Tasting EVERYTHING at a MALL FOOD COURT!!!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Tasting EVERYTHING at a MALL FOOD COURT!!!"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon
• Host/Authors: Ryland Adams & Lizze Gordon
• Episode: Tasting EVERYTHING at a MALL FOOD COURT!!!
• Release Date: February 26, 2025

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1. Opening Banter and Personal Struggles

The episode kicks off with Lizze expressing her frustrations, attributing them to postpartum rage, a common emotional challenge following childbirth. Ryland adds humor by recounting an incident where Lizze forgot their slate, leading to playful teasing about hairstyles and personal habits.

• Lizze (00:00): “Poor Joe's suffering from my postpartum rage, which I have, by the way. Postpartum rage.”
• Ryland (00:35): “Today we're trying Chris on the pod.”

2. Vlogging and Content Creation Discussions

Lizze and Ryland delve into their content creation processes, discussing their Patreon strategies and the logistics of producing vlogs. They emphasize the balance between maintaining quality content and managing their schedules effectively.

• Ryland (04:10): “We are not gonna, like, throw the Patreon in your face so much, but I did just want to clarify...”

3. Personal Stories: Parenting, Anxiety, and Relationships

The hosts share personal anecdotes about parenting milestones and the anxieties that come with raising children. Lizze recounts a tense moment when her baby, Billy, had a minor fall, illustrating the constant worry parents face. Ryland echoes similar sentiments, discussing his own experiences with his child's development and the pressures of social media comparisons.

• Lizze (16:12): “Billy's doing the more advanced version of that thing.”
• Ryland (12:25): “We are all gonna get there. You know what I mean?”

4. Media Discussions: Love is Blind and Gabby Petita Documentary

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing popular media. Lizze critiques the latest season of "Love is Blind," finding it lacking in genuine drama, while Ryland defends the show's entertainment value. They also explore the sensitive topic of the Gabby Petita documentary, debating the ethics of exposing personal tragedies for public consumption.

• Lizze (22:25): “The problem is, like, this girl. That’s how I know I'm not making the comment that never stays in my fucking head.”
• Ryland (37:03): “I have to watch it because that is like, I mean, it's so heartbreaking...”

5. Advice Segment: Personal and Relationship Advice

Listeners’ questions form the basis of an advice segment where Lizze and Ryland tackle sensitive topics, including relationship satisfaction and personal well-being. One notable discussion revolves around conflict arising from postpartum changes and the importance of open communication in relationships.

• Lizze (40:32): “How much coconut water is too much...”
• Ryland (45:20): “Just saying your dick is too small is not a productive conversation.”

6. Mall Food Court Taste Test

The highlight of the episode features Ryland and Lizze embarking on a culinary adventure at a local mall food court. They sample a variety of foods from establishments like Panda Express and Blaze Pizza, sharing their candid reactions and playful banter. The segment is filled with humor as they navigate the loud environment and diverse food options.

• Lizze (62:30): “We go to Taco Bell every week...”
• Ryland (67:09): “The green bean chicken, it's good, right?”
• Lizze (70:28): “Put it in the box. Put it in the butt.”
• Ryland (73:13): “I don't know what you're going to get out of that.”

7. Closing Remarks and Patreon Promotion

As the episode winds down, Ryland and Lizze promote their Patreon page, highlighting exclusive content available to subscribers, including extended discussions, vlogs, and live streams. They reiterate the value of their Patreon community while assuring listeners that the main podcast remains accessible without subscription.

• Ryland (60:05): “We're currently working on Merch... check it out on patreon.com Ryland Adams.”
• Lizze (76:08): “I was about to say it now in bold, but it's just a new topic.”

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Notable Quotes:

• Lizze (02:38): “What really gets me is when you're in a trying time or you're in a...”
• Ryland (19:23): “You're low key. A White Lotus character.”
• Lizze (33:57): “Billy has the ability to do a lot of...”

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Key Takeaways:

• Authenticity and Vulnerability: Throughout the episode, Lizze and Ryland emphasize the importance of being genuine and open about personal struggles, especially regarding postpartum challenges and parenting anxieties.

• Balancing Content Creation: The hosts discuss the intricacies of managing a podcast alongside vlogging, highlighting the need for structured schedules and clear communication.

• Navigating Relationships: Personal stories underline the complexities of maintaining healthy relationships amidst stress and changing life dynamics.

• Critical Media Consumption: Their critique of "Love is Blind" and analysis of the Gabby Petita documentary reflect a thoughtful approach to consuming and discussing media.

• Humor in Everyday Life: The food court taste test segment showcases their ability to infuse humor into everyday experiences, making the content relatable and entertaining.

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Conclusion:

This episode of "The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon" offers a blend of personal storytelling, critical media analysis, and lighthearted fun at a mall food court. Lizze and Ryland's candid conversations provide listeners with both insightful reflections and entertaining moments, maintaining the show's signature unfiltered and engaging style.

Transcript

[Lizzie]

Yeah, no. Poor Joe's suffering from my postpartum rage, which I have, by the way. Postpartum rage.

[Ryland]

I got my slate. One pink, one marker.

[Lizzie]

He forgot his slate. But he did get a haircut.

[Ryland]

Did he? Did you get a haircut? Yeah. Look at those sides. Lizzy was like, you're looking like a hot lesbian snack, Chris.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, he really is. Which am I hungry?

[Ryland]

You know is just her type.

[Lizzie]

Today we're trying Chris on the pod.

[Ryland]

I just imagine, like, body shots and you're, like, licking up his stomach.

[Lizzie]

Wow, this got really weird really fast.

[Ryland]

Oh, my God.

[Lizzie]

We were both married.

[Ryland]

I wasn't the one that started this.

[Lizzie]

You took it to another level. That made everyone uncomfortable.

[Ryland]

So, allegedly, Lizzie has prepared something for the podcast that she wanted me to connect so that I could hear. And she said, you're gonna need headphones. And I said, oh, my God. Well, I have a clip that I wanted to share, too. So I'm over at my computer, I'm trying to find the clip. I can't find the clip. I see that it's 11:11. I silently make a wish to myself, kiss my fingers, touch it to the monitor.

[Lizzie]

And that's the difference between the two of us, because I notice it's 11:11. And I say, everybody, it's 11:11. Make a wish.

[Ryland]

And Rylan says, I already had. And I had no desire to tell you guys. I was busy. I was busy.

[Lizzie]

You know, someone. You think you're friends.

[Ryland]

Oh, I don't know if I think we're friends. Sometimes you're the source of great anxiety for me.

[Lizzie]

That's crazy, because guess what?

[Ryland]

Me too. For you.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Then let's share. I was listening to Oprah this morning on my dog walk, and I was like, you know what? Like, we are really light hearted and fun, but don't you ever want to get serious and deep?

[Lizzie]

Oh, here.

[Ryland]

I mean, just when you're listening to podcasts, when it's always like, just like.

[Lizzie]

Sometimes we add levity. Is it called levity? No, it's not called levity. It's the opposite of it.

[Ryland]

So anyways, I was just like, where's my Oprah?

[Lizzie]

We had gravity.

[Ryland]

I don't have, like a. I wouldn't even say, like, a sob story. But just like, she had me out there crying on my walk.

[Lizzie]

Girl, you were crying this morning.

[Ryland]

I had one of those little, like, this is Us moments when I watched this is Us. It's like a small convulsion. Yeah, it's not a large convulsion. But it's a small one. I don't know. What really gets me is when you're in a trying time or you're in a. Like, a transitional period, and someone that you love and respect, their opinion really shows up for you in a meaningful way. Like, that's what would get me on this is Us. Like, when one of their family members would step up for them in an unexpected way to show their love for someone.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

And so, yeah, I was listening to an episode this morning that just got me.

[Lizzie]

Oh, that's nice.

[Ryland]

And so I said to Lizzie, can you tell us something? Can you exploit your vulnerability and, like, really lay it all out there for the podcast? Maybe tell us about the time you came out as a lesbian to someone and it changed and said, that's not right. And then you reverted your life backwards to being straight. Since then, I knew there was a time like that crazy.

[Lizzie]

Said I was the one causing anxiety. It's crazy.

[Ryland]

Okay, well, why am I anxiety ridden for you?

[Lizzie]

Oh, mine's not even interesting. I just like deadlines.

[Ryland]

Oh, well, you wanna fight about the Patreon publicly?

[Lizzie]

No, it's not. I swear to God. It's not a. I just want to. I just want to do date, like.

[Ryland]

Well, the vlog also. We had filmed a vlog two weeks ago, and so she told me I have a day plan to edit that vlog this week. And then she's sending me clips while she's editing. And so today I had assumed.

[Lizzie]

Was the clip not good, though?

[Ryland]

It was good.

[Lizzie]

Thank you.

[Ryland]

And so I had assumed because she wanted to pick it up in person the previous time, but I Google Drive it to her like an adult. And so I figured, oh, she's not going to Google Drive it back to me. She's going to bring it. So I said, is it done? Are you bringing it today? And she goes, no. And I said, what? You what? And so I'm just saying here and now, your job is that vlog. The. The dual vlog.

[Lizzie]

I understand.

[Ryland]

And the merch.

[Lizzie]

Okay. But I would like due dates.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Okay. And I think that's fair.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Is it not? Am I asking too much? It feels fair.

[Ryland]

Okay, well, listen up, ladies. We're not gonna, like, throw the Patreon in your face so much, but I did just want to clarify, because I saw some people being like, is this Rylan's Patreon? Is this the Sips Patreon? And I'm like, I'm just having so much fun. It's whatever we pump out. Because there Is this relief to me where I. I actually like vlogging a lot, but sometimes I don't vlog things that I don't think would make my vlog, just because it's like, to a broader audience.

[Lizzie]

I see what you're saying.

[Ryland]

I watch a lot of daily vloggers. Like, daily vloggers is a comfort zone for me. Like, I. I watch them when I'm falling to sleep. I watch them when I'm, like, doing the dishes or whatever. But I think it sometimes, like, the everyday of life doesn't have a super broad appeal. So my vlogs on YouTube just aren't that. So I've been having fun doing that on Patreon. But I was thinking with our schedule on Patreon, this show comes out Wednesday. I think we should maybe space the after show out and post that on Thursday.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Ryland]

So everyone gets something here on Wednesday. If you want the after show, you have entertainment for the next day, and then we post a vlog maybe on Monday. Whether that's a solo vlog of mine, a solo vlog of Lizzie's, or a dual vlog of the both of ours.

[Lizzie]

And our dual vlog might be the last Monday of every month. I'm just looking for a due date.

[Ryland]

When we film something, I think it should just be, like, a week turnaround. It should be, like, the next closest Monday. Whatever. We'll figure that out behind the scenes.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, No, I was. The only reason why I paused, just so you know, is because I thought if we were collecting a bunch of footage over a series of days. Oh, that was the only reason why I paused there, just so you know.

[Ryland]

Okay, well, anyways, I'm hoping something will be on the Patreon. Monday, Thursday, and then sometimes, like, the after sip, which is like an unedited video of if we all get crazy and film something that's just like, we're gonna post it right then and there and be crazy.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And I also just wanted to clarify something also.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

I am not gay.

[Ryland]

Oh, you aren't?

[Lizzie]

No. Just kidding. No, I really wanted to clarify. Last week I said I wish everything was a Patreon episode. And it's only because I can say C U N T on Patreon.

[Ryland]

Oh, and I can say fag on Patreon.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, that's the only reason why I said that. It's like I. It's. It's like a liberated space where I can not have to be concerned about anything else. And, like, I get that it seems like I have no filter here. But, like, believe it or not, this is filtered.

[Ryland]

It really is.

[Lizzie]

Which is shocking.

[Ryland]

And I have to remind her what needs to be filtered? Often he's got a little gun under.

[Lizzie]

The table, and I'm scared.

[Ryland]

There's a couple squirt guns that I.

[Lizzie]

Pull out bright green, and they're threatening.

[Ryland]

She's ever work, I will. Oh, I was gonna, like, give you your flowers. Cause you got out of your car today and you were like, look at me and my old Jean. Oh, what?

[Lizzie]

Did you hear that?

[Ryland]

Is that. Cause it's connected. The phone's connected. Oh.

[Lizzie]

Oh, you just got a text.

[Ryland]

I have my phone. Oh, my phone's on loud. Because I'm waiting on a rubber mulch delivery.

[Lizzie]

Oh, got it.

[Ryland]

So how do I mute text mess?

[Lizzie]

I don't just leave it on. That was crazy, though. I was like, hold on.

[Ryland]

Oh, he's muted it. Okay, got it. Well, perfect. Chris solved the problem.

[Lizzie]

Well, now you're not gonna hear anything.

[Ryland]

Well, I'll hear something on my phone. You won't hear anything.

[Lizzie]

Did you hear a text just now?

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

You did?

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Ryland]

So.

[Lizzie]

Okay, no, wait. This is a perfect segue for me.

[Ryland]

Okay. I'm not gonna forget about what my problem with you is, though.

[Lizzie]

I thought you already aired your grieving. To you crazy.

[Ryland]

Oh, that was just in our workload.

[Lizzie]

Oh, no. Oh, no. Hold on. Last week, you texted your husband while I aired my grievance, and now I'm gonna text mine. Go on. I'm just kidding. I was checking a next. Go on.

[Ryland]

No, I have. Sometimes Lizzie makes me self conscious. For example, my shoes that I had on this morning, and I had to take them off because I just didn't want to hear it, you know, I just didn't want to hear the judgment and the criticism about my shoes that I like, so I had to take them off.

[Lizzie]

Hold on, hold on.

[Ryland]

I look at.

[Lizzie]

Look yourself in the fucking eyes and say, do you really? Do you like those shoes?

[Ryland]

I do. When they're on the shelf, I'm like, those are beautiful shoes.

[Lizzie]

How come I've never once seen you wearing them in the wild?

[Ryland]

Because I get critiques from you when I.

[Lizzie]

If I know I'm me because it's. Sometimes I'm not here.

[Ryland]

If I know that I'm going to bump into Elizabeth Gordon. I can't wear the shoes that I wear.

[Lizzie]

One time you wore them out.

[Ryland]

Bump into Elizabeth Gordon. I have to shave up here and down here because I know she's going to make a nasty comment about my beard. Not being tamed.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Ryland]

And so guess what happens?

[Lizzie]

Literally, I never make a nasty comment about it. And I'm always only just thinking it. And that's how I know I'm not making the comment that never stays in my fucking head.

[Ryland]

I would have never been self conscious.

[Lizzie]

You be up on this channel doing ad reads for about shaving your cheeks when you have not shaved your cheeks today, you look clean and fresh and beautiful. Today you look like.

[Ryland]

Harry's razors are fantastic.

[Lizzie]

I'm sure they are when you use them.

[Ryland]

I would never know to be self conscious about my neck beard hair had it not been for you. So you're welcome. You've been.

[Lizzie]

You've been welcome.

[Ryland]

And here's the thing. I would prefer to just use the electric razor at its smallest length and go. There's still a lot of definition and it's still barely visible. It looks like the next day of a shave.

[Lizzie]

I'm going to go ahead tell you it's not barely visible.

[Ryland]

And so.

[Lizzie]

And I'm saying that as a person who's kept that inside a lot.

[Ryland]

You have not. Because I'm conscious of it, because of you.

[Lizzie]

Just hear me in my head.

[Ryland]

And so what I'm saying is there's lots of these moments that I do. I think you're being honest and it's not you being nasty. Well, sometimes it's not you being nasty. So today I'm like all shaved because I had a little extra time. I was running early this morning, so I was like, I'll shave my neck. And when I'm not shaving the entire beard, it's like I've lost all ability to use a razor because you're trying to be precise. Under and go down.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

And so for some reason, it looks.

[Lizzie]

Like you went to Sweeney Todd.

[Ryland]

I was. I thought I had done a good job. I move on to my hair and I look back in the mirror and I'm like bleeding like I had just been slaughtered. And I sent Lizzie a picture and I was like, you. Fuck you. And she goes, honestly, it looks like my vagina. You don't know how to shave either?

[Lizzie]

No. That's why I have a fucking crazy out of control bush situation.

[Ryland]

And so you're conscious of it. Is your husband making nasty comments to you? Like, I'm. You are to me.

[Lizzie]

Nobody's well within his rights to.

[Ryland]

Oh, you're trying to say you're well within your rights?

[Lizzie]

I. I would like to. I would first like to say, number one, you look stunning.

[Ryland]

Thank you.

[Lizzie]

You actually Have a glow about you that is like you're using an elixir or something.

[Ryland]

I'm feeling great.

[Lizzie]

You look good.

[Ryland]

I'm feeling well balanced and great.

[Lizzie]

But you look beautiful. And I think your hair is doing what you want it to do in a way that works. Does that sound nasty?

[Ryland]

No, I'll take it.

[Lizzie]

I meant it to be really nice.

[Ryland]

It's finally long enough where I can go back, which the weight was not enough to combat my cow.

[Lizzie]

I think the problem is, even when I'm being good and nice, it comes out nasty. And that's not my. Is that my fault? Because I'm doing, like, I'm trying. I'm trying to be nice. And I mean what I say. It's authentic. It's from the heart. It's real. If I didn't think you looked beautiful, I would not.

[Ryland]

Well, here's the thing. I also agree with you. Like, I do think a beard looks better when your neck is tamed.

[Lizzie]

Mm.

[Ryland]

So I agree. But then it's like, I think my sensory overload was also. Sometimes this is why I don't go to a Mommy and Me class. Okay? Because I can't. I know what I can and can't do. I don't want the opinions of 5 million people. And that's why I don't join a group like that. And so I think sometimes, like. And it's not just you, it's like Instagram. Sometimes I'll be seeing all of these people talking about how their kids are eating way more advanced than my kids are eating, and then I'll start feeling like shit about myself. And I'm like, A, I'm trying my best, and B, I've never met an adult who doesn't know how to use cutlery. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Lizzie]

Oh, I do.

[Ryland]

So when I'm, like, going crazy because I feel like my Instagram is. And this is what I'm saying, like, why I went off about the sensory word in specific wasn't about the sensory play. It's about every parent is out here.

[Lizzie]

Doing the comparative studies that other parents do against other.

[Ryland]

And now there's so much information. And I know everyone's, like, saying, this worked for me, so here's this tool for you. But even with, like, the amount of sleep, the amount of which the kids are eating, the amounts of which I'm like, I've never.

[Lizzie]

Shut the fuck up.

[Ryland]

I've never met an adult who knew their sleep schedule as a baby. I've never met an adult who can't feed themselves. So it's like, we're all gonna get there. You know what I mean? So that's what I remind myself when I'm like, oh, my God, my kids aren't, like, doing this that these other kids on Instagram are doing.

[Lizzie]

It's like, you can never compare, even into your own life and your own adulth. You can't compare because there is also no comparison. I was. We were talking about this, actually, in my mommy group because, like, oh, I'm going to get really real for a second.

[Ryland]

This is what I wanted.

[Lizzie]

Okay. Well, no, I mean, like. Like, I'm not going to be, like, dropping names, but I'm going to be. This is. Oh, I feel like they're going to, like, kick me out of.

[Ryland]

No, I'm just saying you be vulnerable.

[Lizzie]

Oh, this doesn't qualify as oh.

[Ryland]

So this is my Oprah moment that I was searching for this episode.

[Lizzie]

So. While protecting the sanctity of my Mommy and Me group. Because I do think the first rule about Mommy and Me is that you don't talk about Mommy and me. You know what I mean?

[Ryland]

Right.

[Lizzie]

So, gosh, how do I do this without betraying everybody's confidence?

[Ryland]

Well, I don't think this happened at Mommy and Me.

[Lizzie]

I will. Okay, here's what I'll say. Billy has the ability to do a lot of. And he tends to do it a little bit sooner than other babies in his age range, which.

[Ryland]

You turned this around on my babies this morning. What are you gonna say, he bullies them?

[Lizzie]

No, God damn it. Stop calling him a bully. That's.

[Ryland]

I know, but then this morning, she turned it around. She was like, well, your kids, Billy, Bully Billy. And I was like, no, I think it's the same thing that happens at.

[Lizzie]

Mommy and me, where they're just bigger and more curious.

[Ryland]

They're just, like, trying to explore.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, that's not what I'm talking about, though. So when he does these things, it's, like, really cool and it's really exciting, but I don't think it has anything extra to do with what I'm doing as a parent.

[Ryland]

Right.

[Lizzie]

What I'm doing as a parent doesn't affect his trajectory unless I'm violently neglecting him or being abusive.

[Ryland]

Right. Like, your. Your encouragement isn't greater than their encouragement to get him to do things faster.

[Lizzie]

Correct.

[Ryland]

To reach his milestones quicker.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And, like, period, like, I'm. I'm doing nothing different. I'm love. It's not that I love him more. It's not that I'm, you know, feeding him bone marrow or letting him be barefoot. Do you know what I mean? Like, none of those things a baby's gonna do, what a baby's gonna do. And we kind of just have to be there to foster a safe environment for them to do that. That being said, this weekend, there was some chat in the Mommy and me group, and at one point, one of the moms was just asking about different things and, like, babies milestones and things like that. And I didn't even know the word for what she was talking about, so I just asked, and then I. My response was, oh, well, Billy's kind of just. And then in retrospect, I look back, and it's like Billy's doing the more advanced version of that thing.

[Ryland]

Right.

[Lizzie]

And then I look like an.

[Ryland]

Yeah, that's. That's what I mean. Because that. Yes.

[Lizzie]

Later that night, Billy, who has started inchworming. He's an inchworm king now, which is very exciting. I have him on my bed and one of those Instagram reels that I saw because I get all of my information about childhood from Instagram because I can't read right. Said that when they start inching or crawling or whatever, it's really important to start teaching them how to slide off of things safely.

[Ryland]

About. Yes. With the feet first.

[Lizzie]

Correct. So I allow Billy to explore sliding off of my bed safely. My bed is on the floor, by the way. Our matches on the floor for the dogs. Yeah. And Billy's size means that he can be have his top half on the mattress and his feet on the floor. And he's not on his tippy toes. Like, it's short enough for him to manage that. And he, like, blew me the away because he slides off the back of the bed perfectly. He's got his arms on the top part, his feet on the base. Literally pushes up on his top to a standing position and just sort of looks at me, and I'm like, who the are you, bro? Like, you're. You're five months old. Like, what is this? And in the moment it took me to be, like, awestruck or whatever the word is, and to reach for my phone, he fell over backwards and hit his head on my nightstand. And my first thought was, oh, my God, he's gonna die. And my second thought was that mom in the mom group can never know about this. So in a moment, like, my baby's fine. There's no bump. There's no. There's nothing. Like, I was tripping. I Googled for three hours whether or not we should go to the emergency room. It was a very short fall and it like, he. He barely cried. There was no signs of anything wrong, basically, besides me just feeling like a defeat.

[Ryland]

Yes. Yeah, I've been there, done. Yes.

[Lizzie]

And I even. I almost texted you and I was like, can I have those dumbass backpacks with the head pads?

[Ryland]

You don't really do anything. I think that, I mean, we're referencing, like, I'm sure you've seen them on Instagram if you're a parent. They have genius marketing where it's like a backpack that has the thing as a head, but it's like they're never on when you actually need them, and it's not really practical to have on. And as they're learning to walk, it's.

[Lizzie]

Like it hinders them.

[Ryland]

It just like the. The progression of which they learn their balance and stuff. It just is never a convenient. It just doesn't really work right. And so, yes, like, even Max was walking the other day, and I watched him fall in slow motion before I could get to him. And he, like, he first fell to his butt because he tried to grab something that was a little out of his reach. He fell to his butt. And like, I. I got the carpet that I've been talking. The rug that I've been talking about forever, that is basically the entirety of.

[Lizzie]

The room, and it's also like an Olympic carpet.

[Ryland]

And he decided to fall on the one edge outside of that and then in slow motion, falls to his butt and then falls to his back from his sitting position. And it was like, so dramatic and in slow motion. And he did bump his head and I felt so bad, but I also was like, like, oh, my God, I'm an awful.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Parent. Yeah, I'm horrible.

[Lizzie]

I was like, I had a great child and I just broke it.

[Ryland]

Yep.

[Lizzie]

So, but that, that was like, it was crazy to me. Like, the first thought is like, I hope he's okay. And then the second thought is, Lauren can never know about this. Also, can I whisper something to you?

[Ryland]

I mean, yes, but I'm sure we're all going to figure it out.

[Lizzie]

I'll tell you after the pod, but I'll forget.

[Ryland]

How bad is it?

[Lizzie]

It's not bad.

[Ryland]

Just be vulnerable with us.

[Lizzie]

No, it's. It's not vulnerability.

[Ryland]

Vulnerable. Vulnerability is my keyword of the day. It's my intention for this class. Growth was the intention for my yoga class yesterday. Vulnerability is my intention for this podcast today.

[Lizzie]

You're low key. A White Lotus character.

[Ryland]

And they were telling us most of the time when you're growing, you're not realizing you're growing until you're looking back at how far you've come. So congratulations, you guys, you've been growing.

[Lizzie]

Damn.

[Ryland]

Which White Lotus character am I? That is such a compliment.

[Lizzie]

Just like one of them.

[Ryland]

Thank God. Are you watching the new season?

[Lizzie]

I started watching the new season. Something's wrong with my brain right now. I can't focus on fucking anything either.

[Ryland]

I have to watch unless it's trash.

[Lizzie]

I can't even focus on Love is Blind.

[Ryland]

It's because it's a horrible season.

[Lizzie]

Joe's seen Love is Blind than the new season drop probably five times because it's just on in the background of his life. I have seen, and I'm sitting there, it's horribly boring.

[Ryland]

They did 500 too many episodes in the pod.

[Lizzie]

I think you're wrong.

[Ryland]

You like it?

[Lizzie]

No. Did you hear? I haven't seen it? I mean, it's been on.

[Ryland]

I've watched almost all the episodes that are available.

[Lizzie]

So you saw the drama.

[Ryland]

Which drama?

[Lizzie]

Spoiler alert. Okay, the drama that one guy knew his partner. Oh, that didn't play out the way I think it did.

[Ryland]

I mean, yes, but no. I mean, at the end of it, I was like, oh, we didn't need to go through all of this because.

[Lizzie]

He didn't know her.

[Ryland]

I mean, it was weird because for.

[Lizzie]

Audio only listeners, he just keeps giving me like quotation, air quotation mark, not even both hands. And he's like rolling his eyes.

[Ryland]

This guy proposes to this woman. Should they say yes? And then before they go on the vacation, she's like, wait, now that I've seen his face, it hits me that a guy that looks like him had followed me and then unfollowed me. And it's kind of feels like he knew specifics that were on my Instagram profile. Like, I was like, taco Bell. Yeah, I'm in this line. And so when she's confrontable, when she's confronting him, he's kind of just like, well, I mean, it could have, but I don't remember. I was like, how do you not remember if you followed a person on Instagram? Like, especially if it's someone you don't know. You were lurking, lurking, lurking, and then decided to hit follow. How? He didn't definitively say, no, I didn't do that. He just kept kind of saying, I don't know. I mean, it could have happened, but I genuinely don't remember. That, and I'm like, I'm calling. And I don't feel chemistry between this couple anyways. I think the girl's not interested. I don't know their names.

[Lizzie]

I know. What do they look like?

[Ryland]

White people. Damn, he's short, she's white.

[Lizzie]

Is he the short king? Is he the five'eight one?

[Ryland]

I feel like there's two short kings.

[Lizzie]

But they really look alike.

[Ryland]

Yes. So I always get them confused. And one of them makes that their personality. The other one doesn't really talk about it. It's that one. I think she just wanted to be on tv. And she was like, let's keep this going, because there's no chemistry between them on vacation.

[Lizzie]

Which one is she? They look a little different.

[Ryland]

All of them are forgettable. This season sucks. There's no real trauma, the vacation, no real drama. I'm like, we could have left this one in the drafts. Honestly, for real, It's. And I like Love is Blind, but this is not it. I would recommend the Traitors instead this season.

[Lizzie]

You always be recommending the Traitors.

[Ryland]

I know. It's good. It's good, it's good, it's good.

[Lizzie]

Wow.

[Ryland]

So you have nothing else to say about that? Oh, the only thing I found entertaining about Love is Blind is, I guess Netflix came to a deal with, I think, Universal Music Group, and they're playing Box.

[Lizzie]

Great music. I was. That was actually literally the only thing I noticed because I've been, like, blacking out the second the show goes on. And then one time I was like, is that fucking Billie Eilish?

[Ryland]

Is that Ariana Grande? Justin Bieber? What are you doing here?

[Lizzie]

What the fuck? I was like, I know these songs. This isn't just some podunk girl out in the middle of North Carolina making up songs to license.

[Ryland]

Shane didn't love it because then I thought it was a karaoke opportunity. And I'm singing at the top of my lungs because of the show. So boring. And then I'm continuing the song after it's over. Shane's like, okay, okay, enough.

[Lizzie]

Okay, well, since you're talking about Shane, I'm going to use this as my segue again.

[Ryland]

Okay? Something that nobody's really taking you up on.

[Lizzie]

I know. It's not fair. It's not fair at all. I have to say, please open our group chat. You, me, and Shane.

[Ryland]

Oh, this is what I believe.

[Lizzie]

Last week, I may have. I think I talked about this on our podcast, but in case we didn't, here's the backstory. I recently farted on the Shane Dawson podcast. And I thought no one could hear it because we all wear headphones. And if he had heard it, he, like, would have said something to me or at least, like, looked at me like. Like there would have been a moment.

[Ryland]

Honestly, I'm more offended by a smelly smart than I'm more offended by a smelly fart than a loud fart.

[Lizzie]

I just snickled a little.

[Ryland]

If it's smelly and awful, I'll share with her. It's okay.

[Lizzie]

I think I heard the fart.

[Ryland]

So the episode comes out last night.

[Lizzie]

And I'm not even sure if this is the episode where I think I farted, but I'm literally in bed last night watching the episode, giggling my little pants off.

[Ryland]

And so she screen records the moment she says to Shane and I, a half second before the zoom in, did you guys hear a fart? Then she sends another text. I'm laughing so hard because I totally did fart on a recent episode of the sdp, But I figured it was inaudible because we all had headphones on. I left her unread. This was at 10pm an hour later, at 11:18, Shane says I did. I don't hear it, but that's so funny. That's like the pity laugh Jet gives us.

[Lizzie]

I was gonna say, I think Shane's terrified of me because always responds to me with something. Okay, listen.

[Ryland]

Oh, I can't. That gets passed around the clap. Hands on buzzers, folks. Name something that gets passed around the clap.

[Lizzie]

Show me the clap. Or should I just ask you? Did you hear it? Did you hear it?

[Ryland]

Yes.

[Lizzie]

I think that's my fart.

[Ryland]

That was wild.

[Lizzie]

Do you think that's my fart?

[Ryland]

That is bald and sitting right next to me.

[Lizzie]

I know, it's super crazy. I can't control it. I'm postpartum. What do you want for me? I don't have a pelvic floor anymore.

[Ryland]

And so you're mad at Joe for being postpartum?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. Well, you're just going to move on from that?

[Ryland]

I mean, what else do you really want me to say?

[Lizzie]

Did you hear it ever?

[Ryland]

She did something everyone does.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God. Thanks for normalizing it.

[Ryland]

Are you still not farting in front of your husband?

[Lizzie]

I've never farted. Ever. Period.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. No. Poor Joe's suffering from my postpartum rage, which I have, by the way. Postpartum rage. That was really good, bro. It's so hot in here.

[Ryland]

We can turn on the air.

[Lizzie]

Oh, don't freeze me Out. Yeah. No postpartum rage has entered the chat. For those of you who hadn't noticed.

[Ryland]

I'm not sure it's ever left.

[Lizzie]

God help this man because he is in danger. No. Joe was just being the best this morning. Like, woke up, got out of bed, made breakfast, helped make solids for that menu. I have the same thing every morning. It's not necessarily delicious, but it's some sausage, some eggs, a piece of sourdough toast with some goat cheese on it. Some cheese and the eggs. And a matcha latte.

[Ryland]

Like a classic American breakfast.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And so Joe made that for us, and we sat and we had a cute little kiki with Billy while he had some egg in his little high chair.

[Ryland]

Did he like the egg?

[Lizzie]

I don't know. He's really hard to read. He kind of eats egg, like a secret. Like, he's sneaky about it.

[Ryland]

You could blend. What we would do a lot then is either sweet potato, butternut squash, and blend it with a protein.

[Lizzie]

We loved it. We are still introducing one thing at a time right now. So just to figure out what he has an allergic reaction to or not. So this is the first time he's.

[Ryland]

Ever had oatmeal that has all the allergens?

[Lizzie]

No, I don't think we're gonna do that.

[Ryland]

Oh, I loved it.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. I mean, we're just giving him one thing at a time. And then if he gets rashy, I'm like, is this cause I wiped him down too hard or is this an allergy? And usually it's just because I wiped him down too hard.

[Ryland]

Okay, so Joe.

[Lizzie]

So Joe made us breakfast. We sat down. He's being cute. He's super sweet. And he packed up everything for me to go to work today. Like, got my computer, my hard drive, my charger, everything. Put it in a backpack, put it in the car, unplugged the car, put snacks in my breast milk bag. Like, packed up my pump, washed my pump, put it away. Like, did all the things that needed to be done. While I was like, I am very stressed right now, Joe. And he was like, okay, like, what are you stressed about? Meanwhile, I'm, like, literally sitting there just, like, trying to watch Love is Blind for the seventh time and breastfeeding. Like, I was like, well, first of all, I haven't done any of the things I need to do. Like, there's no docket for the podcast. I have to shower. I have.

[Ryland]

There's no intro for the Patreon vlog. I have not delivered that to my boss.

[Lizzie]

I have to edit my personal vlog for the Patreon. I have not done this thing and that thing. And I need to shower and eat and pump. And he's like, okay. And then he helps me do all those things. And on the way out of the house, I smacked my elbow under the door, and I was like, I'm gonna kill Joe. This is his fault. Like, that's literally the first thing my brain thinks. Isn't that nuts?

[Ryland]

That is nuts.

[Lizzie]

And because I injured myself a couple times, I hit my fat ass on the side of the baby gate, and it hurts so bad. I'll show you. I have bruises up my. Up and down my thigh. And then I knocked my shin into the washing machine, the dishwasher, because it was left open to get the steam out to put the dishes away. And both times, I was like, joe must die. That's, like, the instant thought I have. It's like, it's more natural to me than breathing right now that I must murder my husband over things that are not his fault while he is acting like an angel on this earth. So I called him. I went, hi, it's me. I just want to thank you so much for your grace and patience lately. Like, that is just so above and beyond nice of you to do for me in this time. He didn't. He didn't answer it. That was a voicemail.

[Ryland]

He's not replying to you.

[Lizzie]

Does he ever. He's never replied to me.

[Ryland]

Well, now that summer's hit Los Angeles, it has been so nice outside.

[Lizzie]

It has been so nice outside.

[Ryland]

I am living my house dad dreams.

[Lizzie]

House dad, yeah, stay at home, dad.

[Ryland]

Yeah, stay at home dad dreams. I planted flowers this weekend. I'm really making waves on the baby's playground.

[Lizzie]

You really are.

[Ryland]

It's a lot of work. And Lizzie, as somebody who's had to, like, get quotes for the play surface of a playground before, she knows how much work that is.

[Lizzie]

Oh, it's triggering to hear about it. Every time you say mulch, I'm like.

[Ryland]

Not cheap.

[Lizzie]

And it's a fucking nightmare.

[Ryland]

A lot of labor. Yeah.

[Lizzie]

It just is what it is.

[Ryland]

I ordered one of those water. What are they called? Which you think is a sensory plant.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God. I get out of the car today, and Rylan goes, I ordered my kids a water table. And I went, you mean a sensory plant table.

[Ryland]

And I'm like, know a fun activity which just happens to be a sensory activity, because if you're doing fun things with your kids, it's innately sensory.

[Lizzie]

Don't you already have one of those, like that thing with the little propeller thing and you pour water around it. Is this literally just a water play table or is it a blank table that you can pour water?

[Ryland]

No, it's specifically made for water. You stand around it and it's like a pool of water and then there's. Yeah, different.

[Lizzie]

Oh, it's not what I thought it was. It's not a sensory play thing.

[Ryland]

I mean I think you're dense. Ring pleasing. No, it's different because it's something that they can do fun with their hands. Well then Billy's not going to be able to play on it.

[Lizzie]

It's okay. We'll bring our own sensory play table.

[Ryland]

Okay. So yeah, that's pretty much it.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Did you watch the SAG Awards?

[Lizzie]

Of course I didn't.

[Ryland]

Me either. I couldn't even like care enough to watch the red carpet arrivals.

[Lizzie]

I feel like I did see and I could be wrong about this but Timothee Chalamet finally won an award and it was a night Kylie wasn't aware that. I don't know. No. For being Bob Dylan.

[Ryland]

Oh, for being Bobby D. What is that movie called? Complete Unknown.

[Lizzie]

I'm so bored by it.

[Ryland]

But what I didn't watch it is a complete unknown. Cuz you're gaslighting me.

[Lizzie]

But is it good?

[Ryland]

You're just. She's just sending me clips of Timothy Shalam saying I love this man.

[Lizzie]

Oh, I love Timothy Sham to the point where I'm like, I'm like I can't share clips of it on the Internet cuz Joe's going to feel bad about it. It. That's how much I love him. It's like risky.

[Ryland]

I don't think he'll be jealous.

[Lizzie]

No, but it's like he's like. That's what I'm saying.

[Ryland]

Like here I am going rude again.

[Lizzie]

He is just waiting. I love him. I hope my kid turns out like him. He seems like a great time. I really love him. I saw another funny.

[Ryland]

Shane goes. Shane's only ever seen like thumbnails of you because he's like, like, you know, whenever he does a press tour he's just all like YouTube just splatters him all over the homepage. And so Shane's never consumed any of his work and has never heard him talk. And I guess Spencer the other day was talking about Timothy Chalamet and mentioned that he is in English and Shane.

[Lizzie]

Goes no, he's French.

[Ryland]

That man is in English.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

And she just, I guess Looks English. Like he doesn't have an English accent.

[Lizzie]

You thought he was English?

[Ryland]

Oh, my God. You missed my whole story.

[Lizzie]

No, I'm. I'm learning this for the first time.

[Ryland]

Shame has never heard the man.

[Lizzie]

Shane thought he was English.

[Ryland]

Thought he was just wondering why Spencer.

[Lizzie]

Would open with he's not English.

[Ryland]

I don't know how. I don't know what that's her do together. It's questionable every time. Like, they should have a podcast because they're so vulnerable with one another. And it's like what I strive for us to have. Have you been vulnerable yet?

[Lizzie]

I feel like I have been. Am I wrong?

[Ryland]

How could I be more vulnerable?

[Lizzie]

I don't know. I don't know that you have things to vulnerableize. Vulnerable eyes exposed.

[Ryland]

Then how can I relate to everyone?

[Lizzie]

You're out of touch, baby. But you're so beautiful. And you're living your dream.

[Ryland]

Okay. You watched the Gabby P. Doc.

[Lizzie]

I did. Did you?

[Ryland]

He said no.

[Lizzie]

The Gabby Petita documentary. They. So for those of you who might.

[Ryland]

Not know, I even know about this.

[Lizzie]

Right. So Gabby Petita was the young woman who went missing, and then it turned out that her boyfriend, Brian Laundrie, murdered her while they were on a van tour across America and vlogging it. So Netflix releases this documentary, and I, of course, did no research on it because I'm a piece of.

[Ryland]

Did you watch it?

[Lizzie]

I did. I watched it a little bit more than I watched Love is Blind. But I do have to say it is eerie as. Because they were given 100 access to all of Gabby's vlog footage. It seems so. And that's the other thing. That's just, like, devastating. Like this girl.

[Ryland]

I guess I'm gonna have to go watch this because that is like. I mean, it's. It's so heartbreaking, the story of what had happened. And then, I mean, if you're getting access to her diary. Yeah, that's wild.

[Lizzie]

It's. It, like, kind of makes me feel sick to talk about because it's.

[Ryland]

So she didn't give consent. I mean, she can't give consent for us to see her journal.

[Lizzie]

The takes of. It's the takes that she's doing, too. So it's like she'll do a read that she doesn't like, and then she'll go back and she'll try it again. And you can see the frustration in her eyes. And you can see when Brian does something that she doesn't like that he's doing. And you're, you know, her friends are sharing the text messages that they exchanged with each other. And it's like all of these things are on. Like, it's making me, like, uncomfortable. Like, I've got chills on my body right now, and I just feel like it's too much. I think it's too much to share of a person's privacy even though she's not here.

[Ryland]

And who gave the sign up? Her parents.

[Lizzie]

I think it must have been her parents because I think all of her possessions went back to them. Probably. Right. But that's why I'm saying, like, it's annoying. I didn't do any research on it, but it. It felt like. It felt like this is too much.

[Ryland]

Right.

[Lizzie]

Like, this isn't our business. This isn't what she published on YouTube and said, I want you to see this.

[Ryland]

No, it's quite the opposite. I mean, that's what creators are cutting out.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. You know, I would be mortified if somebody went through my vlog camera and found the moments where I'm scream, crying or I get so frustrated that I'm like, ah. You know what I mean?

[Ryland]

Like, you wouldn't. Yeah. I don't know who would be comfortable with that being shared.

[Lizzie]

No. Or even, like, if someone went through my phone and found our text messages and wanted to use. You know what I mean? Like, don't do that.

[Ryland]

Yeah. Because you also don't know the context. I mean, you just don't.

[Lizzie]

Well, it's. Her best friend is on the show talking about it, and she's the one who's sharing it, so it's her, you know, and. And to some degree, it's sweet and it's beautiful. And these girls loved each other in a way that, like, I can relate to with all of my friends. And. And. And God knows what I would do were I in a similar position. Because part of me feels like I want to honor my friend and fuck this guy that took her from me. But at this, in the same breath, it's like, if it wasn't for public consumption, I don't think we should share it. Do you know what I mean?

[Ryland]

Yeah. It's a hard, fine line that. Yeah. I don't know who the decision makers got to be, and I don't know why they made the decision to do that.

[Lizzie]

That on the opposite side of the coin. Like, I hope that the people who loved her, who survived feel like this was pos. A positive experience for them and not an exploitative one.

[Ryland]

Right.

[Lizzie]

And that maybe it helps them find some closure sharing her story and the truth of it, instead of allowing it to be, you know, shrouded in darkness and confusion, because that's what the laundry family kind of did to them.

[Ryland]

The sick part of society is that, like, intrigues people to watch more because you're so curious about the psyche of what's going on behind. Behind anyone's life that you're consuming, whether it be on the Internet or your friends or.

[Lizzie]

You're.

[Ryland]

Of course you're going. You're curious. So you're gonna want to see it. Yeah. Which is what makes it exploitative.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And then on the. Unrelated to the exploitation part of it, they released. I had never seen, like, the full body cam footage from the police officers because at one point in the story, not the story, but like in the investigation when they were looking for her, it came out that the police had recently stopped Brian and Gabby on the side of the road because a person called in and made report of domestic violence. And the person who called the police said, I'm seeing this man and he is slapping this woman. They said, this man is slapping this woman. That was the call. Then there was a white van is driving erratically on the highway. They pull them over and immediately they separate the two of them. But for some reason, the police believe that Gabby is the instigator of the violence. Even though Gabby has, like, scratches and blood on her. And the call that was received said a man is slapping a woman. Gabby is. Then Brian also has cuts on him. Gabby is then perceived as the aggressor. And the conversation that happens between the police away from the couple is, I don't believe this man is in danger. This girl cannot hurt him. And I'm like, do you hear what you're saying? I don't believe this man is in danger. You have a girl who is crying and hysterical in the back of your fucking car right now, who's telling you that he locked her out of the car. Who's telling you all of these things that he has done that are indicative of abusive things. You got a call saying he was slapping her. In what world are you not putting those pieces together?

[Ryland]

He's gonna have to live. I mean, who knows how he feels?

[Lizzie]

Well, you even hear them on the camera at body cam say, like, you know, I'd rather be penalized for making the right bad decision. So I'm not gonna prosecute them to the full extent of the law right now, but I am going to separate the couple so that they are not together within the next 24 hours so that this can de escalate. But the problem is, like, again, there was no cognitive. Like, there was no forward thinking of, like, connect these dots. Like, it was a call about a man, but now I'm gonna say it's the girl, even though all of this is textbook examples of a woman who is being abused. And then I'm gonna say, this man is not in danger. Like, that would that. That sentence just echoes in my head, like, no, this man is not in danger because he is the aggressor. Like, do you know what I'm saying?

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

So that just made me crazy.

[Ryland]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna have to watch it.

[Lizzie]

I mean, you can or you don't have to. It's pretty upsetting. Yeah. But.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

I also put next to that hot topic. Too dark.

[Ryland]

Okay, well, let's get into some advice, though. Okay. These were left over from last week, but they were so good that I just thought they needed some air time. So do you want to start with Perfect man can't fill his dick. It's too small. Or married nine years, Sex only once. We didn't do that one, did we?

[Lizzie]

We did do that one.

[Ryland]

Oh, we did do that one.

[Lizzie]

How do you forget that one?

[Ryland]

So I delete. So I deleted one that we didn't.

[Lizzie]

Can you do undo?

[Ryland]

No, this was this morning.

[Lizzie]

You can. Can you do undo?

[Ryland]

There's been so many things done so we'd have to undo.

[Lizzie]

They love watching us around technology.

[Ryland]

On this podcast, I starred the ones I think that I copied and pasted in here anyways, so we can go into that.

[Lizzie]

But Perfect man dig too small.

[Ryland]

Okay. Do you.

[Lizzie]

Oh, you want me to do it?

[Ryland]

Yeah. Should I hydrate or can you not see it? How much coconut water is too much?

[Lizzie]

How much coconut water is too much? That was something I actually had at the top of the docket. How I'm honestly asking, like, how much coconut water is too much, because I was drinking a gallon of it, and I think it's really with my body.

[Ryland]

You know, you can overdose on regular water too.

[Lizzie]

Like, can you Google it, Chris? Because I'm scared now. I am crazy. And I think part of my postpartum OCD is that I think that if I don't drink a literal gallon of coconut water a day, literally a gallon. I'm not exaggerating.

[Ryland]

Is that four of these?

[Lizzie]

It's like five or six of these. Is that too much?

[Ryland]

It's an expensive habit.

[Lizzie]

It really is. And I'm not that, like, I don't have that kind. How Much is too much. Is this why I'm shitting myself? Myself? And why I'm bloated?

[Ryland]

Okay, can you read?

[Lizzie]

Oh, I blacked out. There is no established upper limit of coconut water consumption. However, most experts recommend consuming no more than one to two cups, 16 to 32 ounces per day. Girl, I'm drinking, like, 33.8 fluid ounces out of these things and having, like, five to six.

[Ryland]

Ask your doctor.

[Lizzie]

I should have less, huh? But in my mind, if I have less, I'm not going to lactate.

[Ryland]

Why don't you just put some into your water? Like, why don't you dilute.

[Lizzie]

Are you hearing me? I'm crazy. I have convinced myself of this witchcraft.

[Ryland]

Then just keep drinking it. I don't care.

[Lizzie]

It doesn't even taste good. It tastes like. You know what it tastes like?

[Ryland]

I, I. The weird thing about coconut water is I love coconut shavings. I love coconut, yeah, but I hate coconut water.

[Lizzie]

What do you think it tastes like?

[Ryland]

Like, I think it tastes like coconut meat.

[Lizzie]

Oh, you don't think it tasted like semen?

[Ryland]

I haven't had it in a long time.

[Lizzie]

But semen or coconut water?

[Ryland]

Oh, I've had. Okay, I haven't had coconut water a long time.

[Lizzie]

Taste it.

[Ryland]

No, not after I wash. You backwash into it.

[Lizzie]

Just two seconds ago, girl, I didn't backwash.

[Ryland]

I just watch you go.

[Lizzie]

That. No, that was a swallow.

[Ryland]

I just watched you spit.

[Lizzie]

Mama, you're high. You are on drugs. And I'm telling everyone here and now. Hi, Lizzy and Ryland. I need some advice. I am a single mom of two girls and totally gave up on the the concept of dating. I ran into this man I knew from church at Disneyland, and we really hit it off. He's kind, gentle, patient, consistent, is stable, has a great career, is a man of God, and treats my daughters as if they were his own. He loves me and loves with intention and purpose in everything he does. However, we have had sex, and I have to admit his package is not big like I have grown accustomed to from past experiences. He's very good with his mouth and hands, but when he sticks it in, I can't really feel much. Much. There's times where I have lost my plane. Felt it, but it's not consistent. He can grow, but it's not as big as I would need to really feel it. I feel like a jerk caring about that, but I do. When I say he pleases me very well in other ways, I mean it. He fulfills my mind, body, and Soul. Except he does lack that in that department. I've been on the fence about just about that aspect, and I haven't brought it up to him because I feel like I should look past it, I guess. I want your thoughts and opinions and to hear what you would do if you were me in the scenario.

[Ryland]

Period.

[Lizzie]

Period.

[Ryland]

Sorry, I didn't enter. I didn't space. I did a. You. I pulled it. You where like you put all the hot topics with no spaces.

[Lizzie]

Oh, got it, got it, got it.

[Ryland]

Got it, got it. That's the next one.

[Lizzie]

So I was about to say it now in bold, but it's just a new topic.

[Ryland]

That's the next one, period.

[Lizzie]

If you were in this scenario, have.

[Ryland]

You been in this scenario yourself? Parents stop watching.

[Lizzie]

You mean children?

[Ryland]

No, my parents.

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah. Get out of here.

[Ryland]

Because I was gonna be a little too vulnerable because this is the vulnerabilities yourself, Daddy, I think I've only ever been in the opposite scenario.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Ryland]

Too big, right?

[Lizzie]

I mean, I think different. No offense, but I think a booty hole is different than a vagina hole.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

And I think you're more likely never going to notice a too small penis in your butt. Right. Am I right about that?

[Ryland]

So is that your advice? Maybe he should stick it in the house?

[Lizzie]

Maybe you should put it in because right in the butt.

[Ryland]

Honestly, that was like an accidental advice.

[Lizzie]

That was an accident. Oh, my God, girl.

[Ryland]

But the problem is, is you guys don't have the prostates.

[Lizzie]

I think still feel good. I think women still like butt stuff, though. I am not a person who participates in butt stuff enough to speak on the matter, which is why I'm literally asking.

[Ryland]

So delicate and cra. I mean, it's like an awful situation to be in because it's like. Yeah, it's a physical attribute. You can't change.

[Lizzie]

I was gonna say it's. Do not bring it up to him. If you can find ways to be pleasured by him, find those ways.

[Ryland]

I think you could be more.

[Lizzie]

Just saying your dick is too small is not a productive conversation.

[Ryland]

I think you could be more vocal about what does feel good. Because you said there's been instances. Yeah, I think you could encourage this. Feels really good when you move in this direction or when you've done that to me. It's when I really have a great time.

[Lizzie]

Or could you perhaps put your tiny penis in my tight butthole? I was listening to a podcast and I recently heard that perhaps nothing is too small for a butthole. It did come from a woman who hasn't put much in her butthole, but she does have hemorrhoids, so maybe she knows something.

[Ryland]

Oh, this is an awful situation to be in, though. It really is. Because if you get. I almost think, though, better too small than too big. Because if it's too big, you have to spend, like, hours working your way into it all the time.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

And then it's too much and it's like, like a burden every time. At least when it's too small. Ah, this is a bummer.

[Lizzie]

Honestly, asking, though, is there such thing as too small for a butthole?

[Ryland]

I don't know. Have you ever had too small? Have you experienced something on either end? Like, where's Chris's mic?

[Lizzie]

There it is on either end. What is on either end?

[Ryland]

Well, I mean, being a top or a bottom, I'm not going to say, like, I don't know.

[Lizzie]

Is your penis too small, Chris?

[Ryland]

I think it's kind of weird. I think it's five. I think your penis is fine.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Ryland]

But I've been. Yeah, my first boyfriend had a very, very small penis, but it was my first boyfriend. It was my first time bottom me and stuff for. So for me, it wasn't an issue at all. And I feel more similarly to Ryland where, like, too small is not really an issue. Too big is an issue. But I do know bottoms that are like. That are like, girl, if it's not like eight inches, I don't want it. Like, I have met eight inches. You know, I have met bottoms that, like our size queens that want girthy and like. But I'm. I'm more in line with Ryland, so I don't just leave that whole stretched mama. As a woman is, though. Is there too big?

[Lizzie]

Because they can for your vagina? Because they can.

[Ryland]

Like, a baby can come.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, but you're going through contractions.

[Ryland]

Yeah, I mean, but we don't know about vagina.

[Lizzie]

Too big for a vagina.

[Ryland]

Okay. And. But you haven't had experience where someone's been too small.

[Lizzie]

No, I've absolutely had experience where someone's been too small.

[Ryland]

And is it just a bummer or like.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, fucking bummer.

[Ryland]

Oh, no.

[Lizzie]

Especially if you, like, end up hating that person and you want to hurt them.

[Ryland]

Yeah, but what if you want to be in a long term relationship with them?

[Lizzie]

I did. I did not want that. But it wasn't because you.

[Ryland]

This guy's nice to her children.

[Lizzie]

I know. This guy's not nice to my children.

[Ryland]

This guy seems like a really good guy. I think that's why I think it's.

[Lizzie]

Worth it to not say your small penis is awful.

[Ryland]

Well, it's one of those things. It's like. It's one of those things you can't come. Come back from.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And it's. And.

[Ryland]

And honestly ruin his confidence in the.

[Lizzie]

Relationship, and he can't change it. So I would lean into. I love when you work with your hands. I love when you use your mouth and try my butthole.

[Ryland]

It's something you're gonna have to encourage him to do the most of what feels the best. And if that's, in the end, not enough for you, you have to question how much do you value sex in a relationship? And are you going to have to seek it somewhere else Else?

[Lizzie]

No, no.

[Ryland]

I'm saying if she can't be. Success sexually fulfilled by this man. It is something you have to ask yourself, is this. Can I be unfulfilled sexually for the rest of my life? You have to ask yourself that.

[Lizzie]

I guess.

[Ryland]

Isn't that awful? I mean, it's an awful position to.

[Lizzie]

Be in because I'm in love with them now. After everything you've said about how good he is, I'm like, no, you deserve a good man. And maybe those other men weren't good because they did have big dick.

[Ryland]

Direct him. I think directing him is the best way. You cannot. You cannot call out the penis size. It's like telling somebody that they're, like, overweight. You just can't do that. No, you can be like, let's go on walks together, or let's like you.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God, you're toxic.

[Ryland]

No, I think you can, like, encourage a healthy lifestyle, but you can't say, like, I'm not attracted to you because.

[Lizzie]

You'Re fat and you can't say your dick's too small if you like the person. If you don't like the person, you can say whatever you want.

[Ryland]

Okay. I hope we helped. I'm having an. I don't think we did.

[Lizzie]

Put it in the box. Put it in the butt.

[Ryland]

Put it in the butt. I'm sorry you don't have a prostate, but Lizzie thinks it might still feel good.

[Lizzie]

Well, women like it, right?

[Ryland]

I mean, friend. Loved it. My friend Melissa loved it.

[Lizzie]

Did you put it in her butt?

[Ryland]

No, I think we're putting it in the.

[Lizzie]

Did you just drop her name?

[Ryland]

I mean, she's very open about it.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God.

[Ryland]

It's not like we know who Melissa is.

[Lizzie]

Well, now we know it's Chris's Melissa. And what if his friend group watches this.

[Ryland]

Whatever. What? Nobody was thinking about Melissa in that way before you.

[Lizzie]

Now we've said about three times, four times.

[Ryland]

Melissa loves it by the ass. Maybe this girl could call Melissa. All right, what's your last name? I'm having an almost 30 crisis and honestly. Are you listening? No. Listen up. I'm having an almost 30 crisis and honestly, everything in life just feels slightly dot dot off.

[Lizzie]

Amen.

[Ryland]

Especially work.

[Lizzie]

Wait, she's only almost 30?

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Get out of here.

[Ryland]

Especially work. I have a job that has absolutely nothing to do with my passion and it's slowly crushing my soul. But since I wasn't born into a wealthy family, I feel like I should just shut up and be grateful for my paycheck. Have you ever gone through this existential meltdown? Any advice or should I just have a baby to fill the void in my heart? Kidding. Kind of would love to hear your thoughts. Also, I just need to say my favorite episode of this sip was Lizzie's story about her sobriety. It was so beautiful. I still want to acknowledge and thank her for being so open about about it. Vulnerability.

[Lizzie]

Thanks. All right. I will say I I out loud all the time. To Joe, say like I have that icky feeling again. And that icky feeling is just like a disease within my whole body where I'm just like, ah, this something is not right. Like I just feel uncomfortable and not good in my skin. And part of that is because of anxiety and stress or like work or something that is not sitting right with me. Like I. I haven't accepted life's on life's terms in that moment. And that's what makes me uncomfortable. Because there are things we can change and then there are things that we can't drastically change. So I have to like radically accept the things that I cannot change.

[Ryland]

And with that I do believe we are people that are capable of anything.

[Lizzie]

Correct.

[Ryland]

I think a lot of us sent set mental blocks that keep us from unlocking our next next achievement or our next goal. And I'm guilty of that too. Sometimes I'll be like thinking of my long term goal and if I'm really, really being honest with myself, I can acknowledge that I've put blocks in front of me keeping me from that next step. You know what I mean? And it's like I was thinking back to when I first was able to break into entertainment news and hosting shows and I was bolt and crazy and I was.

[Lizzie]

You were nuts in the most beautiful world.

[Ryland]

Anything that was possible, I like for the company. I wanted to work at. I was relentless. I made a video like, these are the top five reasons you should hire me.

[Lizzie]

I was just thinking about that video. When I said that, I sat down.

[Ryland]

I like wrote a script. I said, these are the top five reasons you should hire me. I found the address to the building. I went to the receptionist and said, I know that it's crazy for me to ask for the boss, but I would love that if you could give this to him next time you see him. Great. I did that. Didn't work work six months later? No, but I'm saying six, six months later there was a job posting. I reminded them of that. Like I just tried and tried and tried until I got myself in that door. And I think a lot of times we think things aren't possible and we're stuck in this dead end job or we're stuck in thinking that this is my reality. I really think that if you want something, you have to put your foot in front of your next and make that happen in your time off. It's not going to be comfortable, it's not going to be easy, it's not.

[Lizzie]

Going to be comfortable.

[Ryland]

But I think we know in our guts what, what's right, what we're passionate about. And I think.

[Lizzie]

And you're better at a job that you're passionate about and you excel more in a job that you're passionate about. We've been talking about this a lot at my house lately because it's like you can't live for free, so you have to have an income. But if we're talking about like maximizing your financial potential, you're not going to maximize your financial potential if you're accepting the lowest job that you can get. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

And sometimes you do just need to take the lowest job you can get because you need to eat, period.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

But when you get that job, you cannot settle and die in that job. You have to be working for yourself for free, for the job that maximizes your potential and your potential earnings. Anything less and anything that you're going to succeed at, you are going to be passionate about.

[Ryland]

And so I would say to you, if you have a job that doesn't allow you to pursue your passion outside of it, I would find a different job that does allow you. Like, to me, I had to wait tables because that opened up my days.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

I had to run food because that opened up my days. And you're taking a gamble. You're not taking a gamble. You're doing Something uncomfortable in the short term to better yourself in the long term.

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Ryland]

So I think you have to start by being honest with yourself. What do you want in your life? And make a roadmap to get there.

[Lizzie]

Here's the other thing. So you say, make a roadmap to get there, but that can be frustrating, right? It's like, well, bro, if I knew how to get there, I'd be on my way.

[Ryland]

I think you write down three actionable steps you can take this month.

[Lizzie]

I know, but hold on, let me. Let me get to that part, because I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm just breaking that part down a little bit more. What I do is I say I want to be here. I want to be at point B. And then I reverse engineer studying off the people who are where I want to be, and I figure out, what did these people do to get there? And then I think, how can I emulate that with what I have at my disposal? Because I might not have everything that my. What is it called? Heroes or whatever. Like, whoever I'm emulating, I might not have everything that they had at their disposal, but I am incredibly capable when I set my mind to it, and so is everyone. The second you stop wasting your time thinking, I can't do that, and you start spending your time thinking, how do I do that? That you can achieve something.

[Ryland]

And when you make something, your world, you start pulling in the pieces. Yeah, You'll. You'll start with one thing, and then you'll meet somebody that will give you access to. Like, the world will fall together if you're really falling into it.

[Lizzie]

Do you remember we used to say we wanted to be so busy that we had to schedule our bathroom breaks? Do you remember that?

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

And we. We literally had fucking nothing. Like, we were. Were very. You know what I mean? Like, if you look at. And I think about this all the time, I've actually had it on the docket. Like, sometimes I miss the hunger of literal hunger.

[Ryland]

Do you know what I mean?

[Lizzie]

Like, you and I one time had to split a side of Mac and cheese because we couldn't afford to buy more than a side of Mac and cheese. Do you remember that?

[Ryland]

Yes. I mean, that's the. And sometimes I'll even question now that I'm at a different point in my life life. Sometimes I'm even thinking, well, to get something different than what I have, if what I have isn't what I want, you essentially have to start at the ground level again. I'm not saying Sharing a thing of Mac and cheese. But you have to be humble to the fact that, like, it's a different arena. You have to start in a different place. Just because you're good at one thing doesn't mean that you're allowed access to the top at another thing.

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Ryland]

So it's always a revolving door of, I'm trying whatever you want to do.

[Lizzie]

And there's power in being uncomfortable, because when you're uncomfortable, you're willing to do more. You're willing to do more. And I actually. To tie this back into my sobriety, one of the things that I, like, pray for within my sober journey is God keep me desperate. God keep me at the bottom of my desperation so that I am willing to do whatever I need to do to stay sober and mentally healthy.

[Ryland]

Right?

[Lizzie]

Because the second I get comfortable, I'm like, I can blow off that part of my program. I can blow off that. I'm fine. I can blow off that part of my program. Program. And before you know it, everything that's good that keeps you from feeling like, the disease that you feel in your body of, like, I feel yucky. What do I do? Should I have a baby? You know, those things, all of that goes away if you're constantly working in a positive mental space. So I guess my roundabout advice is figure out what's making you uncomfortable and then tackle it with positivity and optimism. And when you start doing something that you're passionate and in love with with, everything seems to fall into place. I used to be so uncomfortable. I hated myself so much that I hated everybody around me. And I was like, why doesn't anyone want to be near me? It's like, oh, I don't know, girl. Maybe it's because you hate them. And the second I chilled the out and was like, what do I want? I want to start living my. My life for myself. I want to do these things. I want to be this kind of person. I want to be a person of esteem. I want to be a good person. I want to be kind. And when I started doing all that stuff, I started liking myself.

[Ryland]

And it's not easy.

[Lizzie]

I mean, but the second I started doing that, the world opened up.

[Ryland]

I. I agree with you. And I think it's. It's. It's. Change is never going to be easy, especially a big change. But in the long run, it's going to be worth it. It's why I think I was so motivated to move to California, because I thought I could. I could. I could be me. You know, and I think you should give yourself access to whatever you need to be able to. To authentically live as you.

[Lizzie]

Yes. So I also think if you're thinking about having a child. I am. Every day. I am so, so, so grateful that I did not have a child before I figured my out. Because I get to show up for my kid in a way that is like so rewarding, I think, for both of us. And I'm never tired of it and I never resent him for it because I have self actualized enough. Like I'm not like fully realized, you know, I'm still chasing.

[Ryland]

But you set up your life in a way that a baby is right for you in this moment.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And I. And you know, that doesn't mean you're at a financial place. That doesn't mean that you're at a professional place. That means that your, your mind and your heart are straight and narrow.

[Ryland]

Your intentions are. Because.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm also. I'm a psycho. And I'm like a big fan of like have more babies than you can afford because I'm sick.

[Ryland]

Well, I. We were at 38 minutes and we were at 58 minutes. Oh, girl, we have to go.

[Lizzie]

Talk to you later. Bye.

[Ryland]

How did we talk for an hour?

[Lizzie]

You did the Oprah thing at the end.

[Ryland]

Talk to you later. Vulnerability. Hello, you guys. Good morning. I thought we would sponsor our own podcast today. I know you've already heard us talking about our Patreon, but if you haven't ventured over there to actually check it out, I just wanted to discuss our offerings for you because it's honestly become a very fun place to be right now. You can hang out with us for an additional 20 to 30 minutes following every episode of the SIP. That's four videos a month. And then we're also pumping out at least two vlogs a month, if not three or four. We're honestly having so much fun. I'm also doing Day in the Life videos over there, which is stuff I typically don't post on YouTube, but it is so fun. Just let you into our lives a little bit more. And at least once a month we're going to post a vlog of this two of us doing something together. There's also a member exclusive chat. It's a group chat called the Chugger Chat, where we're all constantly communicating about anything and everything. We're currently working on Merch, which should be live within the next month. And Lizzie and I are also going to do four live streams A year. Obviously no pressure to join, but if you want more of us, then you can find us over on patreon.com Ryland Adams or the link is listed in our description section below. Check it out. Have a good time. If you don't want to subscribe or can't subscribe also, no worries. Everything here stays the same and I hope you all enjoy the rest of today's podcast.

[Lizzie]

Bye.

[Ryland]

Are we the most beautiful here? Lizzy looked gorgeous when she was vlogging herself like this. It's all kind of even right now. Oh my God. They pre decorated.

[Lizzie]

I think it's Chinese New Year.

[Ryland]

Wow. It's worth Lunar New Year. Okay, so we're at the mall. It's not a holiday today.

[Lizzie]

No, ma'am.

[Ryland]

The concept is trying everything at the food court, which for us means each one of us goes to whatever restaurant of our choice and we just get a bunch of fun stuff and we all eat lunch. Do you guys frequent this food court? No, I think Chris does. I'm here often, but I'm honestly at the social more. But I'm at this mall a lot. A lot. Okay. Okay. So what's in here? Oh, there's a Chipotle.

[Lizzie]

A Chipotle?

[Ryland]

It's a Shake Shack, but it's gone. The Shake Shacks.

[Lizzie]

Oh, damn. That is empty as hell.

[Ryland]

Oh, wow.

[Lizzie]

You know what else is here? They have the same Italian kitchen that they have in every mall.

[Ryland]

They have Brazilian food. Charlie Subs Panda Express. I do love Panda Express. Oh no. What are we going to do? I feel like I should try something I've never tried before.

[Lizzie]

I feel like we've all tried, tried everything.

[Ryland]

I don't. I haven't tried a lot of.

[Lizzie]

Well, they haven't really changed it up since the 90s. Like everything here is what it's always.

[Ryland]

How often are you eating at this food court? I never eat.

[Lizzie]

As a 35 year old woman, I've been to quite a few food courts and it's never different. There's always like a sort of like Mediterranean option.

[Ryland]

Oh, so you don't think the concept's interesting?

[Lizzie]

No, it's related.

[Ryland]

My husband, who's been. It's relatable. Taco Bell has new desert desserts. I know, but we go to Taco Bell every week and I was like.

[Lizzie]

Should we just go to Taco Bell?

[Ryland]

I think let's do. Let's stop at Taco Bell on the way home on the Patreon because I have to try those things. This is where we split up. You guys, I always forget that they have blazed pizza.

[Lizzie]

I can't split up.

[Ryland]

I love Blaze pizza. And they only have it at the mall, but it's downstairs. Yeah. Is that technically the food court? It's right there. I need Blaze pizza. Is my choice. Does it work?

[Lizzie]

That's against the rules.

[Ryland]

Screw you guys. I'm going to. It's gotta be in the food court. Dibs on Blaze pizza.

[Lizzie]

What the fuck?

[Ryland]

Dibs on Blaze pizza. I mean, you. You want to spend three hours going to each place together? Are we trying to get things that people don't normally get? Whatever you want, you get. I might just do Panda. Yeah, I think that's on Panda. We. Have we ever done Panda? On the podcast. We wait in it, though. We're Lizzy, just afraid to be separated from us and leave us. She left us. Wait, where? She's over there. The woman that was like, I can't be alone just walked away from us. She left really fast. She's sneaky. Okay, I'm leaving. I'm leaving them. I'm getting pizza. Wow. I love Blaze pizza. If there's something about me, it's that I love Blaze Pizza. Here we go.

[Lizzie]

I ended up getting a falafel vegetarian.

[Ryland]

I went off on my own. Wow. I feel really weird doing this on my own. I also feel really weird vlogging in public. If you ever have to take out a phone and talk to yourself, it's horrifying. I have very bad anxiety doing this. The more that I'm talking, the more anxious I'm getting. I'm gonna put you away. Okay, bye. So apparently everyone wanted Panda because this is, like, one of the only places in the entire food court that has a line. I feel like Lizzie and Rylan probably got their food already, and I'm still waiting. Okay, you guys, the food court, it was just so, so freaking loud.

[Lizzie]

So, so freaking loud.

[Ryland]

It was so freaking loud. Take one. Common work. Wow. This is not a wide angle. You're gonna have to fight for your life to get into that angle. What did you get, Elizabeth?

[Lizzie]

I got the subpar Mediterranean. The disappointing Mediterranean.

[Ryland]

That does look disappointing. Why would have you sold us on disappointing Mediterranean? Through it and then got it.

[Lizzie]

Oh, damn. I realized I a parsley salad, but I can't eat parsley.

[Ryland]

Yeah, we need to be close.

[Lizzie]

The yuckiest pizza.

[Ryland]

What do you mean, the yuckiest pizza? It's the hot one with hot honey. You're disgusting if you don't think that looks good.

[Lizzie]

No, literally, you're disgusting.

[Ryland]

You're disgusting. And everyone, everyone's talking about how disgusting.

[Lizzie]

Everyone literally. I got calls earlier today from your mom saying, do you notice how disgusting my son is? I said, yeah, dude.

[Ryland]

What? My mom, who's coming to town on Wednesday. Wednesday when this episode goes live. Thank God my mom and my sister are coming. So I'm gonna convince them to be on this show, this program next week.

[Lizzie]

So I got the vegan falafels because I figured that was something that everybody could enjoy. And I'm gonna dip it in this hummus because they seem dry as hell.

[Ryland]

Girl, we are being looked at.

[Lizzie]

Who's looking at us?

[Ryland]

I mean, who wouldn't look at us? You know, we're like. We like took over the movie theater because we had such a good experience here last time. Honestly, I love it here.

[Lizzie]

They shouldn't have been so nice to us last time cuz it gave like pigeons.

[Ryland]

It gave us false confidence that we could come back and get the same experience. Chris got Panda express. Oh, but he didn't get orange chicken. That's orange chicken. Yes. Yeah, it looks oddly a different color.

[Lizzie]

Well, it's definitely not orange.

[Ryland]

And there's like full mushrooms on that plate.

[Lizzie]

That's something else.

[Ryland]

So there's certain sirloin steak, orange chicken, and string bean chicken. I've never had this. Have some. Can I grab a piece of the orange chicken? I mean, you got. You guys for.

[Lizzie]

I only use chopsticks.

[Ryland]

I prefer my fingers. Oh, I won't touch any of yours.

[Lizzie]

Do you have more sets of chopsticks?

[Ryland]

I. You guys. Forks.

[Lizzie]

Well, you assume we can't eat chopsticks.

[Ryland]

No, it has napkins in it. You assume I can't use my fingers?

[Lizzie]

I don't know.

[Ryland]

Wow.

[Lizzie]

To be fair, Crystal's the only one. Was like, are we getting enough to share? And both of us were like, shut the up.

[Ryland]

Oh no, this turn. Oh, I put it more on you because I'm so in this angle that I wanted you to be the prominent figure in that one. Thank you. The green bean chicken, it's good, right?

[Lizzie]

It is good.

[Ryland]

Really?

[Lizzie]

And you know I don't like panda.

[Ryland]

Well, I need to try a piece of the steak too.

[Lizzie]

Does anyone want one of my dress? You don't like panda?

[Ryland]

I know you don't believe in these, but just in case. Oh no. I hate a mushroom.

[Lizzie]

Really?

[Ryland]

Are you kidding me? You guys have known me for this long and y'know that I hate mushrooms. Wow. Their steak's good too. I love panda. I know you're not into it. But I really like it.

[Lizzie]

The cute cucumber yogurt's okay.

[Ryland]

Okay. I need to try a piece of the chicken now, too. Go for it. Wow.

[Lizzie]

How's your icky yucky salad? Or what is that called?

[Ryland]

Pizza. Well, I think I made a mistake getting the hot honey on it. You're not even gonna try a bite?

[Lizzie]

No.

[Ryland]

What's wrong with you?

[Lizzie]

It looks too much.

[Ryland]

May I try it? Oh, yeah. I mean you to have half of the pizza. What do you mean it looks too much?

[Lizzie]

There's jalapenos and hot honey.

[Ryland]

Yeah, I got the hot one. I like hot mints. I like hot ones. Wait, I like it. Of course. What's not to like? I'm into this. Every ingredient on this is fabulous.

[Lizzie]

It's very hot.

[Ryland]

So you don't like spicy?

[Lizzie]

Maybe not. Well, we. My God, it's so hot.

[Ryland]

This will kill my garden, but it's fantastic. I could do without the. Or I could do hot honey on the side.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, and you should have.

[Ryland]

I should have. Wow. This is great. I think it's really good. Oh, no.

[Lizzie]

Now you're fired. Oh, no.

[Ryland]

I also got their desserts.

[Lizzie]

What you got?

[Ryland]

Which seems like none of you cared about us enough to do.

[Lizzie]

I'm about to die from how hot that is.

[Ryland]

Really? Well, less for you.

[Lizzie]

More for you, you mean. So nobody wants my dry falafel.

[Ryland]

Isn't that the same. Less for you would equal more.

[Lizzie]

Try a bite.

[Ryland]

Try a bite. I'll hand feed you this dry ass falafel. No, thanks. I can see that. It's, like, falling off apart. Okay, I'll have a bite. It's cooked well. Like, I like that. It's crispy on the outside, crumbly dry on the inside. I wouldn't get it, though. What's the dip?

[Lizzie]

Cucumber yogurt.

[Ryland]

Is that good?

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Ryland]

I'll dip my crust in.

[Lizzie]

Please do. And I think this is some Tajin or something.

[Ryland]

There's a group meeting going on.

[Lizzie]

About us?

[Ryland]

No, I think it's like an employee huddle for, like, what's going to happen today.

[Lizzie]

And tabouli. Pretty hard. But I can't eat it because it's parsley.

[Ryland]

I just love falafels. Have a whole ball in general. Eat a whole ball.

[Lizzie]

Chris, can you get a whole ball in your mouth?

[Ryland]

I think I could.

[Lizzie]

Can you get two balls in your mouth?

[Ryland]

I can if we're bragging.

[Lizzie]

No, you really?

[Ryland]

No, I can't. Oh, I believe in you. Thanks, Chris.

[Lizzie]

That was sad. No, I can't.

[Ryland]

That's refreshing.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, it's hitting pretty hard.

[Ryland]

Wow. It's very refreshing. You're not supposed to eat it. It's a dip, right? I don't know.

[Lizzie]

It's yogurt.

[Ryland]

It is. Can I double dip, please?

[Lizzie]

Go, Chrissy.

[Ryland]

Well, maybe get a bite. Oh, you're already double dipping.

[Lizzie]

I barely put my tongue on this.

[Ryland]

It's over for you, Chris. What movies are out? The monkey.

[Lizzie]

What's that?

[Ryland]

It's Osgood Perkins who did Long Legs. New movie. Oh, it's crazy. Very different than Long Legs. It's like a comedy.

[Lizzie]

I haven't seen Long Legs.

[Ryland]

Do you want another piece of this pizza, Chris?

[Lizzie]

It'll kill him.

[Ryland]

Dude. I shouldn't.

[Lizzie]

Don't do it.

[Ryland]

Let him live. He's gonna die on Monday. We have to find joy in something. This isn't joy.

[Lizzie]

He's going to complain the whole way home.

[Ryland]

I'll be back at home tonight. The hospital, I mean. Yeah, if you're going to the hospital, then don't take that. I can't take that responsibility. I love it.

[Lizzie]

He loves it. You love spicy.

[Ryland]

I love spicy. And I love Blaze because it's like a thin crust, but it's still crust. It's not like a non thin crust. I agree. Can you imagine the doctor one day just being like, like, oh, you can no longer ever have spicy things. You're just not supposed to anymore. That would be hard. And no tomato. I could live without tomato and lemon.

[Lizzie]

You are a lemon king.

[Ryland]

I squeeze lemon into my water all day long. Wow, this is spicy. And this is delicious. Why did you choose that?

[Lizzie]

I don't know. I was hot. And when I was first there, I ordered the kebabs and then I was like, what am I doing? I want the falafels. I changed my whole order at the last minute. I was like, sir, I know this is so annoying and you just rang me up, but can you please refund me for everything? No, no, we didn't make it that far. I did say cancel my order and get me those dry ass falafels.

[Ryland]

Okay, I take it back. I like the hot honey.

[Lizzie]

Wow.

[Ryland]

I love Blaze Pizza in general.

[Lizzie]

Who owns it? Isn't it a basketball guy?

[Ryland]

Is it.

[Lizzie]

Isn't it like the basketball guy? What is his name?

[Ryland]

Shaquille O'Neal.

[Lizzie]

No, it's not Lombard. What is his name? He's like the basketball guy.

[Ryland]

I don't know about the ball. Sorry. We don't live with straight men.

[Lizzie]

I mean, even I know about him?

[Ryland]

Really? LeBron James?

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Ryland]

Does he own this joint?

[Lizzie]

I think so.

[Ryland]

Am I straight? Who owns Blaze Pizza? LeBron James is a part owner and spokesperson for the chain. But Beto, for a name I can't pronounce, is the owner. Owner.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Ryland]

Well, can I say I'm straight going forward? Yeah. Yeah, go for it. Wow.

[Lizzie]

I don't know how that's going to help you.

[Ryland]

Yeah, I don't know what you're going to get out of that. I think. I think we're better off as gay people. We're better off. I think we've got more going for us. Oh, sweet. I like that, actually. Wow. I love it.

[Lizzie]

Well, guys, is there anything else?

[Ryland]

Why do you hate us?

[Lizzie]

I don't hate us.

[Ryland]

We were having so much fun on the Patreon.

[Lizzie]

This episode's gonna be like an hour and 30 minutes off.

[Ryland]

Oh, my God, you're right. So let's try these desserts and get out of here. Do you like a brownie? I don't like a brownie with chocolate chips, if I'm being honest.

[Lizzie]

Me neither.

[Ryland]

I prefer just a brownie to be a brownie. Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Get those landmines out of here. They hurt.

[Ryland]

I'm a. It's there because it's warm. They're gooey, so that's fine with me. It's not for me.

[Lizzie]

That's a no for you, dog.

[Ryland]

I like a chewy, gooey. What is this?

[Lizzie]

A falafel brownie?

[Ryland]

I mean, listen, if somebody.

[Lizzie]

This is chewy.

[Ryland]

I know it, but it's not for me. I mean, I would eat the whole thing if it was what I had in front of me. Yeah, but I'm not grading it. A 10 out of 10.

[Lizzie]

Oh, I'm not mad at it.

[Ryland]

I also got. Oh, look at this.

[Lizzie]

A s'more.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Oh, damn. You didn't even make a meal out of that. Pull.

[Ryland]

What do you mean? Sorry.

[Lizzie]

Pull it again.

[Ryland]

You want me to pull it again?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. See what I'm saying?

[Ryland]

Oh, we got a little one. Do you like a s'more?

[Lizzie]

Typically speaking, no. Does anyone?

[Ryland]

I love s'mores. I always act like I hate them. Oh, I'm fine. I have. Have. I always act like I don't like s'mores, and then I eat a s'more and I'm like, oh, I like s'mores. I love s'mores. I feel like they're underrated.

[Lizzie]

There's nothing charming about a store bought s'more, though.

[Ryland]

No. Making a s'more. Yeah, I Really? I like it. I have the marshmallow.

[Lizzie]

Pretty good.

[Ryland]

Wow. I think it's better than the brownie. I like that it's an the mall, I think, where the Japanese restaurant where you cook your own food, like on the. On the open flame, and then they give you s'mores at the end and you make s'mores together. Why don't we ever go there? Yeah. What's it called?

[Lizzie]

Is it here?

[Ryland]

It's in the middle, I think here. Or the outdoor one. I think it's here.

[Lizzie]

Sounds like we should be going there.

[Ryland]

I agree. All right, you guys. Well, if you want to continue the party, we're having a lot of fun on the after sip on Patreon. I forced us to film half of it before we even did this section. Cuz I was having so much fun in the car.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, we were all having a great time.

[Ryland]

I can't help that you're a bad camera woman. Oh, my God. That s'mores was incredible. That s'mores is pretty good. Wow.

[Lizzie]

It's like this Humphrey cozy thing, and even when you swallow it, you're like, I love the way that feels going down.

[Ryland]

I love all of it. That was from Glaze? Yeah. Wow. Isn't that crazy? I saw the promo when I was checking out and it got me and I was like, add on the brownie. Who cares? Wow. All right. Thank you so much for watching and supporting our show. All of our links are in the description section below. And again, if you want to hang out with us some more. Actually, I'm going to post the after sip on Thursday because I know I'm just reiterating again, it's not live right now because I thought give you the hour and a half to digest the sip on Wednesday and then you come back for more on Thursday. I feel like it might just be a little too much if you're getting like two plus hours in one day of us. So that will be live tomorrow. Thank you so much.

[Lizzie]

I have a vlog live right now.

[Ryland]

Oh, and it's a good one? Well, I haven't seen it, but the thumbnail and title are good.

[Lizzie]

Thanks. That's all your husband that's up.

[Ryland]

It's actually on the end screen of this video. So if you do want to continue on with us, click on Lizzy's vlog in like 10 seconds from now. All right, thank you so much. We love you very much. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. And that's the sip.