Tasting an EXPENSIVE CELEBRITY Restaurant!!! Lizze’s BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon

Episode Title: Tasting an EXPENSIVE CELEBRITY Restaurant!!! Lizze’s BIRTHDAY PARTY!
Date: April 29, 2026
Hosts: Ryland Adams & Lizze Gordon
Description: A lively, uncensored episode covering friendship dynamics, parenting struggles, reality TV drama, and a luxury dining experience at a celebrity steakhouse for Lizze’s birthday.

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Episode Overview

This episode blends the signature unfiltered banter of Ryland and Lizze with a birthday celebration. The hosts dive deep into candid discussions about their personal lives, friendship ups and downs, motherhood, pop culture hot topics—including reality TV scandals and celebrity restaurants—culminating in a detailed, hilarious review of their visit to an exclusive steakhouse (STK) for Lizze’s birthday.

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Main Topics & Key Discussions

1. Friendship & Family Dynamics

• Parental Overwhelm & Marriage Real Talk (02:22–06:56):

  • Lizze opens up about the struggle of balancing her love for her husband, Joe, while feeling overwhelmed by parenting two young kids:
    • “I'm afraid to be alone with my children.” —Lizze (03:55)
    • Debate about adding a third child amid marital chaos.
    • Frustration over household labor division: “The delegation is a third job.” (05:24)
    • The challenge of asking for help vs. partners taking initiative.

• Group Playdates & Complex Loyalties (03:55–04:40):

  • Ryland and Lizze are spending more time together as families, leading to complicated feelings about whose “side” to take in household disputes.
  • Ryland admits to bonding with Joe: “But where this gets complicated, it's like, well, whose side am I on if I like Joe too?” (04:20)

• Kids’ Attachment to Ryland (07:56–08:38):

  • Lizze’s son, Billy, idolizes Ryland in a comical way, leading to adorable anecdotes:
    • “He left us at the commons and...Billy was like, Ray Ry Ry Ry, screaming your name.” (08:17)

• Lizze’s Social Struggles with Husbands (19:43–20:18):

  • Lizze shares her discomfort interacting with her friends’ husbands, which leads to social mishaps and being “ghosted” by other parents.

2. Beauty, Self-Image & Aging

• Makeup Woes & Identity (01:47–04:02):

  • Lizze tries out Morgan/Megan Adams’ makeup tutorial and reflects on feeling younger but not really being noticed by men.
  • “I'm literally Meghan...But I know I'm not.” (02:11)

• Birthday Blues & Milestones (07:05–07:38, 28:32–29:08):

  • Lizze turns 36, shares her mixed feelings about age and her birthday, jokes about sending her son to preschool so she can have free time.

3. “Mom Life” & Postpartum Realness

• Weaponizing Nursing & Seeking Solitude (13:52–14:49):
  • Lizze humorously discusses hiding from her chaotic household by nursing:
    • “I've also started weaponizing nursing.”
    • Uses time with her youngest as an excuse for alone time.

4. LA Parenting & Stereotypes

• Malibu Moms & Dad Vibes (15:17–18:29):

  • Ryland and Lizze critique the "quiet luxury" culture of Malibu and its effortlessly chic parents.
  • “I can't do a bitch in linen.” —Lizze (17:32)

• Valley Defense (18:32–18:46):

  • Lizze proudly embraces being from the Valley: “It's my kind of suck. Like, I can park my car.” (18:43)

5. Reality TV Hot Takes & Pop Culture

• Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Controversy (29:35–34:57):

  • Discussion about the show’s alleged cancellation, spin-off drama, Aspen Ovard’s storyline, and the ethics of platforming controversial cast members:
    • “If we're taking away her platform, we should also take away every form of everybody else on reality television who's made a name for themselves doing...similar horrible things.” —Ryland (34:41)
  • Candid, empathetic takes on postpartum struggles and the pressures young women face on reality TV.

• Euphoria Critique & Zendaya Drama (52:28–54:50):

  • Both hosts voice disinterest in returning to HBO’s Euphoria, criticizing its treatment of women and sharing rumors about Zendaya’s contractual disengagement.

6. Self-Reflection & Sobriety

• Sobriety, Emotional Work & Parenting Fears (37:53–41:07):
  • Lizze draws parallels between her emotional sobriety and the reality TV struggles discussed, emphasizing the work of “emotional sobriety” in addition to abstaining from substances:
    • “If I don't wake up every day and start with a prayer and a meditation...I'm more likely to get closer to a drink.” (38:42)

7. Celebrity Encounters & Stagecoach Stories

• Tom Hanks Anecdote (44:03–50:34):

  • Lizze humorously recounts (with some embellishment) a childhood story of meeting Tom Hanks at an awards ceremony, including her obsession with Haley Joel Osment and Forrest Gump.

• Stagecoach Disarray (51:33–52:10):

  • The hosts react to the “emergency evacuation” at Stagecoach, with a tangent into Chet Hanks’ performance and musings about the luxury festival experience for celebrities.

8. Steakhouse Birthday Experience

• Visiting STK (The Expensive Celebrity Restaurant) (70:31–96:43):
  • The highlight of the episode is an immersive, on-location segment at STK, an upscale celebrity steakhouse, for Lizze’s birthday.
    • Atmosphere & Service:
      • The hosts are impressed by the luxurious service; joke that staff must think they’re VIPs or “first responders” because of the special treatment (95:59–96:09).
    • Food Review:
      • Bread Service: “They have a blue cheese butter on top of the bread. That’s bold to like serve to everyone.” (78:49)
      • Steaks & Sides:
        • Ryland: “I would say mine’s more medium...But very, very soft. I would have liked a little more pink.” (83:14)
        • Lizze: “I'm a big fan of a creamy horseradish on a sticker.” (88:58)
      • Dessert: Over-the-top lava cake and cheesecake impress them, described as “the best version that exists of this.” (95:24–96:09)
    • Memorable Moments:
      • “This is a sauce girly’s dream. Lizzy is the definition of a sauce girl.” (85:56–86:04)
      • “They think we're like teachers or someone good.” —Lizze (93:38)
    • Humor:
      • Frequent riffing about being “beaten” by Ryland, clickbait titles, and the ridiculousness of their own lives.

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Notable Quotes & Standout Moments

• On Domestic Labor & Partnership

  • “The husband's willing to do what you ask them to do, but they don't comprehend that having to ask in and of itself is enraging.” —Lizze (06:24)

• On Reality TV & Moral Panic

  • “If we're taking away her platform, we should also take away every form of everybody else on reality television who's made a name for themselves doing...similar horrible things.” —Ryland (34:41)

• On Parenting Young

  • “We were still lost children...I'm so glad I had kids once I had a better understanding of who I am.” —Ryland (37:17)

• On Wellness & Sobriety

  • “It's less work to be happy than it is to be miserable...happiness is hard.” —Lizze (66:33)

• Restaurant Memorable Moment

  • “Service from start to beginning, since the moment we hit the host stand, has been out of control, luxurious.” —Ryland (95:17)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:22–06:56: Marriage, parenting, division of labor
• 13:52–14:49: “Weaponizing” breastfeeding for alone time
• 19:43–20:18: Friendship mishaps, husbands, and social awkwardness
• 29:35–34:57: Secret Lives of Mormon Wives spinoff debate
• 37:53–41:07: Sobriety and emotional work
• 44:03–50:34: Tom Hanks childhood encounter
• 51:33–52:10: Stagecoach windstorm & celebrity festival experience
• 70:31–96:43: On-location steakhouse (STK) birthday lunch: atmosphere, food, humor
• 95:59–96:09: Wrapping up the birthday meal: dessert & service

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Tone & Style

Unfiltered, playful, and deeply candid—with plenty of inside jokes, honest admissions about relationships and parenthood, celebrity gossip, and food obsession. The hosts’ chemistry combines warm vulnerability with sharp wit and relentless self-deprecation.

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For New Listeners

This episode is quintessential “The Sip” fare: frank, funny, and inviting (if sometimes a little wild). Whether discussing their own messy lives, dissecting reality TV, or reviewing luxurious restaurants, Ryland and Lizze invite you into the real—and really entertaining—chaos of millennial adulthood in LA.

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Closing

The episode wraps with a lively Q&A from Patreon (“Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”), self-improvement reflections, and the ongoing promise that their friendship and podcast will endure—accompanied by dreams of best-selling books, thriving families, and many more cakes and steaks to come.

Transcript

[A]

Do you know that I'm, like, close, personal friends with Tom Hanks? Have I told that story here?

[B]

My feelings about Joe are just so complicated.

[A]

Well, I'm afraid to be alone with my children.

[B]

Four out of your five best friends husbands hate you.

[A]

What is that? I'm switching podcasts. I'm going to go join Benny Blanco's podcast.

[B]

Are you continuing to watch?

[A]

I have not seen a single episode. I just know that that's where I belong.

[B]

So you chose him instead of Hear Me Out?

[A]

Oh, no. I loved Hear Me Out.

[B]

After our fantastic collaboration, I actually had

[A]

the best time on the Sit Me Out. And I don't like saying that you

[B]

were performing at your ultimate peak on their version of the podcast. I like. You were wild. Wild to a point where, like, my mom, Spencer, and Shane were like, we thought we were going to get kicked out.

[A]

You guys needed. You guys are such wet blankets.

[B]

We were screaming. Is that, like, a term that you're

[A]

allowed to say, a wet blanket?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Okay. I don't. I don't know.

[A]

What does wet blanket mean? Actually, now I don't know.

[B]

Now you're scaring me. 20 seconds into our podcast, you're making

[A]

fun of people for being bed pissers, right? We. I can still make fun of a bed pisser, right? Okay, that's still fine. Right?

[B]

Where do we go?

[A]

I'm going to.

[B]

Where do we go from here? First of all, I guess it is our. What is it, Chris? It's a person who spoils other people's fun or dampens enthusiasm, usually through dullness, pessimism, or by refusing to participate in enjoyable activities.

[A]

Wet blanket.

[B]

A killjoy.

[A]

A killjoy.

[B]

Wow, that plumping gloss is, like, distracting.

[A]

I feel like I can't talk.

[B]

I feel like I'm looking at an AI rendering of your lips.

[A]

No, I literally feel like I can't talk. I. I don't know if you guys noticed, but it's me, Lizzie Gordon. It's not Megan Adams, but I did do a Megan Adams makeup tutorial this week.

[B]

Like, saying, oh, yeah, I'm wearing Morgan's makeup look, but she keeps going, Morgan, Megan, today.

[A]

I don't know what that is, but I can't stop doing it. But I will say, do I not look great?

[B]

You do it great.

[A]

I'm literally Meghan.

[B]

I mean, outside of your. I can tell, like, you have a winged eyeliner and glossy lips. Outside of that, I don't see a difference. But I'm a man.

[A]

They're like microaggressive. Difference. I literally can't talk with the bee falling on my lips. Like, it hurts bad, bad. But I feel like that you want

[B]

to be a cool girl, but it's just too much.

[A]

Cool girls are suffering out in these streets.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah, I'm just saying it hurts.

[B]

Oh, like being. Yeah. Beauty is pain.

[A]

They're putting beet pollen on their lips, bro.

[B]

As we're starting this podcast, Lizzy's scrolling Instagram. It was taking us a second to get set up. There's a constant humming, and we can never figure it out. And she goes, why am I following this person? Who is this person? But she just had a baby girl. Oh, I need a third.

[A]

I do.

[B]

If you don't stop this, because I'm getting really complicated feelings about all of this, because I do feel your household is overwhelmed because you have two young children.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I do feel it's circumstantial because I know you love your husband so much, but life is challenging in your current stat step state.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

And so when you threaten a third child, I do start to fear, like, oh, this will be, like, the explosion of a marriage that shouldn't be exploded.

[A]

Well, we're gonna wait a little while. And I'm reasonable. I love him. I'm texting. Even when I'm texting you my rage, I'm like, listen, I love him.

[B]

Well, it's getting cut. Okay? And this is, like, where it's getting complicated.

[A]

Whose side are you on?

[B]

We've been hanging out as families a lot.

[A]

Well, I'm afraid to be alone with my children.

[B]

That's the only reason he's there.

[A]

But I definitely want a third.

[B]

That's the only reason Joe's around. No, I invite him.

[A]

No, I like having him around. Oh, I love having him around. I almost wanted him to come and nap on the couch like my dad.

[B]

We've been having a lot. A lot of baby play dates. And so, like, I've been getting really close to Joe. But where this gets complicated, it's like, well, whose side am I on if I like Joe too?

[A]

You're on my side.

[B]

And then you start, like, complaining about Joe.

[A]

You're on my side.

[B]

And like, when we were living in a previous world where, like, I thought Joe hated me because the way he relays my bad hugs in public to him, to you, you know, it's, like, easier to be like, yeah, let's kill him. Yeah, let's kill that monster.

[A]

No, he's a good man.

[B]

Now that I like, like him. When you're like, we. He must die. I'm like, but, Joe, no, no, no.

[A]

I don't think he has to die, but he should do the laundry or,

[B]

like, clean the kitchen.

[A]

Or, like, clean the kitchen. Yeah, like, he should do the laundry and clean the kitchen. Last night, after I was done messaging you and journaling about it, and by journaling, I mean writing in a book that I'm gonna publish, I started doing the laundry. And I was irritated. He's like, well, just tell me if you want me to do something. I was like, well, look at me, Joe. Like, I've already told you five times, I've had enough today. And I'm still sitting on the floor in the laundry room, and maybe you should do the laundry. He's like, okay, I'll do the laundry. And I was like, can you divide the lights and the darks? And he said, yeah. Do you consider gray a dark? And I was like, this is what I'm talking about. The delegation is a third job.

[B]

It is hard.

[A]

I said, why don't you use, to the best of your ability, guess what's light and what's dark?

[B]

Was it a heather gray or a dark gray?

[A]

A heather.

[B]

Oh, so it's a light.

[A]

Yeah, it's a light. See, you can be on my side. Yeah, I'm not irrational, but it's hard.

[B]

It's. It's hard. And I agree with you. Like, last night, Lizzie was just texting me, like, I've had enough. It's enough. And it is. When you have young kids, there's some days where you can do it all. Like, you can clean the house, you can entertain the kids. You can have a great day. You can even start the laundry. You can vacuum, even. And you put the kids down and you're like, oh, like, I could keep going.

[A]

Like, let's go watch. Yeah.

[B]

There's other days where it's like, you could do half of that, and it's still just a struggle to the end. And when the husband isn't doing what they're supposed to do, it's like, you could kick him in the teeth.

[A]

Well, the thing that's so enraging about it is, like, the husband's willing to do what you ask them to do, but they don't comprehend that having to ask in and of itself is enraging.

[B]

Because it's like, so what do you do? Get a chore chart off of Amazon, period.

[A]

I should. I should. But. No but. And then when I suggest things like that, he feels demeaned and gets upset, and we get in fights about that. I'm like, well, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? Because the other thing is, like, I was working through nap time, so I'm record, like, I'm out back filming, and

[B]

we need to nap during nap time.

[A]

We need to know during that. Girl, I. I don't remember the last time I napped during a nap time.

[B]

So you're tired.

[A]

No, I'm unwell.

[B]

And on your week of birth.

[A]

On my birth week.

[B]

Happy birthday, Elizabeth Gordon. I hope you guys all. Well, it was yesterday now.

[A]

Yeah, by the time this airs, I'm already 36. And you guys missed it. You miss it, you losers.

[B]

But honestly, you're seeing her in her prime before. Before she turns 36.

[A]

I'm 35 right now, you guys.

[B]

And that is beautiful. Do I look like Morgan?

[A]

Ryland goes, I just can't. I can't really tell because you have red hair and Morgan has blonde hair. I was like, okay, I think you can tell that I'm Morgan. Okay.

[B]

You really learned that much. That's what I learned about your makeup. Like, you feel like a different woman. What did Joe say as you were leaving the house?

[A]

Joe said that I looked. He's like, you used to do your makeup like that. And it's like, no, I didn't used to do my makeup like this. I just look younger and cooler.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. That's why I've mixed and matched colors and I'm wearing sambas.

[B]

And so now that we're hanging out a lot, what kind of nice things does Joe say about me?

[A]

Nothing nice about you. But you know who can't keep your name out of his mouth? My kid Billy. Right, right, right, right. Like, I get it. I like him. I. But I know him. Like, Billy doesn't know you. Do you know what I mean? Like, what is. Why does Billy. Why can't Billy shut the up about you?

[B]

Because I'm a good time.

[A]

He left us at the commons and. Right, right, right. And Billy was like, ry Ray Ry Ry. Like, looking like, screaming your name, trying to find you. And Joe's like, ryu went home. Ry rai went home. Iki Bobo. Because that's what our home has. Icky and bubs. It's like, no. His own home.

[B]

That is funny.

[A]

And the day before that, my friend Katie sent me this really cute birthday present that was like Buffy themed. And one of it was like a keychain that's Buffy themed. And Billy took it and went to the front door and was like, bye, bye. And we were like, okay, bye. And Joe opened the door and let Billy out, which is a crazy choice. And then shut the door and left Billy alone on the porch. He's like, I just want to see what he does. Like I'm watching. Like I want to see what he does. I'm like, this is crazy. I hate this game. Billy's not scared with like, with his whole chest, is holding out his keys, saying, right, right, right, right. Walks down the front porch stairs, goes out to someone's car and is going to get in the car with his keys and go see Ry Rai. And then Joe picks him up and he's like, we're not going to Ryrie's house. Biggest meltdown he's ever had in his entire life.

[B]

Ever.

[A]

Bro cried for like 20 to 30 minutes. Scream, crying,

[B]

Bring him over.

[A]

I tried. And then you were like, meet me at the commons.

[B]

No, that was the day before.

[A]

Oh, you could.

[B]

Because Max was being a brat that day too. So maybe they just needed a little interaction. It was a really weird weather day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To a point where I was sad too. I'm. I'm normally not a sad pitch, but I looked at Shane and I said, this weather is making me sad.

[A]

Well, that's all Malibu weather is.

[B]

It is making me sad. No, I've been going there the last few days and actually it's been really cloudy over here and beautifully sunny over there.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Can you believe it? Because it's, it's moving.

[A]

Right? But in the, but in the first half of the day. Have you ever been to Malibu in the first half of the day?

[B]

Yeah, I have.

[A]

You have?

[B]

Yeah, I have seen my Malibu shirt. This will notify you.

[A]

Well then can I have the Calabasas shirt?

[B]

This will notify you that I have indeed been to Malib the morning. And the same place I got this, I got your son a shirt, period. And it says, shalom, ladies. Has he worn that physical?

[A]

I'm a little scared cuz he's a little shika, you know what I mean? Like, I'm worried about sending my little blonde haired, blue eyed baby to his Jewish school.

[B]

I was like, I was desperately shopping for clothes for my kids and I could only find a shirt for Elizabeth's

[A]

son, which I was like, oh no, I'll pay you back.

[B]

I kept saying, I don't, I don't expect it. It was a gift. It was a gift for my Billy, who loves his Uncle Rye.

[A]

Why he look, why like. But why does he love you so much?

[B]

Well, he's been coming Over a lot. He went in the pool freezing cold,

[A]

by the way, was attacked by your frogs.

[B]

By my frogs. And he gets to free range chicken at my house.

[A]

He does. It is a very safe place to free range chicken. And he. But like, the thing is, I take Billy to a lot of places and he.

[B]

Those places aren't good.

[A]

He. He doesn't necessarily let his freak flag fly until like the. He's very comfortable.

[B]

He is like, like blowing bubbles on my glass, literally running.

[A]

Running in circles, like looking at the cats, going

[B]

like, well, you do his face really well.

[A]

That's cuz it's all I look at. Today before he left for school, I was like, give my other kiss. Give mama a kiss. And he leaned in like he always does to give a kiss, and then just went and licked me with waffle all over. His tongue got waffle all over my face. And then I was like, no, give mama a kiss. And then I went back in and he went and licked me again.

[B]

I already told you. But when I walked into the kitchen this morning, check goes, I love you, daddy. Well, tell them that I love you, daddy.

[A]

Tell them what Max calls you.

[B]

Oh, yes. Somehow Max got a hold of our real names. I blame Vicki, maybe.

[A]

No, honestly, maybe it's when they were

[B]

in town because Max keeps saying, daddy sane daddy wine daddy saying not even Ryland.

[A]

And he says it in a deep, straight voice.

[B]

Daddy Wyatt. Very cute.

[A]

Billy will say, Joe. Joe. Like when Billy doesn't want to have his diaper changed and Joe takes him to change him. He goes, joe. Because I'm always screaming. So Billy. One time I went, ciao. And Billy went, joe. I love these kids. We need a third. You see what I'm saying? Ernie's full grown. That motherfucker's rolling. I know you don't care, but he's really rolling. He can roll while holding something.

[B]

I don't know when she's gonna move on to something else. It has been. You guys can attest to this. It has been three months that she has been saying her four month old is rolling. And we're like, ro.

[A]

Like, rolling, rolling.

[B]

So he's out of a sleep sack.

[A]

He's better.

[B]

What are they?

[A]

Oh, he's been out of a swaddle.

[B]

A swaddle.

[A]

We've had him out of a swaddle since like week four.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because of his tension.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. So what did you see about Malibu Mom Says I'm looking to be a Malibu mom.

[A]

Okay. I was scrolling the Internet as I want to do, trying to get my hemorrhoids back in tip top shape. You know what I mean? And the best way to do that

[B]

is to sit on the toilet flared up.

[A]

Well, the best way to keep them flared is to just sit on a toilet and doom scroll. So I'm out there, you know, doing what I have to do to keep

[B]

hiding from your face. Family. Yes, Joe's not allowed to do that, but Lizzy is.

[A]

No, Joe does that. Joe's like, trying to go to the bathroom everywhere. It's like, get out of here.

[B]

I don't know why all of your preferred method of, like, having isolation is on a toilet. I would rather be anywhere else than scrolling on a toilet. Like, it's not.

[A]

I have also started weaponizing nursing. I'll take Ernie into the bedroom and lay in the bed and let me just suckle on my boobies, even though it's not like a feeding time. And I'm like, we're feed. We're nursing. You can't bother us. We're nursing. So I'm scrolling and writing and I come across this little boy who has very long hair. He's probably 7 or 8 years old, and he is very rock and roll. He's wearing leather bell bottoms and, like a hard rock shirt. And he's got a guitar. And it's clearly like the school talent show. And he's like, I wrote this song. He doesn't have an English accent. I just added that because it seems more rock star about a school that kicked me out. Something. Elementary school. It's called Malibu School Dropout.

[B]

And the seven year old.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the mom's. Who, who's his mom? Kim, probably.

[A]

But he, like, he's doing this whole. He's raging out. He's raging out in actually a really healthy way musically.

[B]

Okay. So they taught him a lot at that.

[A]

They taught him a lot of sports, and they kicked him out.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But it's so cute. And I was like, I don't know if Rylan could handle kids in Malibu.

[B]

Oh, so it's not that you didn't like the kids in Malibu. You just don't know that I'm cool enough to have a Malibu kid. Got it. Because I went to a Malibu park yesterday, and the moms did rub me in a way that feels like their kids are named Ocean and River.

[A]

I'm sure they are.

[B]

You know, I'm sure, like, just so annoying. Like, beautiful. Huddled in a circle while their kids are being a nightmare at the park. Like, they're not blocking, they're not paying Attention.

[A]

Are they all wearing, like, super, like, leggings, but they have thigh gaps galore? And then they're wearing thick white socks and puffer vest jackets. I'm getting a call.

[B]

Who is it?

[A]

Buckstown, Maryland.

[B]

Bring this to the podcast.

[A]

Hello? Yeah. Oh, you know what? It's a bad time. Thank you. Okay, so Joe and I want to get life insurance, but Joe is on some weird tip where he thinks we need, like, $2 million in life insurance. I'm like, he's going to kill me. Like, he's gonna kill me. That's why he wants to get the two million dollar life insurance rate.

[B]

You think he could handle both kids alone?

[A]

Nobody would have $2 million. Do you know what I mean? Like, he's trying to kill me. Right?

[B]

So he's looking into this on you?

[A]

No, Joe literally signed us up to get life insurance. And, like, he's gonna kill me. Right.

[B]

Are you that miserable?

[A]

Right. Should I kill him? Because he would also have health insurance or life insurance.

[B]

How much do you get?

[A]

Well, I think I get $2 million if he dies.

[B]

Oh. It goes both ways.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But we're not gonna do it because it's killing each other.

[B]

Get the insurance.

[A]

Well, getting this insurance because it's 400amonth.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So if we did get it, we'd have to only have it for, like, a month before we murder each other.

[B]

So it really have to be, like, planned out.

[A]

Well, yeah. And now I can't murder him because I've said it on national television.

[B]

Okay, so then just don't do it.

[A]

Maybe just cut this part out so that I can still kill my husband.

[B]

Yes, I know. These Malibu moms were kind of annoying.

[A]

Do they have puffer vests?

[B]

It was way more chic than that. It was, like, quiet luxury, like, where, you know, it's thousands of dollars of clothing.

[A]

Were they wearing jeans?

[B]

No. They were like Lennon and Flowy.

[A]

Ew.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I can't. I can't. I built up a resentment against an AA meeting where there were moms wearing too much linen. Can't do it. That's a. That's a. That's a different bitch. I can do, like, a Mom and Barrel jeans that, you know, cost $700. Mm. But I can't do a bitch in linen.

[B]

Oh. And the dads were, like, effortlessly cool. Like, so much salt in their hair to a point where, like, I couldn't even achieve that with product. They were like. You could tell they were born and bred in Malibu. They've never left a day in their life.

[A]

See, there are some people from Malibu where I'm like, that's a cool person. Like, they're edgy. Like, they obviously grew up with struggles because their parents were drug addict and alcoholics, and then they were drug addicts and alcoholics. But then they got clean and sober to start a next generation. Or then there's also the Sean Pens of the Malibu, which will just smoke a cigarette anywhere they want whenever they want. And I respect that too.

[B]

So you like it?

[A]

No, I like those vibes. You know what I mean?

[B]

What's the vibe in Malibu?

[A]

You don't like what you just described?

[B]

Oh, right, yeah, got it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So what area of Los Angeles are you okay with?

[A]

The Valley.

[B]

And there's no stereotype of the Valley that makes you.

[A]

No, people think the Valley sucks, but I'm into it. It's my kind of suck.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, I can park my car. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

No, I get it, I get it, I get it.

[A]

And I can't leave because I have a community of people. But now I don't even know if I trust my community of people.

[B]

What's going on?

[A]

Well, you know, I like to go to people's houses and make dinner in their kitchens.

[B]

Oh, no, you're doing that everywhere you go.

[A]

I'm trying, but no one will let

[B]

me come over because they experience the first time and realize it's a tornado has hit.

[A]

Yes. No. Like, remember when I was alone with my kids and I was scared so I went to my friend's house and then Billy proceeded to shove their child into a slide and they got a bloody lip and then Ernie threw up on everything. And they were like, come over whenever.

[B]

And I was like, that is something about Ernie is he's always wet.

[A]

He is.

[B]

He's always wet.

[A]

He do be spitting. Yeah, but he's happy. He's happy. He's happy. So that mom went out of town for work, and so I texted the dad and I was like, hey, I know you're a single parent this weekend. Do you want me and my family to come over and bring you dinner?

[B]

He's like, I couldn't think of anything more stressful.

[A]

Literally never replied. I can never look these people in the eyes again.

[B]

You have a real problem with husbands.

[A]

I do. I don't like talking to them at all. I never. And I wanted Joe to reach out to the husband, but he was like, no, you can do it. And I was like, I don't think I should.

[B]

See, this is the problem with being Social. And then you, like, add your family onto it. Then it's like there's too many realms of possibilities that it could get weird, like between the dads, between the moms, between the kids. Like, there's so many possibilities for things to get awkward so fast. And you move quickly, and I'm already

[A]

nervous around dads or not dads, but husbands.

[B]

You don't get along with them.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

I don't know, but they all hate you. My. No, mine's good with you. But, like, four out of your five best friends husbands hate you.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

I'm so delightful.

[B]

Too loud in their space, probably.

[A]

Oh, how do I get. I can't. I can't be less. My ears now feel like they have bee pollen in them or bee poison.

[B]

Well, yeah, you keep going.

[A]

Oh, that's why they're burning.

[B]

You're like, jet, yesterday we took him out to eat. We got. We got fries, and there was tons of seasoning on this fries. And he was acting like it was so spicy. And I'm like, jet, it's fine. Just, like, take a sip of water or, like, dip that burger in ranch or something, and you're gonna be great. And then he's having a meltdown about it being spicy in his mouth, but then he goes and rubs his eyes with the spice.

[A]

Hurts.

[B]

It hurts. I hurts. I hurts. And I was like, oh, my gosh.

[A]

I think Jet has a problem with me, too. Remember when I picked him up to help him down the stairs?

[B]

Well, no, he wanted to walk down the stairs, and then.

[A]

Well, then he should have thought about that before he ate down the stairs the last time he tried.

[B]

I know. There's something about my kids, and it's that they love a big cement step.

[A]

It's really stressful. We were at the comments, and you

[B]

just look over out of the corner

[A]

of your eye like, one's, like, jumping down a cement step, and the other one's just, like, curb stomping himself down the stairs. Like, they're so well behaved. No, they are.

[B]

No. Yeah. I mean, yeah, we've.

[A]

They're.

[B]

We're definitely entering our terrible twos, where they're trying to question every boundary as they should, and it gets harder and harder and harder to maintain, even though I'm, like, firm in that we need to.

[A]

Yeah, okay. Well, I just keep telling Joe, don't give him any emotional response. And then I leave the room and I hear Joe, oh, God damn it. Better than me now. And I come back, hey, baby, you're giving him too much. That's too much of an emotional response.

[B]

Sometimes it's hard not to laugh. Like when we were at La La Land yesterday and Billy just starts standing on the chair and, like, acting like a maniac. It was hilarious. And you're just, like, trying so hard to, like, not react. And I was like, oh, sorry.

[A]

Well, I'm also like, I have a baby strapped to me that's sleeping, and I can't grab Billy's ass and force him back into the seat. But if I wasn't wearing Ernie, I would have. And it's like Joe is sitting right there. It's like, girl, I'm asking him to sit on his butt. What are you doing,

[B]

husband?

[A]

And then I give Joe a big emotional response, and he's like, whoa. And I'm like, what do you mean, whoa? This didn't come out of nowhere. He's like, well, you're the one who starts fights. I'm like, no, I'm not. You are. And it's your behavior. And if you could just see it, you'd believe it.

[B]

Okay, well, something that will cheer you up is today's sponsor, and that just so happens to be Nutrafol.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. That's crazy. I love Neutrophil. As a postpartum woman, you live in fear of the day that your ponytail is gonna start feeling less full. And it honestly, it comes for all of us. But for those of us that are taking Nutrafol, it comes a little less good. Hair days do more for me than anything else. Like, when I feel good, I am good. And having nice hair is a big part of me feeling good. It is my identity, which is why I'm so grateful to be able to hold on to it in this postpartum them. Nutrafol is the number one recommended dermatologist hair growth supplement, and it's the number one hair supplement brand used by dermatologists. Nutrafol's hair growth supplements are peer reviewed, NSF certified for sport and clinically tested. And it's not a one size fits all approach. Nutrafol offers multiple formulas for men and women tailored to different life stages, like postpartum in my situation and or menopause and lifestyle factors such as is plant based diet. So you get the support that's actually right for you. This whole, like, hair game isn't just a one size fits all ever. And so it is so beneficial to know that I can go out and get a supplement that is specifically tailored for me in this chapter of my life. Right Now.

[B]

Yeah. And as a man who also has receding hair, I will do anything to try to keep it for as long as I can. I've been taking Neutropol and I actually do feel like it has helped bring my edges is forward. Like I have baby hairs, you know,

[A]

I see the growth. Incredible. I see the growth.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And adding Nutrafold to your daily routine is so easy. You order it online, there's no prescription needed, and there's automated deliveries and free shipping, and that just keeps you on track. Oh, it's literally Shopify telling me that my Neutropol was just delivered.

[B]

Are you kidding me?

[A]

No. I love this stuff, period. Okay. Plus, with the Neutropol subscription, which I do have, you can save up to 20% and get added perks to support your hair health journey. Let your hair be one less thing to worry about. See? Visibly thicker, stronger, faster. Growing hair in three to six months with Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you visit NutraFool.com and enter promo code, the SIP. That's NutraFool.com spelled N u t r a s f o l.com promo code, the SIP.

[B]

Thank you, Nutrafol.

[A]

Honestly. Thank you, Nutrafol. Look at this.

[B]

Gorgeous.

[A]

Period.

[B]

Gorgeous.

[A]

No, it truly is.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

You know what? That's. Yeah, of course. This is. Maybe this is a lesson. This is a lesson that needed to be learned a while ago, and I'm shocked it took this long. I literally am shocked it took this long.

[B]

Okay. Keep it to yourself. That was a secret.

[A]

Dang. So we both have secrets about things like that.

[B]

You have a secret right now?

[A]

No. You know it.

[B]

No, I don't.

[A]

I was told I could only tell you, so I told you. I texted it to you, and you had a very lackluster response, which was crazy.

[B]

What?

[A]

I know. I can't bring it here now, though. Or we could play We're Both Telling secrets,

[B]

but you can tell me yours.

[A]

No, I can't.

[B]

You literally can't right now.

[A]

No, I literally can't, which is so annoying.

[B]

Okay, well, the Patreon ask us any questions.

[A]

Oh, I forgot. Let me check. Let me check. Well, that's the thing. Like, I keep trying to tell you. All I'm thinking about is sleeping and milk. Like, sleep training and milk. Like, that's all I think about, which is really crazy. And I think that it's. This is part of being postpartum, because my whole body is Just right now, like, focused on keeping this little being alive. And all that he needs to live is sleep and eat, apparently.

[B]

And you think about that so much so that you're in fear that you're losing your job because of it.

[A]

Truly, because my job is. Is the gift of gab. But, like, unless you guys want to talk about sleep training. This is like when Jelly was having UTIs, and all I wanted to do was talk about her hooded vulva. Catch me at a party being like, oh, I saw your dog over there. You also suffer from a hooded vulva. What kind of bacterial yeast infections and UTIs are your dog getting? Like, who am I?

[B]

Who are you?

[A]

This is why people don't invite me over, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's because of the UTI talk. You can't relate. You don't have a hooded vulva. Why can't you relate to hooded vulvas? Maybe you're the one who should lose this job. Shut up. Until you find a hooded vulva.

[B]

I don't even know what a hooded vulva is.

[A]

Do you want me to make sure I'm hooded vulvas for the next 20 minutes? So dogs have coochie coos. You've seen a dog, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's much cuter than a person.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Oh, of course.

[B]

So you're. Is it gross?

[A]

I would say if I could choose to look at my own. Or a dog. I'm looking at a dog pussy.

[B]

This is not gonna be good.

[A]

Do you want me to stop here or should I keep going?

[B]

You should probably stop. Is there just like. You can't see it sometimes when it's hooded kinda.

[A]

So it's like if this is the

[B]

hand diagram is just too, like, dog

[A]

kind of look like this. Right, Right. And then a hood is just a little bit of extra skin that creates a rim or like a crevice really, between the hood and the dog pussy. And in that area, they can get

[B]

bacterial buildup, which turns into UTI having an uncircumcised penis. You got to pull it back and clean it, period. Okay. He gets it. He gets it. The diagram really did paint the picture

[A]

for me, and that's why I provided it.

[B]

Wow. Thank you very much. Yours.

[A]

So welcome.

[B]

36.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

What will you do to celebrate your.

[A]

Wait. I'm looking down the tail end of my 30s.

[B]

Wow. It's okay.

[A]

I'm so old.

[B]

You have a million dogs and a million babies.

[A]

I got unplugged.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So, yeah. So I'm gonna be 36. Gosh. What have I Gleaned.

[B]

Well, no. Like, what are you gonna do for real? Maybe see the Michael Jackson movie on your physical birthday?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Who's gonna watch your children?

[A]

Oh, my God, I forgot about them. No, I'm gonna send Billy to the Jews and I'll have the nanny come and watch Ernie. What?

[B]

To his Jewish preschool?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Which I love. One of the moms was like, what do you do? And I was like, I. You know, I make content. And I have a podcast. What's it called? I'd love to look it up. And I went, I'd prefer that you didn't. Please do not. I'd be really embarrassed if you did.

[B]

She cuts to me.

[A]

This is a dog pussy. This is a hooded vulva.

[B]

Just like an uncircum penis. If you think about it.

[A]

What do you do for a living? Well, this is a dog.

[B]

Okay. Are there any Hot Topics?

[A]

Okay, so the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives canceled.

[B]

Oh, wait, I thought they were filming and just.

[A]

Taylor Franklin Paul is a spin off. This is a spin off.

[B]

I think that means the original is canceled.

[A]

No, they canceled the original. They said they're not gonna be filming it anymore.

[B]

Ever?

[A]

I think so, yeah.

[B]

I think you're spitting.

[A]

No. Google it. Chris. I'm serious.

[B]

What's the name of the one that's canceled?

[A]

Secret Life of Mormon Wives.

[B]

So imagine my surprise. I've never seen that show. I tried watching the first episode when everyone was like, you just have to like, you'll get past it and it will be great. Never watched it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Second season, everyone's still talking about it and they're like, screw the first season. Just start at the second. Never did it.

[A]

The third one, Fire. I was in the same boat as you. I couldn't handle any of it. I binged the third one in such an unhealthy way that I felt like I needed to call my sponsor.

[B]

Do you know it's gonna me to

[A]

this franchise that whatever I said. What?

[B]

I said, oh, my God, Jelly, we're rewinding. You know what will get me to this franchise? Aspen Ovart. Oh, Aspen Ovard is going to get me to this franchise.

[A]

I'm not trying to spread salacious rumors on the Internet, but I heard Aspen Ovard has a hooded pussy.

[B]

What is wrong with you today?

[A]

I'm just jealous that you go to Pilates with Aspen.

[B]

And so that's Avery, and we've never spoken.

[A]

Who are these people?

[B]

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives has not been canceled by Hulu. It's resuming production for season five. And they're just alleging Taylor, Frankie Paul isn't filming. Which then she. I saw she commented somewhere. That's not what it felt like when the cameras were at my house today.

[A]

Dang, she is.

[B]

So where are you getting your misinformation?

[A]

Obviously nowhere. I think I'm just making it up.

[B]

So just listen to me then.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

Instagram.

[A]

Who are you working out with?

[B]

With Avery Ovart.

[A]

Is there an Aspen?

[B]

There is an Aspen.

[A]

Are they different people?

[B]

Very different.

[A]

But both have hooded and they live

[B]

two and a half hours away from each other. Nobody has a hooded pussy.

[A]

But your old that you know of.

[B]

You have one.

[A]

Well, I'm just saying, how could you

[B]

know if these women do not have to stop projecting that on these.

[A]

I'm not projecting it on them. It's not a problem. But I do think we need to raise awareness for hooded out there.

[B]

Okay. I don't think you need to have these people identify as the face of hooded pussies.

[A]

They shouldn't be ashamed of it. I'm not saying they do or they don't. I'm just saying we don't know.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And honestly, should we rest until we have answers? I don't think so.

[B]

Okay. So imagine my surprise. I'm scrolling Instagram and I see Aspen Ovaart is going to be on the Secret Wives of Mormon Wife's Orange county spin off, period. I am jaw dropped, flabbergasted. I do not know Aspen Ovaard, but I have been following for a long time. She is who I got you involved in.

[A]

She had drama.

[B]

She had her third child with her Mormon husband.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And the day that the their daughter was born is the day that the divorce got announced publicly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so then she left Utah for Orange County. She has, it's since been revealed that she's in a throuple. She is like dating a woman now. Like she's. I don't know if she's come out as lesbian, but she's just like sexuality is fluid for her.

[A]

So she's dating.

[B]

No, she's dating a woman that is in a relationship with.

[A]

With a man, but she's not dating the man also.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know all the details, but it then I was like, oh my God, they've cast her on the show. And then I keep scrolling and I see Avery woods is also on it. And I'm starting to think that I'll see at my pil studio every once in a While.

[A]

Why do you think they haven't asked you to be on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives?

[B]

Exactly. I grew up in Utah.

[A]

You're basically a Mormon wife.

[B]

More Mormon than. And almost all the Mormon women that they have cast on this reboot. No, truly, because when you start looking into it geographically, like, Avery lives in Calabasas and Aspen lives in the Orange County. Neither of the two of them are Mormon, to my knowledge.

[A]

Well, the thing that's also, like, tricky about this now is, like, the secret lives of Mormon wives in Utah. Like, they were all legitimately friends and

[B]

I think in the same community.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like these women. So it's going to be like, oh, I'm just getting lunch with Aspen. But it's like you're driving two and a half hours to just get lunch. Like, you're not in the same community, in the same circles in the. And like, I will be watching. But it is a weird. Why didn't they just make a new reality show? I guess because they want the success of the franchise and for it to be like, you're going to want to watch this because it's just as juicy as this that you loved so much. Yeah, but it's like the. The premise, I guess, who cares about the premise is what the producers think. Yeah, but I mean, they have me interested.

[A]

Oh, I'll be there.

[B]

I'll be there.

[A]

But also, I think, like, they have to release the Taylor Frankie Paul bachelorette season.

[B]

They've got to.

[A]

They have to.

[B]

They have to. You know how many men. I'm not saying what she did is okay, but you know how many men have done the same, if not worse, that are existing and thriving on television today? Yeah, 85 of them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's like, yes, it's horrible. I mean, I'm not saying, like, we should platform her. I'm just saying it's. If we're taking away her platform, we should also take away every form of everybody else on reality television who's made a name for themselves doing this similar horrible things.

[A]

Well, so, like, I'm not going to pretend like, what she did is okay, because I don't think it is okay.

[B]

Never. No, not at all.

[A]

But it's also, like, it's my worst nightmare as a person who struggles with rage issues being postpartum. You do not have as much control as you normally do because your body is out of whack. That's not an excuse, but this is terror. This is truly terrifying. There are times in my head where I could rage and Hulk the fuck out.

[B]

And you really have to work all the tools in your toolbox to not every single tool.

[A]

That's why my heart breaks for her. Like, I doubt that there's a chance in this world that she did that and thought, good on me.

[B]

Right. Well, and not only that, she wasn't hiding from it. It was allegedly. I mean, I think factually, but I haven't seen it acknowledged in the first season. And it was something that was top of mind. I think the difference is seeing video footage and then the public really gets to experience it, which is horrifying. Like, it's horrifying to just talk about. But then I think when you put imagery to it is where it's like, it's inexp.

[A]

It's inexcusable behavior. And I'd be lying, and most of us would be lying if they said they didn't have. Have those kinds of thoughts.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The difference is we don't act on them. Yeah, but sometimes it's really hard not to act on them.

[B]

Yes. And she was allegedly drunk. He kept saying, you're drunk. And if she is, like, really actively, like, working a program and trying to stay sober and, like, manage her feelings and maybe she's gotten to a better place just not being postpartum as well. I don't know. Does she have another young child?

[A]

Child? I think she just had a kid. No, no. Like, that was like, I don't know where she was in child rearing when the video actually took place because I couldn't watch season one. But it's just like, you're postpartum for two years. I don't know how old her younger kids are, but it's also like she's in a horribly emotionally abusive relationship. A cycle of a toxic relationship that she just couldn't seem to get off the merry go round us.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And like. And they're young as hell. Nobody is really acknowledging how young these women are.

[B]

Well, yeah, in Utah, they start their families. I mean, they'll get married 18, 19, and then the kid is on the way.

[A]

It's so brutal because I think about where I was at 18 and 19, and honestly, 24 as well.

[B]

No, we were. When we met, when we were in our early 20s, we were still lost children. Were children. Like, not even knowing how to manage our own lives. No, Like, I. I'm not. And to each their own. Like, I'm not saying you can't have kids young, but I'm so glad I had kids once. I had a better understanding of, like, who I am and where I stand in the world and what my values are because those weren't established for me at least in my early 20s.

[A]

No. And I just think about like how grateful I am to be able to have children in my sobriety as opposed to having them ever see me having

[B]

them experience you and something that scares

[A]

the hell out of me is it. If my kids ever saw. So like for me, sobriety is like twofold. I have my emotional sobriety and then I have my physical sobriety. I cannot use substances and I can still act like a person who has no emotional sobriety if I don't work a program and I have seen and

[B]

heard and like so is that, I mean, and you don't have to get specific, but is that what you think you're currently working more than the urge to drink?

[A]

Oh yeah. Because the urge. I don't have the urge to drink. The thought of drinking truly makes me sick. I could do drugs, but the thought of drinking truly makes me sick. But the strength that I have is I don't. Is to not. Like my strongest attribute is against the substance. Does that make sense?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Like my sobriety is strongest when it comes to the face of a substance. But I get closer to a drink the less I work on my emotional sobriety. So if I don't wake up every day and start with like a prayer and a meditation in an attitude. This is so stupid of gratitude attitude. I'm.

[B]

I mean me too is somebody who doesn't have an addictive personality. I literally, if I don't like welcome in positivity and have a moment of like grounding myself and breathing. I am so much more of a nightmare to be around. And then I, I guess so like what you're kind of saying is like your behavior, even if not on a substance gets addictive.

[A]

Yeah. It become like I would say so like if I'm scared and I'm anxious and I'm not happy, I am going to be nasty to those in my orbit. I for some reason was not given a blueprint on like at birth. I did not get a blueprint on how to just not be an asshole. And that's, that's how I simplify it. Right. So what do I. So my way of what I have learned as an adult is the prayer of St. Francis. I take everything away from being a self centered egotistical. But I have to have the prayer of St Francis which to me is the IKEA instructions to not be an.

[B]

Which is.

[A]

It's. It basically takes every negative trait that I could have and gives me the opposite action. So like, seek to understand rather than to be understood. Seek to love instead of to hate, which is an ironic one coming out of my mouth. Mouth. Seek to, you know, where there is darkness, shed light, where there is doubt, bring faith. All of those things. If I don't have that key, right, or that legend on the map to tell me how to take this negative thing and make it into a positive thing that can make me of service to my community, I feel like I'm not worthy of love. I feel anxious, I feel angry, I feel hatred. And when I feel those things, I act those things. But if I didn't have, you know, 13 years off of a substance that numbs me out and keeps me from thinking about fixing myself and if I didn't have, you know, seven years of working on my emotional sobriety, I would have no control and put me in a 19 year old body with a

[B]

baby and a reality, and a reality

[A]

television show and I'm gonna, I'm gonna do a lot of. And a lot of damage. And I think that it's like, honestly, I watch the show and I get so triggered thinking about these women being postpartum and that young and on this platform and like, and the breaks that they're not getting.

[B]

And it does feel, I mean, it's hard. Like there are so many more regulations around reality television now, but it's still almost not enough. Like even going into this spin off, I feel like these women are an older age. They are, they've had children for a while. Like they know what they're getting themselves into. A lot of them are Internet personalities as well. They've been producing themselves for a long time. But like, as you're saying, these women in Utah, it's like if they're so young on reality television, it's just like they're being set up for failure.

[A]

And, and also I commend these women because all of them are running big businesses for themselves and for their families. And they're doing an incredible job. They're highly successful, highly functioning women who are going through so much. And I don't think, I'm not saying the reality shows the problem, and I'm not saying these are excusable behav behaviors. But I am saying these are mistakes made by young women who are learning and growing and give them a shot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because what they're doing is, what they have is a passion for creating life and maintaining it. And God bless them for doing everything that they can to Right the wrongs after they've done them.

[B]

So air the Bachelorette, Eric for me.

[A]

God, please give her something she doesn't like.

[B]

Season two of your Friends and Neighbors.

[A]

I hate season two of your Friends and Neighbors Neighbors so much. I hate it so much it's ruining my life.

[B]

Okay, Stagecoach was what?

[A]

Stagecoach was a natural disaster and a total nightmare for everyone but Tom Hanks. Oh, yeah, yeah. So there was it Stagecoach, because guess why.

[B]

Chat is performing.

[A]

Was performing.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Chat, a newly sober king in his own right.

[B]

You want to know the amount of times I've revisited Kylie's generous house tour video?

[A]

No.

[B]

So many.

[A]

Why does that come to mind right now?

[B]

Just because it was like, was Chet Hanks in it?

[A]

No, it's just like, why are you thinking about that?

[B]

I'm always thinking about Kylie Jenner lately.

[A]

What is going on right now? Well, is this a stroke symptom?

[B]

Stagecoach is where Coachella was at and you're saying, like, Tom Hanks. Then I'm like, I wonder what Tom Hanks's version of Stagecoach is. Like, what does that look like? Like, what house is he rolling up to? And like, how is he avoiding the masses? And like, what kind of luxury does that look like? And then quickly in my brain, that goes to Kylie Jenner. Did you see it again? I mean, her.

[A]

I see how we got there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Just like.

[A]

No, no, no, I see it. I see it.

[B]

Okay. That's where I'm fascinated by, like, the ultra riches experience at music festivals.

[A]

Oh, my God, I love it.

[B]

It's, you know. Okay.

[A]

Like, honestly, no.

[B]

I vibe that I would love to be a fly on the wall for Tom Hanks's experience and Stagecoach.

[A]

Do you know that I'm like, close, personal friends with Tom? Hannah. Thanks. Have I told that story here?

[B]

No.

[A]

Well, then let me tell you.

[B]

How's Rita?

[A]

Rita's good. Rita's good. She's solid. She's holding it down.

[B]

Picture this. It's midweek, you're tired, you're so hungry, and you have a family to feed, and all you want is a delicious home cooked meal.

[A]

Enter hellofresh.

[B]

Honestly. Exactly. I always either end up making the same boring recipe or I cave in and I order out. Satisfying a craving does not have to be only reserved for takeout. You can create that magic at home, and hellofresh will help you achieve that in such a simple way. With hellofresh, you can cook up bold flavors from around the world without ever leaving your home. What I love about hellofresh is Everything is delivered right to your doorstep. So you skip those awful trips to the grocery store and you can know that you could just walk downstairs to your pantry and have something delicious waiting for you that even someone like me who's not skilled in the kitchen can achieve. And with hellofresh, savoring new flavors from around the world isn't just delicious. It's simple. And it's also wholesome.

[A]

I have been enjoying my hellofresh meals so much lately that I'm actually saving the recipe cards and recreating them after I've had them.

[B]

What's really cool about HelloFresh is you're not ever going to be eating the same thing twice with them. It's like recipes unlimited.

[A]

Not only that, but the recipes are so good that I'm like even taking, taking pictures of the recipe cards and sending them to friends who don't have hellofresh and saying, okay, this is worth it.

[B]

Yeah. You can choose from 80 plus global recipes every month, including Vietnamese, Moroccan, Caribbean, and so many more. Nothing hits like home cooking. And I promise HelloFresh is going to deliver that to you. They're also offering you a special deal right now. You can go to hellofresh.com the Sip 10 FM to get 10 free meals plus a free Nutribull Ultra plus two in one compact kitchen system. That's a value of $189.99. You get that on your third box, which is an incredible deal. I love my Nutribullet. Oh, it's great.

[A]

No, I love our Nutribullet.

[B]

Free meals are applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. Disclaimer must order the third box by May 31st of 2026. That's hellofresh.com the sip10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free Nutribullet.

[A]

Do you remember when, when Tom Hanks was like the first American to get Covid while he was filming in Australia?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I cried. I was like, we're losing a national treasure. And then when he wrote it out and made it through, I was like, oh, this isn't that bad. And then they shut down the world for three years. Crazy.

[B]

So that's how you know him?

[A]

No, I know him because we've been friends.

[B]

You. What are you. Are you effing with me right now?

[A]

We've been friends since I was like 11 friends. Close, personal friends.

[B]

You have his number in your phone?

[A]

No, but that would have been weird if he gave an 11 year old girl his number.

[B]

Somebody that knows his number.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so tell us the story then.

[A]

When I was a young warthog, I think you recall, my first love was Haley Joel Osment. And my godmother did a film with him. And Haley Joel Osment also did a film with Tom Hanks. You might have heard of it. It's called Forrest Gump.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

Yeah, Haley plays the little boy where he goes like, is he like me? Was that really good or what? Because I honest to God, have, like, a delusional bone in my body that tells me I do a really good forest gum. You want to know was it uncanny or am I stupid?

[B]

You want to know the most embarrassed I might have ever been by you just now watching back the footage of Olive Garden where you're just screaming at the top of your lungs, Give me your best Denzel Washington monologue. And Spencer's just dying of embarrassment in real time because you have screamed so loud that you're like, no one was

[A]

in that vomit crusted Olive Garden. Nobody was there. There was no one for you guys to be embarrassed around.

[B]

I left a very big tip because I was like, I am so sorry for what you've had to endure.

[A]

Tip me for eating lunch in a restaurant that reeked of milk puke.

[B]

Where do you want to go for your birthday?

[A]

I don't even know.

[B]

You don't have, like, a favorite place?

[A]

Last year on my birthday, I found out I was pregnant with Ernie. We're never going to top it unless we find out I'm pregnant today with my daughter.

[B]

Pregnancy test.

[A]

Don't play with me, dude, because you

[B]

still haven't exported your video for the Patreon.

[A]

So you know what?

[B]

Pregnant.

[A]

Maybe I never will. It's gonna start getting hard to look you in the face if I never export that video.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. The last time she couldn't export videos that were fully complete, by the way, is when she was pregnant. And it was like there was a mental block where she just couldn't export a video. I'm probably pregnant, so let's go get a pregnancy test and celebrate at.

[A]

No, I'm not pregnant.

[B]

He wants.

[A]

No one wants to know about how I know Tom Hanks.

[B]

No, I'm dying to know.

[A]

Okay, so Rita Wilson called me. She's like, girl called you? Yeah.

[B]

11 years old, she's calling me.

[A]

I'm dealing with this hooded pussy problem. I know you know something about it.

[B]

I said, ovard, Avery woods, your old dog, all have hooded.

[A]

There is a list celebrity of group of women with Hooded vulvas. And we would like to have you come speak. We heard that you have a really great diagram example that you can do now. So where was I?

[B]

Tom Hanks.

[A]

Tom Hanks. Haley Joel Osman. That's my Nexus. It's not just a Six degrees of Kevin Bacon, though, because we were all in the same room at the same time. So my godmother, knowing full well that I'm obsessed with Haley Joel, and that Haley Joel played Horace Gumps. Daughter, son, whatever. Tom Hanks got a lifetime achievement award very young. And the joke that night was all about how, like, he's getting a lifetime achievement award, but his life has only just begun. And Helen brought me to that ceremony.

[B]

Your godmother?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, you're good. You're just dropping it. I mean, everyone knows.

[A]

Oh, we've talked about this on the podcast.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So she brought me to the lifetime achievement award ceremony with the hopes of meeting Haley. And so we're sat right in the front row, and he. Tom Hanks comes off the stage and immediately grabs my hand and shakes it and says, I hope you don't get too bored, sweetheart. And then that was the beginning and end of our great friendship.

[B]

So it truly is a great friendship.

[A]

Truly.

[B]

That's like, I've probably been that close to him on a red carpet, but he didn't shake my hand.

[A]

No.

[B]

So I'm not cool.

[A]

No. I'm so sorry.

[B]

Well, thank you for that 15 minute story about Tom Hanks.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

Who. You're very.

[A]

You're welcome. A little boop. You were like, what are we gonna talk about today? I was like, I don't know. Hold my beer.

[B]

Okay, so what about Stagecoach?

[A]

Oh, it was a nightmare. There was a windstorm they called an emergency evacuation, and they were like, stagecoaches canceled. Get the out of here right now. And they shut it down and everybody went home. And then, like five minutes later, they're like, it's fine. Come on back. And then a bunch of people were mad about it, and they were like, well, we went all the way home because you told us to go home. And then some of them were like, we're rallying. We're going back. And so they went back. It really nothing happened. It was just a big windstorm.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It was dramatic, but not as dramatic as a UTI caused by a. What, Chris, Louder for the girlies in the back.

[B]

I did.

[A]

Yes, son, yes.

[B]

And so Tom Hanks was there cheering on chat.

[A]

Yeah. And he was low key, you know, wearing one of those outfits that, you know cost $5,000, but you can't tell. And he just was watching his son and I believe his song has. His song. His son. His son has a song called like,

[B]

where he exposes every woman in Hollywood with a hooded vulva.

[A]

He's been there and done that.

[B]

Came out on stage and it's like this big hooded vulva awareness moment where we're raising money for the women.

[A]

Advocating for always getting your bacteria tested to make sure you're using the right antibiotic. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Okay, so has anybody made it back to Euphoria? No, it got like that, like, it got like ripped apart critically like in its reviews. And then it was like HBO's highest viewed episode of television ever. Her. And then I never checked back to see how the second episode did. Cuz I too tuned in for the first episode being like. And then I never made it back.

[A]

Yeah, I honestly, I'm like, I'm a broken record at this point. I just don't want to watch.

[B]

Okay, we won't be too mean.

[A]

I'm not being mean. But I don't want to watch a bunch of women be degraded. Be degraded.

[B]

And that's really what it feels like

[A]

by a man acting like it's funny and like women's only value you is human trafficking.

[B]

You know who. Because Zendaya did not want to be there, but she did get a million dollars an episode. And she was like, and I shot this season in half the time we shot the other seasons. And so she just, she said that. I saw that somewhere. Yeah. And then she cashed that million dollar an episode, Jack.

[A]

Good for her.

[B]

Good for her.

[A]

You know who was the first woman to get paid a million dollars for an episode of television?

[B]

Jennifer Aniston.

[A]

Helen Hunt.

[B]

Really? That's all that. What's her show?

[A]

What did you just say?

[B]

That's all that. What it was.

[A]

No. Mad about you.

[B]

Mad about you. That's all that.

[A]

That's all that. That's all that was.

[B]

Should we make a Z com go? That's all that.

[A]

Period.

[B]

It's you and I. That's all that.

[A]

That's all that.

[B]

That's all that.

[A]

Instead of stories, we just use words. It's like teaching a person how to say words. But we can't. Can't.

[B]

Okay, so what did Joe Biden do?

[A]

Can I go back to Euphoria for one second? Okay, there's a moment on the carpet where it appears that Zendaya had like, contractually obligated to not take photos with Sam Levinson. Cuz she's like walking in. He goes, come on, let's take a picture. And she go. And one of her people comes by and is like, come on. She's like. She's like. And I'm just like.

[B]

Well, she also, like, obviously doesn't want to have an encounter with Sydney Sweeney.

[A]

She. What is up with her in Sydney Sweeney show?

[B]

I mean, it's just alleged that they hate each other.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And so she like, stepped onto the carpet in the last five minutes of the carpet, took like four pictures. And then you can see her like rushing off to her car and leaving. She doesn't go inside to watch the premiere or anything.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

She did what she contractually had to and.

[A]

And made it clear because she hides so much of her life. But the fact that all of us have seen and know about this crazy Sunday. I sent a message.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, yeah, crazy via carrier pigeon.

[B]

So Joe Biden.

[A]

Joe Biden is such a funny lady. And honestly, I don't know the status of her vulva or whether or not it's hooded, but I can.

[B]

But she was on stage at Coachella with Tom Hanks, so it seems like she might.

[A]

But I'm also. Now I know that Jill will show up to any philanthropic event just because. Okay, because she was at a Glad charity auction.

[B]

Gay.

[A]

Super gay. But I'm pretty sure she's heterosexual. But honestly, let's not bi. Erase the first lady, okay? Because we don't know.

[B]

We have no idea.

[A]

Just like we don't know about Avery Osborne. Which one's in the throuple?

[B]

Aspen.

[A]

And they're different women with the same name?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, Aspen and Avery.

[A]

Right. I hear it. It's like I have blonde blindness, but for Aspens and Avery.

[B]

Okay, one's brunette and one's blonde. Blonde.

[A]

Oh, that helps. Because in my mind, they're both brunette.

[B]

Oh, maybe they are.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

You know, I can't tell the difference.

[A]

Have you ever seen them in the same room?

[B]

Well, like, Dirty Blonde gets confusing because I'm like, is it dyed blonde? Was it naturally brown or is it just close to brown?

[A]

Are they in disguise? Is it the same girl? Is it like how Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus are?

[B]

She might be outside this office right

[A]

now wearing her blonde wig.

[B]

No, you're going by asking.

[A]

Happen. Okay, so Jill Biden was at a Glad charity auction, and she literally offered $35,000 to have a cameo role in season two of heated rivalry, and she did not win the auction.

[B]

Who did?

[A]

Oh, I Don't know, but I think it was like $95,000. And then she said, guess I won't be going to the cottage. She is funny.

[B]

Former first lady. Yeah. Dr. Jill Biden in her bedroom watching heated rivalry.

[A]

I mean, aren't we all?

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Cleaning our. Our bacterial infection next to her.

[B]

Do you think Joe's watching too?

[A]

Yeah. Wow. Okay, you guys. So we thought it would be really fun if we did a question and answer section from our patreon.

[B]

Who are you, an 80 year old grandma?

[A]

Well, you said you might need to cut.

[B]

No. Question and answer. Q and A.

[A]

What did I say?

[B]

Get in the 20, 25.

[A]

I'm 36. I'm 36. I say things like question and answer. Okay, okay.

[B]

Who had a question that we can answer?

[A]

Liz, do you think you'll use IVF or whatever else to make sure you have a girl next? I would love to. No. IVF seems really brutal. You have to give yourself shots and drop an egg and then have the egg extracted, and then they make embryos and then they re implant it. And like low key. I think I'm still traumatized from my first C section because anytime I have to have like a pap smear or like whenever anyone is in my business, I'm. I get fighter fight or flight in me, and I'm fighter. And honestly, I shouldn't be ducking OB gyms.

[B]

It would be your luck, though, to like, be like, okay, we're gonna give it one more go and then you get a third boy.

[A]

But honestly, I wouldn't mind it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I do have this psychotic feeling. I might. I might have already said this, but I have like a psychotic feeling, like almost like premonition that I have a third child. And it's the same way I felt before I had Billy and the same way I felt before I had Ernie.

[B]

What if you never get rid of that feeling, though, and you just keep having kids?

[A]

I don't. I've always, like, even when I named Ernie, I was like, I'm giving this kid our middle names because he's our middle child.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. But who knows? Because also last night I was like, we're done.

[B]

So that's only because you were going to kill your husband.

[A]

Yeah. And obviously we've learned that that would be a good choice because I would get $2 million,

[B]

which in California will get you nowhere.

[A]

Literally nowhere. But you know what? I will have to leave the state because I'll be on the run from the law and I can't get caught. I just got $2 million. Okay. Oh, this is kind of a fun one.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Where do you both see yourselves in 10 years?

[B]

Well, yeah, I don't know.

[A]

Oh, no, you know, I mean, I don't know. No, you know.

[B]

Well, my mind's swirling.

[A]

No, we talked about it last night.

[B]

Literally on a house that's overlooking the water. Hopefully as an actress, light, like on a successful show, but like, I'm not leading the show.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I'm showing up and doing a lot of preparation, but, like, it's not all falling on my shoulders.

[A]

Right.

[B]

My husband's a director and he brings in the majority of the income. So I'm working for fun. And I'm the housewife.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's my life.

[A]

Okay. You left out one key detail and it's literally in writing in my text messages from last night. You still have a podcast. Oh.

[B]

And we still have a podcast. Of course. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's manageable.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

In 10 years from now, I think I have at least two New York time best selling books, period. I have three children. I have a fine sized home that I own and for some reason don't have to pay property tax on.

[B]

That's really cool.

[A]

We can't figure out why or how, but I've definitely skirted the property tax of California. And everyone's like, how did you do it? I'm like, I don't know. Ask Austin. And all my dogs, Icky and Bubs are thriving and they.

[B]

10 years.

[A]

In 10 years, they're doing really good.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And this is a dream. Don't say that. I will literally self harm right now. I will start crying right now. I started crying on our walk last night when Joe pointed out that they're not gonna live right forever.

[B]

Wow. After not cleaning the kitchen, he wanted to point out, your dogs are going to die.

[A]

Yep. Whoa. It was really crazy. It was really crazy. And honestly, he was farting and the audacity of a man who doesn't clean the kitchen but is ripping ass in public. I want to bottle that audacity because that's what's going to get me two books. Yeah.

[B]

That's a beautiful life.

[A]

And James has children that play with my children, but he still lives in my house with me.

[B]

I'm. I am honestly hope I have a third in that mix as well.

[A]

And we're both. Maybe they're both girls, Maybe they're both boys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I only have six boys.

[B]

I could be fine either way.

[A]

I. Me too. Like, literally, truly. Yeah. Okay. Oh, my God, if you both had to Switch lives for 24 hours, what is the first thing Ryland would do in Lizzie's house? And what is the first thing Lizzy would do in Rylan's house? I'd take a nap.

[B]

I guess I would breastfeed. Well, are we each other in this scenario?

[A]

Why do you want to breastfeed?

[B]

Well, I just want. It's all that you think about, so I want to know, like, why it's all you think about.

[A]

Well, you're not in my body, so then you would just be breastfeeding my children with your own chest, which. Honestly, bro, creepy as hell. I just said I wanted to take a nap in your house because it felt like a place a person could take a nap.

[B]

I would probably go to James's art studio and. And have, like, paint with him. Be like, can you teach me something? Oh, my God. Vibe out with James, browse to my right and see the squirrel going on the squirrel facility.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what you want to do?

[B]

I mean, yeah, you could do that

[A]

whenever you want it.

[B]

Really? You think he would, like, have me over for a painting session?

[A]

Yeah. Do you want to come over? I'll set it up.

[B]

I mean, are you going to paint too?

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Why don't we do an after sip?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Where he. Where we set out with a vision.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then, like, see where it goes. But we just, like. That's a nice after sip.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Creating a piece of art, period.

[A]

Okay, let's do it. Okay. What do we think Chris's stomach issue is because he drinks mouthwash?

[B]

Well, he did say that this one's made to be drunken, so I don't know if I would still spit it out unless I, like, had nowhere to spit. But, you know, if you're in a pinch, I'd swallow it too. I guess he's googling it. We Google the smell. I know, I know.

[A]

Like, Rena Wilson doesn't have a hooded pussy.

[B]

I stood up for you. I said, you're technically allowed to swallow it. If there was a sink nearby, I still wouldn't. Can I clarify that? It's. I just want to clarify because there were many comments saying, why are you swallowing mouthwash and I'm not. I'm swallowing mouth spray, which is a spray designed to be swallowed your eyes.

[A]

Why is this making me want to throw up? Okay, I have one good one we can end on, because, you know, we're not revisiting this.

[B]

What.

[A]

What's a boundary? We wish. What's a boundary? You wish you had set sooner in your life.

[B]

I guess one that I'm still struggling with is telling myself I don't have to do it all because I overbook myself in a way that, like, I want to do and is manageable when all is well. Like when the family's healthy, when, like, when, like everything's going according to plan. Plan. I can do everything I've signed myself up for. But, like, when things start going like, you know, life happens, I have a really hard time saying no to Indie any individual piece. Like, this week I, like, cannot make acting class. And I keep telling myself I can make acting class and I can't. But, like, for some reason, I can't accept the fact right now that I just need to be like, I can't do that this week and stop stressing about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, why can't I just take it off my plate?

[A]

Yeah, I get that.

[B]

Because I feel like I have to. I. I have to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, everything in my life to me feels like a have to. And even this morning I was like, you don't have to do anything. No, like, you like, literally just chill out, brother. Yeah, you don't have to do anything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you know, like, some weeks, some things have to give and like the, like, there's, you know, some things have to get.

[A]

Yeah. It's also insane that you took on an acting class, but I get why

[B]

it's what I want. I want to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I really want to. But like, when life is crazy easy and something has to give, unfortunately, it has to be that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know?

[A]

Yeah. That's so funny. Mine is a direct contrast to yours. My, my boundary that I wish I had fulfilled at this point right now is I will make decisions for myself. And I say that is a non negotiable. And I will negotiate myself on it every day. And it's simple little things that, like, make me happier and make me healthier and like, well, like doing those dumb 100 claps.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I'll be like, I'll just do 200 tomorrow, girl. When are you gonna find the time to do it in tomorrow if you couldn't do 100 a day? You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then it snows ball and it snowballs from. That was a non negotiable to now I'm not gonna do it. Just like, I feel better when I make my bed. Like, just make your bed.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Just make your bed.

[B]

And I do think, which will be controversial to say because I know there's chemical imbalances but. And like, that is just what it is when it comes to like happiness. Like, some people are clinically depressed, but I think even if your baseline just like a standardly like happy or unhappy person, it's like, happiness is hard.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like you've got to go out of your way to like eat well, work out, sleep. Right. Try to maintain low cortisol levels. Like maintaining being, being healthy and happy is a lot of work.

[A]

Yeah. But it's also like, if you don't really, if you don't think about it well enough, it's less work to be happy than it is to be miserable. Because if you build your misery muscle, then all the shit that you still have to do is still there and piled up.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

You're just miserable and doing way too much of it in one moment and then suffering from not doing it the time that you're not doing it.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

And so people are like, well, it's so much work. It's like, well, no, it's, it's actually less work to choose joy. It's actually less work to choose happiness because it doesn't pile up on you and then you're not living in misery and filth.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

So it's like the cost of it is a better surroundings.

[B]

But then when I'm trying to make all my surroundings better by taking on all these extra things, why can't I just let go of one of them without making it like a debilitating decision?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And that's like, what? Because nothing I'm like pushing myself to do isn't good detrimental. Like everything's in benefit of like becoming better, a better person. Like more well rounded. And so it's like, when's there going to be more hours in a day?

[A]

No, but when are there going to be more hours in a day?

[B]

That's what we should be.

[A]

That's what we should be asking Patreon. Where are the hours? Hours.

[B]

Okay. You know, the best way to improve your sleep isn't by like going out and getting a new mattress or getting and investing in all these sleep trackers or supplements or even blackout curtains. That becomes a huge project. And most of the time that isn't even the problem itself. It's actually the bedding and the things that are touching your skin, like pillowcases, blankets, sheets. Which is why I love today's sponsor, which, which is bowl and branch. They make your entire bed. They have satin sheets, breathable pillows, cozy waffle bed blankets, and beautifully crafted comforters. All of These products are designed to work together to control not only temperature but to maximize comfort. No complicated setups, no new routine. You're just switching out your bedding and I promise it will make a world of difference. Before I got my bowl and branch bedding, it's embarrassing how long I've had my bedding. Probably since I got my new bed which was like seven years ago. And I got two sets of them and I would rotate them like I was watching them a lot but like, it's gross. And when I got my new bedding, I oh my gosh. I'm sleeping like a brand new woman. It is wild. What a difference new bedding will make. You'll feel like a brand new girl with bowling branch. Most people actually start with their signature sheet set and then quickly add the comforter or waffle blanket. I was sleeping on like a very hard linen. I'm not. It was gorgeous, but it just wasn't comfortable. And when I switched over to bowl and branch, let me tell you, the softness of these sheets, 10 out of 10, the breathability, it's like, oh my gosh. I don't have like dead air trapped around me all night and I just feel in general so much more comfortable. Something else I want to note is they got even softer when I washed them. Like oh my gosh. So if you want to upgrade your sleep and experience the magic that I am right now with Bol and branch, they're actually offering you a special offer right now. You can get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at bol and branch.com the SIP. When you use code the SIP that's Bullenbranch B O L L A N D B R-A N C-H.com the SIP and use code the SIP to unlock 15% off exclusions apply. Hello girls and welcome back to the SIP. Alright, so we are celebrating for Elizabeth's birthday. We are. Finally. If you've been watching this SIP for years, Lizzie has been wanting to go to stuck since Shane and I went on a date to stuck in Colorado. And let me tell you, stuck is like a club that happens to sell steak. And so we're. I know.

[A]

I was gonna come into the frame. My birthday's.

[B]

You ruined her life. You ruined her birthday. So I do think there's stucks across the nation. Apparently there's at least one in Denver.

[A]

Yeah, it's at least a southwest thing.

[B]

And so we've been edging.

[A]

We have to get out of this weather.

[B]

It's awful out here. Beautiful on camera.

[A]

Oh, it's a lie because I can't open my eyes and it's gray.

[B]

Okay, well, cars are about to come. They need us to move. Come to stake with us. I think it's called stk. I've never been to a stick. You can't even see out here. You're immediately immune to this weather. There's a little bit of sun. I'm getting burnt in the worst way. It's like. It's like through gray rain clouds, there's a little bit of sun, making it so you can't see through the gloom.

[A]

This weather just reminds me how badly I need Botox.

[B]

This feels like the Beatles album. Give us your best dance move.

[A]

No, I don't have them, but this is what Billy's been doing lately. That's good. I love my kid. Should we go get him?

[B]

All right, we'll see you at Stuck. We're at the movies here. Should we just go see Michael Jackson? Oh, I really want to see that. I really want to see it.

[A]

I'm singing with my husband for my birthday.

[B]

No, you're not. That's a lie that you just made up.

[A]

No, no, no, it's not. It's real.

[B]

Hey, girls. Welcome to Stuck. It's really pretty in here. It's really.

[A]

Aren't you. Oh, my gosh.

[B]

They have a version of my horse, but it's a bull and he has giant te. Testicles.

[A]

Joe had an issue with your horse. He goes, but that just came with the house, right? And I said, no. They picked it out.

[B]

Wait, are you kidding me?

[A]

No. I was like, no.

[B]

And he doesn't clean the kitchen. Oh.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

He's back on mama's side.

[B]

What is wrong with him and my horse?

[A]

I don't know. He just kept being like, but it came with the house, right? And I said, no, it didn't came with the house.

[B]

I could go over there and strangle him with my bare hands.

[A]

Should we call him? I missed it.

[B]

I'm sick of him. I love him so much. Well, now you just made me hate him.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He wasn't saying it in a nasty way. He just kept saying, but it came with the house, right? I said, no. Wrong.

[B]

Next time I go to your house, I'm gonna go back to his trash yard and I'm gonna say, so this stuff came with the house. This gym equipment from 20 years ago. Hello. Lizzie's getting insecure because the server is incredible, and he's like, here for a special occasion. I was like, yes, Our girl's birthday. And she's like, I hope he doesn't think this is it for my. Like, this is my birthday party.

[A]

My birthday party is a nap.

[B]

I guess Chris and I aren't cool enough to be her birthday party.

[A]

No. I welcome all of you to my bed tomorrow where we will cuddle up and nap.

[B]

I'm really worried that we're going to be copyright in this entire episode, though, so this is a problem. Well, there's literally no one here. Can we just ask to make you. Hey, it's Liz Izzy's birthday. We're gonna need no music. I mean, we could ask. We could ask maybe if they could turn this room down.

[A]

The whole place.

[B]

It's supposed to be like, the place is the music. I mean, we could just leave it as the after sip, but then we have to try something else.

[A]

What is there to try right now?

[B]

I don't know. What are you guys getting?

[A]

I might do the power lunch.

[B]

I'm gonna do the power line.

[A]

I like a New York strip.

[B]

I'm gonna do the filet. I was thinking of the play.

[A]

Joe thinks I'm gross because I prefer a New York strip.

[B]

Okay, so we're ordering. Lizzy's comes. Oh, sorry.

[A]

He hit me.

[B]

Lizzy's comes.

[A]

He hit me on camera.

[B]

I hit her on camera.

[A]

He ducked me right in the face. Look. And my hair's all up for when he hit me off camera.

[B]

She orders something with bacon. And he's like, with the Wisconsin bacon. And she goes, well, is there another bacon? No.

[A]

He said. He asked if I was okay with the Wisconsin thick cut bacon. I said, why is there another kind?

[B]

And then he was like, it took away while. And I was like, let's just wrap this up.

[A]

Am I giving off, like, a weird girl vibe where I'm not down with thick cut bacon? It's like, mama's down with thick cut bacon.

[B]

Okay. But it was just taking so long. And I was like, you're gonna circle two C sections?

[A]

I think it can handle a thick cut bacon, period.

[B]

Wow. I don't know what Joe has about glossy red statues. I, like, really need to go and confront him. Rylan's fighting with Joe. They're beefing.

[A]

Finally.

[B]

I. I guess we should get a thumbnail option in here since the lighting's good. Elizabeth, get in. Chris, get in.

[A]

He needs to frame from below. Stop playing with me.

[B]

I don't know. I requested. I said, since we're the only people in here and it is her birthday, can we.

[A]

You did not Incorporate my birthday in that request.

[B]

He knows it's your birthday. He's mentioned it every time he's come to us. Enjoy birthday.

[A]

I think it's cuz he feels sad for me. He's like, your party is really at like 2 on a Monday.

[B]

Danny, we're going to turn dad down. Thank you so much. Honestly, experience so far has been incredible. They have treated us like princesses since we walked through the door. And he said, and this is not normal. He saw the camera, the vlog camera, and he goes, it's your birthday. Enjoy, relax, film, do whatever you want. Enjoy. Yeah, I was like, like encouraged. Yeah.

[A]

But when we walked in, a security guard was like, no cameras, only stabbers to the mall.

[B]

Yeah, of course, Worth the Westfield Mall. That needs the promotion. As we previously discussed, Marcus is closing here and that's because they don't let people film in the mall. So we walk into the mall and the security guard, no filming here. So Chris cuts the camera and Lizzie under her breath goes, oh, only stabbings. You can just stab people. That's fine, but don't film it. Where's the lie? Maybe they don't want us filming because we'll clock one of those on camera.

[A]

We'll catch the stabbers.

[B]

Okay, the clouds are starting to depart. Oh, wait, you couldn't hear me. Okay, the clouds are starting to depart. And Lizzie's theory is about what?

[A]

Oh, they're fine with us filming because nobody's in here.

[B]

Oh, Jesus. They just turned the music down for us.

[A]

What did you want me to say?

[B]

I guess I was prompting you to be nasty. And then I realized I was prompting you to be nasty and I thought, that's nasty.

[A]

And so you. You vilified me on the Internet after you were fine with it off camera. You're the real villain here. And I'm gonna have a behind the scenes.

[B]

I was gonna buy you an OURA

[A]

ring, I'm gonna have a Benny Blanco podcast, and you guys are gonna meet the real Ryland, the one who's very kindly offering aura rings off camera, but also beating the out of me.

[B]

And when she says beating the out of her, she means like what you've experienced moments ago. Roll the clip, Lizzy.

[A]

He decked me. Can anyone enjoy Justin Timberlake music anymore? Or are we all like secondhand embarrassed?

[B]

I mean, we are both just dancing to it.

[A]

Oh, well, we would be the ones who could enjoy it.

[B]

Wow, I'm excited. We got, we all got their lunch special. 45 for an entree and a salad.

[A]

But nobody Got the meatballs.

[B]

Oh, and they had wagon meatballs.

[A]

Choices were made, beds will be slept in.

[B]

And then we got Mac and cheese and corn pudding.

[A]

I did offer to bring food back for Spencer.

[B]

Did you?

[A]

No. I'll never do that again.

[B]

When we went to the Cheesecake Factory, Lizzie was like, don't worry, you don't need to come. Like, cuz he was. He was working or buying Olympic tickets. Nobody really knows. And then he goes, we'll bring you back food. And then we're about to leave and I go, did you get Spencer food? And she goes, no. What did you spit out? There's an ice cube in my mouth.

[A]

It's tongue piercing that no one's noticed

[B]

for this whole time. Well, I'm really like. My feelings about Joe are just so complicated to me. Like I started loving him and now you're hating.

[A]

I feel he's complicated. Yeah. He's polarizing in your heart. It's like a spectrum of joke.

[B]

Everything in.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Okay. Thank you. He's awesome.

[A]

He's so sweet.

[B]

Should you be in the middle since it's your birthday?

[A]

No. I would hate that.

[B]

If I could get over you, I would.

[A]

It's because the table's an odd shape and I'm larger.

[B]

I know. It's just sometimes like the constant flipping of the camera gets exhausting while I'm trying to eat.

[A]

So Ryland has asked us to both sit in his lap, which we both thought was incredibly unprofessional and an inappropriate request for him to make as our boss. But what are we going to do?

[B]

What are you going to do?

[A]

We're going to sit in his lap.

[B]

I'm so paranoid. My editing brain's flipped on right now and I'm like, can we hear anything?

[A]

No, no,

[B]

no.

[A]

And we're filming in slow mo.

[B]

Yeah, let's check. No, we're not. Lizzie's just being a.

[A]

But we could be if we wanted to.

[B]

Oh, we could.

[A]

I'm gonna just, you know, just a little trim. A little trim to the salon.

[B]

Oh, sorry. I just ruined your B roll. That's okay. Hold your real life drama, Liz. Okay, okay, okay. Bread just came and it looks exciting. It looks good. And they have a blue cheese butter on top of the bread.

[A]

What? That is?

[B]

Yeah, that's bold to like serve to everyone. Cuz you don't like. Blue cheese is polarizing.

[A]

And then what's the butter?

[B]

What's. I'm into blue cheese personally.

[A]

You're also.

[B]

We're on my ruining his B roll.

[A]

You're stepping on my.

[B]

I think I got it.

[A]

No, I'm part of the B roll.

[B]

I cannot. It's like. I have a mission to get your clean shoes dirty today.

[A]

So now we're also going to go get me a fresh pair of sambas.

[B]

Nightclubs, we can eat some work. You should be first. Well, no, you should get the centerpiece.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

You don't think so?

[A]

I mean, I don't want. I'm saving room for my food.

[B]

Thank you so much. Wow. Just perfect. Steams. Thank you very much. And one more night.

[A]

Chive olive oil. Nice.

[B]

What else? One more knife, right? Sure. Thank you very much. Thank you. I'm gonna pour a little on this. Sounds like it's for me. You're a blue cheese boy. I love blue cheese.

[A]

Blue cheese is the first food I ever ate.

[B]

Ever?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What do you mean? Call your dad?

[A]

No, I'll tell you. Do you really want me to calm you?

[B]

Hot. I like this like, skillet thingy. Keeping it hot. Yeah. Scoot in a little.

[A]

Christopher. Give it back on daddy's lap.

[B]

Cuz that cheesecake. The bread is so good when it's hot, but it gets cold so fast. And this is keeping us hot. That's genius. My favorite steakhouse, Steak 48. They serve them in this, but it's like a. It's a mixture of a. A croissant and breadth. It's like croissant bread. What do you guys think? Tangy. The sauce is like, great. I. I don't know what I was expecting. What is it again?

[A]

Chive olive oil.

[B]

Chive. I would say it's as garlicky as it is blue. Cheesy.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Would you disagree?

[A]

I don't know. I think you're tasting the chai.

[B]

The innards of the bread is really warm.

[A]

It's really soft.

[B]

It's really soft and warm. I think I love it. I do love it. It was different of tasting than I thought it would be, but I.

[A]

It's surprising.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's notes of surprise, which couldn't be

[B]

more appropriate on a birthday, but warm, fresh bread is just the best. Always delicious. Oh, here comes.

[A]

It's happening.

[B]

Oh. Aha. The tuna.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Oh, it's so cute. Wow.

[A]

Oh, I got that wedge. Thank you.

[B]

Four.

[A]

Okay. Thank you.

[B]

Thank you very much. You're welcome. Enjoy. Thank you. I'm going to move your iced tea out of the way. Thank you.

[A]

Could I get a bit of extra dressing, please?

[B]

Extra dressing. Be at one show.

[A]

Oh, stop.

[B]

Wow. It looks pretty. What did you get?

[A]

They're not calling it a wedge, but that's what it is.

[B]

Yeah. I have an issue. I take issue with a wedge because it's like, you have to do so much cutting. I don't know if anyone likes this sort of thing, but would anyone like to try?

[A]

You know, I would, but I can't.

[B]

Raw fish?

[A]

No, I mean, I can do raw fish unless I'm pregnant.

[B]

This is, like, the biggest mound of a salad I've ever gotten. It's really large. Look how cute the tuna tartar is. It is really a little baby.

[A]

A little baby.

[B]

Oh, it's good. The Caesar dressing clocks, we're up. This is way more flavorful whole than I thought. This is delicious. Oh, is it avocado on the bottom? Yeah. Okay. I will say they dressed Lizzy's right. A lot of sauce and blue cheese crumbles. You know, wouldn't you say? The dressing on this is fantastic.

[A]

I'm having a hard time tasting it because I had blue cheese dressing in my mouth. One thing about me, though, is I love a wedge.

[B]

I am waiting for the shot girls to come in. These are so much more flavorful than I would have imagined. Shocking. Really tasty.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And is the chip, like, taro or something? Yeah. That's so cool. I love this. 10 out of 10 for me. All right, we'll be back when our food comes.

[A]

The meat is definitely 3D printed.

[B]

You think so? No, it. I mean, it does look a little different than, like, mastros or steak 48, but maybe it's also because I'm seeing it in the daylight. You know what I'm saying? Let me cut this thing open. I want to see what this. It does look soft. Yeah. You cut through it soft like my dude. Actually, no. Yeah, it is. Oh, I'm barely putting any effort. Look at that. I'm not serious. I'm not cutting at all. Is it perfectly pink? I would have liked a little more pink. Yeah. If I'm being honest, on my medium, they're. They're a little. Well, that's like it for a medium. That's a medium. No, but very, very soft. I would have liked a little more pink.

[A]

On mine.

[B]

I'd like a little bit of pink, but super, super, super, super soft.

[A]

Well, you said medium plus.

[B]

I said med. I said medium plus. I said regular medium. I'd rather. Well, normally, what I'll do, because a lot of steakhouses, like, the plates are, like, so hot that I'll, like, get it undercooked and then cut it up and cook It a little on my plate.

[A]

Have a living.

[B]

Yeah. What is yours? And it's her birthday, so that's. Are the fries Good. Hand us a fry here. We each need a fryer. What's up? Lizzie's so far. Now she's out of frame. I feel like my children. Sorry.

[A]

This is just like the coffee incident.

[B]

Well, I was trying to get for the mic, but it's.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. That was sexual. I had a little tingle.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

It's like a tempura French fry.

[B]

Which ones did you get?

[A]

I got the New York.

[B]

New York.

[A]

Do you want this? I don't want to touch it for you.

[B]

I'll take one, if that's okay.

[A]

Touch your own.

[B]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[A]

Touch your own. Touch yourself, Chris.

[B]

It's nice and thick. Oh, do they remind me of elementary school fries and a.

[A]

That's a compliment in, like, a Crinkle Cutty way. Not.

[B]

No, I didn't have Crinkle CR Cup. Did you try the filet? What do you think? Oh, wa. I would say mine's more medium.

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, you know what? It's pinker than I give them credit for when I'm really looking in it. It's very tasty. Mine, anyway. Yeah.

[A]

What is corn pudding?

[B]

How did you come to the conclusion of it? Normally, it's a creamed corn that steakhouses do, so I don't know what they're doing. Is it good? Yeah, of course it's good. The filet is very soft. Seasoned to perfection. It's really nice. Mine, anyway. It is good. I do like it a lot. And you. You know, at a steakhouse, I kind of like. It's probably, like, the chef probably doesn't love to hear this, but I kind of like to dip it in, like, the cream corn or the Mac and cheese. Yeah. And it's like, you know. Oh, no, that is right. The cream corn. That is right.

[A]

Brook would say, I know that's right.

[B]

Wow. Brooke randomly joined one of my TikTok lives recently, and I panicked. Like, I can't do this with you. Here. Oh, thank you. Oh, my gosh. Check this out.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Check that out.

[A]

That is a sauce platter, my friend.

[B]

That is the sauce platter. We're not aligned here. We got the chimichurri. We got some drawn butter. We got our STK red wine reduction, a peppercorn. We got the Bernes right there. There. We got our blue cheese butter from Point Reyes. We got some STK bold. And then we got the creamy horseradish Y' all perfect. And then I got a bunch of this. Hell, yeah. Amazing. Just gonna leave that right there. Thank you so much. Thank you. Wow.

[A]

STK Bold.

[B]

I think we're all sauce girlies here. And this is a sauce girly's dream. Lizzy is the definition of a sauce girl.

[A]

Yep. The Bold SDK Bold. Something black licorice about it.

[B]

Oh, gosh. The Mac and cheese is hard to. Hard to serve. The pony is so good. Wow. Oh, this was the spoon of the Mac and cheese. You want a little? Sure. Oh, gosh. Okay. That's got to be enough for me, Lizzy.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

No. Oh, she's dairy light. I know. When he first was asking, do you have any?

[A]

I considered explaining. Shut the up.

[B]

I was like, okay, thank you.

[A]

Don't say I never did anything for you. That was for you. What do I need to try it?

[B]

It's just different than I was expecting. It's. It's a different kind of cheese than most Mac and cheeses have. What's the cheese? What is it kind of cheese?

[A]

I do not. I don't know.

[B]

Dang. That said, it's your birthday. You can't have it. She can.

[A]

I had one.

[B]

She can have whatever she wants.

[A]

You can have whatever you like.

[B]

You can have whatever you like. What is the cheese? No, it tastes good. I was being a little bit of a hater on first reaction. It wasn't called pork. What are you gonna do with all these sauces?

[A]

I'm tasting them all, but I'm only tasting a little bit so that I don't compromise them in case Chris wants them. The red wine one. Good.

[B]

Your stick's good. What do you think of the Mac and cheese? I love it. But I see what you're saying. I'm like, I've never tasted a Mac and cheese that tastes quite like this. Yeah. I don't know what that is, but I love it. It's. There's, like a variety. The main cheese is different. It's not like just your classic cheddar cheese. All right. The snake is good. Yeah.

[A]

I'm really enjoying mine. I've been going to Lala's a lot and getting their New York strip.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. You're going to Lala's a lot?

[A]

A lot.

[B]

Yeah. I've never been invited to Lala's.

[A]

Come to the park with us after nap time and then go to Lala's for dinner.

[B]

You're going for dinner? Yeah. Billy really stays entertained the whole time.

[A]

Well, because he loves chimichurri. So he basically just puts his hands

[B]

in the oil bowl and then just crams it.

[A]

Also, Billy's good at eating out.

[B]

I love that he loves chimichurri. I guess you guys have just been eating out since the. That's, like, all he knows.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Well, no, I don't mean all he knows. I just mean you guys have frequented. You guys have been eating out since he was a child.

[A]

Should I text the family that ghosted

[B]

me and be like, well, you.

[A]

Because I think we're friends enough that I could make a joke about that. So, like, I could text the dad right now and be like, listen, I'm never gonna make able to make eye contact with you again if you leave me on red.

[B]

I don't think you. I think that's why they keep their distance from you.

[A]

No, I'm finding funny.

[B]

No, I think you're funny. I think they're put off by it.

[A]

No, they think I'm funny.

[B]

Well, then why aren't you guys friends?

[A]

Should I ask that?

[B]

Are we not friends because I come off too strong? What are you guys. Dipping sauce? Oh, you're stuck. I just like the corn on the stick.

[A]

I'm a big fan of a creamy horseradish on a sticker.

[B]

The filet is really good. I almost feel like it's taken away from it a little bit. Sauce? Yeah. This is really good. The red wine one is really good. I think that's what most chefs would say. It's like, don't drown my steak in your sauce. The red wine is really good.

[A]

It's like a Salisbury steak.

[B]

Okay, well, which one's that? This. Let me see. Oh, I like the bowl. The bowl is for me. The house bowls. Oh, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Are you guys kidding me? You don't like it?

[A]

Ew.

[B]

It's, like, good, good. Yeah.

[A]

Ew.

[B]

The red wine one. Yuck. Honestly, though, the filet is really, really good. Yeah. So I feel like you can only make it worse, and you're a meat queen, so. I mean, his. His boy. His boyfriend does barbecue. Okay.

[A]

It was like some gay sex thing.

[B]

It did feel. I think it felt homophobic the way

[A]

he said a gay meat queen. He didn't say gay me queen. I added that in my brain.

[B]

I think with Chris, it could be both, you know? Yeah, I know two things can be true. Wow. Have you been to mastro for steak 48? No. All right.

[A]

Guess we know where we're going for Chris's birthday.

[B]

Exactly. Get ready, girls. We're going to Beverly Hills.

[A]

They're both in Beverly Hills.

[B]

Love this song.

[A]

This is Michael.

[B]

Yeah. As a kid, I stumbled across in the house. We had this VHS that had every Michael Jackson music video ever, just, like, in a row. And I was obsessed as a child, and I would play it over and over and over and over. And I knew all the songs. This was my favorite one. I do have to say, say, my steak actually is cooked perfectly. See, mine is kind of pink. Oh, yeah. The best pairing with the steak is the corn pudding. I will fight you about. Is it like a salty sweet thing? Did you try it with a corn? Try it together. No. Yes. Oh, no. Yeah.

[A]

Like, it reminds me of what we do at Casualina or Casualinas.

[B]

Yeah. Like, honestly, that. That street corn pasta with steak, it kind of gives that same flavor.

[A]

A street corn. Name Desire.

[B]

These are nice knives, too. They are. Let's see. Me and Chris don't agree on flavor things. No, no, it's nice. It's nice. That's what he said about ranch and bread. I didn't like that as much. He's stupid.

[A]

So no one's gonna bring our fireworks for me?

[B]

I guess not. And that's a real problem. Do they know I'm an influencer? I still think the steak by itself is just where it's at. Yeah, it is good.

[A]

The fries and the blue cheese butter.

[B]

Really good.

[A]

It's all right.

[B]

It's just. Okay. Their fries are really good, though.

[A]

Yes, I concur.

[B]

I keep stealing your fries. Okay, well, we're gonna. I mean, now it's just silent.

[A]

Well, we're blacked out.

[B]

I've literally, like, have two more bites of steak. I was just like, so we'll see you guys in a bit. Lizzy got on the phone with Joe, and I started hashing some of the things out. I was like, you know what? I do have a problem. And then as I'm relaying my problems, Joe's like, well, that's not really a. Like, how it went down. And then we found out the common problem is how Lizzy's delivering the information between the two of us.

[A]

I am an untrustworthy messenger, and I will admit that sometimes when I tell DRO or Rylan something about Joe or Rylan, I'm specifically changing the story in a way that would cause drama.

[B]

Why would you want drama between your husband and your best friend?

[A]

I don't know. Why do you clickbait every title of our podcast?

[B]

For the views, and it's here for you. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Oh, dang.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Wow. This is incredible.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Very good. So good. Wow.

[A]

I don't even know how to handle this.

[B]

All this for her. Happy birthday, Liz. Happy birthday this year. There you go. Thank you.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I want to shake a hand of the bird Negro.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you very much for coming in today, celebrating your birthday.

[A]

Thank you for the delicious steaks.

[B]

Yeah, they were very good. Appreciate everything.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

This is beautiful.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Elizabeth.

[A]

Do they think we're someone else?

[B]

This is the most beautiful display of a dessert.

[A]

They think that we're like first responders or something.

[B]

They have to. Wow. They can't treat everyone. There's no way.

[A]

No. They think we're someone else.

[B]

They think we're like.

[A]

They think we're like teachers or someone good.

[B]

Do they know all we do is fight with our husband's publicly and that

[A]

part of it is just me lying about my husband's.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

A lot. Lava cake.

[B]

It's so pretty.

[A]

This looks very light.

[B]

Wow. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I took yours. I'm going to try to take as much of this brownie as I want up front. So I'm not double dipping.

[A]

I don't think it's brownie.

[B]

What? What is it? It's a lava cake. Oh, well, yeah, sorry. I made it look disgusting because I just wanted to.

[A]

Oh, it's good.

[B]

Scoop away, Christopher.

[A]

When you say things like that, it makes me think of signs. She says, swing away, and then I'm like, are we going to die? Are we going to have to fight for our lives against aliens? And what we're going to have to do, Chris, is we're going to have to scoop at them. Do we stand a chance if that's the reality of our situation?

[B]

They love scoop. Yet you're down.

[A]

You're down to scoop.

[B]

I'm a good scooper.

[A]

Why do. How do you know?

[B]

I think I did pretty good.

[A]

I think you did scoop.

[B]

Well, focus on the what the matter at hand here.

[A]

No, it's delicious. But this is very important. If we're facing the of days and the only hope we have is Christopher scooping, I want to know why he thinks he's a good scooper. What qualifies you to scoop to save our lives?

[B]

I don't know. Maybe I'm over.

[A]

Why is he just save our lives.

[B]

There's other people here now, okay?

[A]

They also probably think we're first responders. I'm allowed to act like this.

[B]

Can you believe the head chef came out and delivered us a charcuterie board.

[A]

Shake my dessert. Like, what did.

[B]

What did I do with dessert? Drizzled with greatness. You're a celebrity.

[A]

I'm scared.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Like, what a nice man.

[B]

Yeah, he was so cute.

[A]

And also, can we talk about his dance moves?

[B]

Yeah, he came out when we started cheering. He. You have your don't care.

[A]

No, it's really good.

[B]

I will say service from start to beginning, since the moment we hit the host stance has been out of control, luxurious.

[A]

They're making us feel like somebody. I don't know who that is.

[B]

Yeah. They either think we're first responders or celebrities or teachers. I'm stuck on service from start to beginning. That's just me. God bless you. Wow. Well, I like the chocolate cake and ice cream so much, I don't know that I can trans, like switch to the cheesecake. Oh, this is the best version that it exist of this. I've never had a better version. It's so good. Whoa.

[A]

What a sexy little serving dish.

[B]

I wish you guys could see them, but they don't want to be next to me. Oh, you can see me now.

[A]

I'm put over here grooving. You can see me over here, right?

[B]

Oh, wow. The cheesecake's good too. Yeah, that lava cake is incredible. Wow, wow, wow. I like the lava cake with ice cream more than the cheesecake. Cheesecake's not bad.

[A]

Oh, I'm blacking out. Oh, I've spaced out on the Chris's hand and I can't unspace if you know when that happens. It's crazy.

[B]

I need to steal something else to get. I need more ice cream, but I don't want to make it so Chris can't have more. I'm stealing half the ice cream. I appreciate you. This is our dessert scoop. Wow. They're both really good though. I agree.

[A]

The.

[B]

The chocolate lava cake is better, but cheesecake for a cheesecake. Yeah. Really good for a cheesecake. Yeah. Cuz some people aren't like cheesecake people. I wouldn't say I am.

[A]

Cheesecake's a quintessential steakhouse option.

[B]

I think it is. Again, for a cheesecake. Very good.

[A]

So are we going on a cruise? Was that the conversation we decided?

[B]

That's what I heard.

[A]

Did we book a cruise? Are we going to go on Jojo? Siwa's cruise?

[B]

Would be amazing.

[A]

Yeah, it would.

[B]

You mean Joel?

[A]

Is that what we're on?

[B]

These two of my clients have.

[A]

Have cruises that her name is. Oh, what?

[B]

Two of my clients Two of my

[A]

clients have proved this, that her name is Joelle.

[B]

And I was like, why no cruise? Cruise who? One of them, he has. His name is Matt Cutchell and he has a emo cruise where he invites emo bands that play and stuff.

[A]

Can we go on that one?

[B]

I don't know. I can ask him. Ask him.

[A]

Ask for free ticks. Tell him I need four.

[B]

I don't know if I can get free, but I lie. We'll lie. And then the other one, my client, client has a cruise called the Trailer Trash Tammy Pontoon Party. And that's.

[A]

What do you think? Pops harder, right?

[B]

I think they'd both be really fun.

[A]

I'm looking to get down to, like, my wrist up black my eyes because I don't know that I could get down on the Trailer Trash Tammy Bash because I'm not drinking.

[B]

That one's more like, I know they

[A]

invited, but I do have an opossum, so maybe I do fit in there.

[B]

They invited Mini Kiss, which are little people that are Kiss cover band, and they got very drunk and were performing fellatio and women in a Jacuzzi and they got kicked off of the cruise.

[A]

When you get kicked off of a cruise, where do they kick you?

[B]

That's a good question. Maybe they were. Bam, into the sea.

[A]

Or do they lock you up?

[B]

You must go to the sea. Okay, we got to go. No, no, I have no idea.

[A]

You have to cut this out. You have to cut this out.

[B]

No, I'm not going to timestamp word.

[A]

I'm cancelable for what I'm saying.

[B]

Okay, then don't say it.

[A]

I'm not saying it, but I'm thinking it so loud that Chris can hear it and everyone knows.

[B]

Okay, shut up.

[A]

And that's the s. Wait, I'm cutting it.

[B]

Okay, bring it to me. Bring. Happy birthday, Lizzy. Okay, you guys, thank you so much for watching and enjoying the set. Everyone's link are listed in the description section below.

[A]

I've got two vlogs this week, both containing Megan Adams.

[B]

Morgan Adams.

[A]

No.

[B]

Thank you guys so much for watching and are enjoying our show. We love you so much. We'll see you next week. We love you. Goodbye. And that's the.