Mom Shaming & Catching Lizze in a Lie!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon
Episode: Mom Shaming & Catching Lizze in a Lie!
Release Date: October 30, 2024

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1. Introduction to Mom Shaming and Breastfeeding Challenges

The episode kicks off with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon diving straight into the sensitive topic of mom shaming, particularly focusing on the challenges surrounding breastfeeding. The conversation highlights the societal pressures and judgment that breastfeeding mothers often face.

• Lizze shares her frustration:
  [02:07] Lizze: "I'm so tired because you breastfed shamed me."

• Chris engages in the discussion, reflecting on personal experiences:
  [02:03] Chris: "I was always running around doing a million things… and I think it always looks like shit."

Their dialogue underscores the emotional toll that external judgments can have on mothers, emphasizing the importance of supportive friendships and understanding.

2. Halloween Costume Planning and Family Dynamics

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Halloween costume planning, which becomes a source of tension and humor between the hosts.

• Lizze explains her costume choice:
  [02:03] Lizze: "I am Jesse from Free Willy…"

• Chris reacts to the costume details:
  [05:03] Chris: "Can I tell you something? Either A, have never seen the movie, or B, don't remember it."

The discussion reveals the complexities of coordinating family activities while managing parental responsibilities, leading to playful banter and mock conflicts over costume decisions.

• Notable Interaction:
  [34:10] Lizze: "This is just a volume for your headphones."
  [34:12] Chris: "Do you want to come up the block?"
  [34:16] Lizze: "No, you're tripping."

This segment highlights the balancing act parents perform between personal interests and family obligations, often resulting in lighthearted disputes.

3. Pop Culture Gossip and Movie Discussions

The hosts shift gears to pop culture, discussing various movies and TV shows, infusing their conversation with humor and personal opinions.

• Free Willy Movie Plot Breakdown:
  [15:02] Lizze: "The whale was taken from his family and put in like a SeaWorld…"

• Love is Blind Finale Speculations:
  [35:53] Lizze: "Ramsay leaving that girl. He's so gay."

The discussions range from movie plot spoofs to speculating on reality TV show outcomes, showcasing the hosts' ability to intertwine personal anecdotes with broader entertainment topics.

• Sydney Sweeney’s Projects:
  [43:00] Lizze: "Sydney Sweeney is making one of the New York Times bestselling thriller books…"

These segments provide listeners with a blend of entertainment insights and the hosts' candid reactions, making the conversations relatable and engaging.

4. Personal Parenting Stories and Anecdotes

Delving deeper into personal narratives, the hosts share their parenting struggles and triumphs, offering a candid look into their daily lives.

• Chris on Managing Baby Outings:
  [12:05] Chris: "He had a little meltdown, and I almost bailed right in the moment. I almost thought, I can't do this."

• Lizze on Handling Baby's Crying:
  [17:21] Lizze: "I'm trying to create enough of a stash so that I could potentially leave at the drop of a hat…"

These stories underscore the unpredictable nature of parenting, highlighting the resilience and adaptability required to navigate challenges.

• Ryland’s Pumpkin Patch Adventure:
  [07:08] Ryland: "Underwood Family Farms… the biggest pumpkin patch I've ever seen."

Sharing these personal experiences fosters a sense of community among listeners, validating the shared struggles and joys of parenthood.

5. Conclusion: Embracing Parenthood Amidst Chaos

As the episode winds down, the hosts reflect on the essence of parenting, acknowledging both its chaotic and rewarding aspects.

• Chris on Parenting Rewards:
  [75:02] Chris: "Even when it's like gets hard or annoying, it is the best memory."

• Lizze on Unconditional Love:
  [75:12] Lizze: "You need the kind of love that only comes from a parent to their own child for it to be cool."

Ending on a heartfelt note, the conversation reinforces the theme of embracing the unpredictable journey of parenthood, finding joy and fulfillment despite the inevitable challenges.

Notable Quotes

• Lizze on Breastfeeding Shaming:
  [02:19] Lizze: "Because of you, I can't give Joe the bottles at night."

• Chris on Parenting:
  [12:05] Chris: "He had a little meltdown, and I almost bailed right in the moment."

• Lizze on Balancing Personal Life and Parenting:
  [26:55] Lizze: "I am allowed to drink Under Armour to try and…"

• Chris on Coping Mechanisms:
  [17:53] Chris: "All it took was some poopy fingers."

Final Thoughts

"Mom Shaming & Catching Lizze in a Lie!" offers a blend of humor, candid discussions, and heartfelt moments, providing listeners with an authentic glimpse into the lives of Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon. Through their engaging dialogue, they address the stigmas surrounding motherhood, navigate personal and familial challenges, and celebrate the unpredictable yet rewarding journey of parenthood.

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Follow the hosts on social media for more uncensored conversations and weekly episodes that dive deep into pop culture, hot topics, and celebrity gossip.

Transcript

[Lizzie]

Sa.

[Chris]

Sound speed.

[Lizzie]

Almost getting a little snack in.

[Chris]

Oh, my God, you guys, I'm breastfeeding.

[Lizzie]

What's up?

[Chris]

Well, you are shoving food into your mouth.

[Ryland]

Want to take one?

[Chris]

Marker.

[Lizzie]

I'm hungry.

[Chris]

On Shane's podcast, we would call that. Oh, no, no, no. That was Ice Spice. She said her friend was shoveling food.

[Lizzie]

What? Hold on. Why can't I hear it?

[Chris]

Did you shovel that whole bag of popcorn?

[Lizzie]

Is this on?

[Chris]

Oh, it's really low.

[Lizzie]

There we go.

[Chris]

Who would do that to us?

[Lizzie]

You.

[Chris]

Did you just shovel that whole bag of popcorn?

[Lizzie]

No, but enough of it not to.

[Chris]

Like, to food shame you. I think you should.

[Lizzie]

I didn't feel food shamed.

[Chris]

Oh, okay. So can you guys tell.

[Lizzie]

Do you know what? I am. Put the hat on.

[Chris]

You know what? I was so upset because every week on this podcast, I'm always running around doing a million things, and I don't, like, do my hair until two seconds before this podcast. And then I think it always looks like shit. And then I go on, like, Shane's podcast and it looks nice because I had a little bit of time or I'm vlogging and it looks nice. And so I, like, thought, well, since we all flopped and didn't do Halloween costumes this year, because.

[Lizzie]

Speak for yourself, loser tired moms.

[Chris]

I'll at least do my hair this week. Lizzy, text me. Well, okay. Oh, is this. What. Something that had to do with the wetsuit?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. I was gonna let you be in on the Free Willy costume with me, but you don't have. You were a bitch about that.

[Chris]

I do. I wish you could have just.

[Lizzie]

I was gonna bring you a wig, and you could have been the female whale trainer.

[Chris]

That would.

[Lizzie]

Are you kidding me, girl?

[Chris]

You should have brought me in a little bit more.

[Lizzie]

What do you mean?

[Chris]

You are a beautiful boy. It's startling.

[Lizzie]

Thank you. For those of you who can't tell, I am Jesse from Free Willy. Hold on. Is it good?

[Chris]

Can I tell you something? Either A, have never seen the movie, or B, don't remember it. So I don't even know what you're referencing.

[Lizzie]

That's what Joe keeps saying. He's like, I don't think anyone gets it. I've told a few people. I was like, this year, my family and I are going as Free Willy for Halloween. And they go, what?

[Chris]

Oh, wait, this is also your family costume? Yes.

[Lizzie]

I'm gonna cut this up and put it on a onesie for the baby to wear. And Joe had. I bought Joe a shitty ones. Shitty wetsuit. And the wig.

[Chris]

And he's gonna be the female.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And you're gonna be the male. And is he.

[Lizzie]

I mean, I'm Orphan Jesse, and obviously.

[Chris]

Is he going to change roles with you and breastfeed all night and stay up with the baby?

[Lizzie]

God, I hope. But because of you, I can't give Joe the bottles at night.

[Chris]

What?

[Lizzie]

I'm so tired.

[Chris]

What do you mean?

[Lizzie]

Because you breastfed shamed me.

[Chris]

Oh, you're really gonna do this?

[Lizzie]

I'm really gonna do this to you.

[Chris]

I wasn't even done with Halloween.

[Lizzie]

Can you. We'll get there.

[Chris]

Hold on to your angle.

[Lizzie]

We'll get there. Everybody, everybody. Just so you know, audio only listeners, I am dressed as Jesse from Free Willy, which I'm sure you can visualize in your mind's eye right now.

[Chris]

And if you've been watching this podcast for years, Lizzie loves to take creative liberty and do something really fun for our Halloween episodes. Normally, I would say we dress up for two different episodes, and I also like to set decorate and stuff. But this year. We're tired moms. We're tired moms.

[Lizzie]

I was actually gonna make us tired moms.

[Chris]

And I thought I was on board with that. We were gonna, like, put curls.

[Lizzie]

I know, but I'm such a tired mom, I couldn't.

[Chris]

This seems like you execute literally. This seems much harder than what being a tired mom would have been.

[Lizzie]

Wait, why?

[Chris]

Because that's natural to our state of.

[Lizzie]

Oh. But I would have to go out and get us both bathrobes and hair curlers.

[Chris]

Oh.

[Lizzie]

And we would have to look tired, and I would have to buy us both baby dolls.

[Chris]

Is something wrong, Chris?

[Ryland]

It was just so loud in my headphones. Sorry.

[Chris]

Oh, okay.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So here we are. I decided, like. Oh, I'm just gonna wear, like, in my spooky era shoes.

[Lizzie]

Well, I brought you a costume.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Executive producer Dick Wolf of Law and Order. Oh, that's not even of this movie.

[Lizzie]

No, it's just a hat I own. It's just a hat I wear all.

[Chris]

It has no correlation. No. I thought you were obsessed with Free Willy, the direct. Like, you, like, loved the director of the movie.

[Lizzie]

I don't even know who directed it. I don't even know the name of the female whale trainer. That's why I just keep calling her the female whale trainer. But I think the actress's name is Lori, and I don't think she's doing well.

[Chris]

And where'd you get these shorts from?

[Lizzie]

Oh, I got these shorts from Amazon. They're supposed to be oversized, but my fat ass is bursting out of them and it was impossible to get them on.

[Chris]

Did you order them for this outfit?

[Lizzie]

Yes, I ordered this whole outfit so that I could be Jesse from Free Willy. This is an intentional look? Yes. Remember I told you Joe wanted this.

[Chris]

Oh, cuz, this is your family outfit. Yeah, you're just doubling down. What are you gonna do on actual Halloween with a month old child?

[Lizzie]

First of all, he's an adult.

[Chris]

He is a fucking adult. And that's because. Well, should I start shaming you now? Before you get to shaming me, do.

[Lizzie]

You want me to just finish what I was saying first? Yeah. Is my mic quiet?

[Chris]

Oh, my gosh. Are we having audio issues this week?

[Lizzie]

I don't know. Oh, I sound better now.

[Ryland]

Does that feel better?

[Lizzie]

What are those knobs?

[Chris]

This is just a volume for your headphones.

[Lizzie]

Oh, well, I feel good now.

[Chris]

Do I feel good?

[Lizzie]

You feel really good. You feel buttery smooth. What were we talking about? I'm so tired.

[Chris]

Oh, no, I interrupted you and you said, can I finish mine? And then.

[Lizzie]

Oh, what we're being for Halloween? What are we doing for Halloween? So with a grown up. Yeah, I'm taking my adult child and my husband, and two blocks up the street, we're gonna walk down that block and then we're gonna go back to our house.

[Chris]

You're not even gonna trick or treat? You should. I mean, you should take him and trick or treat for him.

[Lizzie]

Do we just look psychotic? Like, are they gonna call cps?

[Chris]

I don't know.

[Lizzie]

I'm scared.

[Chris]

I think I'm gonna have to take my boys trick or treating.

[Lizzie]

Do you want to come up the block?

[Chris]

No, I don't Want to drive 45 minutes to come up the block with you.

[Lizzie]

Well, it's also down the street. We could go. We could go down two streets. Whatever.

[Chris]

Whatever.

[Lizzie]

And then Wednesday night, you very kindly given us.

[Chris]

Well, because Lizzie belled on everything. We had meticulously planned our schedules. We discovered where they align.

[Lizzie]

Hold on.

[Chris]

We discovered how we're gonna do this.

[Lizzie]

So Ryland was a brave dad and he took his babies to the Ventura pumpkin patch.

[Chris]

I don't know that that's what it's called, but okay, whatever. It's a little further from my house. It's a farm. It's a pumpkin patch.

[Lizzie]

There's a famous one. People in the comment section last week, like, Rylan should take his baby to this famous one. And that's when he went to.

[Chris]

Oh, and it is crazy. There's Like a. There's like all sorts of. It's basically a zoo. It's basically. There's everything that you can ever imagine.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, but it's in Ventura, bro.

[Chris]

A Thousand Oaks.

[Ryland]

I thought it was more park.

[Lizzie]

Is that not Ventura? When I put it into my phone, it was like, girl, that's Ventura. And I was like, oh, I will not be attending this one.

[Chris]

Wait, it's.

[Ryland]

It's.

[Chris]

How do you know where I went?

[Ryland]

Because I went there too.

[Chris]

You did this? But what if I would have ran into you film a video for a client in the wild?

[Ryland]

It was work.

[Chris]

Can you imagine running into Chris in the Wild?

[Lizzie]

No, but I keep running into people in the wild.

[Chris]

I kept thinking, like, maybe one day I'll run into Chris in the Wild Target or something. Because he's always getting like, harassed at Target.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

It's never happened. No, no. Keep telling us about this. Where. What's it called? So that we can tell them.

[Ryland]

It's Underwood Family Farms. It is incredible. They let my other client and friend film there and we had an amazing time. We saw all of it. They gave us the tour. And it's the biggest pumpkin patch I've ever seen in my life ever.

[Chris]

And it's open year round and they like, there's different seasonal events now.

[Lizzie]

I feel very left out.

[Chris]

Well, you were not left out at all. And I was executing with you plans.

[Lizzie]

And nobody tried to make it work with me and my newborn and day of.

[Chris]

And this is what's so funny. I feel like when my babies were your age, your baby's age, you were always like, you just need to get out of the house. You just need to go. You just need.

[Lizzie]

But I wasn't talking about going like 48 minutes away.

[Chris]

Well, for me it's only four.

[Lizzie]

Rush hour traffic, it's the opposite way of rush hour. Crazy was like, get your baby off schedule. This guy who waited until his children were 10 months old to get them off schedule. Mind you, he's like, throw your fucking new ass baby in the car at his nap time.

[Chris]

You were the.

[Lizzie]

I said nap time short. Skip his rat nap. Skip his bath, put him to bed late and drive in rush hour traffic for an hour and a half.

[Chris]

It perfectly aligned with my schedule. My boys had a great time. There was no fussing there at the parking lot. Schedule, whatever. Go whenever you want. I don't care.

[Lizzie]

I'm not going to that pumpkin.

[Chris]

So I did three different pumpkin events with my family, and I'm really just.

[Lizzie]

Three?

[Chris]

Yeah, I mean. Oh, the one with you, the Calabasas Pumpkin Festival.

[Lizzie]

I count three. Two. You're right. When you're right, you're right. And this time you're right.

[Chris]

And we like to go to the grocery store. My boys are now sitting in the carts themselves. They're big enough.

[Lizzie]

Hand, foot, mouth disease.

[Chris]

Well, I. You know me, I take the freaking wipe, even if it's just me, because I'm crazy about that. And now all the grocery stores have the wipes. I was Lysoling that thing down, I let it dry, and then I let them sit in there, and they were having a great old time in there. But I have to say, it's an Olympic sport. Getting ready to get two kids out of the house. I think of just getting everything packed and the two boys in the car with also us as humans in the car.

[Lizzie]

I think this is a monologue that you delivered last week as well, to the word.

[Chris]

I don't think so.

[Lizzie]

I think you said Olympic sport and every detail, like, verbat.

[Chris]

Well, last week, no. Was pretty chill because it was only, like, five minutes away.

[Lizzie]

No, but getting in the car.

[Chris]

No, I don't think so. Because I don't complain about, like, going to the grocery store or the park or the. It's when I have to consider packing bottles. When I have to consider, like, did.

[Lizzie]

We not do this? Did you remember this?

[Chris]

Just your facial expression. I think I just told you personally.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my bad, my bad. I hope you didn't just tell me personally, because then I look like a real nasty bitch.

[Chris]

Sometimes you are.

[Lizzie]

Sometimes I am. But I think this time, like, I really feel like if we were to play back the tape from last week, it would be a verbatim.

[Chris]

I'm sure everyone will let us know.

[Lizzie]

I just. Here's what everybody else is really wondering.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

What is your lotion routine with your wedding rings?

[Chris]

What do you mean?

[Lizzie]

Just kidding.

[Chris]

I don't think I've divulged into the lotion routine, girl. I think I divulge into when I put them on.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Chris]

I don't put. Do you put lotion on your rings, you crusty bitch?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I'm disgusting. But also feel this knuckle. I'm not putting lotion on at all.

[Chris]

We all know that you're a lizard person.

[Lizzie]

I've got elephantitis of the finger.

[Chris]

I don't know that that's what that is. Elephantitis is when you're getting, like.

[Lizzie]

When have you ever been on an elephant? Because I have. And this is what it feels like.

[Chris]

The texture.

[Lizzie]

They've got some rough. Elephantitis is bulging.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Lizzie]

I'm not not bulging. These shorts are very tight. I got them on, and I was like, I might have to cut these off.

[Chris]

Okay, well, going to the farm was within their schedule. Going to Night of the Jacks was after their bedtime, so they were already up for the largest chunk of their afternoon. And then I, like, did the bath, the bottle, and said, okay, boys, let's get in the car.

[Lizzie]

What did they say?

[Chris]

Well, Jet. I. I left Jet with my mom during, like, the bottle.

[Lizzie]

Mm.

[Chris]

Because I was, like, acting like a psychopath, getting everything in the car, like, the extra blankets. Cause it's nighttime in the stroller. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I think Jet got something. I don't know. It was right after a podcast. He was overstimulated because there were a million people in our house and somebody else was doing his feeding, which he's used to me doing is feeding. So he had a little meltdown, and I almost bailed right in the moment. I almost thought, I can't do this. I'm not brave enough. I'm not strong enough. And then I thought, well, because it's not that far, I'm just gonna put these little kids in the car. And as soon as they got in the car, they were fine the entire event. And they had a time. They were only up two and a half hours past their bedtime. They went to bed, and everything was fine.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God.

[Chris]

Yeah, I love that. I think it's because they've been on their schedule for so long that, like, a small, slight adjustment every once in a while isn't gonna, like, ruin our life, because they're so accustomed to it now.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So I survived. And it was very fun. It was, honestly, very fun.

[Lizzie]

He's so brave. He's not afraid. What is the rest of that song? He is beautiful. He's a brave girl. What is it? There's a viral sound.

[Chris]

Okay. Do you want to drag me, or do you want me to drag you?

[Lizzie]

Whoa. Really quickly, can I just relate to babies throwing fits? Yeah, my baby doesn't throw a lot of fits, but he was throwing a fit this morning during his first rat nap. Oh, I didn't mean to call it a rat.

[Chris]

Now that's your second time today, and we all don't know. I still don't understand, like, it's.

[Lizzie]

So listen. So listen.

[Chris]

There's smaller naps inside of the schedule.

[Lizzie]

That are called cat naps, but my son tends to be a rat fuck when it comes To a rat nap. I'm sorry, a cat nap.

[Chris]

I'm so tired.

[Lizzie]

Because he doesn't sleep during the cat nap. So we pretend. Well, we don't pretend. My husband and I, behind our child's back call him a rat fuck. That sounds.

[Chris]

This wig is really good. Thank you. It's really good.

[Lizzie]

Do you even know the character?

[Chris]

Did your baby see you like this?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And I don't think he recognized me. I was like, hi, baby. He was like. Anyways, this morning he. I don't want to tell the end of the story.

[Chris]

No, tell us.

[Lizzie]

No. I regret everything.

[Chris]

Tell us. Tell us.

[Lizzie]

I love my son and I'm super grateful for everything about him. I'm really proud of him. He's growing really well. He eats really well. He's super cute. He's very funny. I like his laugh. I love everything about him. I even love when he's throwing a little fit. You know what I mean? Like, that doesn't bother me. I want him to be happy. I want him to have a good life. That being said, sometimes behind his back, I call him a rat fuck because he's being a rat fuck.

[Chris]

I call my kids stinky heads.

[Lizzie]

That's me.

[Chris]

Oh my God. It's really good. Screenshot that so we can put it up in the episode what's Free Willy about?

[Lizzie]

Are you joking? No, I'm not.

[Chris]

But I don't care.

[Lizzie]

It's about a killer whale that was taken from his family and he is.

[Chris]

And a little boy's gonna go in the middle of the ocean to save this whale. No, doesn't seem so.

[Lizzie]

The whale was taken from his family and put in like a sea world. Like little dance monkeys.

[Chris]

So where do you step in?

[Lizzie]

I'm an orphan boy who's also been separated from his family. And I get set up with a new family and I spray painted the whale's cage. And so to make up for it, I go and clean the whale's cage.

[Chris]

Oh, you got caught.

[Lizzie]

But I play my harmonica and it makes the whale bond with me because I sound like his whale sounds.

[Chris]

Now I get what you were doing with the harmonica. Yeah, this is really good. It's really, really great costume.

[Lizzie]

Anyway, eventually Jesse, my character, realizes that Willie is crying because he misses his mother in the ocean. And Jesse can relate because he too misses his mother out in the big world.

[Chris]

Is it going to make me cry? The movie?

[Lizzie]

It's so good. We should watch it with the kids.

[Chris]

Honestly, I would love to.

[Lizzie]

Let's do it.

[Chris]

Is it, is it on Par with angels in the outfield.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

And I think it's of the same era. And then one night, Jesse, they try to kill the, like, the guys who own the whale try to kill him because he's not making them enough money and they want insurance money off of him, so they start draining his tank so that he'll suffocate.

[Chris]

God.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And Jesse goes, that bro. And he like, gathers all of his homies and his dad who has like a tow truck company, and they like.

[Chris]

Don'T spoil the movie.

[Lizzie]

Well, that's the whole movie.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Anyway, they. They free Willie.

[Chris]

Oh. They get him out into the open again.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. Spoiler alert. Sorry, guys.

[Chris]

Well, that's a bold title. Then they give away the ending in the title. Free will.

[Lizzie]

I know. It's on them. It's really on them.

[Chris]

I guess I don' never ever need to watch it. Give it away.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

All right.

[Chris]

Okay. So, rat boy.

[Lizzie]

Oh, I thought we got out of it. So this morning my son was also being a rat during his first nap. And I really don't want to tell the rest of my story.

[Chris]

Is it going to, like, endanger you and your hair?

[Lizzie]

No, it was just funny. So I, like, he wouldn't stop fussing. And like, I do a meditation every morning. So it's like, like I breathe deeply when my baby is crying. And so I'm like, breathing deeply while my baby is crying. And then I just go, Billy. And like the sleep training that Kate told me about, she's like, you go in sometimes and you have to start with your voice. You go like, it's okay, Billy. We love you. Like, it's nap time. Like, you gotta go to sleep right now, buddy. Like, that's the first intervention. It's like, does he know what I'm saying? This is stupid. He's a rat. Three month old. He's not even three months old. How old is my baby?

[Chris]

Not even two months.

[Lizzie]

Not even two months old. He's a new ass baby. So it's okay, Billy, it's nap time. We love you. You're safe. And if you don't stop crying, I'm gonna put some poopy fingers in your mouth. And I only said that because he doesn't know how to keep his paci in his mouth. So, like, I'll kneel by the snoo and, like, have him hold under it.

[Chris]

Yeah, I'll hold under.

[Lizzie]

I'll hold the paci in his mouth.

[Chris]

While you're tucking under the crib.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. So that he doesn't see me. And so I was like, I'm gonna put some poopy fingers in your mouth. And he immediately stopped crying.

[Chris]

Wow. All it took was some poopy fingers.

[Lizzie]

And then I started dying of laughter. So I'm, like, holding my mouth, holding the Paci in his mouth, laughing hysterically. Joe's laughing in the darkness. We're all just sitting there, like, anyway, I wonder if that's funny to anyone else. It just does because we're so tired.

[Chris]

Well, Lizzy had bailed on all of our events. Like I mentioned previously, we were gonna be, like, these cute full moms together. And that didn't happen. But she was still like, I want your mom to be able to meet the baby. Teresa was also here. She made her way over. It was a big baby reunion with the Grant. Well, like, Shane's mom and my mom, and we're all just, like, gooing and guying over Billy's hair. It's really good hair, and it's, like, perfectly spiked. And. And she was like, well, why don't you just start, like, doing that to Max? Because I was inquiring on, like, how she gets these 90 spikes that were reminiscent of heist school for me.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I just brush it back after.

[Chris]

The bath, and she just says, oh, I just brush it back after the bath. And when I'm feeding him, I just run my hair, hands through it. So I'm, like, in the bath, Max's hair is wet. I'm pushing it up, and while it's wet, it looks spiked like your baby.

[Lizzie]

So after the bath, and I'm like.

[Chris]

Cool, I got this. And as I'm drying his hair, I'm drying it with the towel back so it, like, plasters back while I'm, like, doing his, like, getting him dressed. I'm going back, and then I comb it. And Lizzie was like, I'll send you a video tutorial of how I do it with my baby. She never did that. So then I'm just taking my brush, not knowing how to do this, just brushing his hair back.

[Lizzie]

You were doing good.

[Chris]

And so I sent Lizzie a video. And I go, is this how you do it? And she's like, yeah, that's perfect. Now just get some root lift and hairspray. And I was like, I knew it. Because earlier in the day, me, my nanny, and my mom were all talking about Lizzie's baby being like, there's no way. There's no product in that hair.

[Lizzie]

Actually putting product.

[Chris]

There's no way there's not product in that hair. And then I text Lizzie and I said, you know, we're all talking about how we know there's product in your baby's hair. And then once I was doing the bath, she finally admitted it. It should taste. Takes a little root lift and hairspray. And you can't convince me otherwise. You know, your husband might hear this.

[Lizzie]

Chance in hell. We even have hairspray.

[Chris]

You belong with Paris Hilton. I bet you guys are spray tanning your babies together. You guys are putting hair gel in your baby's hair together.

[Lizzie]

Tell them what I toxic one.

[Chris]

What?

[Lizzie]

You go, you're just like Paris Hilton. It's like, yeah, dude. Like, I've been spray tanning this baby since day one. We're gonna have some pale ass maybe out in these streets. You kidding me? No, that wasn't jaundice. That was Jergens.

[Chris]

Lizzie's not supposed to drink that drink dyes that help you breastfeed, but she doesn't do that either. When Joe's not.

[Lizzie]

There is no dying out. I checked.

[Chris]

Oh, well, then what's the problem?

[Lizzie]

There's no problem now.

[Chris]

Oh, you're allowed.

[Lizzie]

I am allowed to drink Under Armour to try and. Or body armor, whatever the fuck the drink is called. I saw on Reddit that there's a drink that moms are drinking because it, like, it makes your breast milk more.

[Chris]

Right? There's got to be a baby friend root lift and hairspray. And that's probably what you've discovered.

[Lizzie]

You can't just, like, go, I'm not putting product in his hair. I'm. It's just my. I'm just running my poopy fingers.

[Chris]

It's either disgustingly greasy and she's never given her baby a bath, or there is hella pro. There's more product in that baby's hair than there is in mine.

[Lizzie]

No.

[Chris]

And I have flat ass hair.

[Lizzie]

There's literally. That's just him. He's just a cute little rat. I love him. I really do love that baby so much. It's crazy. Sometimes I'm like, should I just go kiss him? Like, while he's asleep? Can you imagine? And I do it. Sometimes I'll sneak in, I'll put my head in the snoo, and I'll give him a little kiss, and then I pull back out and I hope to God that he doesn't wake up.

[Chris]

Okay, you can drag me if you. Well, no, I think we should start with how our husbands are really great people. Oh, they want the best for us. They're rooting for us.

[Lizzie]

No, no, my husband is. No, hold on. Before we can appreciate our husbands, we have to talk about your fucking problem.

[Chris]

Well, no, no, no, no. I think this comes after. I think you've got your storytelling all mixed up.

[Lizzie]

No, you're always. You're always jumping to the end before you even give a beginning. And the beginning is fucking. Years ago, I said we need to buy tickets to Taylor Swift for next year immediately. And you said, no, girl, I hate ttpd. Taylor Swift is not cool.

[Chris]

There's. There's false. Falsehoods already in your story years ago. TTPT wasn't even out yet, so I know, whatever.

[Lizzie]

I'm. I'm abridging a bit. I'm summarizing events over decades in time, and here's the deal. You literally. I have been asking, remember, Chris, how many times have I asked you to Google when the shows are.

[Chris]

You know, I'm not going to book.

[Lizzie]

Anything ahead of time. Switzerland a fucking day before, too. That's not even ahead of time. So you don't even. You can't even use that.

[Chris]

I'm not going to Switzerland. You're not getting me out of this country.

[Lizzie]

I forgot I don't even have a passport, so you win that argument Anyway. I would have expedited it. Here we go. I then said, we need to go in Indianapolis. Like, fucking. Like last week even. When were we talking about this last? I've been telling you, aren't cheap.

[Chris]

A week before. There was a small window in time.

[Lizzie]

I'm telling you, we have to buy the airplane ticket and just be there so that we can buy the ticket that day. Because flights to Indianapolis and Nola are a nightmare.

[Chris]

I don't know that it's going to work out in our favor because this is going to be now the last stop of the tour, so I don't think they're going to go.

[Lizzie]

Well, I'm not going anyway because of the shame that you've brought to my household on my breastfeeding.

[Chris]

Oh, my God, you're kidding me. Because this jumping the story.

[Lizzie]

Oh, fine, continue.

[Chris]

First I found Lizzie was texting me and she's like, oh, we should just go. And I was like, well, what about your baby? And she's like, like, my baby? What baby?

[Lizzie]

For my baby. I love my baby and my baby loves me. It's another thing we say in our meditation.

[Chris]

And I said, finally, she's on board. We gotta leave these kids behind and have a moment for ourselves. And so after she had this like, this lapse.

[Lizzie]

I was joking. He goes, what about Billy? And I said, billy who?

[Chris]

Right? She did not say, because he was like.

[Lizzie]

He was like. He was like, let's go to New Orleans right now. The tickets are $1,800.

[Chris]

And I was like, no, no, no, no. Gosh, she's ruining my story. She texted me in the morning. I'm feeding Billy and I. I'm listening to the tortured poets department, and I just have to go, let's go. And I said, well, what about Billy? And she said, billy who? And then I start looking at tickets, and there was like a slight moment where they were, like, still unreasonable, but, like, reasonable enough that I, like, in the right state of mind, would have executed.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And then Lizzie looks and there's not a flight, so I missed it. And now I've been looking ever since, and the tickets are crazy again. And it's like, wow, I had that one five minute period where we could have executed. And every. Like, when I brought it up to my husband, he's like, I know it makes you happy. You should just go. Even next weekend when it's expensive, you should just splurge and go. He's like, you should just do this. You and Lizzie should just go.

[Lizzie]

That gives me butterflies.

[Chris]

And Joe is also like.

[Lizzie]

Joe was like, you could do this. I would do anything for you to be that happy.

[Chris]

So both of our husbands are cheering us on.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

But then when Lizzie changed her tune, I was like, well, let's go to the Saturday show. Which then Sabrina Carpenter happened to be at.

[Lizzie]

Well. And the stage malfunctioned. But here's what. Yeah, what do you mean the stage malfunctioned?

[Chris]

What do you.

[Lizzie]

Couldn't get down off the platform. She had to jump off the platform and then just walk.

[Chris]

That Sabrina?

[Lizzie]

No, it was Taylor during the TTPD era.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Lizzie]

But anyway, there's literally no fucking flights to NOLA that would have gotten us there on time.

[Chris]

Okay, so how did I offend you?

[Lizzie]

He says, this is why you should have been storing up your breast milk. Because we could be there right now if you had already been pumping and storing.

[Chris]

You're gonna.

[Lizzie]

As if it's that easy to just pump and store and pump and store and feed and pump and store because he knows something about lactations.

[Chris]

And she goes, I'm really offended. And I said, well, you shouldn't be listening to me. I don't know anything about breastfeeding. And I know breastfeeding can be a trigger for a lot of people, but Let me just tell you, you. You have never expressed to me that you have had a lack of.

[Lizzie]

Now I have a problem.

[Chris]

What?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, now I have a problem because I'm trying to create enough of a stash so that I could potentially leave at the drop of a hat when your crazy ass says, we're going to Taylor Swift right now so that my husband. I don't have to just drop my baby on formula and abandon his ass for 24 hours.

[Chris]

I agree. But I feel like I've been telling you for a while, like, the milk you don't use, you should just throw in the freezer, because I feel like you put it in the fridge and then if you don't use it, I.

[Lizzie]

Use all of my milk. Oh, yeah.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

It's all being consumed by my child.

[Chris]

Okay, so there is no extra for storing.

[Lizzie]

No. That's why I'm losing my mind right now, because I'm trying to make extra for storage so that I can go to fucking Indianapolis next weekend when you have this fucking moment.

[Chris]

Okay?

[Lizzie]

And that's why you're toxic as fuck. Because the fact that I am sitting somewhere on two hours of sleep with a pump on when I'm not even lactating anymore, just trying to store up some milk for the off chance that my GBF is like, we're going to tailor right now. Get things. I could just go, you know how.

[Chris]

Bad this is for me.

[Lizzie]

You know how pathetic it is of me.

[Chris]

She knows that I. Whatever. I mean, you said a lot of things that have offended me, too. I just know breastfeeding is so triggering for a lot of people. And I know that it is a.

[Lizzie]

Real problem to continue up my stash, because in my mind of mines, I know that I need to give that bitch a bottle before bed. He needed a bottle while I was here doing the podcast. So I need to make two more bottles today so that I can make it the Taylor Swift potentially next weekend. And I have to make three bottles a day just in case.

[Chris]

Okay, well, she's working on storing it.

[Lizzie]

I just need to store at least, like, 28 to 30 ounces of milk, and then I could go to see Taylor Swift.

[Chris]

I don't know. We'll see if the tickets ever dropped. Drop. If the tickets ever trip.

[Lizzie]

Well, then I'll have a really good storage for a rainy day.

[Chris]

Okay. I saw Smile too.

[Lizzie]

Oh, why? Because of Shane? Was it good? Was it fun? Can I have another bite of popcorn?

[Chris]

I really loved the actress. I thought she. Did you see it, Chris?

[Ryland]

No, I Heard it was good, though.

[Lizzie]

Which actress?

[Chris]

I don't know. The star of the movie she played. She played Aladdin's girlfriend.

[Lizzie]

Oh, Jasmine.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Can you pull up a picture of her?

[Chris]

I think her name's Naomi. She was. I thought she was incredible. She was great and I really liked. It's.

[Lizzie]

She's played Aladdin's girlfriend.

[Chris]

I mean, that's the only other credit I know of hers.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Chris]

That she's plays a pop star in the movie and the song is a pop. And when she's dancing. She has short hair right now, though, so she looks different than that. But dang.

[Lizzie]

I don't really remember Aladdin now, but I did. I do remember a good feeling while watching it.

[Chris]

It good.

[Lizzie]

That's my review.

[Chris]

But this girl was insanely talented. She could sing, she could perform, she could act. She sold me on all of it.

[Lizzie]

She was singing and smile.

[Chris]

Yeah, she's a pop star. Oh, she's a pop star that contracts the smile.

[Lizzie]

I recognize her now. She's a pop star that contracts the smile.

[Chris]

That's interesting. Yeah, it was.

[Lizzie]

Did she kill herself?

[Chris]

I liked it much better than the substance. I hated that movie.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, this one's more of a mainstream film. Did you like it more than Trap?

[Chris]

Yeah, I did.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Different. A little different.

[Lizzie]

Of course it was different.

[Chris]

Oh, my God.

[Lizzie]

Anyway.

[Chris]

Oh, my God. Okay. Do you want to thank everyone or what?

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah, I do. I want to thank everyone.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

I want to thank all of you out there in the pawdience. No, on some real shit, though. Last week, after I shared about my aunt passing away of pulmonary fibrosis and we plugged the foundation for all of the comments that came in were just super, super nice and a devastating amount of people in the comment section have also lost a loved one to pulmonary fibrosis.

[Chris]

I had never heard of this before. You had brought it to my attention and yeah, I saw so many people that have loved ones that are affected by this constantly.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, it's like diseases like that and like myasthenia gravis. Like you don't hear about it all the time, but it's like a lot of people suffer from these things and there is no real cure and people just have to deal with it and it is pretty devastating. Yeah, it sucks ass. That being said, a lot of people went to the link and contributed in Pat's name and honor to the foundation, which was huge. Like, it's just a really. It's a really kind thing that you guys did and I really appreciate that. And I know that Pat would, too. And the foundation literally reached out to me and this woman, Amy, at the foundation, who knew Pat because Pat worked so, like, she really loved this foundation. She really threw herself into it, and she put everything that she could into being a part of building this group up. And this woman, Amy, reached out to me, and she said she personally knew my Aunt Pat and that you guys were contributing and that it would have made Pat so proud and so grateful to know that I was continuing this in her name. And she asked if I wanted to get more involved. And so we have a meeting on Friday this week, and I'm going to get more involved with the foundation. And it's the first time, like. Like in a grieving process that I felt like. Because it's like, when you're sad and you've lost someone, you can feel hopeless because there's no rectifying the situation. You know, you can tell a person that's lost someone, like, they're always with you, and, like, no, they're literally not. Like, they're literally not with you anymore. And that hurts.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

And so in this way, I feel like for the first time, there's, like, a glimmer of hope in the despair of loss. Loss. And I'd never considered trying something like this to deal with my grief previously, but I'm really excited about it, and I'm. And I'm, like, kind of like, jonesing to get very involved, you know, like.

[Chris]

Something productive you can put your energy towards that could help somebody else in the future. That.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

That I know for a fact would have made Pat so proud. So I'm gonna do that, which I'm excited about.

[Chris]

Great.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And Amy was, like, good friends with Pat. Thanks, Chris. So she's gonna tell me Pat stories, too, and we're gonna get on a zoom, and I probably going to cry. She's like, I'm probably going to cry. And I was like, that's great. So thank you. I'm really excited about that.

[Chris]

Nice.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. Yeah. Wait, was there anything else?

[Chris]

I don't know. What have you been doing all week?

[Lizzie]

Working on this costume, duh.

[Chris]

That she left me completely out of.

[Lizzie]

Your family's not doing a family costume, are you?

[Chris]

No, I feel like I've already done Halloween. I've done all the events. I mean, I guess we could go, like, trick or treating, but, like, you're not going to. I might.

[Lizzie]

I mean, don't the boys have costumes?

[Chris]

Yeah, they do.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And I haven't strapped them into those yet.

[Lizzie]

Oh, well, good luck. I'm gonna cut this thing up and put it onto a little sweater and then cram my little baby into it.

[Chris]

That's really cute. You'll take out the stuffing, and then this will be the head, like, on top of his head.

[Lizzie]

And I'm gonna put it on a sweater so that I can just take the sweater on and off, and he'll just be wearing his pajamas underneath it. And then I'll put him in bed.

[Chris]

Yeah. You're like, yeah. At this stage, it's like, we did it.

[Lizzie]

We walked up the street, we walked down the street, and we walked back home. Oh, I fucked up. I got these costumes, actually, because last year, Joe and I went to two Halloween parties, and we won the Halloween costume contest at both. As the eagle has landed.

[Chris]

Yeah. Which I still don't understand, but okay.

[Lizzie]

That's what people say when the president arrives. The eagle has landed. So I was an eagle and Jeb was the president.

[Chris]

Which president specifically?

[Lizzie]

Just a president. He was the president, like the president. Like in the movies.

[Chris]

Like the president's daughter.

[Lizzie]

He's just the president. Yeah.

[Chris]

Got it.

[Lizzie]

And so we wanted to go back to those parties in our family costumes, which. The Free Willy and.

[Chris]

You're going to a party.

[Lizzie]

Let me finish my story. We. I fucked up both parties. They both already happened. And I didn't even realize it. Like, the other day, I was looking at online, and I was like, this looks like the house where that party's at, and this looks like a Halloween party. I was like, oh, that was the party. So we missed. We missed Shawn Decker's party, unfortunately, which is a fucking great party.

[Chris]

I mean, what were you gonna do there?

[Lizzie]

We were just gonna show up.

[Chris]

I know, but that's your.

[Lizzie]

And then leave.

[Chris]

That's.

[Lizzie]

We were just gonna show up and then leave.

[Chris]

Got it.

[Lizzie]

Joe had a whole plan where he was gonna show up and he was just gonna say, all right, just give us the prize now. Cause we gotta leave early. Cause we got. And that's what Joe wanted to do.

[Chris]

Got it.

[Lizzie]

So that's all we were going to.

[Chris]

Do at the party. Are you going to Brave Night of the Jacks this week?

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You are?

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

You're not going to bail?

[Lizzie]

No.

[Chris]

Oh, so it's. Your husband didn't want to hang out with me?

[Lizzie]

Yes. No, dude, that's not what it felt.

[Chris]

Like every time she bailed, if I'm being honest. So next time he says he has beef with me, I'm going to say, remember when you wouldn't let Lizzy, come to my fall events.

[Lizzie]

No, it literally was not about that. I swear to God, it was not about that.

[Chris]

No, it's just exhausting. I hit it.

[Lizzie]

It's fucking exhausting.

[Chris]

I was even texting her, and I was like, if you want a bell, I get it. It took me eight months to really, like, start taking my babies everywhere.

[Lizzie]

I was particularly exhausted this last week, too. Like, I even slept during a nap time, which is rare for me.

[Chris]

Really? You don't sleep when the baby sleeps?

[Lizzie]

No. I also realized consuming any amount of alcohol means that I can't nap or sleep at night.

[Chris]

Wait, consuming any amount of alcohol? You don't drink?

[Lizzie]

I didn't mean to say alcohol. I meant to say caffeine.

[Chris]

Did you just confess? I'm so tired.

[Lizzie]

Clickbait.

[Chris]

Do we need to talk?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. Call my sponsor. She's off the wagon. No, I'm just exhausted. And then I missed the other party, too.

[Chris]

Cool.

[Lizzie]

And I only know about it because I bumped into the couple at Costco, Shannon and Jordan. And Jordan was like, I'll see you later tonight. And I was like, no, you won't.

[Chris]

They.

[Lizzie]

Okay, we're gonna do some Hot Topics. Are you gonna bleep all that out? Constantly compromising my relationship.

[Chris]

I think my Halloween party invites are just, like, in the mail.

[Lizzie]

Oh, probably.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

I invited you to my Halloween. You said no. We could walk up the block, down the street, and then back home, but you trippin.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

All right.

[Chris]

Are you even caught up on Love is Blind, or are you just putting Love is Blind stories in this dock?

[Lizzie]

I'm caught up.

[Chris]

Up. You are?

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Chris]

Okay. Awfully boring finale.

[Lizzie]

Are you tripping? Ramsay's leaving that girl. He's so gay. The fact that everyone's, like, not acting like Ramsay is gay.

[Chris]

No. In the comments, like, if you go to different Instagram posts, they're all like, he's gay.

[Lizzie]

No, he's so gay. Those braids in his hair, too. And he's like. The amount of leather pants that man owns is like, girl, you're gay.

[Chris]

And she's great. She really is good. Like, I like her.

[Lizzie]

And she's a great.

[Chris]

And he's awful. The whole sucks. He had problems with her the whole time, her entire life, because she was.

[Lizzie]

She was a Marine. Okay? So this couple, we don't remember the girl's name, but the guy.

[Chris]

But we like her.

[Lizzie]

We like her a lot. And the guy's name is Ramsay, and he's gay. And he said to her, I don't like you because you Served our country as a Marine. And she's like, what? And he's like, you knew what you were signing up for. And, like, I just have really strong morals. It's like, girl, you cannot support the war and support the veterans. You. Dude, I almost said the C word, and then I had to call Rain.

[Chris]

And then he. He was also pissed because his sex drive is higher than hers, which I also.

[Lizzie]

Hold on.

[Chris]

Put on for the camera.

[Lizzie]

Also. Yeah, by the way, you don't like chicks, so why are you acting all put off when she doesn't want to have sex during her period? She was literally on her period.

[Chris]

I hate him. I hate.

[Lizzie]

And he was like, well, is it going to be like this our entire marriage? It's like, probably, dude. If she doesn't want to. On the rag, that's her choice.

[Chris]

Was the only. I mean. And you know, the producers. He broke up with her before the altar. And, you know, the producers were so pissed because then there was nothing. Then it was a filler episode. I saw this Instagram reel. If I can find the creator, I'll. I'll put it in. But she's like, all of us watching the Love Is Blind finale. And it's like just scrolling to the. If they say yes or no, and then scrolling again to if they say yes or no. And it's like, I'm looking forward to the reunion more than I'm really looking forward to the reunion, like, because I don't think on Instagram, even the couples are saying if they're still together or not. Right.

[Lizzie]

I hope at the reunion that Nick D. Gets in a fist fight with Hannah and, like, lets her know that her shit is whack and she's emotionally abusive. And the way she sat Nick down and was like, you're not good enough. Was so wild and crazy. Hannah, your brother can't stand you.

[Chris]

You're a. I think the entire Internet has told her that. So I bet she's learned a thing or two.

[Lizzie]

And hopefully she's lost a shit ton of weight and done some plastic surgery. And she's like, I feel better about myself now. I was just being nasty because I didn't like the way I looked. It's like, Garrett, there was nothing wrong with the way you looked.

[Chris]

You were just a. Garrett's girlfriend is insufferable. Garrett unsufferable or insufferable.

[Lizzie]

Garrett. Define Garrett.

[Chris]

Was he the physicist Olivia Mun and.

[Lizzie]

Right.

[Chris]

Her boyfriend Garrett.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. You don't like the Olivia Mun girl.

[Chris]

She's insufferable.

[Lizzie]

Oh, on Instagram. I loved her. Oh, I thought she was cool from the get she's in.

[Chris]

She.

[Lizzie]

I thought she had a good stylist too.

[Chris]

She thinks, okay, well, no go. It's hard to even explain. She just is so obsessed with herself and so calculated and so weird. Like, her social media presence is out of this world.

[Lizzie]

I think she's trying to make a social media presence for herself.

[Chris]

I know, but it's okay. I don't know.

[Lizzie]

No, I agree with you. I think. I think authenticity goes farther than contrived, calculated.

[Chris]

Like, she's posting famous people that are following her and she's just like, is this what fame feels like? And then she's like, like, I guess the reunion looks got released. And then she's like screenshotting, scrolling through her DMs, showing all the people that say, like, you look so hot. It's just like really weird. It's like very off putting and weird. She's like, thinks she is the best thing that's ever happened to this world.

[Lizzie]

She's pretty hot. I do have to say, the makeup artist who did her makeup for the wedding up, I didn't see it. She did the worst job she could have possibly done on that poor woman. The eyelashes were off kilter. The color scheme that was elected for her face was not her color palette. All of it was rancid. And that poor. What is her fucking name, Whatever her name is. The girl that got married to Garrett, she was like, I've never had my makeup professionally done before. And it's like, never do it again because this looks like shit. And she usually looked super cute.

[Chris]

So the real reason Lizzie put this in the document is because his name is Tyler from Love is Blind is quote. Well, he was saying one of the.

[Lizzie]

Couples that got married was Tyler and his woman. And for some reason, we don't know any of these women's names.

[Chris]

No.

[Lizzie]

So Tyler and his lady got married. And earlier in the season, there was this.

[Chris]

To be fair, I only know Tyler's name because it's in this dog. It's in this headline.

[Lizzie]

Same.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

And so Tyler sits down with his betrothed and he goes, I'm a sperm donor. There are three children that I have created in this world as a sperm donor for a couple that could not have children.

[Chris]

And this is far into the experiment. The girlfriend at the time is all upset because she's like, this feels like something you should have told me back in the pods when we first started dating. I don't really wanna know Right now that like. Like, you're a sperm donor. And when that happened in real time, I don't know how much information she had, because we didn't get to see that conversation. But I was like, if he's honestly just a sperm donor, like, if he just gave sperm, who cares? That should not be a deal breaker in any regard. But then it came out on Instagram.

[Lizzie]

And he's just a deadbeat dad. He's a guy who had three. So first he was a sperm donor to his lesbian couple friend. The lesbian couple friend broke up. Then he starts dating one of the lesbians, fathering the children, gets her pregnant again naturally. Like, dnp.

[Chris]

I didn't hear that part.

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah. Put his D in her V, ejaculated the ejaculate sperm met with an egg inside of her, landed in the uterus or whatever.

[Chris]

No matter which way you put it, they have children together, and he's very active in these children's lives. And.

[Lizzie]

And then when he got on the shelf the show, he just deleted all of them from his Internet presence and then was like, I'm going on the show. Y'all are sperm donor babies now.

[Chris]

Everyone started finding the pictures where he was like, where he's. With all of his kids.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And it's like he's.

[Lizzie]

And the girl he's dating. Is it Ashley? Is her name Ashley?

[Chris]

Maybe. And he's sitting there telling her, like, I don't really see that.

[Lizzie]

Do they know what you look like? He goes, no. Is it because they're blind? Because they've definitely been in the same room as you.

[Chris]

And these. These. This couple got married. So that's why I'm looking forward to the reunion, because there's no way she isn't privy to all this information Now.

[Lizzie]

I can't wait.

[Chris]

And so I want to know, like, a, did they survive this? I can't imagine they did. And B, is he just. Is she just gonna eat him alive? Because I would kill this motherfucker.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I hope. Oh, my God. And also, you, dude. Your kids are gonna see this. And I get that this is coming from a woman who's dressed like an orphan boy and called her son a rat fighter, but your kids are gonna see this one day, man.

[Chris]

Crazy. Like, is he like, not even just to cover up. It's that you're just a bad person if you're willing to marry someone.

[Lizzie]

Bad person.

[Chris]

You're willing to marry someone and lie to them, and you're willing to have your three children hear you say you're not their dad.

[Lizzie]

That's a red flag if I've ever heard one.

[Chris]

Okay, which of these do you want to speak on?

[Lizzie]

So I'm not sure if I've already brought this up and I know that no one in this room can let me know if I'm right or wrong. So I'm not sure if we spoke about this here, but Sydney Sweeney is making one of the New York Times best selling thriller books that I've read recently. The Handmaid into a film.

[Chris]

Is that different than the Handmaid Tells? That's a series already.

[Lizzie]

Yes. This is more fun. Okay, this, the Handmaid is one of the books that I read where I was like, y'all are wack as shit. But a lot of people love this book and I do think so. Ryland has had to do some fancy editing on podcasts recently when I speak about Sydney Sweeney because I'm less than kind.

[Chris]

Which is weird because you like her.

[Lizzie]

Love her. I literally love Sydney Sweeney. I love that she's a boss ass who's producing these movies with her fiance, that she's starring in them, that she's making work for herself. I think all that is awesome. I think she's hot as. I love her little body. I love her little face. Face. I love everything about her.

[Chris]

Who doesn't love her crying on euphoria?

[Lizzie]

Like she's. I like the free. I like what she does in her free time. I like everything about Sydney Sweeney except for the roles that she puts herself in because she's casting herself wrong. Okay, that's nice. Right? That's a nice way to say that's fine. She's not a rom com girly and she is not a nun.

[Chris]

She's really good at crying.

[Lizzie]

She's really good at crying. She's sexy and she's mumble core. That being said, that being said, she's perfect for the character that she's playing in the handmade.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

And it's really fun casting. She's playing like there are these two women who are supposed to look a lot alike. I'm not going to spoil any of it because it is a twisty turn.

[Chris]

Who did she cast?

[Lizzie]

Amanda Seaver.

[Chris]

Oh, I love her.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I love her too.

[Chris]

I love her. I want to like be her friend. I love her so much.

[Lizzie]

Oh. I want to be both of their friends.

[Chris]

Wow. I bet that's a pretty good time, the two of them together.

[Lizzie]

Dude. I bet it's a great and I'm.

[Chris]

Sure a lot of straight men's fans.

[Lizzie]

Fantasies And Amanda is also a businesswoman.

[Chris]

What do you mean?

[Lizzie]

She runs her own business.

[Chris]

Which one?

[Lizzie]

I think she makes Theranos. No, that's a real person. And that.

[Chris]

She played that person.

[Lizzie]

No more.

[Chris]

I know, but she played that person. Fantastic.

[Lizzie]

Elizabeth Holmes, who's in jail.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lizzie]

Anyway, this is all great.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

And then.

[Chris]

Oh, no, I know. I don't think he is it.

[Lizzie]

It's not about my ladies. No, no, know.

[Chris]

I know, but it's. I can see the headline.

[Lizzie]

You mean my headline?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

I'm concerned about the director that they brought in, and I don't want to say names, but you can Google it. Paul Feig.

[Chris]

Isn't he, like a superhero guy?

[Lizzie]

He made the Female Ghostbusters, and then he has a production company, and here's where I want to tread lightly. Paul Feig is a friend of a friend of mine, and I really like his production company, and I really like a lot of the things that he's done. Like, I think Paul Feig also did like Freaks and Geeks, and it's like, he's brilliant. He's a brilliant mind. But he also made the recent to Netflix A Small favor. Is that what it's called with Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick, and that was also based off of a thriller book. And the execution of that was tonally inept and really bad. And it felt like everybody was on a different page about what the movie was, including the director. And the only person who executed that in any sort of great way was Anna Kendrick.

[Chris]

Oh, is this the one about the real life?

[Lizzie]

No, this is the one. It's.

[Chris]

Anna Kendrick has two Netflix movies.

[Lizzie]

Well, the other one came out a while ago. Okay. No, like a Small Favor, I think is what it's called or something like that, but, like, it's like it's kind of missing the mark.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

And it looks made for tv, but, you know, they had millions of dollars because Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick are in it.

[Chris]

Good for them.

[Lizzie]

So Paul Feig has been tapped to direct the Handmaid or the Housemaid. The Housemaid. Was I calling it the Handmade.

[Chris]

It says handmade on here.

[Lizzie]

That's my bad.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

I'm very tired. Anyway, if Paul Feig this one up, I will be devastated because I didn't love the book, but I do think it's going to make for a really fun movie.

[Chris]

All right. I mean, I'm looking forward to it. I like. Well, I can't say I like everything she's done because I have access to her rom com movie and I can't bring myself to watch it. The one with the. Glenn, pal.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, it's a little bit like a.

[Chris]

Okay, any of this.

[Lizzie]

Any of this. There's three more stories on here.

[Chris]

I know, but we're at 47 minutes, so we have time for one.

[Lizzie]

Okay, we'll skip that one. We'll go really quickly. Adele is. Is concluding her residency in Las Vegas.

[Chris]

I feel like she's been in a different country, though.

[Lizzie]

What?

[Chris]

I feel like she was in Vegas forever, and then she's been, like, across the pond.

[Lizzie]

Oh, she was off and then on and then off again and then on again. She's on again right now. Celine Dion came and saw her show at Caesar's palace, and didn't she say.

[Chris]

Like, after this tour, you're not gonna see her for a very long time?

[Lizzie]

So get her while you can. Should we go to Vegas? Let's bring the boys to Vegas. Should we bring our families to Vegas and go see Adele? Can we do that? And then I don't have to store milk.

[Chris]

I'd rather just go to Taylor Swift.

[Lizzie]

But that requires me storing milk.

[Chris]

Okay, we'll talk about this.

[Lizzie]

Okay. Anyway, Celine Dion was in the audience.

[Chris]

They're not gonna go to Adele.

[Lizzie]

No, they wouldn't be invited to Adele.

[Chris]

Oh.

[Lizzie]

They'd be home with our children, and you and I would be out living our lives, our best lives.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

See, it's like, I like Adele's voice.

[Chris]

And I like listening to her albums, but I don't know if I want to sit in a constant state of.

[Lizzie]

Of that it'd be at least for so many hours.

[Chris]

You know what I mean?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. It would be like, literally, like, I feel I've. Yeah, no, you're right.

[Chris]

Like, I love Adele.

[Lizzie]

Oh, I love Adele. Like, I bought Adele's album and I listened to it the one time, but I can't listen to it while I'm driving because it's a little bit too soothing.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Do you know what I mean?

[Chris]

Like, I just need to get to Taylor Swift.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. When you're right, you're right.

[Chris]

And if. If my life works out for me, you'll probably see us from a hotel room next week, you know?

[Lizzie]

And that's why I'm fucking storing up my milk, because I know you're crazy. And the other part that drives me nuts about you is you always ask me, what do you think? What do you think? What do you think? Do you think prices are gonna drop? What do you think? About this day. You think the prices are gonna drop that day. And I've told you every time you do this that I can't participate in this part of it because it's so toxic. Cause I'm not financially participating. And you know, I wanna go. So it feels fucked up for me to be on the other end. Like pull the trigger. Pull the trigger.

[Chris]

Because it's like had you when they were cheap. We could have been there last night. Did anything happen last night?

[Lizzie]

The stage broke. I told you.

[Chris]

Oh, I was talking about the night before. I. What was the guest last night? Anyone?

[Lizzie]

Maybe Sabrina Carpenter again? I don't know.

[Chris]

No, she had her own show last night.

[Lizzie]

Oh, that. I don't know.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Anyway, she saw Seline Dion in the audience. They hugged and cried.

[Chris]

Oh, wait, Seline went and didn't. She just went.

[Lizzie]

She was just in the audience. And there's part of Adele's show where she like walks through the crowd. And there's been a few viral moments from Adele walking through the crowd. Like. Like one time there was this old man in the audience and he was just holding up a picture of his wife on his phone. Cuz she passed away before the show happened and Adele stopped and she started crying and she called him out. Cuz she's like, I think I just saw and whatever. That was beautiful and sweet. That kills me.

[Chris]

Adele. I like Adele.

[Lizzie]

I love Adele.

[Chris]

I think she's a real ass.

[Lizzie]

I think she is a real ass. I'd be friends with Adele. Yeah, I'd hang out with Adele all day. Ariana Grande though.

[Chris]

Anyways, you're a.

[Lizzie]

And then this is just a callback moment because a few weeks ago we were talking about that Netflix show that ripped off our Christmas movie and then made it some Jewish thing called any.

[Chris]

I can't get through it. I just can't. I always want to start it. I think I'm not in the mood for like that kind of show. I don't think it's a bad show. For some reason I'm like not in the headspace for a short comedic.

[Lizzie]

It's a little confusing of a show because they're in their mid to late 40s, but are they playing 20 somethings? I think, yeah, that's what's confusing to me. Like why are they. It's their characters.

[Chris]

And that's where I thought was so weird.

[Lizzie]

But they look so old.

[Chris]

That's why I thought it was so weird, the whole Dax Shepard. Like they both are married, but they're like. The show relies upon Their chemistry upon them hooking up. And that's why I was always like.

[Lizzie]

Well, and Kristen Bell and Adam Brody have a burning hot chemistry.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Like, it is flammable. It is a combustible chemistry.

[Chris]

And so a few weeks ago, Kristen Bell spoke out when she was asked about it, and she was like, you know, like, he thought we were watching it, and he thought, like, he was rooting for us to kiss, too. He was saying like, oh, I can't wait for these two to kiss. And she was like, for me, it's very mathematical. Like, yes. It takes both of us being good actors. It's more of a science that a.

[Lizzie]

Woman who's cheating on her husband. I don't know. That's just my speculation.

[Chris]

Okay. And then he did something last night or.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. Dax Shepard finally had to speak out about it because they were like, so you think your wife's cheating on you with Adam Brody? And he's like, she doesn't kiss me like that. And it's like, you know, he's joking, but it.

[Chris]

There's always a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's like. And that's why I was like, it'd be hard not to have a problem with it, because even in. If she has nothing for Adam Brody, it's like, well, all of your peers, friends, colleagues, and. And children get to see mom have more chemistry with the stranger than with their dad. Which might not be true.

[Lizzie]

That's. That's probably not. That is speculative.

[Chris]

I mean, allegedly.

[Lizzie]

Allegedly she has more chemistry with Brody.

[Chris]

Allegedly. I mean, I'm. I was saying that because he said, she's never kissed me.

[Lizzie]

Like, I know he's, like, joking, but it feels like one of those jokes where it's like. Like, you're the one who farted.

[Chris]

I mean, I'm sure there's been a fight about it at the house. Oh, I'm positive. There's no way there has.

[Lizzie]

Or it's like there's diary entries of his where he's like, she doesn't kiss me.

[Chris]

Or there's therapy that's like, I know my wife loves me. I know she didn't cheat on me. I know she's not looking to cheat on me, but, like, the rational part of my brain is still jealous. Like, I'm. Because if you've ever listened to. I don't frequently listen to his podcast, but I know it's very, like, heady. And he's always in his head, and he's always in his guest's head, and he's Always overthinking. Maybe not overthinking. Critically thinking about life.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Which is, I think, the charm of Dax Shepard. But in my mind, that means there hasn't. There's no way there hasn't been some conversations behind closed doors.

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris]

And that's why I just think, like, acting in that sort of role. I mean, it's great for Kristen Bell. It's really bright.

[Lizzie]

This is the second time she's worked with Adam Brody in a romantic situation, by the way.

[Chris]

Oh, so they're into it.

[Lizzie]

The first time was on my goddad show, House of Lies.

[Chris]

Interesting.

[Lizzie]

And he actually brought that up this weekend. He's like, they have a palpable chemistry. And then I saw this article and I was like.

[Chris]

And so do we. Our husbands aren't worried.

[Lizzie]

My husband told me to wear a cloak out in public today because he's so worried about someone being turned on by me as Jesse from Free Willy.

[Chris]

All right.

[Lizzie]

It's not because he was embarrassed and he didn't want the neighbors to see. That's not why he told me to.

[Chris]

Put a cloak on. Well, my husband has a dentist appointment, so I gotta call him to see where we're going before that starts.

[Lizzie]

Oh, get him on the phone.

[Chris]

Bye. Okay, we made it. I don't know. Oh, my God. It's still on their window. I've been learning. I've been wanting to try the Adams family. Oh, my gosh. Look at these cheesy tots. Crispy outside, gooey.

[Lizzie]

Hitting that up. I'll put that in my mouth. You guys. Just me wearing my glasses in costume around the official.

[Chris]

Isn't it ironic that I was like, oh, I'm having a great hair day, and then my hair looks awful. Oh, my God, you're kidding me.

[Lizzie]

What? You forgot your wallet.

[Chris]

I put it right in front of my face and I wouldn't forget it. Chris.

[Lizzie]

Chris, buy us lunch.

[Ryland]

I don't have my card today, but.

[Lizzie]

You can do tap on my phone.

[Ryland]

Dad, I left Noel in Bakersfield.

[Chris]

Why do you have your wallet? Lizzie? Yeah, those look delicious. We need some B roll. Gosh, even the graphic is good.

[Ryland]

Yes, this is also my. No, I forget on this show that this is beverages.

[Chris]

Is there anyone behind us? No, no, no, there ain't.

[Lizzie]

No.

[Chris]

Watch them try to say, oh, wow, my hair's driving me crazy.

[Lizzie]

Me, too.

[Chris]

Oh, wait, do you still have the Addams Family collab?

[Lizzie]

Yes, we do.

[Chris]

Could I get. Are they meals?

[Lizzie]

Oh, I'm sorry. One more time.

[Chris]

Are they meals or is it.

[Lizzie]

It's a whopper meal. And the fun is purple.

[Chris]

Perfect. Can I get two of those?

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Chris]

And then size medium.

[Lizzie]

All right.

[Chris]

And then is there any other Adam's family things?

[Lizzie]

We have churros. We got our more chisso steak. And then we have the onion rings.

[Chris]

Okay. Let's get two of the shakes.

[Lizzie]

Did you want to add the drinks or on the side?

[Chris]

Oh, you. If those can be the drinks with the meal, that would be great.

[Lizzie]

Okay, for both, right?

[Chris]

Yes.

[Lizzie]

Okay, perfect.

[Chris]

And then could I do the onion rings and the churros?

[Lizzie]

Okay. An order of onion rings. What size are those?

[Chris]

Just small.

[Lizzie]

And. Come on. And then 4. 8 or 12?

[Chris]

4 is good. And then could I get those cheesy. What were they called?

[Lizzie]

Tots.

[Chris]

Yes. Could I get those as well, please?

[Lizzie]

Okay. Four feet or eight?

[Chris]

Let's do eight.

[Lizzie]

All right.

[Chris]

And that's all. Thank you very much.

[Lizzie]

My three 30 something year olds just went in over the cheesy Tots is my new ick.

[Chris]

Okay. But can I just tell you, the experience at this Burger King compared to the last is night and day.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I will never be back to. I don't know that I'm gonna fit through this drive.

[Lizzie]

It looks like you are.

[Chris]

You think so? I mean, look at those lines. Just stay bold and beautiful.

[Lizzie]

Those look like you're making it.

[Chris]

Earlier, I was trying to get through something, and Lizzie goes, what gave you the confidence to do that? And I was like, I've just never had confidence issues before.

[Lizzie]

And then he goes. Which is weird because I'm a short man. And I go, are you a short man? I think you're very average.

[Chris]

Average.

[Lizzie]

He's like, I give average energy. Huh.

[Ryland]

That was so how you said. It was so funny.

[Chris]

Who's gonna pay for this?

[Ryland]

You can do the tap on my phone.

[Lizzie]

We're gonna tap on Chris's phone. Okay.

[Chris]

We're gonna tap on Chris's phone.

[Ryland]

By the way, I just want to clarify because someone in the comments was mad saying that, thinking I'm paying, like. And no one's reimbursing me, but Ryland always reimburses me, so I'm not actually paying. I just wanted that to be clear.

[Lizzie]

I said I would just let them be mad at me.

[Chris]

Can I tap to pay? I don't know how that. Oh, perfect. I don't have that set up on my phone, so you probably should.

[Lizzie]

Of all people.

[Chris]

Yeah. Since I never have my. Wow. You can't see us at all, but we are overexposed. We really were.

[Ryland]

I'm Disappeared back here.

[Chris]

I like this Burger King. This is.

[Lizzie]

Chris is in the witness production program. This wig is giving me.

[Chris]

And then what else happened? Oh, Lizzie wants to clear up. She's not back. She has not relapsed. She's just tired.

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah. I. I really am not drinking alcohol.

[Chris]

And what was the other thing we were talking about?

[Lizzie]

I don't think we should go to Taylor Swift.

[Chris]

It sounded like we were in a car wash. No. Chris and his bottoming.

[Ryland]

What?

[Chris]

What?

[Lizzie]

No, you.

[Chris]

Oh.

[Lizzie]

What?

[Chris]

Who's bottoming?

[Lizzie]

Not Ry. I can't do it. I can't do it.

[Chris]

So, Chris, what are your Halloween plans? Is the only one that is fun without kids.

[Ryland]

I wish I had more plans. I've been so busy. But we're probably gonna do the usual at the boyfriend's house. His mom loves Halloween. We go all out. They go all out whether I'm there or not. I acted like I had something to do with it. But we do, like a scary little haunted house maze and scare the.

[Chris]

At their house?

[Ryland]

Yeah, they like.

[Chris]

They create a maze. Did I know this?

[Lizzie]

No, he just told us this in the shed before we left it.

[Ryland]

Very short little maze, but it's very cool. Cool.

[Chris]

That is really fun. Yeah. And are you gonna be anything?

[Ryland]

We were killer clowns last year, and because of lack of time and preparation, probably killer clowns again. But it worked really well.

[Lizzie]

No one has to know you were it last year.

[Chris]

There's the Addams Family characters on the cups.

[Ryland]

Really?

[Chris]

Wow. Wendy should take notes. Yeah, Wendy's did nothing from the spongebob.

[Lizzie]

Collab, but their burger was edible. And I don't know that we can say the same about the Whopper.

[Chris]

I don't know. Look at how good that the. That thickness of that shake that she's pouring is right?

[Lizzie]

Ooh. Yeah, I think that's just ice cream. I don't think it's a shake.

[Chris]

Well, I prefer that thickness to a shake.

[Lizzie]

Like an ice cream.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Oh, wait, now she's doing something else.

[Chris]

Oh, they're mixing.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God. What is she doing?

[Ryland]

Mixing.

[Lizzie]

What do you mean?

[Chris]

She's doing right by me. That's what she's doing.

[Ryland]

Ooh, look at it now.

[Chris]

Oh, can you get purple?

[Ryland]

Why was I. I'm so sorry.

[Chris]

I should have been filming that one job.

[Lizzie]

Buy our lunch and film it.

[Chris]

Oh, dang. They're making it fresh.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I wouldn't call it fresh.

[Ryland]

Handmade.

[Lizzie]

Not to be confused with housemate.

[Chris]

Well, you should be there.

[Ryland]

Oh, look at it.

[Chris]

What? Oh, my God.

[Lizzie]

What is that?

[Chris]

What is that? I have no idea and I never will. Sure, we'll do some ketchup and ranch, please.

[Lizzie]

Thank you. Thank you. Oh, wait. Look at the inconsistency.

[Chris]

What is it?

[Lizzie]

So less here than here. Here, Chris, you can have the extra.

[Ryland]

I'll take the lesson now.

[Lizzie]

Take the extra one because we're probably not going to enjoy it. What do you mean? He loves everything.

[Chris]

Oh, do I have everything? Yes, thank you.

[Lizzie]

Whoa. That guy was so mad, he. Yes.

[Chris]

I wish the lady making the shakes would have served it to us because she was.

[Lizzie]

She was better. Energy.

[Chris]

She was doing everything.

[Lizzie]

He scared the out of me.

[Chris]

I don't.

[Lizzie]

I hated everything about his energy.

[Chris]

Wow. Smells like onion rings in here. Yeah, I love that smell.

[Lizzie]

Actually, I do too. I would love an onion ring immediately. Oh, too hot.

[Chris]

Should I just go straight?

[Lizzie]

I don't know. I don't like this.

[Chris]

Oh, you're eating without us?

[Lizzie]

Just a French fry?

[Chris]

Well, yeah.

[Ryland]

I mean, I remember them having good French fries. Is that wrong?

[Lizzie]

No, I thought they did too.

[Chris]

I was trying to remember the French fries that I loved. Oh, no. Wendy's. In my opinion. Oh, gosh. I'm seeing it. Oh, my gosh. Little churro sticks. Looks so good. I'm so glad we remembered this because our all option was the Halloween cold stone.

[Lizzie]

And we hate cold.

[Chris]

We just can't participate.

[Lizzie]

Every time we go to Colton, they go, oh, we don't have everything you need on that.

[Chris]

This mommy SUV is driving me crazy.

[Lizzie]

But we're gonna charge you like we have everything, everything in it.

[Chris]

And now I was just about to hit that guy.

[Lizzie]

Honestly, I think he would love to be able to tell that story. I did not expect him to be getting into that Ford.

[Chris]

No, I thought he was gonna be in, like, something else. Oh, no, I'm stuck behind the mommy again.

[Lizzie]

You need to just commit to any spot.

[Chris]

If I could find a spot, that would be great.

[Ryland]

Can I use this straw? This back here.

[Chris]

What's it from? If it's closed, I'm sure it's. Oh, gosh. And that guy almost got. This parking lot is awful. Oh, wow.

[Lizzie]

What is that car doing?

[Chris]

What a nightmare this place is. Well, there is no parking.

[Ryland]

I didn't realize the stuff on top was purple because of the lighting.

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah, very purple. I wonder what it is. Is it cookie bits?

[Chris]

This is really bad. Oh, was it a shape?

[Lizzie]

No, it was Chris. We dropped Chris.

[Chris]

There goes Chris.

[Lizzie]

There you are.

[Chris]

There he was.

[Lizzie]

There he goes. Here he comes. I've got a headache. From my wig.

[Chris]

What are we gonna do? Park in the parking lot of Ford? No.

[Lizzie]

Do not pull into a fucking car lot. Sales. Car lot. What is it called? Car sales lot. What is that called? Called. It's called something, right? A car sales lot. A car lot. What is it called?

[Ryland]

A dealership.

[Lizzie]

Yes, yes, yes. A dealership, like I said.

[Chris]

Well, this is. The anticipation is killing me.

[Ryland]

That was a shake.

[Chris]

Okay?

[Lizzie]

I was holding the fucking game.

[Chris]

We're gonna need to film that.

[Lizzie]

No, don't. Shane can't know about this. This is so bad.

[Chris]

This is so bad.

[Lizzie]

I can't believe we still.

[Chris]

God damn it. God, I don't know what to do. It's everywhere and I still didn't find. Park. Oh, God, help us.

[Lizzie]

Just park in this fucking spot.

[Chris]

No, the light. You can't. You literally cannot see us. I will not park where you can't see us. You think I drove.

[Lizzie]

It's overcast. Last day. Shh.

[Chris]

This is gonna.

[Lizzie]

This is darker.

[Chris]

It's gonna even out.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God. It's so bad. We lost all the toppings.

[Chris]

At least it was in, like, a place that's okay.

[Lizzie]

Oh, and it's not good.

[Ryland]

My belt is too tight. This hurts. This needs to be. I'm having tummy issues, guys.

[Lizzie]

We literally dropped the entire shake. Are there napkins in here? Of course not. You're gonna have to take this to get it clean before she never.

[Chris]

Are there, like, a bunch of. I think it's getting.

[Lizzie]

This is actually pretty good.

[Chris]

I wish we would know what the things on top would taste like.

[Lizzie]

I. You can. If you suck off right here. I've also sucked off of it.

[Ryland]

You want to take the toppings off of this one?

[Chris]

Did you slurp out of both of these?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I sucked on both of them.

[Ryland]

You can force.

[Chris]

Well, is there another straw in here from, like, years past?

[Lizzie]

You don't want to share a straw with me?

[Chris]

Not really.

[Lizzie]

What? Why? I'm so offended.

[Chris]

Okay, I'm just going to then.

[Lizzie]

Thank you. I'm gonna try and scoop this milkshake onto this napkin.

[Chris]

Is it just chocolate?

[Lizzie]

I don't think so. I think it's like chocolate and ube maybe.

[Chris]

I really like the colors on. Or the crunchies on top. I think it's blended Oreo.

[Ryland]

It's very, like, brownie chocolate.

[Chris]

I love it.

[Ryland]

It's delicious.

[Lizzie]

Do you want me to run and.

[Ryland]

Get you guys napkins from you?

[Chris]

I'll pick it up after.

[Lizzie]

We'll pick it up after.

[Chris]

No, here. Let's just. For sure this shake fucks.

[Ryland]

It's good.

[Lizzie]

It is good.

[Chris]

It really is good. We'll clean later, Lizzie.

[Lizzie]

I know I'm passing out food.

[Chris]

I mean, even the car.

[Ryland]

I'm sorry I didn't get more Crunchies, because I actually like them.

[Chris]

Their Crunchies are really good.

[Ryland]

Wow. They're not too crunchy.

[Chris]

Oh, my God. These are like little tiny fun onions. Onion rings. Look how small they are.

[Lizzie]

We love a small fun ring.

[Chris]

Whoa. Oh, my God. Really pose. Here, let me get your.

[Ryland]

That is cool.

[Lizzie]

Sorry, I need to get up.

[Ryland]

The shape is so good. Oh, my God.

[Lizzie]

Is there white cheese on this or is that mayonnaise?

[Chris]

I forgot that we got the cheesy nut or the cheesy.

[Lizzie]

What were they?

[Ryland]

Tots.

[Chris]

And our dessert. Here's some sauces. Do you have all. Do you have your meal, Chris?

[Ryland]

I unfortunately have to take the tomato off. I wish I could eat it.

[Chris]

Oh, I think your fries are back here.

[Ryland]

Thank you.

[Lizzie]

Okay. I tasted an onion ring.

[Chris]

It's onion ringy. Wow. Okay, let me dive into these fries.

[Ryland]

It's so cool looking.

[Chris]

Their fries taste a little more potatoey than the average chain.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I wasn't into that.

[Chris]

I'm not. I don't hate their fries.

[Lizzie]

This is not what was displayed.

[Chris]

Not at all. Their. Their advertising for that was like 10 out of 10, too.

[Lizzie]

It's okay. It's very salty.

[Ryland]

The cheesy toast.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

No, they're a letdown.

[Lizzie]

They're not a letdown.

[Chris]

They're just not as advertised. Yeah, you can grab one, Chris.

[Ryland]

I like the fries.

[Chris]

No, their fries are okay. I would say, like Wendy's. I might even like McDonald's fries better than Burger King's fries. And I don't like McDonald's fries, so that means I hate Burger King's fries. Wow. I would say. Yeah. Wendy's in and out.

[Lizzie]

That's a devastating McDonald's, Burger King. So should we just bite the sides of this? Like, I get one side, you get the other.

[Ryland]

Oh, these are pretty good. But not as flavorful as I thought.

[Lizzie]

The Whopper's not bad.

[Chris]

It's more potatoey than cheesy.

[Ryland]

Yeah, it's pretty good, though. But it's not.

[Lizzie]

I like.

[Chris]

Sorry, they were good.

[Lizzie]

I interrupted you technically, legally speaking.

[Chris]

Actually, yeah, they're pretty good.

[Lizzie]

I'd eat the whole Whopper.

[Chris]

Cut it in half so we can eat.

[Lizzie]

How do I cut it in half?

[Ryland]

Does anybody cut mine?

[Chris]

Dang. Don't you wish we were more prepared in this life?

[Lizzie]

Or you just eat the other half.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Just eat the other side. You know what I mean? We'll meet in the middle.

[Chris]

How many onions are there in that? Wow. It's messy.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Oh, my God. What do you think? Is what.

[Lizzie]

I think it's white cheese.

[Chris]

Actually, our Halloween. I mean, episode last year was Burger King, when we were witches and got chased.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God.

[Chris]

Can you believe that? That was a scary episode.

[Lizzie]

That was a scary.

[Chris]

Talk about spooky.

[Lizzie]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. The other side. Oh, no. You gotta bite where you bit. I watched spit come off your mouth. You know what? Have the whole burger. God damn it. It was the way that spit trailed off from you just touching your lips to it.

[Chris]

I just sucked the same straw as you.

[Lizzie]

It was different.

[Chris]

We're sharing saliva.

[Lizzie]

No, I didn't have a spit trip.

[Ryland]

You have the other half of this one.

[Lizzie]

Maybe. I don't know.

[Chris]

Wow. It is good.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I'll drive through and get you another one.

[Lizzie]

It's okay.

[Ryland]

It's pretty good. But is it near Wendy's?

[Lizzie]

It's near Wendy's. It's Wendy's adjacent.

[Ryland]

I would say Wendy's is quite a bit better.

[Lizzie]

I'll bite the other side where you didn't do the spit trail.

[Chris]

Okay. Let me take one more bite, and.

[Lizzie]

I'll just drink the shake off the floor.

[Ryland]

I do just. The purple bun is so fun. It's very, like.

[Chris]

The purple bun is really good.

[Lizzie]

You know how I feel about artificial colors. So I love the purple bun.

[Chris]

You always like the burger. I mean, not always, but you. You tend to like the burgers.

[Lizzie]

I like a burger. Do you want the other half person? She has not.

[Chris]

What is. Did you like this?

[Lizzie]

It's more dough than onion.

[Chris]

Oh, is there any onion?

[Lizzie]

That's what I'm saying.

[Chris]

Doesn't feel like it.

[Lizzie]

No. It's like someone said onion in another room, and then they deep fried that.

[Chris]

Mm. Did you? Thumbnail. Great. Look how I have all these people prepared.

[Ryland]

You've trained me well.

[Chris]

Here's what I'm gonna give them. Their branding is actual branding.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Good job, Burger King.

[Ryland]

Did you show the wrapper?

[Chris]

No. Oh, my God. No, I did not. You show the wrapper, and I'll show. Like, even their cups are even themed.

[Ryland]

It's upside down.

[Chris]

But we got nothing from Wendy's last week.

[Lizzie]

No, we literally got nothing from Wendy's. Dang. Which size was mine?

[Chris]

And these. Churro stick.

[Ryland]

I will say the burger is good and the sh. The shake is fantastic.

[Chris]

The shake is really good. And I love whatever the crunchies are.

[Lizzie]

If you had to guess. Gun to your head.

[Chris]

I should have just got three burgers.

[Lizzie]

We couldn't have known this was gonna happen.

[Chris]

No, we couldn't have.

[Lizzie]

We couldn't have known.

[Chris]

Should we just stop and get a Wendy's burger for lunch? Yeah, honestly, I think we could just drive through Wendy's and get a burger each for lunch.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God, that would be great. And I'll take one home to my husband.

[Chris]

Yeah, that's fine. Okay. These churro sticks look pretty good.

[Lizzie]

There's rough.

[Chris]

I think it's from. I think it's an us problem.

[Lizzie]

You're supposed to dip it in chocolate.

[Ryland]

You are skinny.

[Chris]

They are skinny. And there's.

[Lizzie]

Whoa. Can we not comment on the body style?

[Chris]

You're fun in this wig. My nanny thought Liz. Lizzy walked out from far away from where my nanny walks was. And my nanny thought Lizzy had cut her hair. And she was like. When she found out it was awake, she goes, oh, thank God. I was trying to figure out how I could compliment it. And I was like, she was just having a mommy meltdown.

[Lizzie]

She stopped mid high.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

And high is a single syllable word.

[Ryland]

I've never seen her do that.

[Lizzie]

I said, I didn't want you to see me like this.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Ryland]

Thank you.

[Lizzie]

Wow. Wow.

[Chris]

All right. Crunchy.

[Ryland]

Honestly, I'm not into it.

[Lizzie]

Oh, damn. I was going to say, should I even participate?

[Ryland]

It's like. It tastes like. It's way too crunchy.

[Chris]

The middle bite's better.

[Lizzie]

Did you dip it in the chocolate?

[Ryland]

I'm not into it.

[Chris]

It's not that quick. Great.

[Ryland]

No, it tastes, like, stale and hard. Like it's been sitting around for a while. Not the move.

[Lizzie]

That's the pitfall of it being skinny. God damn that milkshake. The.

[Chris]

The milkshake is so good.

[Lizzie]

And I like these cheesy potato balls.

[Chris]

They are good, too.

[Ryland]

If you get a burger and a shake, you'll be happy. That's what you got to do.

[Lizzie]

Do the cheesy balls, too.

[Chris]

It.

[Ryland]

Can I try onion ring?

[Chris]

Chris is right. Well, yeah, they're a little dull in flavor. It tastes more potatoey, though, than cheesy.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, with, like, too much salt. I regret the cheesy potato now that I put it in my mouth for another time.

[Chris]

Am I just doing the third?

[Lizzie]

The third one is too many.

[Chris]

Are we going to go through Wendy's?

[Lizzie]

Well, now I'm like, do we?

[Chris]

But yeah, I'm not getting any fries or anything. Just a burger.

[Lizzie]

Just a burger.

[Chris]

Should I get it? Lettuce? Wrap.

[Lizzie]

No, I don't think they do that.

[Chris]

You don't?

[Lizzie]

No, not there.

[Chris]

Well, I'm gonna have to figure out how to clean this car.

[Lizzie]

Well, we're gonna have to just get a new car. We're gonna have to leave this car on the side of the. We're gonna light it on fire till Shane someone stole it. We all agree it was Chris's fault though, right?

[Chris]

Definitely. Well, you guys, happy Halloween. I hope you have a great time. If you're a parent or a non parent, I'm sure it will be fun either way, right? We're either gonna like us parents. We're gonna. Well, in a couple of years it.

[Lizzie]

Will be really, really fun. Really, really fun.

[Chris]

Right now it's just like, do we kill ourselves and our lives to have a little bit of non fun?

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Ryland]

Is that what being a parent is like?

[Chris]

Oh, yeah, yeah. They're like I exclusively on the Instagram reels page of like, oh, we do everything we did before kids. Now it's just less fun.

[Lizzie]

Awful. I actually I genuine like Joe and I have so much fun taking him to like Costco and Trader Joe's.

[Chris]

Even when it's like gets hard or annoying, it is the best memory. And it is so much like, it is so much fun and it is so worth it to take them out. But in the moment, sometimes it does feel very hectic and chaotic.

[Lizzie]

But I will say it also, like, it has to be your kid.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

You don't struggle with someone else's kid like this.

[Ryland]

Then it wouldn't be worth it.

[Chris]

But you get home and you look at the pictures and you're like, oh, worth it. It was so fun.

[Lizzie]

You need the kind of love that only comes from a parent to their own child for it to be cool.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And if you don't have kids, well, hopefully you're raging it up. You're living it up. We're sleeping, getting slutty, get sleeped, getting.

[Lizzie]

Fucked, lay down in your bed, going.

[Chris]

To a party, curl up, watching Netflix, close your eyes.

[Ryland]

I loved whatever that was.

[Lizzie]

Sleep as long as you fucking want to.

[Chris]

Okay, well, we'll be back next week. We love you guys very much. Thanks for watching and supporting our show. Follow all of us on social media and we'll see you next week. Goodbye.

[Lizzie]

And that's the sip.

[Chris]

Free willingness.

[Lizzie]

Ah, you see what I'm doing? Ah, it's the poster.