Tasting EVERYTHING on TACO BELL’S New Viral Menu!!!

Summary

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The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon

Episode Title: Tasting EVERYTHING on TACO BELL’S New Viral Menu!!!
Date: March 25, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this playful and chaotic episode, Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon (joined by producer Chris and friend Spencer) tackle Taco Bell’s highly anticipated new viral menu, tasting and reviewing every item in real time. The crew also dives into hot topics in pop culture, parenting woes, and the latest viral controversies, all in their signature candid, irreverent style. Between bites, they dish on daycare drama, parenting mishaps, the latest celebrity scandals, and even a newly canceled “Buffy” reboot.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up—Personal Life, Parenting, and Chaos

(00:00–13:52; 17:03–29:46)

• Both hosts share stories of rough mornings, pink eye outbreaks at daycare, and juggling parenthood, work, and vlogging.
• Lizze details the stress of being alone for the first time with both kids while one fights pink eye:

  “I was alone with both boys. Like, truly alone with both.” (09:22)

• Ryland receives a 10th-anniversary ring from Shane, sparking a funny, heartfelt conversation:

  “We got to the hotel, I went to the bathroom. I turned around, and it was sitting on the bed.” (02:58)

• The struggle of balancing authenticity, privacy, and children’s appearances in family vlogs:

  “How do I lifestyle vlog when my lifestyle is penises?” (17:14)

• “Park drama” tales: navigating playground politics and confronting inattentive parents.
• The never-ending adventure of finding the right daycare or preschool; the emotional and health tradeoffs for families.

2. Work-Life Balance, Boundaries, and Vlogging

(13:53–17:14; 29:47–37:12)

• Ryland confesses to taking his first real vacation (no vlogging, no editing) in years and feeling the “Sunday scaries” upon returning.
• Both discuss the challenge of setting boundaries between parental duties and their influencer identities:

  “Other people take the weekend off. Crazy.” (14:48)

• Ongoing dilemmas about including kids in content, privacy, and internet scrutiny.

3. Fashion, Bodies, and Comedic Vulnerability

(08:00–12:00; 40:24–43:02)

• Lizze seeks opinions on a rental lobster shirt, reflects on how changing bras can shift her whole look.
• Unfiltered talk about bodies, chafing from jorts, and the confusion of female anatomy—classic TMI moments delivered with humor:

  “They're giving me diaper rash.” (40:30)

4. Pop Culture & Hot Topics

a. Mormon TikTok & The Bachelorette Scandal

(44:27–57:31)

• Deep dive into the saga of Taylor Frankie Paul, MomTok, and the canceled “Bachelorette” season:

  “Taylor, Frankie Paul was a woman who started this thing on TikTok called Mom Talk... there were swingers... then cops were called to Taylor’s house.” (44:51–46:03)

• Discussion of domestic violence allegations, ABC and Disney’s crisis management, and the ripple effect on reality TV careers.
• The hosts empathize with the mental toll and postpartum demands on women depicted in Mormon-based reality shows:

  “Honestly, all of them seem like they're extreme abuse survivors.” (53:45)

b. Celebrity & Influencer Gossip

(57:34–63:19)

• Chaparral Roan accused of having security eject an 11-year-old girl (Jude Law’s daughter) from a restaurant for merely walking by. Hosts debate celebs’ right to privacy.

  “You're fucking famous. It's what you've always wanted.” (59:37)

• Kylie Jenner’s former assistant dishes on why she quit; the hosts discuss the human side of working for the ultra-rich.
• Brief mention of Justin Timberlake’s DWI controversy, with the chaos of other scandals drowning out his drama.

  “Justin Timberlake can’t help but be in his own damn way. And I think it’s because low key, he sucks.” (63:39)

c. The Buffy Reboot Gets Canceled

(65:39–69:52)

• Insiders’ view on the doomed reboot, with Lizze revealing she read the pilot script:

  “It's a fucking piece of shit. ...I think it got notated to oblivion by executives who don't know anything about the creative process.” (68:16)

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Taco Bell New Viral Menu: The Ultimate Taste Test

(72:12–103:23; all timestamps approximate due to editing breaks)

• The crew orders nearly every new viral menu item, including:
  • Jalapeno honey mustard and chipotle crispy chicken crunch wrap sliders
  • Steak & guacamole nacho fries
  • Cantina chicken rolled quesadillas
  • Chocolate fudge & caramel empanadas
  • Mountain Dew Baja Midnight Dirty Soda, Pepsi Dirty Soda, Dirty Lemonade, and Confetti Cookie Freeze

Notable Taste Reactions

• Dirty Lemonade:

  “It tastes like a lemon creamsicle.” — Lizze (79:56)
  “Honestly, that's what it’s like.” — Chris (80:20)

• Pepsi Dirty Soda:

  “It's just pouring creamer into a soda... we've just made all drinks milkshake equivalents.” — Ryland (81:23)

• Crunchwrap Sliders:

  “This is phenomenal. I'm so glad Rylan got one for each of us because I'm gonna eat this whole thing.” — Lizze (80:38)

• Cantina Chicken Rolled Quesadilla:

  “It's a nice warm hug. ...I do wish it had some smile with some sharp.” — Ryland & Lizze (88:53–89:02)

• Steak Guac Nacho Fries:

  “All of it just tastes like 3D. It tastes like the 3D-printed version of all of the elements.” — Ryland (101:17)

• Empanadas:

  “This is a worse version of the donuts... It's kind of dry. They're not good.” — Ryland (95:10)

Group Favorites & Flops

• Favorites:

  • Cantina Chicken Rolled Quesadilla (“like a nice warm hug”)
  • Crunchwrap sliders (especially chipotle)
  • Some drinks, especially Dirty Lemonade for a creamsicle vibe

• Least Favored:

  • Honey mustard slider (“Taco Bell has no business with honey mustard.”)
  • Choco fudge empanada (“So dry.”)
  • Steak guac fries (“3D-printed taste, not great if sitting too long.”)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Parent Chaos:
  “How do I lifestyle vlog when my lifestyle is penises?” — Lizze (17:14)
• On Daycare Drama:
  “Wake up, rich bitch. Your kid sucks.” — Lizze (26:36)
• On The Bachelorette Scandal:
  “...She continues to have huge, explosive outbursts on camera... and it’s an incessant cycle.” — Lizze (55:09)
• On the Taco Bell Drinks:
  “I think we’ve just made all drinks milkshake equivalents at this point.” — Ryland (81:23)
• On the Flop Nacho Fries:
  “All of it just tastes like 3D-printed version of all the elements.” — Ryland (101:17)
• On Influencer Life:
  “Other people take the weekend off. Crazy.” — Ryland (14:48)
• On Leaving Kids Out of Vlogs:
  “I would like to be done with kids in vlogs... it's not what I want for my child.” — Ryland (15:39)
• On Chafing in Jorts:
  “They're giving me diaper rash.” — Lizze (40:30)
• On Chaparral Roan Drama:
  “You're fucking famous. It's what you've always wanted.” — Lizze (59:37)
• On Buffy Reboot Script:
  “It's a fucking piece of shit...notated to oblivion...they overcorrected.” — Lizze (68:16)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Personal Catch-up & Parenting Chaos: 00:00–17:14
• Daycare & Park Drama: 10:58–26:47
• Fashion, Self-deprecating Humor, & Bodies: 08:00–12:00, 40:24–43:02
• Hot Topics Start: 43:02
• Mormon TikTok/Bachelorette Scandal: 44:27–57:31
• Chaparral Roan Incident: 57:34–63:19, 92:43–93:38
• Justin Timberlake DWI, Celebrity Gossip: 63:19–64:58
• Buffy Reboot Discussion: 65:39–69:52
• Rocket Money & Sponsors: Skipped
• Taco Bell Taste Test: 72:12–103:02

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Final Takeaways

• Menu MVPs: Chipotle Crunchwrap Slider & Cantina Chicken Quesadilla
• Major Misses: Honey mustard slider, dry empanadas, steak guac fries ("3D-printed taste")
• Quote to Remember: “How do I lifestyle vlog when my lifestyle is penises?”
• Pop Culture Central: Mormon TikTok/Bachelorette scandal, Chaparral Roan’s PR nightmare, Kylie Jenner’s assistant exit story, the collapse of the Buffy reboot
• Signature Tone: Heartfelt, hilarious, and perpetually a little unhinged.

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For the full ride—from Taco Bell drive-thru shenanigans and taste reviews to biting pop culture analysis and parenting TMI—this episode is a tasty, messy, and laugh-out-loud listen.

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Transcript

[A]

I've had a rough morning, Spencer.

[B]

We've all had rough mornings, Spencer.

[A]

Wake up, rich bitch. Your kid sucks. What are you doing to me in the public image right now? How do I lifestyle vlog when my lifestyle is penises? No, she's a bitch. So huge news, you guys.

[B]

Is there huge news? Yeah, well, we did the whole show before the show even started.

[A]

Well, no, we got to talk about two. Two elephants in the room.

[B]

Okay. Eyes being like itchy, out of control. Whatever is flying around this room is living and existing inside of my eyes.

[A]

I'm going to go ahead and let you know. I feel it too, girl.

[B]

Wait, you do?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As a contactless whore.

[A]

As a contact.

[B]

As a.

[A]

As a blind prostitute. I am feeling.

[B]

That's not appropriate anymore, right?

[A]

You can say blind prostitute.

[B]

No, I said W H O R

[A]

e. No, you can say whore. It's an occupation.

[B]

Okay? We need to put. Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, no. You need to. You need to chill. You need to put a chill. You need to pull it in front of.

[A]

Or I'm going to.

[C]

I'm.

[A]

You gotta be cool. You gotta be cool.

[B]

That's too much.

[A]

Oh, my God. You know what? Look at your ring and shut the f up.

[B]

Thank you. It's beautiful, right?

[A]

Daddy got a new pair of shoes this weekend. No. And by a new pair of shoes, I mean a huge, gorgeous ring.

[B]

And I don't like to like. Whatever. Yeah, I did.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you want to talk about your lotion routine or something?

[B]

I don't. You act like I always have to talk about my lotion routine. When have I ever told you about my.

[A]

You've told all of us about your lotion routine when it comes to your rings every single time.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Let's just celebrate a beautiful.

[B]

Because it's so hard to put lotion on.

[A]

Here we go again.

[B]

How do you do it?

[A]

I'm not doing this again. Now you're rage baiting me. I'm being rage bitten.

[B]

No, I want to know because like, I don't.

[A]

I leave it. I leave it. But I'm too fat for all my ratio over your diamond.

[B]

You're not even married in public.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

This is homophobic.

[A]

You know, it won't fit on my finger.

[B]

I thought we shopped for a new one.

[A]

Well, then there was some drama.

[B]

Yeah, with lotion.

[A]

No, lotion was not involved. I was gonna get a replacement. What?

[B]

I just like. What's going on.

[A]

What?

[B]

I just need to put this away for a second because it's Stressing me out.

[A]

Can you do that? I'm not putting mine away.

[B]

I'm putting mine away.

[A]

I'm on call.

[B]

If somebody needs me, they can find me, period. And if somebody really needs me, they can call my husband, period.

[A]

Wow. Honestly, I'm really feeling it in my eyes. It is nice to know that you're feeling it, too, because I'm like, is it pink eye? Did I get the pink eye?

[B]

Did you go home?

[A]

When? Because I came. What? Did I go home?

[B]

No. Did you get pink eye? Because if so, go home.

[A]

Okay, well, that's a more complete thought.

[B]

Okay, where are we? Let's center.

[A]

Let's start center. And focus. Ryland got a huge, gorgeous ring for his 10th anniversary.

[B]

Thank you so much, Shane. I feel like. When I. I just thought, like, the trip, the vacation was our gift to each other.

[A]

So here's my question.

[B]

What?

[A]

How does he do this? Like, how does he. What? Like what? What? Like, how does he give it to you?

[B]

I don't like. We got to the hotel, I went to the bathroom. I turned around, and it was sitting on the bed.

[A]

Fuck off. That's so cute.

[B]

I really was like. I thought.

[A]

What did you do?

[B]

I gave him nothing.

[A]

I know, but, like, I had nothing for the ring. Did your. Does your heart just because you know you've blown it A.

[B]

Yes. That. Because I was like, what?

[A]

What? I also feel like we used. I said this off camera, but we used to, like, go to the mall. And a big focus of our mall trips was usually Shane.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

I don't know that we ever executed anything for him, though. Now we're always okay. But I feel like since having children, poor Shane doesn't get anything.

[B]

I know. And how does he have the time to think of me?

[A]

What is wrong with him?

[B]

What is wrong with him? I wasn't expecting anything. I, like, whatever. I don't need to justify to you guys. But then I was just like.

[A]

Is that literally what you said?

[B]

I thought.

[A]

Did you say thank you first? What did you do first?

[B]

Well, I just. It's gorgeous.

[A]

It's really gorgeous.

[B]

And I was like, I already have more rings than I have fingers to put on, so we need to, like, this has to be it.

[A]

I don't know that I've ever lusted after a piece of your jewelry. As gnarly as I'm lusting after that right now.

[B]

No, I'll lie.

[A]

I put it on and I almost. I literally. Rylan, I was thinking about just running.

[B]

I gagged. And all weekend, I was just like, this Is the most beautiful thing. I just look at it and I'd look at him and I'd be like, oh, my God, I feel like a rapper. I feel like an NFL star rapper with a diamond.

[A]

I feel like a crumpled up candy wrapper on the floor of somebody who

[B]

once loved me rep like 50.

[A]

I know, I know, I know, I know.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Like, I feel like it's bitty. Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Gorgeous.

[A]

No. And this, the other ring of yours that I love the most is your sapphire and blue.

[B]

Yeah. Which I can stack with this. Now that it's like an exclusive silver hand and an exclusive gold hand.

[A]

I also think you could stack it on this bad boy.

[B]

I could do either. Yeah.

[A]

I've been thinking you could snack.

[B]

You touching me that intimately when your son had pink eye is.

[A]

We're in the clear? We're in the clear. We're in the clear, Twink. We're in the clear. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. He ate all the boogers off his eyes. It's fine. You don't have to worry about it.

[B]

What's hilarious is when Lizzie texted me that Billy was ill. It was the most graphic illness I had ever seen. And this was maybe the first time I was like, no, but is Billy okay?

[A]

Yeah. Pink guy's the chillest thing to deal with.

[B]

It didn't look chill. His eyes were, like, gooped and glued together. Yeah. Like morning. And I was like, I think you need to go to the ER like, 10 minutes from now. Yesterday.

[A]

I mean, I honestly, I sensed it coming because when he got home from school, he had a booger in his eye, and he never has boogers in his eyes. And I was like, that's pink eye. That's it right there. And I tried to get an appointment immediately, and I couldn't get one immediately.

[B]

Who would have known that pink eye starts his booger eyes?

[A]

Well, he's in daycare, and all the kids in daycare have pink eye.

[B]

Oh. So. Oh.

[A]

So to me, he comes home from school, where I know for a fact at least 19 kids there have pink eye.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

If he has a booger in his eye and he's never had a booger in his eye before, I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's the start of pink eye.

[B]

Why did they. Is this school, like, not clean?

[A]

No, it's clean as fuck. It's clean as fuck. It's clean as fuck. This is just daycare.

[B]

Man, oh, man. And after.

[A]

And also, I've come to notice that pink eye and ear infections are common following a previous viral infection.

[B]

I didn't know that there was construction going on at the office today.

[A]

Can't hear it right now.

[B]

Here we are. I'm just saying if you can hear it in the edit, I just want to give you a warning. Now we're going to ignore it, Pretend like nothing's happening.

[A]

No. Because we're really chill girls.

[B]

But thank God we're really good at

[A]

calming down and not noticing sounds in the background. But that's also why we have sawdust in our eyes. But I'm glad that it's sawd because another symptom of pink eye is you feel like you have shit in your eyes.

[B]

Oh, it's just sawdust.

[A]

It's just sawdust.

[B]

No, it's just saw.

[A]

No, it's just.

[B]

It wasn't like this before I entered the space where they're replacing floor because me neither. The fridge is now working that.

[A]

Because honestly, I've been so sick of having to walk my breast milk all the way back to this back fridge.

[B]

I know. It's a real. It's a real struggle.

[A]

I think I have sawdust in my throat.

[B]

I know it's everywhere. And if somebody could have gently just told me there's construction at the office, we could be at the shed.

[A]

We would have been in the shed and I would. I would have been probably like 35 minutes late instead of 23 minutes late.

[B]

Right. So it's a blessing.

[A]

It's a truly a blessing.

[B]

We all met here based on a blessing.

[A]

Truly, life is such a blessing. And if we get too deep into the blessings, I'm gonna start crying right now. Yeah. So we should start pivot.

[B]

We should pivot hard onto your lobster shirt. That's really killing it.

[A]

Do you? Okay. Should I buy it? I mean, because this is a rental.

[B]

Even Spencer complimented.

[A]

I knew Spencer was going to compliment me. That's so psychotic.

[B]

Are you getting that?

[A]

This is like a Spencer coated outfit.

[B]

In high school, when I would dress for my crush, that was a girl. And then when she actually notices it, like, you know, like you. Yeah. You know, it's like. Did you dress for Spencer's?

[A]

I didn't dress for Spencer, but I do feel really cute in this shirt and I just feel like it fits. Well, I'm wearing a new bra, so my boobies are in the right spot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And when this. When I'm wearing a nursing top. This is not the shirt. I cannot wear this shirt in a nursing bra. It is not okay. I look Like a beanbag, but in this bra. I feel really cute in it. And I also really like it with the sambas and the shorts.

[B]

So did you go shopping?

[A]

No, this is all nuuly.

[B]

Oh, it just comes straight to you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is not an ad.

[A]

No, this is not an ad. I pay for this.

[B]

Okay, so tell me more about pink eye and what happens.

[A]

Pink eye is the chillest thing to deal with with because I had made him the doctor's appointment the night before. When I saw the booger, I was like, we're going down, down early around. Like that was the. That's the soundtrack that plays in my mind. I'm like this motherfucker sick.

[B]

And like touching and dealing with him. You and Joe avoided the eye?

[A]

Yeah. Just a lot of hand washing. A lot of hand washing. But also if we were to get pink eye, it's a quick fix to the second you put the drops in. Within hours it starts getting better.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I had a appointment set for 8:40 the next morning. By 9am I had the drops in.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nice. Yeah, he's backing better than ever.

[A]

He's dipping and doing the thing, as you say.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I did have. Because he had pink eye, you have to wait 24 hours of doing the medication before you readmit him to general population in the prison. And so I had him home and Joe's working. So I was alone with both boys. Like truly alone with both.

[B]

Has that never happened before?

[A]

No. It's terrifying.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, yeah, cuz Ernie's still mostly immobile.

[A]

But that motherfucker started rolling this morning. Ernie's now rolling front to back.

[B]

Whoa. He's like two months old. I forget he's three months old. Oh. What?

[A]

I know. I was in an elevator yesterday and these moms came in with a little baby. I was like, oh my God, how old you little baby? She's like 2 months old. I was like, shut up. My baby is 2 months old. I was like, when was he born? And they were like, January. And I was like, huh? What? I was like, my baby wasn't born in January, but he's also two months old. And then I like looked at the, the calendar. I was like, oh my God, my baby is three months old. Who is this kid?

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Sorry, my phone dropped and I want to be able to see it. But yeah. So my kid's three months old. Surprise.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. And he's, he's doing really good. He's getting thick. He's got a butt now.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

It's like, thank God. Because, like, newborns just sort of have little, like, slits, like a. Like a poop chute and then some flap and then some leg, but there's no real definitive, like, a rump. You know what I mean? But he's, you know, he's got. He's got back. Baby got back.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

What else?

[B]

I tore daycares.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Fearing that I would be bullied by Lizzie for the rest of my life, saying, like, your kids are gonna be weird homeschool kids. And it's like, well, no, you.

[A]

And I also spiraled via text and decided, okay, yeah, okay. They're weird homeschool kids. All of our kids are gonna be weird fucking homeschool kids. We're not doing this.

[B]

Well, after touring all of these daycares and are like, preschools. Are they preschools or any day?

[A]

There's a difference.

[B]

Well, they. These places that I tour do have, like, curriculum in the morning. It's like, the morning half of the day is structured, like school, and then the second half after nap is like.

[A]

I don't know the distinction.

[B]

Okay. Me either. Hated all of them.

[A]

What happened?

[B]

I just. I didn't get a good. I wouldn't feel. And they're not bad establishments, but I wouldn't feel. I wouldn't feel. I wasn't like.

[A]

You didn't leave with a good feeling.

[B]

I wasn't excited to, like, drop them off there and be like, have a great day.

[A]

No, that's not the vibe.

[B]

And so I guess I'll tour a few more. But, like, in this current moment, I'm like, I'd rather. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Well, we got lucky because we just toured the one and left, like, crying. It was so beautiful. Yeah.

[B]

And I was. I don't know. I don't know. There's a few more options.

[A]

Like, we're going to their little Seder show tomorrow for Pastor.

[B]

I know you love yours.

[A]

I love ours.

[B]

And I'm like, I'm not gonna have my family be deathly ill constantly for a place that I'm not, like, excited to send them to.

[A]

No.

[B]

So. But it's not like, then I'll still.

[A]

It's not worth it. It's not worth the financial or the health risk in addition to your own conscience. Because even sending Billy to that school that I love, the first months are agonizing. Yeah. Because there are barnacles, dude. Like, we fucking. We ride with those kids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so sending them somewhere else, like, I had to just keep reminding myself like, well, this is better than me taking him to Costco, right? And yeah, and I miss him in Costco. Like I. And But I have to remind myself, like the dudes painting and playing with goats and rabbits, like that's what she. Like, I can't provide goats and rabbits to this guy all day. I have to go to Costco, you know.

[B]

Sucks.

[A]

It sucks.

[B]

It sucks. Yeah.

[A]

Also I have to go to Costco.

[B]

Just realized what are you going to

[A]

get everything for the week? This is just like the Monday is Monday. And I honestly, like, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and before I went to sleep I was like, I Wonder if I'm PMSing. And I probably am because I woke up in a nasty mood and it just, everything from that point just spiraled out of control.

[B]

I woke up. Well, here's the thing. For the first time in I don't know how long, I mean, even though we didn't go far away for our 10 year anniversary, we like took a trip and I didn't respond to work emails. I didn't work, I didn't edit, I didn't vlog. I always vlog something when I'm on vacation. I'm like, well, I should share this or vlog this didn't do any sort of work. And so I actually had the Sunday scary is being like, oh no, I have to reenter the work because I don't know, I feel like for so long I've just been working always where it's like, even if I'm like, I don't know, I'm working at odd hours. Like I'm like putting the kids to bed, I'm having a nighttime routine and then I jump to my computer for a couple of hours. Like I'm just so it. Like we work a lot, which is great. Thank you God for like that people care to watch what we do. But then I was like, oh, this is kind of nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To not.

[A]

It's healthy.

[B]

It was nice.

[A]

Other people take the weekend off.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Crazy. Yeah, that's nice.

[A]

It is nice.

[B]

It is.

[A]

I think it's important too because if you get so caught up in this other stuff, it like becomes a little. It's like not healthy.

[B]

But mice. I view my structure as different because like, yes, I'm not always glued to having to work like 9 to 5. Like I can take a few hours and do something with my kids during the weekday and then like work, you know, like, oh yeah, it's a mix match. But it is like I do End up working seven days a week. But not like every day is a full day.

[A]

Yeah. I've been having a hard time because I don't want to put my kids in my vlogs, But I also, like, have my kids around.

[B]

Yeah. That's hard.

[A]

And I'm like, what do I do?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you're done with kids and vlogs.

[A]

I would like to be done with kids in vlogs just because it's like, I don't. It's not what I want for my child. Yeah. But I'm also, like, kind of stuck in the way that it's like, I don't have.

[B]

That's your life.

[A]

Yeah. And I. It's. But. And I like, it just is what it is, you know? Like, I can do a recipe and I can do. I can go grocery shopping, but it's like, I probably have Ernie with me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I don't have anywhere else to put Ernie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Except for on my body.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, and that. I tried to do a vlog last week, like, doing my kids nighttime routine, and just like, all blew up in my face. Just all blood in my face.

[B]

Well, it's already stressful enough to get two kids nighttime routine done.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you add. Trying to fill. Filming anything adds so much time.

[A]

Yeah. Everybody's like, I can see his penis. And I'm like, oh, okay.

[B]

So what did you do, blurt it?

[A]

But it's also like, why are you looking so hard for his penis?

[B]

Well, I think they probably noticed and then are trying to tell you because there are.

[A]

No. I totally appreciate that. And also, like, why are you looking so hard for his penis?

[B]

What are they.

[A]

I felt like it if I didn't see it on two viewings. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Right. But you also might just be such in the trenches of motherhood.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That it's like, you see penis, you see your children.

[A]

My life is just penises constantly.

[B]

Every one of them.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. Maybe that's it. But it's like, I can't. I don't want to do that again, you know? Like, I know I have to be careful. And in the same. And in the same breath, it's just

[B]

like, it's a lot.

[A]

How do I lifestyle vlog when my lifestyle is penises? We were driving the yesterday, and Joe was like, oh, we're coming up on a dip. And then like, to the boys in the backseat, he's like, hold on to your dicks, boys. And I just was like, I love that all throughout life, I hope that they think to themselves, like, hold on to your dick.

[B]

A bump means hold on to your

[A]

dick because it's like a fucked up, like, car situation.

[B]

This is just a joke, okay?

[A]

Like, instead of hold on to your seat, like, hold on to your dicks.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I don't know. I just felt like it was the beginning of, like, a positive conversation about respecting your body.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For my children. So I just. I don't know.

[B]

Go Joe.

[A]

Go Joe. Joe. Joe also took a bucket that we play with at the park and pissed in it.

[B]

And. What?

[A]

I'm so irritated. We were leaving the arcade yesterday, and Joe's, like, puts the Billy into his car seat. Ernie's in his car seat. I'm in the front seat. We're ready to go. And that pulls out a bucket and starts pissing at it in the parking lot.

[B]

Doesn't it piss you off? Because it stinks too.

[A]

Well, he, like, poured it out, but I'm like, girl, this is how people get accidental blue check marks next to their name.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

I'm like, don't you be pissing in buckets outside.

[B]

I feel like every man. Oh. Outside of the arcades, Weird. But, like, every man has to pee in the car.

[A]

He was totally hidden by the car and in the same breath, I'm like, did you have to pee that bad? Because I can tell you I've had to pee that bad and I haven't peed in a bucket.

[B]

Well, women can hold everything better.

[A]

Women can. Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I mean, like, your patience is better. Your bladder is better, even if it's not like you can stand it.

[A]

Keep telling me these things. I was texting with someone we know in common. I'm not going to out her publicly.

[B]

Wait, really? Who? Okay.

[A]

And we were both laughing that, like, at a certain hour in the day, it's just like, well, if I sneeze, I'm going to piss. It's just at a certain point, your body's just tired, and I can't hold everything together anymore. So some. Some things have to go. And for us, it's pee pee.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Today's podcast is sponsored by SeatGeek, the number one rated ticketing app. And that is because there's over 70,000 event listed on SeatGeek. There's over 35 million downloads, by the way, because it's so fantastic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

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[A]

So inspire.

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[A]

So you hated the. You hated what you saw?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

At your preschools.

[B]

Oh, I hated it. Yeah, I hated it. I mean, they're all, like, beyond qualified and capable. It's just. I don't. I'm not excited to uproot our routine. I like how you think, oh, where Billy's going, you can't provide in certain ways, I'm like. I think their current life is much better. Like, they're going. They are going to see animals almost every day, and they're going to really fun parks, and they're like, what they're experiencing while I'm here at work is still probably. And they're, like, going to swimming lessons. They're doing a lot of fun things.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't. I'm not ready to.

[A]

It's. If the enrichment level isn't there and you're not crazy about it, there is absolutely no reason to spend that much money on it.

[B]

Well, and we will. I mean, they're not even of school because kids don't actually go to school until, like, five. Like, kindergarten is five. Like, yes, I want them to do some preschooling, but I don't need to be like, I don't. I don't know why I feel like I have. It has to happen today or never. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, I get it.

[B]

But I'm gonna look around. I have Another one scheduled for tomorrow. And then I found another one. That seems like a good option.

[A]

Do you guys ever have drama at the park?

[B]

Not much.

[A]

Seems like me and my mom group had nothing but park drama this weekend.

[B]

What do you mean? Like, like everyone was firing in with their park dramas?

[A]

Yeah, every. Like, we had park drama this weekend, and we had park drama, like, a weekend before, too.

[B]

What parks are you going?

[A]

Joe had to talk to a little kid. I was like, honey, you're crazy. He's like, I know, she's a bitch. I was like, no, you're right. Is definitely a. But you can't talk to her.

[B]

Where was the kid's parent?

[A]

The kid's parent was sitting. Okay, so at this one park, there's, like, this roundabout, like, big bench that's a circle with, like, a huge tree coming out of it. And on one side, there's the big kid park, and on the other side, there's the little kid park. So Billy's at the little kid park. We had all his sand toys out, and he likes to go up on the play structure and play on this, like, wheel. Like a steering wheel. So he's playing on the steering wheel and this big girl. Like, a big girl. She's, like, over five. It's a big girl. Okay, Go to the fucking big girl park the fuck out of the baby space, you weirdo. Body checks him away from the steering wheel. And we just didn't even know what to do because it's like, what the fuck? He's a baby. Get out of here, bitch. So Joe just sort of was like, be gentle. Like, we were just doing, like, what we do at our house. Like, we didn't know. We didn't have our, like, words right. And we panicked because it's like, we can't talk to another kid. And, like, Joe's the one on the play structure because I'm wearing Ernie down.

[B]

And where's the mom?

[A]

The mom's facing the big kid park, talking to another mom, not paying attention. Her back is to her kid on the park. And her kid sucks. If, you know your kid sucks, Keep an eye. You know what I'm saying? And you know, you know, if your kid sucks. Well, and that's the thing.

[B]

She needs a break from her kid. That sucks, too, which takes a break, babe.

[A]

Take a break, babe. But watch your kid. If there's other kids around, especially if she's the big kid on the baby part. And she's an. And it's okay to have kids. I'm pretty sure I'M an, which means at one point, I was a kid who was also an. And I was completely unsupervised. And that's not okay. So, like, wake the up. It's 2026. You're too rich to not be looking at your kid at the park. I can tell by the way you're dressed you're probably not that stressed. Honestly. I said what I said she looked great. She looked fan fucking tastic.

[B]

Good for her.

[A]

She looked well enough to be watching her asshole kid at the park. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't think she needed a break, right? And then the little girl goes down into the sand and takes Billy's toys and won't share them with Billy.

[B]

At that point, I think I'd flag the mom.

[A]

Joe was like.

[B]

Like, hey, I don't. I don't want to parent your child, but this is like, two things in a row now, so can you wake

[A]

the fuck up, you skinny bitch? Yeah. So she had Billy's toys, and Billy wanted to play with some of them. And so when Billy picked one up, she yanked it away from him. And Joe was like, I'm done. Joe couldn't handle it. Joe walked in and he yanked it back from her. And she was like, hey. And he was like, if you're not. These are Billy's toys, and if you're not gonna share, you can't play with them, period. Period. But I'm like, joe, you're like, six, two, and huge. You can't be yanking away from other little kids. He's like, that's our shit, okay? And then this last weekend, we were at a different park, and this little girl who was, like, between 4 and 5, somewhere in that range, she was a big girl, but she wasn't a big girl, started just whopping on Billy, like, going like this on his shoulder, like, whacking him. I'm not even doing it to you, right? And Joe was like, stop. Like, what are you doing? Because he didn't know what to. Again. He didn't know what to do. And he's like, I can't touch another person's kid, but she's hitting my kid. Get the out of here, you weird.

[B]

And where's the parent?

[A]

This dad swooped in, like, the SEAL Team 6. They were. Because they were on a merry go round thing. So there's only so many openings, and it's moving in a circle, and they're. And it's enclosed, and there's seats. So Joe's sitting inside, and he's just like, trying to protect Billy from this mollywop. And the dad comes in from the rafters and swoops in with the thing moving and just rips that out of the situation and runs her out to the other side of it. And it's like, that's a parent who's paying attention.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And good for him. Sucks for him. Because we watched that girl have a hard time around the entire park. And I don't think any lessons learned by this immediate swoop up and no conversation.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because she just continued to mollywop kids other places. But. And I feel for him, but God bless him for doing that, because I've. I've decided, like, going forward now, if I see some like that going down, I'm coming in the middle. I'm literally stepping between the child and my child. And I am saying, do not touch him. I'm not saying be gentle. Do not touch him. Do not touch him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if the kid does not listen to me, I'm picking my child up and I'm leaving. I'm finding that child's parents, and I'm saying, wake up, rich bitch. Your kid sucks. And if you don't tell them in a nice way, I'm gonna tell them in a way.

[B]

I would just if my.

[A]

Oh, time for stamp 2040.

[B]

No, 26.

[A]

When I said the C word. 26, 40. Sorry, I don't have my glasses on.

[B]

Yeah, no. And if my kids are ever being. Because, like, sometimes my kids, even with each other, have a hard time sharing and I have to intervene.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And if they're doing that at the park, then it's like, you stop or we remove you from the situation.

[A]

I also, like, you know, we were at the park. We're at the park all the time. My kid loves going to the park. He's like, the second he gets in that sandbox, it's like he's on Molly and he's living his best life.

[B]

Max. Every day.

[A]

Park.

[B]

Like, no park this morning. Park.

[A]

Take him, take him.

[B]

He goes to the park every day, sometimes twice a day.

[A]

Good.

[B]

They love the park.

[A]

Thank God Billy found out about popsicles and knows where they are and stands by the refrigerator and cries, peas.

[B]

Peas. That's my kids with yogurt. Yogurt, Yogurt. More yogurt. They're drug addicts for yogurt.

[A]

Joe's like, do we just give him the Popsicle? Like, give him the popsicle. He needs it.

[B]

Peace.

[A]

Peace. Crying peace. And he has this little belligerent way that he points where it's like, not a full point. It's like a little gun kind of. Peace. Peace. Eyes full of fucking tears. Give him the fucking popsicle. He needs it.

[B]

Okay, I'm ready to vacation as two families.

[A]

Let's go, bitch.

[B]

Let's go. Yeah.

[A]

If you had had your kids at that place, I would have come with.

[B]

I almost thought about, like, trying to extend and have my kids come down because I was, like, missing my kids. No, it's so much.

[A]

It's hard.

[B]

It is hard. Like. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's hard because, like, when you have the kids, you can't do certain things. Like, they have to go to bed. You can't, like, go out after they go to bed.

[A]

I don't want to anyways, though. But I'm in the thick of it and I'm tired.

[B]

Yeah. But I think about the babies are two and a half. You're gonna be, like, wanting to go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But going down there, I mean, you know me. Then I, like, start envisioning my new life. It's so pretty. I start looking at houses and I'm like, see ya.

[A]

You're so funny like that.

[B]

I'm so. I can't. Well, I told James anything without thinking of what my life would be if I lived there.

[A]

I told James where you were, and he was like, why don't they live there? And then you texted me and you're like, what, are you gonna just move here with me?

[B]

Well, it's like. It's so good.

[A]

You just got me to the east side. Like, what are you. What are you doing?

[B]

I didn't execute on the east side because I just, at the core of it, don't think I love that house.

[A]

We hate the east side.

[B]

I think I fucking hate. I can enjoy visiting the east side, but I don't think I'm, like, going to live in the east side.

[A]

What's so funny about East Siders? I've noticed about, like, deep lokes, like, the ones that grew up on the east side. And, like, their parents grew up on the east side. They're like, this is true la. And it's like, okay. And I love the Valley. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't care.

[B]

Right?

[A]

I don't care what you think true LA is I like parking my car in a parking spot. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yes. No, I know what you mean. But I. I do think, like, I'm just never gonna be an East Sider.

[A]

No. But Pasadena is gorgeous.

[B]

And it. I mean, it's essentially Pasadena, but, like, I. It's still just. I don't know, it's too cool.

[A]

I'm not gonna make my kids leather shoes.

[B]

It's a little bit city vibe still. Like, downtown Pasadena still has, like, the bigger buildings. It almost feels like a mini downtown area. And I'm just not that. I'm just maybe not that, but when I. So the hotel I normally love to go to is in Laguna, but that was booked, so we stayed in Newport beach. And I was like, oh, Newport beach is right by me. Like, it is. You have the ocean right here, but then you have like the main street that's, like, very family oriented. It has all these mom and pop shops. And then like, not even three minutes away, you have like the big beautiful, like, clean outdoor mall with, like, so many activities for the kids.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm just like, oh, this is for me. Yeah, this is for me.

[A]

So are we moving?

[B]

So are we moving?

[A]

Honestly, Joe would probably be.

[B]

It's incredible. It really is incredible.

[A]

And you love selling the OC And

[B]

I love selling the OC More than I like selling Sunset. I was like, selling la.

[A]

No, you gave up on selling Sunset.

[B]

No. Although they are bringing Christine Quinn back after she had, like, a major feud with production. And they're bringing Heather back, who actually lives in the OC I don't know what. Why they wouldn't just put her on the OC Selling the OC but she was an original to selling Sunset. So they're doing like a whole casting shake up at Selling Sunset because Chrishell, she dipped. She dipped.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

She was like, I can't take this anymore. It's not worth it. I'm out. But no, I just. Like, when we were down there, you know, Saturday before we went home, I was like, I'm hitting every open street open house because I just got to see what's up. Of course I did.

[A]

You're sick.

[B]

And now I have, like, Shane on board too. But we. I mean, our whole life is. I know. Our whole life is here.

[A]

Don't uproot my family either.

[B]

We're.

[A]

We're in a good little rent circle because now that what we have is 2,000 more dollars.

[B]

What do you mean? Oh, right. And yeah, your landlord's not going to increase, not by $2,000.

[A]

I don't think that's legal, right? Isn't that. That's not legal, right? Don't give her any ideas. Cut that out. She's watching.

[B]

Today's podcast is also sponsored by hello Fresh and nothing Quite hits like home cooking and hellofresh makes it easier to do more of that this year with recipes that feel good and taste delicious night after night after night. Elizabeth and I love using hellofresh. We're using it constantly for our families. Elizabeth has been on a kick with

[A]

the broccoli cheddar risotto. Is that what you mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm just stuck in my head because I literally have to. I'm just thinking to myself like, oh, you gotta choose your meals for this week. You gotta choose your meals this week. So I'm just trying to remind myself that I have to put my order in because it has been such a relief to just have all the ingredients sent to our house without me having to worry about finding a recipe and then putting it together.

[B]

Exactly. It's just sitting down there waiting for you to go to your kitchen, pull it out and make. Somebody like me who's horrible in the kitchen can execute on a hello fresh meal. And honestly, my whole family enjoys eating it.

[A]

Their menu is also so extensive that there's something for everyone.

[B]

1 well, they have over 100 recipes every week, including cuisines from around the world. You can actually choose from more than 35 high protein recipes each week including Mediterranean and GLP. One friendly options. I like that. We can feel great about what we're feeding our family because they have wholesome ingredients like sustainably sourced seafood and 100% antibiotic and hormone free chicken. There's now also three times the amount of seafood at no upcharge. And you can now get seasonal produce like pears, apples and asparagus. When dinner tastes this good, nothing quite hits like home cooking. And of course, hellofresh has come through for all of you guys. Right now you can go to hellofresh.com thesip10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free zwilling knife. $145 value on your third box. That's hellofresh.com thesIP10fm to get 10 free meals and a free Zwilling knife offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. You went to freaking Project Hail Mary.

[A]

Yeah, I did.

[B]

That's so cool.

[A]

Do you know?

[B]

Yeah. Ryan Gosling. Are you kidding me?

[A]

He's so hot.

[B]

I love Ryan Gosling.

[A]

I didn't know I loved Ryan Gosling.

[B]

What are you talking about? Have you never seen the Notebook?

[A]

Joe watches the Notebook like once a month but for some reason said something nasty about Ryan Gosling after we left. Hail Mary. He's like he needs to start drinking something different because he just is too much of himself in every character.

[B]

It works.

[A]

It works.

[B]

If it works, it works. Why change something that's working?

[A]

I read the book. The Hail Mary project. Yeah, everything's a book, okay? Even the Notebook, believe it or not.

[B]

Really? Yeah, that was a book.

[A]

First it was okay, but yeah. No, Project Hail Mary is, I believe, like a critically acclaimed audiobook as well. I read the book. I didn't listen to the book because when am I gonna do that? I already lost the fucking headphones I bought so I didn't have to watch things in silent. Now I'm watching things in silent again. My life is tragic.

[B]

You bought AirPods?

[A]

I bought AirPods.

[B]

What happened to them?

[A]

If I knew, I would tell me and then I'd go get them back. I had them. What do you have?

[B]

Do you want to know if I caught it or.

[A]

Make a wish. I'll get right. I'll beat his ass.

[B]

Well, if I caught him to death, what happens if I caught it? It's good luck.

[A]

Yeah, I'm gonna beat his ass.

[B]

Three, two. I didn't catch it.

[A]

Oh, sorry. I was ready to kill.

[B]

Eyes are so.

[A]

Yeah, no, they. It sucks in here. I'm gonna be real with you. This is. This is not ideal.

[B]

How do we do, like, an eye flush when I wear contacts?

[A]

How do we do an eye flush when I have this much makeup on? Should I start crying again? All I do is cry, cry, cry, no matter what. What did Lewis do Louie? What did he do, that cat and who you love more than me?

[B]

Well, last week, but not anymore. I mean, when I know that I'm still at the bottom of your family's list, it's hard to.

[A]

But no one in my family is a cat.

[B]

Well, okay. Fucking. Fuck you.

[A]

Honestly, though, like, cats are a little bit less than, right? They don't give a fuck about you.

[B]

Yes, they do.

[A]

Prove it.

[B]

My cats love me.

[A]

Do they?

[B]

What if Louis. Do you have behavioral issues when it comes to.

[A]

How do you know Louis? Honestly? I could see you getting love from Cheeto.

[B]

No, Louie comes in late, sits on me. They both come and, like, nestle up and sit on me when I'm sitting on the couch.

[A]

They do?

[B]

Yeah, they do. What are you talking about?

[A]

Do they have an, like, an alternative motive? Like, are they trying to get in your good graces for something?

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

I don't know, dude. Cats to me seem so self serving.

[B]

Oh, like, to themselves?

[A]

Yeah, that's what

[B]

I thought you meant, like, getting a cat. Seems self serving. And I was like, how?

[A]

No, I think cats are like about and about themselves.

[B]

Yes and no. Whatever.

[A]

What do we do?

[B]

I finally got a new rug in the main area because I was sick of looking at the previous one that Louie had destroyed. And I get a new one and I've been like, very on it. If they, like start using it as a scratching pad, I'm like clapping and spraying water at them and like really being like, we don't claw that. I got freaking three other things that they can claw that I put on and to the side of the rug while we're training that we don't claw the rug itself. Right. And we've done really, really well. I wake up this morning and Louie has barfed all over my new rug. It's like, there is so much surface area in this house. There is all wood floor everywhere. And you choose the one brand new rug to puke your brains out on. And so. Wow. My morning really was just destined to be awful from the start.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I wake, I'm spending 30 minutes scrubbing that rug. Scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing. I've already. I've already like mapped out my morning to the T by the minute of how I'm going to execute everything.

[A]

I think if you ever do that, you know it's gonna be.

[B]

That's probably.

[A]

Don't ever do that.

[B]

Because last night I was like, I'm gonna wake up at this time and I'm gonna be doing this by this time. And as soon as I sit down to film this morning, because I needed to film this morning before I got here. My gardener text. No, no, that was prior to that. So I'm already running a little behind.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

And then as soon as I. Yeah. Sit down to film what I needed to film my garden, and then I'm driving over here and it's like, I got an audition. Great. But it's like, I don't have time to turn around.

[A]

Is it a good one?

[B]

Due tomorrow morning? And it's like, no. Is it a good one? It's okay.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

It's for a pilot presentation. So it's not picked up, but it's for a presentation. And so. But then I'm just. And then I get here and there's the construction and I, like, don't have access. But it's all fine. Everything's great.

[A]

You know, in times like these, I always remind myself, like, we are in such a blessed position to have the option to manage these problems.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Because there was a time in our lives when we didn't. And that. And I cannot fathom facing the problems that we have.

[B]

And how boring would my life be? Like, everything. All of these things are things I could say no to if I had to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, so, like, what about the leak? Well, yeah, you got to deal with that.

[A]

I'm talking about bad, bad stuff. Oh, I'm not talking about the good stuff. But I have, like. One of my favorite quotes is like, life is the blessing. That's it. Life is the blessing.

[B]

No. And every time I'm manifesting nowadays, I'm always like, but I don't need for anything. What I have is plenty. Yeah, I have enough. But still dare to dream.

[A]

You know, I mean, dreaming. We're all. Everybody's within their rights to dream.

[B]

No, I know, but sometimes I don't want it to be like, to. I don't know. Like. I don't know. But you have to dream to stay motivated. Yeah, but, you know, I still want to be thankful for health, for anything, for life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's great. Beautiful. How lucky are we?

[A]

I also like to think to myself, like, I hope that I stay desperate enough to live in this faith so that I can be the person that I need to be to have all these blessings, period. I'm also. This is a hard left turn.

[B]

Go for it.

[A]

It. I. As much as I'm liking wearing jorts.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I think they're giving me diaper rash.

[B]

That would be called chafing.

[A]

Oh, it's a thing.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

People. J.

[B]

What?

[A]

Jing.

[B]

What did you say?

[A]

J.

[B]

Upper thighs short.

[A]

No, it's my.

[B]

Oh, then I don't.

[A]

Well, look at this. I'm stand up.

[B]

Too big.

[A]

No, no, I'm going to stand up.

[B]

Please do.

[A]

They are so far up my.

[B]

Oh, that's ridiculous.

[A]

Can you see?

[B]

No, you're like.

[A]

Can you see?

[B]

You have, like, a thong wedgie, but with your jorts. What's wrong with those jorts?

[A]

Dude, it's all jorts.

[B]

Are those pants? Well, I.

[A]

It's all jorts.

[B]

I think it's the way that they're cut because they're writing because they're cutting right where they fold.

[A]

It's all jorts, really. No matter the cut, it's all jorts. They find their way up and in. And my. Is raw.

[B]

So it's giving you diaper rash in your. Or I'm like, as your puss.

[A]

No, they're different.

[B]

I mean, same slit. Yeah, that's what we've discovered.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, your definition of slit is confusing and vague, so I'm gonna say yes for your sake. But technically, I have, like, a V slit and a B slit. But it is like a luge, depending on which way I'm.

[B]

Well, no, but there's one skin flap. Like, if I pull your flap wide open, I'll discover the two holes. Don't get me all fucked up on this again, because I've come to the conclusion that what I know is right.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

So if you're gonna tell me there's two separate slits again, then we're like, well, there's problems. And I watch straight pornhub again, and that's not ideal for me.

[A]

There's labias, and then there's butt cheeks.

[B]

What? And they're not found in the same crack. This is what you and Morgan taught me. I know you're taking it back.

[A]

That's why I'm saying, spread it open

[B]

right now so I can get to the bottom of this.

[A]

It's like a straight luge, but my butt cheeks aren't, like, continuous.

[B]

I thought that's what we learned. I genuinely thought that's what we learned.

[A]

I'm so glad I came here today instead of just saying home and scream, crying.

[B]

Wait, so there was.

[A]

Don't think about it.

[B]

I don't even want to look.

[A]

Just let it go.

[B]

I don't want to look into it.

[A]

I don't want to know. Just let it go.

[B]

I'm not interested. To tell you the truth, my ey are already so itchy that what does it matter if I know what a vagina.

[A]

Yeah, if you knew what a vagina looks like, you'd be more itchy. Let's talk about my eyebrows. Do they seem like they did that one time? Because I'm still trying to make the rare beauty eyebrow stuff work because it is like paste, but it's also like paste. And then I'm like, am I just gluing these down?

[B]

Okay, should we get into Hot Topics?

[A]

No, let's get to the bottom of this. Also, sound off in the comments below. Do I buy this shirt from Nuuly? Yeah, I do.

[B]

You think? I mean, if you buy it right here, right now, you just get to keep that one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, we like it because it does spark so much joy.

[B]

If it sparks joy, then keep it.

[A]

Okay. And I ordered these shorts for my next box to be a size smaller, which might not be great for my jort. My jafing.

[B]

Well, I don't know if it's chafing. If it's in the. Chafing is, like, of the upper thigh.

[A]

So I have diaper rash from this, I think.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because it just feels raw, man, and, like, bruised almost. Are you vomiting?

[B]

I just saw a rug that's clean. I need to destroy it.

[A]

No, I get it. I do. Yeah. So fuck Louis.

[B]

It is. We gotta barf train these animals. You find the wood floor, and you

[A]

find it Wood floor, You stupid. Well, it's hot today. It's gonna be 86 in vanilla.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

And on days like this, I like to kick back and help myself to some fucking room temperature tea room sitting out and steeping for a few weeks.

[B]

Well, no.

[A]

And then I throw a lemon in it and some ice cubes and pretend like it's not that old.

[B]

I think the Mormon drama is, like, within the week. I don't think we're as hot as this topic could get for our show.

[A]

Well, I watched all of the Mormon Housewives.

[B]

Oh, my God. After this stuff broke, you went back. I had been watching.

[A]

I am deeply disturbed by this show now.

[B]

I mean, it is wild. I haven't seen the show itself. I think we're talking about the Bachelorette specific.

[A]

So I feel like it's a chicken before the egg conversation, but we know the answer, and the egg was first, and that is.

[B]

I missed a button and nobody was gonna tell me.

[A]

Oh, I didn't even see it. Okay, so Taylor, Frankie Paul, if you live under a rock, you don't know who she is. So for those of you rock dwellers, Taylor, Frankie Paul was a woman who started this thing on TikTok called Mom Talk. And it's a bunch of Mormon wives out in Salt Lake City who, like, do tiktoks together. They blew up on Tick Tock because they're hot and have long hair, and

[B]

all the Mormon girls are, by the way.

[A]

Oh, my God. Good for them.

[B]

Like Utah beautiful women.

[A]

So they're the chosen ones.

[B]

I mean, they're beautiful.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. Crazy. Crazy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That might be a sign. So then they also, like, went sort of viral because their. Their families. There were some families that were involved that were swingers and they were trading partners and, like, dipping and doing the damn thing with each other's partners. And then that went kind of viral. And then before the first season of Mormon Wives aired, I did not watch any of the previous seasons.

[B]

So all of that led to secret wives lives of Mormon wives getting picked up, which is a reality show on Hulu, I think.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then another Important timeline piece is the first season of the Real Housewives of Mormon Wives. This is too much. Taylor Frankie Paul is at the center of it. And I believe, like, this might not be true, but like, I heard somewhere that like in the teaser for the first season, the cops are being called to Taylor's house.

[B]

I thought you just said you finished watching all of them.

[A]

It just one season.

[B]

Oh, so you didn't finish watching all of it?

[A]

No, I finished the most recent season.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I watched all the most recent season cuz the other ones, honestly, I couldn't sit through. I tried. So the cops come to Taylor Frankie Paul's house and she's arrested for domestic

[B]

violence and is charged.

[A]

And is charged.

[B]

Yes. And is has since been on probation.

[A]

And this was in 2023.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

So we've been known. Homie has some issues.

[B]

And I think it was even a discussion point amongst the girls in the first episode from what I've heard. I haven't seen the show myself.

[A]

Correct. And Taylor Frankie Paul has also gone on podcasts and said. And talked about that night in specifics, including saying that she got physically violent through chairs, was in a blackout, and would never truly know exactly what she did, but this is what she's been told has happened.

[B]

So cut to the height of this show's popularity. The Bachelorette is seeking their next Bachelorette. ABC books Taylor Frankie Paul having known that she has this in her past. And had I been abc, I probably would have been like, well, it must be fine because there's been three successful seasons of this show and it hasn't been a point of contention in a way that like, the public is adverse to because she's existing out in these streets as very popular.

[A]

Yeah. And also, Chris, can you google this? But is Hulu Disney and ABC all owned by Disney, I believe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And then I also.

[B]

They're already working with her, so it is like, oh, let's just move her over here. Yeah, but so they've already filmed. Chris says yes, they've already filmed all of the Bachelorette. I think it all hasn't been edited, but it was supposed to be released Sunday night. This past Sunday night. And.

[A]

And then this video comes out, which is the firsthand video from her sexual partner, on again, off again, emotionally abusive boyfriend, Dakota and baby daddy, which obviously

[B]

he leaked it right prior to the premiere of the Bachelorette because he did

[A]

want to hurt her.

[B]

To hurt her. And it worked. And it worked.

[A]

They canceled the show.

[B]

They removed the show.

[A]

Yes. Have you seen the video?

[B]

I have seen the video.

[A]

I cannot watch the video.

[B]

It's horrible. Horrible.

[A]

I physically couldn't watch it, which is

[B]

why he probably was like, I want to ruin her life. Let me leak this.

[C]

This.

[A]

At the end of season four tay of Mormon Wives, Taylor is on her way to the airport to go film the Bachelorette. The night before she spent with Dakota, sexually active, and then did all. Missed her first flight and almost didn't come to LA to shoot the film. To shoot the Bachelorette, her mother and her children and her sister flew out to LA before her and were like, if she doesn't come, we're done with this. We're cutting her off. Off. She's in an SUV on her way to the airport, FaceTiming Dakota. And he says, I hope you find love, because I want you to be happy. All I'm saying is save a rose for me. Allegedly, Taylor found a partner on Bachelorette, got engaged, and they were together through January of this year, and then broke up. And now people are saying that in addition to it being the premiere of the Bachelorette, she was back with Dakota. The police have been called again. There is now an open investigation for another instance of DB and is.

[B]

So they allegedly rekindled. And then it happened again, another instance. And that's when he was like, enough. And I'm gonna also ruin your life publicly.

[A]

Well, what's crazy about this guy? And I am not excusing her behavior because her behavior is inexcusable. I shouted at Joe one time in front of Billy, and Billy. The tenseness in Billy's body keeps me up at night and makes me cry. Like, I call Kate crying about it. I cannot fathom a world in which throwing things, beating him in front of my child, throwing things at him, let alone having something ricochet off and hit my child, who's scream crying for me. And I'm ignoring the own, like.

[B]

And this doesn't. Alcohol doesn't excuse anything. But in that clip, he does keep screaming at her like, you're drunk. You're so drunk, you're drunk. So, like, from a PR standpoint point, she could be like, well, I. I'm sober now, and I was.

[A]

I believe she is.

[B]

Oh, is she? Yeah. I didn't know if that was the case, but. Well, she's another.

[A]

She's on probation. And one of the stipulations of her probation is she's not allowed to be around.

[B]

So even if she is drinking, she's not going to say it publicly because she's on probation. But if there's another Instance, then it, I mean, I don't know, but it's just wild the fact that Disney was like pulled. Advertisers were probably backing out first and then they probably felt forced into doing that. If I were abc, because they have spent millions and million. I think it cost two to $3 million an episode. But you also have all of these people that gave up their lives to be on the show. Like, I bet 50% of these men just like quit their jobs to be free for months while they're filming the show, thinking that they're going to have a career in social media after it airs. And now that's like the trickle down effect for all of the people editing the show, all of the producer, just everything in general.

[A]

And they felt wild production on the Mormon wives too, that they're.

[B]

I mean, if I was Disney, I'd probably be like, we're dropping it all on Hulu. Enjoy it as a binge watch. Have fun. We're done with this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because, like, they have to recuperate the costs somehow. And she has. I saw on Instagram, I didn't fact check it, but I saw, like, just because, like, I saw the story. I'm. I wasn't familiar with with the Mormon Wife show or her being the Bachelorette, but then, like, it's hard to not like the story's everywhere.

[A]

It's everywhere. My dad knows about it.

[B]

Yeah. And so I saw that she's actually gained 120,000 followers in the week since all of this has gone down.

[A]

I do have to say I, as, as a woman in the throes of postpartum right now, and I do experience postpartum rage. It's a range, you know, But I guess she's not postpartum when this happened. Doesn't matter. I'm so triggered by this show because there are three women on this show who just had babies and they are tiny babies and their husbands are dragging those kids to all the events that the moms have to go to so the moms can keep breastfeeding them. And I, it honestly makes me want to cry when I think about how hard these women are working while postpartum doing what it is that they do.

[B]

That's what these Utah women do best.

[A]

They have, like, going on Dancing with the Stars, filming a reality TV show at the same time breastfeeding a child.

[B]

Dancing with the Stars is so physically and mentally demanding.

[A]

I couldn't, I couldn't run to save my kid's life right now, physically. The fact that Jen is on that show getting thrown in the air and doing that shit. Like, oh, my God, there's so much stuff in the air in this room.

[B]

So much. It's crazy.

[A]

So, yeah. I mean, the whole thing to me is like, like, it's a lot. It's a lot to take in. Then when I think about how they must be feeling mentally, the fog they must all be in but not sleeping,

[B]

they're probably like, this is a once in a lifetime, take it or leave it opportunity to change the trajectory of their lives forever.

[A]

Honestly, all of them seem like they're extreme abuse survivors. Two of them have openly come out and described their, you know, sexual and physical abuse that they faced. And, and, oh, my God. Like, oh, my God, the mental load, all of these. And they're young as hell.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And honestly, they look hungry.

[B]

Well, and it, it is very, in the Mormon way of, like, you get married and you have kids young, and you have a lot of them. Yeah. And like, having kids by itself is so demanding.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you throw on all of these extra circumstances. But I just, I, I, It's a crazy story I just can't even fathom.

[A]

And in, in the same breath is like, I'm devastated for Taylor if she

[B]

feels bad, because of course she feels bad.

[A]

I mean, I don't know, dude.

[B]

Oh, you're thinking maybe, like, she.

[A]

Well, to continue to show up and do a reality show after you did that instead of getting your shit together is crazy to me.

[B]

You don't think she could have been doing both? I don't know. I haven't consumed it.

[A]

The way that her life has been shown to us. It does not appear as though she's done anything to get it together because she continues to have huge, explosive outbursts on camera at her mother, who's expressing concern about her, you know, habitually going back to this guy Dakota, who just enrages her.

[B]

So they're bad for each other.

[A]

They're bad for each other. And she won't quit him. And it's just. And it's an incessant cycle, and it's like the crying of your child wasn't enough for you to stop this.

[B]

And if that isn't so much, you know.

[A]

Yeah. And then they even tried to tease a little bit at the end of the season that Dakota says a campfire, you know, Taylor told me she was ovulating the last time we went to bed together so she could be pregnant right now on the Bachelorette. Like, him saying that. And like, these people are toxic. These people are Toxic.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And so I hope she feels bad. I truly do. But the behavior behind it, I'm just like, I don't know how bad I can feel for a person who doesn't.

[B]

Who's created it for themselves. Yeah. And it's like, at some point, you can only hide behind so much. Like, the truth will always reveal itself.

[A]

And it's. You know, I've heard a lot of other, like, people talking about that too. They're like, she just seems stressed and emotionally vacant and like, Dakota's had this video the whole time. Like, she must have been living in anxiety of that the whole time. But it's like, I think it's bigger than that.

[B]

Yeah. And of course, the timing of it

[A]

is just malicious as hell on his part, but also, like,

[B]

yeah, wow.

[A]

All. I couldn't watch the video. I just literally couldn't.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

So I'd love to watch the whole season of the Bachelorette, though.

[B]

Well, they're gonna.

[A]

I will be very honest about that.

[B]

Well, and that's. They're gonna have to drop it on Hulu.

[A]

I don't know, dude. They could send it to me.

[B]

They're. They're gonna have to, like, I mean, it would be. It would be a rage, like, because, yes, the advertiser, they could just say, like, we do not stand by, like, what she's done in her personal life, but this, like, we are going to air it, consume it or not. Because they don't need the advertisers on Hulu. They just drop it.

[A]

A lot of people are saying that they don't want to watch it and they don't want to support it in that regard. And I'm like, I get that too. And for some reason, I'm like, this is the season I could watch. I can't watch the. The. The video or the clip. And, like, but I could, like, I consumed all of that fourth season, and at one point I was like, I should turn this off, and I fucking couldn't. So something's wrong with me too.

[B]

Okay. Who else did you want to talk about? Any.

[A]

I wrote it so that you could read it. Good.

[B]

Okay. Chaparral runs security.

[A]

I literally wrote Chaparral.

[B]

I did see this. I hate to dogpile on somebody when everyone's starting to agree with me, but it's just like, girls, this passive aggressive

[A]

Southern woman can't say what happened. For the people who don't know what

[B]

happened, I don't even know this time.

[A]

So what had happened was a version

[B]

of this happens with her every Day.

[A]

Can I tell them what this is? Before you get into it, a famous soccer player got on Instagram or wherever and was like, Chaparral Roan was a security guard. Was a. To my 11 year old stepdaughter. Apparently this little girl is Jude Law's biological child and his wife, his ex wife or his baby mama, whatever, took their 11 year old to Sao Paulo to see Chaparral Roan form as a birthday gift. Okay, they're at a hotel. Chaparral is staying at the same hotel. The little girl gets up from her seat and walks by Chaparral's table, walks by, does not stop at, does not ask for anything, gets up and walks by.

[B]

You can't even breathe the same air as this woman.

[A]

And so the little girl sits down, she goes, I don't know if it's her mom. Like, I can't tell because she's not in drag or whatever. And then a security team comes over and a man says, your daughter has, has like harassed Chaparral Roan. And you're a. You got to get out of here. And so the soccer player goes online and is pissed about it and is like, you Chaparral. And then Chaparral goes online and she goes, okay, about how I'm being me again. And I just want to say that wasn't my security team that came over and said and did that. And it's like it'd be weird if it wasn't. So just some random fucking guy in the restaurant recognizes that you don't want someone walking past you or.

[B]

And if it wasn't your security guard, then your security guard probably called restaurant management before you showed up and said, hey, if anyone's like doing flybys by me, I want you to stop it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I just feel like it's an

[A]

11 year old girl, though. Guys like, it's an 11 year old girl also. Boo. Who?

[B]

You're fucking famous. It's what you've always wanted. I'm sorry, she didn't want to be famous.

[A]

She wanted to be a singer.

[B]

Well then stop dressing like you're begging for attention.

[A]

No, that's in her work uniform. It's different when she's not in her drag. She doesn't want to be looked at.

[B]

Okay, well, when everyone else is at work and people approach them, they also have to talk. Yeah, sorry.

[A]

I just think if she's not in drag, she's not at work bad. Yeah, I, you know, I think everybody's entitled to their privacy, but can I tell you how fucking Much time I would find as a female who young women look up to, to be so fucking there for a young woman who comes up to me in public, I just feel at least not to crush one that. That did a drive by.

[B]

There's a way you hear all the time, like, celebrities, like, with their children, or they're like, I'm just being a dad today, so, like, I don't want to take a picture. But, like, thank you so much. Fine. She goes out of her way to, like, be it. Like, she's so off putting about it. Yeah. And it's just like, Taylor Swift is the most famous person in the world and you never hear her complaining about it publicly. I'm sure there's annoyances, there's videos of

[A]

Taylor Swift checking her security when they're not good to her fans.

[B]

And it. Because it is like, you're nothing without that. And I understand. Like, it just is. Like, if you want less attention, then be less in the public eye. There really is, like, the equation is that simple. Like, if you stop, it will eventually stop. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's like, if you hate what comes with this so much, then maybe this isn't the right industry for you. And it's like there's ways around doing things like this. I'm sure that there's private dining rooms at a lot of these restaurants.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That a lot of these.

[A]

Or you're in a hotel, room service.

[B]

And it's just like there's been so many things I've seen about her. Like, even when she's, like, getting on the red carpet and like, kind of like, is like, awful to her assistant, it's just like there's things that I feel like maybe we need to do some inner healing and maybe it has to do with, like, some of your own, like, trigger points. More so. And I don't. I don't know, I feel like she's projecting on some of it and like, yeah, yes, it would be hard to be a pop star, but I love her music.

[A]

By the way, I bought the album.

[B]

Her songs are catchy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just like deep in the passenger

[A]

seat and you're eating me up.

[B]

And then Kylie Jenner's former assistant explained why she quit her job. This came across my. My scrolling as well.

[A]

Did you read it?

[B]

I saw the clip. Oh, it's. She's on a podcast talking about it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And so I guess it's just like Kylie Jenner's longtime assistant. Former former assistant. Was like, down in the kitchen with Kylie. And Kylie was like, I need my laptop. And her assistant was like, yeah, who's gonna get it? Who's gonna get it? That is pretty far to go all the way upstairs and down the hall to your bedroom to get the laptop. Who's gonna do that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I guess she was like, I kind of looked at Kylie and I was like, I need to quit this job. So you're calling someone?

[A]

Oh, it's Joe.

[B]

Hey, Joe.

[A]

No, sorry, I have it open in case I get a call.

[B]

That's okay.

[A]

Oops.

[B]

So, yeah, that's that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So is she a podcaster now?

[A]

I guess with Stassi.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Wait, what?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that Kylie's best friend?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So now Kylie's former assistant.

[A]

Oh, they've remained friends. What came after that clip is that she had the conversation with Kylie where she's like, I kind of want. I think it's time, and I'm scared. And Kylie's like, I support you in all of your endeavors, and I want you to prosper and have fun. And they've been dipping and doing the friendship thing ever since she quit in 2020.

[B]

Oh, so this is five years late. Six years later.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Can you believe it's 2026?

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

I know. Wrap your mind around that one.

[B]

The Justin Timberlake. Oh, I haven't watched that Justin Timberlake. I haven't been able to bring myself.

[A]

Justin Timberlake owes Taylor, Frankie Paul, like, dinner or something, because she is catching so much fire that almost no one gives a flying fuck about about his Duwi footage.

[B]

Is it crazy?

[A]

God bless this man.

[B]

Is he like, do you know who I am?

[A]

Very much so. What do you. He's like, what does this mean for the world tour? And they're like, what world tour? It's mine. I'm on a world tour. And then he's like, do you treat everybody like this? You treat everybody like this?

[B]

And then looks at us.

[A]

They're just treating him the way they treat any DWI person. Like he's in handcuffs. He's. He's being booked looked. And he's, like, looking at his own reflection in the glass and smoothing out his hair. And, like, I just read this headline, and it's like, jessica Alba's not happy, but she's being supportive. And it's like, no, you're not happy. This is mortifying behavior from an adult man. And he's like. And it's also just like, Justin Timberlake can't help but be in his own damn way. And I think it's because low key, he sucks. And it's like. And it's okay. Like, people think I suck and I'm still happy. Like, you can still be happy, you know, don't be afraid to be that guy, Justin. Like, it is what it is, bro. Like, you got top ramen hair, you were nasty to Britney Spears, and here you are now getting exposed for being kind of like a little. And like, it's okay. It's okay. No one expected you to be more than that. Like, look at, you know, like, where did you come from?

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, like, Yeah. I think it's just a hard fall from grace for him because he was kind of like, hip and hot when he did, like, my dick in a box. And like, when he had that, like,

[B]

he was like a sex symbol, which honestly is the worst place to be in entertainment. You never want to be, like, the hot movie star or, like the, like, I want to, you pop star.

[A]

Poor Ryan coming for him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They were both on the Mickey Mouse club.

[B]

But if he can really act his ass off, then he'll be fine.

[A]

Fine. Let's pray. Let us pray. Because Justin also thought he could really act his ass off.

[B]

Right? Okay. Okay. Okay. So the Buffy reboot was canceled.

[A]

Isn't that sad?

[B]

That is sad.

[A]

Okay, so there was a bunch of hot goss going around about the Buffy cancellation because Sarah Michelle Geller was, like, out in these streets championing it. And the. I remember when I found out who was show running it or who at least who was directing the pilot, and I was like, like, huh? And she's an Academy Award winning directress. Like, she's a badass, but she's not

[B]

just a different fit, like a different

[A]

vibe in my heart of hearts. I just never would have thought, like, this woman's aesthetic and storytelling sensibilities are insane and phenomenal and gorgeous and like, oh, my God. But it's not the Buffy I know and love.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And. And, you know, maybe that's fine. Maybe they're. They're going in a different direction with the ip. I don't fucking know. But Sarah Michelle Geller is like, you know, I wasn't sure if I was in for a reboot. And then I meet with this woman and I'm just like, this is it. This is what the fandom wants. This is awesome. This is great. This is. Oh, my God. Wow. So that's when I got all in for it. I loved filming it. I loved the woman that they have playing the Next Generation. Slayer. And then she's on the red carpet for Ready or Not 2 at south by Southwest. And right before she walks out to do the step and repeat, Pete gets a call. Buffy, the reboot is being canceled. And she's like, that's really interesting timing, considering I'm about to walk the red carpet. The woman who directed it is about to go to the Oscars, and she's nominated. So it feels like a pointed, aggressive time for them to announce the cancellation of this show. And she also said that there was an executive producer on board who had never watched the original Buffy.

[B]

Vocal about it.

[A]

Was vocal as fuck about it. And she's like, I just think that's weird. And. And if, you know, he's to blame for this. Cut to. I got my hands on the script.

[B]

You did?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You did?

[A]

Yeah. How have you met me?

[B]

It's floating around.

[A]

Well, I'm not going to sewer rat. I can find my way in. I'm going to.

[B]

She was my way through some. And they were, like, championing her. And then they were like, well, I hope the pilot gets leaked. And she was like, actually, I hope it doesn't.

[A]

She said that?

[B]

She said that? And then. Then they were like, oh. And she's like, well, because pilots are for to, like, see what works and doesn't work. And it's not a finished piece of work. It's, like, for internal use to, like, create and cultivate what's going to happen next. And, like, I understand what she's saying, but also, like, if it wasn't going to, like, I'd be like, leak it. Because then, like, the fans are going to demand it gets picked up.

[A]

Well, I'm not going to leak it, but it's a fucking piece of shit.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

It is a devastating piece of pandering. And I truly believe that these poor writers were just notated beyond belief by a team of executives who don't know anything about the creative process. But what they respond to is what they assume is going to do well. And they assume what's going to do well based off of, like, these artificial scenarios that are just not true in the grand scheme of things. Things. And because of that, I think it got notated to oblivion. And because of the dark history of Joss Whedon being an abusive boss and a misogynistic. I think he's publicly said that he's a. But I don't.

[B]

Okay, we can bleep it.

[A]

Okay. Sorry.

[B]

107. 05.

[A]

I'm pretty sure that's public.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I know that he was canceled for having, like, like, cheated on his wife and stuff.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And creatively, I'm obsessed with the world that he built. You know, Buffy raised me, but I think in an effort to dip and dodge those hurdles, they, they, they overcorrected into a way that's, like, rude. It's both of us. Joe's calling me back because I accidentally called him and. But. But yeah, sucks. Couldn't get past people, page three.

[B]

And now it's not going anywhere. For now.

[A]

Yeah. But I didn't get the pilot, like, the video. I got the script.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. So I don't know what they actually ended up shooting, but I do know that if it was this, that's why. Bummer.

[B]

Wow. Okay. Well, I don't know what we're eating just yet, but we'll see you soon in the car. Today's podcast is also sponsored by Rocket Money, which Elizabeth and I both use. We're not girls that are good at managing numbers or finances, but thankfully, Rocket Money has helped get our money in check. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. They have so many tools that help make it easy for me to manage my day to day finances. I have every account that I have, money wise linked inside of Rocket Money. So I have a bird's eye view of of all of my accounts. I can see everything coming in versus everything that's going out. And when I actually see what I have and where it's going, I spend less because I'm like, I know what's going on.

[A]

It also gives you a notification if you start spending like a whack a do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I love because I don't want to. Like, sometimes I'm like, I don't want to know. Just let me know when I'm out of bounds. And they're like, you're getting close to the bounce. And I'm like, thank you. I'll chill. I can chill.

[B]

Or if it's a big purchase, they'll be like, did you mean to do that? I just like, yeah. It's constantly notifying me about my money in ways that check me in a good way so that I am constantly aware.

[A]

A lot of times people have, like, financial anxiety that turns into you, like, putting your head in the sand and not dealing with it. What I love about Rocket Money is that they're like, no, girl, pull your head out of the sand. Yeah, you don't need the anxiety. And we'll manage that for you.

[B]

It gives you the knowledge, I think when you're spending, spending, spending, hoping for the best, stress happens. But when you actually know it's just like a weight lifted.

[A]

It also, you can, like, budget through the app and it can also set up, like, set it and forget it savings goals where it just automatically takes money and puts it into savings for you. So it's like such a relief.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, no matter what I know I'm putting into my savings account, no matter what I know I'm not going out of what I'm able to do because I have a budget that has been given to me without me having to do the heavy lifting.

[B]

And of course, you guys all have subscriptions that you've forgotten about. Rocket Money was this display all of them for you. And with just a few taps, Rocket Money will help cancel the unwanted subscriptions for you. So let Rocket Money help you take control of your financial goals as well. You can [e-mail] sip that's rocketmoney.com sip rocketmoney.com sip or a taco Bell. No, thanks.

[A]

Oh, we should record on the app.

[B]

No, we shouldn't.

[A]

Hello, Making this last words.

[B]

Could I get.

[C]

There's two flavors.

[B]

Oh, are you there? Oh, yes. Can I get one of the jalapeno honey mustard crispy chicken crunch wrap. Oh, sliders. Can I get three of those? Three? There's a chipotle one. Oh, gosh, there's four of us. I'm sorry. Could I get four of the first one and then four of the chipotle ones, too? Okay. And then could I get the snake or the steak and guac nacho fries? Okay. Could I get two of the cantina chicken rolled quesadillas? Yep.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then can I get two orders of the chocolate fudge and caramel empanadas? And then can I get a large Mountain Dew Baja midnight dirty soda?

[C]

There's one dessert. Not on the screen.

[B]

And then can I get a large Pepsi dirty soda?

[C]

Your order,

[B]

One of the Pepsi Dirty sodas. What kind of drink? The Pepsi Dirty Soda. It's the new dirty sips menu.

[C]

I think we're the first person to order this here.

[B]

Okay, well, we're at Taco Bell, everybody. Hello and welcome.

[A]

They only gave you one of the one order of empanadas. Okay, I don't think that's the end of the world.

[B]

No, it is. They're small. They look bite sized.

[A]

I mean, I'm scared to talk to these people anymore?

[B]

I think maybe. Where do you see? Yes. And then can I get one of the lemonade dirty sodas as well? Can I get two more orders of the empanadas, the dessert ones?

[A]

Oh, I think you just need one more. That's like six empanadas.

[B]

Do you want the confetti freeze? Let's try. And then can I get a small confetti cookie freeze? And that's all are we doing?

[A]

She's like, I'm in the car.

[B]

Okay. Nope. Thank you. Yes. Just a variety.

[A]

Did. Did we get the Mexican pizza?

[B]

That's all. Thank you.

[A]

Spencer gets a confetti cookie freeze. But I have to go myself.

[B]

We need to die on the Mexican hill pizza right now. After there. We did this for, like, four and a half hours.

[C]

I will say the confetti cookie freeze is new.

[B]

Yeah, whatever.

[A]

You know what's viral right now? The Mexican pizza.

[C]

I guarantee you it's that I just

[A]

proclaimed it as such.

[B]

After you have one of all of these things, if you still want the Mexican pizza, I'll walk my ass in

[C]

there and get it for you.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

It's on camera. So.

[B]

No, I will.

[A]

Thank you so much for that.

[B]

You're welcome so much.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

So does everyone have Easter plants?

[A]

No.

[C]

When is Easter?

[A]

I think next weekend next.

[B]

Or this?

[A]

No. Ever.

[B]

The Internet has me, like, when is it? Advertisement has me feeling like it's right now. Everyone's like, easter, Easter. Hello.

[A]

It's Sunday, April 5th.

[C]

That's this coming Sunday?

[A]

No. Isn't it, like, the next one?

[B]

Yeah, it is.

[A]

It's the next one, girl.

[B]

Two Sundays. Why does everyone have me thinking, oh,

[A]

wow, that's a dirty soda?

[B]

Four small water cups without water.

[A]

This is so cute.

[B]

Okay, that was.

[C]

No, you're welcome.

[B]

Just cups.

[A]

Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Spencer did a good job and made us get this. And God bless Spencer, because literally no one asked him to come today. And here he is.

[B]

Yeah. Stop spreading.

[A]

Literally. We all got in the car and looked at him. We're like, oh, you're coming.

[B]

Okay. Literally. Okay.

[C]

He's the only one who said that.

[B]

Dirty sodas, here we come. Okay, I'm gonna roll this up for a second. Dirty lemonade looks disgusting. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know that the Lord ever wanted anyone to have a dirty lemonade. If you notice on the sides, we have some buildup.

[B]

I think you should shake it a little before we pour it. It looks like now you can see

[A]

the curdles flopping and round in there.

[B]

And so it's just cream, right?

[A]

Yeah. I'm so hungry. I have some sausage in my car waiting for me. But like I'm excited for this.

[B]

Can you hold that?

[A]

I've had a rough morning, Spencer.

[B]

We've all had rough morning, Spencer.

[C]

I'm not saying you didn't. I was more just.

[B]

How is that? You don't like sausage? No, I love.

[A]

It's sausage on a paper plate with a little bit of maple syrup.

[B]

You don't love a big sausage in the morning?

[A]

They're small links.

[B]

We don't like the big ones.

[C]

They're just sitting in your hot ass.

[A]

Yes, they are just sitting in my heart.

[C]

Should I run in and get.

[B]

Look at that on your head. The slider should be individual, right?

[C]

For like the empanada. How many did you get for you?

[A]

We have your hunting knife, Chris.

[C]

Yeah. I didn't clean it. I just got it from lick it if you're fine with it.

[A]

Lick it clean.

[B]

I'm going to have to park like a nightmare.

[A]

Oh no.

[B]

Oh no. I can back into this spot. That's perfect.

[A]

Look at. Oh, some free baby stuff.

[B]

Look at God working for us.

[A]

Should I go grab that little seat? Did I already tell you guys that Ernie's rolling over?

[B]

Yeah, you did. Okay, old news.

[A]

I'll just shut the up.

[B]

Shut the up. Shut the up while I'm parking. Just shut the up.

[A]

I'm going to shut the up.

[B]

We could all hope that Lizzy would just shut the up.

[A]

Honestly, I bet the audience would love a T shirt that just says shut the up.

[C]

Just shut.

[A]

Shut the up. Yeah, me mouthless.

[C]

Yeah, tape over your mouth.

[B]

Okay, should we try these drinks first? No, no, I know we should.

[A]

Oh my God. What is this?

[B]

Well, no, that's. Get out of there.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

Well, we don't even. There's two versions.

[A]

Can I have this? No.

[B]

Well, we're gonna try the drink.

[A]

Look how cute. It's like a little pocket sized crunch wrap.

[B]

Keep it and put it to the side.

[A]

No. Can I eat it right now?

[B]

Fine.

[A]

I'm so hungry my sausages die. Wait, does the sausage cup. Was that conversation private or was that on camera?

[C]

I don't think we've cut, so.

[B]

Yeah, nobody's cut.

[A]

I was sharing about my sausages if it was private information and it would never be shared with the outside world.

[B]

That's. Oh, but you gotta drink everything that's porn poured.

[A]

We can pour it outside on the floor.

[B]

Okay, right here's the dirty lemonade.

[A]

Should I just take a bite the bottom.

[B]

All the dirties at the bottom.

[A]

Just take a bite.

[B]

Go for it.

[A]

Really? What is this? Chris? What is this?

[C]

We don't need to dirty your cup.

[A]

Huh? What is this?

[C]

Well, there's two different ones.

[B]

Like. Oh, you can just have that.

[C]

There's a. There's a honey mustard and a chipotle.

[B]

Yes, and they're chicken. Can't we do this together?

[A]

I want it so bad right now. My mouth is watering.

[B]

Have enough? Yeah, we're fine.

[A]

Salud.

[B]

You can just have that. Cheers on the dirty.

[A]

Wait, let's. Let's. Everyone does a toast.

[C]

Okay, you wanted to eat and now you're doing. Make us do this.

[A]

Here's to my friends. All of them, including Spencer, who came along uninvited.

[B]

He didn't come along uninvited. I begged him. I said. I said.

[C]

I think I see that. What she was trying to get at. At the toast.

[B]

Oh, do you not. You want Spencer to not join us anymore? No, I love Spencer. I'm really just kidding. Okay?

[C]

She just wanted to chase you.

[A]

How. That doesn't sound honest anymore. Which is why it's me.

[C]

Hey, Chat.

[B]

Lizzy hates me. It just tastes like lemonade, right?

[A]

It tastes like a lemon. A lemon.

[C]

I love it so much.

[A]

A lemon creamsicle.

[B]

Or did we not get any of the cream?

[C]

I can taste it.

[A]

But we got the cream.

[C]

To me, it's just a sweeter, creamier lemonade.

[B]

He's kind of like melted, so obviously I'm on dairy.

[C]

Wait, this is so much dairy in this deal.

[A]

Did the.

[C]

There's so much dairy in this.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

This must be the chipotle.

[C]

To me, this is like, you know, an orange creamsicle.

[B]

Mm.

[C]

To me it has that like.

[B]

Oh, yes. Like the one in summer that has ice cream middle and the orange out. Honestly, that is pretty accurate. That's what it's like.

[C]

And if you like that, then you'll love.

[A]

This is phenomenal.

[C]

Two, take two.

[B]

Common. Mark. Lizzie's been mmm ing and oohing and ahhing. Living, laughing, loving this.

[A]

This is so good. I'm so glad Rylan got one for each of us because I'm gonna eat this whole thing.

[B]

All right, so this is. Oh, gosh. You really gotta shake these up to get the dirty going.

[A]

Honestly, I'm gonna finish this drink. Who am I, Chris?

[B]

It's good.

[C]

That one is pretty dirty.

[B]

This is pretty dirty. Okay, so this is the Coke, right? Or the Pepsi?

[C]

Pepsi, yeah.

[B]

Why don't we do diet? Okay. Is that possible?

[C]

I know it has, like, sugar cream in it. I don't think it matters.

[B]

It's the flavor. You didn't close the door.

[C]

I think I'm a dirty soda guy in general.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I think that's why it's become so. But honestly, we've normalized, like, making our drinks even worse for us.

[C]

Is it just like pouring creamer into a soda? That's literally what it is.

[B]

Yes. And I was watching this girl, like, making her coffee, and then this nutritionist, like, was like, I'm gonna.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

That's literally down the side of the.

[C]

Cheers.

[B]

Cheers. Salute.

[C]

Anyone else want a toast? They want.

[A]

Who's got a toast? Rylan, you do. A toast.

[B]

So happy on a Monday afternoon. I can spend it with great people eating Taco Bell. Spencer, who is maybe not. He's the only one.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think I'm a dirty set of guys. It's for me.

[B]

It's not for me.

[A]

It doesn't.

[B]

It feels dirty. It's not good.

[A]

It's not bad.

[B]

It's not bad. Okay. It's not bad.

[C]

I really like creamy stuff in general.

[A]

I think the main problem is that it's the best.

[B]

It's just got it. It's just funny because, like, even like the soft. But like, we've just made all drinks, like milkshake equivalents at this point.

[C]

We have milkshake everybody thing.

[B]

Like, yeah, we just made it earlier.

[A]

I shook some milk in a lemonade.

[C]

Okay, I'm here for it.

[A]

Will you pour mine out? Cuz I can't shut my door.

[C]

You open your window.

[B]

You, like, have nothing left.

[C]

Some of this slush.

[B]

Oh, the cookie can.

[C]

Well, then we wait for the.

[B]

Did anyone want more of this?

[C]

Where's the Mountain Dew?

[B]

Yeah, where's the Mountain Dew? That's the one we were all most excited about. What the what the what?

[A]

The

[B]

large Midnight Baja. Okay, let's eat and then we'll go back in and that will be like, our dessert.

[A]

I want to go up to the counter and I want to say, what the.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Sad.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

The last couple bites had a funky aftertaste.

[C]

Okay, I tried this. Everyone else get some first.

[B]

You have tried this?

[C]

This is the one I've tried. Yeah, I will say I have tried the crunch wrap.

[B]

Do you want some of this

[C]

to the camera?

[B]

Lizzy's here.

[A]

No one invited me either. Spencer, I will say

[C]

I'm gonna ask you next. Next sip episode. Be like, did anyone invite you here?

[B]

It's very artificial, right?

[C]

Wow, this seems like something Shamed. Like, I love this so much.

[A]

It's disgusting.

[B]

It's kind of tart, but it doesn't. Okay. It's growing on me.

[C]

Oh my God. That is so bad. Wow. Those are my favorite of the freezer.

[A]

What is this?

[B]

It grows on you though. The first taste is like off putting and then you kind of like.

[C]

I will say right after the dirty sodas. It didn't mix well with the flavor of the sodas at all. It's weirdly less sweet than the dirty soda.

[A]

No, it's not. Oh my God. Daycare just texted.

[B]

What do they want to say that

[A]

they missed Billy and Nick one.

[B]

Okay, so these were all in the same bag that Lizzy pulled from. So I'm thinking these must be what Lizzy just ate.

[A]

I believe I should have another one.

[B]

There's not one for you here. Sorry.

[A]

I could literally.

[B]

I guess you could go get our. Our glass and she has something to eat right now.

[A]

Do you want me to just take a. No, there's a hot honey one. I'm missing out on the hot honey Different.

[B]

Yeah, but these should be the same because they were all in the same bag and they're right. So I'm doing like.

[C]

What happened to mine? It's an interesting shape.

[A]

Well, you don't want it. Chris.

[B]

Everyone, thumbnail.

[A]

You don't even like it. You're not gonna like it. It's not for you.

[B]

Tastes like kfc.

[A]

Yeah, it does. Do you not want it?

[B]

There's more.

[A]

Oh, it's so gross.

[B]

There's more coming.

[A]

You can hear.

[C]

You really have another one?

[A]

Spit it in my hand. Do you hate it too?

[C]

No.

[A]

Chris, do you need me to finish it for you?

[C]

I will say there's a thing going on. I've talked about it before. I think beef is something is getting too expensive. And now all these fast food companies are like the new crispy chicken this and they're just putting chicken tenders and

[A]

so the conspiracy is that all the cows in America are dead?

[B]

No. Well, it is suspicious.

[A]

Are you sure? Cuz I saw Yellowstone one time and they'd be murdering out in these streets.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

I have straight annihilating her.

[B]

Not while I'm eating like. But there is a theory that we did discuss on Shane's podcast that they're like, we are consuming more meat than there are population of cows and chickens.

[C]

I googled this and it made us seem very, very wrong about this.

[B]

What do you mean?

[C]

I also probably think that's wrong. It was like, oh, just for McDonald's alone, it's like 5% of the cows or something. Well, it was like, so that the US has enough cows to feed the population.

[A]

No, let's start a. Let's start a resource war.

[B]

Whatever. We don't need to get into that when we're eating meat. Okay.

[A]

What do you mean? A scarcity of meat disgusts you while you're eating meat?

[C]

Yeah, that just makes it that much sweeter.

[B]

The same way I couldn't eat lobster wearing a lobster shirt. Like, I would be a vegetarian if I could be emotional. Yeah, you love your dogs.

[A]

I'm not trying to eat.

[C]

But you eat dogs.

[B]

Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, if I had cow, I wouldn't.

[A]

What are you doing to me in the public image right now? I don't eat dog.

[C]

The. The important thing is that this is delicious.

[A]

So you guys all like it?

[B]

The sauce is nice. Yeah.

[A]

You guys getting that weird aftertaste from it, though.

[B]

I think it's the artificial cheese.

[A]

Oh, I'm so glad. This bag is heavy.

[B]

I throw chicken nuggets by itself. What? The chicken nuggets? Oh, no, it's really good, actually.

[C]

Definitely going to need utensils for those.

[B]

Did they give it who? That's the new chicken wrap.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

If you're go. Well, wait, Chris, wait.

[A]

Yeah, wait, Chris.

[B]

We'll get it with the.

[A]

I just didn't watch all over it.

[C]

What is it?

[B]

Cuz we need to get the drink too.

[A]

It's the chicken thing.

[B]

We got two of those. So this is Chris's that hasn't been touched. And then Lizzy and I will share this one.

[C]

Oh, I see. You guys have any sauce?

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Here's your Cantina chicken wrap. I bet this.

[C]

Yeah, they want to see the cook. Good. Taco Bell is the best at having new stuff.

[B]

They are really good at.

[A]

So that's its front side and that's its backside. It's loosely wound.

[B]

And they are really. They like hold conferences like freaking apple does. It looks gorgeous.

[A]

It's very cheesy.

[B]

We show this camera because this one won't focus when our faces are amok.

[A]

I'm blocking.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Is the sauce good?

[A]

This is having a chipotle taste. A lot of cheese.

[C]

You're off dairy there, right?

[A]

Not anymore.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

You're back.

[A]

We ruled out that it was doing any benefit for Bernie's spit up. Yeah. Oh, yay.

[C]

I'm glad you have cheese again.

[B]

It's still just spitting up, so why be miserable and Period. Not have cheese, period. You might as well dip and do.

[C]

This is the rage, like, everything at Taco Bell. But it's so good.

[B]

Like, is this called the cheese roll up?

[A]

It's very similar to quesadilla, the Mexi melt.

[B]

Shane would love this because he loves his chicken. The chicken quesadilla is the favorite thing on. On the menu. For shame.

[A]

This could use some sour cream.

[B]

And this rolled up, though. Like, I feel like you. Dare I say you get more cheese.

[A]

It's definitely more cheese in a shorter region.

[C]

Yeah, this is. I'm a huge fan.

[B]

But this. This is incredible. It's like a nice warm hug.

[A]

I do wish it had some smile with some sharp.

[B]

I'm with that.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

I'm so sorry. I'm just someone who. There's no such thing as too much cheese. And this has a lot of cheese.

[B]

A lot of cheese. Yeah.

[A]

Mm. I'm not gonna have to eat my car sausage. Tell you what.

[B]

Who will save that bad boy for tomorrow?

[A]

For real?

[B]

For real. Leave it in that molding car.

[A]

Yeah. Next time I'm driving my kids somewhere, I'm like, oh, thank God this sausage is here.

[B]

Right?

[C]

It's so sick.

[B]

What other kind of.

[C]

Why are we getting sick again? It's like you're eating meat you've left in your car in, like, 90 degree

[B]

period making guac nacho fries. Well, there's another crunch wrap, right? There is?

[C]

Yeah. There is jalapeno honey mustard, crispy chicken crunch.

[B]

Oh. Oh, those are empanadas. Oh, my God. I forgot. We have empanadas too. We are blessed.

[C]

This one is up.

[B]

That one.

[A]

Give that one to Chris then. I'm just kidding. I only said it because Chris's was. Throw it at him for him.

[B]

Throw it at him.

[C]

Can you throw some more back here? I want to be involved in the next scandal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Eat with us long enough and you will be good luck. Oh, the sauce on this is really sweet. It's a sweet mustard.

[C]

A honey mustard, some might say.

[B]

Oh, is that what it is? Yeah. Yeah. You ordered it, girl.

[C]

This one's way worse than the other one.

[A]

Worse, is it?

[C]

Yeah, it's not as good.

[A]

I don't even like the smell of it, to be honest with you.

[B]

Well, do you guys like honey mustard?

[C]

Honey mustard's not, like, doesn't fit into taco.

[A]

Oh, they have no business with honey mustard.

[C]

Why is like. Yeah, that's like a sandwich material.

[B]

These tastes like McDonald's to me.

[A]

This is not.

[C]

Yeah. McDonald's would do this honestly.

[A]

I'm not finishing it.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The other one is better for sure. I think we're all in agreement.

[B]

I don't hate it.

[C]

I don't hate it. But I think the other one was better. Why didn't they do like jalapeno roll Ranch period?

[B]

I'm not mad about it.

[A]

Okay, then don't be mad.

[B]

I'm not.

[A]

Then don't be.

[B]

I won't.

[A]

Cool then. Me neither. I'm clearly upset.

[C]

Do you like it more than the other one?

[B]

I don't remember it at this point.

[C]

That was so long ago.

[A]

Days and days.

[B]

I mean, you know, we're eating Taco Bell.

[A]

It's all the same stuff.

[B]

It's just all really good.

[C]

Good, you know?

[B]

That's a good point.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Well, am I revisiting it after I said I would never?

[B]

Maybe.

[C]

I. I think it's good.

[B]

Maybe you try biting from the other side.

[C]

Do you have any napkins up there?

[A]

No. Oh, yeah.

[B]

I like it.

[A]

I don't know. I don't like it.

[B]

That's fine.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Dark moment here on the pod.

[A]

I hate it.

[B]

You know though. I will give them that. Everything is just so warm. Yeah. It's so comforting. Yeah.

[A]

It's so funny because doesn't Domino's like they're. The way they describe their pizza is like it's hot and it's ready. Like that's all

[C]

that is always. You know how Coors Light they advertise like your beer is going to be cold. It's like.

[A]

Like will it cuz warm Coors Light.

[C]

If you don't put it in the fridge, it's going to be warm. Like I don't. I don't know how they go. Cold as the Rockies.

[B]

Lies are we. Trash truck. Trash truck.

[C]

This is what my kid. You guys already talk about Chapel run?

[B]

Yeah. What are your thoughts?

[C]

He's dating her on my babe. No, it's kind of a bad look.

[B]

It's a horrible.

[C]

Especially because soccer fan and the guy, it's like. It's not like some random girl. It's like it's Jude Law. No, it is.

[B]

No, it's not.

[C]

It's a soccer player.

[A]

No, it's her stepdaughter. It's Jude Law's kid.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Prove it. Okay, well, it's just like stop dressing like you're begging for attention. If you don't want attention, mention. But I don't know how many times I can tell you. I don't care if you're also the

[C]

girl the girl didn't even say anything to her.

[A]

She didn't drive by?

[B]

No. She needs to be checked and I don't want. I like, I don't like when anyone dog piles on anyone just because it's. I know what it feels like, but it's like girl, just like take a moment to reflect for a bit, like you've achieved something great. Just be happy about it.

[C]

I also, I mean, I don't know, but people were also saying like I don't think it was her security. It was like she's in another country. So it was just like a sign to her.

[A]

Yeah, the mother of Jude Law's 11

[B]

year old daughter that security was instructed by her security on how to behave.

[C]

Hey, right, so she's got double famous dads period. Anyway, I'm really just let mean, I mean, didn't mean to bring that back up.

[B]

Oh no, that's fine.

[A]

You're. You're more than welcome to if it's, you know, stuck in your craw. That's why we invited you.

[B]

Are these empanadas around?

[A]

Oh, we're doing well.

[C]

Got the fries.

[B]

Oh, we have to get forks for the fries. Oh, Lizzy's the only one that doesn't have one.

[A]

Oh, they only gave you two of them and you paid for three.

[C]

Are you serious? You'll break them in half.

[B]

I don't want any.

[A]

They only charged you for two. Dessert empanad. It's fine. I want none of it. Or why don't you and Spencer share it and then give Chris's own.

[B]

Okay, that's fine. This is fine. Spencer and I.

[C]

You don't want to have.

[B]

Lizzy doesn't want it.

[A]

I'll take a bite of his French one.

[B]

She's off dairy.

[A]

Do it up high. Do it up high so we can see you weirdo.

[B]

Oh God. This one doesn't break easy.

[C]

What are these flavors? Chocolate and caramel.

[B]

I believe this one's. Is it caramel or caramel?

[A]

I say caramel, you say caramel.

[B]

It's fine, it's fine. I mean this is a worse version of the donuts. What are those called?

[A]

Churros.

[B]

Cinnabon delights.

[C]

Yeah. Why would you not get the cinnamon? This one's kind of dry. They're not good. Actually, that's my, my new take.

[B]

They have Cinnabon delights. What are they doing with anything else, period?

[C]

The caramel is better. I used to love the caramel one, but the chocolate one is really dry. At least the one that I got, you know I've never been to Cinnabon. And you love the cinnamon roll. It's my favorite dessert. That crazy?

[B]

The way you're looking at me do this is like crazy.

[A]

I'm in. I'm inside of it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, I'm part of it.

[C]

This would be good. I honestly think it was just like. I don't know if it was overcooked or something. It's like dry brownie.

[A]

Better. Fudge maybe.

[C]

It could be good.

[B]

I think it's good.

[A]

I taste that one.

[B]

I mean, it's dry.

[C]

I really think if this wasn't cooked overcooked, it would be good.

[B]

The.

[C]

The. I haven't tried this one yet, but

[A]

am I an a hole? I don't think I get an empanada.

[C]

Even a meat one?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like a tiny meat pie.

[C]

Just like a dumpling, basically.

[A]

But not because there's more breading around it.

[B]

I like it. I just think. I know that a Cinnabon delight exists. Yeah.

[C]

I just want to be clear. These are bad representations.

[A]

Should I finish this?

[C]

Yeah. I wouldn't take anything Taco Bell. It's like.

[A]

No. It's authentic as.

[C]

No.

[B]

Well, I like it. I just don't think it stacks up.

[C]

But I swear I've had this in the past and it was better. They should have put cinnamon sugar on the outside.

[A]

I think you had the apple one.

[C]

I guess that's just a cinnamon.

[B]

I like it. Yeah.

[A]

What a delightful day.

[C]

Super, super dry today.

[B]

I like it. Should I go back through the drive thru or down?

[A]

We can't handle that again.

[B]

Well, we need forks.

[A]

Yeah, we need forks. In the midnight blast.

[B]

In the midnight blast.

[A]

Let's go through the drive through again.

[B]

Okay. We'll be back there. Two, take three.

[C]

Common mark.

[A]

What do you want from me?

[B]

Take a six. Oh. Show the people what we've got here.

[A]

We got the large Mountain Dew. Midnight Baja blast. Dirty.

[B]

Third time's the charm.

[A]

Third time's the charm. If you were ever wondering how many times you had to charm to get to this, it's three.

[C]

Oh, there's a person behind you.

[A]

Oh, there's a person behind you.

[C]

They got very close.

[B]

He saw me, but he couldn't wait.

[C]

Yeah, I was having two crashes this weekend.

[B]

What?

[C]

One of them was definitely my fault, but I flipped the guy off like oosis, you know? That's big of you to admit that.

[A]

You got in a crash and you flipped a guy off and it was your fault and you left.

[C]

I almost got in one.

[B]

That's cool. What did you do?

[C]

I just cut across traffic.

[A]

Where were you?

[C]

It was like a yellow light. It was kind of his fault, but like, it was a yellow light. I was waiting to turn left and they just like zoomed in. But it like, technically they might have had the right away, but I was like, you.

[B]

You just couldn't wait.

[C]

I mean, it was. I was in the middle of the. You know when you're like, pull forward and it's a yellow and it's. You know what I mean? You're supposed to turn.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like you. You've waited.

[B]

You got to get there.

[C]

I'm most excited about this one.

[A]

You are?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We didn't get.

[A]

It feels like you're, like being nasty to me the way you're shaking that.

[C]

The only one we really got the dirty sort of look was the lemonade. And that one looked pretty gross.

[B]

I think I need to stir this before I can give distribute it to the class.

[C]

Oh, I see it's all at the bottom. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, it fell fast. You're so good to us, you know,

[C]

Split it a little bit.

[B]

Who's first?

[A]

Apparently, it was me.

[B]

Ooh, look at the top, though. Frothy. Ooh, it smells. Oh, it smells awful.

[A]

Yeah, it smells like a toilet cake.

[B]

Like a toilet cake.

[C]

Yeah, it smells like cleaning solution. It looks like. It looks like that. That purple stuff you clean your floor smells like it too. Fabuloso. Yeah, it looks like fabuloso.

[B]

I mean, it's okay, but it tastes like we're poisoning our bodies, right? I'm drinking fabuloso.

[C]

It's actually not that bad for the

[B]

homies, but not that bad for something so bad for you.

[C]

Yeah, no, I would never get this.

[A]

Can I put this on top of yours?

[B]

Yeah, I like.

[A]

No, you do.

[C]

I don't know, maybe I shocked you,

[A]

Lizzie, but I you, Chris. Oh, man.

[B]

You missed your mouth entirely. How old are you?

[A]

12?

[C]

No, I do not.

[B]

Learning how to eat for the first time.

[C]

If a 12 year old missed her

[B]

mouth, I would have real concern.

[A]

I'm just a young child bride who's been forced to conceive children against her will.

[B]

Her husband's 50.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

Well, no, that's not a diss.

[A]

Love is love.

[C]

Love is love.

[B]

Love is love. Okay, I'm making Lizzies and I's.

[A]

That smells like breakfast.

[B]

Here you go. I'll give you forks.

[C]

Here you go.

[B]

Are you gonna have. Are you gonna treat yourself to any of the stuck fries, Elizabeth?

[A]

Of course I am.

[B]

Okay. There's your Fork right there. I'm getting a piece of the steak, some of the guac, some of the sour cream, some of the cheese.

[A]

I'm also doing all of that.

[B]

Yeah, you gotta get a. An all encompassing, a loaded life. Yeah. Okay.

[C]

Letting it congeal.

[B]

Three, two, one.

[A]

Nothing wrong with that.

[B]

I'm finding a few things wrong.

[A]

What's wrong?

[C]

Their fries are not good.

[A]

They're good when they're crispy.

[C]

I think it's sad out, too.

[B]

I don't agree.

[C]

The. The seasoning is not. I don't like it.

[A]

It's not for you.

[B]

All of it just tastes like 3D. It tastes like the 3D printed version of all of the elements. Right. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

Looks like someone was in the room and screamed cheese.

[C]

I really think this would have been good right away. Right, Right. If we ate it immediately.

[B]

I just feel like when Taco Bell has so many hits all the time. Yeah.

[A]

I'm not finishing it.

[C]

I got nachos. Bell Grande is better than that.

[B]

I don't like this. No, no, Chris is right. Maybe it's our. Maybe we let it sit for 15 minutes and that was our problem.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

But I don't want it.

[A]

I don't want it either.

[B]

I would go for the crunch wraps.

[A]

I would go for the crunch wraps for real. But they did have a weird aftertaste.

[B]

I don't need any of the drinks.

[A]

I don't need any of them anymore. It's like the sugar is leaving our body now, and we're all just gonna be nasty and negative, so.

[B]

Oh, and the cheese. Casey, a lot.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

What's good? What?

[A]

We didn't do a toast.

[B]

Oh, damn, damn, damn. Next time. Fucked.

[C]

We didn't do a toast.

[A]

Chris, quick. Make a fucking toast. Chris. Oh, God bless you.

[B]

How many years of the show?

[C]

Five. Yeah, so five years of the sip. Everybody cheers.

[B]

Hooray.

[A]

No one's okay now. No, it's all like the life is gone from the party.

[B]

And it's so hot now.

[A]

And it's so hot now.

[C]

Okay. That leaves an awful taste in your mouth.

[B]

Yeah, that. Those were horrible. Yeah, those were. I'm sorry, Taco Bell, because I.

[A]

Sorry, Taco Bell.

[B]

I like your basic ass nachos, period.

[A]

And I like your Mexican pizza, which you keep taking off the menu because you're crazy.

[B]

Did you want the that? You should have spoken up.

[A]

I've had my fill. I can't handle ordering here.

[C]

Yeah, that would have taken 20 more.

[A]

I can't do it with them anymore. I just can't. They've lost me.

[B]

My feelings are valid.

[A]

They lost me and they lost the plot and I just feel like a victim and I've got anxiety the house down boots.

[B]

Okay, well, you heard it here first period. All right, you guys. Well, this was quite the eventful Monday.

[A]

Just another eventful Monday.

[B]

Hope you all had a wonderful time. Did you have have. Besides almost getting in two car crashes, was there anything notable from your weekend? Spencer?

[C]

I got a friend in town, hung out with him. Oh, nice.

[B]

You guys know Tyler.

[C]

Say hi to him on the streets.

[A]

Hey, Tyler.

[B]

We love Tyler.

[C]

Love you, Tyler.

[A]

I love a Tyler.

[B]

Did you take him to any hot spots yet?

[C]

Where did I take him? Well, I took him to that restaurant you were mad I didn't take you in chain to, even though you would have hated it.

[B]

Yucky seafood. Gross.

[A]

What is it? What is it?

[C]

It's called the whole box.

[B]

Is it like a boil or what kind of se.

[C]

No, it's like ceviche. Oh, I love.

[B]

It's really good. It's very easy.

[C]

It has a Michelin star, but like I follow them on Instagram and it's super cheap.

[A]

Oh my God.

[C]

H O L B O x. I

[A]

literally follow them on Instagram, get a

[C]

meal there for like under 20 bucks and they literally have a Michigan on star.

[A]

How did you get off the wait list?

[C]

This happened last time. There's no wait list. There's a wait list for.

[B]

Oh, for what?

[C]

There's a wait list for. They have like a dinner, but you can just eat it. This is a bad way to end.

[B]

Well, did you have something to say?

[A]

That's why I didn't want to invite Spencer.

[B]

Oh, okay. All right, you guys, well, that's our cue to go. I hope you had a fantastic, fantastic time. We had a great day with you. We'll see you next week. We love you very much. Goodbye. And that's the sip. I hope you guys appreciated that little pan just for you. Dirty little.

[A]

Wait, I want to say bye again.

[B]

Sick little freaks.

[A]

Can I say bye again? I just missed you guys and wanted to say hey again. Hey, thanks for keeping me alone live these past five years.

[B]

You guys are the coolest.