Tasting EVERYTHING at TACO BELL! Viral Menu!!!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Tasting EVERYTHING at TACO BELL! Viral Menu!!!"

Episode Title: Tasting EVERYTHING at TACO BELL! Viral Menu!!!
Release Date: April 2, 2025
Hosts: Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon

---

1. Personal Conflicts and Relationship Dynamics

The episode opens with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon engaging in a light-hearted yet animated exchange about personal attire and podcast dynamics. Lizze expresses frustration over Ryland’s interactions with their friend Chris, leading to a playful argument about setting boundaries and responsibilities within their friendship.

Notable Quote:
Ryland Adams [00:39]: “No, I'm cool, confident and relaxed. So confident and relaxed.”

---

2. Celebrity Gossip: Hilaria and Alec Baldwin

A significant portion of the discussion centers around the reality show featuring Hilaria and Alec Baldwin. The hosts express skepticism about Alec’s role in the show, suggesting that Hilaria dominates the dynamic. They critique the authenticity of their relationship as portrayed on television.

Notable Quotes:
Lizze Gordon [09:05]: “We're very similar to Hilaria Baldwin in that way.”
Ryland Adams [10:11]: “I don’t hate you guys that put you on fire.”

---

3. Lizze’s Parenting Challenges and Relationship Struggles

Lizze shares her struggles with managing a sick baby and the lack of support from her husband, Joe. The conversation delves into the difficulties of balancing parenting duties with personal well-being, highlighting Lizze’s frustration with Joe’s unresponsiveness and the strain it puts on their relationship.

Notable Quotes:
Lizze Gordon [02:16]: “He didn't seem well. Like, my baby rages. And so he wasn't feeling good.”
Lizze Gordon [03:22]: “You came with solutions. You came with problems.”

---

4. Traveling with a Sick Baby and Social Interactions

The hosts recount experiences traveling with Lizze’s sick baby, Billy. They discuss the challenges of maintaining routines, dealing with public perceptions, and managing social obligations like attending baby showers. Lizze narrates an incident at the Oakland airport where her anxiety about the situation led to emotional distress.

Notable Quotes:
Lizze Gordon [14:11]: “Dead Aunt Patricia.”
Lizze Gordon [18:16]: “I do."

---

5. JoJo Siwa Appearance and Public Perception

Ryland and Lizze critique JoJo Siwa’s recent appearance, particularly her choice of wig, which Lizze finds unappealing. They discuss the reception of her appearance and the broader implications for her public image, blending humor with candid opinions.

Notable Quotes:
Lizze Gordon [17:58]: “JoJo, I love you. I hated that wig, girl. It was not good.”
Ryland Adams [13:16]: “I love it, you're so nice.”

---

6. Addressing Social Media Dynamics and Celebrity Relationships

The conversation shifts to the volatile nature of social media interactions, particularly focusing on the public scrutiny of celebrity relationships like Justin and Haley Bieber’s. They debate the ethics of public commentary and the impact of constant online attention on personal relationships.

Notable Quotes:
Ryland Adams [39:19]: “They have a child together.”
Lizze Gordon [42:34]: “Do you know what I mean?”

---

7. Tasting Taco Bell’s Viral Menu Items

The core segment of the episode features Ryland and Lizze enthusiastically tasting and reviewing Taco Bell’s latest viral menu offerings. They order a variety of items, including toasted cheddar street chalupas, caliente nacho fries, and Doritos Locos tacos. Their tasting experience is filled with humorous banter, critiques of flavor profiles, and playful teasing about each other’s preferences and eating habits.

Notable Quotes:
Ryland Adams [63:28]: “They look like a savory donut.”
Lizze Gordon [73:37]: “I can’t look at you.”

---

8. Interactive and Playful Banter During Tasting

Throughout the tasting segment, Ryland and Lizze engage in playful interactions, joking about each other’s eating techniques and reactions to the food. Their chemistry showcases a blend of camaraderie and friendly rivalry, making the tasting experience entertaining for listeners.

Notable Quotes:
Ryland Adams [74:26]: “They’re so cute. Hold on.”
Lizze Gordon [76:25]: “She’s got a Drunk Face.”

---

9. Navigating Public Health and Personal Well-being

Lizze discusses her recent health challenges, including managing her breastfed baby's vitamin D drops and dealing with her own physical discomforts. The hosts provide insights into the complexities of parenting while maintaining personal health and household management.

Notable Quotes:
Lizze Gordon [34:18]: “Can you check the couch and make sure that there's no.”
Ryland Adams [35:19]: “How is that not educational?”

---

10. Closing Remarks and Final Interactions

As the episode concludes, Ryland and Lizze continue their humorous exchanges, touching upon topics like fake pregnancy stories and the frustrations of public miscommunications. They wrap up the tasting segment by expressing their love for Taco Bell’s innovations and teasing each other’s habits.

Notable Quotes:
Lizze Gordon [83:24]: “You deserve. And I think you're a horrible person.”
Ryland Adams [84:15]: “We love you very much. We'll see you next week.”

---

Conclusion

In this engaging episode of "The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon," listeners are treated to a blend of personal anecdotes, celebrity gossip, relationship dynamics, and an entertaining tasting of Taco Bell’s viral menu items. The candid and humorous interplay between Ryland and Lizze offers both relatable content and vibrant discussions, making it a must-listen for fans seeking uncensored conversations on pop culture and everyday life.

---

Note: All timestamps correspond to the moments within the episode where the notable quotes were mentioned.

Transcript

[A]

Seriously. Cut. Cut.

[B]

Cut that out, Chris. Cut it out, Chris. Okay, okay.

[A]

Chris complimented my hoodie that Lizzie was begging me to take off.

[B]

Girl, I was not. You said, should I change? I said, no.

[A]

There's video evidence on the Patreon.

[B]

I don't know if that's.

[A]

I'm not fighting with you today.

[B]

I'm not either, because a couple of girlfriends who are super lucky, perhaps even the Luckies girls in the world.

[A]

I am coming. Oh.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Can you hear us equally?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

No, I'm cool, confident and relaxed. So confident and relaxed. I didn't even think about this podcast for one second until you showed up.

[B]

You're welcome.

[A]

So what's going.

[B]

Oh, you said, roll sound. Roll cameras before anyone was.

[A]

Well, there was high energy going on, and I was just like.

[B]

Because you wrote a nasty headline, and then you forgot that you wrote a nasty headline, and then you thought I wrote it, but you were like, I love this headline. It's like, no, it was you being nasty.

[A]

You write a headline about you.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

The next headline is the one I was referencing.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

But first, let's address the elephant in the room. Elizabeth did play hooky last week, girl. She sent me into a tail spin for not showing up for the podcast. And then I realized her baby wasn't even sick.

[B]

My baby was sick.

[A]

Call your husband.

[B]

I.

[A]

Okay, call him and put him on speaker and sh. And put him in.

[B]

You're so crazy. He's probably waking baby up right now.

[A]

Put it to the mic.

[B]

I'm gonna have to let him know I'm recording first. We're in California.

[A]

Do rules apply to your husband like that?

[B]

Yeah, he's a Californian. He's literally not gonna answer.

[A]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

No, it's my husband. He doesn't answer anything for me.

[A]

Your husband hates you, obviously.

[B]

This is so bad. This is so bad for your optics. Joe, your call has been told you Dark.

[A]

Dark.

[B]

Yeah. He literally responds to nothing, and it's personal.

[A]

Lizzie got me all worked up saying her baby was sick. And then she was like, but Joe doesn't think he's sick, so it's fine. And then a couple hours later, she said.

[B]

Joe said, I don't think he's sick either.

[A]

Maybe he is. I don't know.

[B]

No, Joe said I was overreacting because when I noticed that Billy had a runny nose, I was scared because I was like, is this gonna get worse? And also, Billy is like a high energy guy, and he was so lame. He was like, laying like this on me and, like, folded over my lap and just laying there, just sort of kicking his leg lamely. And I was like, this is not my baby. Like, my baby rages. And so he wasn't feeling good. He looked sick. Like, it was sad. Like, he would sneeze and snot would come out, and he was having snot bubbles. And my friend Kate said, when your baby sick, you have to feed on demand because it helps them and they need to stay hydrated. So I was like, well, I can't leave him.

[A]

Fine. I had a great time.

[B]

And not once was he like, I hope Billy gets better.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

The entire time Billy was sick, the first time my baby was sick, Rylan's like, well, what the fuck am I going to do? My babies can't get sick.

[A]

I literally didn't put what I was going to do on you at all. I just said, you can't come over. Are you kidding me? Pull out the receipts.

[B]

You don't want me to. You don't want me to.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Because I came correct, girl. I came with. I came with solutions. You came with problems.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Yeah, it was just like, you just.

[A]

Like, I'm cool, calm, and relaxed in.

[B]

Writing out loud right now.

[A]

Wait, I never said. I just said, you can't come over with a sick baby. But it turns out you were just playing hooky and having the best day of your life.

[B]

No, I mean, it was a very cute day. It was a very cute sick day. I will give you that. And I do feel like I was very nervous for no reason. Like, babies get sick. They just do. And I was tripping. I was like, well, I'm never doing the podcast again. I have to stay here and hold my child until he's 92. Those are my plans.

[A]

Yeah. When my babies had the flu, I definitely just had to sit there and hold them.

[B]

Well, I didn't know what to. I didn't know what to expect, and I didn't know what to do. And I was trippin. I was like, oh, my God. You're like, what do we do? Like, what do we do? And he's like, I don't think it's that bad. Cause, like, literally, Billy was just laying in my lap or, like, laying with his head on my shoulder. It was very sweet. But Joe was like, it's not that bad. And I was like, no, it's gonna get worse. And it just never got worse. Thank God. So that's good. But we ended up having a pretty cute day. Like, he took a bath.

[A]

Juice. He's in. He had a runny nose.

[B]

I think he was sick. He didn't seem well.

[A]

Whatever. It doesn't matter. I'm glad you had a great week off.

[B]

Stupid. And then the whole day I'm dealing with my sick baby. Rylan's like, we're going shopping with the boys. Me and Chris and Shane and Spencer and any other gay man we could pick up along the way getting into our new car. We're going bowling, and I'm giving everybody a shopping spree.

[A]

It was a penis party. And you know what? It was a great time. We ended up filming a vlog from my regular vlog channel. And, yeah, the winner of the bowling. The. The winner of bowling got to go on a shopping.

[B]

You literally text me all the day while I'm dealing with a sick baby, and he's mad at me for it. He's like. He's like, so, what's the deal? Then at the end, the nastiest thing was at the end of the day, he's like, see? You're just a hater now. Crazy.

[A]

I don't recall it in that same way.

[B]

It's in writing.

[A]

Pull it up.

[B]

Do you really want me to.

[A]

I want you to pull it up in the break and show us in the car, because I can't handle.

[B]

We're never gonna.

[A]

We text so much. Write yourself a reminder. We text so much, it would take you three hours, like it just did, to call your husband that didn't answer.

[B]

I told you he wasn't gonna be.

[A]

Texted like, okay, babe.

[B]

No, he literally won't. Oh, I'm on sleep mode. Let's see.

[A]

No, there's something wrong with you guys in sleep mode.

[B]

Joe always has his phone on sleep mode, and it pisses me off when I actually need him because I'm like, turn your fucking phone off. But in moments like this one. Whatever.

[A]

I just don't trust you people that put your phone on sleep mode. What? Why do you need.

[B]

But you also get mad at me if my phone goes off during the recording.

[A]

Just put it on vibrate and put it face down.

[B]

What you get? Has he not gotten mad at me multiple times? Well, because vibrates. Who's not texting you? Is it Kaiser Permanente? Change your contacts. Don't have your friend in there. It's her name.

[A]

Because you open. Because you open it and get distracted by it, and then you're absent.

[B]

Sometimes I don't.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Ryland is Hilaria Baldwin.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you started watching the reality show.

[B]

I saw a single clip where Hilaria and what's his name, Alec, are on the red carpet together.

[A]

Oh, do not paint me in that light. I saw.

[B]

No, that's you. So Hilaria Baldwin and Alec being a.

[A]

Total bitch to her husband. Baldwin. Yes, I. No. Are you kidding me? I could actually murder you right now.

[B]

That's so weird.

[A]

That was the worst.

[B]

Do you know what this energy reminds me of?

[A]

Hilaria Baldwin. I can't believe I'm the crazy one today. Have you met yourself?

[B]

No, I'm nuts to butts, kid. I'm not saying I'm not. But you are.

[A]

Like, I almost need to open and react to this. It's that crazy, this interview. Because Shane and I watched the first episode because I was just like, what is this going to be?

[B]

Can I tell them what it is?

[A]

The reality show?

[B]

No, the clip that you're responding to right now.

[A]

Well, I think this is good context before we get into the interview. So they have a reality show of their life. They have something like seven kids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All living in an apartment in New York City. Granted, it's a huge apartment, but it's just like, he's old.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And has, like seven young kids. She's 20 years younger than him. And he's just, like, sitting there zoning out while seven kids are, like, acting like it's a zoo at their house. Because it's like, there's no rules.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, there might be rules, but it's like, with seven kids, what the fuck are you going to do?

[B]

I mean, I've heard on a few different responses to the show that there are no rules.

[A]

Oh, I only saw. I only consumed the first episode. And it's basically just her trying to figure out how to get all seven kids in different cars to get them to their Rhode island or whatever, their Hamptons house for the summer. And it's like, wow, that's a lot of kids.

[B]

It's a lot.

[A]

But anyways, the whole time we were watching it, Shane and I just kept thinking, like, why is he doing this? He doesn't need to do this. And it's clearly because this is what she wants to do. She wants her moment. She wants to have this show. She's like, I've been through thick and thin with you, and this is what I'm asking of you to do. Do it.

[B]

Literally do it. And he's like, okay, what does she have on him? Like, does she. Can I go. I mean, she's about to go really dark.

[A]

The mom of his seven kids.

[B]

Yeah, but like, she. But why did he let her have his seven kids? Do you know what I mean? Like, what does she have over him?

[A]

She's young and hot.

[B]

That's all it takes, I guess. I used to be young and hot. I used to have that kind of power. Look at me now. I think middle aged.

[A]

I don't know. I'm not saying they married for money. I don't know anything about them really. But I'm just saying you're better off living your truth and happily, because I don't. If you were hypothetically to marry for money, it's never gonna end well. Like, you're never gonna. You're gonna hate your life.

[B]

You're probably gonna hate your life, but you'll end with money. It's like any job, really.

[A]

Yeah, but treating your life as a job is dark. We exploit our lives for a job.

[B]

We're very similar to Hilaria Baldwin in that way.

[A]

So anyways, in promotion of the show, I thought it was interesting because after I watched the first episode, I was search. None of the main outlets took her. Like she wasn't on GMA or anything, but her and her husband did walk a red carpet for something. And the two that Alec Baldwin was.

[B]

Just reduced to hilarious husband.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

I just thought that was crazy how that rolled out.

[A]

When and where.

[B]

Just out your mouth.

[A]

Oh, it was cool.

[B]

I thought it was cool. Feminist. I thought it was very forward.

[A]

Well, she's clearly running the show right now. Yes, he can still work for sure. But like, in this moment, it's her world and he's living in it.

[B]

Well, tell them about the clip.

[A]

And so they're getting interviewed and every time he talks, she just barks, shuts him down, and then angrily gets mad on camera and says, you never say it. Right? You never let me talk. You just.

[B]

No, literally. It's so real too. She goes, you don't get to talk while I'm talking. You don't get to talk. And she's like doing her accent and she's like. He shuts him down in a way where you can tell his feelings are hurt. And then he just leaves this. You're a winner. Oh, my God. When I'm talking, you're not talking. No, when I'm talking, you're not talking. This is why. Yes. We'll have to like, just cut him out of the show. No, no, I mean, I think it's. This is a really raw show and it's very real and we took a lot of chances.

[A]

Shannon, you can visit a little him. Shane and I have a rhythm and a role and we're bopping and doing it together. I would never do an interview and be like, Shane, shut the fuck up. I'm talking. I'm loud and I talk a lot. But I don't think I'm.

[B]

I don't think you've ever been intentionally nasty and I was teasing you.

[A]

I don't think she thought she was being intentionally nasty. I think it just showed their relationship is not strong.

[B]

Well, that's what I was gonna say.

[A]

I.

[B]

She hates him.

[A]

Hates him.

[B]

And he was.

[A]

I don't hate Shane. I love him very much.

[B]

No, I don't actually think you're hilarious, Baldwin.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But this was crazy. She was so sincere, sincerely nasty. And he was being so sweet.

[A]

He was, yes.

[B]

He was like pumping her up. He's like, she's very good. The show is very good. Like you're gonna see it unwrap. And it's like his talking points were on Brand, like they were on message. And she goes, you don't get to talk while I'm talking.

[A]

It was crazy.

[B]

Awesome.

[A]

It was crazy. Wow. Okay, so you and Billy traveled for the first time. Did he go on his first plane?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is what got him sick.

[B]

What?

[A]

This is what got him sick.

[B]

I just don't think he would have been sick immediate. Do they get sick that fast, two.

[A]

And a half days later?

[B]

No, it was the day of. It was Sunday.

[A]

Oh, he got okay. I. I mean, I don't know.

[B]

But honestly asking, do they get sick immediately?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

No, I'm asking them and I'm okay. So you guys tell me, do they get sick immediately?

[A]

Maybe.

[B]

I don't know, cuz I don't know. I just want to know because I also let him roll around on the floor at the mall and suck on the floor at the mall.

[A]

So I think to an extent that's good. Like when we the plane to Colorado, I was letting them talk everything, cuz.

[B]

It'S like, did they get sick?

[A]

They didn't.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

The only time they've ever been sick is when somebody came to our house with a flu.

[B]

And then they got the flu.

[A]

And then we all got the flu.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's like, what are you doing coming to our house with the flu? No, I could kill all of you if you come. That's why, like when you were like, billy sick, I'm like, stay the fuck away from us. Like I am down.

[B]

Don't talk to us.

[A]

I'm down with the regular germs of life. I. I'm letting them touch, lick, play. I want them to build up an immunity, but it's like, if you know you're sick, just stay the away.

[B]

I heart. What is it called? I agree with that wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedly. I also didn't mean to say it was awesome what happened with Hilaria and Alec. It just sort of came out wrong because I have no brain anymore.

[A]

I mean, it's one of those things where it's like you can't take your eyes off of it because you can't believe it's happening. So it was saying, like, it's awesome. It's an awesome piece of context content because you can't believe it exists.

[B]

It was so gnarly. I actually did have to look away.

[A]

As if I was the publicist of them, or if I was them, I would be begging, I would be paying, I would be taking clip off the Internet.

[B]

In the clip, she says, delete that.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Don't use that. Like, what do you think?

[A]

That's why I can't be a reality star. I have to be in control of.

[B]

The edit because Would you say you're a little bit, like, hilarious?

[A]

Not. Not towards Shane, but towards life.

[B]

Right. So we got really lucky. I flew by myself. Oh, my God, this is great. I'm glad we're bringing this up because I have to have a conversation one on one with somebody who watches the podcast.

[A]

Okay. Hey, girl, do you want to call them? Maybe they won't answer.

[B]

No, I don't have a problem.

[A]

Are you planning to wear these out and about in the world?

[B]

I knew you were gonna be sipping.

[A]

Did you bring real shoes?

[B]

No, girl, I just brought these shoes.

[A]

We're after sipping.

[B]

What? So who cares?

[A]

You're gonna wear those around town?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

In the rain?

[B]

I know. I didn't realize it was fucking raining. Let me live.

[A]

I know that you're dead Aunt Pat. Try saying that five times.

[B]

Dead Aunt Patricia.

[A]

No, dead aunt. Dead Aunt Pat.

[B]

Yeah, they're my dead Aunt Pat slippers.

[A]

Say that four times.

[B]

I bought them for her and then she gave them back to me.

[A]

You bought those?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she hated them.

[B]

No, she died.

[A]

Oh, and she gave them.

[B]

Gave them back to me after she died.

[A]

Well, who?

[B]

She left them to me.

[A]

God, I fear this is my hilarious moment.

[B]

I do, too. Cut that, he says. I just walk away into the background, start talking to a publicist like my feelings aren't hurt. So I took Billy alone to Oakland for My friend's baby shower.

[A]

Not to start drama.

[B]

What? What?

[A]

Well, among your friends.

[B]

Oh, did you want to stand up for one of. They both listened to the podcast.

[A]

Well, hey, Kate, you know, I've been having my feelings hurt for you for weeks now because Lizzie couldn't make it to your. What do they call a second baby shower?

[B]

No, it's a daughter's birthday. As her daughter's third birthday.

[A]

Oh, I thought it.

[B]

Oh, it was Cody's birthday.

[A]

Okay. Lizzie couldn't drive her ass two hours to her best friend's birthday, but she's three hours. But you could get you and Billy's ass on a plane to go to a different friends one weekend later.

[B]

To be fair, sick, the flight and the trip from the airport to the party was under three hours.

[A]

Okay. My feelings are just hurt for Kate and I travel far and wide to go to a different event.

[B]

And I am. I am going to Kate's house with Billy. Billy.

[A]

Yeah, right. I'll believe it when I see it. Okay. Can you not fly there?

[B]

No, I wish I could fly there. Driving to San Diego is a bitch and a fucking half. It is so close. But if you don't leave after bedtime, it is a three and a half round.

[A]

Like even us going to Knott's Berry Farm took two and a half hours. It's only halfway there.

[B]

Yeah, it's.

[A]

What are you guys doing?

[B]

What are you guys doing to us? I can't deal with a fucking baby. Like, when I'm on a plane, I can hold the baby and he can nurse and it's like, it's all very chill.

[A]

How was he on the plane?

[B]

He was awesome. Oh, this is what I've been trying to say. So I got really lucky. I saw a beautiful lesbian couple and they had a nine month old baby. And so I just was like all stand next to them. Turns out they were on the same return flight as me too. But the one mom was leaving the other mom to stay at this wedding that they were going to. So it was just me and this other mom and our two boys on the way back. And if you have two babies in a row, they won't let someone sit in the middle. So we got a whole row to ourselves.

[A]

Did you ruin the relationship?

[B]

No. But I did.

[A]

Do you have her number?

[B]

I did follow her on Instagram and.

[A]

I said, did you follow her wife?

[B]

No.

[A]

This is getting weird.

[B]

Why is it weird? I didn't have as much of a conversation with her wife. Her wife couldn't sit with us. She had to sit.

[A]

Did you disclose you're a lesbian? I feel like if you're sitting next to somebody's wife and you're attracted to them, you should tell them.

[B]

Should we mark this as another hilarious moment? Me, the bullying.

[A]

I'm not the one that sends jojo Siwa clips endlessly.

[B]

The woman is shocking sometimes, and I would like to talk about her with someone who knows who she is. And no one else I know knows who she is.

[A]

So she's going on tour.

[B]

Are we going? Okay, so we're going.

[A]

Do you think she'll give us access to the $900 pre show?

[B]

What's the $900? Preach.

[A]

You sent me a clip about it. It's the only reason.

[B]

You have to remember I watch everything with no sound.

[A]

So then why are you sending me things you don't know about?

[B]

I just. Sometimes they're flashy and exciting visually.

[A]

And she is that. Oh, my gosh. Did you see her dance break when she announced her tour?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That woman gives it all. She exerted more in that one dance break than I have in my whole life.

[B]

Here's the deal. I sent you that because the wig, the Gay Pride Trans Pride wig she put on was really bad. And that's what I wanted to talk about.

[A]

You don't. Are you trying to now ruin her? Coming on this podcast, slandering her?

[B]

JoJo, I love you. I hated that wig, girl. It was not good. Everything about you is good except for that wig.

[A]

Okay, back to the mom.

[B]

She would have to agree. I think in retrospect, she would have to agree.

[A]

What was the baby's name you were sitting next to? Because I have a neighbor that's a lesbian couple that has a nine month old boy, Miles. Oh, not them.

[B]

Well, they don't live here. Anyway, on the way back, what did.

[A]

You like about her?

[B]

She was just cool, soft skin.

[A]

She called her baby taller than you. Was she taller or shorter than you?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Are you the dominant one? Of course.

[B]

We have to play this game. I'm probably the dad.

[A]

You're hilarious. Yeah, for sure.

[B]

For sure you are. But what am I?

[A]

Who's gonna carry the next baby? I have some embryos.

[B]

Oh, your next baby.

[A]

Yours?

[B]

What are you talking about? I'm carrying my own baby.

[A]

There's two women in the solution.

[B]

No Scenari solution.

[A]

There is no problem solution for Joe not picking up your phone. This woman who's marriage you're wrecking.

[B]

Oh, my God. So I was leaving Katie's baby shower and I was Just foot clumped, you know, Like, I'm so proud of her. Like, sad and, like, happy. It's like just a big emotion.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. And I.

[A]

It's a beautiful word that you brought to us on this Monday morning.

[B]

Thank you. And I'm f. Klempt. And I'm, like, crying in public because when am I not?

[A]

Who taught you that word?

[B]

I think it's Yiddish.

[A]

So it's not even English?

[B]

No, I think.

[A]

And you expected me to know that?

[B]

I don't even know.

[A]

You just said it right in my presence.

[B]

I just feel like people know.

[A]

I feel like Kate's also offended.

[B]

I don't think Kate would be offended.

[A]

By me saying, come on, she did you fucking wrong. She went to another. Kate traveled far and wide, but just left you high and dry.

[B]

Every bitch I know is named Kate. That's not unique.

[A]

Is this woman that you're about to marry named Kate? Tell us the truth.

[B]

I don't know her name. I can't remember it now.

[A]

You followed her on Instagram and you can't remember her name? You're gonna be like that guy on Love is Blind. That was like, I can't remember if I followed her or not. I didn't ruin the marriage. I didn't even follow her, did I?

[B]

I mean, I know I followed her. I just don't know her name.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Anyway, I'm crying.

[A]

Was she hot?

[B]

Don't make me talk like this. Whatever I say is not gonna be okay.

[A]

Okay? Was she butch or was she femme?

[B]

She was like a woman. She was just like any woman. You know what I mean? Like, she didn't fall into a butch or femme category. She was a woman.

[A]

Not unique. Okay? Not memorable.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

I mean, whatever. I've been watching American Idol, the ones that are memorable.

[B]

She's really hot. She's super hot.

[A]

Can you believe I'm acting like an 80 year old watching American Idol for the first time ever?

[B]

Can I finish my fucking story? So I'm crying in the airport, no one cares. And it's like, you know, I wasn't gonna finish my story, and now all I can see are the comment section being like, shut the fuck up. And I'm sick of hearing her.

[A]

Oh, no, they're gonna be so mad at me. They hate when I don't let people face.

[B]

No, they literally only hate me.

[A]

It depends on the week.

[B]

I don't know. It feels like a very consistent message of hate.

[A]

And here's what I want to say. Sorry I'm derailing your story. Again, it's okay.

[B]

Wait.

[A]

But I feel honored that you guys are engaged if it's hate or not. Because you know what? I was really reflecting the other day and I was like, this is going to be five years of this podcast. We're so old and people are still watching this. It is hard to get views on YouTube. It really is.

[B]

Oh, should I?

[A]

And so the people. The volume's not up. That's the wrong one. Anyways. Watch. She just stopped recording because she's doing this with her feet.

[B]

Chris was just.

[A]

Okay, you're clemmed at the airport for clubs. Oh, my God. For klempt.

[B]

For klempt.

[A]

Now it's sounding wrong to me. And I didn't even know the word. How dare you do this to me?

[B]

So I'm crying in the airport and I'm on the phone with my husband being like, it just is so hard that we don't live next to any of our friends and I can't just like bring my extra dinner over to their fucking houses. And let's like sit. I live 45 minutes away from here.

[A]

Can you move the fuck over here, girl?

[B]

You know I'm trying, okay?

[A]

I love it over here.

[B]

Crying in public. As I'm crying in public, I hear Lizzie. I'm like, oh, no. Tears are in my eyes. Like, I look so crazy. Someone I know, it doesn't matter. It looks crazy no matter what. And I turn around and I'm. I've got Billy. So I look like a really unhinged person, you know, I mean, like. And not only that, but there's a life hack to the Oakland airport because everyone in Oakland is just constantly flying locally, like with Southwest. Because if you're going to do international, just go to sfo. Anyway, the life hack is you get dropped off at international and then you walk hella far to the southwest gate that you're trying to go to. Because there's no line at the international security. And there wasn't. I literally walked right through. It took two seconds. It was che way chiller than in Burbank. But then I had a 10 minute walk. And so I'm walking and I'm like, I've got the baby on me. And I'm wearing those dumb Asics shoes that I was wearing that one time. I almost missed the flight in Colorado. Remember, Chris, I said, I will never wear these again. And I wore them again to an airport like a dumb.

[A]

You traveled in them after.

[B]

I'm such a idiot. I know in my heart of hearts these are not the travel shoes. But I was like, thank you.

[A]

You would have been better in the dead Aunt Patricia shoes.

[B]

I would have been just as.

[A]

Is it offensive when I say it like that? I respect her, by the way.

[B]

Oh, no, I know you do.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We love Patricia.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Since we're on the topic, you guys, I've been recently trying to raise more awareness and money for the pulmonary fibrosis period. And you can give a donation in Patricia's name, which I know is something that she would really appreciate. So last week, I think on my vlog, I had James tally up every time I swore, and I gave $5 for every curse word foundation.

[A]

Are you gonna do that on this podcast too? No, it will come out of the page.

[B]

I can't afford that. Oh, if it comes out of the Patreon, we can do it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Chris has to tally up the swear words.

[A]

No, that's a nightmare. We'll just make a nice donation. So join us. The link will be in the description section below. Do something you can feel great about.

[B]

I also think I'm gonna do a walkathon.

[A]

Okay. How long is that?

[B]

I don't know. I have a meeting set this week to talk to the representative over there about going to San Francisco and doing the walkathon.

[A]

We have to travel. Can't we?

[B]

I would do it. I mean, I think you. I don't know.

[A]

I'll do it if you do it here.

[B]

I'll let you know.

[A]

Okay, back to your story that I've derailed.

[B]

Eight years ago, I derailed it as well. And now we're back. So I'm crying. I hear Lizzie a turn. I look, and it's Ashley. Thank you for watching Ashley. And she has a child with her too. And I was like, I'm just crying because I felt like it was like the elephant in the room. I was like, there's tears on my face. I know there's tears on my face. Just tell this person you're crying. I was like, I'm just crying. She's like, I'm sure I'll hear about why on Monday. And then I wasn't on the podcast.

[A]

Which makes it even worse.

[B]

It look real dramatic. And so I was just crying because I missed my friends. Ashley. Just normal sadness. Shout out, girls, you had a great pickle sweater on.

[A]

And so why were you there in Oakland?

[B]

Yeah, For Katie's baby shower.

[A]

Okay, so I'm getting the Kate's confused.

[B]

Well, they're both. It's Kate and Katie.

[A]

I know it's confusing.

[B]

So Like, Kate is who I wronged. Katie's the one whose shower I attended.

[A]

Okay? And doesn't she already have a baby?

[B]

Katie has multiple babies.

[A]

Okay, see, I can't keep them straight.

[B]

She has two children, one of which is Mark the water king, AKA office manager.

[A]

And did you really just show up to show off, Billy? Did you steal the show?

[B]

No, no. It's not my fault if my child shines.

[A]

This is why women make their baby showers babyless.

[B]

I have to bring my Barnacle Bill. He's breastfed, and I don't have a supply right now.

[A]

You barely allowed babies to your baby shower. Do you remember that?

[B]

No. I said, all babies are welcome to my shower. Sarah was the one who was like, we don't want any babies here. And I was like, it's about. Bab was like, bring the babies.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah. I'm pro baby at every event.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I was recently invited to a wedding where babies aren't allowed and the couple literally has a baby.

[A]

That's. I have a problem.

[B]

That's crazy. And I don't want to be judgmental, but you guys literally have a baby and you don't want him at your wedding? He's not going to remember. I'm like, you. I can't go. I have a baby.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Like, what the fuck? They're like, he's going to be at a baby rave in Vegas. It's fine. I'm like, what?

[A]

I want them dead.

[B]

I do, too. They're beautiful. They're a beautiful, sweet, happy family. They were very sweet to us when we had our baby. They're one of Joe's best friends.

[A]

But you are the asshole in this scenario.

[B]

No, that's crazy. What are you guys doing? Have your baby at your wedding, you weirdos. What the fuck?

[A]

Is Joe gonna go without you?

[B]

Joe and James are gonna go, and I'm gonna stay home.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm gonna go to a mommy rave by myself in my house, alone, for the weekend. And while my husband rages his face off and doesn't take my calls in Vegas.

[A]

Is he still not checking in on you?

[B]

I'm, like, embarrassed to keep checking. Yeah, no, please. You know, he doesn't respond to me. You know he loves me. He's a really good man. He's a good man. I'm embarrassed.

[A]

Okay. What has he done to piss you off this week? Let's just.

[B]

He. No, he's been so good.

[A]

My. What did he do, though?

[B]

He's been. No, I like. I like. I'm, like, madly in love with Him. He gives me butterflies like I truly am. I'm madly in love with him, and he gives me butterflies.

[A]

This mother.

[B]

I knew there was something, and I.

[A]

Haven'T even heard about it.

[B]

No, I, like, literally can't do anymore. It's abusive. Like, he does not.

[A]

I know, but it's.

[B]

There's 100,000 people who know.

[A]

Wow, you're degrading us to 100,000 people. This is like 200,000 people.

[B]

This is 200,000 people who know. That's more people than. We're at the Arrows tour concerts every night, aren't we?

[A]

So no kidding.

[B]

I'm just like, okay. So he does this crazy thing.

[A]

Hold on, let me get my peach cup out.

[B]

Yeah, let me. Let me have some electrolytes really quick. Really quick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, no. It went down the wrong pipe.

[A]

What do we think of raspberry?

[B]

This is karma.

[A]

Does it taste a little like cough syrup? Oh, no, you're just breathing. You're breathing it so you don't know the taste yet.

[B]

My nose is gonna start running excessively.

[A]

This tastes like cough syrup. We can never do the raspberry. This will be the guest one. I'll write guest on it. And you don't have access to the other ones. This is expensive. These electrolytes.

[B]

He brought out these electrolytes as if they were a gift to me and waited like 30 minutes to be like, oh, these aren't for you. These are just for the house.

[A]

Now they're for you, but they're staying at my house. Okay, Joe.

[B]

Okay, Joe. Beautiful man. Love him.

[A]

So cute.

[B]

So helpful. So sweet. Truly the sweetest. Always trying to solve people's problems. Cannot wake up for the life of him. This I have baked him. We got in a huge fight. I said, I need you out of bed at 8am and that's final. Just get out of bed at 8am Every day. 8:36, 8:40 rolls around. I've been up since 6, prepping the house, taking care of the baby. All I ask is for 8am today. I. Here's the deal. Sometimes he goes, it's so crazy. My alarm's just been going off, and it's just so quiet, I can't hear it. It's not crazy. It's the norm. It's every day. And then I say, it's every day. And he goes, no, it's not. And I go, okay, if it's not, then what the is this? Where Repeatedly yesterday, today, the next day, the day previous, and the day before that for a month and a Half. It's been exactly the same. What do you call that if not every day? So this morning I thought, you know what, it's Monday.

[A]

You always like to start drama with him on a Monday.

[B]

No, I was like, let's have.

[A]

I'm saying. But did you confront him about this today? No.

[B]

Let me tell you what I did.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

I noticed it was 7:58. I thought, you know what? Joe loves a cute wake up. I was like, he's not gonna wake up for the alarm on his phone because he never fucking does. So I pick up the baby and I say, let's go wake up daddy at 8. So he has no fucking excuse this time. The phone alarm's not gonna go off. Cause it never goes off. Cause honestly, did you set the alarm? Is an alarm set for eight or are you just manifesting an 8am Wake up and doing nothing else to bring it to fruition? So I bring the baby in, we rub his tummy, we give him kisses. Billy's rubbing his tummy. It's so cute. Billy's literally, hand on his tummy, rubbing it. I'm like platting him on the tummy. Billy's patting him on the tummy, we're kissing him.

[A]

Is he dead?

[B]

No. He wakes up, he goes, oh, that's so nice. That's so nice. And you know, I'm. I'm saying it's 8 o'clock, wake up. Because every other time I come in, I go, it's 8:50, get up. And I thought, this is a nice way to do it. It's 8 o'clock, wake up. Here's some kisses. All that. Guess what time he comes out? Strike that. He never fucking came out. I had to go back to the room. I went, It's 8:36. Get up. He goes, it's so weird. My alarm never went off. Can you believe? And I go, it's okay. I'm so chilly. It's okay. Just get out of here.

[A]

Get out of the room now.

[B]

Leave the room now. I need help.

[A]

I've just learned in the same way that Shane's never gonna like, go to sleep at the same time as me. He's never gonna do the morning shift.

[B]

No. And that's fine.

[A]

And so now I use mine as a bartering tool. Like we barter at night. Okay? He's like, well, what time do you need me? And I'm like, what do I need from him?

[B]

Right?

[A]

And then I'm like, you can have X amount of hours if I get X.

[B]

Right?

[A]

So I've Just because I was doing the same thing as you. Like, being angry, rageful, and then I'd, like, hold it against him for the day. And, like, I mean, I'm not saying that's what you're doing. Like, you're just like, get the fuck up. Yeah, I would hold it against him.

[B]

Well, I just know how awful it is for someone to wake up to someone being like, get the fuck up.

[A]

Yeah, but what am I supposed to do?

[B]

No, that's my point. I'm like, why can you not get up? Like, what is the. What is between you and us? That is so. That is such a restriction that you cannot. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

Yes, I do. And, like, the thing. I know I'm not. I know I'm not.

[B]

It's a weekday, bro.

[A]

I'm not technically a mom, but I play the mom role. And sometimes I'm just like, do you just not have to do these things? Because you know it will be taken care of, so. But it's like. Like, if I didn't. If I just decided I didn't, then no one would.

[B]

Well, Joe hasn't connected that part yet because I try to point it out. I'm like, do you notice that the house gets dirty when I don't clean it? He goes, that's not true. And then I'm like, I know you're not actively gaslighting me, but you are. You are the definition of a gaslighter. And it's confusing to me because I know that you're not trying to do it, but you are really good at it.

[A]

How do they just not mind the things? You know? Like, for me, it's a mental to do list that if it's not done, I'm going crazy inside. And Shane has that same thing, but not for the same things that I have.

[B]

He has it for his emails.

[A]

For his emails? Yeah, for things that are priorities to him. And I'm like, but how is our household and our livelihood not of the same caliber? Oh, no.

[B]

Now I just realized I need him to check the couch and make sure that there's no. How do I send a voice memo?

[A]

Just talk to text.

[B]

I can't. Oh, it's working. Hi, can you check the couch and make sure the vitamin D drops aren't in it? Thank you.

[A]

Call us back.

[B]

No. So that was one of the things I need help with because I breastfeed Billy. I put vitamin D drops on my nipples every morning, but it's hard for me to put the vitamin D drops back on the Counter where Icky can't get them. So a little vial is on the couch that Icky can eat and ingest. And that's not good for Icky. And Icky does want to eat and ingest it because he's a glutton for negative attention. And so part of him being Joe, being up at 8am is so that he can. That's when I search the baby so that he can hand me the fucking D drops and I can put the D drops right back up where they need to be. But when you're not up at 8am, there's nobody to put the drops back. And it's on me to now also remember while breastfeeding. And my mind is blank because I'm breastfeeding to put the drops back. And I forget every time. He's like, you really need to put these drops up. You really need to wake the up at 8am, period. It's also like, wake up at 8am, like, what are you doing? It's Monday. Get out of bed. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't give a fuck if you have nowhere to be. Get up and get out of bed.

[A]

Oh, do you have a gym update for us?

[B]

Yes, I went to the gym twice. Oh, and then my baby got sick and then I got my period. What do you want from me? I can't go to the gym on my period. Are you going to the gym on your period? That's crazy. I can't go to the gym on my period.

[A]

I think you're setting unrealistic goals for yourself.

[B]

Well, it's the only time I can go.

[A]

Electrolytes are making me burp.

[B]

They're making my face run like I've just eaten mushrooms or something. Like I've tried not to sniffle.

[A]

Okay, Chris Hemsworth regrets not taking a photo or regrets taking a photo with Billie Eilish?

[B]

Yes, he does. He says they'll never be friends now.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Because he's embarrassed.

[A]

Oh, because he did the fan girl thing and now he's ruined it.

[B]

Yeah, he's like, we were colleagues and now I'm just some fan who asked for a picture. So we'll never be friends now and he's embarrassed.

[A]

What would they do together?

[B]

Yeah, what were you and Billie Eilish gonna do together?

[A]

Chris, in your fantasy, how is this friendship gonna play out?

[B]

Yeah, I think you're better off as a fan, honestly. Period.

[A]

I get the Chris's confused. Like, I get your Kate's confused. There's just too Many of them.

[B]

Who do you think Chris Hemsworth is.

[A]

One of them that acts in Hollywood?

[B]

No, but which one?

[A]

There's, like, too many. The only one that I.

[B]

You gotta guess. Which one is he?

[A]

The only one that I distinctly know is Pratt.

[B]

I know, but which one is he? Get. Just guess. Which one is Chris?

[A]

One of the annoying ones.

[B]

No, but which one is he annoying? Name a superhero he's played.

[A]

Oh, I can't do that.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

I don't even know.

[B]

Come on. I think your guns are getting tired, man. You're dead. You're dead. You have a whole family you just left behind over that. Do you want me to save your life right now?

[A]

Is he annoying?

[B]

No, he's really cool, actually. He's the preferred Hemsworth. What do you mean there's a few of them?

[A]

Are they all Chris?

[B]

No. Okay, But I was thinking I was gonna name all my babies Billy.

[A]

Well, I was seriously considering after having one margarita for the first time in six months, I'm naming my baby daughter that has not yet born. Name Riley the same dog as my dog.

[B]

Oh, that was you texting me.

[A]

It was confusing.

[B]

Was that you or Shane?

[A]

Both of us.

[B]

Which one said Riley, though?

[A]

I think that was me.

[B]

Oh, well, now I like it less.

[A]

My Ray Rye.

[B]

Your Ry.

[A]

Rye.

[B]

Okay, when I received the text, I thought it was from Shane.

[A]

How does that change anything?

[B]

Well, because Shane and I. I thought Shane and I were bonding over wanting to name our daughters after our husbands.

[A]

Oh, no, he does not. Like, he won't even call Riley his Rye. And I'm like, what's the point?

[B]

All this time, I'm just talking to my best friend.

[A]

It was confusing. I was drunk texting Lizzie, and then Shane took the phone and was like, it's Shane. Now he's drunk. And then I was taking the phone. It's confusing. She was texting all of us.

[B]

I didn't realize you wanted to name your daughter after yourself.

[A]

My dog.

[B]

Right. I know that it's your dog, but it's also you.

[A]

Riley is very different than me.

[B]

Riley is not far off from Ryan, especially if you're gonna call her Rye. Am I wrong? Am I wrong?

[A]

But if it was.

[B]

Because then I was like, I want to name my daughter Joey after Joe.

[A]

Oh. And then Shane was like, I've always wanted to name my daughter Joey.

[B]

So we, Shane and I were seeing eye to eye on Joey.

[A]

Yeah, you were.

[B]

Okay, well, we could have Joey's.

[A]

I don't know. I'm really.

[B]

I don't know. I just Want to name all my children after me? Kind of. You're not nodding.

[A]

Okay, you wrote not to be that guy, but can everyone leave Justin alone? Yeah, if he's having a mental crisis. What are you going to do about it?

[B]

No, what are you going to do about it, though?

[A]

How are you going to help? By noticing who unfollows who immediately. Honestly, can't we have these conversations privately? What? You're making this public. Well, continue like we do about everyone we went to high school with. Instead of these tabs in these tabs tabloids. Okay, so what's going on?

[B]

No, I just feel like it's cuckoo nuts because like every five seconds they're like, justin unfollowed Haley. Haley unfollowed Justin. Justin. I followed Haley. Haley. No, they don't keep doing that. Justin, I guess, deactivated his account or something. And then they were like, he unfollowed Haley or Haley unfollowed him.

[A]

They have a child together.

[B]

Yeah, I don't.

[A]

Just relax.

[B]

And also, like, like, what are you gonna do about it?

[A]

I saw on the Patreon everyone was telling us to watch the seven part Tick Tock series about how Haley stuck Justin or something.

[B]

Oh, I'm sure she did.

[A]

Whatever she manifested hard. And you know what? That resulted in her having his child. And I'm sure he knew about it and he still liked her.

[B]

Yeah, if you know about it on Tick Tock, guaranteed he knows about it. And guess what, you guys, I like the raspberry electrolyte.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, it's cotton candy.

[A]

Oh, there was a cotton candy flavor at Tutti Frutti the other night.

[B]

What is Tutti Frutti?

[A]

Yeah, it's a frozen yogurt place.

[B]

Oh, you guys love that.

[A]

Yeah, it was. The cotton candy flavor was delish.

[B]

I could see it.

[A]

It was so good.

[B]

Because I like to pretend like I don't with cotton candy. By the way, my whole leg is numb. What is that about?

[A]

I just think you guys are all jealous of Hailey Bieber. Yeah, she lives a fabulous life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She has Justin's baby and she doesn't.

[B]

Look like she had a baby.

[A]

I just think everyone's out here walking.

[B]

Rocking midriff already, and it's like, damn, I should have done this sooner.

[A]

Wow. And she did have the baby, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. I'm just saying.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

I mean, not to start a theory.

[B]

Well, you think she had a surrogate.

[A]

And she just was wearing a. No. I mean, this is crazy. Yeah, that's like starting drama for no Reason when I love her.

[B]

No, do it behind her back to just privately. What are you gonna do about it? Let's talk about it. Like all the people we talk about who went to high school with.

[A]

I don't talk about the people I went to high school with.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Who have I ever brought up about high school with with you?

[B]

No one. And that's why I'm shocked to hear about Maddie 10 years down the road.

[A]

We didn't go to high school. We're childhood lifelong friends.

[B]

Oh, God. It goes deeper. Good for her. You never tell Maddie not to go to the gym at 5am what's the.

[A]

Interest in people you went to high school with? Truth.

[B]

I just think it's fun. I don't know. Like, I do know. I do be noticing that people who went to high school with. Like that. Like, how people recognize Justin Bieber. I'd be on the phone, like, did you see that? All the pictures of their wedding are gone. What do you think that means? Like, can you do. I'll have a feeling. I'll have a feeling about someone who has me blocked. And I will call someone who I know isn't blocked by that person. I'm like, hey, can you check in on someone? So I got a feeling they're getting a divorce. And they'll be like, what? I'm like, I would look, but I'm blocked. And you won't give me your login anymore because that one time I was logged in as you, I started having conversations with other people because I forgot I was logged in as you. And it was embarrassing for everyone. That was Kate.

[A]

I can't believe anyone would give you their login.

[B]

Give me her login, Kate.

[A]

Have you not learned enough?

[B]

No, she learned.

[A]

Don't you have all the facts?

[B]

Kate learned because I accidentally started talking to, oh, this guy Grady. Because he DMed her or something. No, I DMed him about somebody getting.

[A]

Put in the weeds. Nobody knows these people back to Justin B. They're all obsessed with. Why are they so infatuated with Justin's mental state?

[B]

I think because he's acting out publicly. But it's also like, what are you gonna do about it? And also, we. No one helped Britney. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, when Britney had her 2007 moment, nobody was helpful in their.

[A]

In fact, it makes it worse.

[B]

It makes it. That's my point. It makes it worse. So if you're so concerned about someone, don't.

[A]

They're not concerned. They love the drama.

[B]

They love the drama. Save it for your hometown. Okay, Well, I had more on there.

[A]

Nothing that I wanted to talk about.

[B]

Oh, wow. You didn't want to talk about Teen Mom.

[A]

Oh, I didn't. The way that you put these in, there's no spacing.

[B]

I know, because on my phone, it's really hard.

[A]

I don't want to do that.

[B]

I figured. But did you want to do the Teen mom one?

[A]

I mean, I know nothing about Teen mom, but you. I'm. Yeah, you're welcome to do it.

[B]

Okay. So the original cast of Teen mom included a mother named Caitlin and her boyfriend at the time, Tyler, who also might have been her step brother, which is a little bit.

[A]

This voice is killing me.

[B]

Oh. I just wanted it to be like, we're in the archives and I'm, like, helping you with the backstory. No. Does it work for anyone? Tell me in the comments below.

[A]

Is this gonna be, like, juicy that I can follow? Without knowing everything, Caitlyn and Tyler decided.

[B]

To give their first child up for adoption. And she was what? I mean, there were two parents.

[A]

They weren't. Okay. It's not like they had the child.

[B]

They were 16.

[A]

Okay. No, no. For some reason, in my mind, this played out like the kid was 2, and then they just decided, we don't want to be parents.

[B]

They just gave it away while they were pregnant. They decided to give the baby up for adoption. So they did. And then every year, they were allowed to see the daughter on her birthday or close to her birthday or just some sort of annual visit. They've seen their daughter through the years. What's interesting about this couple is that they've stayed together since they were 16, and they now have, like, three or four daughters together, and they're living, like, the good life. I was gonna say something, and I'm gonna keep it to myself. Okay. I have to say it. Caitlin's kind of like Tyler's pimp now on Only Fans and makes him, like, post naked pictures on Only Fans, but it's, like, under her name so that she can be in charge of it, which is like.

[A]

Like, dick out.

[B]

I don't know if it's dick out because I don't pay for Only Fans. Slash. Remember when we tried to figure out how to pay for it so that we could see some of these things that we couldn't figure it out?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't know.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I am in a group chat with girls I went to high school with, and we do regularly share screen grabs of, like, when they're promoting Tyler's Only fans.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But Caitlyn is weirdly in control of it. It's. It's weird.

[A]

Okay. Anyway, why don't they just have a Patreon if it's not nudes?

[B]

Oh, no, it's like, it's new. It's him and thongs.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Like, it's only. It's spicy content.

[A]

Why wouldn't she just. Just. Is he hot? Like, are the gay guys after him?

[B]

Well, yeah. And that's another conspiracy theory about this couple, is that Tyler is perhaps interested in men.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And women. Who knows? Anyway, they. The adoptive parents of their daughter Carly, have decided that they no longer want Carly to be part of their lives. So they revoked visitation rights, even though it was an open adoption. And Tyler and Caitlyn have always spoken very publicly about their experience because they've always been on this reality TV show, which they're still on to this day. And they recently discussed that they were blocked on social media by the adoptive parents because they. The adoptive parents said out loud, like, it's not good for my mental health to see what's going on there. And to be honest, I get it. Like, to see a couple that made your child publicly wanting that child back and including them as part of their family is probably complicated and hard and.

[A]

Confusing and hard for the child to understand, too. It's like, we wanted a family. They probably adopted a child because they couldn't conceive themselves or they wanted to adopt a child. It's like they wanted a child.

[B]

Yeah. Like, yeah. So I just thought it was super complicated and, like, a really nuanced situation. Hard for everyone.

[A]

Honestly.

[B]

Hard for everyone. Like, what is the right answer? Like, because they thought.

[A]

I mean, the. I don't know these people, but they obviously thought they were making the best decision for themselves at that time, too. Who knows if they were going to end up together or want kids or be able to provide hide for kids. So they thought. And then looking back, it's like, oh, that was the beginning of. Oh, that's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's. I'd be mentally and emotionally about it.

[B]

Yeah. So I don't know. I just thought it was interesting.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Do we want to. Let's see. We're at 46. Do we want to do. Have we done either of these ones?

[B]

I feel like somebody talked about this a little bit, but I don't think we actually did it. It.

[A]

Okay. How about you read it? Let's get into some advice, though.

[B]

My neck is so tired. And you don't care. You just Keep putting me on the side of the couch.

[A]

Mine just hurt. Looking at you is such a strain.

[B]

Well, I'm never going to look at you again. Hey, Ry. Hey, Liz. This is more of a request of requesting advice for a friend. Sure.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Coworker of mine recently had hooked up with one of his friends, who he later found out that day the friend officially started dating a girl. Chris, is this you?

[A]

A co worker of mine had recently hooked up.

[B]

No, Chris says he has a co worker. A co worker friend that hooked up with a guy that then wound up dating a girl immediately after. I feel like his friend used him to experiment. Or maybe he's trying to cover the fact that he's gay by dating a woman. My question is, should my friend tell the girl? He feels like it would be outing him, but he feels like it feels too close to cheating for him. There's no cheating here.

[A]

Well, do you not remember the whole storyline on Love is Blind where that girl was dating before she went on Love is Blind and he couldn't get over it?

[B]

Yeah, I think he didn't like her.

[A]

I do too. And that was his. He was just using that.

[B]

But he feels like it's too close to cheating for him to not make her aware. Thank you. P.S. chris, I love your laugh. Is this you? Is it you, Chris?

[A]

Here's the deal.

[B]

It wasn't cheating.

[A]

Well, okay, no, I don't think it was cheating, but I think it's something the girl should definitely be aware of. That he was hooking up with the guy before her.

[B]

Who cares?

[A]

Well, I would want to know.

[B]

Do you want the person that Shane before you to come over and be like, just so you know, I him before you?

[A]

Well, if I don't know that, that's crazy. No, listen, for that.

[B]

For a person to come up to another person to be like, I your man. Do you hear it? It's crazy.

[A]

I'm just saying if I didn't know my current partner was bi or gay, it's information I would want to know.

[B]

Oh, I'm not like, what is making that sound? It's me. I. I mean, that's that person's right to get to tell their partner what their sexuality is.

[A]

I know, but I would if I found out three years into the relationship that my partner. There was a potential that they might need to go a different way sexually to be fulfilled for the rest of their life. After I had planned on building a life with this person, I would feel. Really?

[B]

Sounds like they've been together for two Weeks.

[A]

Well, I know, but it's like, you never know where it's gonna go to.

[B]

I think if it got that serious and they were probably gonna spend the rest of their lives together, the guy would probably be like, I also fuck dudes.

[A]

I don't think the person that is in. I don't think the friend is in a position to go tell on. Yeah, but if I was the person that witnessed it, I would have a conversation with the person dating the other person and just be like, does your new girlfriend know that you're bi?

[B]

Oh, you would tell the gay guy that he. You would talk to the guy that fucked the guy, and you would be like, you gonna tell her you fucked Chris last week?

[A]

Yeah, I would just be like, I know it's none of my business, but.

[B]

Like, does she know you fucked.

[A]

Does she know? And, like, are you gonna want to fuck Chris again?

[B]

Like, is it because he shaves his butthole that it kind of reminds you of a coochie so you don't even think of yourself as gay because it's, like, a nice butthole? Because not all women shave their butthole holes.

[A]

You don't. I don't. Like, if Joe also. Dudes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You wouldn't want to know about that.

[B]

I would want to know.

[A]

Okay, so that's what.

[B]

But Joe would have told me already.

[A]

Okay, but if he didn't, it's. Well, I.

[B]

But I don't think anything nefarious is going on, do you?

[A]

No, I don't think, like, it's cheating or anything, but if. Okay, I'm okay. I'm trying to put it into our world, right?

[B]

Chris?

[A]

I just. Chris. Okay, now I'm in a relationship with you. Two days later. Yes, Shane knows about. Shane's not my boyfriend in this scenario. Or my husband. Yeah, Shane knows about it. What's Shane supposed to do?

[B]

Nothing. Shane's not involved.

[A]

Yeah, but you're the one potentially being over.

[B]

Why am I over? If I.

[A]

Because you're dating me, that needs dick fulfillment in my life.

[B]

But if you're also dating me, the assumption is you're bisexual.

[A]

Okay, that's fine, but how? I. I just don't know. Like.

[B]

Or maybe you were experimenting. You're like, am I gay? Let me take a dick real quick. Okay, took the dick. Prostate's pretty cool. But honestly, in retrospect, I'm not a dick guy. I could stick anything up my butt.

[A]

That's why, if I were Shane, I'd come to me and say, like. Like, are you gay? Gay? Or was Were you just experimenting? I would just be curious.

[B]

Why is it. Also, why is it Shane's burden to figure out whether or not you're gay gay?

[A]

Well, it's to protect you.

[B]

Why is Shane protecting me from you being gay gay? Do you. I don't.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Maybe I just.

[A]

Business. I know, but, like, I'm trying to save somebody down the line in this scenario. You.

[B]

Yeah, but what are you, like, fucking gay Batman? Where it's like whenever someone out in these streets needs to be told that someone else is gay, it's your burden.

[A]

I'm not upset.

[B]

Shine the gay bat signal in the sky and you drop, down you go. Just so you know, that guy you kind of like has sucked a dick before, and then you soar off into the night.

[A]

You wouldn't want to know the information.

[B]

I mean, obviously I'd want to know, but why is there a gay Batman?

[A]

Okay, I. I agree with you. Nothing has to be done. But I would hope that me in this scenario would come clean to you. I'm married to a bi person. I'm confident that he's not going to need a vagina. Like, he's not going to have to cheat on me to be sexually fulfilled.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Job, I would fear for you if you end up putting your eggs in my basket, that you would have that information if it was something I was still flirting with. Because you would want to know that my dick's been in an ass. That same dick that's in your bee. I'm not saying anything's wrong with it.

[B]

I might think about where Joe's dick has been. That's outside of my own B or V. Whoa. I get upset. And so I don't really want to know, to be honest.

[A]

Okay. So you're.

[B]

All I know is that I've got a loyalty in my V. And that's okay.

[A]

Chris, if your boyfriend also needed vagina. Well, it's not need. If your boyfriend also wanted to fuck women, wouldn't you want to know about.

[B]

It if your boyfriend had been inside a pussy at one point?

[A]

I feel like it's different in this gender switch. I know. Call me crazy. I feel like it's.

[B]

Which is deeply complicated because I don't know if you know this. I don't know if anyone's told Shane this, but you're gay, so maybe we should. We call Shane and tell him that he's gay.

[A]

My husband?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, he put me in tier two. He was saying, like, if one is, like, super gay, I'm probably Tier two. If three is like. Not that.

[B]

No, we actually talk about this in my house all the time.

[A]

What?

[B]

You're the worst gay.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah. I don't even think you qualify as a gay best friend.

[A]

Okay, so I am just Mom.

[B]

No. Not being gay does not make you a mother. And if, honestly, if there was a gay Batman, you'd already know that. So tell. Tell the girl. Tell the girl. But when you tell.

[A]

How did you just flip flop? This is getting really confusing, but it.

[B]

Comes with a burden. And the burden is you got to tell everyone now. And it's not just about this one guy. You got to tell everybody. Every person that ever. Multiple genders. You got to tell their pre. Their current partner about it. If you're going to tell one person.

[A]

Yeah, I don't think. Listen, if this guy had let me.

[B]

Drink from my rainbow water bottle.

[A]

If this guy had fucked a man three years ago while he was exploring his sexuality and now he's with a woman, I don't think it's information that the woman should know. If it was two days ago and now I'm in a relationship with you, I'm like, okay, well, here's. It seems like you're still exploring.

[B]

Here's a heterosexual hypothetical. I'm in a relationship with two people at the same time because we're just dating. I just met both these guys.

[A]

That's allowed.

[B]

I have sex with one of them. I really, really like this guy. I have sex with him and then I go to dinner with the other guy. And we also have sex, like the next day. Do I. Is it on me to say. Or is it on my friend, rather to tell both men that I'm sleeping with both of them?

[A]

So then you get in a relationship.

[B]

I'm in a relationship with neither, either.

[A]

No, I know, but now you're.

[B]

We break up. I break up with one and I.

[A]

Get in a relationship with another. I think you should say I was dating other people until we became official. You don't have to. I mean, I would like to know.

[B]

That's a given. Everybody's dating everybody. Everybody's dating other people until they're in a relationship.

[A]

Not everyone's actively dating multiple people at a time, though. So if you're like somebody the night before, you get exclusive with another person. But you guys were both dating. It's just information. I, as the person that I'm now in a relationship, would want to know that you were having. So I'm one of the guys?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm the guy you end up with we're exclusive now. But you fucked Chris yesterday. We're all straight here.

[B]

I can't follow it anymore. I'm so twisted up in the game.

[A]

We're all straight. Okay, listen, listen. We're all straight.

[B]

But who is Shane?

[A]

No, no, no. Shane's out.

[B]

Shane's out.

[A]

This is your hypothetical.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[A]

Chris and I are straight. You're dating both of us. You're sleeping with both of us.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

You decide I'm more of a match for you than Chris is. You break up with Chris, become official with me. Yeah, I think it is on you to let me know that you were just dating somebody and you decided were the better fit because it's like conversations you have as you get into a relationship. It's going to come up at one point I severely disagree.

[B]

I maybe cuz he's not even an ex, he's just a guy.

[A]

I, I understand that. I understand. But I prefer open communication in my relationship. And like Shane and I were very clear about who my husband don't talk at all. And maybe that's the difference.

[B]

He won't even take me.

[A]

Even if it was just Chris who you've now broken up with. I would like to know.

[B]

Okay, and so I'll let you know next time.

[A]

So in a guy that's. So if Chris were a woman, I definitely want to know.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

I was just, just I broke it off with the woman I was scissoring with last night.

[B]

My advice is mind your business. This doesn't concern but it's pointing your.

[A]

Business if we're now together and starting potential life together.

[B]

Guy asking for a fourth party, it's. This is not your problem.

[A]

You really got it. You got us all worked up.

[B]

You got us all worked up. And this is none of our business. This is none of our business.

[A]

And I think it's none of the friend's business either.

[B]

No, I know, that's why I'm saying hour. I'm including you in the hour.

[A]

If I was the friend I would go tell talk to the guy that is now in a relationship that had a guy and I just be like, that's crazy. Dude, are you gay?

[B]

But you're he.

[A]

Dude, do you want to.

[B]

I'm gonna say something.

[A]

Maybe I'd hit on him. I'm gonna say just to see if he is gay.

[B]

I'm gonna say something and it's gonna be nasty.

[A]

Well then maybe just contain yourself, okay? What?

[B]

No, I'm just.

[A]

Whatever. We're gonna cut like any second anyway. So if it's too nasty. I'll just cut before the nasty.

[B]

You don't have a lot of friends.

[A]

I don't want a lot of friends.

[B]

That's my point. Which is why you would have no problem going up to someone and saying, that guy's gay.

[A]

Honestly, I think you guys that are in your 30s and have a lot of friends are weird.

[B]

Oh, I know you think that. But my point being is, like, that's not a nice thing to do.

[A]

No, it's none of. It's none of my business.

[B]

No, it's none of my business, and that's my point.

[A]

But I'm worried about your future, and that's okay.

[B]

And that's when you call up your friends and you have that private conversation where you talk about the guy you went to high school with.

[A]

Okay? But now, two years down the line, they're married with a kid on the way.

[B]

That's definitely when you tell him he's gay.

[A]

I would like to know before I. That's why.

[B]

But what if this guy who had a dick one time and realized, ah, not gay, but it was so soon.

[A]

But that's why I would just go up to the guy and be like, do you still want dicks? I don't know. Like, I'm looking.

[B]

And then. And then he says, yes. What's your next move?

[A]

I just. Then I'm like, okay, well, then you should be transparent with this girl you're dating.

[B]

And then he says, I'm not gonna be.

[A]

Then I say, okay, it's your life. I just wanted to put it out there.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Because I do feel bad for you. Now you're gonna have kids with this guy, and then seven years later, the guy's gonna decide he wants dick leave you. Now you're a single mom with three kids.

[B]

I wish I was somebody that I could unpack all of this, because I'm like, what does this mean about the way his brain works?

[A]

I'm trying to save somebody. I think I come from where I think a lot of people. No, I can't do this.

[B]

And we're cut.

[A]

Seriously? Cut?

[B]

Yeah, we're cut.

[A]

Cut.

[B]

Cut that. Chris. Cut it out, Chris.

[A]

Hello, you guys. Good morning. I thought we would sponsor our own podcast today. I know you've already heard us talking about our Patreon, but if you haven't ventured over there to actually. Actually check it out, I just wanted to discuss our offerings for you because it's honestly become a very fun place to be right now. You can hang out with us for an additional 20 to 30 minutes following every episode of the SIP. That's four videos a month. And then we're also pumping out at least two vlogs a month, if not three or four. We're honestly having so much fun. I'm also doing Day in the Life videos over there, which is stuff I typically don't post on YouTube, but it is so fun. Fun just let you into our lives a little bit more. And at least once a month, we're going to post a vlog of the two of us doing something together. There's also a member exclusive chat. It's a group chat called the Chugger Chat, where we're all constantly communicating about anything and everything. We're currently working on Merch, which should be live within the next month. Obviously, no pressure to join, but if you want more of us, then you can find find us over on patreon.com rylandadams or the link is listed in our description section below. Check it out. Have a good time. If you don't want to subscribe or can't subscribe also, no worries. Everything here stays the same, and I hope you all enjoy the rest of today's podcast.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

Elizabeth, you are so drunk.

[B]

I knew you were gonna do this.

[A]

Just get in the fucking line.

[B]

Just get in the Taco Bell line.

[A]

This is the sip.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[B]

I don't care what I'm talking about anymore. I just want to order this Taco Bell.

[A]

Okay? It should be following you. Yeah.

[B]

Okay, well, hold down two Tig, Mark. Like, I'll hold it down for the. For the fools and the gangsters.

[A]

We weren't trying to be professional workers.

[B]

Get down with the gangster.

[A]

Here's the issue with this new car. I forgot the tape for Chris's camera.

[B]

Oh, no. Can you believe that's the issue?

[A]

What? You have another one?

[B]

You.

[A]

I should figure out what we're ordering before we go through this. Drive through, right? No, I know. I'm cool. I'm sure I'm really cool.

[B]

I'm so car.

[A]

Why are you acting carsick?

[B]

I'm not acting it. I am it.

[A]

This is fake for attention.

[B]

It's not. I'm dying. My neck hurts from being forced to look that way all the time.

[A]

You'd be looking the other way.

[B]

No one in my life is like, look the other way. And I'm just like, I just want to look the other way. And they're like, no, look that way.

[A]

Everyone's done that. Do you? Yeah, Every single person.

[B]

You know, I Was walking with my stepmom through my neighborhood and she was on this side and I was. I wanted to say. Can you get that side? Can you just get on that side? Why does no one just intuit like this?

[A]

Can you come back up so they can see you? This is your job. You have lipstick on the side of your cheek.

[B]

Get it? How did it get there? Doesn't that seem crazy?

[A]

It really does when you really think about it. We're for sure getting street chalupas, right? Yes.

[B]

What's a street chalupa?

[A]

Don't even worry about it.

[B]

Is it rude to call it, though?

[A]

I got you these chalupas for the streets.

[B]

Can you please get the Caliente Lunch Cantina Chicken nacho?

[A]

No, thanks. I'm so excited. Can I get. Oh, are you ready for me?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, okay. Wow. Okay, Sorry, I got confused, cuz there was a female and now. Okay, can I get two sets of the toasted cheddar street ch.

[B]

I'm getting out of the car. You want chicken or steak? Steak.

[A]

Oh, the steak. Let's get one set of steak and one set of chicken.

[B]

Do you want two orders?

[A]

Yes, please. Okay. And then can I also get the new nacho fries? The caliente.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Did he. Did you also want to get a number eight just so everyone can have a Doritos Locos nachos?

[A]

Does it come with three like in the picture?

[B]

It does come with three like in the picture.

[A]

It does, in fact, do that, yes. Could I get a number eight, please?

[B]

And we get a drink, too. I think we want a Baja Blast.

[A]

Supreme with a Baja Blast, please. Okay. And that should be all. All right. Any hot sauce there? Yes, just a variety. Do you want anything else, Bruce? Oh, no, I'm good, thank you. Okay, thank you.

[B]

I'm so hungry, I'm gonna throw up also. What happened to you? Why did you.

[A]

Okay. You know my biggest, biggest ick is that all these fast food places now, they have an automated, like, voice being, like, are you using our app?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I thought it was so friendly. It was so friendly that I thought it was a real person. And so it's not. When it switched to, like, a deep man's voice from this, like, friendly woman's voice, I was jolted. And then I couldn't stop. I couldn't help myself but be jolted. And then I was confused and I was laughing at him. And then I was like, I'm sorry.

[B]

Laughing at him. Him.

[A]

The way you just kept. You just like, oh, you were a woman.

[B]

I thought you were A woman. And now I'm. Now I must laugh at you.

[A]

No, I was laughing at myself in my confusion in the mix up and then who. Why did Taco Bell make the name of these chalupas so confusing? It was like an eight tiered name and I like couldn't say it and I was like why are they making me say a tongue twister?

[B]

It's also like their Doritos Locos nachos tacos.

[A]

I know it was like that and.

[B]

Then I was it just be a loco taco.

[A]

Then I just had to laugh out loud in his face at my mispronunciation.

[B]

Look at these hoodlums. There are four teenage boys over here that are like acting up.

[A]

You just made me order so much food that there's no way we can now go to super.

[B]

No, we have to go to superba.

[A]

And Shane's never gonna.

[B]

This was for work. This wasn't for food. We're working.

[A]

Yeah, but the Superba would be for work. Get your brand new fucking.

[B]

My brand new fucking. Put it up on your brand new car.

[A]

Disgusting.

[B]

They're clean. Oh clean. Oh they are not.

[A]

That is so disrespectful thing that just happened.

[B]

I will admit that I washed them this morning.

[A]

Normally I'm not for you being dragged but you putting your nasty ass.

[B]

Chris, cut that out. No Chris, cut that out of the podcast on my brand.

[A]

Cut it out in my brand new car.

[B]

I can't be trapped.

[A]

That is gorgeous. All that hair just flying everywhere. Look at my lesbian.

[B]

My growin is getting longer too.

[A]

Maybe I'm a straight lesbian.

[B]

My new growth would be flapping in the wind now.

[A]

I would you with your hair out like be pregnant. I will.

[B]

I want sloppy rust.

[A]

This car's big enough for how many of our kids? Cuz I want to have sex in the car. Should I leave?

[B]

No, don't. Someone has to call and tell my husband.

[A]

See, you would want your husband to know.

[B]

I would want my husband to know I had sex with a gay man. See, every woman should want their husband to know if they have sex with a gay man. My neck is so tired. I'm so car.

[A]

You want to get where Chris is then and you can look that way?

[B]

Yeah, Trade me Chris.

[A]

You guys want to do what do they call it them? The fire. The word.

[B]

It might be offensive now.

[A]

Oh really? Well don't say it if it's offensive. Rename it. How about that? Wait, is it not. Is that what it.

[B]

It was previously? I think my renaming it might be more Offensive.

[A]

Wait, why is that?

[B]

I didn't know because I might just pick something that is offensive unknowingly.

[A]

Well, it's a something. Fire drill. But I don't remember what the something was.

[B]

I never remember what the something is.

[A]

Oh, I don't.

[B]

And I think it's.

[A]

Shh.

[B]

Then don't say it. I think it's problematic.

[A]

There's more than fire drill.

[B]

Yeah. I'm so sick.

[A]

It's a specific. Like when you're at a stoplight or. Well, I'm gonna throw up. What is wrong?

[B]

I'm car sick.

[A]

Maybe you are pregnant.

[B]

You make me pre sip and I'm car sick from it. Oh, my God. Do you want to talk about how we both played pregnancy last week?

[A]

Oh, that was really good. Hello.

[B]

This crazy drink, right?

[A]

Yes, thank you. Oh, I do. Chris.

[B]

Can you believe it? No, it's just your card.

[A]

And I haven't even. I realized I haven't.

[B]

And Chris, you should pay it back for this. I'm so proud.

[A]

All right, you have a great rest of day. Thank you very much.

[B]

And I'm not gonna share comment about that.

[A]

So how did. Oh, you were playing I'm pregnant to yourself.

[B]

Ow. God, my neck is so tired.

[A]

This is so. This is maybe the most ridiculous bit you've ever done.

[B]

It's not a bit. My neck is legit tired. Okay, so. No, I'm psycho.

[A]

We know.

[B]

And there's no reason for me to think I was pregnant last week. Besides, I had my period. But when my period comes on. When you. When I got pregnant the first time. Here's the story. When I got pregnant the first time, I felt the cramping of the implant. Implantation of the embryo. And not everybody does, but I did. And I thought, oh, my God, I wonder if that means I'm pregnant. And then I had some light bleeding, and I was like, oh, my God, I wonder if that means I'm pregnant. So last week when my period started, I had some light bleeding. Not followed up by any.

[A]

Is the spot too small for me? I don't really know this car yet. I wasn't trying to be mean. I just don't know.

[B]

You just don't care.

[A]

I have a new. No, I have a new car and I'm parking. Are you kidding me? Now I'm the monster because I'm trying to park a car?

[B]

Anyway, I thought I was pregnant last week, and I'm not.

[A]

She didn't really think she was pregnant.

[B]

No, I truly did. But I knew it was crazy.

[A]

We were playing Pregnancy.

[B]

I was playing excited I was pregnant.

[A]

But did it feel like when you were at all?

[B]

It did. And then the fact that I didn't have a real, like, heavy flow afterwards, I was like, oh, shit, sloppy rest is here to play. Awesome.

[A]

You thought you were for a second.

[B]

I did think I was for a second. So I. But I knew I wasn't because I knew it was crazy. So I texted my nearest and dearest, all the Kates I know, and Ryland, and I said, are you busy or do you have some space for me to be psychotic for a minute? And a few of them said, I don't really have space for you to be psychotic right now. And I said, you know what? Totally fair. But I did. I don't think I gave Rylan the option. I think I just hit him with, I think I'm pregnant.

[A]

And then what? How did.

[B]

And then Ryland text me.

[A]

It was really.

[B]

I was waiting to do it on the vlog, but just so you know.

[A]

I said I was gonna pull up Paris Hilton and tell you that we're pregnant when the baby comes.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I guess feels like a good time to tell you.

[B]

Yeah. And I was like, wait, what the fuck? But I was literally FaceTiming with my mother in law and so it was not a time that I could just hang up on her and be like, are you pregnant? And so I'm texting him and like, acting present in my conversation with my mother in law with my baby. And I'm just texting Rylan off camera, like, are you pregnant? Are you pregnant? Are you pregnant right now? Are you pregnant? And it was bath time for me not replying. He left me on red. I hate the weather today.

[A]

I hate to be this girl, but can you get close and look? Cuz I can't. There's a lens in my way.

[B]

Get close and look at, like, look.

[A]

At the viewfinder and tell me if we're lit. Because everyone's so bright, it's hard to say. Just yeah, go forward.

[B]

No, like I literally. What do you mean I'm going forward?

[A]

I meant just. No, move. No, not the seat. I meant your body.

[B]

My necklace.

[A]

You are. Oh, my God. Scoop back, back again. Is there, like, a fan? What is that? Oh, is this okay?

[B]

I think it's great. I think we're lit.

[A]

Whatever. I mean, people get it. Okay, you know what? If we're not lit, it's on me. I'm just gonna let this go.

[B]

So this just leaves me on red for like an hour. I was bath time I don't give a fuck about your bath. And then eventually I hang up with my mother in law and I have to call him. I went, girl, are you pregnant? He went, no, I just wanted some attention. And I hung up. And Joe was like, what the was that? And I was like, he's not pregnant. He just needed attention.

[A]

I didn't. I do.

[B]

Joan, are you serious? And I went, yes, I am serious.

[A]

I do think it would be fun for the next baby if we just kept it a secret until the baby was born. For like, I mean, I could tell you.

[B]

I would kill.

[A]

Even with like the Internet.

[B]

No. If you made it a secret and I had to keep it a secret, I could not do that. Oh, so you'd have to.

[A]

I couldn't tell you.

[B]

Yeah. And I can't be excluded.

[A]

I'm not. I think it would be so fun now. Like, I think it'd be so fun not to tell anyone.

[B]

Why? Because of that one question we had last week.

[A]

I mean it would be hard to not. I mean it just feels different. Like that was for a first baby. I feel like with a second baby, it's like we're already so busy with our two babies. Yeah, let's hope the Doritos tacos.

[B]

Can I just have a bite because I'm about to throw up. I'm so hungry.

[A]

I'm so excited. Let's try one of the new things first.

[B]

Okay. Try the new thing.

[A]

No, no, you can open it. Look at them. Look at how they come. I thought it was a burrito, but it's the two.

[B]

They're so cute. Hold on.

[A]

Chris, you need to take chicken.

[B]

Chris, what are these?

[A]

We need to swap one. Thank you.

[B]

These.

[A]

Okay, so they're. Well, hold on, you gotta, you gotta take a picture with it. Oh wow. There is a ton of melted cheese on a chalupa ass bunny. It likes Lizzie. Okay, that's fair. Is it really good?

[B]

Look, I'm not friends with you anymore.

[A]

It's so good. I love the little like boat that it comes in in like this.

[B]

There's no way this is good for you. It's like a savory donut.

[A]

A chalupa bun. What? What style is this? I just. Which one did you eat?

[B]

Stack?

[A]

I'm eating the chicken.

[B]

Are we sharing these?

[A]

We're going to have to switch.

[B]

How soon are we each doing two bites and switching?

[A]

Okay. I know you're going to like the steak though, cuz you're just a steak girl. I wasn't expecting the outside to be so crunchy. And that. That the crunch followed by the sauce is so nice.

[B]

If you smoke weed, I could only imagine how delicious and cozy that snack would be in bed. High out of my mind.

[A]

I almost want to smoke weed to do that. I think you should, and I really don't.

[B]

You totally have every right to do it.

[A]

This is smoke. So good.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So it's crunchy.

[B]

Like, they're totally different. Are they?

[A]

They're totally different. The sauce is completely different.

[B]

That sauce is, like, limey, citrusy. This almost doesn't even have a sauce right.

[A]

Dare I say I like the chicken better.

[B]

I like both equally.

[A]

I like them both a lot, too. Wow. It's incredible what they were able to do on the exterior of the this. I don't. It's like, not a tortilla and it's not a bun.

[B]

It's like a donut. I can't look at you.

[A]

Why?

[B]

My neck is shy.

[A]

I'm afraid to eat where you chewed because Billy was sick.

[B]

I just ate where you chewed.

[A]

I know, but I wasn't sick.

[B]

I could get E. Coli.

[A]

You're saving me from being sick. I mean, not sick, like sick from food.

[B]

Here. Wait.

[A]

Is it still incredible or is it.

[B]

I chewed both. I was gonna say you can have the rest of the chicken.

[A]

Oh, no, you can have them. It's fine. That was incredible.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

I feel like a lot of times we really do love what Taco Bell is putting out, but I feel like this is even next level for them. Yeah, I feel like they're doing something special.

[B]

Taco Bell's been on a roll.

[A]

They really have. Also, I know we go here a lot, but Taco Bell is one of the only places, like, consistently releasing new, exciting, and it's all good. Yeah.

[B]

Hell, yeah. Taco Bell.

[A]

Okay, these nacho fries, we've got to get into. Oh, you gotta hit your electrolytes first.

[B]

I finished my electrolytes.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How many ounces is that? Like, is that a half gallon or is. That's a half gallon.

[B]

How do you know?

[A]

I'm just guessing, visually.

[B]

Can you look?

[A]

Visually speaking, it's a half gallon.

[B]

It makes no sense to me how they measured this because it's a circle.

[A]

Do you know my one 64 ounces, what my one and only critique is? I wish that, like, at least with the chicken, I wish it had a little more punch of flavor, a little more seasoning maybe. Oh, you liked the sauce on the steak. Yeah, but they're both really good. I almost liked the chicken because it didn't punch me as much with flavor. Yeah. Wow, these look crazy.

[B]

Period.

[A]

Everyone, thumbnail faces, so I don't get in trouble with my husband. Oh, no. I have food in my mouth.

[B]

Me, too.

[A]

Okay. Whoa. The color is cool. So there's, like, chicken tortillas.

[B]

What's the deal? They're spicy.

[A]

I don't know, actually, Chris.

[B]

Takes one.

[A]

We're not licking it, so.

[B]

Well, now I have a compulsion to lick it.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I'm worried about this one that I touched because it looks too spicy for me. Don't touch that one, Chris. You went right for it.

[A]

No, it's a different one.

[B]

You were compulsively drunk.

[A]

Oh, I love the hot sauce. The chicken. You're not gonna be able to pick up the chicken with a fry. The chicken's so thick. Is it chicken thighs, though? I'm not a big chicken thigh.

[B]

Looks bite. I don't like it.

[A]

No, it's. I'm not a chicken thigh. Boy, it's.

[B]

Girl, it's not a chicken thigh. It's white chicken.

[A]

No, it's white meat, baby. Okay. It's very fatty, though. I gotta be honest. I don't love the spicy sauce. Oh, my God, I hate that. You gotta. I wish you would have got the piece of chicken that I got.

[B]

Why would you wish that on me?

[A]

Because you're not grossed out by chicken. I saw. I sent Instagram the other day. It's like, what's left after I make chicken for myself? And it's like, the tiniest piece. Or it was like, what's left after all the rest of the chicken gives me the ick? Or whatever. It was so funny. I was like, that is me. That's why I can't cook my own chicken, because none of it is good enough for me.

[B]

My favorite meme that you sent me the other day was the Barbies on the phone. Hey, girl, are you working? Yeah, but I can quit. What's up, girl?

[A]

It was really. That one had me laughing out loud because it is. Lizzie and I were always like, are you busy? And it's like, I'm at work, but I can quit. What's up? Wow. Overall, I like those fries, but I feel like the. The spicy sauce is kind of strange. I don't know.

[B]

It's just spicy without a flavor.

[A]

I like the fry. I don't like the chicken on it.

[B]

I don't like it at all. And I can't stop eating it.

[A]

Let me get the hot sauce one that you. Oh, that's a lot of Hot sauce.

[B]

Yeah, that scared me.

[A]

For all the incredible things Taco Bell toasted back to. Chris, it's not one.

[B]

Oh, I got the yucky piece of chicken.

[A]

I'm okay. Thank you.

[B]

It's yucky.

[A]

You don't even want it. Chris. I'm okay. Thank you.

[B]

Was it me licking my fingers and touching all of it?

[A]

Probably.

[B]

Or was it us saying, yeah, I got the yucky chicken.

[A]

Caliente Cantina chicken, nacho fries. Fine. The street chalupas, though. Oh, my God.

[B]

Those are for the sheets.

[A]

I. I would literally stop what you're doing and go run to Taco Bell to get that right now. Oh, God, I could eat several more of those. Dang. Oh, you got us regular tacos, too?

[B]

No, I did not. I got us Doritos Locos tacos. Thank you, Lizzie. You're welcome. Because I paid for these.

[A]

Wouldn't happen without you. But do you want to eat too much? If you want to go eat again, these don't count. Or should we go to the mall?

[B]

We should go to Superb. I'm breastfeeding. Do you know how hungry that makes me? The hungriest. The hungriest hippo.

[A]

I think you feel how I feel every day of my life.

[B]

That's because you have a parasite, Chris.

[A]

I think the Doritos Locos taco is too much flavor in a shell for me.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Like, it's doing a little too much. I love the Doritos. I'm also just not hard shell taco person. I want a flour tortilla. I don't want a corn tortilla. Sorry.

[B]

That's super interesting, but can I workshop something with you guys real quick? For real, though? Can I work?

[A]

What the do you want?

[B]

So I haven't finished my vlog for tomorrow. Are you throwing that away?

[A]

You want to go eat? I'm not gonna be sick off of fat.

[B]

I have to have a taco.

[A]

And now you called me out for food waste publicly.

[B]

I mean, I'm gonna eat it.

[A]

Okay. Period.

[B]

I knew she was. I have something here. Or not.

[A]

I always knew she was.

[B]

Tomorrow, period, is April Fool's Day. Was that a joke? Was that the Fool? Wow, that actually made me want to not finish my.

[A]

I'm so sorry.

[B]

I was juiced as fuck.

[A]

I'm so sorry. I literally shaved something similar last night, and I could have punched him in the face.

[B]

Thank God you're taking me to the purple right now.

[A]

Wow, that was awful.

[B]

I haven't finished my vlog yet.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I want to do an April Fool's on the front of it because it goes live on April Fool's Day. Okay, what should it be?

[A]

Oh, you can't ask Chris. You gotta ask Shane something like this.

[B]

Call him. Let's see if he answers your calls.

[A]

Of course he answered my call.

[B]

Perfect. I hope he's asleep.

[A]

He would wake up for me.

[B]

Oh, I lost the ick.

[A]

This might be my favorite taco from.

[B]

Taco and the game. I lost the game.

[A]

Oh, no. Lizard.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

That's your favorite taco? Yeah. You guys are sick. You need help.

[B]

You want the rest of his?

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Because he's gay.

[A]

Oh, he loves me.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Sorry, Lizzie. My husband answers the phone day or night, any time of the day. Hey, baby.

[B]

Honestly, Shane responds to me more than my own husband, too.

[A]

Lizzie wants to know she's trying to make this work. Well, we're going a few places, but I can stop on my way back.

[B]

No, it's okay.

[A]

What do you want? Because I thought about it. We were at Taco Bell, and I was like, I'm gonna get him a diet Coke. But then it'd be all melty.

[B]

He's lying.

[A]

I thought about this in my head. Head. I was going to. But we're going somewhere for the after trip after this. Lizzy wants us to do her own work for her. She was wondering if you had a creative April Fool's idea for her own vlog that goes live tomorrow.

[B]

Oh, just.

[A]

Just think about it. No, don't think about it. You know what? Don't work for her.

[B]

No pressure, Shane. Live your life. I just. Honestly, I wanted to see if you would answer the phone because we called Joe at the beginning of this episode and he didn't.

[A]

Oh, no, I'll always answer for you. Okay, I'll. I'll think on it. I'll let you know. Okay. Love you.

[B]

Okay, love you.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

I should have told him. Billy's pushing to stand.

[A]

He doesn't care.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Oh, we're still rolling.

[A]

I hate to be that girl, but, like, nobody else cares about other people's baby milestones. I don't think.

[B]

I don't know if that's true.

[A]

When you text eight of your friends the same thing, do they all fake care about it? Yeah.

[B]

Let me test it. Let me test it.

[A]

Let's see. Okay. Do you really want to go to suburba?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You do? Yeah. Okay. I mean, it is too niche for, like, a sip episode, because it's like nobody else can go to suburba unless you live on the west side. West yeah, on the west side or in Calabasas. So we're gonna go enjoy our time there on the after sip. If you want to subscribe to the Patreon, it is bumpalumping over there.

[B]

It is bumpa lumpin. It's like herpes.

[A]

What? Like once you catch it, you can't stop.

[B]

And it's herpes works. Yes.

[A]

Okay, so it's just like herpes. Also, you've been over delivering from what? Over delivering from what? You. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Chris.

[B]

You know, that's probably why our necks are so tired.

[A]

We just can't stop. Okay. Chris also posted a vlog, I think it was last week. So I will list the link to that in the description section below.

[B]

Stop recording my breast fucking content as sexual, you motherfucker.

[A]

Well, I think YouTube did that before you even put it live.

[B]

No, it was live.

[A]

It was live and then been live.

[B]

For like two weeks.

[A]

I thought that was the vlog going up tomorrow. Were you able to go in and blur it?

[B]

It was blurred. I posted it. Blurred.

[A]

That's up. That's a.

[B]

You. YouTube keeps saying that me pumping even when it's blurred is sexual content.

[A]

That's crazy because I'm gonna burp. Do it.

[B]

No, I'm getting. I can't.

[A]

Get me back.

[B]

No, I can't. It disgusts me.

[A]

Here's my thing. How is that not educational? But somebody showing their entire asshole, dick and balls shaving, teaching somebody to shave, that can live up. Do you listen as educational?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, well, I guess. I don't know if that guy's as monetizable. I don't know either, but try listening.

[B]

Mine's age restricted. Okay, well, you guys, for two seconds.

[A]

Of a blurred pump, I hope you enjoyed today's episode.

[B]

Yeah, I hope you did. I don't know why we're fighting now. Sorry. It's because my neck is tired and I don't feel good because I'm car sick. Beautiful car, by the way.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I love it in here.

[A]

Okay. Subscribe to the Patreon. Subscribe to Chris, subscribe to Lizzy. And make sure you have a great, fantastic, beautiful, wonderful day.

[B]

And honestly, honestly, if the people in your life don't notice that your neck is tired, tell them.

[A]

Okay, you guys, we're gonna see you next week. We love you very much. Good. Chris, seat belt's not on.

[B]

Oh, Chris. What? The park.

[A]

We were parked.

[B]

It's a law.

[A]

Okay, you guys, we love you very much. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. And that's it. Toodaloo.

[B]

Toodaloo.