you freak.

[B]

Period.

[A]

You won't even drink our Dr. That's what I said.

[B]

I just.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I just thought. Because they never touch you. I don't know.

[C]

I'm gonna touch you.

[B]

Are you touching your eyes with ice cream?

[A]

They must be making this fresh.

[C]

Mm.

[A]

We're never gonna be able to remember what these are.

[C]

Yes, we are. This is the Peach Mango Boba Refresher.

[B]

Are you excited about.

[C]

This is the Black Cherry Passion fruit. This is the watermelon Strawberry refresher.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

Could I get four extra cups just so we can share?

[A]

These drinks, like, water cups even are fine. Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah. No, I just washed my. Thank you very much. Have a great day. Chris, Lizzy and I will share because we're both germy freaks with kids.

[B]

I. You know, it is weird the things that bother me and the things that don't. No, they're not consistent.

[C]

What's crazy to me is you out in these streets eating ass, but you won't share a taco. Are we just going to go to talk about.

[A]

Oh, I guess we should. We just hit up both breakfasts.

[C]

When are we gonna do this again?

[A]

Next week, I guess. The sip's gonna be on a breakfast kick for the next three weeks. I mean, I feel like we love it. I really did feel, like, a little more excited this morning. Cause we do lunch every week.

[C]

We are lunch girls.

[A]

So I was like, oh, my gosh. Something different.

[C]

We're girls who breakfast.

[A]

Fun.

[C]

Welcome to the Breakfast Club.

[A]

Okay, I guess all of us are

[C]

in trouble and we're gonna write an essay together.

[A]

We'll start with the drinks, I guess.

[C]

Well, start with the drinks, he guesses.

[A]

I've had that dirty diet cooked so many times. I want you to stay away from.

[C]

It's a Dr. Pepper.

[A]

Okay? That changes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That changes things.

[C]

Hey, weirdo.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Are you a good pourer? Should I pour?

[C]

Well, should we mix it first so that he doesn't just get all the cold foam.

[A]

He'll just pour half the cold foam. It will be fine.

[B]

Oh, I'll do my best.

[A]

I think cold foam will stay in. No. Yeah, he can do this. I have faith in him. Okay, there it goes. There he goes. Did you get some. Oh, and he got some cold foam on top. Wait. McDonald's straws are awesome.

[C]

Okay, McDonald's just smells awesome. I wish it didn't make me want to die. Did you guys see this plot twist? They've removed the color. These are translucent straws. Ready? Three, two, one.

[B]

I love it.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

I love a full sugar Dr. Pepper. Fox.

[C]

Where is it?

[A]

Where is what?

[C]

My straw. My family does this thing where we chant and then we say, I love him.

[A]

Yeah. You guys were doing that to my kids this weekend. Did they love it? No, it was. You were there.

[C]

Did they love it?

[A]

It seemed like they loved it.

[C]

I've forgotten everything. I was at the urgent care yesterday. I'm looking for Chris.

[A]

We'll talk about that. Later.

[B]

You were at the urgent care? Yeah.

[C]

Where were you?

[B]

I heard the. The migraine part I missed.

[A]

He was at Warped Tour.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

All right. This one looks awesome. Hold on. What is this?

[C]

What do I do?

[A]

What is this?

[C]

What is it?

[A]

What is this?

[C]

It's a black cherry passion fruit refresher.

[B]

I know a dirty soda is really bad for you, but it's really for me.

[C]

Why is it bad for you?

[B]

Isn't it just more sugar?

[C]

It didn't feel bad for me. It felt good for me.

[B]

Well, then maybe I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong.

[A]

What's on top of this?

[C]

Probably passion fruit or dragon fruit.

[A]

I love some passion fruit.

[C]

I also love. I'm a passionate fruit myself. Did you take your straw out and lick it?

[B]

Just a couple of passionate fruits.

[A]

I definitely did, but hold on. We gotta get Christmas. Okay, that's gonna stain. Yeah. Is that a nostro?

[C]

Yeah, I think it's dragon fruit.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. There's enough for all of us to have a straw for each beverage, so no need to suck the base of it.

[A]

Can I just sift from the top?

[C]

Why don't you just sit from that straw?

[A]

I want to sit from the top because I want dragon fruit. Oh, do it.

[C]

Do whatever you want.

[A]

Add more cups. Oh, I love dragon fruit.

[C]

Oh, then that's for you.

[B]

I'm also a dragon fruit. I love it, girl.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I love him.

[A]

I like that a lot.

[B]

It's great.

[C]

She's tart.

[B]

It is tart. The little bites of the dragon fruit are very tart.

[A]

You don't like tart? What kind of freak are you?

[C]

This reminds me a lot of the one that we had at Taco Bell

[A]

and didn't I love that?

[C]

We all loved him.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

We have the watermelon strawberry.

[A]

Will you put the pictures of these on screen so we know what they are? Chris.

[B]

It feels like I will. This feels like something I've never had at a McDonald's before. Like, they're not usually doing refreshers, right? I'm not used to that at a McDonald's.

[A]

I guess they're really leaning into all the drinks. Chris hasn't got that yet.

[B]

It's okay. I'm sorry.

[A]

Screw Chris. It's okay.

[B]

It's okay. It's okay.

[C]

Wait, it was a fresh. Does it change things if I haven't made physical contact with it?

[A]

He's not gonna do it. I'm sorry.

[C]

Does it change, though? Damn it. That was.

[B]

No, it's fine.

[C]

You're gonna have to cut this out of the podcast. This is gonna kill me.

[A]

This is the one that Kristen on purpose.

[C]

It's okay, I swear. I'm going back and getting a new one. I can't face the audience. Are you fucking kidding? You think I'm gonna come back from that?

[B]

I'll circle back.

[A]

We'll circle back at the end, okay? Oh, whoa.

[C]

Yeah. Don't talk about it.

[A]

It's disgusting.

[B]

No one say anything mean to Lizzy. I love her.

[C]

No, they're gonna say something mean, but it's okay. I'm going back and I'm buying.

[A]

I'm gonna need you, ladybug. These are really good. It's like I watched it happen in slow motion, too. You were like.

[C]

You let it happen to me. No, you fucking framed me. You let it happen to me. You did this to me, you bitch.

[A]

You think I wanna do another sit down where we have to apologize to the audience?

[C]

Listen, has anything ever performed as good?

[A]

You're welcome, actually. Thank you, Shane.

[C]

Thank you, Daddy.

[A]

Shane, we would have never come out of that hole. The show would have ended.

[B]

That would be devastating.

[C]

Oh, look at the fish eggs at the base.

[B]

The fish.

[A]

The strawberry's nice. Do these have, like 80 million grams of sugar each?

[B]

Yes, probably.

[A]

Oh, put some vodka in that.

[C]

Did you get the balls?

[A]

No, I didn't get the balls.

[C]

Here's a bread.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

They really do look like fish eggs.

[C]

You suckled the bottom of that.

[A]

Uh. Oh, they're too small.

[C]

Well, they're small because they want them to fit in the straw without having to give you a different straw. Hello?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

They don't. Okay. Price, efficiency. I like it.

[B]

I love. I love the mango. I'm a big mango girl. I love it.

[A]

Should you just throw it on him?

[C]

He loves it.

[A]

Since he can't drink the strawberry one, just let him enjoy it.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

I want to crush his body temperature.

[C]

Do you know what I do want to do?

[B]

What?

[C]

I want to do that thing where we put goggles on and wear a trash bag and throw drinks at each other and try to guess what the flavor is.

[B]

So funny.

[A]

We can make that. That's, like our one and only. Like, real ever. Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Okay, so what we're. What I'm here for is the honey. I'm so mad that you made me want to share. That's yours. You got that by yourself or no? No. This better have the honey on it. Did they not get special writing for the honey? Because the whole.

[C]

There's honey, there's honey. Chill. Your Ass out the mark.

[A]

The whole marketing of this. The reason I wanted is the honey brown butter bec biscuit. I guess that's bacon, egg and cheese biscuit.

[C]

Yeah, the biscuit biscuit.

[B]

Oh, I see the honey.

[A]

I'm so angry you made me share that with you.

[C]

I didn't. You said, should I get three?

[B]

I said, yeah.

[A]

I said, three meals, please. And you were like, oh.

[C]

And I was like, no, no. You looked at me. Play the ball. Back to bed, girl. I said, yeah.

[A]

Can I get three combos?

[C]

Okay.

[A]

How many? Two. You admitted so much judgment that I walked it back from three to two.

[C]

That's on you.

[B]

That's what literally happened with my boyfriend this weekend, by the way.

[C]

I literally. But I won't eat it, because you know What? I have McDonald's trauma. And I can already hear your hateful comments, even though he's the one who needs therapy.

[A]

No, I could use some therapy. Look at this. It's, like, dripping in honey. It looks delicious and ooey and gooey. No, I'll just take this.

[C]

No, no, no. I want nothing to do with it.

[B]

Oh, it has so much honey. It's dripping.

[C]

You know what, you guys? I'm overwhelmed, but I think I'm gonna go home and get pregnant.

[B]

Wait.

[C]

Oh, so much honey.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

So it's bad. I'm sorry. It's bad.

[B]

Look at this.

[A]

What the heck? This makes me want to get pregnant.

[C]

Should we just get pregnant? Should you call your people and I'll call my people? Could you get pregnant on a day I ovulate? Could we arrange it like that? How organized can we get about being pregnant together?

[B]

If you eat this half, I can still bite.

[A]

Oh, no. She can have this.

[C]

I want nothing to do with it.

[A]

You're not even gonna take a bite?

[C]

I'm disgusted by it looks. Right?

[A]

This is the whole reason we're here. We're being judged for being YouTubers.

[C]

Let them judge. We bought our own cars,

[A]

bitch.

[C]

Your dad still pays for your perm.

[A]

He looked. He looked dead in the eyes when you did that. Good.

[C]

I can't see that part.

[A]

So you're really not gonna even try this?

[C]

I want you to enjoy it. You know, when I circle back to get Chris's refresher, I'll enjoy a biscuit button.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This looks incredible.

[A]

He pulled his shirt off.

[B]

I don't want. Did he?

[A]

Why?

[B]

Oh, he did.

[C]

What the. Are we gonna fight? Should I take my dress off?

[B]

Why? In the middle of this parking lot?

[C]

I think we're supposed to Fight. Should Chris take your shirt off and go fight him?

[A]

Are they gonna. Are they going for a run or are they filming a TikTok?

[C]

What's going on?

[A]

He does have a six pack. Good for you. How do you know I'm eating a bacon, egg and cheese with honey.

[C]

He's changing his shirt.

[B]

This is so pretty. I don't want to bite it.

[A]

It's so good.

[C]

Bite it, Chris. We got to know what it's about.

[A]

And I ate healthy yesterday.

[C]

Oh, what did you eat?

[A]

It's just boring. Nothing here.

[C]

I'm sorry. I'm just getting ready to fight these kids. You know what? Probably what God intended.

[A]

What? He also said, do you want some sort of pie? And I said, yes.

[B]

I couldn't be happier with this.

[A]

We also have the sausage burritos.

[C]

We do also have the sausage burritos. How is it, Christy?

[B]

It's perfect. It's like the honey, the sweetness of the honey, the bitterness of the bacon. Oh, it's so good together.

[A]

It's incredible. It's literally what got. I thought it might have been a knife, so we. Oh, it's a knife. I can cut it.

[B]

This is officially my favorite thing on the breakfast menu. Is this limited time or are they keeping it?

[A]

It's limited time, but it better be, like, forever because it is so good a trend that I can get behind.

[C]

Why don't they do breakfast all morning?

[A]

Why don't they do breakfast all day?

[C]

Oh, that's what I meant.

[B]

Be like checking the box.

[A]

Okay, Lizzie, this whole house.

[C]

The boys are gone.

[A]

Did they just run or run into McDonald's? They're not even going to McDonald's. That whole house for you, but you need to dip it into honey. Oh, my God. I can't eat the whole thing right now. Their biscuits are delectable.

[C]

Mazel top.

[A]

Why do I have the birthday song stuck in my head?

[B]

By the way, if you guys like it. I really don't. We can cut up this whole half.

[C]

You know what? I truly dislike it.

[A]

What's wrong with you?

[C]

I don't like it at all.

[A]

Really? Yeah. What part don't you like? Most of it. Well, she prefers an impossible to eat bagel.

[B]

Wait, what's your preferred? McDonald's. Is there a McDonald's breakfast item you're into?

[C]

I really like the biscuit and a fucking fried egg.

[A]

Oh, you like a fried egg?

[C]

And an American cheese slice. And some snossage.

[A]

This is for me? I knew it was going to be from the picture alone.

[C]

Maybe I'm. I don't know. Am I wrong? I do love a biscuit. It's hard not to like a biscuit. I used to make biscuits.

[A]

I think you might be wrong.

[C]

Something about it is Play doh.

[A]

Y. I think you might be wrong. Well, I love it.

[C]

No, it tastes like Play DOH to me.

[A]

Oh, I thought I was getting, like, eggs and everything with this. Can I get the pancake plate?

[C]

You're crazy.

[A]

Yes, crazy. Do you still want it, or do

[C]

you want me to give it to the naked kid?

[A]

Sabotage his diet? Mm. Hotcake syrup.

[B]

I'm so happy right now.

[A]

It really is good. Are we gonna take. Oh, here. They're back. Oh, they do. They didn't get any McDonald's. That's why he has a six pack and I don't.

[B]

What did they do?

[C]

They just walked away and then walked back? Yeah.

[A]

Nobody knows what those men did.

[C]

I can ask. While we're fighting.

[A]

Should we cut it?

[C]

Cut it?

[A]

The air is going up, you guys. It's so hot in here.

[C]

That burrito is too big. You need to cut it.

[A]

It looks like too much tortilla from first impressions.

[C]

I'll second that opinion. It's like a double down tortilla.

[A]

Or should we cut it?

[C]

I'll cut it.

[A]

We'll cut it. How is the hash brown?

[C]

The hash brown, while slurping on the

[A]

Dr. Pibb, really good.

[C]

Magical. Okay, you know what? Give me a hot sauce, please.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

May I please have a hot sauce? Yeah, of course. I got a hash brown. I fucking did.

[A]

They only give us salsa, not hot sauce.

[C]

I'll take a salsa. I'll take a salsa.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's salsa.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Do you want a salsa?

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Mexican style salsa. This one actually looks like it was pre opened. Can I trade you for a less gross?

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Ew. Oh, okay.

[C]

Saving that one for our fight later.

[A]

All right, I'll dip this in. What do you think we're gonna be like on the actual sit? Not well. I don't think we've ever eaten before.

[C]

We're gonna be unwell. We're gonna be sick, sick, sick.

[B]

When we weren't looking, the shirtless boys stole the rest of my sandwich. I didn't get it either.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

The green chilies in here are really nice.

[C]

I hate it.

[A]

So you don't like McDonald's breakfast?

[C]

I don't like their eggs.

[A]

I think they're creepy.

[C]

They're not.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

They're not much different than, like, a buffet egg, though. And we love a buffet egg.

[C]

I disagree. They're Much different.

[A]

Oh, I thought you were gonna say you disagree and that you don't like a buffet egg.

[C]

And I was like, of course I like a buffet egg.

[A]

I'm not an idiot. You're lying to me.

[C]

I've never lied to you like that.

[A]

That would be some attention seeking behavior. Okay.

[B]

This used to be my go to breakfast for a very long time, these little burritos.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

I was like, a obsessed with them for a while. I haven't had it in forever, but.

[A]

Okay, I'll try the pancake. What flew off of that?

[C]

I don't know, but it was wet.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Did you know in Hawaii, their deluxe breakfast comes with two scoops of white rice?

[A]

Spam Rice.

[B]

Spam. Portuguese sausage. It's, like, very Hawaiian, very specific.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

To Hawaii. It's delicious.

[C]

What island were you going to the most, Christine?

[A]

Oahu.

[C]

Hmm.

[A]

Can I be bothered to put butter on this? Yeah, okay, I can.

[B]

I love this. Purely for nostalgic reasons.

[C]

It is easy to put in your mouth.

[B]

It reminds me. Wow.

[A]

Isn't it, though?

[C]

I mean, I ate the whole thing,

[A]

and I hated it. I cannot believe you liked that more than the others.

[C]

There's something play doh y about the other one.

[A]

I guess I just. I don't know.

[C]

Agree to disagree.

[A]

Yeah. This is open, so be careful, Chris,

[C]

while you guys enjoy the pancakes, should I go get Christy a refresher?

[A]

Are you really worried they're gonna eat you alive?

[C]

Yeah, are you kidding?

[A]

Can you get a fork, too? Mm. I achieved one day of eating healthy. Oh, my God.

[B]

I want to try McDonald's breakfast in, like, every country because they're so different. Is it crazy if we just eat this? Like, a tortilla? By the way, at Warped Tour, during one set, there were flying tortillas. Like, someone was like. It's like they had a machine gun of tortillas really shooting, like, wow. Never seen that before.

[A]

Mmm. Oh, my God. The pancakes are fluffy, soft, delicious.

[B]

I like these pancakes more than the last time we had ihops pancakes, yo. Oh, so good. By the way, they sang I saw the Used live for the first time ever. I love them so much. And they played the Taste of Ink, of course. And when they did, I was like, I wish Ryland and maybe could be here. Like, this would be so cool.

[A]

I bet. Was it all just so fun?

[B]

It was incredible. It was. I have the time of my life. I'm so sore. I'm in so much pain. But it was so fun.

[A]

How many days were you there?

[B]

Two. Two days.

[A]

Let me try some of this hash brown.

[B]

Yeah. This pancake is a for, like, a fast food pancake is so good, so fluffy.

[A]

It's crazy. I can't eat this apple pie. I've tried it before. It's their new, like, fried apple pie. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All this before 10:42am

[B]

I will say showing up and immediately filming. I'm like, this is. I don't know. This was wrong. I'm confused.

[A]

I was like, we have to go right now.

[B]

Favorite of the new drinks.

[A]

Oh, gosh. Honestly, they're all comparable. Like, I feel like they're all equally as good. It just depends. Like, do you want mango, strawberry or dragon fruit?

[B]

I think I like the dragon fruit still.

[A]

I like the dragon fruit on the dragon fruit. Is it like. I don't even. What is it? Like, fake dragon fruit?

[B]

Yeah, it's like. It was powdery. I feel like. I don't know. We're good. I really love food. I love food too much. It's such a problem.

[A]

I know. Me too.

[B]

I never relate to you more than when you're like, I'm starting a diet this week and then we eat a ton of the sim. That's me most days.

[A]

And for me, it's like more so about, like, feeling good. Like, you put this trash in your body and then it, like, weighs you down subconsciously. Like, you don't even realize how much it weighs you down until you start eating clean and you're like. Like floating and you're like, oh.

[B]

But it's such a bummer because it's so fun in the moment.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Why does it have to feel bad later?

[A]

Okay. We'll be back when Lizzy's back. Goodbye. Okay, rolling.

[C]

Where's this man coming from?

[A]

Rolling. Let Chris do his two take two cone mark. Okay, so tell us about your experience in McDonald's.

[C]

It's only freaking, by the way. Here you go, Chris.

[B]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate you.

[C]

You're very welcome. Here you go. I hope you enjoy it. He hates it. They don't have people in there anymore.

[B]

What do you mean?

[C]

It's only kiosks.

[A]

Wow. And I bet soon they'll probably do that to the drive through too, huh?

[C]

That was truly awful.

[B]

So you can't order from a person?

[C]

No.

[A]

There's not even an option?

[C]

No.

[B]

What?

[A]

That sucks.

[C]

What the fuck is this world coming to?

[A]

I mean, you already know I hate

[C]

it in the end, but that's like. That's not the Business, you know what I mean? Like why?

[B]

What I was saying, the way back from Warped Tour, we hit up Carl's Jr. And it was like one of the was AI like at the. At the drive through trying to take your order and I was trying to do it and we like it wasn't working. We couldn't figure it out. We got an argument with the AI, I asked for a person. We waited for 15 minutes and no one ever came. And like we just left.

[C]

I couldn't have waited 15 minutes.

[A]

What restaurant?

[C]

Carl Jr. Carl's Jr. Also. Doesn't everyone hate Carl Jr.

[B]

I love Carl's Jr.

[A]

It's good in the. Do you want a bite of this?

[C]

Is it new?

[A]

It's the. Yeah, it's the fried apple pie. Maybe you and Chris should split it up.

[C]

Have you guys already had bites?

[A]

I've had no, but I've had one before.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

It's like extra.

[C]

Oh shit.

[A]

Did you like the strawberry one of them? Uh huh.

[B]

Yeah, I love it. If you like it, feel free.

[A]

No, we can't eat that whole thing. She. You've seen her on food, what it does to her. We have to deal with her for the rest of the day.

[C]

On food,

[A]

on chemicals. You've seen how she is on chemicals.

[C]

Can I just throw this out the window? Turn the camera off.

[A]

Is it not good?

[C]

No, it's fine. I just don't want to consume the rest of it.

[B]

So I. My favorite fast food pie is a jollibee peach pie.

[A]

I've never been to Jollibee.

[C]

We should go to Jollibee.

[B]

It's so, so good.

[A]

And what kind of food is it again?

[B]

Sketch mainly like fried chicken and stuff like that. But it's. I think it comes from the Philippines.

[A]

The lady that does my balloon, she loves jollibee and she's like, I see you always eating. I want you guys to go to Jollibee.

[B]

Oh, it's my.

[C]

My lady who does the balloons.

[A]

Is such a funny thing. Balloon architect.

[B]

Jollibee's pies are more fried like this. They have like a crunchy. But theirs are tastier. They're better.

[C]

This is delicious and I'm terrified of it.

[A]

I didn't want to finish it. I felt the same way when I ate it.

[C]

Cause I need to work today.

[A]

I know we have to work.

[C]

You just. Well, let's go now. We need to hurry.

[A]

And I already feel like my belly hanging over my pants now. Great.

[C]

It's crazy for you to talk like that.

[A]

I don't know why I'M not allowed to feel like I need to eat healthy.

[C]

You can feel like you need to eat healthy, but you can't talk about being fat.

[A]

No, no, I have. Like. Even when I was taking a picture.

[C]

No, I have skin, Lizzy.

[A]

Okay, whatever, whatever. If I'm not allowed to talk freely, I'm not allowed to talk freely.

[C]

No, you can speak freely. You can speak freely.

[A]

I had my shirt off when I was doing stretches and there it was folding over my boxers.

[C]

Oh, my God. You were wearing boxers?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Not your slutty pants.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Crazy.

[A]

I was doing my stretches.

[B]

Cute.

[C]

All right, are we hanging up on these?

[A]

Oh, I guess this is the end of the sip. Even though it's just the beginning for

[C]

us, don't you want it to just be the beginning? It's breakfast.

[A]

You gonna make out?

[C]

Yeah. We'll see you guys in the office.

[A]

Are you kidding? Can we do that? Yeah, we just do.

[C]

We just did it.

[A]

Is this legal?

[C]

Yeah. You make the rules. You're the boss.

[A]

Okay, girls, we'll see you in a second. Goodbye. You just made the rule.

[C]

How do I.

[A]

How do you.

[C]

How do I breathe without you?

[A]

All right, you guys, a little bit of real talk as a parent. And when things get busy, when life gets busy, it is so hard to maintain eating healthy. And that is why I love today's sponsor, Hungry Root. Because not only will they help me prepare protein packed healthy meals, they will do all the grocery shopping for said meals and send all that information and food right to my door. It's crazy. It's literally, it's life changing. Not only have I discovered great recipes that have rocked my world, they send it to me and it's just like, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I've discovered so many things that me and my entire family like to eat thanks to hungryroot. And with every single order, their system gets smarter. It gets to know you better and they start. Start predicting what you want more than you'd be able to even if you spent an hour doing so yourself. They have over a thousand grocery items like salad kits, smoothies, and snacks. The variety never gets old, and there's always something new to try. I like that I can trust Hungry Root because they screen out over 200 additives like high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, and preservatives. And all of their meat and seafood is high quality with no hormones or antibiotics. It's honestly so, so great that it's not until I go a week without that I realize how good my life is. With. Yeah. Like, it just. It. It really changes the game. So I know that you're going to love Hungry Root just as much as us. And for a limited time, you can get 40 off your first order, plus you can get a free item in every box for life. You can go to hungryroot.com sip and use code sip. That's hungryroot.com sip and use Code sip to get 40 off your first box. And a free item of your choice for life one, take one. Okay, so what are all these bits that you had that they're gone?

[C]

That's how they go.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It comes in as fast as it goes out.

[C]

Abr always be rolling.

[A]

So you know that your big zit is contagious? No.

[B]

No, no.

[C]

Are you kidding? No, because I'm still dealing with my big zit and you're not dealing with yours. It. So don't act like you're a victim of it.

[A]

I'm saying I'm not dealing with it. So Lizzie, this weekend had, like, I. I mean, I'm not trying to be mean. It just is what it is. She had a crater.

[C]

No, like, on a planet. And I said, a planet.

[A]

You did something funky after you got it, and I. And you were like, is this like. Did Karma know that I was gonna do this?

[C]

What did I. What?

[A]

I can't remember.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

Because I was like, what did you do to deserve that?

[C]

It's. I said, maybe it's preemptive for something that's coming. Something nasty that I'm gonna do that hasn't happened yet because I've been nasty. Nasty. I've been not nasty lately.

[A]

I woke up the next day with a crater on the same exact. Wait.

[C]

Oh, it's on this side, but it's so little. It's like. It's not a real crater. So you don't. Can't even say that. It's literally a. Basically like God whispered and you were in the same room.

[A]

Because I'm trying new moisturizers. This happens every time. I'm trying new moisturizers.

[C]

Did you get Gwyneth Scoop? How's it going?

[A]

I like it a lot.

[C]

The Peptides.

[A]

I like it a lot. It's so there's not a lot of product and it's really dense, so I'm only using it. It beard and above. And then I'm using my water cream beard and necklace. Necklace.

[C]

Did you say necklitage? What if we spent the next 30 minutes just saying.

[A]

Because I'm not. I'm not wealthy. Enough to be using that peptide cream all over my body. I'm sure Gwyneth just goes in with a whole handful.

[C]

She eats it it. She's, like, dipping chips in it. She's like, bethany Frankel spread caviar over her bagels.

[A]

She's like, gotta have these peptides for breakfast. Anyway, I texted Lizzy, and I said, well, yours, it was contagious. So thanks a lot.

[C]

Insensitive as hell.

[A]

Sorry.

[C]

Look at what I'm dealing with.

[A]

You look beautiful.

[C]

You're a lion.

[A]

And you have an 87 readiness score

[C]

from Aura Ring, which makes no damn sense. Which makes no damn sense. Right, Because I am not ready.

[A]

You seem ready to me.

[C]

Since when?

[A]

Right now.

[C]

My sleep score is really what I wanted to talk about.

[A]

Okay, well, I already told them what it was. No, it increased since this morning.

[C]

Girl, there's multiple scores. My readiness is 82. My sleep is 93.

[A]

So then why aren't you more ready?

[C]

That's what I'm saying. This makes no sense. I had the worst nightmare. The worst nightmare? The worstest. Rylan and I in real life are premiering a new show. Well, no, we're premiering a new show. I don't know. It is titled after bedtime talks with Ryland and Lizzie

[A]

for the Patreon, we were workshopping, like, just more sip. And in the future, that could mean, like, we film for 30 more minutes on this couch, and then that goes on Patreon. This time, we were both feeling chatty, and we were both available one afternoon. So I went over, I climbed in Lizzie's bed, and we talked about for

[C]

46 minutes, and he notated how filthy my floors were. So this morning, I panic cleaned my floors.

[A]

Not your floors. You had gracefully made chicken tortilla soup that you shared with me. Yeah, I was eating my chicken tortilla soup, and I went to go put it down while I was setting things up, and I was like, oh, I can't put it down there.

[C]

No, because it's dust. It was like the dust on my dresser is the. The amount of dust you would find in a home that had been, like, abandoned for, like, 25 years with the owner just left all the stuff in it. Clumps. Clumps.

[A]

I didn't even feel putting a bowl with high edges.

[C]

What?

[A]

I thought my soup was gonna be attacked by the dust bugs.

[C]

What are we. What do you do about dust?

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

Like, what do you. How do you get rid of dust?

[A]

You vacuum. You clean.

[C]

But, like, how do you clean up a Wipe. I'm gonna start wiping.

[A]

How can you breathe in? It's so ironic. Because Gwyneth Joe Paltrow.

[C]

No, Gwyneth Palt.

[A]

Joe.

[C]

Joe.

[A]

He is like Mr. Health. Mr. Conscious.

[C]

Triple filters the thing. Yeah.

[A]

But is fine living with dust bunnies,

[C]

with filth, with absolute.

[A]

So, like, it cancels out. And it's like, what are we doing?

[C]

It's so crazy. And I'm like, I. You know, it's just too much. I think we make too many concessions for the awful things in our lives, like the dogs and Billy.

[A]

Well, Lizzy was actually embarrassed about this one because I brought up. I was like, oh, yeah, I couldn't set down my soup. But I'm never judging, Lizzie.

[C]

I wasn't embarrassed.

[A]

But you texted me the next night and you were like, I just want you to know I only don't vacuum because I have a kid that doesn't like the vacuum. And.

[C]

No, the problem is the dog doesn't like the vacuum. The kid really likes the vacuum. So here's what I think I need to do. That's why I said the two vacuums helps me vacuum. Well, that's where I was gonna get to. I think what we need to do is have Montessori this bitch and treat teach Billy to use real cleaning products instead of his toy cleaning products because he wants to be part of it anyways. And it's like, okay, so let him.

[A]

Max is in this phase where he wants to help with everything. And sometimes it is convenient, and sometimes it's like, oh, my gosh, how much can you help me? Yeah, but it's like every time I pull out the vacuum. No, Maxi, do it. Maxi, do it.

[C]

So here's what I think we need to do. Two vacuums.

[A]

Do they have baby Dyson vacuums that don't actually work?

[C]

They don't actually work.

[A]

Oh, no, no. I want one that works.

[C]

Me, too. Me too.

[A]

And I think Max is smart now. Like, he. Our. Our dust is animal fur. Yeah. Like, clump around the house.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And so. But Max, like, knows that's what we're going for is, like, steering the vacuum.

[C]

Should we get them handheld?

[B]

Probably.

[A]

I bet there's good ones on Amazon.

[C]

Maybe we should. Yeah. Let's order handheld vacuums so that we can vacuum my house again.

[A]

Because by we, you mean Billy.

[C]

Me and Billy. So it's like, so Billy gets a vacuum, Mama gets a vacuum. And we just do it. We just do it. So this morning, I panic vacuumed my house with little Ernie trailing around behind me because you know, he's just barely crawling. You know, he's crawling pretty fast. Yeah, he crawled all the way around the house this morning. Followed me everywhere. I went vacuuming.

[A]

That's pretty cute.

[C]

It was pretty cute. And then by the end of it, he's exhausted and he's a little sick, so he was like, I need you to pick me the fuck up. I need you to pick me up right now. I followed you around the living room. I followed you down the hall. I followed you back to the dining room. I followed you back down the hall. We went into my room. We went into your room. I've been in your bathroom. Now you need to pick me up.

[A]

Did Joe sleep through all this?

[C]

No. Joe was taking Billy to school.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Pretty cool.

[C]

Pretty cool. Pretty. Pretty cool.

[A]

Pretty cool. Yep. So do you want to. I think we should just jump in with a banger. The nightmare you lived last week.

[C]

Which one? Which nightmare?

[A]

There were multiple nightmares from last week. I don't know. Ever since she signed back up for my gym, it's like she can't go there without causing a scene.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

And we talked about one on our Patreon podcast, the Sip After Dark. But then it's like her talking about that semi publicly brought upon something even worse. Okay, we're gonna bring to all of you right now.

[C]

So what you don't know, what you guys don't know is I signed my tiny baby Ernest up for my gym. My guy loves it. It's for him. It's a vibe. But I had taken Billie out of my gym because I didn't realize it was for big babies. I thought it was just for little babies. But when Ernie and I showed up, there's a big kid class right beforehand, and those kids were living, laughing, loving. Yeah. And not only that, but it seems to be a really good space where they teach them actual, like, listening and following direction skills. Well, that's in a really fun way,

[A]

because my kids aren't in daycare or preschool, which I'm still not sure the difference.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I enjoy my kids going to those sort of classes because it teaches them the social element, but also, like, structure and routine. And we're, like, listening with the group. Yeah, we're following the group. We're doing things in an order that is, like, orderly.

[C]

Yeah, okay, same. I like it a lot. That's why we did soccer. But the soccer was kind of a died.

[A]

And you stopped.

[C]

Oh, yeah, we stopped. I'm not paying for that anymore.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It was absolutely. Whatever. That's A whole different kind of just like. Okay, I was not pleased.

[A]

It was like $100 for 18 weeks. So, yeah.

[C]

Which is a lot of money when you break down the math. And it's truly 18 pennies per Saturday. What the fuck? So anyway, I signed Billy up and then I take Billy the next day because it's also a nice thing for me to get to do with Billy. I pick him up from school, we go get an acai bowl, and then we go to my gym together.

[A]

Where are you getting an acai bowl from?

[C]

Right next door to my gym.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

It's boba time or something.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

There's no such thing as boba time.

[A]

I'm sure there is.

[C]

Is there a boba time? Of course there is. Yeah. So anyways, my stomach is in knots. I don't know if we should talk about it.

[A]

We have to. We have to. My voice is cracking. I'm so excited for you to tell this story.

[C]

So one thing about me is if I've you and you know somebody that I'm, like, marginally interested in, I probably follow that person, too, because that's how social networking works in my mind.

[A]

I mean, listen, if you don't have a private account, you're asking for it.

[C]

Yeah. If you're posting stuff on the Internet, you want me to follow you. You want me to know what your wife looks like. You want me to know where you got, like, your wedding venue, what she wore on the wedding day when you got pregnant, your birth announcement, all of it. Your first trip to Disneyland. If you have done it and you have posted and you are in my orbit, I know about it and it's in my little mind. And I think, I know you, but we've never met. So I'm in my gym with my big boy, Billy, minding my own business, when somebody walks in the room. And I go, I know him. I know that guy. So he walks in and I totally remember where I know him from. He comes over and I'm like, this is gonna sound so weird. Do you know this guy? And he goes, yeah, I know that guy. And I go, it's Lizzie. We met this one time when I was in his apartment having this thing from the honey Goes, I've never been to his house. And I was like, huh? He's like, I've never been to his house. And I was like, that's weird, because I really know you and I recognize your wife, and I know you got married at Universal Studios and that you guys just went to Disneyland and, like, you worked on that TV show, right? Like, you did this thing and then

[A]

that thing that out loud.

[C]

A lot of these were internal thoughts, but they were all flooding and I was like, no, like, I know you. Like, I really know you. Like, I know your child. I know your child's name without you having to tell me. Like, I know everything about you but your name. Like, I don't know his name, but I know all of these things. I'm a pictures girly, not a words girly. Anyways, time goes by and I realize I don't know him. I've never met him. I just know of him because there was another person in the house that day who was a writer on the show. And so I went and followed him on Instagram. And then I realized that this other guy, who's just a director, also a writer, he has movies that we have seen in theaters. Like, this guy is low key, famous.

[A]

The one you approached.

[C]

The one that I approached is low key, famous and has like a verified Instagram account that's not paid for.

[A]

Oh, you know, a hot tip. Morgan was telling me you can tell the difference between a paid for and a not paid for.

[C]

What is it?

[A]

And that the difference is when they comment on somebody else's post, it won't show up. A verified check.

[C]

Oh, really?

[A]

Whereas, like, if. Because I have a real verification check, not to flex. If I were to comment on your post, my check would show up in my comment on your post, but if you paid for it, it wouldn't show up. So you can see who's. I wouldn't say desperately, but who's.

[C]

Who's authentic and who's purchased.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Okay, can we check this guy? So the next time I'm at my gym, I'll be like, I noticed you bought verification. So, yeah, don't know. This guy scared the out of him. I'm pretty sure, like, basically sounded his

[A]

resume off to his face. Even though she had never met him

[C]

before and he's there with his wife, I don't even look at her because I'm dying of anxiety the entire time. And it's like, I should have said something because now in my mind, my crazy mental thoughts are like, she thinks we. She thinks I had Billy just as a decoy here to meet him again in public. Maybe it's his love child. Probably not, though. All of these thoughts are just flooding my. It's like, obviously I'm a crazy single white female and I'm in this situation to ruin their entire family pregnant just

[A]

so that she could go to my gym. Just so that she could approach him. Just so she could take him from his wife.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And start a new blended family.

[C]

I'm just sure those are her thoughts. Thoughts.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Do you know what I mean? Because, like, those would be my thoughts. If any woman ever came up to my husband and didn't look me in the eye and say, hey, I'm so and so. Nice to meet you. Sorry I'm a crazy.

[A]

And you do have some association with somebody he knows.

[C]

I have association with somebody he knows. But also, all of this could have been privy based off of Instagram.

[A]

But do you follow him?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So did you have to go unfollow him?

[C]

I should.

[A]

Or did you DM him?

[C]

Have I ever DM'd him? Because I also really did think he was this other guy. And he was like, no, I'm not that other guy. And I was like, oh, weird.

[A]

I knew she was at my gym and I was like, oh, girl, I have some drama for you, so call me once you get out of my gym. I tell her my drama and she goes, that's nothing.

[C]

Oh, thank God I've never messaged him. Okay, so how do I follow you back? No, I don't think so.

[A]

Gosh, this is embarrassing.

[C]

How do we know?

[A]

So are you going to run into him every single week now?

[C]

Let's pray not. Let's pray not. What do I. Wow.

[A]

He has big movies.

[C]

I know. That's what I'm saying. We've all seen his movies.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. This isn't.

[C]

That make you want to kill me? So I said, ryland was like, you should.

[A]

You all say to him, like, were

[C]

you, like, too much? Literally, I was like, you made this one show. And he went, I mean, yeah, I did, but I'm not that guy. And I was like, cool, cool, cool, cool. He's like, do you think I'm so and so? And I went, yes, I thought you were so and so. And he was like, no, I'm not.

[A]

So he's like, I'm. I'm so and so.

[C]

And this whole time, his poor wife is standing there and I'm just like this. You know what I mean? Like, not acknowledging this poor woman over here. If this ever happened to me, Joe and I would get in the car and be like, you fucked her. I know you her and I know she's trying to ruin our lives right now. And you better just fess up to this or I'm going to kill you and everybody you love. And that would be really hard for me because he's my husband and I love him. But like, you know what I like, how does she think anything else?

[A]

And the worst part is, you know that they're like my gym goers because their daughter was wearing a my gym shirt.

[C]

Yeah. So I really ruined that place for that whole family. Ryland was like, you can't go in public alone anymore, Joe, or I should be with you. And I was like, well, what are you going to do in that situation?

[A]

Like stop. You just be like, how do you stop to go?

[C]

Well, then we started laughing. We started laughing cuz I was like, what are you just going to do? Say shut the up. Just shut the up. Don't go over.

[A]

Because she has this thing, like once she steps in it, she can't just like reverse or be like, oh, wrong person. I used just to like spout the entire resume and like make it weird, weird, weird, weird, weird. Until you guys are looking each other in the eyes and it's like so uncomfortable that the other person just has to be like, okay, I'm gonna go.

[C]

Yep. And you know what? Honestly, I used to think that was the play because I'm like, if I let them know that I know that this is awful and weird, that it'll be less awful and weird. But if I had said all of that, if I had looked at his wife and like, I didn't fuck him and stalk you here, that's what she would think. And I was also talking to someone else about this because I keep telling my nanny, like, don't be afraid of me. What do you. And then I hear you in my voice quoting Oprah, being like, people are going to tell you who they are. Oh my God.

[A]

What?

[C]

My phone screen is open and I clicked his link tree or something. But can you. We're gonna have to edit all of this. If you can see his name in

[A]

the bottom of the screen, look around 16 minutes, Chris. And if you can see his name on the screen, then just take me

[C]

out back and kill me.

[A]

But no Final Cut Pros advance their blurring system. Now you can like select it and it will analyze the whole thing.

[C]

I'm so sorry. Also, do you guys think I just video called him and said all of this? This. Oh my God. Do you think he's following me?

[A]

Oh, she's following me.

[C]

He is not following.

[A]

Okay, what about me or Shane? I don't know why he would follow us. He's not like an Internet person. He's like a director. Rude.

[C]

No.

[A]

Okay, okay. He doesn't like us. Whatever.

[C]

Wow. So that's where I'm at in that regard. I think I'm just gonna. But this is the thing. I always really do think that if I just, like, acknowledge to somebody else how absolutely batshit I sound, that they will feel safer. But then I remember that normal people don't have to remind other people that they're safe around them. And the amount of times I have had to tell people you're. I just want you to feel safe around me is, like, the biggest red flag. The biggest. Like, why do you feel the need to tell me you're. It's like I'm like. I'm like that witch enhancer and Gretel, where it's like, no, you're safe with me getting my oven.

[A]

I just don't know what it is in your brain that, like, if you already step in it, you just have to double down to somebody's face and, like, look them straight in the eye.

[C]

I don't know what it is. I just thought we could all be rational people on that front. But now I'm realizing, and now I don't know how to handle it past that point. So the real lesson in this is I just should talk to no one.

[A]

And I think your advice. I know. That's why I said you shouldn't leave the house without me or your husband. Husband. A kid's not good enough. The kid can't save you from you.

[C]

And then I felt like I had to be, like, really performative with my motherhood to Billy so that they knew that he was truly my kid and I didn't just kidnap him so that I could go to my gym and break up this family. Because I am the other woman. And why does my mind.

[A]

You know me, right?

[C]

You know me, right, Mama? Boo, boo, boo, boo. Tell them. Let me nurse you in front of them so they know you're of my womb. Let me pull out my titty and nurse you in my gym right now so that this woman knows I didn't kidnap you to bring you to my gym to break up her family because I'm having a secret affair with her husband. And if they haven't been fighting over me all week, I'm gonna be so goddamn mad.

[A]

What are you gonna do if they're in the class again this week?

[C]

Should. I'm not gonna.

[A]

You have to bring Joe. You have to.

[C]

I know, but I can't bring Joe because we have a situation with. We don't have a nanny.

[A]

Oh. It's later in the Day.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Senjo alone. Send Joe with him. This.

[C]

I literally signed Billy up so that he would like me.

[A]

The house is divided. Ernie's with Lizzie, Billy's with Joe. In terms of, like, who their person is, Billy's only interested in Joe. Ernie's only interested in Lizzie.

[C]

This is devastating.

[A]

Oh, should I not be saying that much on the Internet?

[C]

No, no. Who cares? Who cares? Everything I've already said on the Internet. You know what I mean? I'm have. I've literally written my own anxieties into this woman's brain, and they're such psycho anxieties. Like, why do I think this?

[A]

Well, you know what could help that? Anxiety. A little shopping spree on quints.

[C]

Oh, my God, you read my mind. Because, you know, I be dipping and doing the damn thing up in Quince. Quince has set me up for the summer. I'm not kidding you. I have been wearing their European linen T shirt. It's a little short crop sleeve thing with a cute little pop collar. I put that.

[A]

Is that what you were wearing at breakfast this weekend?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And she goes, I was wearing this when we were at Disneyland, actually, I wear this every day. And, Joseph, that is her uniform.

[C]

No, it's literally all that I wear. I got it in white and I got it in black, and I put it on, and I look so. Right rich. And that is one of the things that I love about Quince, because you can look like a million dollars. You can buy all of these staple items and then some, and you're not breaking the bank because they provide you luxury items at an affordable cost. It's awesome.

[A]

It is really cool. She's wearing their biker shorts right now. And I do have to say I'm not. This ad isn't about their bedding, but Quince has literally everything on their website. Yeah, Lizzy, I sat in Lizzie's bed and I was like, oh, my God, this is the. The softest bedding I've ever felt in my life. And she said, it's quints, and I'm actually gonna buy you some. She's like, you do so much for me. I'm gonna buy you Quint's bedding.

[C]

No, I. I literally bought.

[A]

Has it arrived?

[C]

Not yet. But I bought that bedding before I had Ernie because I was like, I'm not doing postpartum outside of bed sheets like this. I had actually gotten a set of their bamboo pillowcases as, like, part of a brand deal. And I felt them, and they were so soft that I went back to Quints and spent my own money on getting the full bed set. Because I will be damned if I don't spend my entire postpartum life in these bamboo bed sheets. And it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. I went back and got myself three pairs. I got J. I got James some. I got you some.

[A]

It's like the whole site's incredible. You can get amazing fashion for yourself, for your man. I have a lot of Quint's pieces myself that I thoroughly enjoy. Like so much so that I wore it on my birthday last year.

[C]

I also like their poplin. I like their. I have a poplin dress that I got from them that I also feel like I look really rich and beautiful in. I have a really cute. You saw me in that pink shirt shell top. That's Quince. It's the softest cotton and it fits my body so snugly without being tight and showing like bad parts of my body. It's just cute. I literally just ordered some 14 karat gold earrings from Quince. And what I really like about their gemstones is they're conflict free. They're lab grown diamonds. You're still wearing a diamond, but it comes with like out the negative conscious part of it. And, and I really love these items because they become family heirlooms that aren't tethered to the negative things that diamonds often are.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to quint.com the sip for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Oh my God, you guys just got so lucky. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com the SIP for free shipping and 365 day returns, quint.com the SIP guys, if you haven't been

[A]

on quints, you're gonna shop around, you're gonna order some things and you're gonna thank us later.

[C]

That's the fun about Quint's though, is because you can go there for something that you genuinely need, but then you can stick around for stuff that you also just want.

[A]

And because it's well priced, you could probably get both things for the price of one thing at a different brand.

[C]

And that's the girl math of it all. Because you've really already spent the full price in your head because you needed the thing. But at quints, you can get the thing and that's something.

[A]

Yes. Thank you, Quince. Thank you so much. All right, so. Oh, my gosh.

[B]

What?

[A]

Sorry. Lizzie has more stories Than me this week. But I. I was mad at us when we didn't circle back to your skunk story. Because when I was saying, oh, Riley got skunked, you said, I got skunked. And I was like, oh, this is performative.

[C]

It was, Yeah. I had been. I have been skunked in my life.

[A]

Okay, tell me, what age were you Approximately?

[C]

I was 17 and a half, maybe. Bordering on 18. It was fresh age. I must have been 18, because it was, like, summer before college. My best friend Katie and I worked at a movie theater. We used to get really drunk there all the time. So we got drunk at the movie theater, and it was after hours, so it was night, and I lived on the back of a golf course. Like, the house that we lived in, the backyard opened up onto a golf

[A]

course, and so were balls flying into your windows constantly?

[C]

Shockingly, no.

[A]

Never.

[C]

Never.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Never. But when the cops would break up parties at my house, they would drive onto the golf course and come up the back to try to catch kids jumping over the fence.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And this one kid, one time was exiting a party, and he decided to drink and drive on the golf course, which was his choice, not mine.

[A]

That's crazy.

[C]

And he blamed me for his DUI forever. Like, I was a bitch. That Liz McGarry's a bitch. I got a DUI when I left her house. It's like, I'm sure a lot more

[A]

than that driving on a golf course.

[C]

That my fault, though.

[A]

Do you know how people. How crazy people are about even driving your golf cart on golf course lawns?

[C]

No, I never really thought about it, to be honest with you.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

I just took it really deeply, personally that this guy hated me. And, like, there would be functions where I. They'd be like, you probably shouldn't come because you know he's there and he hates you cuz you got him a dui. And I was like, I don't think

[A]

I got him a D. That's crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Nobody's respons. Nobody shoved alcohol down his mouth.

[C]

No.

[A]

Nobody asked him to get in his car and drive, let alone drive on

[C]

the golf course, bro. That was a choice.

[A]

Should we call him right now?

[C]

Now?

[A]

We can't hash this out.

[C]

You can't for other reasons.

[A]

Oh, what did he.

[C]

Well, you know, he might have had more legitimate reasons to dislike me later on in life, but at this point in time, I had nothing to do with it.

[A]

Let's see. You got him back.

[C]

No. Okay, so karma's just crazy.

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

Karma's crazy. I have a pimple. His life is ruined. It's too, like, you know, where everybody's even. I'm just joking. His life's not ruined. He has a great life. He's. Whatever. Moving on. Katie and I, I'm pretty sure we had probably just been drinking in the cry room of one of the theaters, watching and singing along to Mamma Mia.

[A]

Okay, Amanda Seyfried. Yes, I love her, by the way.

[C]

And afterwards, we were walking home, and a shortcut from the movie theater to my house was through the golf course. Course. So we're going through the golf course and we're, like, giggling, and we're, like, drunk. And I was like, I'm gonna take a. In the golf hole.

[A]

No.

[C]

Yeah. And I was like, how funny is it gonna be if I in this hole and somebody tomorrow goes to get their ball and they put their fingers in? My

[A]

God. Just when I think. I think that you can no longer surprise me. You surprise me. You're a surprising.

[C]

Yeah. And then I'm like, why do I have bad karma for why do I have this pimple of karma face? Is it because I tried to in a golf hole? Or is it because I've broken up this poor family who's just trying to enjoy my gym together? I don't know.

[A]

You should have walked away and said, I'm married, by the way. This kid, his parents are happily together. I only about his father publicly, on the Internet.

[C]

The worst part of that whole interaction was I had the pimple already. And I had the pimple patch on, and it was full of white pus because it was such a big pimple.

[A]

The car and look in the mirror,

[C]

and I just want to die. I just want to die. So I'm trying to shit in this golf hole. What are those called, Golf holes?

[A]

Yeah, you would call it a hole in one.

[C]

So I'm trying to shit in this little golf hole. I don't know. I can't hear anything, but there's fluff all over my snoot. And as I'm like, you know, pants pulled down, trying to shit, a huge fucking skunk rumbles by. And I scream and Katie screams and we try to run for our lives, but it's too late because the screaming was enough to set the skunk off. And he sprays. So we get sprayed by the skunk and we run into my house and we're like. Yeah, we run into the house. We're like, what do we do? What do we do? And we're all drunk. I Don't know if my dad was home or not, but we decided the best thing to do would be to smoke a swisher and take a shower. I think we might have showered first, then swishered because we thought the swisher would really clear out. The smell of the skunk. Like. Like. Like incense. But it's like a grape swisher. Swisher. Oh. So it was skunk and Swisher.

[A]

Grape Swisher.

[C]

The summer of Skunk and Swisher. And a coming of age story by Lizzie Gordon read by Lizzie Gordon.

[A]

I'm guessing it comes off easier than, like, animals fur because you have skin.

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

It still stank to high hell.

[A]

Okay. Gosh, those skunks.

[C]

The golf hold is called the cup. I was gonna take a. In the cup.

[A]

Well, nobody.

[C]

Two girls, one cup. And we were all.

[A]

Nobody calls it a cup in one.

[C]

Yeah. Why don't they call it a cup

[B]

in one entire playing area? Area from start to finish is called a hole.

[A]

Oh, okay. No, I know. Okay. I make sense.

[C]

The 10th hole. I think I lived off the 9th hole.

[A]

So. Billy in the tub.

[C]

Oh, my God. I guess that's something that runs in our family. Trying to in things. That's not even the crazy part. Billy's been in the tub his whole life.

[A]

I know.

[C]

And every. I've brought it up here before. Like, I hit my mom group. I was like, how often are your kids the tub? And they were like, never. And I was like, shut up. You lie.

[A]

Like, never I can recall is Disneyland. And it was just because we were eating so irregular. And then he did say, tummy hurts. And you would have thought I would have known that you knew.

[C]

You knew.

[A]

Get him out. But then I just risked it because I was ready to get the bath over.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But then it turned into just, like, way harder of a bath.

[C]

Billy didn't say anything.

[A]

Fishing. Fucking shit out of what was bath with a paper cup that I could find in the hotel.

[C]

What was so crazy was Joe is standing in the bathroom with Billy, and I'm not. I can't even fully see him. I can only see his reflection kind of in my bathroom door. And it's not like my bathroom door is a mirror. It's just like glass, so you can kind of see the reflection in it. And I go, joe, he's. And he goes, what? It's like, open your eyes, bro. You're right in front of me. He's like this. He's standing like this. And I like, I'm Joe. You're Billy, you're. I'm in a different room, seeing a reflection off a wall, and I go, bro, He's. And then he pokes his head out of the bathroom to look at me. What? What do you mean he's. Open your eyes, Helen Keller, you crazy idiot. Jesus Christ. He couldn't tell me to shut the up in public because he would never notice when I was down one of my rabbit holes of destruction. He would never know. I could pull my pants down and in front of this family at my gym, and Joe wouldn't even notice. I'm sorry. Then Joe's solution for the. In the bathtub was to pick Billy up out of it and then just pour all of the water and the. Into my bathtub, which has a bath mat in it. So it's got in stuck in all the suction cup areas of it. And not only that, but it, like, hits my loofah. So now we have to wash the baby bathtub and my bathtub.

[A]

Those little mats, too.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, and so then, like, really sweetly to him afterwards, I go, hey, baby. Not that I think he's gonna the bathtub again, because he has every day since he's been alive, but the next time this happens, let's pause before we start to just panic, move, and, like, not pour it into the bathtub. Right. Like, let's not clean the toilet. Yeah. Like, let's. Maybe we'll do it in the toilet. Or, like, let's just pause and think about it. Like, oh, it's just kind of a turd. Like, let's pick up the turd and throw it away.

[A]

Like, then dump the water.

[C]

And then dump the water. But, like, let's not just, like, jump right to mass destruction. Okay.

[A]

And is he, like, making loud noises while this is going on?

[C]

Joe? Like, oh, no. But he did act like I was verbally assaulting him, even though I conjured the grace of God to be sweet and kind to him in that moment. Like, I know I was passive aggressive with you just now, but, like, with Joe, I was like, hey, like, next time he shits, like, let's just pause for a second, think about how to handle it and not pour it into the bathtub.

[A]

I could see how he could get offended, though.

[C]

It's like, yeah, but it's also like, then, then, then. Then think about it. You crazy? If you already. If I know it's not. I'm the. I'm not even that smart. I'm not even that smart. I couldn't even. In the ninth cup on A golf course. I'm not that smart. I know. I couldn't get it out and then

[A]

I got scared by the skunk, so God intervened. Yeah, that's crazy, isn't it?

[C]

I did ruin that family, though. I did do that. And if I do nothing else with my life, I can always say I broke up that family. Oh.

[A]

Nothing's in my nose, right?

[C]

Do you feel like you have fluff all over your snoot? Yeah, me too. I think it's this blanket dude.

[A]

You think so?

[C]

Yeah. What else is happening? I mean, I don't know. I told this story to Spencer off camera, but every week, I don't know if you've noticed, I've brought up the fact that I did see weapon.

[A]

No, we get it.

[C]

I'm really upset about it and I'm really traumatized.

[A]

Thinking about it really scared the out. Tell us about your dream. You said I had the worst dream last night. But you never followed up.

[C]

No. So my dream was that Shane hated after bedtime talks with Ryland and

[B]

she.

[A]

She kept trying to pitch that as the title. I was like, first of all, it's so confusing.

[C]

Is it? It rolls right up the tongue.

[A]

She's like, how about she is like two parents during nap time.

[C]

Two parents talking during nap time period. Straight to the point. You get it.

[A]

I think the sip after dark conversation, more uncensored. Cuz that's what it is.

[C]

A hushed conversation between two friends while both of their children are asleep on Patreon.

[A]

I'm not bleeping her, I'm not stopping her. When she talks about celebrities, it's like a smaller audience. So no.

[C]

But here's what's also crazy. I'm quieter in it. So if you have a heart, if you're. If you're one of those people who's rapid fire commenting all the time, hey, it's the day that ends in wine. Is he screaming again? You know where I'm not screaming after bedtime? Conversations with two best friends, one of which is male, his name is Rylan. And a female counterpart, Lizzie. Both are gay, presenting only one of which does homoerotic things in present day. That's the title. It's not that hard.

[A]

I think it's crazy because I was like. I was nervous to do it at her house because I was like, I don't know if your family can see you like this or if you can do what you do here in front of them because half of it's talking about them, including your nanny. Like you're always praising Your nanny. But you're loud about her. Oh, she knows, and she's heard, and she was silent. She's in that bed, and she's just, like, the calmest she's ever been.

[C]

Yeah. So if you want something that's a little bit different, if you've been looking for Lizzy, but less, catch me in my bedroom having a hushed conversation with my best friend.

[A]

That's actually. That went up yesterday, so it's already live. We were flirting with doing it in the future, like, I don't know, after we filmed this. We'll see, we'll see, we'll see.

[C]

Anyways, my nightmare was that, right. That Shane watched it and was like, oh, it's really bad. I don't like it. You guys can't use this.

[A]

I mean, how different could it be from what we do? I mean, it's just two best friends talking, which is all the sip is, Wasn't it Nightmare.

[C]

So I'm having this nightmare where Rylan's like, I have to come back over. We have to refilm this. Whatever.

[A]

I would never be.

[C]

No, you would never.

[A]

I would never come refilm something.

[C]

And then he goes, but Rylan and I had been on vacation in my nightmare, and we had both been drinking excessively, and I was blackout drunk.

[A]

So you had relapsed.

[C]

But it. But I hadn't relapsed. In my dream, I was like, no. Like, we'll go talk about sobriety and stuff. Like, I just have to get drunk right. Right now. And you were like, no, Lizzy, you have been drinking. You don't have sobriety. And I was like, what? And then I realized I'd been wearing a retainer that didn't belong to me because I used to do that, but

[A]

you need to bring that here. I'm sorry if you've heard this story before, but Joe exposed this sick ass as a retainer thief. She would.

[C]

I wasn't. Other retainer. I asked. I asked. No, listen.

[A]

What kind of fetish is that?

[C]

It's not a fetish. Don't fetishize.

[A]

Hold on, hold on. If that's not acting on lesbianism, I don't know what is. She said, only one of us is acting in homosexuality. Ness.

[C]

Okay, whatever.

[A]

Stealing another woman's retainer and putting it in your mouth is far more sexual than something going in your vagina.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

I feel like that's way more intimate than, like, having sex. No, putting somebody's retainer in your. Your mouth. You get mad that I eat what's on my flosser.

[C]

That is really gross. I'm not eating. What's on?

[A]

Have you seen somebody take out a retainer?

[C]

Yeah, but I'm like, cleaning the retainer before I wear it in my mouth. Here's the long story short of my nightmare. The retainer wasn't made for my mouth, so it fucked up how my teeth were. And every time I looked in the mirror, I had to be like, oh. And my teeth had come loose because of it too. And my front tooth came out. So not only was I blackout drunk, Shane hated the after after bedtime conversations with two gay presenting co hosts. One is male and one is female, having hushed conversations while their children sleep, but we had to re record that exact show. And I had no front tooth and I was drunk.

[A]

That's a really bad day for you because you've got like a decade sober.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Am I lying? Is it a decade or seven years?

[C]

Over a decade.

[A]

It's over a decade.

[C]

Well, it's over a decade of no alcohol, and then it's under a decade of no drugs. I mean, because my problem wasn't drugs.

[A]

It's your personality.

[C]

It's my personality.

[A]

Her personality is what's broken.

[C]

As you can tell, you guys, I'm what's broken. Drugs and alcohol were my solution, and now it is. God. And being of service.

[A]

You don't need to tell her. She knows.

[C]

You don't need to tell me. I knows.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

No. Oh, sorry. The black tea is kicking.

[A]

Oh, yeah, she did.

[C]

I got a migraine this weekend. Oh, I really hoped the top was gonna pop up off. I guess we have to end the show now.

[A]

That's it. You got a migraine?

[C]

I mean, I'm really disappointed in how that all.

[A]

We had a play date this weekend. It was fun.

[C]

It was fun. Oh, you know what? We should do something cute. What Billy said, and that's the sips.

[A]

Well, no, we're not done. No, you can do that at the end. No, save it for the end.

[C]

We're not gonna remember.

[A]

No, we are.

[C]

No, we're literally not.

[A]

Yes, we are. Chris, write it down.

[C]

Chris isn't gonna remember, okay?

[A]

We have a lot of things to get.

[C]

Let me just.

[A]

I prepared a game for us.

[C]

Oh, play it first.

[A]

There's an ad. Thank you, Se we love you so much. Se is the number one rated ticketing app. They have over 70,000 events on their platform. And that's from anything to concerts, music festivals, comedy shows. I mean, literally anything you want to take it for. SE has got you Covered. I got my tickets to Monster Jam there. We recently went to Hillary Duff. We went to Katy Perry. We went to Taylor Swift. The list goes on and on and on. They have over 35 million downloads. This app is so legit. And what I love about Seak is they rate every ticket on a scale of 1 to 10. Look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad, and every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And there are fantastic artists on tour. Right now. We're talking bts, Ariana Grande, Demi Lovato, Morgan Wallen. Who else are you wanting to see?

[C]

Alex Warren?

[A]

Ella Langley.

[C]

Not Ella Langley.

[A]

I think she's on tour. Yeah.

[C]

Crazy. Is she the one who sings? She's from Texas. I can tell by the way he's two steps and around the room.

[A]

Did you watch the music video?

[C]

I can't, but I've heard it's sad.

[A]

Why can't you?

[C]

I mean, I can't figure that out.

[A]

You know, it's on the platform that we work on, YouTube.

[C]

Oh. I was like, what is that?

[A]

And let me tell you, Reese Witherspoon's daughter is in it among a bunch of other stars. Loved it.

[C]

Joe is obsessed with that song right now, too. Maybe we should go to Ellen Ling.

[B]

I would.

[A]

Oh, Michelle Branch. We're considering, period. So many incredible artists are on tour. And SE is offering you guys 10 off your next of tickets when you use our code, the SIP10. You can also click the link in our description section below that will download the app for you and automatically apply our code. So it's just sitting there waiting for you to use it the next time you go to buy your tickets. Of course, that's code the SIP10 for 10% off your next set of tickets at Seatgeek. Thank you, Seatgeek. We love you so much. Okay, I want to hear about Chris going to Warp Tour.

[C]

Oh, no, I would just. It's funny that you phrase it like that because we all know that's where he got hep C. Oh, I know.

[A]

I told Chris 400 times. I said, don't come to work today because you're sick. You're sick, Chris. You're sick. And he said, I tested for the flu and Covid, I'm not sick. And I said, only time will tell. You got home at 2pm or 2am last night. You're sick.

[C]

You're sick.

[A]

You're sick. Christopher, look at this video that he said sent us of everyone at Warp Tour touching his body.

[C]

Wait, he sent us a video of him?

[A]

Crowd Surfing, of course. And I said, well, that's where you got covet. Oh, that's where you got hep C. Oh, that's where you got the common cold. Stay away from us, brother.

[B]

Lizzie was listing diseases in the car that I probably.

[A]

Well, Chris was like, 10:30 tomorrow. And I was like, if you're not

[B]

carrying 405 disease, I will say I don't feel sick. Last time I felt sick.

[A]

So what was the highlight?

[B]

Oh, I mean, the used for me was the highlight, really. That's where I crowd surfed. I'd never seen them live. There were a band I was obsessed with for my entire life that I was, like, dying to see my whole life, since I never got to see them. Finally got to see them. And it was, like, so nostalgic, so fun. When they played the Taste of Ink, I told you both that. I was like, I wish you two could have been there, because it was magical. And they, like, brought people on stage and they, like, stopped playing the music. Music. And it was just everyone in unison being, like, singing, like, is it worth it? You know, like, singing it together. And it was, like, magical. I got chills. It was incredible.

[C]

But it was in Long Beach.

[B]

It was in Long Beach.

[A]

Could never be us before, kids. It could have been us.

[C]

Long Beach.

[A]

I would have got a hotel.

[C]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

I would have gone. Did you get a hotel?

[B]

It was funny. We did get a hotel. Yeah. The first time.

[C]

Did you drive up here from Long beach last night?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You slept in Long Beach?

[B]

No, we. We.

[A]

No, not last night.

[B]

No.

[A]

No, I. I drove home late last night.

[B]

Yes, exactly that. But it was funny because I was saying to both you. I don't know if I said this on or off camera, but a bunch of people from who are fans of the SIP and the Pot and Chains podcast, like, came up and, like, I've never had more people approach me than there. So our people are there.

[C]

Hey, guys.

[B]

So Sweep. And one of them gave me this bracelet, and it just says Warp Tour. And. And one of them was like, oh, it was funny. There was, like, a couple, and the. The male in the relationship was like, oh, where's Ryland and Lizzy? Why didn't you bring them? And then his, like, wife or girlfriend turned to him and was like, they would never come.

[A]

In a different world, I would be there.

[C]

No, we would totally be there. In a different world, we would totally.

[A]

Without two children, we would be there.

[C]

If it had been at the Forum, we would have been. Yeah.

[A]

No, because I love a lot of the Bands that were playing there. And I like 303. Wow.

[C]

Rylan knows every word to every song of every cool band. Probably performed it.

[A]

I would have been a little too drunk having the time of my life, but it just wasn't in the cards for me this year. No, but I hope that you were a little too drunk having the time of your life.

[C]

Were you a little too drunk?

[B]

I was not too drunk. I didn't really drink at all. I had a sip of the boyfriend.

[A]

Yeah. I guess the only downside this time was the heat was crazy this weekend.

[B]

Oh, it was so insane. I don't burn easily at all. Yeah. I put sunscreen on, like, a light amount, which is more than I normally do, and I was like, I'll be good. And halfway through the day, I was in pain. Like, my things that burnt that I didn't know could burn. Everything hurt and everything. I bought, like, a bucket hat later on in the day because I was like, everything hurts so bad.

[A]

Did you go with a few people?

[B]

No, just me and the boyfriend.

[A]

Oh, you.

[C]

That's so cute.

[B]

And he's great. It's so fun because he's like. He didn't grow up with rock music or whatever, but I remember the first time I brought him to a rock show. He saw mosh pit in person. He was like, what is this? He was terrified. And I was like, I'm gonna go in. You don't have to go. And he was like, oh, okay. And I'm like, moshing. And then I remember, like, halfway through the song, I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I turn as I'm washing, and he's now moshing next to me. And I was like. And so we mosh together. And he loves it, apparently. So now, like, he's with me at the. In every pit, like, throwing me around. When I want to crowd surf, he just throws me on top of the crowd.

[A]

Wow. How many times did you crowd surf? Just the one.

[B]

Twice? Yeah.

[C]

So you're really sick.

[A]

So fun. Can you believe how much fun Chris becomes at, like, a live event?

[C]

I'd let your boyfriend throw me into a crowd surf.

[A]

I'd like, no, I'm too old to crowd surf. You guys can't.

[C]

You know how many you don't have to.

[A]

Do you know how many fingers in the butt and boobs you'd get?

[B]

By the way, he's basically a hero. I don't know if you know, because there was someone, like, he's the one, like, carry every time someone wants a crowd surf. He's picking them up. Every time someone's, like, about to fall, he runs, grabs them, and makes sure they don't fall. Keeps crowd surfing.

[A]

You need that at a concert. You need a hero.

[B]

And then what? But one person who was too far away, a young woman, did fall. They dropped her. She hit her head.

[A]

She was out.

[B]

And everyone was like, oh, no, what do we do? And, like, we couldn't get the band's attention. People were trying to, like, signal, like, an X to tell the band to stop playing. They weren't gay getting it and was like, no. And like, he, like, Moses separated the seas, like, ran through everyone and then, like, got a security guard that's just, like, someone's passed out. Stop playing. And they did, thanks to him. And, like, wow. And they got her. Yeah.

[A]

So do you know if she's okay?

[B]

I. I mean, they got her.

[A]

Okay, so they brought her.

[B]

Yeah. I really hope so.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

She was out cold.

[A]

I'm happy. You got to live your dreams.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

That.

[A]

That I will live. Like, did you vlog? Vlog? Did you get clips?

[B]

I taped some performances of it. I'm going to make a vlog out of it.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Wait. That exhausted me. Hold on.

[A]

Okay. I have a fun game for all of us. Chris, your mic stays on too.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

He's two. Stepping around the R.

[B]

My friends got to meet her and make, like, a little reel with her. O.

[A]

Was she nice?

[B]

They loved her.

[A]

Okay, so this is called SIP Court. We all become attorneys. I've got a name pitch for opposing sites. What?

[C]

I have a pig. A pivot pitch.

[A]

Just two best friends.

[C]

Two best friends legally entangled in incriminating situations where it is unclear what will be ruled upon justly.

[A]

Okay. This is called Sip Court. We become attorneys for opposing sides. Even if. Well, we can take whatever side we want. And then you keep going.

[C]

You keep. You keep going. I'm just gonna take a little break.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

A little rusty. Rest.

[A]

Okay, so SIP Core. Is this approved by the court? What would you. What is the court terminology? Approved or denied? Guilty. Guilty.

[C]

Guilty. Not guilty.

[A]

Is it rude to leave a group chat?

[C]

Guilty.

[A]

I mean, is it.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

I mean, it's really unclear to me.

[A]

Okay, just say yes or no. Is it rude to.

[C]

No. So we're both. We're both attorneys. We advocate. We're all three of us are attorneys, and we advocate for what we think. Right?

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

Okay. So everybody decide. Okay. Ryland, state your case.

[A]

I think if you're leaving a group chat, you are Guilty of what? Of being awful? Of being rude awful.

[C]

Leaving a group chat is rude awful. I disagree, and here's why. I think in today's day and age, text messaging has created a lot of codependency around all of us. Everybody says they're sorry for not being readily available 150% of the time. As a woman who doesn't know how to work technology, the group chats I'm in are the bane of my fucking existence. And I knew how to leave.

[A]

Already fearful of not being included in the mom chat of the group that you're signing up for tomorrow.

[C]

I'm definitely not going to be in the prime, like the premier mom chat group of the group I'm joining tomorrow.

[A]

But you want to be in more.

[C]

It's complicated. The point being normalized. Leaving group chats, all of us should not be readily available. Okay, but normalize muting and. And leaving group chats because group chats are the bane of existence, and more things need to make it out of the group chat and into reality. And if we're all just having these relationships that don't exist in reality, then we're failing as a society. So I would like to say not guilty, your honor. The court rests.

[A]

Okay, well, I haven't given my argument.

[C]

I'm resting. I'm resting.

[A]

It will be a little more peaceful if you're resting for me to give my argument. Argument. Okay.

[C]

Chris hasn't made his argument.

[A]

I know. I think if you. There's this really.

[C]

Objection.

[A]

There's this really cool feature on iPhones where you can mute chats where you just don't get notified. And so if you don't want to be active in it, you just mute it, and you never have to see it and you never have to respond to it, and maybe eventually you'll just get kicked out of it.

[C]

Your honor. Your honor.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I would like to approach the bench.

[A]

Hold on. I'm not done with my argument. And if you must. If you must leave a group chat, you need to announce your departure. It can't just be like, Ryland has left the chat. That is guilty. As that is, like, the rudest thing you could ever do. Stopping replying is way more nice than the aggressive. Ryland has left the chat. Like, ooh, those sting. Ooh, those sting.

[C]

Chris, should Chris just be the attorney who choose. Oh, yeah, you choose to be the judge. You pick you, Chris, you're the judge. You rule.

[A]

And not based on what you think, but based on who the argument was better.

[B]

Oh, no, wait. This Is hard. Do you have final thoughts or do I just have to.

[C]

I get to make one more statement because he rested his case, and I technically rested my case, but then he brought his case back. So really I get to make a

[A]

closing statement, but if I find more information from yours, then I get to come back.

[C]

No, you're rested. Your honor, in conclusion, I would like to state that the state has not provided enough information for you to deem my party guilty. The. The job of this guy was to prove without a shadow of a doubt that what you are doing is rude. And as a matter of fact, I've got some questions. I've got some questions raised. Are we supposed to live and die in group chats? No.

[A]

Picture this.

[C]

We're supposed to. Hey, you've rested.

[A]

I'm. I'm not ready. I get a turn after you.

[C]

No, you do not.

[A]

Only two sentences.

[C]

No, literally. That's not how it works.

[A]

Okay?

[C]

No, that's not what that meant. That meant shit up.

[A]

Just picture this, Chris the sick.

[C]

Picture this. You want to leave your house, but you can't leave your house because you're busy telling every group chat, hey, guys, I'm going to exit the conversation because I'm feeling codependently overwhelmed by every thought that you guys have all day. And by the way, that's sick and toxic, too. Boundaries are for us not to be enforced upon.

[A]

A couple of things. Lizzie.

[C]

A.

[A]

Is the person abusing a group chat, period, making us feel all of the emotions that she's describing.

[C]

No. Literally anytime a person's like, I'm so sorry I didn't reply. I'm like, girl, girl, I could care less. I'm blacked out and I never even noticed we were talking in the first place.

[A]

I will give Lizzy that. She never has hard feelings if you haven't replied to her. Okay? And then my last. My. My closing argument is the sip chat. All three of us were having a good time. You wake up. Ryland has left the chat. It hurts. It's awful.

[C]

Does it hurt or do we not notice? All right.

[A]

Okay. Now it's in his. It's in his court. He's the judge.

[C]

The affirmative gets two speeches. Okay, Law school drop and that'. Okay.

[A]

Lost will drop out.

[C]

Okay, go, Chris.

[B]

I'm very torn. You've both made excellent arguments here. Taking my opinion out of it, I think. I think Lizzy made more points. I think Lizzy made more. I'm going to go with Lizzy. I'm going to go with Lizzy. That's my verdict.

[A]

Sapience, period.

[B]

These are my. These are my opinions.

[A]

Whatever, whatever. I can. I can lose. Chris is wrong, but I can lose. Okay. Is it okay, okay to take food from someone else's plate? I don't know if Chris is going to be able to. To put himself outside of this. I'm not a fair jury member.

[C]

Would you like me to go on

[A]

the affirmative for the record?

[B]

Oh, never mind.

[C]

That means I speak first you speak, and then I rest my case.

[A]

Well, we have to. Do we have opposing sides?

[C]

Let's find out.

[B]

I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but my opinions were more in line with Ryland last time. But I was trying to not be opinionated. You told me not to be opinionated. I was trying to not go in my opinions.

[A]

Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.

[C]

Lizzy has left the chat.

[A]

Okay. Is it okay to take food from someone else's place?

[C]

Good afternoon, jurors, and thank you so much for taking the time to be present today in our court of law. I know you all have families. I know you all have jobs, and it means a lot to me that you are respecting your civic duty and showing up to be of service to your nation today. Thank you. Now, I would like to say, if you are taking food off of other people's plates, you are rude. It is not your plate. It is their plate. They have curated a plate that is just for and of themselves. And anybody who expects a bite off of somebody else's plate is a taker, not a giver. And if they make you feel bad about that, that's on them. It's not on you. I'm sick and tired of going to dinner parties where there are eight people sitting at the table. Table, and seven of them are being like, oh, please take a bite. May I have a bite of that? Can I taste that? No. You're allowed to make choices before you order. And if you'd like to make an alliance with somebody, you may. At which point in time, you can take food off of their plate and give them food off of your plate, and you can exchange goods in that way. A treaty, if you will. But if we are all sitting down at a dinner table and we have all made choices independently and by ourselves, you get what you get, and you don't get upset. And if someone is kind enough to share with you, that's beautiful, but should not be the expectation. I'm wrapped up.

[A]

Thank you, jurors, for being here today. I, quite frankly and quite strongly believe she's a Bitch. I think if I am dining with you, we are that of friends. And I think if we are that of friends or family, I should be able to have a little taste of whatever it is you got. Whether we're at a new restaurant. I don't want to have to order three meals and pay for all of it when that food would go to waste. I would rather just have a tiny bite of yours. And if you would like to request a bite back, that's fine. I like to know what's on the menu. I like to explore so that when I'm there to recommend that restaurant, when somebody asks me how it was, I can give a confident answer because I've tried more than just one. One thing. I think if we're dining together, it's my right to be able to at least take a bite.

[C]

Okay, colonizer.

[B]

Okay, you're right. This is really hard for me to.

[C]

Not now. We have closing statements in conclusion. Today I have walked you through a dinner party where everybody enjoyed their time together. Nobody felt the societal pressure of having to displease an individual who was incapable of making a decision for themselves and thus have imprinted upon your liberties, your emotional security, and your happiness so that they can have a bite. I think you'll notice my opponent here made a lot of I statements. I want to take food off your plate. I want to relay a message to somebody else about my experience, and I want it to be positive for me. And I want a little bite of your food. I say no. No today and every day. My food is my food. Yours is yours. If you'd like to make an alliance beforehand, I would love to work with you. But there is not a world in which we are all required to take food off of our own plates and put them into other people's mouths if we did not previously discuss it and agree to it. And that is on the Constitution of the United States. Liberty and freedom and justice for all dinner parties.

[A]

Jury, we live here in America, and in America, portion sizes are huge. Some would say outrageous. I think there is enough food on a plate to share with those who you love around you. I don't think it's stealing. I don't think it's robbing. I think it's sharing. And I think if you can't share your food, you need to go back to school. School. And you need to learn that everything is not just yours. Your Honor, who's paying for the dinner?

[C]

In the previous. Listen, this is the other thing. I'm a firm believer, and everybody should at least motion to and act as if they're interested in financially participating in the check. And if you are not at least performatively offering to be financially responsible in some capacity for a part of the

[A]

evening, then your food is mine.

[C]

Then your food is mine. And that's something we can all agree on.

[B]

Okay, So I realized I can't not take my. Put my.

[C]

We'll hear your opinion after.

[B]

It's too difficult. I. I don't know how I can just make one without an opinion.

[C]

Chris, we basically said the same thing. He copied my arguments. He copied my arguments. We both agreed to a chance treaty. He can't even look you dead in the eyes and not sound like an while he's eating the food off your plate.

[A]

Lizzy's a better arguer than me, but we deserve to eat from the food. No.

[C]

Yeah, see, he even can't even keep his story straight.

[B]

Whoever the better are you if for the argument. Lizzie, what if. If we're going off my opinion, the first round was Ryland, this round was Lizzie.

[C]

Do we need a tiebreaker or can these people not sit through another 55 minutes?

[A]

Well, these were supposed be to be fast, but we can.

[C]

I'll go fast.

[A]

Are you guys enjoying? Okay, let me see. Oh, okay, I like this one. Should guests help you clean after a dinner you hosted?

[C]

Absolutely not.

[A]

Absolutely not. I think if they offer, that's great.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think if you expect it from them, you're a fucking monster. It should not be expected. And if that person just leaves, you should not hold it against them.

[C]

I used to go to dinner parties at this person's house who's incredibly. Not that it matters, but this person is violently wealthy and they have an army of people who help them do everything, including cooking, cleaning, everything. And they used to expect their guests to do the dishes, put the laundry in the laundry area, clean up airbnb and put the laundry away. Guess who it was.

[B]

I know.

[C]

You know. And they would act like they were like, so like put upon. On. Then don't host a party. Then don't host a party. And also don't act like you were ever gonna do those dishes because you were.

[A]

I think it's very nice to offer if you're a guest.

[C]

Yes, agree.

[A]

Not expected if you're a host.

[C]

No. There's different requirements for host. First attendee. I think attendees are welcome to offer to do anything. I think attendees, there's a code of etiquette that is greatly appreciated though.

[A]

Like what level of attendee are you? Are you my best friend or are you like somebody that I want out of my house when everyone leaves? If you're like 18th on the guest list, get out of here, Say goodbye and leave.

[C]

Go. Don't even say goodbye. Honestly, I've got 17 other goodbyes to make. You were invited. Political reasons.

[A]

If you're in the top three and you were like, in the planning of the menu with the host, it's like, yeah, stick around and help clean up.

[C]

Or you know, something that I will always say. I'm like, you know, you don't have to help, but I would love to just chat with you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If you want to sit and chat with me, let's chat.

[A]

I like it.

[C]

But yeah. So are we naming that person?

[A]

No, we all know. Okay, we'll do one more and we don't have to make whole full blown arguments. Or should we do the rapid fire, Guilty or not guilty?

[C]

Guilty or not guilty?

[A]

Okay. Guilty or not guilty?

[C]

Guilty or not guilty of being rude?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I don't think chat did this. Right. Because honestly, it doesn't.

[A]

We didn't get this from chat.

[C]

We get it from Jeff.

[A]

My brain. Okay, guilty or not guilty? Eating food in the store, in the grocery store before paying.

[C]

Oh, I'm guilty.

[A]

Not. But no.

[C]

And I'm guilty.

[A]

Well, we're guilty, but I think it's not guilty because you're paying for it.

[C]

Right?

[A]

So not. Are you guilty of it? Like if you're in a court of law, is it guilty or not guilty?

[C]

Guilty of what, though? Do you get what I'm saying?

[A]

Being awful.

[C]

Right? So rude or not rude?

[A]

Rude or not rude?

[C]

So rude is guilty and not guilty is. Is not rude.

[A]

Yeah, see, it makes sense.

[C]

Guilty or.

[A]

Okay, so I would say not guilty because you're still paying.

[C]

I can't follow it, but I do

[B]

it

[C]

and I am rude inherently. So I. You think? Yeah, I'm. I think it's rude to.

[A]

Who are you offending? The general manager? Well, here's the deal.

[C]

I don't give a fuck about corporate America, but here's the deal. I don't. My conscience can't handle stealing.

[A]

We're not stealing.

[C]

But you are. Because what if you get to the checkout counter and for some reason, oh,

[A]

I forgot, I would go back.

[C]

Oh, my God, empty. And I didn't realize my bank account was empty.

[A]

But then you're stealing.

[C]

I did eat all that moon cheese.

[A]

Then you're stealing.

[C]

So that's where my mind goes. And that's why I get nervous about.

[A]

I would sit There, and I'd call a friend to come pay for it before I left.

[C]

I do do it, though. I do do it all the time.

[A]

You don't do it, Chris.

[B]

I swear I do not.

[A]

Not.

[B]

I'm actually, like, gotten in full arguments with friends about this.

[C]

Well, what's so annoying is, like, I'll see somebody has opened something, like, at Costco to taste it and then left an open bag of it, and I'll think, wow, I really wonder what that tastes like. But my moral code will not allow me to taste something that has already been opened, even though I'm not the one who opens it.

[A]

You're not gonna buy the.

[C]

Well, what if I don't like it and then I don't buy it and now I'm part of the stealing, so I can't even do that. Which is annoying, I agree.

[A]

But.

[C]

But if I open something and I eat it, I am paying for it in totality.

[A]

Like, if I want to enjoy a drink while I'm walking around the grocery store, I'm gonna open it and it and pay for it.

[C]

Yeah. If I have Billy with me, I'm going to be getting a pouch out of the pouch aisle and putting it in his hot little hands, and he's gonna be slurping that down exactly 100. Yeah.

[A]

Not guilty.

[C]

One time, Billy picked up a thing of heirloom cherry tomatoes and took a bite out of one and then spit it out, and I bought the whole thing.

[A]

Returning a used product. You're awful.

[C]

Oh, I will never return a used product. I won't do it. I will barely return an unused product.

[A]

Yeah, okay. Pretending to not see someone in public.

[C]

Guilty.

[A]

You're a. Oh, I do it all the time.

[C]

You're guilty as sick.

[A]

I don't want to be talking. It's like, if I didn't plan to meet up with you, I don't want to be randomly bumping into you.

[C]

Would you ignore me?

[A]

No.

[C]

Liar.

[A]

No, he'd ignore me.

[C]

He'd see me, and he'd go, didn't plan this.

[A]

I wouldn't. But I would have, because I would have been tracking your location.

[C]

Didn't plan this. He goes, I was tracking your. Your location, and I tried to avoid eye contact, but here we are.

[A]

You, Chris, Spencer, anyone in my. In my, like, orbit. That's fine. We're talking, like, second, third degree friends.

[C]

Oh. If I see you and I think I know you, I'm saying, hey, to the point where I'm afterwards spiraling for at least a week.

[A]

She's Going to list up your entire resume.

[C]

I'm going to lift off your entire resume. I'm not going to look your wife in the eyes. And everyone's going to leave wondering if we.

[B]

I think that's a little bit guilty, but I do sometimes do it.

[A]

You're ignoring people?

[C]

Of course.

[B]

If it's like, third, fourth party and, like, someone that I'm like, I don't even know if they like me or,

[C]

like, I'm such a.

[A]

Sometimes I'm deliberately ignoring people. I'm like, b, roll the other way sometimes.

[C]

I can't help it.

[A]

I know you can.

[C]

And it's. It's another one of those. Just shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up. I'll see someone that I've never met, but who's worked with somebody that I know deep, like, greatly. And I'd be like, oh, hey, I know so and so. And they're like, okay.

[B]

I'm also just so anxious. I'm like, I don't know. This is too much. What if I go up and they're like, I didn't want.

[A]

It's 100% chance it's going to be weird.

[C]

My anxiety says, you need to go up to that person and tell them you're ovulating.

[A]

Like, do you remember?

[C]

And I don't know why it adds the. Tell them you're ovulating. But that's what my anxiety does to me.

[A]

It's never an enjoyable conversation.

[C]

No.

[A]

I remember when we ran into my ex.

[C]

Yeah. And I said, you don't live here, you poor. Oh, yeah.

[A]

See, it's just never not awkward. Like, my ex, that, like, I'm, like, very friendly with. He's a nice guy. But, like, we walked up to him and Lizzie goes, oh, do you live around here? And he's like, like, yeah. And she's like, where? And he's like, oh, like five minutes away. And she goes, so not around here.

[C]

Okay. And he's like, well, no, it's more than five minutes.

[A]

First of all, it's more than five minutes. Well, I live closer to here than you do, so, like, I live close to here. You don't.

[C]

No, but it just. It just is what it is. But I'm not being a Chris. I'm literally like, oh, well, that's not very close to here. Do you know?

[A]

Like, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

We're gonna do it as if. We're gonna do as if, Chris. Tell me right now. Like, I'm like, oh, do you live nearby?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you live near to here?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Where do you live?

[A]

Five minutes away.

[C]

Well, like, where? Because I live around here, so I know the area. Where do you live?

[B]

This is crazy.

[C]

Are you serious? I know the area. I'm just trying to be friendly. Where do you live around here? I live around here.

[B]

They live.

[C]

Do you really think that that's crazy? Well, all of you. Fuck all of you. Fuck you all. Fuck all of you. I'm ovulating. I am ovulating. I'm ovulating right now. And this is the dress I wore when we conceived Ernie. Okay, I live around here. I'm done. You sign off.

[A]

It's never not weird. If it's a second or third degree person.

[C]

It's now. You have to say that specific exit.

[A]

We have an ad. Okay, my last one.

[C]

This is coming back.

[B]

But it's not.

[C]

It's because I'm a big person and I can handle it. I know it's not that weird. And I'm gonna go back to my gym because I can take somebody with you. Go back to my gym. I'm just gonna have to hire someone to also come with me.

[B]

Okay, can we mute.

[A]

The very last one is taking hotel toiletries, obviously, but we're taking all.

[B]

All of them.

[C]

Oh, wait.

[A]

I paid a lot of money to stay in this hotel. I'm taking the toiletries.

[C]

Yeah, everybody takes the toiletries. That's normal.

[A]

All right, I like this game, but

[C]

if I took the toiletries, I would look at every employee on my way out and say, I took all the toiletries.

[A]

And they'd be like, yeah, we're expecting that. Oh, well, you know what? Oh, I guess I got to place this ad because this. There's not food after this.

[C]

Oh, so I could have just left.

[A]

So this is the end. Yeah. Okay. Well, I enjoyed that game so selfishly. We're bringing it back because I still have a list of, like, 50 things. So let us know if you liked it, too. And if you did, and even if you didn't, we're gonna play it again.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I guess if you hated it, we'll play it on Patreon.

[C]

I hated it. Personally, I hate it. I've never been more upset about a game we've played on this show before. That one really upset me. Really hated it. Can't continue.

[A]

All right, you guys. Well, thank you so much for watching and enjoying the sip. All of our links are in the description section below. We all have our own YouTube channels, and we're all just out there doing it. Girls, I hope you have a fantastic week. We're gonna have a fantastic week.

[C]

I'm sure we are. I'm just going to my gym twice. So what could happen?

[A]

Well, we'll be back here next Wednesday to tell you all about it. We love you girls so much. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. And that's the zip.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Oh, she remembered. Oh, she remembered.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Here's a dolphin laugh now. Billy's so cute. He does a dolphin laugh.

[C]

That's the sip.

[A]

That's the. Should we go get him?

[C]

Yeah, let's go get him. Let's go get him. Let's bust him out of Jiu jail and party.

[A]

All right. Good night, girls.

[C]

Good night. Do you know who the problem is in my relationship?

[A]

You. I was on a diet starting today. By the way, that's too much. I've been practicing that kind of self restraint lately.

[C]

Over and over and over. It's like going on a date with a Gemini. Straight women love lesbian comedy. And straight women love. Love lesbian porn. Okay, we are getting boiling crab. We are getting the boiling crap.