Tasting KIM KARDASHIAN’S New Brand & Nothing Bunt Cakes ENTIRE MENU!!!

Summary

The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon

Episode Title: Tasting KIM KARDASHIAN’S New Brand & Nothing Bundt Cakes ENTIRE MENU!!!
Release Date: March 4, 2026
Hosts: Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon
Main Themes: Pop culture hot takes, mom/parenting life, dream analysis, celebrity gossip, authenticity in entertainment, taste-testing Kim Kardashian’s “Update” energy drink & Nothing Bundt Cakes

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Episode Overview

In this vibrant, often hilarious episode, Ryland and Lizze tackle their signature blend of pop culture, parenting reality, and unfiltered hot takes—with a special taste test challenge. The duo samples Kim Kardashian’s new caffeine-free energy drink “Update” and taste-tests the entire menu at "Nothing Bundt Cakes," inviting friends Shane and Spencer. Amid the sugar rush, they escalate their recurring discussions on mom-life adversity, dream interpretations, celeb drama (from Olivia Rodrigo and Taylor Swift antics to Zendaya marriage rumors and Jim Carrey lizard person theories), and the realness of their friendship. As ever, nothing is off limits and the laughs are non-stop.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Friendship Fights, Parenting Woes, and Laughs

• Ryland and Lizze open with playful bickering about missed zoo plans, feeling left out, and Ryland’s “saddest text.”
  • Memorable Quote:
    • Ryland: “I guess I'll just stop waiting.” (01:13)
    • Lizze: “It was really sad. I felt so bad...” (01:18)
• Skyrocketing from there, they riff on becoming “three under three” moms, weird baby names ("if you're naming your child Ocean or River, you're probably an asshole"), bougie LA parenting vibes, and post-norovirus beauty.
  • Memorable Quote:
    • Lizze: "I'm bouncing forward. I would say you look better than you ever have. Probably from the norovirus." (04:10–04:28)

2. Sick Days, Parental Chaos, and the Art of “Tandem Feeding”

• Both hosts share illness drama and sleep woes (post-nasal drip, upright sleep positions, finger gun blame).
• Lizze discusses “tandem feeding” her children—not without Ryland’s judgmental questions and humorous asides about OnlyFans and breastfeeding adults.
  • Quote & Highlight:
    • Ryland: "If you're gonna let Billy tandem feed, he's basically an adult. You better let me tandem feed too." (10:40)
    • Lizze jokes about adult breastfeeding for the Patreon/OnlyFans.

3. Mom Life, Power Struggles, and Getting Kids to Love You Again

• Lizze candidly recounts being briefly rejected by her son Billy in favor of “dada” and fighting to reclaim mom affection with chocolate milk and trips to the park:
  • “Mama did this. Mama gave you chocolate milk” (15:07)
  • “He's been nursing off me and sitting in my lap, and he loves me. All it took was a lap, little chocolate milk.” (15:09–15:17)

4. Dream Analysis! Career Anxiety and Manifestations

• Both hosts had career-related dreams the same night—Ryland’s about stressful waiting tables with Ryan Seacrest, Lizze’s about doing stand-up for Whitney Cummings but getting distracted.
  • Highlights:
    • Ryland: “I was being honestly triple sat… and Ryan Seacrest was also working there… my alarm clock went boom.” (19:42–20:02)
    • Lizze: “Whitney Cummings lays down on top of me on her back, and then I scoot... to the stage like the Flintstones.” (23:31)
    • Wisdom: “Is post-nasal drip your superpower?” (20:39–20:44)
• They humorously relate these dreams to their life crossroads: more kids or more career.

5. Parenting & Social Life: "Playdates from Hell"

• Lizze shares an epic “playdate from hell” story: kid-on-kid injuries, blood, destruction, and a dramatic exit—prompting mom guilt and social anxiety.
  • “Maxine throws open the curtains and throws her body against the window… most dramatic up end of a playdate ever.” (32:50)
  • Ryland: “God’s protecting me all these times you haven’t been able to come to my house?” (33:04)

6. Hot Topics & Pop Culture Rants

• The duo and friends riff on:
  • Olivia Rodrigo: “Did she give you guys the ick or was it just me?” (48:27)
  • Taylor Swift’s streaming/gimmick fatigue: Ryland: “At what point are we rich enough or record dense enough?” (54:44–54:52)
  • Zendaya & Tom Holland marriage rumors: “He was on a carpet... ‘Oh, they've been married, girl. You missed it.’” (56:24)
  • Jim Carrey as a lizard person, celebrity plastic surgery (Harry Styles’ confirmed hair plugs, Kris Jenner’s face), and the importance of gradual cosmetic maintenance.
    • “You don't go from brown eyes to green eyes and have a complete shift in personality without pooping on a piece of paper and allowing a reptilian to take over.” (59:12)
  • Benny Blanco’s dirty feet/fart podcast: Initially grossed out, they end up applauding the podcast’s “friends hanging out” vibe (77:00–78:28).

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Taste Test Extravaganza

Kim Kardashian’s “Update” Energy Drink (at Walmart)

• Ryland and crew try Kim’s new “no caffeine” energy drink. It’s clear and tastes like “vanilla orange almost.”
  • “The more I drink it, the less I like it...” (73:41)
  • They debate the science: “It doesn’t not have caffeine... if you’re sensitive to caffeine, don’t drink this.” (69:04)
  • General verdict: Tasty in small doses, questionable for whole consumption.

Nothing Bundt Cakes—Full Menu Test (70:00 onward)

• The gang samples every flavor: banana cream, red velvet, lemon, confetti, carrot, Oreo, chocolate, white chocolate raspberry.
• Overall Thoughts:
  • Bundt cakes acclaimed for moistness, icing, and event-cake vibes.
  • Favorites: Funfetti/confetti and carrot cake; lemon also praised.
  • Some flavors panned as too artificial/chemical (“fake banana,” “air freshener lemon,” “tastes like chapstick”).
  • Comparing multiple cakes at once less enjoyable than eating one on its own.
  • Quote:
    • “You're not going into Nothing Bundt to eat to Madam Bunk. You’re not doing what we’re doing here. If you get one little bundt cake and take a nibble, you’re like, oh, this is good.” (85:23)
• Surreal/funny moment: confusion over which is the “Oreo” flavor, accidental double tastings, and banter about straight guys not liking banana flavors.

Sal, the Video Guy, and Ending Banter

• New face Sal introduced—New Jersey videographer, editing for Shane.
• Closes with a circle of ages, favorite desserts, and sassy social plugs.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

On LA Mom Culture & Baby Names:

"If you're naming your child Ocean or River, you're probably an asshole." – Lizze (03:15)

On “Golden Era” Manifesting:

“Taurus enters his golden era... the sun is parting for us to clearly go through our path, period.” – Ryland (16:15)

On Parenting Manipulation:

“Mama did this. Mama gave you chocolate milk...” – Lizze (15:07)

On Kim K’s Energy Drink:

“It’s a bad color. It’s very bad... Oh, it’s clear. It smells like a Truly...” – Ryland (70:41)
“I would die. I just want to know as a gird girly, I’m not supposed to have caffeine...” – Ryland (72:12)

On Bundt Cakes:

“Every flavor is pretty chemical-y...” – Group (circa 84:00)
“The Funfetti is the only one I finished, so that means it’s probably the one I like the most.” – Spencer (86:36)

On Celebrity Gossip:

“You don’t go from brown eyes to green eyes and have a complete shift in personality without pooping on a piece of paper and allowing a reptilian to take over.” – Lizze (59:12)

On Podcast Vibes:

"It’s just a bunch of friends hanging out... they ripped off our thing, period. And Lil Dicky’s like, we've just revolutionized—no, you ripped off our thing." – Lizze (78:42)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:35–03:08: Opening banter, missed plans, parenting and baby names
• 09:28: Kids tandem feeding and humorous breastfeeding quips
• 13:04–15:24: Mom power struggles and regaining affection
• 18:36–20:54: Dream analysis (career, adversity, golden era)
• 26:02: Life crossroad: another kid vs. career focus
• 29:54–33:00: Playdate from hell story
• 48:11–56:09: Hot Topics: Olivia Rodrigo/Taylor Swift/Zendaya/Jim Carrey, etc.
• 70:00–86:36: Kim Kardashian’s Update drink & Nothing Bundt Cakes taste test
• 87:01–end: Wrap-up, introducing Sal, favorite desserts, podcast sign-off

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Tone & Language

As always, Ryland and Lizze’s banter is lively, irreverent, explicitly honest, and sometimes chaotic—full of personal anecdotes, sharp pop culture commentary, and a loving-yet-savage style.

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For Listeners:

This episode perfectly channels the spirit of “The Sip”: candid, funny, and unafraid to digress from chaos to candor. Whether you love juicy mom tales, pop gossip, live taste tests, or rants about fake bananas and celebrity hair plugs—Ryland and Lizze have you covered. As always: “That’s the sip.”

Transcript

[A]

It's bothering me. It's bothering me. I know it's bothering me. Devil's up to his truth.

[B]

I don't have time to fucking talk to you right now, witch fingers.

[A]

Dark energy just entered the room.

[B]

It's me.

[A]

You're dark right now.

[B]

Why am I always doing this? He's from New Jersey.

[A]

He's never heard somebody say bird girl.

[B]

Is it okay if I share with the class that I'm not tandem feeding my children?

[A]

We're leaping into our glory.

[B]

I'm at risk of becoming a three under three mom right now.

[A]

No, you don't annoy me. Except for the fact that you literally won't hang out with me.

[B]

That is crazy.

[A]

It's crazy. I felt I'm starting to be offended.

[B]

I literally stopped the entire meal I was at last night and went, oh, my God. Ryland just sent me the saddest text. It was sad.

[A]

Well, because I woke up in the morning and I said, are we going to the zoo or what?

[B]

I didn't get that text.

[A]

Okay. And then no response. I think you were just going at a thousand miles an hour texting me about everything and conveniently missed it. Then you called me and I was like, oh, are we going to the zoo? And you were like, now I have plans. I'll come after the nap.

[B]

And. And I said, if my plans fall through, I'll come after the nap.

[A]

You said, which, though, they're falling through because whatever, dad's up coordinating. Well, you said the plan is over by the time the nap ends.

[B]

I was wrong about that.

[A]

And so at 6pm I said, I guess I'll just stop waiting.

[B]

It was really sad. I felt so bad. I was at a meal with, like, six other adults, and I went, joe, Ryland just sent the saddest text. He's like, who cares? He shot me one of those looks where he was like, shut up.

[A]

I stand up for you on this podcast, Joe, when I text and hold your wife accountable for being a deadbeat dad to me. Rylan, I thought you need to defend me. Okay, Joe, listen. Because we're also in the same predicament, and your wife is dragging me.

[B]

And these hugs could get a lot colder, Joe, and you know that more than anyone else.

[A]

Yes. I won't even hug you next time I see you. Actually, you know, it won't even happen.

[B]

We're all fighting. I'm. I'm at risk of becoming a three under three mom right now.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah. Can you believe that? How is that happens so fast?

[A]

You Guys are just having sex again.

[B]

No, we're not. Your husband's like, let me slide into the DMs. No, it's just. I don't know. It could happen. I'm just saying.

[A]

We already announced the name.

[B]

Yeah, we already have a name. Chris. And I named my daughter in the car on the way here.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

This is how it starts.

[A]

We're both going to have two boys and a daughter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Are you also naming her Esther?

[A]

I wasn't going to. That's like, the most normal name you've ever thought of.

[B]

Are you joking? My firstborn's name is Bill. Like, doesn't get more NPC than that.

[A]

More complicated than that. To me,

[B]

It's just because everyone hates the name Ernie.

[A]

But I love it.

[B]

Billy, Ernie and Esther.

[A]

That's pretty cute. It is. Billy's like your black sheep, then without an E. Really messed up your Kardashian plan.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think about it like that, though.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

I think. I think you have to name your children independently. No offense to those of you who didn't.

[A]

You have a problem with children's names today?

[B]

Do I? Oh, yeah, I do.

[A]

You don't want to air it out, though, huh?

[B]

No, I'm happy to air it out. I think I've already said it. If you're naming your child Ocean or River, you're probably an asshole.

[A]

Oh, whoa.

[B]

No, that's just hard facts.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

I go to this event at the Sportsman's Lodge on Wednesdays for little kids and any mom who.

[A]

You do.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You've never invited me.

[B]

You're never gonna come.

[A]

I always will come now. It's easier. It's more. It's. It's easier.

[B]

On Wednesday nights, they do a shitty marinette marionette.

[A]

Well, it's nighttime.

[B]

It's in the evening.

[A]

Well, it's fine.

[B]

But we get dinner. It's like, it's at five. Okay, we get dinner there.

[A]

That's annoying.

[B]

At this little chicken, but error one's right there. Okay, you shouldn't come. It's a bad time for you. But this is my point. Anyway. There's one time there was a mom screaming ocean Paradium like something stupid like that at our kids. And I was like, h. I hate it here. There is a vibe of a specific parent that goes to the Sportsman's Lodge events, which I'm one of. I get it. But I'm like the lower end of it. You know what I mean?

[A]

I mean, yes. That is where that's like the bougie mom in Studio City or Sherman Oaks.

[B]

It's like the moms who did bounce back. You know what I'm saying? And that is not my vibe. I'm bouncing forward.

[A]

I mean, you look. I would say you look better than you ever have.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

So we'll just put that out there.

[B]

It's probably from the norovirus. You get a nice little glow after it. You do. It's like you're happy to be alive again. Afterwards, you're like, oh, my God, everything's okay. It's like you. You count your blessings after.

[A]

Nora, I'm waiting for everything to be okay.

[B]

Yeah. Cuz you're sick.

[A]

I'm not sick. But I am dying. And I'm gonna be honest. Last week, I thought I was going down. I thought it was going downtown, because Tuesday, it just crept up on me, and I was like, oh, this ship is about to sink, baby. And I was just dying. But then nothing else ever happened. I thought maybe I had strep throat because Spencer had strep throat the week prior.

[B]

And you guys have been sharing two weeks ago.

[A]

No, he didn't come to the office. Yeah, often we swap spit.

[B]

That's me being you and Spencer. I was playing both roles, and I

[A]

was like, is it possible I could get strep from him a week ago when I haven't seen him because he stayed home the whole time he had strep. But then I went to the doctor, and they were like, no, you don't have any of these things. It's like.

[B]

And I was like, oh, they said it like that.

[A]

Well, that's what it felt like to me, because I was like, no, it's strep, and you need to put me on antibiotics. She goes, legally, I can't put you on antibiotics for strep because you don't have strep. And I was like, you don't understand. You need to put me on antibiotics. I was in contact with somebody that had strep a week ago. I need the antibiotics.

[B]

Did she refer you to a therapist?

[A]

Not yet, no.

[B]

But it's coming.

[A]

Well, if this.

[B]

Point your guns at her. And she was like, maybe take this Lexapro.

[A]

Well, no, but honestly, I blame the finger guns on you because now it's a reaction I have that I've brought upon my life because of you.

[B]

Wow. Who are you pointing them at?

[A]

I mean, anyone that does wrong.

[B]

You're not supposed to point finger guns at anything you're not trying to destroy. Right. Like this is a responsibility you must respect the power of. I'm going to holster mine just for the rest of the show.

[A]

And so.

[B]

But know that I'm carrying.

[A]

I can just feel the like drainage going down my nose, down my throat and I'm like, oh, it's just going to last forever now.

[B]

I feel it.

[A]

It's just going to last forever. And so I've been sleeping in like that rehab position. They said like if you're on 90 degree angle gram, where you're at a 90 degree angle and then a pillow under your knees and it's like that's how you rehabilitate yourself.

[B]

When I saw that you were. What's the thing? Where did you put on the docket? What was the phrasing? Sleeping. Like you're in rehab.

[A]

Like a rehab patient.

[B]

Yeah, I, I thought you meant like a drug rehab. I was like, oh, so you're not sleeping well.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

Like you're sweating and.

[A]

Because the problem is.

[B]

And vomiting.

[A]

Who can sleep well like this? This is literally the position I'm sleeping

[B]

in like a Buddhist frog.

[A]

And I like wake up pissed off because then I can't fall back asleep because I'm in that position. But I know death is upon me if I sleep in any other position because the drainage just happens and it's just. Is like painful. I lose my voice and I'm like, I'm gonna have to get on that stupid drug again. That dries me out and beyond.

[B]

What is the drug?

[A]

It's like monotisculat or something.

[B]

But it dries you out.

[A]

It dries me out to a point where like, like there's like I bleed. Sometimes I wonder if I should give

[B]

that to Billy to dry him out because of his ear infections.

[A]

I mean, you'd have to consult with a doctor.

[B]

I am a doctor.

[A]

I have Google chat.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she's. Yeah. And then you're like, my husband's been coughing up a storm too. I wonder if that's just what he has. I was like, it's more likely that your household is sick and I'm without something that's spreadable, period.

[B]

Or you got something from my household and you think it's post nasal direct,

[A]

but don't you think a week later it would have developed some other something?

[B]

No. I feel like every time I get a disease, it's like a 12 day motherfucker.

[A]

But it never escalates because if I had. Yeah, like the last time I had felt like something like this that, I mean, didn't Turn into something. It was then post nasal drip. But when it does turn into something, the last time I felt like that it was, sorry, Sal's here. Sal's here. I don't know if you guys know.

[B]

Distract you. And he literally shuts down mid sentence.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But he's like crazy because he listens and pays attention to no one else.

[A]

He didn't like just approach into the scene. He. I just saw a camera lens.

[B]

He cinematically approached and I was like,

[A]

oh, he's filming a week in our life for Shane. I don't know where it's going to live or go yet, but that's just what it is. So Sal. I don't know if they know Sal, but they're going to. I'm going to force him to come eat with us today. He. Shane had found him a while ago and he was missing.

[B]

He was for a really long time, like one of those kids in the woods. And we found him and his eyes were all bugged out and he was starving.

[A]

Like my husband today, missing. Nobody knows where he is.

[B]

Call David Politis.

[A]

Who's that?

[B]

He makes documentaries about missing in the woods.

[A]

Sal was missing. My husband found him and now he's been working with us for a while even though he lives on the other side of the country. So, like, whatever.

[B]

Welcome, Sal.

[A]

Welcome, Sal. If he wants to eat with us, he will. Today he filmed the behind the scenes of Shane's pilot too. So we're all friends here. Except for. Oh, God. That's what Max does when he wants to piss me off.

[B]

I've just been pouring it all over the whole time you were talking.

[A]

You just want to piss me off.

[B]

Are you just like Max? You?

[A]

Max is so funny now. His comedy chops have really developed and we're like, you're funny. He's very funny.

[B]

Max and I FaceTimed this weekend and I think our beef is squashed.

[A]

My kids beef with everyone is squashed. They decided they want to be good times guys lately.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That's what's like making me feel like, oh, I could have a third week.

[B]

Should I just stay dripping? I don't know how to wipe it without ruining my whole face.

[A]

Yeah, just stay dripping.

[B]

Yeah, I love that your kids are good times guys. My kid has revealed himself as a good times guy.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. She sent me a picture of her newborn having a good time and I thought, oh, he's fun.

[B]

Yeah, he is.

[A]

Because for a while he wasn't. And I don't think it was his fault. He Had a traumatic birth for a while.

[B]

He was like, oh, fuck. Like, he had like that. Oh. He got home and he realized he was a second child. He's like, oh, son of a bitch. So. But he's happy.

[A]

He's learning to enjoy.

[B]

And is it okay if I share with the class that I'm not tandem feeding my children?

[A]

Yeah, go for it.

[B]

I'm tandem feeding my children.

[A]

And at what age? I. I don't want to project nastiness, but I do want to know.

[B]

You are being judgmental.

[A]

No, no, I think it's.

[B]

You want to drink? You want a little sip? You want to tandem feed with my baby.

[A]

I just said, if you're gonna let Billy tandem feed, he's basically an adult. You better let me tandem feed too. Chris and I better get on today.

[B]

You know what? On the after sip today, Chris and Ryland are going to be fed. Breastfed at the same time.

[A]

Are you kidding me? That.

[B]

Is that cheating? Is that cheating on my.

[A]

That is like, subscriptions are going to go through the roof, which I saw the highest. The highest income.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is an only fans creator now. Is like the highest grossing.

[B]

I thought you were going to say it. Only friends creator who's breastfeeding. I'm like, well, then let's go.

[A]

No, but that's seems like making our patreon and only fans for the week.

[B]

So we should breastfeed, I think.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I think subscriptions would go through the roof.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

Okay. Chris is on one, I'm on the other.

[B]

You guys better latch. You better latch bitch. You better latch merch.

[A]

I thought, like, oh, this is really cute. But then it's like, at what age is it no longer cute? Like, what age do you have an adult toddler? That's just like. It's weird. I don't think Billy's at that age, but, like, are we going until six? Because then it's like.

[B]

No, six is too long.

[A]

It's a little weird.

[B]

Yeah, it's.

[A]

But there's women that do that.

[B]

Yeah. And they're weird.

[A]

Okay. I just. See, I didn't want to project what was weird? Because I'm not a breastfeeder.

[B]

No, I don't want to project. I mean, I think tandem feeding is weird, but I also love it, and it makes me so happy. But I had a unique experience, and that's my. That's my experience. And people can judge it because that's how the world works.

[A]

I mean, if it makes you psychotically

[B]

happy, it makes me so Happy then.

[A]

Why not?

[B]

It makes me smile from ear to ear. And I like, because I. I felt awful when I couldn't breastfeed Billy anymore. Like, that was.

[A]

Aw.

[B]

Yeah, because I love breastfeeding my Billy boy. And the fact that he comes over now because when he was. I don't. I'll share with the class. Billy had a double. Did I already tell everyone that he had a double ear infection and that we are officially getting a consultation for tubes on Friday this week?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then. Did I tell. I didn't. Oh, no, because this happened last Monday. So anyway, Billy has a double ear infection.

[A]

Oh, you were predicting that that was the case.

[B]

Yeah, but I don't know where I was going with this.

[A]

Tandem feeding?

[B]

Yeah, no idea where I'm going with that.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Well.

[B]

Oh, so while he was dealing with his ear infection, like, before we went to the doctor, I took him out back and I was like, oh, I'll nurse him in case he has a fever. And like, this is curative. Not curative, but, like, helps him in some way.

[A]

In case he has a fever.

[B]

Yeah, like if he's sick. Like, if he has, like, the flu, is he sick? This was a long time ago. At least 10 days ago.

[A]

Okay. And mine started at least six and a half days ago.

[B]

Yeah. And you are sick. Got here and I started feeling a little. A little crispy in the background. Second I looked at you, I got a sore.

[A]

I was dying on Friday too, when I saw Chris. And Chris is just fine.

[B]

Chris actually said he was feeling a little crispy in the throat.

[A]

Well, he's the most allergenic I know.

[B]

Yeah, let's all point fingers.

[A]

Allergenic bitches. Although you're the only one that seems. I think it's because I live in the middle of the mountains where everything's blooming after.

[B]

I think it's because I can, you know, get knocked down, but get up again and you're never gonna keep me down. So I pulled out a booby to breastfeed him when he was wailing in agony. And he pulled my top up and covered my boob and he became a full on Daddy's way, which was awful.

[A]

And then you have a newborn and you're rejected by your oldest.

[B]

Can you believe?

[A]

After you carried him for. Basically that's what I said, I was

[B]

like, I taught dada everything he knows and he does it half as good as me. Like, that's some desperate shit to be crying for that motherfucker right now.

[A]

And then in the middle, take that Joe.

[B]

No, we've been playing this psychotic. Like, Billy goes, dad, dad. And I go like, yeah, he's stinky and smelly. I'd cry about it too. And Joe started saying to him, like. Like, Billy will be like, mama and Joe, like, she's a stripper. And I'm like, that is crazy for you to say. That is crazy for you to say. Anyway, in the middle of the week, Joe needed a break. So I picked Billy up from his nap and he had the largest tantrum of his life. Dada throwing himself on the floor, literally spiraling emotionally and physically. Was doing like, crocodile turns from his bedroom to the kitchen. Just going limp and then rolling. Dada stood up, put his hands against the cupboard, and started banging his head against the cupboard. And I was like, we gotta get the fuck out of this house. Cause Joe needed time to work. So I put Billy in the car and I was like, you know what, dad? I would never do give you chocolate milk. And I got him chocolate milk and I made him drink it while looking me in the eyes. And I said, mama did this. Mama gave you chocolate milk.

[A]

Oh, that's Shane's approach too. I hate you guys.

[B]

And then I took him to the park and guess who's back in baby. And he's been nursing off me and sitting in my lap, and he loves me.

[A]

All it took was a lap, little

[B]

chocolate milk, Just a grande chocolate milk. One pump of the mocha mix, and he is back with mama, baby.

[A]

Pretty cute.

[B]

You know who can't breastfeed you, Data.

[A]

Loser. Loser. Loser. I forgot about the mic flag.

[B]

I'm sorry. What?

[A]

Oh, we're on the Shane Dawson podcast today. Who the hell?

[B]

Oh, my God. Everyone's going to be so confused.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

What?

[A]

Ow.

[B]

That was my toe.

[A]

Was it really?

[B]

You literally just threw that mic flag right on my toe.

[A]

Flame. Shane. He's missing.

[B]

Honestly, where is he?

[A]

He's in the group text. That's blowing me up, right?

[B]

And he replied, I think so. Few. So he's okay?

[A]

I think so.

[B]

Awesome. I was about to call the police and make a report.

[A]

You want to know what else is awesome? He texted me the other day and told me. Well, it was a screenshot from Instagram and it says, March 1, 2026, Taurus enters his golden era. I don't know why they made it gender specific.

[B]

Maybe Taurus. It's as a he identifying sign.

[A]

It might just be because it's only meant for me.

[B]

I don't think that's.

[A]

I might be the Only tourist as

[B]

a Taurus who wasn't listening when you read what that was. I also identify with it.

[A]

So you're entering your. And it's like March 2nd as well.

[B]

What is it? What am I entering?

[A]

Golden era.

[B]

What does that mean?

[A]

Well, it's the year of the horse. So like last year was the year I was born.

[B]

In the year of the horse we

[A]

were shedding last year. Year the snake.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And it's the year of the horse now. So like our manifestations were leaping into our glory. But on top of that, you'll see

[B]

the horse when you do.

[A]

Entering their golden era.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So it's like we're the horse that's galloping and the sun is like the sea is parting for us to clearly go through our path, period. And although I'm down and out, I think that's happening for me. You know what I'm saying? Like I'm, you know, like now I just have like a distraction, but that's like making me clear minded in other ways.

[B]

Maybe it's distraction.

[A]

This fucking. Shut up.

[B]

No, sometimes we do allergies, and while I'm trying to leap into my golden era, the allergies are trying to hold me back.

[A]

No, no, no. I'm saying maybe it's making me more empathetic, which is opening. I'm just saying you have to work with your tool. As I deep dive into acting more and it's like, oh, well, you have to have like this bigger.

[B]

Now he's gonna have deeper pocke empathy to dig from because of his post nasal dress. Now he's faced adversity.

[A]

Well, now I'm. I'm struggling with a distraction so I can be more present here because I'm not hyper fixating on the fact that I'm performing, period. Such can work for regular life too.

[B]

Something we've been saying in our mom group is everyone just needs a little bit of diarrhea. And I think that's what you're talking about right now.

[A]

Yes. See, because it's like just enough of

[B]

a distraction where you're just a touch of diarrhea. Just only a little bit.

[A]

Yeah, it's like a secret, but it's. It's really building character and. Yes, and your character is funnier or better.

[B]

Or if you ever had to write a college essay, you should write about how you overcame your post nasal drip.

[A]

I'm just saying it's my current adversity.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And so I'm working with it.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

As opposed to swimming against the grain I'm swimming with the grain. So my favorite comment last week was the crane mixing land and see, period.

[B]

It's a surf and turf over here, baby.

[A]

Gotta love it.

[B]

Got him.

[A]

Okay, so.

[B]

Well, this is actually a fairly good segue for our dreams, which I know everybody loves when we talk about our dreams.

[A]

I don't know, I feel like we're projecting about that. Do people actually get mad or we are we just projecting that dreams are boring?

[B]

You projected the dreams are boring.

[A]

Oh, that was me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I didn't even do that. Somebody else placed. I'm thinking.

[B]

I think Shane thinks dreams are boring.

[A]

And I listen to another podcast that they like, roll their eyes when they talk about their dreams, but then proceed to talk about their dreams.

[B]

But I do think it was interest that you and I both on the same night had career based dreams.

[A]

And I vividly like my alarm clock woke me up to vividly remembering my dream.

[B]

And you remember nothing.

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

So the fact that you remembered it and we both had career based dreams in the same night I think is fishy. What's up?

[A]

God, I don't know what is going on.

[B]

God. About our leap and our golden diving

[A]

my psyche trying to in pursuit of becoming a better actor.

[B]

Right. And you're remembering when you were initially acting and you were a server. So Rylan had a scary ass dream

[A]

that he was so scary.

[B]

He was. He was working in customer service.

[A]

I did it for a long, long time.

[B]

And his. And his nightmare was that he. You're being what, served?

[A]

I was being honestly triple sat. I had gotten double sat and the host was seating me again. And I was training at a new restaurant. And for some reason Ryan Seacrest was also working there. But he was like so good at it. And he was wrapping up. He was like, my shifts over and I was like, I'll just be triple stop. Then my alarm clock went boom.

[B]

Maybe that means you're taking over some one of Ryan Se. Chris jobs because now he's doing Wheel of Fortune and can't manage everything else.

[A]

I'll take it.

[B]

And you know what's really big in like pop culture right now? Adversity. So you might become a diversity hire because of your.

[A]

Honestly, a gay man with postnasal.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Progressive. Call us up NBC. It's great for your image.

[A]

And I am learning and acting how to not make my characters a victim of something rather stronger because of their adversity.

[B]

Stop.

[A]

So it is really weird that I'm harping on my. My struggles right now.

[B]

Is it A struggle or a strength. Well, really, I like. Is post nasal drip your super.

[A]

Well, that's what I'm telling you. I was looking at it in a way is because I did have an audition last week and I was post nasally, but I do feel like it made me more present because I was,

[B]

you know, and I was post nasally. I was walking in a dark aisle. Aisle. What is it called? Alley. And there was post nasal.

[A]

Whatever. I'm trying the night. I'm trying to think that it's happening for me. And I didn't even honestly want to address it here, but I didn't people to think I was coming to work sick either with something I was gonna spread to them, and I was like, oh, no, I'm the first person that if I'm sick, I'm canceling my plans.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

So, like, you know.

[B]

No, I totally get it. Can I tell people about my dream?

[A]

I would love to hear about it.

[B]

My dream was that Whitney cummings gave me 10 minutes on one of her shows. Like, she does so kindly to all these other people out in these streets.

[A]

Is she doing that? Yeah, they're like her opening act.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She goes to see. Okay.

[B]

Like, there was some drama between this girl, Grace o' Malley, and Bri something on Plan Brie, which is a podcast on Barstool Sports, which I know you know about. I'm giving context to the audience because I can't stop talking about this.

[A]

Why do I know about it?

[B]

Because I talk to you about it all the time.

[A]

Oh, I glaze over when it's something I don't know. What does Jared call that?

[B]

Tuning out? Zoned out. Yeah, zoned out. There's merch for it. How do you not even know what the. How do you zone out? Zoned out. Merch. Whatever. Done with you. Zoning you out. So I had a dream that I was plucked from obscurity by Whitney Cummings as well.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And she was giving me 10 minutes.

[A]

I don't know why she wouldn't give you 10 minutes, actually.

[B]

Probably because we won't have her on the podcast. So you are denying me my golden era.

[A]

I'm not saying that's my in. I'm.

[B]

That's my in.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay.

[B]

But you're holding me back from galloping into the future with Whitney Cummings.

[A]

I want that for you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

And you know what?

[B]

We're gonna call her in three years and have her on the podcast.

[A]

What I'm. Once my adversities that I'm facing have cleared, I'll be Calling her. It got really dark.

[B]

Do the lights just turn off or did the sun go behind a thing? Because that was terrifying.

[A]

It was really scary.

[B]

And it feels like a bad omen for my dreams.

[A]

Like, dark energy just entered the room.

[B]

Me, you're dark right now. Why am I always doing this?

[A]

What's going on?

[B]

I don't know, but I feel like my energy welcomes darkness. And now I'm scared for the safety of my family because every time I have a low vibration, it gets nasty. And I feel like I vibrated lowly recently.

[A]

Oh, no. And you can't talk about it publicly or that'd be vibrating.

[B]

The sun's back.

[A]

Oh, it was.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, God. Thank God that moment passed.

[B]

Thank you, God, for the blessings in my life and I'm so grateful. And honestly, we can all succeed and I don't have to be upset and jealous about other people's opportunities, period. And I meant that.

[A]

I mean, the more you say it, I think you'll come to believe it.

[B]

Yeah, it's like when I got sober, it's like, no, I love not drinking. I love not drinking.

[A]

And now you love not drinking.

[B]

And now I love not drinking. It just took 10 years. So then I get on my back on the floor in the auditorium of this dream sequence, and I. Whitney Cummings lays down on top of me on her back, and then I scoot with my legs, like, super fast, like the Flintstones in the live action movie from the 90s. And I just scoot us up to the stage like that, as if I was a little skateboard that she's like, landlouging on.

[A]

The physical comedy is nice.

[B]

And so we got up to the stage and all of a sudden the microphone's volume is just super low while Whitney's introducing me and everyone's just screaming at her, I can hear you. They're, like, booing and throwing.

[A]

You had such a great entrance.

[B]

Can you believe? And then I get up, they fix the mics, and I get up on stage and all of a sudden Joe's off to the side of the wings and he's like, do you want help? And I'm like, what? And so I'm getting distracted during my 10 minutes with Jo Be. Can I help you? And I'm like, no, I don't need any help from you right now. In fact, you're ruining it. And then everyone's like, shut up. And I was like, my husband's just being supportive and it was bad. But then I started 10 minutes, and I like when I Stopped doing standup comedy. I was working on a bit that I never fully worked out, but it's about, like, how dating in your 30s is really confusing because you, like, want to have sex with these people, but you also want to be their mother. And that's, you know, confusing. An Oedipus Rex joke, which is obviously like, so funny, and, like, everybody's always like, oh, my God, like, do another Oedipus Rex joke. Like, we love. It's super relatable. So I never finished that bit, but in my dream, I finished the bit and it segued really nicely into the rest of my 10 minutes that I'd already developed. And I was just like, wow, that's awesome. But I have no idea how I finished it in my dream, and I should have written it down anyways. Hey, Whitney. My name is Lizzie. I'm living in obscurity and darkness. As you can see, the sun goes behind the clouds whenever I talk. And I would love 10 minutes on one of your stages. I'd probably faint a little bit, but I'll always get back up again. Please don't call an ambulance. I have Kaiser, and they're not helpful.

[A]

Why don't. Well, yeah, they're on strike, so. Yeah, I thought it was done. Oh, it is.

[B]

Yeah. I think it's done.

[A]

Oh, great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what do you think our dreams represent for both of us?

[B]

I think mine represents our conversation about hard work. Me, like, preparation, meeting, opportunity.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So it's like, in my heart of hearts, I'm like, girl, you've been done the work and now you need the opportunity.

[A]

So I think it's either, like, having the third kid or putting your foot forward on your career. So that's the decision you'll have to make.

[B]

Jesus, why would you boil it down like that?

[A]

Well, it's. I mean, one at a time. You can have both, but you have to focus.

[B]

I think Esther's gonna have to wait. I think so, because I'm also pissing blood, and it's not menstrual or postpartum. And I'm like, do I go to the doctor or do I wait this one out? And honestly, I'm gonna wait it out.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

That's the choice I made.

[A]

Well, when you have so many kids, it's like, there's so many doctor's appointments. How can we go to another for ourselves?

[B]

And honestly, the blood seems to be dissipating, so it's like, whatever. It's just a little painful now. And it's, like, more painful so if the pain is getting less when we're cured.

[A]

You know what else cures me? No. A nice ticket from seeking, the number one rated ticketing app with over 35 million downloads. And that's because there's over 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek. What are you doing if you're not getting your tickets on Seeking?

[B]

Peeing Blood, you losers.

[A]

Freaking loser. No, but what you could do is open your phone and get this fantastic SeatGeek app and scroll your app while you're on the toilet. Something I like to do. Not too long, cuz you get a hemorrhoid. But they do have.

[B]

Which I'm also dealing with.

[A]

That's where.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

This is. We need to focus, okay? Focus up.

[B]

We're not talking about bloody urine.

[A]

You can get tickets for concerts, sporting events, music festivals, Broadway shows, theater, anything you want to take it for. SeatGeek has got you covered. And there are so many incredible artists on tour right now. Alex Warren. Ariana Grande has tour dates coming up.

[B]

Hillary Duff.

[A]

Hillary Duff? How could you forget the Duff?

[B]

She won't let you.

[A]

She literally won't let you. But the tickets are also already gone. Thankfully not on SeatGeek. You can't get a ticket for Hillary duff still on SeatGeek. Make sure you check out the lineup because it's fantastic this summer. And of course, Seatgeeks coming through for all of you. You can get 10% off your next set of tickets. And at Seatgeek, when you use our code, the SIP10, that's 10% off your next set of tickets when you use our code, the SIP10. And SeatGeek does rate every ticket on a scale of 1 to 10. Look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad, and every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. That's code, the SIP 10 for your next set of tickets. At SE for 10% off. All right, back to our show.

[B]

And we're back.

[A]

And we're back. So you had a playdate from hell.

[B]

Oh, no, I had a good time. The host had a play date from hell with us.

[A]

And this is why people call you slept schlubby. Schlubby.

[B]

Yeah, but these people didn't call me schlubby, okay? And also, that's not why schlubby means, like, you're not well put together, which, I mean, not wrong. But I'm happy and that's all that matters. Shubby. But happy merch coming this spring. No, I. So I was gonna be alone with the children for the first time we talked about it on the podcast.

[A]

Podcast.

[B]

And I called you and you didn't respond fast enough. So then I called Kara and Kara said, come on.

[A]

Thank God I didn't respond fast enough

[B]

and she'll regret that for the rest of her life. So we go over after pickup and the playdate, honestly, going, so, so, so, so, so.

[A]

Well, like, so she has a kid and you have two.

[B]

I have a kid and she. I have two kids and she has one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And hers is a daughter. And we love Maxine. We, like, we follow this family everywhere. Like, we met at the. We go to the. Oh, can you bleep that? Yeah, yeah, sorry.

[A]

2905. Will you write that down, Chris?

[B]

Sorry. We met at Mommy and Me and I followed her to swim class and then I followed her to our kids school.

[A]

Well, you're like obsessed with her.

[B]

No, I'm a psycho. I'm her single white female nightmare. I'm not going anywhere. And I've told her that. So I invited myself over to her house with my children and super cute play day. They're paint. They painted. She has like the fun house, you know, like everything that you'd want to play with. Like, there's paints, there's a kitchen set, there's cookies in the kitchen. They've got snacks and food, like anything you could possibly want. And they're so sweet. And her husband was there too, so we weren't outnumbered, which was also like a little bit mentally calming for me.

[A]

And he was ready to play with you guys.

[B]

Oh, he loves my kids.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah. And so we're playing and then we go out back and they're going down the slide and like having a good time. And then I go, okay, Billy, like it's five minutes. We're leaving in five minutes. Because I've started telling him, like, like I'm setting a timer. I get in his face, I say, I'm setting a timer. We're gonna leave when the timer goes off. Bye, bye. All done. And he shoves Maxine into the slide and she.

[A]

When you said we're gonna be all done in five minutes.

[B]

Yeah. Basically like moments later, she starts dripping blood from the mouth, spitting blood from the mouth, scream, crying. It's because lips bleed like hell and she's got teeth now. So the one knock was enough to cause a blood.

[A]

I don't think I've ever experienced that kind of lip bleeding.

[B]

We have. And it's awful. It's awful. When Billy split his lip, he still has a scar there. I thought his tooth went through the lip. And we were like, whatever. It was the most blood I'd ever seen. It was dripping down my chest, dripping down his face. So Maxine's spitting out blood, scream, crying. Cara's got an ant on her mouth. I'm trying to get the ant off her mouth. And I'm trying to decide, is this even important for me to do right now?

[A]

Am I red or black? It was black, so it's fine. You could have watched it there.

[B]

I was like, what does it mean? What does that mean? You mean metaphorically? So that was awful. And then we go inside and Billy just starts opening all the drawers and throwing their everywhere. And he's like, kicking baskets over, throwing everywhere, reaching up on the counters with his little blind et hands, like, let me get the diaper paste down. Diaper paddle down.

[A]

What was this?

[B]

He was just. He didn't want to leave. So he's just being a baby. And so I'm like, trying to pick everything up while he's just destroying everything. And I'm wearing Ernie in the carrier, and I just fed Ernie, and Ernie goes and spits up all over the place, and it splats onto the floor. And I go, all right, well, we're just gonna go now. Kara's trying to clean me up, and I go, please stop trying. I'm just gonna leave. And then her daughter loves the ba. Loves Ernie. Like, she just loves babies. She's the one who comes up to me and is going to. Goes in a little hoarse voice with her little finger, like. And she'd been doing that at the house too. And, like, Cara was holding Ernie, and Maxine wanted to sit near her, like, it was very sweet. And while Maxine's crying, she just. And so I bring Ernie over to her, and she just tenderly wraps a little arm around her him and, like, leans her head on him and is, like, just like, trying to comfort herself by holding little urn. And she's just in a diaper at this point. And we. We all walk out to the car. Cara's holding Billy. Maxine's on the floor holding Kara's hand and just dragging a metal water bottle. So there's just a crazy sound coming from it, like, still kind of weepy. And then we get in the car, and as we're pulling away, Maxine throws open the curtains and throws her body against the window. Baby just banging on the window. Like, it was just the most dramatic up end of a playdate ever. Cara's like, come back anytime. And I'M like, literally, we will so careful who you invite over, because some people will come.

[A]

So God's protecting me all these times that you haven't been able to come to my house?

[B]

I think that ever. And I told you that I said God's protecting you from either the plague or this, right? Yeah.

[A]

So stay away from me.

[B]

I will. I totally will.

[A]

No, but we've been having so much fun lately. I've also been like, yeah, just throw us the third. Whatever. It's a good time.

[B]

I don't think I can do it.

[A]

We're also not yet.

[B]

We're doing sleep coaching light. And I like, looked at my nanny and I was like, this is why I can't have more children. Can't do it.

[A]

Oh, we went to the movies.

[B]

You saw Scream 7.

[A]

People are disgusting.

[B]

What?

[A]

First of all, I, like, did a hit and run at the movie theater.

[B]

You hit a car?

[A]

I didn't want to hit a car.

[B]

You don't share this publicly. What are you talking about?

[A]

I mean, jury's still out on if I hit the car or not. Like, don't you think?

[B]

Were you drinking? What the fuck do you mean jury's still out?

[A]

Well, I was doing. Because we've been having a great couple of weeks with the kids. Like, so much fun. Like, all I want to do is be with the kids. I'm like, keep telling Shane, like, I guess I'll just, like quit my jobs and be a stay at home dad. Then, like, like threatening to him that that's what's gonna happen. And I was like, and we do need a third, Shane. We're gonna have to have a third. And I'm just like. Because then I'm like, having like a sad mom. These two years have already gone by so fast. We're gonna blink and they're gonna be out of our house, and then we're gonna not have a third. And I'm gonna, like, lose my mind about it. And I'm having this sweet moment and then I look up and Shane's going, you're going the wrong way in a one lane way at. In a parking lot. And I was like, oh, I was just dreaming about my third child. Sorry. And so I like, start backing up because the car's coming. Yeah. And Shane's like, stop.

[B]

Did you hit a car?

[A]

Did you hit a car? Listen, let me try to map this out.

[B]

You're an asshole in a cybertruck.

[A]

So I'm going like this and I stop right at the corner. So when I back up, I Go to back up. But there's, like, a car parked, slanted. And so I'm.

[B]

Write this time code down. I have a feeling we're gonna have to cut it.

[A]

No, because I didn't. I was a good person.

[B]

You said you hit and run.

[A]

I left a note. I mean, it still felt like a hit and a run to me.

[B]

You hit the car?

[A]

I don't know, because I told Shane no.

[B]

What is this, your garage door?

[A]

So then Shane's all upset, and I was like. I'm just, like. I was, like, in my head, dreaming about our third child. I'm sorry. Sue me. I feel like you don't need to get that mad at me because I was just dreaming about a third child, period. Sorry if I wasn't thinking clearly. Maybe you drive next time.

[B]

Maybe this is a side you shouldn't have. You're not thinking clearly. Look, I said you shouldn't have a third, and the sun came back.

[A]

I'm facing an adversity right now, so maybe be nasty to me after my adversity.

[B]

Put those finger guns away. This is Just Holster it. You don't point those at anything you don't want to destroy.

[A]

And so I'm screaming at him, well, get out and see if I hit the car. Because I didn't move from the point that I hit the car. And he's like, well, it's at a weird angle. I can't tell. And then he's like, all the cars record us now. I don't want to be the person that's caught on camera.

[B]

Like, you sent him out. Yeah.

[A]

And then he's like. And then I become a viral moment for you, hitting a car, but I'm the face of the person.

[B]

Sounds like Shane's facing some adversity.

[A]

I mean, being with me.

[B]

Yeah, that's a real challenge. That's something you have to over.

[A]

And I go, well, did I hit the car? Did I not hit the car? And he's like, well, I was looking, but I couldn't tell if you hit the car because the angle was funky. And I was like, well, then you should have walked around the car until you could see the angle in which. If I hit the car or not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then I park, and I get my ass out, and I'm, like, trying to see if I hit the car. I'm, like, measuring where the, like, back of our car lands on my knee to go see if there's a market. That spot on the car that I hit, I don't see a spot that's

[B]

so forensic of you.

[A]

Shane doesn't want to be the face of a hit and a run on which honestly, fair. So I'm like, okay, yeah, let's leave it. Like, I'm not. I was never gonna, like, just try to hit and run. I was gonna, like, try to see if the Tesla had a camera.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Footage back up that I could look. It didn't. So then we're, like, asking everyone for a pin. Shane's writing a note like, I'll pay for it all. Here's my husband's number.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That person's never reached out to me.

[B]

I got hit this week. This last week. I got rear ended.

[A]

Tell me more. You know, I mean, tell.

[B]

You taught the class. Okay, wait, we're on a show.

[A]

So, I mean, I don't really know

[B]

more, but you never got called.

[A]

No one's ever called me. I don't think I hit the car.

[B]

It's in the past. Move forward. Leap into your golden era.

[A]

I'm as I am.

[B]

I was on my way to Kaiser to get Billy's amoxicillin for his double ear infection because it's important to get it in him quickly to start recovering. And even though the strike is over, the line for the pharmacy was still an hour long. And I didn't want Joe and with Billy with an ear infection in a line for an hour in a hospital, because that's where you get uncurable diseases. So I said, come home. I'll give Ernie to your mom. I'll go back to the pharmacy, and I'll get back in time before bedtime so that we can give him his first dose. So I'm rushing to the. To the hospital. It's nighttime, and I stop at a red light, and I'm there for, like, a second, and someone just fucking hits the shit out of my back. Out of the back of the car.

[A]

Car.

[B]

And I went, are you kidding me?

[A]

Like, were you at a stoplight?

[B]

I was at a stoplight, and I had been stopped for a while, and she just went, boom. And I was like, what in the.

[A]

Have you gotten it checked out?

[B]

There's no damage, but how do you know? Because I got out of the car right then. I was like, pull over the. So we, like, pull over. This, like, really old woman gets out of the car, speaks no English, and it's like, it reeks of marijuana. And I'm like, this person's high and old and having a hard time and is probably scared. Starts screaming at me in a different language. Goes to the back of my car with witch fingers with a really long nail and goes on it. I was like, whoa, whoa. Please don't do that. Please don't do that. I was like, I'm on my way to the hospital right now to get my kid medicine.

[A]

After she hit you.

[B]

She's fully screaming at me like. And I'm like, I don't know what you're saying. I don't see any damage, but this is not my car. I need a picture of your ID and your insurance. And I like, I'm. That's it. I don't have time to talk to you right now. Witch fingers. And she's screaming at me and she pulls out her phone and she's making calls and I'm like. She goes. I'm like, goes. I'm like, stop it, Stop it. And I'm like, I obviously can't communicate with this person. So I just went, my son is in the hospital. I don't have time for this. Give me a picture of your ID and your phone number. I realize you don't have insurance now. And I'm like. And I'm like. And I'm probably not going to do anything, but on the off chance that I pull away from here and my back bumper falls off, I'm calling you because this is your bad, bitch. Don't yell at me. I'm very codependent. I will let you get away with a lot, but don't yell at me.

[A]

Why do you think you are codependent?

[B]

Oh, I blame my parents. Parents.

[A]

Oh yeah. Who are listening now. Shout out.

[B]

Thanks, guys.

[A]

And so you never had to call?

[B]

No.

[A]

And.

[B]

And I never. And I probably never would have, but I had to do the due diligence because it's not my car.

[A]

And you just never know.

[B]

Yeah, you never know. And then. But the scratch along the back, I was like, whoa, bitch.

[A]

Is it visible?

[B]

It was more audible. It was like. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? If there wasn't damage before, now you've scratched my thing. Get out of here, dude. I was close, but she was old

[A]

and like, I couldn't as a man, but you could.

[B]

I felt bad cuz she was clearly having a fear response. And it's like, that's fine, dude, but stop yelling at me like, I'm not gonna fuck you. You just hit me out of nowhere on a bad day.

[A]

Mmm.

[B]

Chill out, bitch. Wow, I wish I could have said that to her. Chill, bitch. She's like, I am chill. You can smell the weed. I'm like, you're right. But it was like, that was too much. It was, like, enough to be, like, dramatic, but, like, not enough to be, like, actually damaging. But I just was like, what in the is this? What is this? What is this?

[A]

That's enraging.

[B]

It was enraging. Not as enraging as taking prenatal pills that taste like fish guts. Which brings us to our next sponsor. Who did a good segue. Who did a good segue?

[A]

You know, I gave you one job. Well, I gave you two drops. Lizzy has two ad reads today, and I will say you're getting great at them.

[B]

Thank you so much. Because it's easy to talk about one of my favorite products that I'm still using to this day as a postpartum mommy, and that is ritual prenatal pills. Ritual prenatal pills are fantastic. When I was pregnant, I suffered from severe nausea and I was vomiting excessively, and I could not take handfuls of pills. Ritual was just two pills. A multivitamin with a minty aftertaste taste that I never vomited up after because when I would burp, it would be minty and delicious instead of omega 3 fishy and disgusting. So hats off to you, ritual. I also found out about ritual because all of the moms that I ask what to do because they're the moms I respect the most, who make the best decisions, who do the most research, and I don't have the energy to research beyond texting. These moms, all of them told me they were on ritual. So it's a tried and true pill that moms enjoy taking and traditional trust. And that's why it is the number one best selling prenatal pill on the market right now. Ritual selects bioavailable key nutrients designed for optimal absorption. Their patented capsule was also designed to dissolve in the small intestines, an optimal place to absorb nutrients. It was designed with morning sickness in mind, which is probably why I really enjoyed taking it. And mom's taking Ritual reported that their prenatal is easier to swallow, gentler on the stomach, and better over overall. Positive experiences were had by these moms than those taking other leading prenatals, which

[A]

you can attest to, period. You love it so much, you're still taking it.

[B]

I'm still taking it. People don't realize this, but you're supposed to take prenatals even when you're postpartum, specifically if you're breastfeeding. So I just been on it, right? Yeah. So don't Settle for less than evidence based Support and save 25% on your first month at Ritual.comSip that's Ritual.comSip Sip for 25% off your first month. Take advantage of it, mommies. You deserve to be burping up goodness instead of fishy badness. And that's on leaping into your golden era.

[A]

It's March 1, ladies.

[B]

It is also hot out.

[A]

It's very hot out.

[B]

And sometimes it's important to just like, sit back on the porch with an

[A]

iced tea, take it all in. I might have to be doing it inside with these allergies, but period. That's the other thing. Like, I'm exposed to it all day because I'm outside all day with my children.

[B]

Save it for the college essay.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Part of my dream, by the way, also was a segue into a joke that I used to tell on stage. And I was where it's like, you know when you're dating, like, sexting is the college essay of dating.

[A]

Good.

[B]

Because you want to say things that, like, get you in but like, you might not necessarily really do or be in real life, right?

[A]

Like how you falsified blowjobs for your husband, period. Until you locked him down, Period. And that is exactly what you're displaying there.

[B]

And in a text message, all you have to say is something like, I'm gonna suck your dick so good.

[A]

And then it's empty.

[B]

The guy. Well. But the guy does whatever he needs to do in whatever room he's in to make that happen, right? Whereas if I'm in a room with a guy and I say, I'm gonna suck your dick so good, I have to make that happen.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But that's not necessarily something I'm good for. That's not the strength I play to. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Do you want me to finish the joke?

[B]

This is literally a joke I used to tell.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can I just keep going? I mean, can I live my dream, Go for it. Or do you want to get into some ice tea topics that nobody cares about?

[A]

I would love for you to continue.

[B]

But in reality, if I suck your dick and we do this thing to completion and you come in my mouth, I'm gonna run around your apartment at a 90 degree angle so that your cum doesn't touch my tongue because I find that disgusting, and then I'm gonna spit it out dramatically because I'm not a sweet swallower.

[A]

You never get lost in the moment and just like, kind of get into it?

[B]

No. I'm constantly vomiting on Your dick and swallowing it so that you think I'm a cool girl and you can only swallow it for so long before it really comes back up in a way that everyone notices.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And okay. No, I. You vividly painted a picture and have connected with me deeply. It's something that I will not forget now.

[B]

Thank you so much for that.

[A]

I think maybe you should get back to up into stand up comedy.

[B]

Maybe we'll film something for the Patreon that would.

[A]

I. Back when I was doing like video concepts, one of my like lofty goals was always to do like, I tried being a standup comedian.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where I like work on material for a week or two and then take it to an open mic and perform it.

[B]

My friend Paige said that there's daytime open mics, so if you want to do this, I'll ask Paige for a daytime open mic and we can go while we have help.

[A]

Are people ready to laugh during the day?

[B]

Are people gonna laugh at us? Probably not. Well, if they're, who cares?

[A]

But if you're funny, people will laugh.

[B]

I don't know that that's true.

[A]

Running around, you painting the picture. Running around at a 90 degree angle with gum falling out of your mouth has me laughing.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

So I think if you told that at 9am, 10am or 9pm, I would laugh.

[B]

But the thing about an open mic is everybody in the audience is another stand up comedian and they're all waiting for their four minutes on the mic and so they're all writing their notes and they're like all in their heads and like, is this joke gonna be funny or am I gonna come off like a racist? So like they can't listen to your jokes so no one's laughing. It's a very safe space to fail.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But we can add a laugh track because it's a video and no one has to know that nobody was laughing.

[A]

Okay. But the audience will still be able to feel like, is this funny or not?

[B]

Yeah. But we're not there. Well, it's just like my text. Right. They can, they can laugh or not laugh in whatever room there is. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah. We don't have to experience.

[B]

That's not our reality.

[A]

No, no, no. So what did you find worked the best when you were on stages?

[B]

I had some jokes that always hit and they were typically when I was being completely honest and in character of me in like sort of a self deprecating way.

[A]

So you could really feel. I think so. It was authentic.

[B]

Yeah, it was. Because I don't really do. Like, that. What I just said is, like, the closest thing to a joke that I had besides, like. Like, making fun of the fact that, like, I have some. A really long list of sexual mistakes.

[A]

You want to go into it?

[B]

No, but it's. But that's just like. That's just like a quick.

[A]

You're a storyteller with.

[B]

I mean, and it's like, it's not because I'm slutty. It's because I'm a philanthropist. Like, if I'm not sleeping with this loser who will.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Like, I'm doing it because nobody else will. And you can thank me for that later. Do you get it?

[A]

Breeding confidence in men across America?

[B]

I wouldn't say that, but I'm keeping incels off the market. And incels, if you know anything about them, are tricky and dangerous.

[A]

I don't. Oh, well, everybody else does.

[B]

They're responsible for a lot of bad things.

[A]

Okay, so Hot Topics.

[B]

Hot Topics.

[A]

You know, I was thinking about Olivia Rodrigo this week.

[B]

You wrote that on the Hot Topics, and I don't understand why. Is it because she seems slightly obscure now?

[A]

Well, no, I was driving.

[B]

She gave everyone else the. Was it just.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Sorry, I'm just wondering, baby.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

I'm being nice. But did she give you guys the egg or was it just me? Did she give you the ick?

[A]

She's like 22 years old. 23.

[B]

Yeah. And she's successful and she's rich and she's gorgeous.

[A]

Torn apart.

[B]

I'm not tearing her apart, but did she give you the egg?

[A]

We've given everyone the ick.

[B]

Yeah, and that's why I feel safe asking if anybody.

[A]

You put Benny's feet on this document. No, I sent you that real. I haven't.

[B]

I didn't need to see the reel, because I'm aware. But Benny Blanco disgusted the Internet and gave the Internet the ick. I don't think fart into a microphone on his podcast and show his dirty dogs.

[A]

Did he really bring the microphone to his ass?

[B]

He really brought them. He's like, can you guys hear this?

[A]

And then did you allegedly see Selena Gomez's response?

[B]

Selena Gomez posted that she loves her husband more and more every day. So she's a freak.

[A]

I didn't see this from her account. I saw somebody regurgitating alleged information of her just being like, well, yeah, I'm dating a man, and if your doesn't act like this, then you're dating a woman. Maybe he's just being Authentic to himself and thought that was what would you

[B]

also literally do this? You will get.

[A]

I do not have dirty feet.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You never met.

[B]

You will literally get on your hands and knees and work a fart out in front of your husband.

[A]

That's my husband. In the privacy of my own home, period.

[B]

But you talk about it publicly. And we all know.

[A]

Yeah, but we all know.

[B]

We. And we can all see your physical

[A]

positioning telling a story versus making somebody like. It's very different.

[B]

I feel like you've done it in front of me.

[A]

Well, you're like my girlfriend. I'm gonna suck your tit on the after sip later.

[B]

Can we tell everybody that I'm like your sister?

[A]

I love that that's what you took from that Brooke from Hear me out. Called you, like, like crazy.

[B]

Yeah, but it's true.

[A]

Like, mentally unwell and a crazy person. And all Lizzie took from it was Brooke mistaking Lizzie as our sister.

[B]

Isn't that sweet?

[A]

Yes, you. No, you are like a sister.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You really are.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Really true.

[B]

Because that felt that snap. I felt so sweetly validated by that mix up when. Because when I first started watching, it was sound. Because at first I was just watching the clip with no sound, like I always do. And then when I was available for. I never heard. Say you're. I'm in a group chat with your brother and sister. And I was like, huh? Who's their sister? It's me. I loved that.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

I feel butterflies in my stomach.

[A]

What were we talking about?

[B]

No clue.

[A]

Oh, I got into Benny Blanca. I didn't see his podcast. I just saw the clips of his feet going around Instagram with no sound. Similar to how you consume things.

[B]

But you don't need sound when you can read the caption of Benny Blanco's giving the Internet the ick. But Olivia Rodrigo was on your mind.

[A]

Okay. So I'm driving in my car. Spotify decides to play driver's license. Which was like her banger from 2020 when we all had Covid.

[B]

How could we forget?

[A]

How could we forget? And then I remember seeing the headlines that she had allegedly an album that was fully delivered and ready to be, like, released into the world.

[B]

Fully cooked and ready to be served.

[A]

Yes. And allegedly it was all about being in love with her boyfriend who just broke up with her. Did he break up with her?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

You weren't following the story closely enough. So they've now. They've since broken up, allegedly after the album of their love story had been completed. And Delivered to the record label.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

And so it's been alleged that now she's scrambling, trying to figure out what she's gonna do with the album, if she's gonna scrap the album. But then you have to live all of that publicly when it's no longer. I mean, I'm sure she cares, but I agree to an extent.

[B]

It's like it's your art.

[A]

It's your art.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was thinking Olivia Rodrigo. If I were you, this is what I would do. I wouldn't want to scrap the whole album, but I would do an A B to every song. I would do an A like your love story and then a story about the breakup, the heartbreak. I would like for every element of love. I would do how this feels post breakup. So it's like there's an AB to every single track. And then it's even more interesting because it's not. Not like, I'm not saying like Lily Allen's album isn't interesting being just a. I'm telling story. But now you get both sides of a story, an AB to every single track on the album. And it's like as a person that doesn't consume many like 23 year old pop girls albums, I'm going to consume this album.

[B]

I will say Olivia Rodriguez. I consume the. Out of her albums. I like her albums and I do feel like they tell comprehensive stories because when I listen to them, my brain gets inspired to like, like flesh out scenes.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So I think she. Those are good works of storytelling. What gave me the ick was her in person.

[A]

Well, it was the tour clips, which was doing for a lot of people about Katy Perry too. And then we went to the Katy Perry concert. It was. People were criticizing the clips going around from Katy Perry's tour. I wasn't, I wasn't saying I had the ick.

[B]

No, I now laughing because there's a clip of Olivia Rodrigo falling into one of the openings on the stage and now I can't stop giggling. But it's like I love a fall.

[A]

But then we went to the Katy Perry tour and I felt like the furthest thing from an ick. To me, it was awesome. The energy in that arena was incredible and it felt wonderful. So, like, yeah, some of the clips from Olivia's concert were like eye rollies.

[B]

It wasn't just the clips for me though. It was the entire. No, no, I get it. You're my parent. No, it was just the clips. It wasn't the entire thing.

[A]

Whatever. She loves your music. She's Obsessed with you.

[B]

I am obsessed with you. I literally fleshed out and broke an outline for a movie based off of one of your albums.

[A]

I'm sorry. It was a very long winded way of saying just put a B to every track on.

[B]

Just write a whole second album and make it part of the time.

[A]

I think she was going to anyway. So instead of scrapping the first album, let's just like make it even more dense.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And do an ab.

[B]

Well, you won't listen to all the songs if it's too dense though.

[A]

I won't, but other people will. I mean, I'll get to it eventually. I haven't gotten to the second part of Folklore. Haven't gotten to Swag two to tortured post department. Yeah. I think Swag's probably my most listened to album of the year and I still haven't made it to Swag two. So it's like not an artist. It's just like, it's about. It's you overstimulation.

[B]

You're working through post drip and you don't have enough energy to get through an entire time. No.

[A]

And it's like, how could I listen to 1800 versions of opalite and go to different streaming platforms when we're just trying to break records, not actually trying to do anything else? Okay, moving on. Whoa. I'm really. It's. It's bothering me. It's bothering me.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's bothering me.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I just like, it's always about a breaking a record and it's like, like, at what point are we rich enough or record dense enough?

[B]

The backstory for what Ryland's upset about is Taylor Swift dropping Opalite again, trying to break another record on. I don't even understand what those records. How does she even know about all these records available?

[A]

That consumes her. And it's like, I. I love this woman's art. This album I'm still listening to. Like, yeah, it's.

[B]

I'm literally wearing the merch.

[A]

I like the album now more than I ever have. But, like, sometimes I'm just like, what will be enough for you, girlfriend? Like, when can we just relax a little bit? You've won. You've already won.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's like doing these mind trickery games on your number one fans, on your die hard fans just feels weird to me. Like, why do you have to only post the video where it counts for towards breaking a record?

[B]

I still haven't been able to access the video because of that.

[A]

And I'm Dying to see.

[B]

Oh, now you tell me. Now you tell me.

[A]

You literally haven't seen the opalite music. No, I'm boycotting it. I hate to say it, but I won't watch it, even though it's on YouTube now. Because I'm just like, girl, you have enough.

[B]

Join us on Patreon, where Rylan and I live. React to the opalite.

[A]

Okay, well. Period. Okay. That wasn't even on our Hot Topics, But I just had to get it off. I had to get it off my chest.

[B]

Yeah, he just. He's been hiding in the closet for too long, and he's not a closeted guy.

[A]

No. And it's like, yeah, if there's anything about me, I need to be authentic, period.

[B]

Okay, Be true to yourself.

[A]

Tom and Zendaya are allegedly already married, according to Zendaya stylist law. Roach. I've seen nothing further than what I've just stated to you.

[B]

Same with the whole world.

[A]

Oh, so he just is like.

[B]

He was on a carpet and something got brought up, and he's like, oh, they've been married, girl. And the girl was like, huh? And he goes, yeah, you missed it. And, like, walks away. I added the snap.

[A]

Do you think Zendaya's mad at him? Like, you were mad at me for revealing the gender of your child prematurely? Like, that is a really big mess. Mess up for somebody that's so close.

[B]

It doesn't seem like a mess up to me, though. It seems like he was allowed to say it.

[A]

You think she gave him the go ahead?

[B]

I don't know if she gave him the go ahead or if it's like. If he's just sort of like to

[A]

come out as gay. We just are.

[B]

Yeah. Period.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

Maybe you think they're gay. No, that was just an announcement.

[B]

If ever there was a lesbian couple, it's Tom Holland and Zendaya. Let's be real.

[A]

Lizzie's the queen of making a man a lesbian.

[B]

There are so what's not less about a man? What's not lesbian about a heterosexual man?

[A]

Okay, I have seen this, and I feel bad commenting on it.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because the Internet's alleging Jim Carrey has been replaced by a lizard? No, he just did the same thing. Here's the thing with all of these men doing.

[B]

His eyes are a different color.

[A]

No, these men are all. I think they're all going to the same surgeon, but I don't know who's looking at the last patient being like, that's exactly what I need to do.

[B]

I know it's crazy.

[A]

I just don't know why they're all being like, he did that person's. I need to look like that person. It's like, let's just chill out. We're all men.

[B]

Let's also, like, let's get. Let's come to the conclusion. Unless you're going to Kris Jenner's guy, don't get a facelift.

[A]

That's literally what I told you.

[B]

Unless you're going to Kristen's guy, not get a facelift.

[A]

You want to know what Shane told me, what he said? But Kris Jenner has always been altering her face in some sort of way that it's not as jarring. These men are going from zero to 5,000.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So it's jarring.

[B]

It's like Al Pacino's been doing it for so long and wearing a little toupee, so we don't even know where his hairline's at anymore.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

So.

[A]

So it's like. It's about the gradual.

[B]

You got to do maintenance, especially if

[A]

your body is your art. Listen up.

[B]

But I will say Chris's work also just looks good.

[A]

Well, Chris's is incredible.

[B]

I love Sharon Osborne, but she's been doing gradual work her entire life. And it is not as.

[A]

Did you see the picture going? I feel bad critiquing.

[B]

I don't even want to talk about it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We don't have to cut it, but I don't want to talk about. About it.

[A]

I. I don't. I don't either. We were just talking. It just felt like the elephant in the room because that was like, the most commented on thing this weekend.

[B]

Yeah. And I just feel like we don't need.

[A]

Yeah, we don't need to talk about it. Okay.

[B]

Big love to that entire family, though, because they are honestly one of the most loving families I have ever shared space with. And I send them so much love.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're grieving. Oh, gosh. It's all about looks today.

[B]

No, but looks in a lizard person are a little different.

[A]

Well, they're confirming he's a lizard person based upon his looks.

[B]

Right. But it's like you don't go from brown eyes to green eyes and have a complete shift in personality without pooping on a piece of paper and allowing a reptilian to take over. Yes. His eyes were, like, deep brown, like chocolatey brown, and now they're green. Tell me that's not a lizard. Tell me. How many times do I have to warn you guys? Don't be pooping on paper for strangers because that's a Reptilian and they are taking your DNA so that they can replicate it and take over your life.

[A]

And you're saying Harry Styles has confirmed his hair plugs?

[B]

Yes. A little different than Reptilians.

[A]

Okay, can you tell me how?

[B]

I guess so. He's on a light a press tour lite for his new album that came out that has a really long title and a weird album cover and I couldn't tell you about either.

[A]

I watched the music video.

[B]

Was it good?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What was it?

[A]

It was long.

[B]

Reenact it. Really?

[A]

The girls who get it get it.

[B]

I heard that he was. No. Is that really it?

[A]

Oh my God. It's really good. It's really good what you just did.

[B]

That was liberated work. That was you leaping into your golden era uninhibited for real. Adversity be damned.

[A]

Yes. Thank you. Turning it into our superpowers period.

[B]

So he did like a bunch of interviews on his couch and I guess he had to do more interviews. So he did. Brittany Broski has some show where they dress up like medieval characters. Are they at Medieval times? I don't know when is too. Like, when can I take my kids to medieval times?

[A]

I mean, it's pretty loud in cold.

[B]

It's freezing.

[A]

It's so cold.

[B]

Why is it so cold?

[A]

I could never go back just because of the.

[B]

They should tell their audience members that it's freezing.

[A]

Yeah, like you need a foot long park or like a full.

[B]

They were like, what do you want to drink? And I was like, hot water and a jacket.

[A]

Okay, tell me how we discovered this.

[B]

So Brittany Broski and Harry Styles are at medieval times. And I'm making all this up. I don't know if any of it's true, but they look like they're at medieval times. And he for some reason had elf ears on. And she's like talking about something being fake, like maybe his teeth. And he goes, no, those are real. But my hairline's not. Well, but there's always been allegations that

[A]

he has representation for a long time. But it doesn't look like it was completely fixed. I say that as a person with a bad hairline. I always felt like he's rep.

[B]

I say this as a person with a friend with a bad hairline. Your shit still whack, Harry.

[A]

Not whack. It's just not like normally you'll see like the hairline fixes, they're like, like Justin Bieber's like Bradley Cooper.

[B]

Oh, like Bradley Cooper. Keep calling them out, keep naming them.

[A]

I mean, everyone. It's not like, represent your community and name them all. Like, I'll probably get one eventually too. It's not something we're hiding.

[B]

Are we going to go to Turkey for it or are you going to do it for $30,000?

[A]

I'll probably have to splurge. I'll probably have to save my coins. I don't. It's like, I don't know. Would you take your vet, your dog to a different country? What if he's not doing well post. Post op.

[B]

Right.

[A]

We're going to fly back to Turkey.

[B]

I was going to take my husband to Turkey.

[A]

You were?

[B]

Yeah, for hair plugs.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

When I learned how cheap it was.

[A]

Well, then we're gonna stay there for our recovery.

[B]

Okay. But I have to bring my kids. This is a nightmare for Joe.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[B]

We're gonna bring two under two to Turkey on a flight. You're gonna get all fucked up. Your face is gonna be swollen, your head, it's gonna hurt.

[A]

Recovery one year, you're gonna have to

[B]

father the entire time and then jump on an international flight with two babies.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Lizzy was like, wow, we're blessed. We are sponsored by the cool girl product.

[B]

I literally get so excited about this brand because it the loss of your hair postpartum is a truly traumatizing event. Like your hair is luscious and vibrant for the the first four months and then boom, in the middle of the night you get hit like by a freight train.

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[B]

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[A]

So it is for men too, which

[B]

I didn't realize because I've only seen cool girls talking about it. But absolutely, my, my husband is going to be taking this.

[A]

Absolutely I'm going to be taking this too. Lizzie was very familiar with this brand, which is why we signed on to work with them. But I wasn't familiar that it was something a man could take too. So I'll go purchase some as well.

[B]

Yeah, like, like I'm saying, literally all of these women that I look up to who have really great hair use it as well, which is why it's a product that's been on my radar and I'm honestly very excited to be taking it myself. Nutriful hair growth supplements are peer reviewed and NSF certified for sport and clinically tested to measure improvements in hair growth quality and strength. But they're easy to order online and you do not need a prescription. Plus, with the Nutrafol subscription, you can save up to 20% and get added perks to support your hair health journey. Let your hair be one less thing to worry about. See visibly thicker, stronger, faster. Growing hair in three to six months with Nutrafol.

[A]

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[A]

Okay, girls, welcome back to the sip. We just had lunch for the after sip, but I was presenting what we're doing today and Spencer is like hot out the gates. So for the first time ever, we're going to nothing but cakes. And Spencer said, I'm actually very excited to go to Nothing Bundt cakes because I've wanted to go there for a long time because I think it's. I said stupid. It's an insane concept for a store. Imagine trying to pitch a store that's we only sell bundt cakes, a cake no one's ever even heard of. But I've heard they're supposed to be really good and moist. They're incredibly moist and the frosting's amazing. So. But I still think the store concept is insane and it's a bad name. It's just a store that sells bundt cakes. Sounds like a shark tank, bitch. Well, I'm really excited about they had for a limited time. I hope they still have a banana cream one where they're putting like the wafers in between the different angles. I'm praying to God they have it. And then their one right now is Dubai, which I don't care about, but we'll try it for you.

[B]

Over.

[A]

It's so over. It's over. It's the. That's what it is. Left in 2025, I'm going to stop whipping my hand around and making you guys motion sick and we'll see you at Nothing Bunt cakes. Kiss them. Can you smell the tuna?

[B]

I'm going to wash it down with some nutritional yeast.

[A]

Go for it. You guys. I forgot. Kim Kardashian started another business. It's her like 430th and it's at Walmart and it's a no caffeine energy drink. So we thought we would just try that too really fast. If they have it, we're outside of Walmart. The world's best place in the world.

[B]

Walmart is like the worst fucking place.

[A]

Well, I know. I'm just not trying to be mean because they do have everyday values, but it's just like nobody wants to be at a Walmart.

[B]

No, Walmart is terrifying. And horrible.

[A]

But it's especially the Walmart here we live.

[B]

No. Have you ever been to the one in Burbank? Because that one's a fucking.

[A]

I mean, like, another state. That one's crazy. Yeah, the one in Burbank I wouldn't mind having to go to.

[B]

Girl, I went to the one in Burbank. You know, not what you said.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. See you guys later. Look at Chris. He's got. He's done the good. Wow, those are the worst color I've ever seen. So it doesn't not have caffeine. It's like your body breaks down caffeine into a thing called this. And that's what it has. And I'm like, so it's still kind of. And it says, like, if you're sensitive to caffeine to have it, don't drink it until. Yeah. We'll do this taste test with Shane, but it's called Update. It really is.

[B]

That's her whole thing, though. She's like, my aesthetic is none.

[A]

I guess. Yeah. But having giant tits and a big ass at least skims is like cute nun, you know, Period. Yeah. For clothes. It makes more sense. I am lit on the fact that they do have the banana one, at least. Oh. According to their window outside, Rylan's the most excited he's ever been. I mean, we'll go in, everyone can get which one they want, and then we can take it back to the office.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

I will tell you and be honest about a brand that I like, which is nothing. Bundt cakes. Their logo could use some reworking, if I'm being honest. These palm trees in this place. Storefront cute. This is what I am interested in. Oh, it's kind of cute in here.

[B]

They're so cute.

[A]

They really are. Rolling. I'm Pearl rolling. Are you and Chris and.

[B]

Yeah, I framed us up.

[A]

Okay. It's just looking. Whatever. Doesn't matter, because Chris is so far. Take one A mark to take one B mark. Okay. It's fine. Okay, we're gonna try and then pull

[B]

up to the table so I don't

[A]

want you next to you. Oh, I got one for Shane, too. And he comes in. Oh, there he is.

[B]

Shane.

[A]

All right. Like the TikTok girls. They do this. I do one of these. It's a bad color. It's very bad.

[B]

We're trying Update.

[A]

Oh, it's clear. It's. Oh, it smells like a Truly. So when Kim Kardashian made this in her garage, what was her. She doesn't smell like that.

[B]

It's delicious.

[A]

Is it? Tried it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Does this have zero sugar? Yes, it is the delicious.

[B]

Is it?

[A]

It fucks it's delicious.

[B]

There's zero calories.

[A]

What's the flavor? Delicious.

[B]

Mandarin.

[A]

It is delicious. It was the only flavor that had. It's like vanilla orange almost. Yeah. Zero added sugars and there's zero caffeine. Oh, Chris was saying it like it just. Okay, it says zero caffeine but then on the side it says if you're pregnant or a nursing woman or sensitive to caffeine, do not drink this like in big. But Sal was googling and it's like it's. I mean it's good. It's Splenda. Well, we're not talking about the sugar. We're talking about later on the caffeine. I know, but you're like such a hater of slender. Wait, I wouldn't drink a whole thing, Shane.

[B]

How do you know it's Splenda?

[A]

It does taste good. Really? Yeah. I hate that. It's shame I wouldn't. I guess I'm basing. I'm basing my taste for a sip. Not a like cuz as a sip. I'm like, oh, it's a nice sip.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I couldn't consume the whole thing. I would die. I just want to know as a gird girly, I'm not supposed to have caffeine and this says it technically doesn't have. Why are you laughing at me? She's from New Jersey. He's never heard somebody say bird girl. We're a big community.

[B]

Is there long term girdle? Isn't that something else? It's for life.

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

Damn. Talk about adversity.

[A]

Okay, please, anybody have a flavor they're most excited about? Before I lose my voice, I think I'm doing the entire thing and see if I bounce off the walls, see if it's real Oreo. I've never had the Oreo. Honestly, the most recent times that I've had this are for Lizzie's baby showers both times. And I don't think I've had it outside of that. Really?

[B]

I've had it at some funerals as well.

[A]

So it's like. So this really is like an event thing, huh?

[B]

I would say so. Birthday parties.

[A]

Does anyone have their dying?

[B]

Yeah, they're over event.

[A]

Okay. The colors are cute.

[B]

They are cute. They just look like little frosting spiders.

[A]

Have some for. Is this like a channel place or is this just that place?

[B]

Since he have a fork. I don't Know where this is coming from?

[A]

Were you bullying? Because I asked her to pass forks around.

[B]

I say, who gets the fork? And I say when.

[A]

You know, maybe it's good for our show to have Spencer constantly on so you can bully somebody that's not Chris Ryet.

[B]

I don't want you to freak out, but you might have fat in your hand.

[A]

That's real hard the whole time.

[B]

I don't know how long it's been there.

[A]

Here, go. S. Okay. The more I drink it, the less I like it. I don't know if I like it. Are we all doing the same one every each time? So many. I think we'll start that way with the biggest flavors. Well, what is. What do you think the biggest flavor is? What's the biggest flavor?

[B]

I'm still here. He said I could leave for this part.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you're not eating this. Update. Update is working. 2 take 2, Inmark. 2, take 2. B mark. All right, we have to start at the banana pudding cake. I thought there was wafers in between. In between each layer, but, boy, was I wrong. There's only one on top. Come on. There was just. We just got one wafer. One little tiny wafer on top. It's somewhere over there. I've never seen so many different colors. Like, this is a crazy plate. It really is. Which one is it? It's not. That's like a little banana cream squeeze. All right, this one, you think? Okay. Definitely. Very artificial banana. Yeah, I like it. I'm not mad about it. Their cake is moist. This is the first time you've ever had it? Yeah. It is very moist. I will say that I actually like it. I do, too. It's a little underwhelming. Overwhelming, honestly. But it's not bad. I guess I could use even more of the banana cream. I'm not a banana. A banana bitch. So really real bananas or fake bananas? It's not a flavor I really enjoy. Sal, are you a banana bitch? No. Wow. I never even had. Whatever this is. Straight guys just don't love bananas. 4K. Something about them that you guys love. Big bananas, you gotta love. It scares me. I don't know. Okay, does anybody have guidance into where they want to go next? No, you pick. Okay. Red velvet. I love the color of the red velvet. It looks very artificial. Yeah. I was gonna say, how much of it do you think is dye is like. But it's just red dye. Yeah, just chocolate cake with red dye. Is it really chocolate crepe? That's what they say. I'm closing my eyefinder at home. I mean it's a moist cake. I feel like the cake has no flavor though. I think it's just the icing. Really? Yeah. You think it's just a moist sponge with good icing. I'm comparing it to Suzy cake. Right, okay. And like Susie cake at least had some sort of flavor cake itself. You can't compare it to Suzy cake. That's the last cake I had. Queen of the cakes. The cake really isn't that flavorful, but the icing is good and it's hard. Now that I've baked a cake in my life, it is hard to make an icing nice and is good. The icing is very good. You gotta admit, the moist and cold temperature is a nice combination. Yeah, it's nice. It's definitely not dry. We talked about how like cuz I grew up eating like tres leches and I'm used to very wet cakes and whenever I go to friends houses and have like a classic traditional, like just make it wet for me. Yes. No, I'd eat like a regular cake and be like, she's still here. I thought you were got back. I'm coming.

[B]

Can I come back and just say something really quick?

[A]

Yeah, come in. It's your show. You.

[B]

Am I interrupting good content?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. I just wanted to come back and say something.

[A]

What?

[B]

This is the sip, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. So earlier we were hating on Benny Blanca. I just watched a trailer for his podcast with little Dicky or whatever his name is.

[A]

Really good.

[B]

It looks like it's a great concept and a really fun show.

[A]

So he just said 30ft.

[B]

The concept is that it's just a bunch of friends hanging out. So they put cameras all over this guy, I guess his name is Dick or something.

[A]

Little Dicky. Little Dicky.

[B]

That is what he goes by.

[A]

Did you watch the podcast? I've seen clips. Did you see his dirty feet? I did see that.

[B]

Dirty feet.

[A]

Well, yeah, because you walk around barefoot. That's the problem.

[B]

But the point is I'm trying to just keep my nipples out of this because I don't want to lose the money. But I will say she can't have

[A]

the dairy, which is why she isn't here right now. Yeah, the breast milk.

[B]

My baby's weak. Spartans would never have with his ass. But I will say this. I do think friends keep secrets looks like a great concept for a show. It's a live stream, a podcast and they've got cameras like in the refrigerator all over the house. People are just hanging Out.

[A]

Yeah, that sounds like a nightmare to edit. Well, they're not edit like, there. He's like. He's like an even more in depth Big Brother. It's kind of like a Big Brother podcast. Filmed like a big brother. Yeah, that is pretty cool. So they can go, like, piss or go make a snack.

[B]

And that's the opening of the podcast. Is little Dicky kissing, honestly. Okay, I'll see you guys later.

[A]

So not a podcast.

[B]

That's not the audio that I just was listening to. Sounds like a podcast.

[A]

It would be so fun if Lizzy and I could just go to any room. We could just podcast the whole thing. You know, you're just moving and talking and living.

[B]

Yeah, well, when I was listening to them, like, it's just like a bunch of friends hanging out, and it's like, that's us. They ripped off our thing, period. And little Dicky's like, we've just. Revolution was like, no, you ripped off our thing. Bigger budget. Okay, let's try more eyebrows.

[A]

Let's try lemon. Can you guys. What I was saying was to say that I don't like a dream dry cakes, and these are not dry, so I like that. Right. That's all I was trying to say. Which one's lemon? That's lemon. It's very lemon. Yeah, that's good. Tastes like air freshener. I like a lemon flavor. Sal hates it. Yeah. Yeah. No other input. So you're not a banana or a lemon girl or a lemon? I like banana, but, like, that was like, like, laughing taffy banana. Yeah, it's very, very sharp. Yeah. This one, it. That reminds me of, like, a thing I used to eat growing up. What, a lemon or a lemon pound cake? Oh, yeah, it's good. Okay, let's shift to their classic celebration cake. I think the lemon's my favorite so far. That's confetti. Confetti, yeah. Wow. I can't be yelling on a podcast when I'm having a voice that's leaving me. That one's good. This one's pretty good. Oh, wow. That is like, box. That's, like grocery store box cake. Yeah. Well, all the flavors are pretty chemically, and this is what you want to taste. You want this flavor to be, like, not real. It is. It is kind of chemically. Yeah. But, like, I like it. You want that for, like, a confetti cake, but that one has the most flavor so far. Yeah, the confetti cake is good. Wow. Yeah. So far, if you're going here, it's the best. Yeah. Great. Okay. Do you guys want to go to chocolate chip or chocolate Oreo? You want to get carrot? That's Oreo. Oh, carrot. Where's carrot? Oh, I see. How could I miss her? So carrot cake, is that like straight up carrots? Carrots and cat chemicals. Pretty good. It almost tastes more like a spice cake. Yeah, I think that's kind of what carrots like, cinnamony. Really? Yeah, it's like a spice cake with some carrots in. Also works because it has a good frosting. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a pumpkin spice is a pumpkin. It looks like an old person cake, if that makes sense. But like, you're happy to be there. Like your grandma made it, but you. But you're like, thanks, grandma. Well, and to think we were just trying to get that over with. What a beautiful thing. That was probably my favorite one so far, actually. The Lord really mysterious ways. You like that more than the celebration Funfetti. Yeah. Because the more I ate it, the more I was like. It's like. It's very, like, stuck. Right. Sweet. Okay. I thought this was chocolate chip. Chris is right. It's Oreo. Yay. I'm very excited about that. All right. Shout out to our friends at Oreo. You have friends? I like to assume they're my friends. That's what people say when they're like. They like a brand deal. You know what I mean? Thanks to our friends over at Oreo. So maybe if we do it enough, we'll get one. Yeah, maybe we'll get a friend at Oreo. I would like creamer Oreo. Do you guys taste Oreo at all? No. Okay. No, this is pretty good. I think they could go bolder and put chunks of Oreo. It looks like they try. Yeah, they definitely try. I get a hint of Oreo. I do get a hint of Oreo. Regardless, I like it. See, I like. I actually do think it's really good. It's good. I get a hint of Oreo. The more I go, the more I taste it. Am I crazy?

[B]

No.

[A]

It's coming out. Yeah, it really is. She takes them in. Wow. Actually, I like this. You hate it, Spencer. It doesn't deliver. I'm very good at promises. Like, it needs to be. It needs to have crunch in. Doesn't have anything. It's just, like, kind of mushy. It tastes like the last bite of, like, a fried Oreo. It's like, where there's barely any Oreo left. Yeah. You know? Okay. Chocolate. It also kind of looks weird. It's not a Good color. It's like kind of gray. Wait, we don't have two more. We do.

[B]

There's the.

[A]

There's the raspberry one and the chocolate one. Oh, I see. I know. Cuz I've been eating the entire thing every time he literally.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Wow. Chris. He's hiding behind. Chris likes them all. He's just.

[B]

Chris always eats them a lot.

[A]

Don't let me food shame.

[B]

You period.

[A]

Which one are we doing there? Chocolate. Chocolate. I have no self control. Wait, which one are we doing now? Chocolate. Oh, wait, you know, chocolate. Wasn't that Oreo Chris? I thought that was Oreo. Oh, yeah, that's Oreo. Chris, you lied to us. And you're a devil. I lied?

[B]

How did I lie?

[A]

You're the devil. We were eating chocolate chip. I was eating the Oreo. I don't think so. This tastes a lot more like chocolate. No, I think there's chocolate chips. No, this is chocolate. It is? Yeah. Yeah. Dang it. Did you not get one of those for calling you the devil? Cr. Look back. The video you took, it should show it. Oh, did you take videos of what they look like? Hold on, let me know. Yeah, cuz it's chocolate in the store. He did? Yes. Chocolate chocolate chip. So it's chocolate. You're probably right. So now you're eating Oreo 90% of the time. Spencer's right. How did you see? I'm reading it right here. How did you think this was tasted like Oreo? I don't know. I gas at myself. You're crazy. You're going crazy.

[B]

You're the devil.

[A]

He kept saying it tastes so much like Oreo. I thought it did. Wow. Now what do you think of Oreo? It tastes more like Oreo than this. It actually does. I was like, at least there's chunks in this. Yeah, yeah. At least double chocolate chunk got chunks. Okay, now I feel crazy because this doesn't taste at all like Oreo. That would taste way more like Oreo. Would have been convincing me. It did. And I was crazy. How dare you. Crush. Wow. Do you like that? Mmm. Let's do it. It's like a crappy marble cake. Yeah. Yeah. It's okay. Okay, so this last one's white chocolate raspberry. Save the worst for last, huh? I didn't mean to. This is like the one I was least looking forward to. That tastes like really fake. Yeah, like chapstick. Chapstick. Do you guys any chapstick when you guys are younger too? Or just McDonald's? Here's the thing. I do like all of them. I think we're being a little harsh on her flavors because she does deliver a good product. You're not going into nothing. Bunt to eat to Madam Bunk. You're not doing what we're doing here. If you. If you get one little bundt cake and take a nibble, you're like, oh, this is good. I think I'm just disgusting because I like this one a lot. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm really. That's why you think you're disgusting? Yeah, because everyone seems to hate it. Let me see what I think of it. What do you think? I'm disgusting for many other reasons. What did you mean? Devil's up to his trick. So you guys like, here he goes again. I don't know. Oh, no, I just got a huge chunk of carrot in the carrot one, and it was a turn off. That's what. That's what the chunks are, is carrot. Oh, it's carrot cake. Yeah, but I don't know. I thought it was like. I don't know. That was a turn off. Cut up. Just the name. Yeah. Okay. What flavor did you guys like the best? This is a little disappointing because when I get the mini ones for, like, baby showers, they really are good. I mean, none of these, like, I think like you said, if I just had one of these to myself, I wouldn't be like, yuck. Maybe comparing them to each other is just not the right move for a place like this. I like the fun fitting the most or whatever. Confetti. Yeah, I think that one and probably the carrot cake are. The carrot cake. Really good shout out to our friends at Funfetti. The Funfetti is the only one I finished, so that means it's probably the one I like the most.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

I agree. We're on the same page. I couldn't say more on opposite pages. Chris could be found dead in the podcast shed editing this episode. He's going to be, like, hyped up for. For, like, 10 minutes from the update. Yes. A little more of this maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you don't crash. No, I don't know. Wow. Oh, she's back. Oh, he had to postmate Sephora because Lizzie wouldn't go for it to the

[B]

car and go get his chapstick.

[A]

I told him I had one in there, you fool.

[B]

And that's the sit.

[A]

We are leaving. So come on. What did you do this whole time? Just pop.

[B]

I was pumping. Yeah.

[A]

Did you get some for me, dude? No. Oh, we Gotta the after sip, too.

[B]

Oh, I got. Well, my ride's here.

[A]

Oh, you Ubered.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh. Bye.

[B]

Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.

[A]

And that's the sip is where we are here.

[B]

I already said my ride.

[A]

We have to do it together. So it's Sal. Well, no, I'm not done talking to Sal. Okay. So. Yes. Tell us about yourself right by. Right at the end. All right. Yeah. Who are you? He's Frank. Are you from New Jersey? Yeah, I'm from New Jersey. Wow. I'm a video editor. Videographer. He's editing these thumbnails for the past month at least. So if they suck, it's my fault. No, they're great. And I'm here filming a week in their life. And that's for Shane. Some cake. And we were like, you know what? If you're at this office, this is what we do on Mondays.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. He's in the Jets. I'm in the Sharks. We're enemy gangs. So. Yeah, that's really it. Wow. As a former eater, I'm disappointed. I was expecting, like, this isn't where you would spend your calories. Yeah, no, I'm. I'm very. I'm a little sad. What is your dessert of choice? If you're. It's. You're pulling the plug. It's your ag. Yeah, it's your. Yes. Probably. Like, it's kind of boring. Just like ice cream. Oh, I love ice cream. Yeah. Just easy ice cream. Not a specific brand. Ice cream or gelato. Ice cream. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Wow. I don't really know what gelato is. Wait, you're Italian. You should like that. I'm like, fake Italian. I'm like, hey. Hey. Fair. Sorry. Wow. And to everyone who says, we don't have guests on this show, eat my butt. All right, you guys. Well, I hope you enjoyed getting no Sal. I'm surprised guys, he didn't see that injury. He's young. He's full of life. He has a girlfriend, by the way. We literally have everyone lined up from youngest to oldest. Oh, wow. Is that on purpose? Yes. Oh, you're older than Marlon. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that. He's 42. No, I'm not. That's not true. Okay. He's 40. Yeah. You guys are. OK. OK. How old are you really? 35. Oh, wait, really? Yeah. Oh, then he's like two and a half days older than me. Because you're a July birthday, right? Yeah. So really, you're two months older than me. It feels like an eternity, right? Wow, you're so young. All right, you guys. Well, thank you so much for watching and enjoying the sip. Sorry. Make sure you follow all of us. I'll have Sal's Instagram in the description section below. Send him some crazy dms, guys. Send him crazy dm. Send him like a DM that makes him respond weird and then use that screenshot. No dick pics. He has a girlfriend. Girlfriend. If you're going to send dick pics, send him to Spencer. He's into weird things. Not gay people. But he will rate your dick. Guys, check out my only vids where I'm gonna do dick ratings. Your boyfriend. I'm rate your boyfriend's dick. Steve Harvey ratings. Steve Hart. I could probably make a little more money doing that. Yeah. Okay. And Chris is back to posting every Friday. Allegedly every Friday going forward. Foodie Friday, baby. What are you eating this week? I think hopefully, finally, the proof being food near me, but I don't know for sure. We'll see. We'll see. Nice. What's stopping you? Every time I try to go, there's a situation in my apartment that doesn't allow me to leave. Long story short. Well, McDonald's big arches are always waiting for you. That might be. That's the alternative, yeah. All right. Thank you for watching. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. And that's the sip. I didn't know that part. That's okay. Sa.