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Lizzie
Is this my Ariana Grande moment? How do I feel? No.
Rylan
You don't even know how good it feels.
Lizzie
What feels good?
Rylan
Everything.
Lizzie
Whoa. Are you on drugs?
Rylan
Everything feels so good. I'm so tired. I don't know what you moms are doing taking your kids to theme parks.
Lizzie
Oh, my God. Stupid.
Rylan
Guess what.
Lizzie
What?
Rylan
Each and every single one of us showed up wearing shades of green today.
Lizzie
Well, none of us. No one's trying to get pinched, bro.
Rylan
What?
Lizzie
No one's trying to get pinched.
Rylan
Is it St Patrick's Day?
Lizzie
Are you joking?
Rylan
Are you. Wait, are you kidding me?
Lizzie
Are you doing a bit right now for attention? You attention seeking ho.
Rylan
Wait, are you guys kidding me right now? No.
Lizzie
You literally thought this was a coincidence.
Rylan
Wait. No, you're kidding me.
Chris
No one's.
Rylan
I can't even find the date.
Lizzie
Oh, my God.
Rylan
Now I feel awful. I green on the most now. It's, like, not cool anymore. I thought this was a coincidence. Wait, Chris, you knew that?
Chris
Yes.
Rylan
What? We don't know any other Monday that's a holiday. But everyone knows St. Patrick's Day.
Lizzie
Well, it's a set day.
Rylan
Now I feel uncool, like I don't want to go with the crowd. Now I want my green to die.
Lizzie
You liked us all matching moments before you realized it was St. Patrick's Day.
Rylan
I just feel so cheated. Why didn't you tell me that? Inside I was like, oh, my God, we're both wearing shades of green. Who told me it's St. Patrick's Day? What?
Lizzie
Oh, God, I'm so confused.
Rylan
How come every holiday falls on a Monday?
Lizzie
I don't.
Rylan
Why do we work every single.
Lizzie
Wasn't Christmas on a Monday this year?
Rylan
Now that it's a holiday, I'm like, ugh, cancel this.
Lizzie
I'm about to start throwing up water.
Rylan
She was obnoxiously chugging water.
Lizzie
After a little while, here's what she does.
Rylan
She comes to my house, she takes my overpriced electrolytes. It's like she boycotts buying them for herself because she knows she's coming here at least three times a week and she'll get her fix.
Lizzie
Well, I don't need them at my house.
Rylan
Because you get them enough at my house.
Lizzie
That's what I'm saying. Why would I get my own if they're here?
Rylan
Can we hear you?
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
Okay.
Lizzie
Why is it far from the mic? I do feel very far from the mic.
Rylan
This green, I guess. Wow. You know what? What, girl, I will bring my. I don't know if Serendipitous is the right word.
Lizzie
Not. Not.
Rylan
But my. My illusion of what's going on.
Lizzie
Oh, no, it's fine.
Rylan
Oh, what's wrong? What's wrong?
Lizzie
Nothing was wrong.
Rylan
Well, something seems wrong. No, if he was getting up, something might be wrong. What's wrong, Chris?
Lizzie
He was trying to fuck with my mic stand.
Rylan
Oh, is it in frame?
Chris
It's just a little low, that's all. Oh, but if she sounds fine. Sorry.
Rylan
Okay. No, no, no, it's okay. What is crazy is that we both.
Lizzie
Crazy.
Rylan
We both bought these shades of green together, not preparing for St. Patrick's Day, because I didn't even know it was coming up.
Lizzie
Facts. Hard facts.
Rylan
And what's crazy is this morning I was searching when Easter is, and I still didn't discover that today was St. Patrick's Day.
Lizzie
When is Easter?
Rylan
The 20th of April.
Lizzie
4:20. Blaze it up. Jesus.
Rylan
You can't do that.
Lizzie
He has risen. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm not trying to.
Rylan
This green shirt makes your boobies look fantastic.
Lizzie
Two shirts like this.
Rylan
You're covering it up with the mic so we can't even enjoy your cleavage. Is this one of those things that Jett has on his arms?
Lizzie
I don't know. Maybe a tiny one. These.
Rylan
Well, they go tiny. I don't know what it's called. Everyone asks.
Lizzie
Jet has this raspberry thing.
Rylan
Yeah, Jett has a raspberry on his arm. And everyone will be like, what's wrong with him? I'm like, nothing. I guess he's broken. Just get that. And the doctor said over the first three years of life, they just shrink. Shane has one. You have one.
Lizzie
I actually have a lot of little ones.
Rylan
I think I have one on my chest, too.
Lizzie
They. I think some of it is like a hormonal shift in a woman's body when she hits 30. Because I woke up on my 30th birthday just covered in these tiny little raspberry things.
Rylan
I was like, oh, this is it. Oh, well, that debunks my whole theory of them being from birth.
Lizzie
No, I mean, there's different things. Like, babies come out with hormone weird, too.
Rylan
Okay.
Lizzie
It, like, can be weird and terrifying and gross.
Rylan
Okay, so what's going on over your. Other than your over consumption of water after? Oh, that's the thing. Are we ever gonna start. Are we ever gonna start. Start this podcast? And she just kept going back and refilling her water because I was, like.
Lizzie
Doing a bit and I was trying to enrage him, but he, like, never got enraged. And now I'm just like, oh, so full of water.
Rylan
I'm super chill and cool. I don't get any.
Lizzie
He really is so super chill and cool. Because, like, I would have been like, what the are you eating? Because I just kept refilling the water and drinking it. Like, he was like, are you ready?
Rylan
Oh. I wanted to start with our new mantra.
Lizzie
Oh, what is it?
Rylan
You know, hold my hand.
Lizzie
Oh, we are the luckiest girls in the world.
Rylan
And don't any of you try to with that. Her husband tried to with our energy.
Lizzie
Why are you broadcasting that? I feel like that exponentially makes the bad juju. Jo Jo and I got a huge.
Rylan
Can we stop holding hands now?
Lizzie
I suppose. Joe and I got a huge fight about this. He's like, so what, you're superstitious now? And it's like, I'm not superstitious, but words have power. And when you speak things like that into the universe, it comes back and fucks us. Like, for example, you said that. And then 10 minutes later, we realized it was the fucking LA marathon today. And that doesn't happen to lucky girls.
Rylan
The LA marathon just doesn't happen if we're lucky. No.
Lizzie
Like, it was crazy that he said it.
Rylan
Well, you didn't bring us into the story. What did he say?
Lizzie
I'm not gonna say it.
Rylan
He alluded to the fact that we might not.
Lizzie
That there's an alternative side to being the luckiest girls in the world and that it might be attributed to me. And I was like, you don't talk like that.
Rylan
Which. Yes.
Lizzie
You don't do that. Not in this house.
Rylan
The same point that my husband decided he should buy Universal tickets but not execute on the season pass. That might be Che.
Lizzie
Right.
Rylan
And he's done that, like, three times now. And Lizzie and I can't figure out.
Lizzie
And this is the third time he's been to Universal, like, within two months.
Rylan
Yes.
Lizzie
Yeah. Just buy the season.
Rylan
And he keeps saying, we'll do it once we get there. We'll upgrade it if the line's not long. And I'm like, why wouldn't you just.
Lizzie
Buy it out the gates?
Rylan
I don't. I. I don't know. I don't know. I can't explain. Husbands. They're crazy. They're crazy creatures. Crazy beings.
Lizzie
They're nuts to butts. Oh, and they're so lucky to have us. They're the luckiest boys in the world.
Rylan
Oh. That all started at Disneyland, as you know, when we were the only ones to not be on the coaster. That broke down, and Lizzie and I just started chanting, we're the luckiest girls in the world.
Lizzie
What I was just going to say, I expanded on it. We. I attract, I don't chase, I work. And we are unsinkable ships. You're part of my mantra now.
Rylan
But.
Lizzie
I've been saying that regularly. And then I'm part of this, like, mom chat thread, and there's, like, offshoots of the mom chat thread, and I can't stay on top of all of it because I can't actually stay on top of anything. Like, I think I have 50 unread text messages right now. Anyway, I get a screen grab from one of the moms that I do Mommy and Me with from one of the offshoot mom groups that I'm, like, a member of but can't read anything about. She goes, there's a producer in here looking for somebody who does horror comedy, creature features. And I was like, what? Last year, I literally. My last assignment was a movie called Lice. And before that, I wrote the Thing meets Booksmark Book Smart. Jesus. I'm so hydrated, I can barely speak. And so I am. I love creature feature horror comedies like yae, Whatever, Vibes. And I read this listing for what this producer is looking in a writer, and she wants it to be one of the moms from one of the mom from the mom group. And I was like, oh, my God. I just slid into her DMs. I was like, hey, girl, they're looking for me.
Rylan
And are you guys in chat?
Lizzie
I sent her my script, and she's reading it, and she'll be in touch.
Rylan
Wow. But you're the luckiest girl in the world.
Lizzie
It's gonna work out. I do not chase, I attract, and I am an unsinkable ship.
Rylan
We put it out there, we don't worry about the outcome, and we know things are coming for us in the right moment.
Lizzie
Hard work needs preparation, and here we are.
Rylan
When I was in my young 20s, it was always dreams become things. And now that I'm in my 30s, it's, we're the luckiest girls in the world.
Lizzie
Oh, we are the luckiest girls in the world. It's stupid. Like, really? I think about it all the time. Like, what the fuck?
Rylan
Oh, wow, there's a huge moth in here.
Lizzie
It's probably gonna hit me in the ear. Joe gaslit me the other night. I was falling asleep and I had my light on my phone really close to my face, and a moth flew into my ear, and it was the Scariest thing that's ever happened to me. And I screamed bloody murder. And Joe goes, what? And I go. Something just flew into my ear. He's like, are you sure you didn't just imagine it? I was like, yeah, I'm sure. I'm not that schizophrenic yet, but what the fuck? Why did you go straight to victim blaming and gaslighting? That was crazy of you, Craz crazy.
Rylan
So what did you do to him?
Lizzie
I killed him. He's dead.
Rylan
Perfect.
Lizzie
His body's just rotting in the nursery. I propped him up so that he looks like happy fun Times dad, so that Billy doesn't get scared.
Rylan
And where are you going to? Where is he going to go?
Lizzie
The body?
Rylan
Yeah. Where's the perfect place to. Now I feel like we're on the.
Lizzie
Sdp, like, well, I need to mummify him so that it's like a little bit like psycho, like Mommy in the attic, but Daddy in the nursery, so.
Rylan
He'S going directly under the floor.
Lizzie
I think I'm going to just keep him out. I don't really put anything away. It's nice to have him around.
Rylan
And you don't think anyone's coming to look?
Lizzie
Oh, if anyone were, it'd be me. Or now his mom, I guess. March, keep your mouth shut.
Rylan
Oh, can we show your second husband on camera? On film? I believe so, because what's going on at her house is quite crazy.
Lizzie
I know. I've got two mans.
Rylan
He's a squirrel whisperer.
Lizzie
He's Snow White.
Rylan
It is.
Lizzie
Oh, the background story is, I don't have two mans. I have one husband. His name is Joe. And his brother, for lack of a more appropriate title, comes with him. Their package deal. So he lives in our adu. I think I should call him my ADU husband. So James lives in our backyard and.
Rylan
He'S in love with the squirrel.
Lizzie
No, he has three squirrels.
Rylan
Oh, all of them come onto him.
Lizzie
Yes.
Rylan
He goes up to the squirrel and the squirrel crawls on his arm up to his shoulder and they just have a sweet, loving embrace. And then her real husband had to break it to me that squirrels only live for three years.
Lizzie
He broke it to me too. And that was super sad.
Rylan
It's like, what are you doing telling the luckiest girls in the world we.
Lizzie
Don'T need to know that? What the fuck? No, it's super funny. Cuz when my dad was visiting, he was. He went out to the studio where James does all of his painting and work and stuff, and he came back and he's like, us squirrels just came into the studio. Like they expected something from me. And I was like, it was probably Carol and Nick. Those are James's squirrels.
Rylan
It is so cute that they have a relationship like that.
Lizzie
They really do. Carol is crazy, but she just had three babies and they're growing up a little bit, so she's getting a little less crazy because I think she's finally getting some sleep.
Rylan
Wow. The life cycle of a squirrel. So they must be, what, like a one year old when they have a baby?
Lizzie
I guess, but. And what's so crazy is, like, the lady squirrels, I think they're just like, constantly, like, trying not to get fucked by the male squirrels.
Rylan
Oof.
Lizzie
It stars. It's not like a happy fun times.
Rylan
Community, but squirrels are really smart.
Lizzie
They're really cute.
Rylan
Can you believe this is what our fun podcast has become? Me picking earwax out of my ear, wiping out my jeans. Should I taste it? Taste it? Oh, I would never.
Lizzie
I would never.
Rylan
So we decided to be brave, bold, beautiful girls and take our babies to Universal.
Lizzie
He did. I didn't.
Rylan
I was begging her to. And for some reason.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
What?
Lizzie
You know that Billy has a very busy life and you literally call. 15 minutes. I'm at Costco. I'm at Costco. Edit that. So it seems like it's just the first time I see it.
Rylan
No, we're not going to.
Lizzie
Oh, my God. So I'm actually seeking engagement and attention.
Rylan
She's sick and wild and crazy and lucky.
Lizzie
So we're at Costco and he calls me. He goes, so what, are you trying to come to Universal Studios right now?
Rylan
I've been prepping you for a week, girl.
Lizzie
You know, Sunday, someday.
Rylan
Everyone at your swim class is sick. It's basically canceled.
Lizzie
Yeah, Billy was the only one at swim class. It was like a one on one. He's so talented. They're like, he would advance if he was, like, not a dumb baby. But because he is a dumb baby, we're gonna have to hold him back here at Tadpole. But as soon as he's, like, less dumb, we'll move him up. I was like, oh, my God.
Rylan
So how long do you stay in swim classes? Forever. Yeah, there's just always another level.
Lizzie
Yeah. So basically, literally, it is just because he's dumb that he can't move up.
Rylan
I mean, I think it's his normal age range.
Lizzie
Oh, no, it's his normal age range, but he. Because he, like, doesn't know how to pull himself up out of the water and he can't physically jump into the water. He's just stuck in, like he's.
Rylan
Billy is a smart man.
Lizzie
Yes.
Rylan
He really is. But his body isn't allowing him to do the things that his mind is telling him to do just yet.
Lizzie
That's the thing. Sometimes his body can do more than his mind can handle. Also. And I'm just like, you're too mobile for your stupidity. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, this is dangerous. You need to chill.
Rylan
Right?
Lizzie
Yeah. And I was talking to Haley about it, and I was like, it's like he's got Joe's dumbass strength and my dumbass mind. And she went, oh, no. And I was like, I know. And I'm like, so proud of it. Like, he's crazy like his mom, but he's strong like his dad. We made the perfect monster.
Chris
I love it.
Lizzie
He's my best friend.
Rylan
Oh, wow. I'm just. I'm like, where do I want to go from here?
Lizzie
Universal.
Rylan
Do I want to thank you for getting a haircut to warn all of us other moms?
Lizzie
Well, I think you want to tell us about your Universal Day first.
Rylan
Okay. So we're big, brave, beautiful girls. The last time we went to Universal, we were all going to take the babies. And then we decided, well, my family was here. Let's have it be enjoyable for the adults. Not that it's not enjoyable with babies, but there's not much.
Lizzie
Well, they also said we literally couldn't bring the babies.
Rylan
Oh, we went on the. Right. We did the studio tour. And they have to be 5 year olds.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
To go on that.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
So the babies were X'd out at that trip, but Lizzy and I were like, well, we're gonna get the passes. We don't live that far, and we're just gonna frequent Universal. I've decided I'm not a frequent theme park girly.
Lizzie
I knew it.
Rylan
It's just. I don't think I'm the casual theme park goer. It takes a little bit of the specialness out of it.
Lizzie
Oh, I always love going and then coming home. I don't know what it is. Just something about walking around Universal. I'm like, oh, I do love that movie. And if. If it's safe for Billy to go to Water wars or Waterworld. What do they call the show? Water wars or Waterworld?
Rylan
Waterworld.
Lizzie
Waterworld. I think he'd love the danger, but I'm worried about the fumes.
Rylan
I think Waterworld and Kung Fu Panda is all babies our age can do.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
And you find out babies under 2 are free. And it's free because there's nothing for them to do.
Lizzie
Can they do Secret Life of Pets?
Rylan
I kept telling Shane, like, let's just.
Lizzie
How would they. Who's gonna know? Like, who's gonna know?
Rylan
Put them under our Z, butt buddies.
Lizzie
And cuz they would love Secret Life of Pets.
Rylan
It's a pretty good time.
Lizzie
And thank you for finally admitting that. This has been calling me the F word for years for loving Secret Life.
Rylan
Because it's the world's worst line. The furniture is fake. It's hard. It's like part of the attraction. I feel like you're getting walking through.
Lizzie
Some New York apartments and you're just a little hamster.
Rylan
But if you skip the line, it's great. It's a fun time.
Lizzie
It's the cutest.
Rylan
And I do think the babies would like it. But the thing is, like, it was so crowded because it's spring break and it was basically you're just like trying to move when you can't and the babies can't do anything. Like, they were very visually stimulated and did have a good time. I'm glad we went to know Nintendo World.
Lizzie
Did I say it weird? Am I dying?
Rylan
We didn't even brave going downstairs. We did all of the upper Law and we ate at Minions Cafe and we played some of the games. I mean, good. No, it's like really bad for you food.
Lizzie
But I saw that you got the nachos. Did they?
Rylan
The nachos were good.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
Yeah. And then everything else was good. It just was like gonna kill you.
Lizzie
Right?
Rylan
You know, like it felt unhealthier than most theme park food.
Lizzie
Damn.
Rylan
We got a slushie that I felt like was death.
Lizzie
The blue banana one, it was like.
Rylan
Ice cream, blue slushy, pound of whipped cream and runts on top.
Lizzie
It looked good.
Rylan
It was so good. Yeah, but it's like you drink the whole thing and you're gonna die. And I didn't feel like I could give that to my babies.
Lizzie
No, you definitely can't.
Rylan
I gave them one tiny bite and I was like, you're done for the rest of the year with sweets. Sorry, guys, but I'm not an almond dad.
Lizzie
No. Or a crunchy mom.
Rylan
I don't know what that one.
Lizzie
I think you're like a middle someone. I saw someone on Instagram being like, you know, like, I'm not gonna give my kid red dye 40. Unless it's a birthday party, in which case everything. Like, the theme is red dye. 30, 40. It's like, I get that.
Rylan
Yeah. They've got to be exposed to a little bit. Yeah.
Lizzie
That's their adversity.
Rylan
We had a great time. It was super fun. I just think after Lizzie's on our way back home and I was like, hey. Because she sent me a picture of her and Billy, like, on the blanket playing outside. I was like, can we come play outside with you? She was like, yeah, I think they had more fun doing that than going to Universal. And I'm like, it's a little easier to just go to a park with a friend with a baby, then go to Universal and, like, spend hundreds of dollars to, like, kind of have fun.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
It was still a fun experience. I'm glad. It was, like, their first time. I know they're not going to remember it, but it was more for us than them. It was like, for us to see them see things that they're not going to remember, you know?
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
It's special.
Lizzie
Yeah. No, I do think that there are some things that Billy would truly love doing at Universal that they just won't let him do because he's a baby. Well, yeah, but I could just hold a little card up that says I'm advanced.
Rylan
But that's what I mean. I don't think, like, you and I are just going to get in the car and go walk around Universal. I think we'll just.
Lizzie
Oh, I could see it. Oh, you couldn't see it.
Rylan
I mean, I guess. Fine. Whatever I'll do.
Lizzie
You can go eat at the wizard of Oz place.
Rylan
Fine.
Lizzie
Or what is it called? What is that?
Rylan
The Wicked Cafe.
Lizzie
The Wicked Cafe.
Rylan
And I have been wanting to do that, so.
Lizzie
Whatever. Dying to do that. And our kids would love to eat there. Billy had a tomato last night.
Rylan
I was saying we could do that for the sip, but you're a breastfeeding mom and you're annoying.
Lizzie
If we go for the sip, I could bring the baby.
Rylan
No, the sip's recording right now. It's here and right now.
Lizzie
Wait, what are you talking about?
Rylan
Then the sip is here and right now.
Lizzie
Right. Then how would we do it at the Whiz? What are you talking about? What is that?
Rylan
We leave this shed to go eat every day.
Lizzie
Yeah. So when are you talking about going? Because we could just pick up my baby. What are you talking about?
Rylan
Wait, we're taking your baby?
Lizzie
We? Yes, that's what I'm saying.
Rylan
Oh, my God. I can't do Universal two days in a row. I'll die.
Lizzie
Okay, you suggested it. Did he not suggest it. And then breast milkshake me. What the.
Rylan
I'm somebody that likes to think I like having fun. And then you think about it too hard, and it's like, oh, my God. Yeah.
Lizzie
Ryland wouldn't do anything if it wasn't for Shane, because Ryland talks himself through the logistics, and he's like, let's do nothing. And then Shane's like, shut up. We're doing something. You're like. He's like, okay, I'm getting in the car.
Rylan
I'm not a lazy girl.
Lizzie
I'm just like, he's a doomy girl. He's a doomy, gloomy girl when it comes to logistics.
Rylan
Oh, yeah, I'm practical, which isn't the most fun, I guess.
Lizzie
I don't know that he's practical. I think that he's like an Eeyore about, like, logistics.
Rylan
I think I'm pretty practical.
Lizzie
I wouldn't call that practical at all, girl. That's not practicality.
Rylan
Are you kidding me? It's spring break at Universal Studios Hollywood.
Lizzie
No, that's awful. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about, like, other things that I don't think I should talk about publicly.
Rylan
You know me. Why is that? Like, you're gonna.
Lizzie
You're gonna get in a fight? No, I just think that they're not. I think they're a secret. I think it's a secret. I don't know. It just feels like it's a secret. It's not my secret, though. That's why I'm not telling it.
Rylan
I didn't know it had secrets, but. Okay.
Lizzie
I don't think it's your secret either. Oh, I think it's someone else's secret, but I think you're in on the secret.
Rylan
Whoa.
Lizzie
Whatever.
Rylan
Oh, my God. All these secrets. No.
Lizzie
Look at me.
Rylan
Keeping the practical. Me would have seen the line just to get into the parking structure yesterday and been like, we can't do this. We can't do hard things like this. And I went, okay, and it was fun. And then we went to your house, and we had a great time. I think I really overdid it, though, because we are downing to one. We are going down to one nap right now because Jet's ready. Max is like, I can sleep whenever you want me to sleep. He's like, if you offer me a crib, I'm gonna sleep.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
Jet's like, I'm done. I'm done.
Lizzie
Oh, he wants to rage.
Rylan
He wants to rage. And so yesterday, Was our first unofficial one nap day because we were just out. And then we're like, I might as well just stay out. And we did, but I think we did one too many things. Cause we went to Universal. We went to your house and raged hard. And then we were like, let's go to dinner. And then they were being fine at dinner, but the people around us were being annoying at dinner, which I don't know how you have no shame around me. Yeah. Because you're always like, let babies be babies in public. And I'm like, yeah, that's fine until you have somebody being an. Yeah.
Lizzie
But it's like, I don't think that your babies are bad. So if someone.
Rylan
They're not bad, but they were, like, playfully. And excitement, like, hitting the table or being babies. It wasn't like crying. But the. The old man behind me was, like, having a mockery fit of my children.
Lizzie
Like, when you were reading him right.
Rylan
Play hit the. I was.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
He was annoyed.
Lizzie
So he was being an. There was a weirdo at the gym yesterday for swim class because they're remodeling the gym we usually go to, so we have to go to another one, which is in, like, the worst place imaginable. And it was like going to dumpster fire Narnia. Like you. We literally had to find a wardrobe in Glendale and get into it, and it was all black, moldy, and rusty, and. And then we go through this tunnel down to hell, and we get into this really, like, awful, cramped pool space, and there was a man wearing a weird Halloween mask on top of his head, not covering his face. And I was like, why the fuck is there a dude in the swimming pool wearing a Halloween mask on the top of his head? I was like, that's terrifying behavior in public, my guy. Like, that's something as adults we do not do because of the fucking way the world is now. And he's screaming from across the pool at the girl who runs our swim class, how many times are there going to be babies here now? And she's like, like, what? And he's like, how many times are there gonna be babies here? And I was like, go home, sir. What in the. If there's babies here, go ahead and assume that it's okay with the gym. We're here, and we've paid our dues. And if you have a problem with it, take it up with the person at the front desk and take your goddamn mask off, you weirdo. And then he. She was like, if you want to talk to me you can come over here. Do not scream at me from across the pool. And I was like, don't ask him to come over here. Are you stupid? There are children here. And this person is clearly out of their goddamn minds. And then he goes and throws his and like walks out. And I was like, bye, bye.
Rylan
I wish these people would have walked out.
Lizzie
And someone was rude to my nail girl's daughter the other day. And I wish I had said something to her. I wish I had said, that's a 12 year old girl and you're making me a 35 year old girl uncomfortable with your tone.
Rylan
I don't remember before having kids being a kid hater. I don't think I was.
Lizzie
No. Yeah, cuz they're fucking cute. And Billy's going like, he just learned how to raspberry. So yes, yesterday when we took him to dinner, he's like the whole time just looking at anybody who will look.
Rylan
At him and going, but who wouldn't find joy in that? If a baby was doing that to me, I'd do it back. Like, if I was three booths behind Billy, I'd be like, me too.
Lizzie
I'd be like into it. And he's also started just shouting, like, just going. And it's just because he's discovered his voice and he's not upset or anything. So like, when he shouts at home, I just shout, harmonize with him. And it's everything to me. I'm like, this is my son. This is what I was.
Rylan
We don't want to shut our baby's fun down. We don't want to yuck.
Lizzie
And I also don't want him to think like, oh, I shouldn't use my voice. Oh, you're right, I should shut the fuck up. It's like, no, I'm sure babies don't think that deeply, but I do. And I'm like, let me know, dude. Tell me everything you know. That's what I say. Hold finger guns at him and tell.
Rylan
Me all your secrets.
Lizzie
And he goes.
Rylan
And I go, my babies are super funny when we do something. Sometimes when they're taking it in and processing, they're quiet and observing. And then the second we get in the car from whatever the activity was, they're just screaming at each other. And Shane and I are always like, oh, they're recapping their day before we went to Universal. I was like, what do you think they're gonna do? He's like, what they always do. They're gonna observe and like, love it. And then they're Gonna tell each other what they have seen. And it is on our way to your house. They're both like, it's so cute. They have to recap the day.
Lizzie
You know, I was telling Joe's like talking my ear off and then Billy's in the back just like making a bunch of noise. And I'm just treating them both the same way, like, oh, yeah, Joe. Like, oh, y. Okay, that's cool. Joe keeps going like, oh, that's crazy. And I go to, oh, you don't say Bill. And that's. I'm listening to no one. Both of them are speaking gibberish to me and I'm just like. And then at one point I need to just tell Joe. I'm way too over stimulated for you to be getting into the granular details about editing right now. And I might kill this whole family if you don't stop it right now. And he's like, what? And I was like, I mean, it seems obvious to me. I've got a lot going on right now. You can't even pay attention to the directions. I don't give a fuck about anything you're saying and I have to sit here and pretend like I do because I don't want to hurt your feelings, but oh my God, dude, your husband.
Rylan
Loves a deep conversation about like.
Lizzie
But it's like, who gives a fly? I can't even repeat the words you said to me because it's about something that's never going to matter to me and I love you so much and I want you to be able to have conversations with people, but it's like, I'm not the one. I'm going to tell you what I told my good friend Chris. Get a fucking diary. Write it down.
Joe
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Rylan
Still can't believe it's St. Patrick's Day. Okay, so we're outlet girls now. Yeah, we live there.
Lizzie
We live there.
Rylan
We discovered the Camarillo outlets and wow, if you haven't been there, ooh wee.
Lizzie
Well, we'll be there.
Rylan
It provided a great time for both of us.
Lizzie
It was one of the best days I've ever had working with you.
Rylan
What?
Lizzie
Cause we were working.
Rylan
Oh, right. Everything's work.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
Okay. What about prioritizing your health?
Lizzie
I saw an Instagram reel that said, I don't want to wake up at 6:45 in the morning, but I want my child to see me working on myself as an individual or something. And it's like, do I wake up at 6:45 to go to the gym? Is that something I'm gonna do? No, no, but like, I should.
Rylan
It's a different breed of person.
Lizzie
If I think about it. Like, that's the only time I can really go and go and come home and be on time to feed him.
Rylan
Right.
Lizzie
And I think that it would be good for my mental health to have a routine that's like, functional. So it's like, Joe can't be spending 45 minutes making us breakfast in the morning. You know what I mean? So to streamline that, I, I, sorry, I'm vomiting in my mouth because I had too much water. Streamline that shit. I meal prepped breakfasts. I, like, found a recipe hack for the egg souffle bites from Starbucks and we made those this morning so I have them for the rest of the week so that he doesn't have to spend 45 minutes making me breakfast in the morning, like, while I'm taking care of the kids. So it's just all about, like, how do we streamline things in our lives? So that we can maximize the time we spend with the kid and both get our work done right. Without childcare help. Because I am still. I'm really struggling with the childcare thing.
Rylan
I thought you had found someone.
Lizzie
I know. I don't. I haven't pulled the trigger on it.
Rylan
I think you just.
Lizzie
I don't know that I can.
Rylan
I think it would be healthy for you too.
Lizzie
Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, I'm trying to find a healthy alternative to that, which is just like, how do I.
Rylan
But so much on your plate between running a household, working, being a parent, taking Billy to his activities. It's like you do. So, yes. Your. My answer for you is yes. Then if you're unwilling to have. Because I'm not saying, like, hire a full time nanny. I'm saying like three hours, like three days a week, just so you can execute.
Lizzie
That's nine hours.
Rylan
You are ridiculous.
Lizzie
I love it.
Rylan
Okay, whatever. Then you're your own problem.
Lizzie
Well, that's what I'm saying. So I think I do need to wake up at 6:45 in the morning. And then I'm just. Because no matter what, I am up. It's like, what am I doing scrolling in bed kissing Bobo. Like, I love kissing Bobo. But I should probably get my ass to the gym.
Rylan
Get your ass to the gym.
Lizzie
Okay, I'm gonna start.
Rylan
You'll feel so much better. I saw a lot. I've been listening. Well, okay, I've been listening to Khloe Kardashian's podcast.
Lizzie
Oh, my God. You're the one.
Rylan
I'm the one. First of all, I aspire to be these rich bitches. Oh, my God. Not just her, but Oprah. No, no, no. Let me tell you why.
Lizzie
Oh, I bet it's gonna make you more likable. For sure.
Rylan
I'm listening to Khloe Kardashian. I'm listening to Oprah. These women are so successful. So successful that they don't even have to read their own podcast ads. Somebody drops in, delivers a fully edited and read ad, and just drops it into their episode. Chloe's like, we can take a quick break. And it's just a random bitch doing a voiceover for, like, all of the ads that we do. No, and I do have a tip for her. She doesn't have that many ads in her podcast.
Lizzie
The reader of the.
Rylan
Which doesn't matter for her, right? Because I'm sure she got a huge upfront deal. Like, I'm sure she got like a $20 million upfront deal because of who she is. Yeah, but it's like, you should be dropping ads for your own brand mama. You know, like how I did for the Patreon. Like, she should be sitting down and being like, have you ever needed a good pair of jeans?
Lizzie
You know, by the way? So it doesn't matter. I want to go try on a pair of her jeans. She's got that pair of jeans that fits, like, up to 4 size and was like, that's kind of what I need right now.
Rylan
Okay. Do you want to do the ad read for her? They're never gonna work for us or never gonna do reeds.
Lizzie
Are you a postpartum mommy with a weight that's fluctuating because you're breastfeeding?
Rylan
You don't know how to drop it off? I think that you are the reason we do not get. We're like, the only podcast in the world that skims doesn't sponsor. Why?
Lizzie
I'm literally wearing skims right now.
Rylan
I have beef with them.
Lizzie
Then why am I the problem?
Rylan
Because.
Lizzie
What? Because I'm an ass?
Rylan
You've ruined our relationship with them. I don't know. I just talked about over the four.
Lizzie
Years, I said some nasty things about their children.
Rylan
I don't know.
Lizzie
Oh, my God, five seconds ago, me being like, let kids be kids. Unless they're Northwest, in which case she's gonna fight me like an adult. Okay, I'm kidding. Obviously, that's a joke.
Rylan
So, you know, I've been on a thong tour of America. I know they're braves. Whatever. I understand that a thong is a strap, a string. Okay? To me, they're thongs. They're too revealing. I get naked and I'm like, whoa, that's a lot. So I don't know how confident these guys are that are wearing thongs, but that's another story. Anyways, it's a sponsored ad because I've been shopping for my thongs. Skims thongs came up, and they're five out for men. Five out of five stars for the men. Lots of reviews. Fantastic.
Lizzie
Men love them.
Rylan
Men love them. And so I pull the trigger. It's been 10 days.
Lizzie
Not here yet.
Rylan
No update on the tracking in three days. And I'm like, oh, not again. I'm traumatized from the baby product that I already never received and I'm never gonna get back. I'm still emailing them, and they're like, well, you can pay to ship back to the uk. I'm like, no, no, just give me a refund or Send me the whatever that's behind us. But I still have that trauma.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
Of just, like, buying something and not having it delivered. And I know everyone hates Amazon, but they do me, right?
Lizzie
Do I?
Rylan
It's like they cancel the order, they immediately give me the refund, they immediately ship something back. They do me, right? And they've created a standard in shipping goods that I have come accustomed to.
Lizzie
Amazon does what the USPS could never. And it's like, you guys have had hundreds of years to dial this shit in. And what do I do? I go and I wait in a fucking line to talk to your grumpiest individual who's not going to be helpful to me as a millennial who has rarely sent things by post and doesn't know what the fuck I'm doing. And they're always like, what do you mean? It's like, can you just help me? Your fucking job. If you came on my podcast, I'd help you.
Rylan
And how much does it cost to get something shipped on Amazon? I don't know, $0 for us, for the consumer? I mean, if you have prime. $0?
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
I paid $7 to get these thongs shipped to my house.
Lizzie
Oh, my God.
Rylan
It's been nine days. When I go to the usps. What? UPS shipping. It says, we don't know where this is. Sender should start a claim. And so I go to the skims website and I'm like, hey, girl. This says start a claim. She's like, I had to wait, like, 10 minutes to get into a chat with a person. And then they're like, we can't do this for another two days. I hope you understand. I was like, I don't understand. And I don't want to wait another 10 minutes and go find the order number again and sit here.
Lizzie
I'll fight with you right now.
Rylan
My anniversary.
Lizzie
Break your bones right now, sis. I don't have another two days.
Rylan
And then she sends me the same AI thing. Like, thank you for understanding. And I started typing, I'm not being understanding. And then I deleted it. And I just exited out of the chat. So I was like, I don't need to do this today.
Lizzie
Well, there's so many things that I, like, don't want to buy online, but, like, that I'm forced to. Like, honestly, I love the kite baby sweep swaddle, but it's at the same time. Like, if you need the kite baby. Sweet.
Rylan
Swaddle, swaddle.
Lizzie
Order it in the size you're going to need in 15 years, because it's never coming because that's when it's going to get there. I love the Milky Mama products. I've been eating to help with my lock to keep my lactation up. That shit takes 29 days to get to my fucking house.
Rylan
The reason I executed.
Lizzie
They're called emergency brownies, bitch. Go ahead and assume I need them now.
Rylan
Also the reason I executed on skims. I thought their facility was here in Calabasas.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
And I see all these girls that live in Calabasas be like, the skin new skim strap came to me so fast. It's only been 24 hours. And it's here at my door.
Lizzie
Lies.
Rylan
And so I have been programmed to believe by all these influencers that live in my region. It comes in 24 hours. And we're nine days. All right.
Lizzie
That's a long time.
Rylan
And so I'm like, now I have to follow back up on my anniversary.
Lizzie
Oh, my God.
Rylan
When they're still gonna be lost.
Lizzie
Your anniversary?
Rylan
My anniversary. Nine years, Shane and I. Can you believe that?
Lizzie
Nine years.
Rylan
Nine years. That's it. Anyways, Chloe doesn't have to do her own ad reads, and she's not a bad conversationalist. A lot of times when people. Celebrities start podcasts, they just don't have the gift of Gap.
Lizzie
Huh.
Rylan
Chloe's good at it. She's not bad. And I listen.
Lizzie
Yapping. Is that what I listen to her.
Rylan
And her mom and I listened to her. I've never actually consumed anything to Mel Robbins, but I was like, okay, okay, just let them know.
Lizzie
Who is it?
Rylan
The let them lady who. Let them.
Lizzie
Let who?
Rylan
She tells everyone to let them. Who? But then I think there was a controversy where it seems like she took the. Took the. Let them.
Lizzie
What are you fucking.
Rylan
I don't know who this woman is. She just tells you to let them. If somebody's doing you wrong, just let them. If somebody's doing you right, just let them. If somebody's doing anything, you just let them. Yeah, okay.
Lizzie
Let them be weird. Yeah, yeah, No, I get that. I say that all the time, but I don't mean it like that. No, like they're gonna be difficult. Okay. Let them be difficult.
Rylan
She was just talking about how she turned her life around. And I see a lot of people even saying, like, oh, Ryland, I don't know how you're so productive. I was thinking about it and I was like, oh, my many responsibilities make it so I have to be productive. I don't really have a choice.
Lizzie
Well, that's. I think what people don't realize about life, it's like, and I was trying to do that this morning too. Like I'm trying to coach my mind into like being down with the 6:45 workout. Because it's like I deserve the 6:45am workout.
Rylan
And you were saying to me, like, oh, what am I doing sitting and scrolling on my phone? I'm like, like I don't get to sit on scroll on my phone because the second I open my eyes, my dogs know that my eyes are open and they're like, feed me now. So it's like I grab my phone and I go feed my animals the second I wake up. And then it's like the day started. Because a lot of, I've been hearing a lot of these people. Like you're by sleeping with your phone in the room, when you open it in the morning, you're letting the whole Internet into your bedroom and you're letting all of this into your bedroom and you're doing this and like, well then just stop looking at your phone. Yeah, but it's like, like I have to go walk my dogs and if I don't, they all act insane. So it's like I don't really have a choice. And if I didn't have these dogs, I wouldn't go on a 30 minute outdoor walk all the day. But these little things that I have to do actually end up saving me even when they annoy me or an inconvenience or when I have a crazy day and I'm like, I'm still gonna do this and carve this time out because I'm not gonna. Like I signed up to have three dogs. Yeah, I'm gonna give them a good life.
Lizzie
It's the just do it of it all. Like I'm always. That's what drives me crazy though. Like I'm a just do it. Or when it comes to my kids and I do say plural because I have a hard time just calling my dogs dogs because it seems like degrading. But I do. Like I do want the best for them, but why can't I just want the best for myself too? Like why don't I do you know what I mean? Like, why is it that my idea of chillin is self harm And I don't mean self harm in like a violent but it is brutal way, but it's like choosing to let to bedrot and scroll instead of doing something that makes me happy, fills my body with positive endorphins, makes me a more like agreeable Is not the right word, but, like, chills me the fuck out and makes me a better partner to everybody I'm around. Like, why wouldn't I want to do that? Instead, I open up something that makes me angry, makes me feel bad about myself, and robs my time in a way that does not fulfill.
Rylan
And then you're all worked up and you're, like, storing more of this negative energy when you could be going to the gym and letting it all go.
Lizzie
Yeah. And I can't sleep because I've been looking at a blue light. Like, what in the is this?
Rylan
It is. It's hard.
Lizzie
And I like the book I'm reading. Why don't I pick up the book I'm reading if I'm gonna do something rowdy in bed.
Rylan
Right.
Lizzie
Stupid. I deserve the gym at 6:45am I'm booking it right now.
Rylan
Yeah, go for it. See if I care.
Lizzie
Oh, no. Joe's been blowing me up. Oh, it's just photos. Oh, joke.
Rylan
Okay, do we have anything else to talk about? Did you put any Hot Topics in here for the day?
Lizzie
I put a couple Hot Topics in there, but, like, honestly, like, the world is kind of at peace right now.
Rylan
It's all a little Justin and Haley at Disney.
Lizzie
Yeah. With the kid Laroi and somebody else.
Rylan
Oh, not their kid.
Lizzie
No, just the kid, Laroi.
Rylan
Oh, okay.
Lizzie
Damn. What horrible news. The class that I would go to is at 6:20 and 6:25. What the.
Rylan
That's a little.
Lizzie
I'm gonna hold on. Booking it. I'm gonna hold on. How brutal is that? No, I'm gonna book it. I deserve this. I'm gonna do it right now.
Rylan
6:25.
Lizzie
No, girl, 6:20.
Rylan
You're sick.
Lizzie
Well, can we call Maddie, ask her when she goes to the gym?
Rylan
I'm sure it's that one because she goes to Orange Theory, too.
Lizzie
What a. No, it might be the 5:10.
Rylan
Wow. 5. There's a class at 5:10? You guys are.
Lizzie
Dude, I went to the 510 class for four days in a row.
Rylan
That's so I. It's a different breed of girl that can do that. Like, okay, I bucked it. Before you go work out.
Lizzie
No, I do have to before I work.
Rylan
So then you have to wake up.
Lizzie
Oh, my God. I literally at 6am every day because of the time change. Now this is cutting it close. It just said, see you then.
Rylan
You're up at six.
Lizzie
You know what's the most up thing about having a baby girl? I was at 5am like clockwork. Shane Sent me something to read. He's like, I know. You don't have very much time. It's like, actually, I do. I'm up at 5am every day. I can read this when I'm okay.
Rylan
Reese says it's okay to be weird. Reese Witherspoon?
Chris
Yeah.
Rylan
And that the best lesson she taught her kids, the choice to be normal or the choice to be weird. He should always choose to be weird. And that's okay. Okay and what?
Lizzie
Yeah. Told you it was a slow.
Rylan
So you have nothing to talk about?
Lizzie
Well, literally.
Rylan
Good job, Reese. Okay, let's get into some advice, though. You did the head tilt wrong. It's supposed to go out and we're supposed to come in.
Lizzie
I just wanted to go with supposed to unite. At least we were. We were united the whole way through.
Rylan
Okay.
Lizzie
That's how I saw it. Two birds on the same page.
Rylan
Gay co worker hooks up with a guy who has a girlfriend. Hide my Chris. Hide my what, Chris? Hide my pregnancy from my family.
Lizzie
Hide my pregnancy. Let's do it.
Rylan
You want to do that one? Okay. Can you read?
Lizzie
No.
Rylan
Because sometimes I don't know if I. Chris, what? Did you bring about that later?
Lizzie
No, it's on there now. Why, is it a waxing kit?
Chris
No, it's not important. I brought Lizzie a toast. That's all.
Lizzie
You brought us some toast?
Chris
Yeah.
Lizzie
Just toast and just. Lizzie, not to be ungrateful, you're just hungry.
Chris
Last time. And so I got myself food and I thought I'd get you a little toast. And it's just like.
Rylan
Where did you get this from?
Chris
Almond butter and banana and blueberries and strawberries.
Rylan
Is this from La La Land?
Chris
I don't know. It's from a place I go called Movita. Oh, that's all?
Rylan
Let me check the sweet. He's like, you're an angry bitch.
Lizzie
When I was a little girl, I was having a meltdown and my godmom was so stressed out about it, she just threw milk at me, hoping a drop would get in my mouth and I'd chill the fuck out.
Rylan
This was for you, but I'm taking a bite. Chia seeds. Fuck. Daddy.
Lizzie
I've already had so much bread today that I'm gonna. I might not take a bite, which.
Chris
Is not as good as La La Land. And it's almond butter, but I like it. I don't know.
Rylan
I think it is as good as. Well, it's the same thing.
Chris
Oh, okay. Okay.
Lizzie
I'm going to just move this a little bit.
Rylan
Why don't you Read while I have a bite of this.
Lizzie
Enjoy it. Okay. Rylan, Lizzy, and Chris, I love you all just the way you are. Never change for anyone. Okay, I need advice. My husband and I are talking about how we are ready to start our family and want to try for a baby. But if I'm going through the pregnancy, then I don't need our family's bad energy. Hard facts. Does it make us the to conceal pregnancy and birth? Holy. And just surprise them with a new family member? People do do that.
Rylan
Paris Hilton did that.
Lizzie
Yeah, well, let's not the not to appreciate a surrogate. Well, no. God bless Paris Hilton. I'm sure she's a great time. I don't know that her whole approach to.
Rylan
Oh, no. Okay.
Lizzie
Is something that people should like.
Rylan
We need to vibrate on a high frequency.
Lizzie
I'm vibrating on high frequency.
Rylan
We need to be the luckiest girls in the world. And I don't think that.
Lizzie
No, we're, like, absolutely the luckiest girls in the world. And, like, I'm not trying to detract from her, because it's like they say, like, haters are never ahead of you in line. And, like, obviously I'm behind Paris Hilton in line, but, like, aspirationally as a mother, she's not my model. Do you know what I mean? I actually might even say that even though I might care. Just stop.
Chris
Just stop.
Rylan
Just stop.
Lizzie
Just stop. Okay? I might be ahead of her in some lines is all I'm trying to say.
Rylan
You're ahead of most people when it comes to caring for other beings. I will give you that. I mean, you show up for people in your life, and not only people, your dogs and your baby in a crazy way. Like, that baby is enrolled in, like, 17 classes. And I'm like, relax, he loves it. I mean, I know, but, like, you don't even have a nanny.
Lizzie
I know, but, like, what am I gonna do with him? I can barely go to Universal Studios. Stupid. Like, we celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving. Oh, no, just.
Rylan
And a Muslim holiday.
Lizzie
And a Muslim holiday that I can't pronounce.
Rylan
It's better. She even saved us by saying in parentheses, a Muslim holiday. Because we're not gonna butcher the name. I just said we're not gonna. I just said we're not gonna butcher the name.
Lizzie
Well, we didn't.
Rylan
Okay, come on.
Lizzie
I did. And we do Halloween with our nephews, so we see family often through the year. And I want our baby to be around family, but for our first pregnancy birth, we just don't like being told what, when and how to do things. Hard facts, girl. What would yalls advice be on how to handle the situation? Of course. We are not pregnant yet, so feel free to be unserious again. Love you guys so much. I have a lot of thoughts on this.
Rylan
Chris, thank you so much. Lizzie's gift was incredible.
Lizzie
Honestly, I think it was good for him to eat because he's awful when he's hungry. So I will say this. There is nothing in this world like your first pregnancy. I was thinking about it this morning.
Rylan
And let me tell you. Nothing. Nothing.
Lizzie
I'm got chills thinking about it.
Rylan
Me too. My first pregnancy. It brings me back.
Lizzie
No, you had a similar experience. You don't have to be pregnant to be expected.
Rylan
I'm just being nasty because I can't be pregnant.
Lizzie
No, I'm talking about being.
Rylan
Or maybe I can.
Lizzie
Well, being. Being pregnant itself isn't magical for everyone. It hurts, it's gross, it's a hard, weird thing.
Rylan
But that's why. If your family's exhausting, why add another layer? Sorry.
Lizzie
Yeah, that's what I mean. Like. Like with your family. But the other part of it is there is nothing in the world like this time. And you are never gonna have a second time like this. This is the only time that you have the joy and excitement of expecting without having another child that you're already caring for. And I've never done that. But I. I know in my heart that's probably also magical and nothing like it in the world. But to be expecting for the first time is a uniquely interesting time. And if you choose to be positive around can be really awesome. Like when you were expecting. I feel like we bucket listed the shit out of life.
Rylan
Like, oh my gosh. Yeah, because you had. You weren't pregnant yet and I knew that my life was going to change, especially with twins. And we really.
Lizzie
We did the damn thing. We did. We.
Rylan
Everything. Yeah, that was the best year up.
Lizzie
To the week you had the fucking babies. Like we were out there gigging and like when. When I had my baby, like when I was pregnant and expecting, it's just like for the first time you don't take for granted these moments. Like, I'm a crier, so I cried a lot. But it's like I. Like this time with my dogs was so special and so beautiful. This time with my dad, like spending time with my dad when I was pregnant was so crazy because I just kept thinking to myself, like, I'm his baby, but soon I'm going to have my own baby. So am I still. Do I still get to be somebody's baby? Does that make sense? I don't know. It's a lot of weird shit, but I can't fathom excommunicating a family from that experience. But I don't have a super controlling family.
Rylan
You had to set boundaries. And even if that was friends, like you had to set certain boundaries. Like, I mean, we even had certain conversations because it's like if somebody is entering your space in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. It's like when there's so much on the line. Yeah, it is. Like if that's what you feel like you have to do to stay sound. Yeah, you've got to do it.
Lizzie
And people will say stress is a killer. And you know, I've said that you never truly comprehend how much damage stress, stress does to your body until you're pregnant. Because when I was pregnant, when I would get enraged or stress the out beyond control, my body immediately reacted and I was having like gnarly, weird contractions all the time. Like being stressed while pregnant is actually very dangerous. And then there's other elements to it too, where it's like, like if you're sad or depressed or angry or whatever, like baby feels what you're feeling in sort of like a telekinetic way. And I don't know if that's a hundred percent true or some just like woo woo witch doctor. But it's like I, I felt that like I, I used to have I and I still do make promises.
Rylan
Your body's intense while you're growing up. Being. There's no way that it can't, the energy can't be transferred in some sort of way.
Lizzie
But it was crazy. Like I would get stressed out and immediately my stomach would get rock hard and I would have Braxton hit Hicks contractions until I breathed myself out of it and got calm. So if your family brings you an incredible amount of stress, absolutely you do not have to include them. But this also wants me, I want to circle back to the Chloe thing of let them. People can tell you what they think, people can tell you what they did, people can quote, tell you what to do. Let them. You don't have to do any of those things. None of that has to be your business. And if you want to include these people in your life, you can disassociate while they're saying dumb to you.
Rylan
But you also know yourself. And if you can't let them, like if you get worked up by them being them. Yeah, because, like, there are certain things where I really don't care. Like, people can talk about me on the Internet and it really doesn't bother me. But, like, you can say something specifically that might not even sound hurtful, but it has to do with kids, and it will strike a chord with me.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
Because it's, you know.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
So it's like, you know, your boundaries, and if they're a boundary for you, but you also have to prepare that, like, for their reaction. Like, if you're just like, here's your baby, it might be jolting and it might cause a lot of tension and drama and chaos in your life when you have a newborn. So you've also got to consider, like, when is the best time for you.
Lizzie
I also loved getting to share moments of my pregnancy with my family. I loved doing a gender reveal with my family and with you and with you guys and I. And to have not got to not get to do that doesn't feel like I, I, it doesn't feel like the biggest slice of life.
Rylan
Right.
Lizzie
And I always want the biggest slice. So if you're, I would weigh the pros and cons. Like, do I get to experience these milestones of life with my family? And does do these milestones of life bring me enough joy to outweigh their crazy lack of boundaries? And also, people can disrespect your boundaries. That's fine. That's why you have the boundaries. They're for you. So people can say, well, blah, blah, blah. It's like, no, actually, this is my boundary. And if you don't respect it, these are the consequences of your behavior. And you don't even have to articulate that to them. You just start acting that way for yourself. And the more you act that way for yourself, there's like a Pavlovian effect where it, it stops coming at you the way that they want to bring it to you because they learn they don't get a response for the behavior.
Rylan
Yeah. And I also think maybe there's a world in which you can talk to them prior to all of this and try to set boundaries up front or expectations up front so it doesn't feel like you're hiding the secret or you're lying even though it's not, it's not lying. It's just protecting yourself. But if it were me, it would be important to include my family in some way. So if my family were in, if my family members didn't make me feel great, I would probably try to have a conversation beforehand to prep Them of what my boundaries would be if I got pregnant.
Lizzie
You also can't control people. People are going to people, and they're going to people at you. So if it's not even worth it to you to have that conversation, you don't have to have that conversation.
Rylan
Yeah, we don't know your situation.
Lizzie
Yeah, but you. You make these decisions with yourself. These are all things that you do internally with yourself, and you enforce them for yourself and you protect yourself.
Rylan
But you know what? Not with kids, but with Shane and I getting married, we did it.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
We didn't tell anyone until after it was done. We decided, we went. And then it's like, you guys have to deal with it on your own. And I didn't care what their reactions were. Like, we didn't tell anyone we were getting married. We just went to the courthouse and got married. And afterwards we sent photos and said, we're married.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
And it's like, oh, no.
Lizzie
I remember I cried.
Rylan
I didn't care about the reaction because it was for me.
Lizzie
Yeah. But I will say, like. Like, even in that moment, like, you guys just getting married at a courthouse, when you sent me that update, my feelings weren't hurt that I wasn't included. My feelings weren't hurt at all. I just had an elated, excited feeling.
Rylan
Which I think a healthy relationship would.
Lizzie
Yeah. So, you know, you can. You can choose to do these things independently, and there might even be, like, wonderful, magical things about having this nine months with just your partner where it's just you guys knowing, but also it's like. Like, you are going to need help. You are going to need help. And if you do not invite people in to help you, who help you in a way you want to be helped. Like, I know very specifically who can help you, who can help me, and I know who. I feel like I'm so lucky in that my dad unconditionally loves me, even while I'm being the biggest. And he even made it a point to tell me while I was pregnant. Like, I love you so much. This is gonna be fucking awful. You're gonna be a. You're gonna lose yourself in this moment. And I was like, okay. Like, calm down. But every and everything he said was true. And he's like, and I will love you, and I will help you. And he's. And it's. And it's. I also know, like, and I will screw up, and I will help you in a way that's not helpful. And I will do all of these things, but no matter What? I will love you. And for me, that's what I needed. I needed to know that there were people who loved me and could handle me in the and that aren't going to stress more and are not going to stress me out more.
Rylan
And if you want more of that relationship, you're starting a podcast. This is, like, very seamless. I didn't even plan this.
Lizzie
Yeah, well, now I gotta really start the podcast. But no, my dad and I are starting a parenthood, a parenting podcast called oh, yeah, dad. Where a dad and a grandpa and a mom and a daughter, her and her dad. Me and my dad discuss all things.
Rylan
Parenthood, and that lives on your channel.
Lizzie
I think it's gonna live on my channel for now because I don't know how to start another channel.
Rylan
Okay, well, and your other. Your second channel wouldn't be monetized. But then you have to be worried about, like, because typically less people watch a podcast than we watch vlogs. So then is it gonna take away from your vlog? It's confusing. We'll think about it.
Lizzie
We'll think about it.
Rylan
We'll think about it.
Lizzie
But I did just get fancy. Like, I got this stuff and I got headphones and I got that board and my. I just have to ship it to my dad.
Rylan
And you have graphics made.
Lizzie
I have graphics. Well, we didn't finish the graphics yet.
Rylan
Is this he close to finishing our graphics?
Lizzie
Yeah, I have.
Rylan
I told him we're gonna see you guys in a minute. Bye. Today's podcast is sponsored by SeatGeek.
Joe
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Rylan
Oh.
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Rylan
Okay, here we are.
Lizzie
No, we're going to 7 11.
Rylan
I told you you were gonna hate it. Are you rolling? Sound rolling speed. Okay. Actually make sure we're rolling.
Lizzie
I don't know.
Rylan
We've honestly run out of things and people haven't put out new menu items for a lot. Wow, what's this person gonna do?
Lizzie
Let's just go to McDonald's. What is this?
Rylan
No, it says on their front door hungry question mark.
Lizzie
No, no, not hungry. Hungry question mark. Cuz we don't have real food.
Rylan
Well, yeah, we're gonna try all of their ready made.
Lizzie
If you're hungry, don't come here.
Rylan
Here. Oh, they have bigger slices. Oh good. You don't like a 711 Slurpee?
Lizzie
No, I don't like any Slurpees, bro. They're all gonna kill me.
Rylan
Okay, cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Well, we're gonna go in there and see what's going on.
Lizzie
Can I get a beanie? Can I try, like their accoutrement?
Rylan
Yeah, of course.
Lizzie
Okay, I'm excited.
Rylan
Okay, we're testing everything at 7:11. What the happened to you?
Lizzie
Did you see that?
Rylan
No. How come it's always your elbow? And how come it happens every day?
Lizzie
Burning up my arm to my hand? It's never happened before.
Rylan
Wait, is this not focused?
Lizzie
You showed me out of focus that I look nicer. Wait, was it soft?
Rylan
Is this out of focus? Oh, is my hair looking bad?
Lizzie
Quick, keep it out of focus.
Rylan
Okay, here we go.
Lizzie
Here we go.
Rylan
Here we go, Here we go.
Lizzie
Did you bring your wallet? Did you bring your wallet?
Rylan
I was just, you know.
Lizzie
No, you put it in your mouth. You don't lick it like that. Did you bring your wallet?
Rylan
I was doing a favor for all the women that are watching. Yeah, I brought my wallet. Who do you think I am? You prove it. Look at him in the wild.
Lizzie
I'm gonna make the nachos.
Rylan
Suddenly you're interested?
Lizzie
I'm gonna make the nachos is all.
Rylan
I said, suddenly she's interested. Chris, look at it. They even have a St. Patrick's Day donut. We've got to get that. Oh, God, she's going in. She's not kidding.
Lizzie
When I said I'm gonna make the nachos, I meant I was cooking the nachos.
Rylan
You're a girl, your word.
Chris
Wait, what are we getting? Oh, my God, just anything.
Lizzie
Health queen.
Rylan
Yeah, we're going to try like gluten.
Lizzie
Free corn chips made with whole grain, 100% stone ground mesa.
Rylan
And what can we say about their cheese?
Lizzie
100% hot chili cheese.
Rylan
Check this out.
Lizzie
No. Check this.
Rylan
Chris, check this out.
Lizzie
Chris, check this out. No.
Rylan
Chris, check this out.
Lizzie
I'm so serious. Check this out. Hey, Chris, come. Just because one of us pays you and one of us does, it doesn't mean you should listen to the other one.
Rylan
Hey, Chris, check this out.
Lizzie
Chris, tell them it's fine.
Rylan
Check her out.
Lizzie
I'll drink a brief layer of cheese.
Rylan
Oh, wait, that looks good. We're gonna do chili jalapenos. How do you say it?
Chris
Between mesa and jalapenos.
Rylan
I'm dying, Masa. Who's saying that? What is that?
Lizzie
It's corn.
Rylan
Oh, okay.
Lizzie
So if you notice this is gonna be shut. You're gonna up. I'm making the nachos.
Rylan
This is very vlog friendly. No copyright music.
Lizzie
Listen.
Rylan
Look at the subway top with the logo.
Lizzie
Why are you listening to him all the time? It's like he employs you or something. Back off. I did a layer of cheese. I did a layer of chili, and then I did a. A second layer of cheese.
Rylan
Put the lid on it so it stays nice and warm.
Lizzie
I'm not done yet.
Rylan
This is the best episode we've ever had. Thank you for the extra jalapenos. I'm going to try this Peach perfect. Looks delicious. Shackalicious. And gummy bears.
Chris
Shaq has a thing.
Rylan
I guess so. Okay, Let me get a couple smalls.
Lizzie
I added the gelat panjur and the pico de gako. Is it.
Rylan
I think it's great.
Lizzie
I'm just trying to roll my arms.
Chris
Oh, my God.
Lizzie
Listen.
Chris
Whoa.
Lizzie
The pico looks fresh to them.
Rylan
So I got peach perfect. And the shack collab.
Lizzie
You know, people said I'm peach perfect.
Rylan
Look at this neon color. Like, that's crazy.
Chris
One of our. One Monterey Jack chicken taquita for.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
You actually eat this, right?
Chris
I used to. I tried. I try not to anymore.
Rylan
Try these first so that I can try them too. Peach perfect. Would you call it perfect?
Chris
Oh, it's a little tart. It's a little. I like it. I like it a lot. I like a tart. A little bitterness to my sweet.
Rylan
And then this is Shaq's collab.
Lizzie
I'm gonna try the strawberry banana body armor because I've heard it's good for lactation.
Chris
Shaxx is good.
Lizzie
The strawberry banana.
Chris
Next is a lot.
Lizzie
The strawberry one?
Rylan
No, it's gummy bears. It's like sour gummy bears. I love that. For Shaq, that's. Wow. Lizzy's taking care of us. I'm trying the one you like the most. I forgot about a Slurpee straw. Are you kidding me?
Lizzie
Awesome.
Rylan
Take it.
Lizzie
Wow. You grab your own taquitos here.
Rylan
Wow. That is good. I'm going in for peach.
Chris
I'm all over the place.
Rylan
The peach is a little dull.
Chris
A little dull.
Rylan
It's subtle. You get the peach.
Chris
I think Sha is so intensely flavorful.
Rylan
It's a collab with Shaq.
Lizzie
Calm down.
Chris
This Jack's is better though, right?
Lizzie
Some of us didn't know.
Chris
What?
Lizzie
St. Patrick's Day. Some of us didn't know Shaq had a collab.
Rylan
Try Shaq's Elizabeth, what would you rate.
Chris
Them out of ten?
Rylan
I would give the Shaq a nine. This is Shaq.
Lizzie
I don't want to drink that. Why is it neon?
Rylan
You won't Drink, daddy girl.
Lizzie
I'm doing a lot today for my body. Why is it neon?
Rylan
I don't know.
Lizzie
Okay, slurp it and then spit it into your mouth instead of adjusting it.
Rylan
No. Then. Then she doesn't deserve it. If she doesn't deserve it.
Lizzie
Did you betting just catch me accidentally getting my hair in the toes.
Rylan
Then she doesn't deserve it.
Chris
I don't know.
Lizzie
Did I tell him I got my hair in the to? Is this my Ariana Grande moment?
Rylan
Like, how do I.
Chris
No, it wasn't intentional.
Lizzie
Oh, but I have to tell them, right?
Rylan
Is my heart grand moment?
Lizzie
It is. I keep going down my cur. She never recovered from that. She's having the worst career ever.
Rylan
She's doing the best ever. This.
Lizzie
This is my Ariana Grande moment.
Rylan
Should we go get the real vlog? I'm worried about the sound. I'm very worried about the sound.
Lizzie
Should we just redo all of this? Do you want to just go back to one and throw any?
Chris
Are we going in the car so much?
Rylan
It's beautiful. I don't know that this is a donut holder, but today it is.
Chris
What did you get?
Rylan
Both pizzas, so I don't know what they were. And I'm going to get the tacos. I'm not going to eat this, but if you want some, you can have some.
Chris
Oh, I'm okay.
Rylan
Thank you. I will say the Slurpee and aging well in my mouth. Look, the like aftertaste is a little.
Lizzie
I got 711 nails. Do I have a collab with 7 11? Is this part of my Ariana Grande glory?
Rylan
Oh, watch out, Elizabeth.
Lizzie
Also, everyone, I need you to know I told the man about the tongs and he replaced them with clean ones.
Chris
Yes, she did. She did the right thing.
Lizzie
I might not drink fluorescent yellow Slurpees, but I do do the right thing sometimes.
Rylan
Is the aftertaste not bothering you? It's lingering in a weird way. It is lingering.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
I just want to tell you girls, PETCO has a new logo.
Lizzie
Oh my God, they do.
Rylan
That's wild.
Lizzie
Can you thumbnail with your nasty ass Slurpees so that we can have room for other.
Rylan
Should we go into the new Petco too?
Lizzie
Oh, no. I want nothing there.
Rylan
Oh, where do you get your pet stuff?
Lizzie
I think PETCO is the devil and about to say.
Chris
Oh.
Rylan
Can you not pick up more things?
Chris
Two take one common mark.
Lizzie
Such a bitch.
Chris
Second pick.
Rylan
I'm trying to do my husband proud. You know, I will say the Slurpees are not Aging well in my mouth. Chris seems fine though.
Chris
They.
Rylan
Whoa.
Chris
I was like, what's happening here? There's two. That's why I felt crazy.
Lizzie
Will you put my glasses on my head?
Rylan
Oh, yeah, I will. Do you want me to put your. Do you want me to, like, get the hair back with it? Yeah. Oh. Haha. That is so hot. You are so hot. I love it when she thumbnails with her carcinogens. Is that what they're called?
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
Okay, Chris, so I.
Lizzie
Can we talk about what I did for a minute, please? So I made.
Rylan
How's the lighting look?
Lizzie
Not great.
Rylan
Are you kidding me?
Lizzie
Can you see?
Rylan
Let's jump into the nachos. You didn't thumbnail with those. You just got your hair.
Lizzie
I said, look at what I did.
Rylan
That is your hair.
Lizzie
It is. I'm not gonna deny it.
Chris
I've never seen nachos look that good come out of 7 11.
Lizzie
You're welcome.
Rylan
You really crafted them well.
Chris
Thank you.
Rylan
I will say.
Lizzie
And they're gonna be perfectly soggy now.
Rylan
See, because we were honestly afraid of our for our lives eating outside of shake.
Lizzie
It's not good, but it's good.
Chris
You know, they're hard to prevent.
Lizzie
Yeah, they're soggy. Do you want a fork crack?
Chris
I guess, maybe kind of got something.
Rylan
Wow.
Chris
May I have a napkin, please?
Lizzie
No.
Chris
Oh.
Rylan
That is crazy. And their jalapenos are good.
Chris
There is something about, like, really fake bad nacho cheese that I love.
Lizzie
Yeah, I second that.
Rylan
If I can get down here where they're not. Oh, there's some non soggy ones down below. Can I get this to get some toppings on?
Chris
It's almost like nostalgic to me for some reason.
Lizzie
It's like I'm right back in the movie theater I used to work in.
Chris
Thank you.
Rylan
It's like hope has been restored and Lizzie and I get along again.
Lizzie
It's like we were never bitches to each other.
Rylan
You guys missed it. On the after sip. She was just screaming, like having a full blown toddler meltdown about the fact how I was going in the direction of the Container Store, which is where we're going on the after sip. And then I just don't respond to her because I'm not gonna like, encourage her. I'm not gonna encourage the bad behavior. And then I said, once you could see the Container Store sign, I said, look up. And then she was like, oh, okay.
Chris
So you knew the whole time and that's why you didn't acknowledge it.
Rylan
She did not know. Oh, I knew. Well, yeah, of course. I know my neighborhood. I'm not.
Lizzie
I did it for the optics.
Rylan
Sure. Yeah, of course.
Lizzie
I felt like the aftership needed something. Can someone open this? It's a big boy. It's a big, strong boy. Well, thanks, Daddy. Well, all we needed were these nachos.
Rylan
The nachos are incredible.
Chris
Yeah.
Rylan
Let's circle back to them. Let's take a bite of this hot.
Lizzie
Well, it's like. I can't.
Rylan
We don't have a knife in here. Huh?
Lizzie
They wouldn't give me a knife at the 7:11 because I felt like I was too risky.
Rylan
Dang. Well then maybe Chris can tear it apart with his hands. I don't care if.
Lizzie
No, there's an extra fork. I can cut it in half with a fork.
Rylan
You can do that? Yeah.
Lizzie
I've been to prison.
Rylan
Show the show the people how many.
Lizzie
Things to shank if you stab with it.
Chris
I mean, I can just take a bite.
Rylan
No, Chris, you want an entire piece and we know it.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
I think these are like buffalo chicken mozzarella sticks. You can have a whole one.
Lizzie
Oh, my God.
Rylan
If there's not a fool, though, I'm all right.
Chris
There's no pull.
Rylan
Oh, it's chicken. I don't know. It's chicken or is it cheese?
Lizzie
I don't know.
Rylan
When you can't tell if it's chicken, I feel like there's a little bit of a problem if you can't tell if it's chicken or cheese.
Chris
You think after taking a bite, I still can't tell?
Lizzie
No, I think it's chick. No, not after that. Hold on. You might get a little bit of fork in your hot dog.
Rylan
So. You can't cut a hot dog with a fork.
Lizzie
Riddle me this, brother.
Rylan
If there's something about me, it's that I fuck with a gas station hot dog. I know they've got to be disgusting, but they're good.
Lizzie
One thing about me is I also fuck with a hot dog. Any, any kind.
Rylan
If it's from the Dodgers game when.
Chris
I was really, really, really, really hurting for money. For a while there, Seven Eleven had like, I don't know, four or five dollar massive pizzas that would last me all day. And like, I would do that sometimes. I know it's really bad for you, but.
Lizzie
And that's where he got the gerd.
Rylan
Are they good? The pizzas? Well, I guess we're gonna find out.
Chris
I used to love them.
Rylan
The hot dog is good. And you're wrong if you say, oh, okay, then I'm finishing it.
Lizzie
I had a Costco dog yesterday.
Rylan
Are the Costco dogs good? Mm. Did we have those? I can't even remember anymore.
Lizzie
Maybe.
Chris
And they've never raised up in price, right?
Rylan
Never.
Chris
I think that's, like, their whole thing.
Rylan
Is, like, day one.
Chris
I think he refuses to change the price of it.
Rylan
Maybe at some point, but good for him. A lot of you are going to bat for how great the management or, like, the higher ups at Costco are. I'm not saying it's not a great corporation to work for. I'm saying it's an awful corporation to shop, clientele.
Lizzie
They're the real animals.
Rylan
It's like me and the people. You are the problem. You know what? That perfectly sums it up. You're gonna run into Lizzies at Costco. She's the type that. That's her frequent store. And that's the problem.
Lizzie
Listen, I'm not gonna fight with you.
Rylan
Like, I. No, no. I love you.
Lizzie
And I know I'm choosing peace. I'm eating some nachos that are really gonna make me feel bad later, but I love them.
Rylan
I know you, and I love you, but, like, the use that I don't know, I don't want to encounter at a grocery store.
Lizzie
Well, that's gnarly. Mm. Pizza.
Rylan
You don't tear them in half, so you can have half. And we're not afraid of your germs. Those nachos are crazy good. Yeah.
Lizzie
They make me. Oh, my God.
Rylan
And here's something I want to tell you.
Lizzie
What?
Chris
Here, I got a piece.
Rylan
I don't think they're. They would have been as good if the maker wasn't so good.
Lizzie
Thank you.
Chris
Yes, totally.
Rylan
You really did that. This pizza is so greasy. Gets sick.
Lizzie
The maker wasn't so good.
Rylan
I do not like this.
Lizzie
I'm not going to eat it. Do you see it? It looks bad.
Rylan
It's just like. All it is is grease. This one looks fine.
Lizzie
That's a lie.
Rylan
I don't have anywhere to put this. Oh, we put it on the nacho lid. Let me get a piece of the meat.
Lizzie
Oh, you're so brave.
Rylan
This one's good. I do not like the cheese pizza.
Chris
I like this one.
Rylan
This one's good. The supreme is good.
Chris
This is like. It's all bad, you know, gas station food. But for me, it's nostalgic. All of it.
Lizzie
It's nostalgic for me as well.
Rylan
The. But the cheese pizza is just bad.
Chris
Yeah, I'm gonna get a bite of it.
Rylan
It wasn't nostalgic to me. It was just bad.
Lizzie
I also feel like it wasn't as up 20 years ago when we were eating it in college. And when I say college, I mean high school. I'm not.
Rylan
I see all the Instagram reals.
Lizzie
Oh, my God, am I that old one was college?
Rylan
I don't know.
Lizzie
It's been over 12 years.
Rylan
I see all the Instagram.
Lizzie
Don't you see it's been over 12 years?
Rylan
Don't you see all the. I know. We're too old for Love is Blind? We've discovered how old we are. Don't you see all the Instagram rules that are like, we. It's fine. We ate that as a kid. And then the next site's like, actually, no, you didn't. Yeah, it shows you how they've changed.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Chris
Oh, so it really has changed.
Rylan
The ingredients are. Yes.
Lizzie
Like, yes on capitalism. I have a love hate relationship with because I love the freedom of choice, but I wish that they would stop trying to kill me.
Rylan
Okay, this one's good. This one is good.
Chris
Honestly, the cheese is not good, but I like it.
Rylan
That's fine. You're allowed to like it.
Chris
Oh, my gosh.
Rylan
There's something. There's two other things we haven't tried. Why'd you get four of those?
Lizzie
Because there's two different flavors. One's for Chris and one's for us.
Rylan
Oh, okay. Look it out for us. Okay. Are the top two the same? Okay, Chris, what is. What are these called? Taquitos.
Chris
Wait, which one?
Rylan
I think to the top. Yeah, the one closest to you.
Chris
Thank you.
Lizzie
And then take a bottom one. Correct.
Rylan
Oh, then we have. Just eat that one first, and we'll eat the bottom one first. I'm assuming they're the same if they were next to each other.
Lizzie
Yeah. So this is different. That's different.
Rylan
Oh, you did. Like, tears were the same instead. Oh, both.
Lizzie
I was keeping it organized.
Rylan
No, no, our brain's just organized different. Had I were to do that, I would have done the two that are the same on the bottom and the two that were the same on the top.
Chris
We'll rip them and forgot everything now. Rylan would be like, no.
Rylan
Oh, no. We have. Everyone has their own. Okay, this one's cheese and chicken.
Lizzie
This one's, I think, jalapeno popper.
Rylan
Oh, I'm gonna. Where. Where are we starting?
Chris
Cheese and cheese and chicken.
Rylan
Oh, cheese and chicken. Cheers.
Lizzie
I'm sick.
Rylan
This is sick. And it's, like, cold inside. Don't do it.
Chris
Don't do it.
Rylan
I regret it.
Chris
What's the other one?
Rylan
Oh, this one's okay because it's, like, just cream cheese and jalapeno.
Lizzie
Do you know what I'm gonna make for dinner one night this week?
Rylan
This one's good.
Lizzie
Jalapeno popper chicken. Say that three times fast.
Rylan
Jalapeno popper chicken. Jalapeno popper chicken. Jalapeno popper chicken.
Lizzie
Yes. It was easier than I thought.
Rylan
Yep. Simple.
Chris
This one's good.
Rylan
That one is good. Yeah.
Chris
Okay, go for the cream cheese one.
Rylan
What I'm gonna tell you girls.
Lizzie
Is it a secret?
Rylan
I don't think so.
Lizzie
Oh, what are you gonna tell?
Rylan
Although you were acting like I had a secret earlier, and I'm really curious to know, but I don't.
Lizzie
You weren't gonna tell me where we were going?
Rylan
No, no. On the podcast, I'm not sure I'm allowed to tell your secrets.
Lizzie
No, I'm not allowed to. It's not your secret either.
Rylan
I wish I knew.
Lizzie
You do know, but you don't know. You know.
Rylan
Okay, I'm just being honest.
Lizzie
Oh.
Rylan
I was very excited by the aesthetics of the donut. And then when I picked it up to put it in the bag, I can tell it's stale.
Lizzie
Do you want, Grandma?
Rylan
Well, I'm gonna take a bite too.
Chris
Oh, my word, it looks pretty.
Rylan
I'm not a quitter. Okay, let me show you girls. What's going on?
Lizzie
I need to quit these nachos.
Rylan
Wow.
Chris
I can quit here.
Rylan
Oh, actually, here. Let's see if we can get a clean break. Chris, let's see if we can work together and get a clean break. Oh, my God. Shut up. Shane. Get out of here. Shane. Go away.
Chris
It just flew back like shrapnel.
Rylan
Have you ever had a donut where the cream just falls off?
Lizzie
Don't put it in my nach.
Rylan
Well, no, I'm making it so you don't want to eat all of them, because then I'm gonna have to deal with how sick you are.
Lizzie
That doesn't change anything for me with nachos. I'm out of control with nachos.
Rylan
Oh, my God.
Lizzie
Stop it.
Rylan
What do you want me to do, have it fall in the car?
Lizzie
Yeah. It's not my car. These are my nachos.
Rylan
It's not bad.
Chris
I was gonna say it's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be.
Rylan
Wow. It's actually good. Oh, it's not as stale as I thought it was either.
Lizzie
Maybe it'll be good in the nachos.
Chris
I kinda like it. I might be into it.
Lizzie
Why is the frosting so thick and.
Chris
Explode when you try?
Rylan
Okay, it's good.
Lizzie
When I worked at the movie theater, and then I quit to go to college, I stole a gallon bag of the nacho cheese and I ate it until it was gone.
Chris
Whoa.
Lizzie
I also signed my resignation note with a nacho cheese kiss.
Chris
Did you really?
Lizzie
Yeah. And then I would come back and work some shifts after I went to college. And then one time, I got too blackout drunk while closing, and they never put me on the schedule again. I wasn't officially fired, just never rehired.
Rylan
Was it with their alcohol? No.
Lizzie
I wonder where I got the alcohol.
Rylan
Okay, the donut was a huge surprise.
Lizzie
Oh, I'm sick.
Rylan
I told myself, you're not that excited about the concept, so just take a bite and move on. I didn't do that.
Lizzie
Look at me.
Chris
You guys destroyed the nachos.
Rylan
You guys, I destroyed the donut. I think my favorite here was actually.
Lizzie
The donut over my nachos.
Rylan
Well, the nachos were good.
Chris
I think that was the best, if I'm being honest. The nachos were really good.
Lizzie
I ate the whole thing. Like, literally. There's one more chip, and I'm about to eat it.
Rylan
All right, you guys. Well, I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Sip. Let us know if you like these gas station episodes. I stopped doing Gassed Up Daddies on my actual vlog. So maybe this is like a fun, small version of that. Just don't worry about it.
Lizzie
What are we doing at the container store, girl?
Rylan
What? You've been wanting to go to the container.
Lizzie
Are we just going because we have to go or what are we doing there? Like, what's the plan?
Rylan
We're going because we have to go and we're gonna film it. For what?
Lizzie
For fun. Where's it going?
Rylan
Oh, on the after.
Lizzie
So this episode.
Rylan
Yes. Do you think we have enough footage? What are you. Are you. Hello? What?
Lizzie
Listen, I've had a lot of nachos. I can't be. I don't feel that anymore.
Rylan
Your boobs look incredible.
Lizzie
I look pregnant again.
Rylan
Are you?
Lizzie
I would give anything to be. I saw this really funny reel on Instagram where she's like, all right, girls, what are we gonna do? Are we gonna get right for summer? Are we gonna have two? 202? And it's like, let's have 202. No, I'm going to the gym. At 6, 20 in the morning.
Rylan
Okay. All right.
Lizzie
Because moms Deserve schedules, too.
Rylan
Thank you guys for watching and supporting our show. Thank you so much. We love you very much. Everyone's information is linked in the description section below.
Lizzie
Yeah. Now, see, I want you all to see. This is it.
Chris
Okay.
Lizzie
No one's okay.
Chris
Shout out my vlog. Yes, I work. Worked super hard on a vlog. Like, it's literally years in the making.
Lizzie
What if we said, no, Chris? No, Chris, that's okay. Tell us about your vlog.
Chris
But I don't know. I'm really excited about it. I've never worked harder on a vlog. It's the day after this. Thursday, tomorrow after this airs.
Rylan
Yeah.
Chris
Yeah. I don't know. I hope you guys like it. I'm really excited about it. So.
Rylan
So Chris's channel is in the description section below. And watch the video tomorrow or else show Chris support. Okay. And show our Patreon support as well. And thank you so much, everyone, for watching.
Lizzie
Can I plug my vlog? Oh, no. People hate when I do that.
Rylan
What is it?
Lizzie
I don't remember. Oh, no. I made yogurt bunnies. Okay. Plus, you tell them the end now. No one's gonna watch it. Cause they don't know how it ends. You spoiled it. Way to go. You spoiled Lizzie's Watts Season 3. Way to go.
Rylan
Wait, that's the part of that made the cut?
Lizzie
It's the vlog. It's the whole vlog.
Rylan
She's pretending to be mad right now, but I'm sure that's not even in the cut.
Lizzie
Like, literally in the cut. There's a teaser for it. There's dramatic music. It's the big moment.
Rylan
Did James edit it?
Lizzie
I haven't seen it yet. I don't know how it ends.
Chris
Oh, should I just bleep it when Rylan's. No, no.
Lizzie
Yeah, bleep it. Bleep it. For the drama.
Rylan
Whatever. Thank you, guys. We'll see you next week. I had a vlog go up last week. Oh, shit. Or on Sunday.
Lizzie
Oh, shit.
Rylan
In real time. That was yesterday. The day before St. Patrick's Day, it was called. We need to talk.
Lizzie
Oh, about what?
Rylan
Well, baby names.
Chris
Bless you. Your vlogs are the, like, thing I aspire to get to. They're very good.
Lizzie
Oh, my God.
Rylan
There's a lot of editing time spent on my vlogs. A lot. But it's always funny to me because I was like. Shane's like, well, what are we gonna title it? And I was like, well, here at this point, like, 1340, you say, we need to talk. And I was like. So it's gonna be called we need to Talk, but it's about the we need to Talk title is about what our we're gonna name our girl child Madison. No.
Lizzie
Are you lying?
Rylan
Did you just watch the vlog?
Lizzie
No, I want to spoil it like you spoiled mine. Well, my bra's out.
Rylan
No. Thank you. You're welcome. And thank you, guys, really, honestly. We'll see you next week. We love you very much. Goodbye. And that's the sip. Me alone?
Lizzie
Girl, I have a tongue full of nacho cheese.
Rylan
Okay, who's ready?
Lizzie
I don't know if I can get ready. Like, this seems like a permanent.
Rylan
Okay, hold on. Just wait. Just wait. Just fill it out.
Lizzie
What if I just have another huge seize?
Rylan
We love you very much. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. And that's the sip. Toodaloo.
Podcast Summary: The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon
Episode: Tasting EVERYTHING at 7-ELEVEN!!!
Release Date: March 19, 2025
Introduction to Unexpected St. Patrick's Day Celebration (00:00 - 03:00)
The episode kicks off with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon engaging in their characteristic playful banter. Lizze humorously questions if she's having an "Ariana Grande moment," prompting Ryland to declare that "Everything feels so good" (00:13). The conversation takes a comedic turn when Ryland reveals that all hosts unknowingly wore shades of green, sparking a realization that it's St. Patrick's Day—a coincidence neither anticipated (00:28). This leads to a series of lighthearted exchanges about the holiday's unexpected timing on a Monday and their shared disbelief.
Navigating Family Dynamics and Parenthood (03:00 - 15:00)
The hosts delve into personal anecdotes about parenting and family interactions. Lizze shares her experience dealing with a mother who persistently refills her water, highlighting the challenges of co-parenting (03:53). They discuss the influence of hormonal changes in women around age 30, tying it into their own experiences with physical changes and parenting responsibilities.
Ryland and Lizze talk about their children, particularly focusing on their sons' behaviors and personalities. Ryland humorously describes his son's strength compared to his own, saying, "He's too mobile for your stupidity" (12:50), while Lizze reflects on the joys and stresses of parenting, emphasizing the importance of allowing children to express themselves.
Theme Park Adventures and Parenting Challenges (15:00 - 30:00)
The conversation shifts to their recent visit to Universal Studios. Ryland recounts their experience navigating the crowded park during spring break, discussing the logistics of bringing their babies along and the limited activities suitable for young children (14:05). Lizze expresses her preference for simpler outings, like visiting a friend's house, over the high-energy environment of theme parks.
They share humorous incidents from their trip, including dealing with over-stimulated children and encountering judgmental strangers. The hosts emphasize the balance between creating memorable experiences for themselves and accommodating their children's needs, ultimately choosing activities that cater more to adult enjoyment while keeping the kids engaged in age-appropriate ways.
Online Shopping Frustrations and Product Reviews (30:00 - 50:00)
Ryland vents about his frustrations with online shopping, particularly his negative experiences with Zocdoc and Skims. He emphasizes the efficiency of Amazon's customer service compared to other retailers, lamenting the delays and poor support from companies like Skims (32:06). Lizze echoes his sentiments, comparing traditional mail services unfavorably to Amazon's streamlined processes.
The hosts discuss their fondness for certain products despite the hassle of obtaining them, such as the Kite Baby Swaddle and Milky Mama products. They share their experiences with emergency snacks and the challenges of maintaining lactation, blending practical advice with their trademark humor.
Maintaining Personal Health and Wellness (50:00 - 70:00)
The duo shifts focus to personal wellness, discussing the importance of establishing routines and prioritizing health amidst their busy lives. Lizze contemplates waking up early for the gym to set a positive example for her child, while Ryland critiques popular podcasts like Khloe Kardashian's, offering playful commentary on influencer endorsements (27:11).
They stress the significance of self-care for mental health, debating the merits of various activities that promote well-being. The conversation highlights the struggle of balancing parenting duties with personal health goals, underscored by their shared commitment to supporting each other through these challenges.
Final Adventures: Tasting 7-Eleven Offerings (70:00 - End)
In the latter part of the episode, Ryland and Lizze embark on their promised adventure—tasting various 7-Eleven menu items. They humorously critique the quality of ready-made foods, such as nachos and pizza, while navigating the store's limited offerings. Notable moments include:
Ryland's Nacho Critique: Ryland praises the nachos, stating, "The nachos are crazy good" (72:05), despite initial skepticism about their quality.
Lizze's Humor on Hot Dogs: Lizze shares a childhood anecdote about stealing nacho cheese at a movie theater, blending nostalgia with humor (74:01).
Discussion on Corporate Practices: They briefly touch upon their frustrations with corporate shopping experiences, contrasting Costco's pricing strategies with their own shopping preferences (67:34).
The episode concludes with playful interactions as they continue to sample and comment on the 7-Eleven offerings, wrapping up their tasting adventure with laughter and camaraderie.
Notable Quotes:
Conclusion:
"Tasting EVERYTHING at 7-ELEVEN!!!" is a quintessential episode of The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon, blending humor, personal stories, and candid discussions about parenthood, family dynamics, and everyday challenges. The hosts' infectious chemistry and relatable topics make for an engaging listen, offering insights and laughter to both regular listeners and newcomers alike.