Reacting to our Haters

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Reacting to our Haters"

The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon dives deep into the interplay between personal lives, parenting challenges, and the ever-present scrutiny from critics in their latest episode titled "Reacting to our Haters," released on November 27, 2024. Hosted by Ryland Adams and co-hosted by Lizze Gordon, the episode offers an uncensored and candid conversation that spans various aspects of their lives, blending humor with raw honesty.

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1. A Day for Unfiltered Conversation [00:39 - 02:23]

The episode kicks off with Ryland (A) expressing relief at having a rare day to podcast because he's in a particularly "chatty ass mood" (00:39). Lizze (B) immediately senses his mood, setting a tone of effortless banter. They discuss minor adjustments to their podcast setup, such as moving to different sides of the couch to improve appearances (01:20), highlighting their playful dynamic and attention to how they present themselves to their audience.

2. Navigating Parenting and Sleep Challenges [02:23 - 09:11]

A significant portion of the conversation shifts to parenting, specifically dealing with their babies' sleep patterns. Lizze shares her struggle with her baby, Billy, who exhibits manipulative behaviors like fake coughing to refuse bottles (03:28). Ryland discusses his own challenges with Max's sleep cycles, mentioning the "45 Minute Sleep Intruder"—a term he uses to describe sudden wake-ups disrupting nap times (28:30). Both hosts explore strategies to soothe their children, balancing the need for discipline with maternal instinct, and share humorous anecdotes about their methods, such as Ryland's unconventional workout routines to keep Max asleep (29:29).

Notable Quote:

Ryland Adams: "Sometimes we have to do hard things and accomplish things that make us a little uncomfortable." (02:59)

3. Career Aspirations and Moving to New York [08:13 - 09:35]

The discussion veers towards career opportunities, with Ryland expressing excitement about a potential new role as a co-host for the third hour of the Today Show following Hoda Kattan's departure (06:38). Lizze teases about helping him achieve this dream but acknowledges their current platform's limitations (08:32). They humorously debate the logistics of relocating to New York, including the challenges of managing a podcast from a new city while juggling family responsibilities.

Notable Quote:

Lizze Gordon: "You're very famous." (09:11)

4. Responding to Criticism and Media Misrepresentation [15:02 - 21:08]

A central theme of the episode is their response to negative feedback and how their podcast has been portrayed in other media. Ryland and Lizze recount a frustrating experience where a radio segment misrepresented their show, playing clips out of context and criticizing their energy and content (16:22). They express disdain for the portrayal, emphasizing their authentic and raw approach to podcasting. This segment underscores their resilience in the face of criticism and their commitment to maintaining their unique voice.

Notable Quote:

Lizze Gordon: "We're just shouting into an empty fucking void." (17:16)

5. The Drone Debacle: A Lesson in Persistence [36:12 - 43:36]

Ryland shares a detailed and humorous account of his attempts to use drones for capturing Christmas light footage. His story includes multiple failed attempts, expensive losses, and creative problem-solving techniques, such as rigging fishing lines and consulting Reddit threads (37:00). Lizze offers support and alternative ideas, culminating in a costly but successful retrieval of the drone from a tree (43:09). This anecdote highlights Ryland's determination and the sometimes absurd lengths to which podcasters go to enhance their content.

Notable Quote:

Ryland Adams: "I'm a Taurus. I'm stubborn, and I want what I want." (40:15)

6. Thanksgiving Preparations and Family Stories [43:36 - 55:35]

As Thanksgiving approaches, the hosts discuss their plans for traveling with two babies, sharing anxieties and strategies to ensure smooth traveling (44:16). They delve into the logistics of keeping their children entertained and managing sleep schedules on a plane. Additionally, they reflect on past experiences with family gatherings, tying in personal stories about interactions and unexpected gifts, such as a smoked turkey sent by a long-lost friend (72:05).

Notable Quote:

Lizze Gordon: "What am I supposed to do? Try again?" (49:04)

7. Social Media and Internet Negativity [25:34 - 38:18]

The conversation returns to the theme of online criticism, with Ryland and Lizze lamenting how the internet fosters negativity. They express frustration over fans who become hostile without any substantive engagement (15:21). This discussion emphasizes the impact of social media on their mental well-being and the challenges of maintaining a positive presence online amidst constant scrutiny.

Notable Quote:

Ryland Adams: "A happy life is not thinking about what strangers on the Internet think about it." (18:28)

8. Productivity and Work-Life Balance [49:05 - 54:34]

Balancing personal health with parenting duties becomes a focal point as Ryland shares his experience with a testicular infection and the importance of adhering to antibiotic treatments (11:03). The hosts discuss the broader implications of managing health while sustaining a demanding podcast schedule, highlighting the necessity of self-care and medical adherence in maintaining overall well-being.

Notable Quote:

Ryland Adams: "Doctors never tell you how up an antibiotic is because it's like, you can get so many more issues from it." (13:54)

9. Thanksgiving Treats and Holiday Preparations [60:06 - 73:25]

The episode winds down with a light-hearted segment on Thanksgiving pies, where the hosts taste-test various Crumbl cookies presented as pies. They humorously critique the textures and flavors, sharing their preferences and aversions (61:28). This segment serves as a relaxed conclusion to the episode, blending holiday cheer with their signature candid banter.

Notable Quote:

Ryland Adams: "It's that good? So good. I'm gonna take one more bite." (66:40)

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Conclusion

"Reacting to our Haters" offers listeners an intimate glimpse into Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon's lives beyond their on-air personas. From navigating the complexities of parenting and health issues to handling career aspirations and external criticism, the episode is a testament to their authenticity and resilience. Their ability to intertwine humor with vulnerability creates a relatable and engaging narrative, making this episode a must-listen for fans seeking genuine conversations on pop culture, personal struggles, and the dynamics of running a podcast.

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Note: This summary captures the essence of the episode by highlighting key discussions, notable quotes, and the hosts' engaging dialogue. Timestamps are included alongside quotes for reference.

Transcript

[A]

Oh, thank God we're podcasting today.

[B]

Why?

[A]

It's one of those rare days, that one, take one marker, where I woke up this morning in a chatty ass mood.

[B]

I. I could tell.

[A]

Can you believe that? And I was like, oh, thank God I have a podcast so I could just chat about everything and nothing.

[B]

And people have to pretend to care.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

I was not given a moment to fix my situation before being placed on the worst side.

[A]

We scream at Chris every week, just roll. Just roll. And then the one time Chris is like, I'm just gonna roll. We have complaints about it.

[B]

Well, you moved my side. I'm on my ugly side, so I gotta doctor it up.

[A]

Okay. I know a lot of you last week were like, wow, this is so disorienting. Like, they're on different sides. Sides. I bullied Lizzie into giving me this side because of my side part. She demanded. Honestly, I think less of you for giving in.

[B]

I felt bad because your life is so pathetic and sad. I was like, he needs something to live for. You know, she was sitting here, she.

[A]

Was sitting firm in it. She's like, I need to teach you a lesson that you just don't get what you want because you demand it. And I sat down in that seat, and then I had to go do a hard thing.

[B]

And the hard thing was getting the equipment that he forgot to get, which.

[A]

Is far from this shed. And she goes, well, since you're having to do that, I'm going to give in. But just know I want it to stand my ground.

[B]

I was never going to stand my ground.

[A]

I think you should teach me a lesson.

[B]

I'm a ass, but it's like, for.

[A]

Me to look beautiful.

[B]

Girl, you are also forgetting that on the walk up here today, I was like, I also can't let my baby cry.

[A]

Oh, right.

[B]

I can't do it.

[A]

Well, we're not talking about just crying to cry.

[B]

No, but I can't let him cry to cry either.

[A]

Oh, it's pathetic.

[B]

It's really up he goes. I go, I'll get you. Like, it just even, like, he'll go with, like this with his face. Oh, God, pick him up. He needs love.

[A]

Something hard. I'm having to learn with Max right.

[B]

Now because just letting him cry, well.

[A]

He'Ll have all of his needs met. And he just, like, he wants the toy that Jet has, or he doesn't get, like, put in the position that he wants to be put. Or like, in the bath, I have to lay him flat to rinse out the soap. Out of his hair. And he's like, I was having fun. Splashing, bashing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So he'll throw a little tantrum. And I'm like, sometimes we have to do hard things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we have to accomplish things that make us a little uncomfortable. And you just have, like. So I've been allowing him to be a little upset when he doesn't get his way.

[B]

Good.

[A]

For, like. Like, you can cry it out for a minute. And half the time, if I stop looking at him, he'll find a toy and, like, figure out, like, I literally.

[B]

Can'T look at him.

[A]

But he's.

[B]

God, he's like, icky.

[A]

He's an actor. If he sees me, he's like, I'm going to perform.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or if Jet, like, fake coughs. And I laugh at Jet for fake coughing, he's like, it's crazy.

[B]

I think Billy fake coughed this week.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Is he too young to be manipulative? When do babies start getting manipulative? Because he's been like, he's on some. I only want the nipple shit lately where he won't take a bottle unless I sneak the nipping.

[A]

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about that. For breastfeeding moms, it's, like, impossible to know how many ounces you're giving.

[B]

No.

[A]

Then aren't you questioning everything all the time?

[B]

I think a lot of people do, but, like, that's one of the you can drive yourself crazy spiral.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. I would drive myself crazy because with the bottles, I know exactly the ounces. And I was like, I guess you could pump and then feed a bottle. But I'm like, isn't one perk of breastfeeding not having to deal with all of the bottles?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then why would you put it in bottles? To know how many I do.

[B]

It says nine to 12 months.

[A]

For what?

[B]

Manipulation.

[A]

Oh, my kids are there.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

They're manipulating.

[B]

So he's not fake coughing.

[A]

Oh, well, no. As they're developing, he might leave. He might be fake coughing to, like. He might be, like, exploring his vo. His voice.

[B]

And then he must be, because it was funny and he was doing it so specifically. It was. Every time I put the bottle in his mouth, he'd get.

[A]

And I'd be like, he's telling you he hates it. I don't think it's manipulative.

[B]

I think sometimes he gets so dramatic, he'll go, like, when I put the bottle, I'm like, God damn, dude. You loved this shit yesterday. It's like, drop of a hat is different. He's like, yeah, but if I suck your nip, you can't leave. And I'm like, right? No, but I'm still going to leave and you're going to be hungry and daddy can't soothe you like I can. Don't do this to yourself, bro.

[A]

Daddy doesn't jump at every movement. No, see, and that's what's the fine line is apparent. Knowing, like, if I cater too much, they're gonna be like, spoiled brat. I don't know. Everyone's like, they're not even a year old. But, you know, it starts, they're manipulative.

[B]

We just googled it.

[A]

We're being manipulated.

[B]

We're being manipulated. It's like when French bulldogs went on the Internet and said I couldn't train them until they were 10 months old. Like, that's a lie. Like, that's a lie. And it's perpetuated by the French bulldog community. And it's crazy.

[A]

You spread it yourself for a long time.

[B]

Because I believed it. I was gaslit by beautiful French bulldog.

[A]

Wow. So nobody care. Were there any comments about me moving to New York or just nobody cares.

[B]

You literally didn't talk about it.

[A]

I know, but I gave the headline. And so I'm offended if in the comments nobody was like, wait, why is Ryland moving to New York?

[B]

I don't think. I think everyone was just like, lizzie looks ugly on that side of the couch.

[A]

If you feel ugly, we can swap.

[B]

No, I felt fine about it until I watched back the tape and everyone in the comment section confirmed my worst fucking fears, which is that I only have one good side, and it's this one that is so I'm just gonna talk to the light switch and you know it in post. Here's what you do in post. You'll just cut us in half, and then we both get to be on our right side.

[A]

Well, do you realize for a while I tried to just not look at you when you're talking, but then I felt like a psychopath.

[B]

So then I was just like, we're here now.

[A]

My bad part on display. You hate my middle part.

[B]

I hate. I hate your face too.

[A]

Now.

[B]

I'm just kidding.

[A]

So I'm moving to New York.

[B]

Oh, bye.

[A]

If you haven't heard the news, Hoda coffee is leaving the Today show.

[B]

Girl, that is like nine month old news that's older than your babies. Stop looking at me. So that it's normal that we're both just not.

[A]

They just announced Replacements.

[B]

And it's you.

[A]

Well, hold on. The third hour, you know, it's just like drinking, gagging fun. It's this basically gagging, giggling. You know, whatever. It's just this.

[B]

Gagging.

[A]

It's just this. But more pg. You can't cuss or have as much fun.

[B]

And you'd prefer. Sorry, it's nap time.

[A]

Okay. Oh, no, you don't need to check on it.

[B]

I know. My baby daddy text me. Fell asleep in Bouncer won't sleep in the snoo. 11:58. Great.

[A]

So I'm watching with bated breath.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

And I say they're like announcing the new, like, what it's gonna be. Because now it's Jenna Bush.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Daughter of George. George Bush the Junior. She's been the co host with Hoda for the third hour for a long time. And they announced that the new iteration of that once Hoda leaves is going to be Jenna and friends for a while. She's gonna have a rotating cast.

[B]

Are you friends with people?

[A]

Until she picks her permanent co host. So she's like dating co hosts. And tell me why. When I saw that, I thought, oh, my God, that job is mine.

[B]

Your hair becomes a little bit more princess dye when I put it behind your ear.

[A]

The way that with my full body, I was like, oh, they've like, the contract is in my inbox. Isn't that wild?

[B]

I don't. Not for you.

[A]

So I have to move to New York. And I already told Shane. He said he'll do it for me. He said it's fine. So nyc, here we go.

[B]

Do you know how early you're gonna have to wake up?

[A]

Well, it's the third hour, so a little less early. But still, it's my dream job to have a co hosted morning show and you're not getting me there.

[B]

You could handle like, that is so rude. I've literally said to you it's not my dream, but I will do anything with you forever.

[A]

Well, I wish that somebody would offer us that platform.

[B]

I think we got to just make the platform girl.

[A]

This. I mean, that's this.

[B]

I know, but like, I think we'd have to go a little bit harder in the. Is it. We did this years ago. Is it the taint or is it paint?

[A]

What?

[B]

What do you go harder in? Do you go harder in the paint or do you go harder in the taint?

[A]

Nobody knows what you're talking about.

[B]

They do because they answered this question years ago when I posted to the audience and you guys knew. I don't remember, but I can't remember either.

[A]

Okay. Anyways, that job is mine, so. Sorry. More famous people move out of the way.

[B]

You're very famous.

[A]

Well, no, I was starting to think, though, they'll give it to somebody. Like, I'm sure the contenders are already, like, the more popular hosts.

[B]

God, I want to say so many inappropriate things right now.

[A]

What?

[B]

I can't say them on air?

[A]

I think they should go with a girl and a gay guy.

[B]

Yeah, it's the best vibe.

[A]

Okay, so you guys are gonna be flying to New York a lot.

[B]

I'm fine with that.

[A]

I always wanted to go.

[B]

You've never been.

[A]

You'll be there weekly, so why do.

[B]

I feel like you're lying about that? Do you remember when Chris used to be like, I've never left Burbank. And then we. Like the first time we go to Colorado, I'm like, wow, Chris, you're really doing it. You're really leaving Burbank. He's like, oh, no. Like, I've been to Germany.

[A]

I've been in the U.S. i met in the U.S. nash. He's been everywhere.

[B]

Ladies, this bitch can't stop traveling. He's a full blown liar.

[A]

So if any of you know Jenna. Oh, my God. If any of you know Jenna. I followed all the executive producers. Like, it's happening.

[B]

Did you take your hair out from behind your ear?

[A]

Yes. I don't want my ear exposed. I have.

[B]

What's wrong with you?

[A]

I have this thing going on that I thought was a zit, and then I let Shane pop it, and now I think it might be something else.

[B]

Oh, I thought it was a mole.

[A]

I did, too, but I popped it and now it's worse.

[B]

Oh, God. Can I look at it up close right now?

[A]

Yeah. Shane was like, can you please go to a dermatologist? It's a lot.

[B]

Why is it brown? Because he tried to pop it.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You gotta go to a dermatologist for that. That's crazy.

[A]

So close to my. Yeah, it's a lot. Does anyone want a ball update? I'll keep it short.

[B]

Yeah. What's going on with your balls?

[A]

Well, after the ER did, nothing.

[B]

Oh, can I give the update? Yeah, because you know what I love saying, right?

[A]

What?

[B]

I told you.

[A]

So what did you tell me?

[B]

That you had epididymogeny infection.

[A]

Well, yeah, but you also told me to go to the er. So you and Shane both. Well, we got.

[B]

I mean, I would say if you're having pain on that at that level, you should always go to the er.

[A]

And my. When I. Okay.

[B]

And when you were at the R, I said, tell them you have epidural monobodomy infection. And you were like, what? And I was like, I don't know, but I'm positive it's an epidural.

[A]

No, my. So after the ER did nothing for me and was just like, take Tylenol or whatever you guys were saying. It's not Tylenol. It' ibuprofen, which is Advil and ibuprofen, because it's an anti inflammatory. They were like, whatever, take that. So two days later, I went to my primary care doctor and. Or three days and I was still in pain. I. Nothing had gotten better. And he took a good look at my balls.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you tell me I have epidemiologists and told me that just happened. He said, that just happens to guys. And I was like, is it because I'm working out too hard? Is it because I'm having, like, sex too much or not enough? And he goes, no, sometimes bacteria can just get in. And it is what it is. Then causes a slight infection, irritation. He put me on an antibiotic within 12 hours. Like, I took it that night. The next morning I woke up and the pain was gone.

[B]

Well, the other thing is, it's a crazy antibiotic because it's really hard to get medicine into your balls. Oh, that's why. It's. That's why Joe remembered it, because he's like, you can't go in the sun with it.

[A]

And I said, wait, so Joe had this.

[B]

Yeah. In the early Audis.

[A]

She was holding that information back for.

[B]

Me for a multitude of reasons, the first of which was Joe's own privacy.

[A]

Which is now flown out the door.

[B]

What am I going to do? I'm tired. And then the other reason why was because you told me. I asked you, I was like, can I talk to Joe about this? And you said, no.

[A]

And I was like, okay, well, no. I didn't want his feedback in real time while we were parking to go to the Sabrina Carpenter concert. I was fine with you telling Joe I didn't want the immediate feedback, like, oh, you have a torsion and you need to leave. Like, I want. Wanted to go to the concert.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm fine with anyone knowing, obviously.

[B]

Obviously. Obviously. But here's the deal. I do feel like when we share on this platform, it's private.

[A]

That's. I feel the same, which is insane.

[B]

And then people from my real life will be like, I saw that. I'M like, why are you reading my diary? It's an invasion of privacy. We're friends. Don't do that. Weirdos.

[A]

So then I was feeling so great that I forgot to take the antibiotic. And then Chris had freaked me out.

[B]

You gotta take the antibiotics all the way through because it'll mutate and get stronger.

[A]

So the other day, I had seen Chris before. I forgot, and I was like, I don't know. I feel so good. And Chris was like, no, you have to finish, or it could come back bigger and stronger than ever. And I was like, what's. Like, what kind of antibiotic is this?

[B]

It's all antibiotics.

[A]

I guess I've never. I'm not familiar with.

[B]

Hear this now. It's all antibiotics. Okay, okay.

[A]

All right. Well, I feel like, as an idiot and somebody who hasn't taken a lot of antibiotics in their life, the doctor really should have liked, put that home to me just a little bit.

[B]

Doctors never tell you how up an antibiotic is because it's like, you can get so many more issues from it. So you really only should take antibiotics when you need to take antibiotics. But they also don't tell women, like, are you on birth control? Because this antibiotic might cancel out your birth control. Like, that's an important thing to tell.

[A]

I also. I could feel. I can, like, feel it running through my body when I take the pill. It's a weird, like, sensation that I can feel. But, yeah, I was feeling so good that I just forgot one night, and the next morning, I woke up in the same ball pain.

[B]

Idiot.

[A]

Crazy. I was so upset with myself. I was like, oh, my God. So I set an alarm now for the time both, whatever. So I won't forget again. But after I took the antibiotic again, the pain's gone. So I'm keep taking it. I hope that I'm okay.

[B]

Let's just take it recreationally. I never had a problem with antibiotics. I can take them for fun. Do you want to talk about those?

[A]

Which ones?

[B]

The people on the radio.

[A]

Oh. Can I admit something to you?

[B]

You didn't look.

[A]

I didn't listen.

[B]

I mean, I didn't give you a time stamp.

[A]

I also feel like I shouldn't be listening to people. I guess they're not even haters because they don't know who we are.

[B]

No, they know who we are, and they act like they didn't know who we are. And I'm not even gonna plug your trash radio station, which, by the way, nobody listens to a regular radio station anymore. Unless they fucking have to. So the fact that one of you is actively seeking out our show and decided to say something nasty about us without even plugging us.

[A]

Okay, give some context.

[B]

Lizzie's friend.

[A]

Lizzie's friend was listening to the radio one bright and sunny morning because she.

[B]

Had no other options, having a great.

[A]

Time until she hears one of the co hosts bring up.

[B]

They did a segment on a radio talk show that nobody fucking listens to, point in case. Or case in point, whatever. The actual saying is, they play these shows multiple times over days on the radio because they know no one's fucking listening. You're shouting into an empty fucking void and you're listening to me. I was offended. I don't know if you can tell. Anyway, here's the backstory. These had a segment saying, like, what do you listen to to go to sleep at night? Like, what puts you to bed? What's so boring and stupid? It puts you to bed. And this girl goes, this podcast, this one that we're on right now, our. Our podcast. So my friend Sarah's listening to it. They don't even say our names or the name of the podcast, by the way, which is honestly fine, because we're not missing out on any real promotion because nobody listens anyway. They decided, imagine this bitch is trying.

[A]

To fall asleep right now.

[B]

I hope you sleep great, you nasty bitch. That's the other thing I told Sarah. I was like, all I do is scream on the podcast. So the fact that this woman can only go to sleep at one of my rage tantrums is nuts.

[A]

Well, that is wild, because people even comment frequently like, this is a little too much for me in the morning. Like, it's so much energy. And I'm like, well, you're at the wrong podcast if you don't want two people screaming about every inconvenience.

[B]

Yeah. And here's the deal. They decided to pick a segment of the podcast where you, Chris, couldn't figure out your headset, and I was too tired or damaged to reach forward to figure out your headset for you, and he was too damaged to figure out the headset. So It's. It's like 15 seconds of all of us looking like we don't know what the we're doing. Which, honestly, we don't know what the fuck we're doing. To be fair, our podcast is rarely about anything. But they were like. They played that thing. We're just like, oh, I can't reach it. You're like, oh, I can't reach it.

[A]

And that's funny to me.

[B]

And this guy's like, what's this podcast even about? Like, God, shouldn't they. Isn't the whole thing of a podcast that you know how to work the equipment? It's like, isn't the whole thing of a radio talk show that somebody fucking listens but nobody's fucking listening unless they fucking have to bitch. And this girl goes, I know it's not even about anything. I just put it on when I need noise. It's like, this is what you need when you need noise. Now I'm so rage of a thousand redheads. Like, get the fuck. Get a therapist. Thanks for listening.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh God. I was like, also when. When I got the call from Sarah, at first I was flattered, so I was like, oh my God, they weren't talking about me. And then she finds the clip and sends it to me. And I wanted to be like, sarah, don't tell me this. Don't call me. Like, I know there's Reddits about people fudgeing, hating me. I don't need to see the Reddits.

[A]

And that's why I didn't immediately go and listen because it's like drama channels, people that hate us. It's like I have no business like entering any of that into my space. I like to be blissfully unaware and happy. I don't want to be like doom scrolling. Especially when it's about me. I've been on the Internet long enough to know that like a happy life is not thinking about what strangers on the Internet think about it.

[B]

Other people's opinion is not our business, but it's been made mine.

[A]

I feel like with this reaction, I need to make it mine as well. Do you think we should live react?

[B]

I wish I knew the time stamp. Sarah said it's around 5, December 16th.

[A]

Is she going to introduce it?

[B]

No segment.

[A]

And there's also like a lot of wait. She doesn't like. They just start playing a clip from our show.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. They don't even give us the name drop.

[A]

Can you hear? Stimulating. But once again, Jake already gets that three hour nap during the day, so he doesn't really even need it. That's what she listens to.

[B]

I'm already bored of these people can.

[A]

Really fall asleep before. The first commercial break is great. Vanessa listens to this while she falls asleep. The sip podcast podcast you always listen to when you're awake or only for sleeping. Just, just for sleep.

[B]

This is for like, I just want noise.

[A]

Are you Guys, doing it again. No, you're not.

[B]

It's physically impossible. Hold on for a second. What is with these microphones?

[A]

That was just last week. That was when I was asking if you and Joe were having sex again after birth.

[B]

Oh, we were talking about something that Vanessa feels like we're talking about something.

[A]

I thought it was muted, but the wrong one.

[B]

Okay, there we go.

[A]

What? Impossible right now. What? What are you even listening to?

[B]

Exactly. That's why I like it. What are they.

[A]

Shout out. She likes it.

[B]

They're about to get nasty.

[A]

I just heard her say she likes it. That's all right. Sounds like they're trying to set up a podcast, but don't know how. Microphone. That's what a podcast on YouTube is. There's a little bit of the setup. It's like bringing you into our world.

[B]

You guys wouldn't get it because you're on an antiquated space that nobody else participates in anymore.

[A]

See, we're raw and authentic and we like to capture moments. Comments as we're setting the podcast.

[B]

Also, we're mothers.

[A]

Well, this one was just talking about a three hour nap, so maybe they have. Maybe their mothers too.

[B]

Yeah, it's physically impossible right now.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh. Brutally agonizing.

[A]

Everything hurts. Yes. Okay, me too. I know.

[B]

Why are you still messing with the microphone?

[A]

Why wouldn't they edit this out? Because we're setting up. It's YouTube. Are you kidding me? Maybe your show would be more popular.

[B]

If it was a little more authentic.

[A]

Dick.

[B]

Now he's mad. See the way that they deconstruct us for no reason without even plugging us. You sleep well, doesn't continue. Yeah, they just go off on how there's no editor. They're not professional.

[A]

We can't control it.

[B]

We wish we could. Oh, my God. Guess what? I bet we make more money than you. And I'm still middle class. Yeah.

[A]

I think they're done with us. Wow, that was flattering.

[B]

You're crazy.

[A]

I liked that, you know? Wow. I needed that today.

[B]

You like that?

[A]

I'm glad that I didn't. I mean, I think it's hilarious. Oh, my God.

[B]

The way it made my stomach drop once when I realized they were being nasty, I was like. That hurt.

[A]

Tell me why I, like, thought we were funny, though. Even in the audio, without the visual context. Because it is. I understand they're reacting to a podcast, but really this is more of a video medium for us than it. Like, nobody even really listens on. Like, there are people that listen to the audio platform. But I even see most of that is, like, I listened on audio before. I'm now watching on video. Like, I feel like our show is a visual show and podcasting is kind of going in that direction because of YouTube. So they're just behind the times and still stuck on radio. So, yeah, we wish you guys well.

[B]

Good luck. Good luck out there.

[A]

I'll see you live from New York with Jenna.

[B]

And I'll be in his dressing room.

[A]

Trying to figure out the podcast equipment.

[B]

For real, though. That's so funny.

[A]

Shopping for clothing is hard. You're either driving to the store and trying on a million things in the fitting room or ordering clothes online and hoping and praying that they'll fit. Luckily, there's a better way. Stitch Fix online. Personal styling makes it all so easy. It removes how overwhelming figuring out my style is. And that's why I love having a Stitch Fix stylist. She really knows what works for me. I get pieces that make me look and feel great, and it's a real confidence boost. All I do is give my stylist my size, style, and budget preferences. I order boxes how and when I want. There is no subscription required. She then sends just for me pieces, plus outfit recommendations and pro styling tips. I keep what I love and I send back the rest. It is truly so simple. I don't know how she does it, but every time the clothing fits perfect. It's like having my own personal style support person. It's incredible. No stores, no crowds, no stress. Just personalized looks that you love. Stitch Fix makes it all so easy. It's personal styling for everyone. You can get started today@stitch fix.com. sip that. Stitch fix.com. sip stitch fix.com. sip.

[B]

My dad and I are talking about doing a podcast together, too.

[A]

You are?

[B]

Yeah, but it's. We're so neither of us can figure anything out. Technology.

[A]

What's it going to be about?

[B]

I thought it would be. I'm just. I don't. This is not set in stone, so don't get excited about anything. Like, we were just talking about it, but I thought it would be kind of fun if we did a segment where, like, when I have issues in parenting, I call him.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And we discuss it because it's kind of interesting to have a father daughter perspective on something.

[A]

Wow. There's a really good title in there too, somewhere.

[B]

Well, let me know when you find it.

[A]

That is a really sweet sentiment. And then it's like every week it's like tackling a parenthood issue.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. With somebody Wow. I like. I'm in.

[B]

I like it too. I just. We got to figure out how to do it. And I was talking to him on the way here this morning. He goes, I bought a recorder that uses cassette tape for audio. And I was like, well, we can't use that. And I had him do a segment that I was going to add in my vlog, but I can't figure out how to download it the way he sent it on Vimeo. And I'm just like. And then he gets so mad. He's like, literally. It's so. He's so livid about the fact that we cannot figure out how to share Google Drive. Girl. I know. Trust me. I said Google Drive like I knew what it meant.

[A]

Okay, well, we'll never hear this podcast. It sounds like.

[B]

No, I'm going to try and find a way to do it, because if people can do long distance podcasts and upload them every day, then we can figure it out.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know the woman who, like, can't open an app.

[B]

No, I literally can't.

[A]

Okay. I feel like I've been talking a lot, so do you want to hit a few of your topics this week?

[B]

I mean, I did just scream at the people on the radio, but I.

[A]

Will say, I think I. I also indulged. That was great.

[B]

That was great for our race.

[A]

It was a nice release.

[B]

I hope that woman was listening.

[A]

I'm sure she's asleep. We're 20 minutes into the podcast. She is out.

[B]

She's out. You're welcome.

[A]

I don't know that anything's brought me more joy.

[B]

You're sick.

[A]

I'm so glad I didn't listen when you said it. Oh, my God.

[B]

Also, shout out Sarah. Thanks for bringing that to our attention. But also, don't do that again.

[A]

Maybe do it again. Or just call Rylan.

[B]

You have Rylan's number. I'm postpartum. I can't handle any negativity right now.

[A]

It is funny, though, like, being on the Internet, the comp. The compliments people will give to your face.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not realizing that it's actually kind of an instant.

[B]

It's really insulting.

[A]

Yes. Like, there's so often people will say, like, oh, I used to watch you, like, five years ago. I'm like, oh, I'm still there, right? No, it's nice. Okay.

[B]

No, it's nice. Mike, can I share a story of yours? It's not mine. It's yours.

[A]

Well, okay. I don't know.

[B]

Is it?

[A]

Okay, Well, I Don't know what it is.

[B]

I'm just gonna do it, okay.

[A]

If I hate it, I'll bleep it.

[B]

Okay. So when. When we go out and people say hi to you, I asked why you don't say, like, do you want to take a picture?

[A]

Because that's crazy. I can't assume that somebody wants a photo of you.

[B]

Well, it's because one time you did say it, they said, no.

[A]

Really?

[B]

You forgot that. He was like, do you want a picture? They're like, that's okay.

[A]

Well, sometimes they'll be holding their phones, and I don't know if it's because they're like, ready to take a photo or like, whatever. So I think in that instance, somebody was holding their phone and I was like, oh, did you want to take a picture? No. Okay, cool. So I don't ask. I really don't anymore. I just, like, meet them and talk to them about whatever they want to talk about.

[B]

Yeah, cute. Cool. Anyway, photo.

[A]

They should ask. Yeah, See, and that's why I used. Okay. It's all coming back to me. I used to be like, well, what if they're too nervous to ask? Because, like, if I ran into, I don't know, Ariana Grande, I wouldn't want to, like, request of her a photo. But if she offers the photo, I'm going to be like, yes.

[B]

Really? Because I'm always like, why do you want a picture with a person that's like, you're obviously not friends. Do you know what I mean? Like, you're obviously not organically hanging out a person.

[A]

You. You. Like, I don't think it's weird. I don't think that's weird.

[B]

I mean, just like the collection of the photos themselves, like, I can't. I can't put an emotional value on them.

[A]

If you saw Taylor Swift, you wouldn't want a photo with her. If you saw.

[B]

I would just instantly start crying and I would just say, thank you for everything that you've done for me.

[A]

And you wouldn't want a photo to remember it forever.

[B]

I don't. The photo doesn't change the moment for me.

[A]

It doesn't change it. But you can like, like frame it and look back at it and be like, oh, my God.

[B]

I guess I might have a different perspective on it just because I've been next to people who other people do want photos with. And I'm like, this is not a nice.

[A]

She's talking about, like, real famous people, not just Internet people.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Actual, actual famous people. Like people who do press tours on the radio. Famous. How do we get on that?

[A]

So what's going on with your 45 minute? What?

[B]

Okay, get this. Apparently there's a sleep thing that babies deal with called the 45 Minute Sleep Intruder. Creepy as hell.

[A]

Did you make this up?

[B]

No. Stacy told me about it because I noticed that Billy, with his naps during the day, was starting to wake up like clockwork between 40 and 45 minute. Mark could not soothe himself back to sleep because he used to be, like, able to go back to bed.

[A]

So a sleep cycle.

[B]

He can only get one sleep cycle. And then he's up, up, and unless I do the most that is gonna stay up. And he. And then I'm like, well, I can't have him being over tired because then my life is over.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I will do anything in this world to save the nap. So I now I have a timer on my phone for 40 minutes. And then I just wait outside the door because I've figured out if I get in there before he starts really raging with the pacifier, he won't take the pacifier. He literally acts like when I'm trying to put the pacifier in his mouth, that I'm like, waterboarding him. He's like. He panics even harder. He starts arching his back. And I read online, when they arch their back, it's over. Don't let them arch their backs. That means there's cortisol in their bodies. And I'm like, oh, fuck, he's arching. Get him, get him.

[A]

Pick him up.

[B]

He's arching. So I like to get in there. I get in there and I pick him up. And I used to walk two miles a day, but now because of this nap bullshit, I fucking can't. So I've started changing that in, like, my workout now is me saving the nap. So I hold him like a medicine ball and I do. I like, I march in place and I'll like, lean to one side with him. So I'm working out the obliques where all my extra skin is right now from the pregnancy. Or I'll like, literally, I. I'll get into like a really wide lunge stance and go side to side with him. So I'm working up my, like, everything. I'll. I'll actually straight up squat holding his fat ass the whole time just to put him back to sleep because I have to do it for 20 minutes. Because I also read to get a baby back into their deep sleep cycle because at this age, they're starting to come more Online, they can see more, they can hear more, their brains are working. Anytime they get a new skill set, apparently they have a harder time sleeping. I think the skill set he has is sticking his tongue out, which is enraging. This little bitch can't sleep because he's going like this. Like, it's not even. There's, like. No. There's no energy behind it. It's just a lazy. And it's not. There's a difference between when he sticks his tongue out for performance with a soft performance and when he's hungry, because the hungry tongue is this, but this is the performance tongue is this. And that's keeping him up because there's no other skills.

[A]

He has to practice the skills. Yeah. Now that Max can stand in the crib, he's like, I gotta practice this the entire nap.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I know. It's a nightmare. So I. I've been working out holding him because. Oh. To get him back into a deep sleep. The whole point is you. You want to help them get that second cycle. Because at this age, they still need a lot of sleep, and if they don't get it, they're really upset.

[A]

Yeah. And it's good for br. Develop. It's good for everything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, they should be sleeping.

[B]

So if he's not arching his back and fussing, I'll give him five minutes to get himself back down. And he's now twice been able to get himself back down, but only for 10 minutes because he doesn't hit that deep cycle. And that's the intruder. So now I'll be watching on the monitor in the mornings. And Joe, he's still in our room. So Joe's sleeping. And I'll text him, I'll be like, you better stop breathing, because the intruder is afoot. And if you breathe too loud, he's gonna find you, see? And he's gonna kill you.

[A]

Now, you know what I. When your babies are napping, and I like when I would scream at everyone, like, don't slam the doors. Shut up. Don't make my dog spark. Because it's like, if the nap is ruined, your day is ruined.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because they're tired.

[B]

Well, that's why I do everything in my power to save the nap. So I'll do the psycho lunging. I'll do the bouncing for. And it's like, I read that it takes 20 to 30 minutes for them to get back into a deep sleep. So I will literally. I don't know if you've done this with a baby that's 14 pounds, but it is exhausting.

[A]

Is he already 14 pounds?

[B]

Girl, he's big. Big.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

It's cuz he's long, cuz he's not chunky. Like he only has a couple of folds. Like he's not a full Michelin baby. But I'll. I'm just bouncing like this. And then it's also like I'm. I'm scaring myself because I will. This has to be a postpartum anxiety thing or postpartum OCD or something, maybe even psychosis, because it's a little crazy. But I will take him to a specific corner in our room because it's the darkest corner of the room and it's the one wall where there's no mirrors and there's no lights. So I make him face the corner of the room. But it scares me like Blair Witch, like, because they made all their victims face a corner in a room and it's almost scared the shit out of me. And it's so fucking dark in there that I'm like, is there a demon that's making me be in this corner right now? And I'm just standing there swaying inside, lunching with them like a psycho and like, I don't know. Excuse me. I'm having a lot of scary visual thoughts. So I'm writing a horror movie about it. Oh, I'm like, should I have a notes pad going of like all the things that I'm scared of now? Because it's like in the middle of the night, I come back in from changing a diaper in his bedroom. We come back into our room, but I've left the door in his bedroom open so that I could have a little bit light to make it down the hall. Which means I'm fully backlit, full silhouette. What happens if my silhouette leaves and in the mirror there's still someone standing there? See, things like that are freaky or like I turn the shush machine on and the shush machine is a fucking lifesaver. Because one of the things that you taught me is like. Like swaddle, shush something. The five S's. There's four, there's more swaddle swish.

[A]

There's two different theories from two different people, but they're the same ones.

[B]

It's like Happy Baby on the Block.

[A]

And the whatever, the relax or I.

[B]

Don'T know, I got it from you and Kate. So I turn the shusher on and it's just a machine that goes shh, shh, shh. And it's enraging. But also now I love it because it puts my baby to sleep and I don't have to get lightheaded. Shushing. And then I was thinking, what if more randomly, I just wake up in the middle of the night and some like, the shusher sounds going, but the shusher's not in the room. Oh, like, what if there's just a demon in my room? Shushing.

[A]

Do you feel safe?

[B]

No, I'm obviously unwell. This is what I'm talking about. Like, is this. Is this psychotic? Like, is this. Should I talk to a healthcare professional about this? Because whenever I have to go do those postpartum surveys at the doctor, they never ask about demon things. But I'm having a lot of demon things. Like, literally, I'll be holding him and he'll look over my shoulder and I'll think, oh, he's. He's probably looking at one of our guardian angels. And I turned around one day just to say, love you, in case it was someone I loved. And then I was like, great, it's probably not someone I love. It's probably a demon. And I just pledged allegiance to the demon and welcomed him into my life by telling him I loved him. So that's what I'm doing.

[A]

I've had a whole nightmare of a situation and I've brought it upon myself. Really?

[B]

Oh, no. Demons.

[A]

No. Oh, a little less demonic.

[B]

What is it? Well. Oh, wait, can I just close this off?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If any of the moms have dealt with the 45 minute intruder and have success stories or, like, know the duration of what this could possibly be, or any kind of tips that don't include me swaying for 20 minutes in a dark corner of my house, I'd love to hear it. So just sound off in the comments below. Okay.

[A]

It's crazy how fast I forget.

[B]

Oh, you literally already forgot.

[A]

I already forgot what we did in that situation. Oh, crazy, huh?

[B]

I think you let them cry it out to it.

[A]

Well, we.

[B]

Oh, no, that was. That was when you pulled them out of the swaddles. That's what everyone does when they pull out.

[A]

Yeah, that's when we pulled them. Yeah.

[B]

Which I will not be able to do.

[A]

Yeah, it's brutal.

[B]

I can't do it. You also might not have had an intruder.

[A]

I don't think I did.

[B]

I don't think everyone has an intruder. Not everyone has an intruder. Not everyone has sleep regression.

[A]

We had sleep regression.

[B]

But also, not everyone's baby can do this, so.

[A]

So I, like a psychopath, like, lit up the entire house, all the palm trees. I've been living for it. You know me, I'm trying to be the Christmas queen, having a great time. And I was like, oh, we already have a drone that we had gotten years ago. And so I learned how to do that, and it was working, but it wasn't giving me, like, the cinematic Christmas fantasy that I wanted.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I was like, let me up the ante just a little bit. So I got one of those DJI one, which is, like a different camera that we brand of camera that we use. And then I realized that one's, like, for creators, but you can't customly fly it. It does annoying things, like flies around a person or, like, it's to follow a person. It's like a. It has all these programs where I can launch it off.

[B]

Take Chris out of work. Yeah, Chris, are you. He bought one.

[A]

But I was like, I need to be able to manually control this to get the shot of my Christmas light lights. So now this is. And both of these drones were a huge learning curve. I've spent, like, hours trying to learn how to work them, and then they were both failed. So I was already frustrated, miserable, and just like, I want my Christmas fantasy to come to life. And Shane just kept saying, stop frustrating yourself. Just hire a drone operator. I was like, I want to be able to know how to use the drone, and I want to start incorporating the drone into my vlog so I can have establishing shots to wherever I arrive. You know, I want to up the ante on the vlog.

[B]

Are you literally gonna bring a drone everywhere you go?

[A]

I mean, no. I think I'll spend a day or two, like. Like at going to places I frequent and getting establishing shots. So, like, when we're back home, you'll, like, fly down into the house, you know, like more of, like a reality show. And that's why I was like, I'd rather know how to do it and have it in my back pocket if there's a drone shot I want to get. So then I'm going to the store, and I'm convinced on the new one that I. I have to have, and it's still a cheaper one because I'm not experience an experienced drone flyer. I don't want to ruin it. And, yeah, which is also annoying if you get a drone over a certain weight. You have to, like, register it with the faa and you have to get all of these. Like, I'm trying to film my own Christmas lights on my own property, but relax.

[B]

You love It. If you were a pilot, Ryland, that.

[A]

Would be kind of.

[B]

That'd be pretty cool. Captain Ryland, if I shall I be so bold.

[A]

And so I'm at the camera store. Shane's with me. The guy is talking me into the one that's very expensive, and he's just telling me how he has it and how it's incredible and how there's sensors and how it's smart and does all these things. And I go, I don't think I need that. I'm just trying to get, like, a few exterior shots and 1080.

[B]

Just a gay guy trying to film my Christmas lights.

[A]

And Shane's like, well, then I'll get that one. And I was like, are you calling me cheap right now? Like, he. Like, I felt like I was bullied into the more expensive one. And then I get the expensive one. I learned how to fly it. I'm having a blast. I'm getting all of the shots. And then while I'm flying it, I'm like, oh, this is a good shot. If I went, like, 15ft back, it would be even better. And so I'm 15ft back, but I'm in the middle of the driveway, and I'm, like, only looking at the monitor that I'm recording. And so I just floor it straight up because I want the big reveal of all the house and the palm trees. Boom. Stuck in a fucking tree that I was. But I had no idea there was a tree above me. I had no idea there was a tree above me because the tree's, like 20ft to the right. And for some reason, it just. It's so big and so old that it hangs over so far. And I thought I had fucking sensors on my drone, okay? There's sensors on the top, on the sides, and it's supposed to tell you if you're about to hit something. Mayday. Mayday. I guess not in pitch black when I'm trying to film Christmas lights.

[B]

God.

[A]

And so I. Like a fucking idiot, I'm like, I've got to solve this problem. I just dropped so much money on a drone. I can't lose this now. And I also thought I was never going to be able to recover the footage because the memory cards in the drone that stuck 35ft up into the tree.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, so this is my third drone. Probably six hours of learning how to fly and operate a drone. And Shane's like, I never want to hear the word drone again. Like, I'm so sick of you. Just hire a Fucking drone operator. I was like, no, I'm a Taurus. I'm stubborn, and I want what I want.

[B]

This is very you.

[A]

And so he's like, okay, I will help you get it out.

[B]

Ryland will literally be an indecisive psycho about something for so long that it costs him double the amount of money.

[A]

Oh, this.

[B]

Then it would have cost it if he just did what he was always going to do.

[A]

This drone debacle immediately, I could have got the highest end drone with the amount I've spent on drones in the past week.

[B]

Tell him who came here this morning.

[A]

And so I. That. That night I'm like, well, I need to get it before it dies, because I'm trying to mobile transfer the footage so that I don't lose it in case the drone's broken up in the tree. And so I'm like, okay, Shane, we're gonna blow up the air mattress as a landing pad. We're gonna take it out there. Lizzy had a great idea of flying the, like, the less expensive drone up to hit the drone to pop it out.

[B]

I was gonna. I offered to come over with Joe and James because they're actually like, James fucks around with our drone all the time, and he's really used to piloting it, and his dad's a very fancy.

[A]

But you don't want to run it into a tree then.

[B]

No, but I was. I had, like, a different idea. Like, I was thinking we might put, like, duct tape on us on a ball on the end of it and see if we could tape it onto your drone and pull the drone out with that or something like that.

[A]

And so I was at first, like, trying to throw things at it. I can't throw that high. It's too tall. And then I took Lizzie's idea, and I'm just trying to hit it with the drone. And I was like, this is gonna work. So then I went down a huge Reddit thread of different ideas that people do. A lot of people were like, slingshot. I was like, I don't have the time to wait for that to come on Amazon. So then I saw people were tying fishing line to their drone and going over the branch, latching it and shaking.

[B]

Them right with the hook.

[A]

No, just so you tape fishing line to your. Your other drone that you're flying.

[B]

Right?

[A]

You fly it up and.

[B]

But how do you get the fishing line on the branch?

[A]

Yeah. And so I was. I got smart. I did that. I tried three different times. I got. The first time I got the branch Below the branch I needed. The second time, it went over and didn't catch the. Like, the ribbon used. Didn't catch. And then the third time.

[B]

Ribbon instead of fishing wire.

[A]

I didn't have fishing wire.

[B]

It's so gay. It's beautiful. So I used this great ribbon.

[A]

It was beautiful green. I was like, I'm using the Christmas wrapping ribbon. Whatever. I need to save this drone that I just splurged on. And then the third time, I crash it into the tree and it comes falling down, misses the air mattress, and breaks in two. And I was like, cool, Cool. Like, we're like. We're like 40 hours invested into, like, getting drone footage for this at this point. And then I'm so angry, but hours later, I'm talking myself down. Like, had it worked, my expensive drone probably would have fallen and missed the air mattress. And then I would have been out that money.

[B]

So you really dodged a bullet.

[A]

And so then I was like, whatever. I'm gonna try call all the tree fucking trimming services that you bought.

[B]

A tree trimming service. I wondered how you got that person here.

[A]

I had to get real creative. Who has booms?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who has boom lifts or, like, a scissor lift? A scissor lift or a boom lift. And it's like, people that hang Christmas lights or tree people. And so I was like, okay. So I called the tree person. He luckily got out first thing this morning.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

He went up into the tree. God was like, here's your drone. I was like, Thanks. 300 later.

[B]

Oh, that's it. Guess we're never getting new doors.

[A]

I was like, do I just leave it up there and let it die, or do I invest 300 more into this drone?

[B]

Now you gotta sink the ship, baby.

[A]

So it's back. Yay.

[B]

So we're gonna have drone footage in today's episode. Oh, did I just break this?

[A]

Can you just hold it the rest of the episode?

[B]

Yeah, why not?

[A]

We're only here for a few more minutes.

[B]

Put this on the radio. You. Oh, God damn it.

[A]

Write that down. 40. You have to cut the C word or just bleep it. I'm getting ready to travel with two babies, and I'm getting pretty nervous about it.

[B]

I think it's gonna be great.

[A]

We're going to Colorado for Thanksgiving. I got bold and brave and thought, we're big girls. We could do hard things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so Shane and I were packing those babies up, and we're headed to Colorado.

[B]

Hell, yeah.

[A]

And I'm just, like, waking up in the middle of the night being like, do I have everything they need? Are they going to be able to sleep in a pack and play? Because they've never slept in a pack and play. They always have their full size crib with their luxurious mattress and their velvety soft sheets.

[B]

It's gonna be fine.

[A]

I hope so.

[B]

Oh, I.

[A]

My babies are not really lap babies at the moment. They are big. As they're moving, they want to climb. Everything's a jungle gym to them right now. Even just like sitting in a room with the two of them is a full time job at the moment because they're both crawling up onto everything, pulling themselves up, standing, moving around it, and then they're just like falling. So it's like I got to put on their back like the sponge head backpacks I got.

[B]

I will say I started bullying your children about their sponge backpacks because dork city, am I right? But they're pretty cute.

[A]

They are pretty cute. And you can get them in all different kind. They're those, like little backpacks that have like a soft thing, a head pillow.

[B]

Because Ryland's kids have no fear.

[A]

They love to even just climb up on, like the pillow that they eat on and then roll off it and think it's hilarious. And it's like, idiots. You got nice.

[B]

Joe was like, I can't wait till Billy's bigger and I can just tell him what a idiot he was. Just like, dang, that's kind of cruel. And I say a lot of nasty things about my baby. It's going to be fine.

[A]

It's going to be fine. I'm worried more than anything.

[B]

It's such a short flight. It's such a short.

[A]

Two babies on a plane.

[B]

It's such a short flight.

[A]

Oh, God, it's.

[B]

If it is awful, it'll only be awful for two hours, right?

[A]

And I'm fine with the awful. I'm not fine disrupting other people with the awful.

[B]

Just disassociate, do you. You can use any mantra in the world. Sometimes I just go in my head.

[A]

Should I go offer it to the other passengers too?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, while my baby's crying, use this.

[B]

Mantra bands to make me dance. Bands to make me dance. That's just what I think on a loop. That. And sometimes it's a more. It's a more helpful one, which is like I. I breathe in something, but I breathe out worry. Oh, I inhale, calm, exhale, worry, period. Because if you're calm, they'll be calm.

[A]

Sometimes I'm gonna Be calm. I'm just worried they're gonna want. They're not gonna want to sit still. They're gonna want to, like, think the plane's a jungle gym. So I don't know.

[B]

Good luck.

[A]

Thanks.

[B]

Report back. Have you gone on Reddit and looked into some advice? Those.

[A]

Yeah, I have. I'm going to give them screen time for the first time ever. I'm just gonna download some things and let, like, that's my worst case scenario. I'm going to pack snacks, and hopefully that will take up a big chunk of our time.

[B]

Have you seen the painters tape stuff? People will bring painters tape on an airplane and they'll just put it on the chair in front of them, and the kids will just keep pulling it off.

[A]

Pulling it off. And I just keep putting it back on.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. I'm just, like, not going to pack anything for myself. I'm just going to, like, put a couple of outfits in and, like, take care of my babies. But I think it's going to be worth it. I think it will be fun.

[B]

I want to cut.

[A]

Come.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

That would be great.

[B]

I can't come.

[A]

That would be so much fun.

[B]

I would love to, though.

[A]

Everything else I have on here is boring. And we had some good hot topics, but now we've been talking for so long.

[B]

No, no. Really quick update from me.

[A]

What?

[B]

Do you remember when I was screaming about the birth certificate situation?

[A]

Oh, we remember.

[B]

And then Rylan made me stop before I said things that I couldn't take back on the Internet. Yeah, well, I got the birth certificate in the mail, and it's not a birth certificate.

[A]

Social Security card.

[B]

No, I already had the Social Security card. That's how.

[A]

Sorry to bring up trauma for you. Sorry to trigger you.

[B]

They literally charged me $60 for a document that looks like a birth certificate, but they have redacted all of the important information on it, so they sent me a document that has a stamp on it that says, this is not a real birth certificate. It's for informational use only. Who wants that? And they have blacked out any of the important information that would qualify me as his fucking parent.

[A]

What?

[B]

Why would anybody need this? Why do you offer this? Why did you do this to me? I'm not a horrible person. I'm obnoxious and I'm full of rage, but I don't deserve this. Gavin.

[A]

Oh, it's the governor's problem, obviously.

[B]

I don't know who else to blame at this point. And the other thing is, my. My dad he goes, send it back to who, bitch? Who the fuck do I send this back to? He's like, this. The county of Los Angeles doesn't want you to have something wrong. The county of Los Angeles doesn't want me to succeed. The county of Los Angeles wants me to burn and turn into a piece of nasty rubble on the side of the road.

[A]

Well, so how do you get a real one?

[B]

I know, dude. I'm just not gonna.

[A]

I guess you're.

[B]

I can't. What am I supposed to do? Try again? Spend another $60 and have them send me something else that's redacted with a different reason stamped on the front of it? What in the.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

I opened it and I was like, you're kidding me. I literally was so excited too. I was like, oh, my God. Like, I was gonna take a picture of it and be like, look at me. Like, I've got, like, a real baby now. A certified baby. Nope. It's easier to get a cabbage patch birth certificate than it is this. Like, what in the. What in the.

[A]

I'm so sorry.

[B]

What the.

[A]

I think you should burn a building down. Put this. Put this task now on your husband. You tried hard enough. This is where we stop. This is where we stop. You know what? I. I did have a revelation myself this week, because on the antibiotics and with my ball pain, the doctor was like, you shouldn't really be working out right now because it will just inflame it more and bother it. So I haven't been working out for a week. I have so much more energy. Is working out overrated? I literally have so much more energy to do everything else, and I realized I'm exerting so much energy while working out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That I'm a tired bitch in my real life.

[B]

No, that's. I literally work out to be a tired bitch.

[A]

Oh. See, I think I could use the extra energy, and instead, I'm just kill. Because I can't go to a workout class and not be the best one in the workout class.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

So, yeah, I don't know. I'm just reevaluating.

[B]

All right, so no Hot Topics.

[A]

Well, there's some good ones. Yeah, I think we could do them rapid fire.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. One lady that enraged me. This. You put this on the document. I just didn't.

[B]

I put all of them.

[A]

I can't get behind this trend of, like, somebody getting in their car. Car to film their tick tock. It's like, I just can't stand, like, people make food at home. And then go sit in their car to try. I'm like, what are we doing?

[B]

About to leave your house to go sit in the car. Right.

[A]

But we're going to pick up food. Like, got it. People are like going out of there. They're like, using their car as their set.

[B]

Bought a cyber truck to use as a set.

[A]

I didn't buy a cyber truck. My husband bought a cyber truck and he wanted that cyber truck. I just, I sold my Tesla so that I didn't have to pay for car insurance for that car.

[B]

Oh, I love that. For you.

[A]

Yeah. Why would I?

[B]

So the backstory here is a woman left her house to sit, her car to make a TikTok, and the contents of the TikTok is what we're really about.

[A]

Yeah. So basically she has five year old twins and only one of her twins got invited to a birthday party and she's all upset that both twins aren't invited and she's mad about it and she wants to tell the mom. I didn't even finish the whole thing because her setup was so enraging to me.

[B]

Oh, my God. She doesn't actually seem enraged by the way. She's just confused.

[A]

She's like, why I was enraged at her setup. I didn't say she was enraged.

[B]

Oh, got it. Okay. Bad, but. Oh, you were. Got it. Sorry.

[A]

To be honest, I'm the enraged one.

[B]

I might have fallen asleep for a second right then.

[A]

She's upset. Okay. And I think, grow up. Let the kid go to the birthday party and take that one on one time with your other kid and go do something fun. Go to the Wicked movie, Go to a playground, throw a party. Who cares?

[B]

I think she just doesn't want to explain to her other child that they weren't wanted, which I get.

[A]

Yeah. I guess at 5 they're starting to understand that. Yeah. But it's like, have you put initiative into talking to this person in the classroom? Are you friends with this person or is it a pity invite? Because, well, it's like, are you. Do you talk to, like, have you built a friendship like your sibling has with this person? I guess there's more context that needs to be met.

[B]

Not that this is going to be shocking to everyone, but I wasn't invited a lot of places as a child and it hurt.

[A]

Yeah, but you didn't have like a twin brother that was being invited and you weren't. It's just.

[B]

No, but there was the understanding that I was not as desired as the other children in my immediate vicinity. And that hurts.

[A]

Right?

[B]

And it sets a really gnarly tone for the rest of your life. So I totally get why this mom is like, I'm just not. I'm gonna wait a minute before I let my one kid know that they're not as good as the other kids weekend.

[A]

I don't think. I think it's. I mean, I don't know how much the five year old can comprehend or if the five year old even knows that she's not invited to the party that the other one's invited to. I knew at 5.

[B]

Yeah. And it hurt. It hurt bad. Okay, well, I think about it to this day.

[A]

My solution would be say no for both of them. Just say you have. That's what I'm prior obligation.

[B]

Because the mom is going to call the other mom and say, what's up?

[A]

Or I'd have a conversation with my 5 year old and say, well, are you friends with this person? And if not, well, your sister is really good friends with them, so she's going to that person's birthday party and you're gonna hang out with me and we're gonna go have a blast.

[B]

Agree to disagree.

[A]

What are we disagreeing on?

[B]

I would, I wouldn't call the mom and ask if it was an error in invitation.

[A]

Obviously it wasn't.

[B]

Obviously it wasn't. I would just. I would keep both kids out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And we would go to something sick as fuck.

[A]

I don't know. I don't have a five year old yet, so I don't know the level of comprehension that they fully half.

[B]

Oh, I just remember at a really young age knowing that I wasn't included in everything and feeling really bad about it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And like, to the like, maybe I was a different kind of five year old, but like, I recognized that there were girls that were getting ready to go to Daisy troop and like then brownies and like, I wasn't in the troop. So.

[A]

Okay, I take it back. I'm with the mom that I hate.

[B]

No, you don't have to take it back.

[A]

Well, no, I get it is. It is sad. I would just keep them both home.

[B]

I mean, we're gonna go to something sick. Like, you can have fun at your dumbass party, but we're gonna go do something.

[A]

But then it like breaks my heart that the sister from the party comes back and she's like, yeah, there was a circus clown making balloon animals and we had really delicious cake and it's like.

[B]

And I don't want to dim the other one's shine. I just wouldn't let either know about the party.

[A]

I guess I really have to think about this because this will be my future.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking when I put it on the document, because I'm only inviting one kid to my party, and it's going to be pointed. It's going to be like Santa's list. If you're not good, you're not going to Billy's birthday party.

[A]

Let's just save some of these for the car. But we'll do them.

[B]

I'm joking about that, by the way. I'm not gonna torture your children like that.

[A]

Oh, I wasn't listening, really.

[B]

Oh, the Internet would have said something nasty. So I'm just saying that for. For optics.

[A]

Oh, gosh, I'm so passionate about all of these, but we're just out of time.

[B]

Okay, see you in cybertruck. Well, that's not just a set piece.

[A]

I will say. I will say Elizabeth here wrote on the document, to be honest, I might like Ariana Grande and Chaparral Roan now. And I was like, I can't with the Internet. And you are the problem. All these people have dragged Ariana for years. They've been mean to her. They've been dragging her name through the mud.

[B]

I don't. I still don't want to hang out with her, but I appreciate some of her nuance.

[A]

And then she's the star of a very popular movie that she's allegedly performs really great in, and suddenly the entire Internet that's been talking about her for years is obsessed with her again. And I'm like, you guys are fucking losers, dude.

[B]

I haven't seen the movie. This is literally just because of one interview where she picked up her co star's fingernail and tapped it. I just thought that was a funny little character.

[A]

I'm just saying now that, like, I love this for Ariana Grande. I love that she is, like, she is Hollywood right now. I mean, this girl can act. I mean, she just did snl. She's the star of the number one movie at the box office. She's a famous pop star. Like, she is all of it. And she's good at all of it. And she has been. But people for years have just been, like, talking so much about her. And that's just what bothers me about the Internet. Like, they want to hype somebody up to hate them, to hype them up again. So I hope she's at a place where she knows, like, all of it is just not real. Like, you Know the good and the bad. It just drives me. The Internet. You drive me crazy. I love you so much. But you drive me crazy.

[B]

Love you so much. This microphone's getting really heavy.

[A]

Okay. This has got to be hard on you. Okay, bye. That's how we're ending it.

[B]

Yeah. Take that radio show.

[A]

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[B]

My life to get through the roost right now.

[A]

This is crazy. Nobody told me there's fall. We have four seasons.

[B]

Ryland sun scraped off my face mask and now you guys know what's underneath the acrylic paint. Okay, it's rosacea and acne. You all think I'm glowing. I'm not glowing.

[A]

Oh, the fall is gorgeous, right? I don't think they do.

[B]

Are we rolling?

[A]

We're rolling here.

[B]

We're rolling here. We've got a bunch of pies on the center console.

[A]

Unseat belted scene two, take one, Common mark. Ah, yeah. We're just going to drive around for three hours.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Everyone's favorite activity.

[B]

Don't let the people on the radio know we do this. They could never understand. It's a podcast. Why do they need lighting?

[A]

What if I back in here?

[B]

Oh, my God. It's just the cookie. Everyone calm down.

[A]

I think.

[B]

Wow, the cookie's warm.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Is this one not supposed to be served chilled?

[A]

Can we. No, I don't think so.

[B]

It looks like it's showing.

[A]

Can you just break that one in half? And let's start there.

[B]

So we're doing crumble, you guys. Kachonka.

[A]

We're doing. Oh, whatever. Yeah, yeah. So this week for Thanksgiving, they're doing pies. They're the leftovers, I think are from last week. And they're like, well, we have the dough, so we're just gonna do it. I love a celebration cookie more than life itself.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I think this is gonna be delish. I'm so tired and so hungry. And this is so nice right now. This does not disappoint.

[B]

No, it does not.

[A]

It almost tastes like a celebration birthday cake. It's so, like, nicely soft.

[B]

It's good. Are you gonna disassociate new?

[A]

It gets better as you go on.

[B]

You just stared off like your soul left your body.

[A]

This is the type of cookie where I would eat the whole thing and have no shame about it, cuz it's so good.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I am going to stop.

[B]

Are you?

[A]

I am.

[B]

You look like you're lying to everyone.

[A]

Can you give me back my turkey plate?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We had Thanksgiving with Shane's family this past weekend. And Sandy's so cute. She always brings, like, themed food and she brought us, like, she brought this with her dish that she brought. She brought a veggie platter. That was a turkey. A turkey. It was so cute. Shout out, girl. I'm so excited. Okay. I've actually been looking forward to this for a while.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. So have I. Really? Yeah. I saw it on Instagram last night. I thought about sending it to Rylan and being like, let's go here. But then I remembered I have no influence over him.

[A]

What? You literally do. You don't think you have any power?

[B]

You wouldn't even let me sit on the side of the couch. That makes me pretty.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

You said get on the ugly side.

[A]

Which one do you guys want to try first? Maybe we should do it in the order that they're listed on the website. French silk pie. So I believe that's this baddie. What I'm loving about The French silk.

[B]

It's not matching the picture. And that is. No, it's that one.

[A]

That's cookie and cream. You're right. You're right. I like that it has the shaved chocolate on top.

[B]

But look at the picture and look at the pie. Well, that's the pie without the Timu version.

[A]

No, I don't think so. I think that's without the.

[B]

No, but the top is flat here, right? Am I wrong?

[A]

Okay, whatever.

[B]

It looks lumpy.

[A]

We'll take ours from this side.

[B]

I'm scared of it.

[A]

You're scared of it?

[B]

Why is it lumpy?

[A]

I guess I want some of the crust, though. So I gotta go all the way down deep.

[B]

I just don't want it to be lumpy.

[A]

Wow. The crust is like a chocolate. She went all the way through.

[B]

I was like, this crust is so firm.

[A]

That postpartum.

[B]

That postpartum rage is really hitting today.

[A]

It's so hard for me not to just throw this in my mouth.

[B]

It's not hard for me. I'm really icked out by it.

[A]

This. You were excited for this?

[B]

Not this one. I only saw the pumpkin on the Internet.

[A]

Me too. The pumpkin's the one I'm most excited for. The bottom is hard to get, though. Mmm. It's a chocolate pudding there. I got it.

[B]

That's a silk cake for you.

[A]

Is that a silk cake?

[B]

A silk pie?

[A]

I guess. I guess I don't know that I've had a silk piece pie.

[B]

So are we going to lick the out of these forks and then share another pie?

[A]

Well, I was thinking you and I just stick to one half copy, so.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Lick. Oh, my God. How could you not love. Do you not like chocolate pudding?

[B]

I do.

[A]

Fantastic. I'm so happy. It's not like a traditional. Well, is it a traditional Thanksgiving Day pie?

[B]

No, I don't think so. But it's a traditional piece.

[A]

I don't know that I've ever had a French silk.

[B]

A French silk. I used to have it a lot when I was little.

[A]

Did you do a knife so we don't stab through the bottom again?

[B]

Nah.

[A]

I feel like it'd be easier to get the crust. I had a hard time getting the crust.

[B]

You want a knife, Chris?

[A]

Maybe.

[B]

Here you go. Thank you.

[A]

Wait. Oh, they didn't have apple pie? What a nightmare. Cuz I love apple pie. You could just put half on your plate, Chris.

[B]

Oh, just for the record, it's not that Rylan and I don't want to share with Chris. It's that Chris doesn't want to share with us, period.

[A]

I actually shared about this on a mean comment saying you guys are being nice and respecting my crazy germaphobia. Um, no. They ran out of apple pie, which is a bummer because, oh, my gosh. It looks like they have the little crumblies on top that I love so much. Okay. Really hard to get out, but how thick is this crust? It looks like it's more crust than it is. Pie are meant to be shared.

[B]

They should be their biggest piece for a single person.

[A]

Yeah, it came out pretty easy with.

[B]

The folk the shade.

[A]

I do want more filling, though, because I feel like I got no filling. All crust.

[B]

Yum. Wow, that's a tiny pumpkin pie.

[A]

That's actually a very good pumpkin pie. I really like it. Delicious.

[B]

It does. In fact. I'm going to have another bite.

[A]

I wouldn't expect crumbl to do us wrong in a pie department, quite honestly. It is funny that that this week's crumbl cookies is all pies, but people get so upset about, like, whatever crumble's doing. And I'm like, they're doing an evolving changing menu. What do you expect? And they're trying fun things. If you don't like the menu this week, go next week or just don't go at all. I just think it's so funny how people get so mad about it or they're like, they're not even good cookies. It's like the don't need them. No. They're making a billion dollars a year. They're doing something right. Yeah, I agree. Okay. Cookies and cream pie. I love cookies and cream. I don't know that I've seen it in pie form, though. Have you?

[B]

I'm sure it's normal.

[A]

I don't know if we're rating these, but to me, the pumpkin's like nine or 10 out of 10. That's better than most pumpkin pies I've consumed.

[B]

It's very sweet, though.

[A]

I would just stick your fork in and fork it out onto a plate. And honestly, we saved the two. I'm least excited for last. I'm not a huge key lime person.

[B]

I don't with pecan.

[A]

And I'm not a pecan pie either. Speaking of the peace. But I got it. Okay, let's see. Oh, no. It lost me. It said something lost. Oh, there we are. Are we back? We're back. Sorry. So this was cookies and cream.

[B]

Hate you.

[A]

Wow. Oh, my God. Oh, that one is good. This is my favorite so far.

[B]

My least favorite.

[A]

I love It. I love cookies and cream. Everything though. Like my ideal cake for my birthday party that I never have is a Dairy Queen cookies and cream ice cream cake. I love an ice cream cake.

[B]

Okay. It's good.

[A]

This is like decoration. Decadent. Like I would savor every bite. I like this better than the confetti cookie that we started at.

[B]

I like them. I wish all of them were a little bit less sugary because it burns.

[A]

There's a lot of sugar.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That might be my favorite too actually. It's so good. That's why crumble is such a drug though. That's. It's just like filled.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, sugar like that's literally burning my esophagus on the way down. You just made such a crazy noise with your mouth.

[A]

Did. I'm sorry. I. I disappeared. I want to try some of this crumble on top.

[B]

Crumble.

[A]

Wow. That one's so good. The texture.

[B]

Does it not burn you? Oh my God. It burns my throat and all the way down.

[A]

I feel like I'll probably die later. You know what it tastes like a milk or an Oreo that's already been dunked in milk for the perfect amount of time. Whoa.

[B]

That was the way you just looked at me like it was a revelation for humanity is so nuts.

[A]

I think it was. Honestly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think if you guys are going to take anything from me, let it be that that's what you're going to taste when you come get this. And I think you should run to this. Especially if you want your throat to burn.

[B]

And definitely run instead of driving cuz you're going to need a little workout after.

[A]

Okay. Key lime pie. I'm not a very big key lime pie person but I'm going in with an open mind. I love.

[B]

What about you?

[A]

My dad's all time favorite pie is a key lime pie.

[B]

I love key lime pie. I went to the Florida Keys and had a key lime pie popsicle and it was really good.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She. These would be Shane's favorite key lime and pecan. Oh yeah. Oh, I'm excited.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The crust does look good. I will give them that.

[B]

Go for it, daddy. You're getting the smallest bite possible.

[A]

Well, I don't think it's that small when you look at it.

[B]

Right, right, right. I was going to get that bite that you just destroyed by taking the creator off.

[A]

Oh, take that sides.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh. When I smell it, I hate it. It smells like. Oh my breast milk in my baby's.

[A]

Mouth smell like Philadelphia cream cheese.

[B]

I mean There is cream cheese in it, probably.

[A]

This is a hard thing to go to from a chocolate taste. We should have started here. Probably.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

I'm in this.

[B]

That's way too sweet. These people are having too much fun looking at your cybertruck.

[A]

Hey, girls.

[B]

That little boy looks so sweet. I like it. It's too sweet.

[A]

See, I love a little bitter. A little tart with my sweet. That has a little sour, little bitterness to it. Yeah, I love that.

[B]

Gets the jowls shaken.

[A]

Oh, yes. I would definitely take a bite, but I would never order it again. Like, if Shane got it, I'd take, like, one fork full and that's enough for me. Me, I'm good.

[B]

All of these are that.

[A]

No, the cookies and cream one. I would, like, go barrel. I would take to my couch and then feel bad about myself.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

It's that good? So good. I'm gonna take one more bite. Oh, you're allowed to enjoy good things without feeling bad about it.

[B]

Well, the thing that makes you feel bad is that you physically feel bad after it. Oh, I don't.

[A]

I don't have.

[B]

I don't get sick after this. You're the one who's always complaining about being sick.

[A]

Not really. These.

[B]

Really.

[A]

This doesn't. Well, maybe. Maybe I'm missing cuz, you know. Oh, no. It does have the gooeyness of a pecan pie underneath the layers of pecan. Wow. I went for it. I'm sorry. I'm gonna, too. I made such.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

I mean, I can recognize that it's good.

[B]

I'm not for you.

[A]

I'm not a pecan person. I never will be. It's never gonna be. I'm never gonna be that girl. I don't think I'm a pecan person either. I don't hate it, but it's not. I'm not as. As hateful of it, but it's not my favorite.

[B]

I hate it.

[A]

I would still eat it. The whole thing. I think this is fun for. For Thanksgiving.

[B]

Like, I think it's really fun.

[A]

I think if you're not going to a big Thanksgiving or it's just you and your boyfriend or you and your partner or you're like a solo family. It would be fun to get all of these and just. You could have one of everything.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I went to the store to get pies for our, like, Shane's family's Thanksgiving, and I wanted a variety so everyone would get to enjoy something, like their favorite kind. And I left with four pies because I couldn't pick between. And I was like, we're never gonna consume four pies.

[B]

What four pies did you get?

[A]

I got an apple.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[A]

I got a pumpkin girl. I got. I was bold and got it. Well, okay. Did I only get three?

[B]

What was it?

[A]

Apple, Pumpkin.

[B]

Spit it out.

[A]

What was the other one?

[B]

You were bold. What was so bold about it?

[A]

Well, what was it? No.

[B]

What are you doing? Weird secret to keep. We talk about your balls and you can't tell us about the bold pie you got for your family Thanksgiving.

[A]

That's where he draws the line. Why can't I remember the third pumpkin apple? And.

[B]

And was it berry?

[A]

Oh, it was a pecan. No, what was bold is I wanted the cherry really bad, but it was $35 and I couldn't justify it.

[B]

Oh, I just spent $300 having a tree trimmer come get my drone. Couldn't get a $35 cherry pie.

[A]

No, but what I'm saying, I think this was 37 for everything. And you can have a bite of everything.

[B]

I agree. It's very fun.

[A]

It's very fun.

[B]

It's very fun. You got us a sweet crumble.

[A]

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

[B]

Happy Thanksgiving.

[A]

Lizzy doesn't participate.

[B]

I could be like, I participate.

[A]

I said, going to do. And you're like, I'm not celebrating.

[B]

I was joking. I'm not doing anything. That doesn't mean I don't know who's making the food.

[A]

What are you. What's your plan?

[B]

I don't think we're doing a Thanksgiving dinner.

[A]

Yeah, see, it's overrated.

[B]

Yeah, it really is. And I hate turkey. I mean, I'm going to say something here at the risk of being caught by the person who did it, because I really appreciate any kind of nice gesture. Kind of. Someone sent us a full ass smoked turkey in the mail.

[A]

That's nice.

[B]

Is it.

[A]

Is it already cooked? Yeah, but it's like, so like one of the. What is that place?

[B]

It was like, leaking.

[A]

Oh, well.

[B]

And it was not in dry ice. Like, it was just a smoked turkey in a bag leaking. And it's like, thank you. But also bold to send a person an entire smoked turkey who you haven't talked to in, like 30 years.

[A]

So you know who it's from?

[B]

Yeah, it's one of my dad's best friends who I love and I talk about affectionately all the time, and I miss him all the time. Time. And then Joe goes, someone sent us a full ass smoked turkey. And I was like, that's weird. Who's it from? And then he said, who's it from? And I was like, is that our neighbors? Like, I don't know who that's from. And then it took me like five minutes and I was like, oh, of course I know who that's from. What the. Like, I haven't talked to this person since I was probably 15.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Smoked turkey.

[A]

What a nice thought. He probably thought you have a baby and you don't really the turkey this.

[B]

Year, but then send somebody an Uber gift card, not a full ass smoked turkey.

[A]

Okay. Thank you guys so much for watching and supporting our show. Happy Thanksgiving. We're definitely thankful for all of you and we'll see you next week. We love you very much. What? Did you have something to say? Oh, I was getting ready and that's the sip. Oh, wait, how am I going to do this?

[B]

We didn't talk about any of the Hot Topics.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah, saw that coming.