Tasting McDonald’s Secret Menu with Shane!! Pumpkin Spice Edition!

Summary

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The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon

Episode: Tasting McDonald’s Secret Menu with Shane!! Pumpkin Spice Edition!

Release Date: September 3, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode is a quintessential, freewheeling “Sip” experience: a blend of pop culture, irreverent humor, and slice-of-life banter, this time with a seasonal twist. Ryland and Lizzie—joined by producer Chris and guest Shane—sift through the latest celeb gossip, parenting woes, and a chaotic taste-test of McDonald’s secret and seasonal menu items, all while celebrating (and complaining about) Labor Day. They tackle everything from McDonald’s pumpkin treats and hackable McFlurries to Taylor Swift engagement chatter, parenting struggles, and social media pet peeves, delivering plenty of laughs and memorable hot takes.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Chaotic Labor Day Energy & Why Holidays Shouldn’t Be on Mondays

[03:11 – 04:12]

• Ryland vents about the inconvenience of U.S. holidays always landing on Mondays:

  “Why is every holiday on a Monday?...Put it on a Friday. Let everyone have a long weekend starting Friday!” (03:23, Ryland)

• Lizzie zones out, humorously reimagining “Karma” as “Monday.”
• The pair joke about their “laboring on Labor Day” and office dynamics.

2. Phone Addiction Drag & Friendship Jabs

[05:01 – 05:59]

• Ryland confronts Lizzie about her phone addiction, referencing Lizzie’s husband’s complaints:

  “I think you do have a phone addiction.” (05:03, Ryland)

• They joke about their evolving friendship, how texting habits have changed, and being “co-workers” now.

3. Parenting Struggles: Nursery, Preschool, and Dog Drama

[09:15 – 12:30]

• Lizzie shares about Billy’s first days at preschool (he’s in the infant room!):

  “He’s drawing. He’s an artiste. He’s got little markers, he’s coloring. And he’s not even one yet!” (09:47, Lizzie)

• Discussion of daycare protocols, early pick-ups, and surprise fees.
• Icky the dog’s ongoing medical misadventures, vet visits, and a brush with “Munchhausen’s by proxy” jokes.
• Joe (Lizzie’s husband) declared he “couldn’t deny himself the love of a French bulldog”—and Lizzie’s now paying for it.

4. Women, Gay Privilege, and Life Struggles

[14:24 – 16:49]

• Ryland and Lizzie banter about “gay privilege” and “what it’s like to be a woman.”
• Lizzie:

  “I do get to deal with more...God saves his toughest battles for his strongest warriors. So women out here.” (14:44, Lizzie)

• Ryland:

  “What if you’re a woman that’s gay?” (14:52, Ryland)

5. Celebrity Hot Topics: Taylor Swift & Millie Bobby Brown

[41:14 – 46:43]

• Discussion of Taylor Swift’s rumored engagement; Ryland’s skepticism about relationship longevity, now proven wrong:

  “I didn’t know that this relationship was going to stand the test of time.” (42:26, Ryland)

• Lizzie:

  “He matches her freak and lets her flag fly... He’s not intimidated by a woman who is the most powerful woman in the world.” (42:48, Lizzie)

• Millie Bobby Brown & Jake Bongiovi: Adoption news, internet criticism of Millie, and defending her choices:

  “Let her live. She’s 21. Jon Bon Jovi’s son is hot.” (45:01, Lizzie)
  “The Internet is shockingly nasty. Let her live.” (45:01, Lizzie)

6. Cardi B’s Ongoing Court Drama

[47:55 – 51:15]

• Recap of Cardi B’s legal issues with a security guard allegedly filming her at the OBGYN.
• Lizzie relays Cardi’s courtroom one-liners:

  “We are who we are. It's a wig, bitch.” (49:11, Lizzie retelling Cardi) “Because I was pregnant and I was worried that someone was going to kick my ass.” (50:07, retelling Cardi)

• General consensus: overt sympathy with Cardi, eyeroll at $24 million lawsuit.

7. The Ongoing Saga of “The Summer I Turned Pretty”

[34:35, 52:03 – 53:56]

• Lizzie re-watches the series for emotional “edging”:

  “Something about a girl, brothers, just gets me like right at the edge of my seat.” (34:37, Lizzie)

• Theories about “Love Island” as reality TV porn.
• Lizzie’s changing team allegiance (from Jer to Connie); Joe watches with her—and surprisingly weighs in.

8. McDonald’s Secret Menu: Pumpkin Spice Edition

[56:12 – End, especially 58:59 – 74:23]

• The crew Uber Eats and then drives to McDonald’s to try all the pumpkin-flavored/secret items.
• Notable taste tests:
  • Pumpkin Pie and Pumpkin Pie McFlurry hack (“get their pumpkin syrup pumped into a McFlurry” – 59:07)
  • Attempt to get McDonald’s to blend in the pie for them (denied—DIY approach instead)
  • Review of the new pink (Grimace??) milkshake:

    “It tastes like the bubble gum from when you were a kid.” (68:17, Ryland)

• General verdicts:
  • Pumpkin Pie McFlurry: “This is incredible. Actually. This is so good.” (72:14, Ryland)
  • Pumpkin syrup: “Tastes like farts and chemicals and farts. Chemical farts.” (72:38, Lizzie)

9. Peak Bickering: Phone Calls vs. Phone Addiction

[53:04 – 54:04]

• Ryland calls out Lizzie for phone addiction—while taking three calls himself (“pressing matters at my house”).
• Lizzie:

  “You opened the show with giving me shit about being addicted to my phone and constantly checking it and then took three phone calls.” (53:04, Lizzie)

• Ryland:

  “I have a pressing matter at my house..." (53:10, Ryland)

10. Food Takes and Final Thoughts

[66:12 – 75:14]

• “I love a crunch in my dessert. Like, I love...pralines and cream.” (74:04, Ryland)
• “Pumpkin Pie McFlurry—best version ever.”
• House buying crisis, economy talk, and the right ice cream-to-pie ratio.
• Closing exhaustion:

  “Honestly, this felt like a party and...I'm exhausted from it.” (75:10, Ryland)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If I give you a chub, leave a tip.” (26:19, Lizzie)
• “Is he the smartest one because he gets hand fed venison? He is living.” (12:08, Lizzie)
• “This is bubblegum-edging, like emotional edging.” (34:44, Lizzie, on “The Summer I Turned Pretty”)
• “Why is it a joke, then? Why is it a joke?” (54:23, Ryland, not getting Lizzie’s McChicken bit)
• “You know, Taylor Swift literally wrote a poem...and pumpkin spice lattes.” (55:14, Lizzie)
• “Ronald McDonald is Pride-coated.” (79:05, Chris)
• “Let her live. She’s 21. Jon Bon Jovi’s son is hot.” (45:01, Lizzie)
• “It tastes like chemical farts.” (72:38, Lizzie)
• “He matches her freak and lets her flag fly.” (42:48, Lizzie, on Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |----------------------------------------------|--------------------| | Labor Day Rant / Office Vibe | 03:11 – 04:12 | | Phone Addiction & Friendship Dynamics | 05:01 – 05:59 | | Parenting, Preschool & Pet Chaos | 09:15 – 12:30 | | Gender/Gay Privilege Banter | 14:24 – 16:49 | | Taylor Swift/Engagement Hot Takes | 41:14 – 43:07 | | Millie Bobby Brown & Trad Wife Internet Discourse | 45:01 – 46:43 | | Cardi B Courtroom Story | 47:55 – 51:15 | | “The Summer I Turned Pretty” as Reality TV “Porn” | 34:35; 52:03 – 53:56 | | McDonald’s Pumpkin Spice Taste-Test Adventure | 58:59 – 74:23 | | Pie/McFlurry Hack Reactions | 72:00 – 73:15 | | Show Closing & Aftertaste | 75:05 – End |

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Summary & Takeaway

This episode was classic “Sip”: high-energy banter, zero filter, a little chaos, and a lot of fall fun. The taste test showcased true YouTube creativity (McFlurry hack FTW), the pop culture moments were sharp and of-the-moment, and parenting/pet fails anchored their “real life” relatability. Amongst the snark and food-induced delirium, Ryland and Lizzie remain lovable, unfiltered, and hilarious co-hosts who make even a (way too hot) holiday episode feel like a fun hang with friends.

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For Pumpkin Snack Hackers: Try the pumpkin pie McFlurry at McDonald’s—just break up their seasonal pie into your McFlurry for the ultimate fall treat.

For Pop Culture Addicts: You’ll get hot takes on Taylor, Millie, Cardi, and whatever’s trending on Labor Day.

For Sip Diehards: All the classic energy, petty squabbles, and “did-they-really-just-say-that?” moments you love.

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Transcript

[A]

I'm gonna smash this pumpkin pie in your face. This is gonna get us in so much trouble.

[B]

I'm a mother with sunburnt eyes.

[A]

The cars hate to see the sip.

[B]

Coming, but it's okay cause it's Labor Day. So I called a laborer out.

[C]

Ronald McDonald. Is Pride coated?

[A]

Oh, no. This is kind of a problem.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Hold on just one second. Hello? That's the last time that car was seen before the Netflix documentary. Oh my God. Lizzy's husband recently has been like, you have a serious problem.

[B]

You do just love working on a. This is no way to start. I'm literally chewing.

[A]

Still take it back to one.

[B]

What? I'm literally eating. It's a mouthful. I said you guys need to get me an ottoman in here.

[A]

Because nobody ever inquired about what kind of furniture I need.

[B]

No one's ever asked what I need, furniture wise.

[A]

Okay, you have stuff on your lips.

[B]

I'm just gonna le it. It's Labor Day.

[A]

I'm just telling you because, you know, I don't want you to be the person that you don't enjoy being around.

[B]

Listen.

[A]

Because you can't muster up the courage to tell him that there's always boogies.

[B]

Well, this is not behind you.

[A]

He knows you think he.

[B]

One can never be too sure who's watching.

[A]

I mean, obviously this person isn't self aware enough to know that.

[B]

Shut the fuck up.

[A]

Say if you're a person that are you doing. This person wouldn't identify as this. If they're not aware that it's a problem.

[B]

I mean, I'm sure they're aware. It's probably a medical problem. No, I've nothing that justifies a note from a doctor.

[A]

I'm going to need. We need to contact the significant other of this person and say, is this an actual medical problem? Because I can't stand being around this person.

[B]

No, I can stand it.

[A]

You can?

[B]

Yeah. I'm just. Listen, we need to move on.

[A]

Okay. Are you gonna execute on the other bean for this next pregnancy?

[B]

My bracelet?

[A]

Yeah, because I'm looking. Lizzie likes to get beans.

[B]

Well, this was a gift.

[A]

Oh, it was?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

From who?

[B]

My friend Megan.

[A]

That's a nice gift. Is that Tiffany's?

[B]

Yeah, very nice gift. Megan's crazy.

[A]

So we were at Tiffany's again and there was a bean bracelet and she was like, I've got to execute on.

[B]

That because it matches my friendship bracelet with a friend that won't wear their friendship side.

[A]

I've got to say, even some things are too gay for Me. And I love you, Shane. And I love it. I will. I think I'll. I don't know how you.

[B]

I'll take it. It's fine.

[A]

But we got Lizzie. Was this for Christmas?

[B]

That was my birthday.

[A]

Oh, this was for her birthday. It's like this diamond, dainty.

[B]

And Billy likes to play with the little tail.

[A]

And the tail is what bothers me. That's what's too gay for me.

[B]

I like the tail.

[A]

The tail.

[B]

Well, then take the tail off, you weirdo.

[A]

Well, how?

[B]

Cut it off. No, you go to a jeweler and.

[A]

Then Lizzie and I. I guess they'd probably do it at the store itself. Whatever. I have the same matching one, and I don't have.

[B]

He just doesn't want to publicly declare our friendship. And that's fine. If you're insecure in it, that's fine.

[A]

Okay. So here we are on Labor Day, and I have laboring a real pickle with the United States of America, and it's that. Why is every holiday on a Monday?

[B]

What?

[A]

Like, what in the world? I know we've complained about this before, but it's like, put it on a Friday. Let everyone have a long weekend starting Friday, when we're all ramped up and ready to go. Monday is the beginning of a new week. Monday is when everything is resetting, when we're pulling back to launch off. And how am I supposed to launch into the week if everyone's off on Monday but us?

[B]

I blacked out everything you just said because I was thinking about the song Karma. But instead of Karma, it was Monday because of the way you were talking. You know, Monday brings all my girls to the summit. You know what I mean?

[A]

It's real enraging, right? Yeah. It makes our already stressful Monday way more stressful when nobody else can work.

[B]

It is crazy. You do just love working on a holiday.

[A]

I literally, yesterday, I texted Chris and I was like, don't come to work if you have plans. Just don't show up. Okay? I know people with.

[B]

I wish he had worded it like that when I was seeing those text messages.

[A]

I basically did.

[B]

No, you did not.

[A]

I said, I know people with friends. Take the day off. Let me know. I am not going to let you try to tell me that. I didn't do that. I said, christopher, we are working tomorrow. But I know it's an actual holiday where people with friends do fun things. If you have plans, no pressure to join us. I want you to be able to be with your boyfriend. If you guys have plans, I Mean, I.

[B]

So like I said, I have notes on the overall performance.

[A]

Okay, let's hear it. You can set the text because you're normally the one that confirms the time for today.

[B]

I was with Joe, and Joe's like, you phone all the time. You got a phone.

[A]

Oh, I've been meaning to tell you.

[B]

What?

[A]

When I'm editing the after sip, I'm starting to agree with your husband. I think you do have a phone addiction.

[B]

So who cares? You.

[A]

Well, sometimes me and your husband.

[B]

Well, get over it.

[A]

Like, even if you're not on it, it's open to whoever you're messaging or to your Instagram dm.

[B]

I'm going to let you drag me, but I'm going to text while you.

[A]

I really feel as though like, one day it's going to be full frame of like, we're going to be filming the after sip and this is going to be like, you're talking major shit about me or something. It's just, like, on display.

[B]

I'm just texting my nanny this. I'm training at home to make key.

[A]

But Lizzie's husband recently has been like, you have a serious problem. Problem. And what used to be a flex of her being like, oh, yeah. I reply before the message is even sent, period. Before.

[B]

Before the dots think about texting me. I'm there. Hey. Felt that thought.

[A]

It's driving a divide in your relationship.

[B]

No, it's driving a divide in our relationship.

[A]

Only when we're filming. I don't care. When you and I are hanging out.

[B]

I never get to talk to you anymore.

[A]

What?

[B]

We don't hang out? Well, all we had was texting, and now we don't even have that. And Shane makes you put your phone away at night. Our lives are over. We're co workers.

[A]

I'm thinking one day we're gonna be able to be fun again with our kids.

[B]

I would love to try. I would love to give that the old college.

[A]

Wait, hold on. Before I got into your husband's dragging you for your phone addiction, we were somewhere. We were somewhere.

[B]

We were. Well, we're in the office.

[A]

We're laboring on Labor Day.

[B]

Labor on Labor Day. You want that to be a Friday, not a Monday.

[A]

Wouldn't that be nice? We just move all these holidays that land on a Monday to Friday.

[B]

Move them over because Monday. What are we gonna do? You're not. You told me I'm not allowed to threaten to burn down federal buildings anymore.

[A]

Because I. Yes, I. And I had asked.

[B]

I could execute change if you would Only let me make my threads.

[A]

I came over on to your house on Saturday.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I said, are we really gonna work or should we just relax and. No, I'm planning to work. And then I said, sound like me? Are you kidding me? I gave you the option on Saturday.

[B]

I was joking. I said, no, let's go to the mall. Because it's a holiday. You love going to the mall on a holiday. Because it's a nightmare, remember? Like, that's.

[A]

We remember. Every time we choose to go to a mall. It happens to be one of these Mondays. Well, that people aren't at work or school.

[B]

And that's why I was joking.

[A]

See, nobody wants.

[B]

I mean, I feel like, here we are. Does that not feel like an obvious joke to you, Chris?

[A]

I just feel like. Then why are we even here?

[B]

No. My son is literally throwing a rager at my house right now. He's got kegs and babies all fucked up all over the place.

[A]

We should have at least just done a pool party episode where we just float in the pool and talk about nothing.

[B]

What is. What. Let's go. I don't have a bra on. I have a bathing suit in the car.

[A]

You do?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Chris. I could figure something out.

[B]

Take your shirt off, Chris.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right. See you guys at the pool.

[A]

Just kidding.

[B]

I can't muster the strength right now. I'm so freaking hungry. I can't drink protein drinks anymore. I'm starving, Marvin.

[A]

Even oatmeal you're throwing.

[B]

I threw up an entire bowl of oatmeal the other day. Can you believe that? An entire.

[A]

That's a rough thing.

[B]

That is a rough thing. It literally is rough. Coming back up. Like, it is, like, gritty. It's like throwing up.

[A]

Why did you decide pregnancy was the time to start eating oatmeal?

[B]

Because I can't eat anything else. Dude.

[A]

What?

[B]

There's just nothing sounds good to me. Except for the egg salad tea sandwiches at the Peninsula. But how do I get those every day?

[A]

Literally impossible. It's like an hour from our house and it's a four hour endeavor to sit there and eat tea.

[B]

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen. I'm so hungry. Like, what?

[A]

You didn't bring any snacks?

[B]

I mean, I took some machines and I feel bad about it. I really hate that I did that.

[A]

Who cares?

[B]

I do. A little bit.

[A]

It's an office.

[B]

I know, but, like, he lives off those. So he's gonna come here thinking he has them rationed out for a specific time frame, and he's down 1x bar.

[A]

Chris has an RX bar.

[B]

What's in it? No, I mean, I just had the egg whites.

[A]

Almonds.

[B]

I worried about vomited egg white.

[A]

Oh, my God. It's. This doesn't taste like anything.

[B]

I don't care, but I can smell them already.

[A]

Okay, sorry. So Billy had his first week at preschool.

[B]

Well, two days.

[A]

I mean, I know, but it's still his first. Yes, it's his first endeavor.

[B]

His. He's launched into the world.

[A]

Is it preschool or is it daycare? I'm just. I'm not being nasty.

[B]

It's preschool, but it's daycare. It's an infant room at a preschool.

[A]

Okay, so it's all.

[B]

It's all infants in his room, but it's called a preschool.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. And it's so cute. He's drawing. He's an artiste. He's got little markers. He's coloring. He's. And he's not even one yet. Like, what, one year?

[A]

What?

[B]

What? 11 month old? Do you know that's coloring?

[A]

I know. Lizzie goes, they have been making bread.

[B]

And I go, he's making holla bread. He is making hollow bread. I sent you the picture. And now whenever he changes diaper, I go, we've got little hollow buns. And I smack his little butt. And he brought the hollow brawl, the hollow roll that he. What is it, my broll? The holla bread bro back. Why can't I?

[A]

And I was there when it was devastatingly destroyed by one of the dogs.

[B]

Billy was so proud of his little challah bread. And he took a couple bites out of it, but it was stale by day two, and he was just, like, treasuring it. And then he started giving it to Icky, and Icky, like, truly ate it.

[A]

And he almost died eating it. I was like, are you.

[B]

Well, because it was so stale by that point.

[A]

Already problematic is just dying on hollow bread that's four days old and rock hard.

[B]

We're going to the vet again tomorrow.

[A]

Stop it.

[B]

I swear to God.

[A]

Like, I honestly think you just need to stop it.

[B]

No, I think you just need to.

[A]

Say, Icky, if you have an issue, it's too bad. You just need to work it out.

[B]

We were there last week for an emergency.

[A]

I know. When are you not at the vet for an emergency? She text me. Icky has hives. He either got bit by a spider or Stu. I. Like, I have never met a dog that walks into more problems than Icarus.

[B]

Crazy covered in huge welt hives.

[A]

I wouldn't be Surprised? If the vet starts telling you, I think you need to find a new vet because this is becoming crazy.

[B]

I am scared they're going to be, because, like, literally when I called about the hives, I was like, hey, it's me. How y' all doing?

[A]

Anyway, they were like, you have a problem. This is Munchinghausen's disease by proxy.

[B]

And Joe's starting to have it because since Icky got the hives, we have to give him Benadryl for, like, three days or whatever in case he did eat a bee, because I guess the beef can resur. Like, the bee allergy can resurrect itself in the guts for 72 hours. So if your dog ever has, like, severe hives, take them into the vet. And if you don't take them into the vet right away, monitor them and make sure that they can breathe forever. Like, for 72 hours.

[A]

Yeah. I was up every 20 minutes last night just making sure he could breathe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, this dog is more at work than your child.

[B]

No, he is.

[A]

Send him to daycare. Daycare.

[B]

I wish I could sleep, train him and send him to daycare here, but I can't. He's an idiot. Or is he the smartest one because he gets hand fed venison? Like, he is living.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Anyways, his paws are still messed up from his yeast infection, so I'm taking him back in for a recheck. I don't want to give him. This is so boring.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. What about Billy's preschool?

[B]

It's G. Is F. I love it.

[A]

Lizzie learns the hard way that if you're late for pickup, it's $30aminute or something crazy like that. Wow, that's a big bill. And nobody wanted to tell her that Fridays are early day out?

[B]

Well, no, they. They told us everything, cuz when it. This all happened very suddenly.

[A]

Oh, no. This is kind of a problem.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Hold on just one second. Hello? Hey.

[B]

I can hear it.

[A]

Oh, yes, I will right now. Thank you. Is that somebody fixing the lights on my palm trees? They just went out.

[B]

Well, I just got some texts from my husband.

[A]

What are they, about a million? Oh, gosh. Do I not have service here to open the gate?

[B]

This is pretty cute.

[A]

Where's my husband when I need him?

[B]

James is playing with Billy.

[A]

Well, you're not gonna show that on the sip. I mean, we can. Okay, hold on. This is so cute. Okay, we're coming back right now.

[B]

And we're back.

[A]

And we're back. Let me just make sure the gates open. Yep. How could I go on without my palm trees being lit? I walked out the other night and I was like, why is it dark out here?

[B]

This gay.

[A]

Did you see the meme I sent you the other day?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The gay guy being made fun of in high school.

[B]

And then he comes back and they're all ugly.

[A]

20 years. All the straight people are, like, ugly and fat with wrinkles. And the gay guy's, like, ripped with gorgeous hair and beautiful. And it's like, oh, how the tables turn.

[B]

That is the saying.

[A]

I've always lived a pretty fabulous life, though. Yeah, that's my gay privilege for some reason.

[B]

No, as you're entitled to it. Thank you for what your people have been through.

[A]

One of us might as well have a good existence the whole way through.

[B]

Yes. I'm fine.

[A]

What's it like to be a woman?

[B]

So cool. It's really cool. It's like. I don't know how to explain it.

[A]

Do you feel like there's equal opportunity for you?

[B]

I feel like no, but there is. Like, I do get to deal with more. And I have heard that God. God saves his toughest battles for his strongest warriors. So women out here.

[A]

So does gay equal. Like the same on the front line, or is it harder to be a woman than gay?

[B]

No, I think it's harder to be a woman than gay. I'm gonna go ahead and say it.

[A]

Okay. What if you're a woman? That's gay.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Whatever. I'm celebrating women. Look at my shirt. Love.

[B]

Laughs.

[A]

I'm celebrating love. She proved me wrong. It's real, you know?

[B]

Now you're on board.

[A]

I'm just saying, if they got engaged.

[B]

I feel like in our group chat, Morgan was like, she's engaged.

[A]

And you were like, I was having a rough week. And I. At least I responded. When I was trying to get excited about her album being dropped, there was silence from this one. And I was like, I don't even.

[B]

You didn't get silence.

[A]

Horrible Swifty.

[B]

Okay, You're a mom.

[A]

She's a woman, and she's a mom. Thank God she's not a lesbian woman. Mom. Imagine how hard her life would be.

[B]

Listen, I'm gay.

[A]

Presenting. Okay?

[B]

So I know a fraction of the.

[A]

Struggle with a lesbian nanny, so.

[B]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

Well, I'm just saying. You have lesbian friends.

[B]

Yes, I do. This is gonna get us in so much trouble.

[A]

I'm part of the community, guys.

[B]

It's cause I'm tired and my eyes are sunburned.

[A]

It's not because I don't Think her eyes are sunburned?

[B]

They're bur.

[A]

We're talking about sunburnt eyes. I need to be careful too. I can't burn. And then Chris goes, oh, yeah, that's awful. And I was like, what are you guys doing to get sunburned eyes, Chris.

[B]

Chris can probably have empathy for it because he has extremely dry eyes.

[A]

Why are you here, Chris? I told you to take. What the.

[B]

Dude, we all could have been chilling and you were like, we work exclusively on holidays here.

[A]

We are laboring. This is a lot of work.

[B]

Neither of us can handle this. Do you know what we've both been through? What the fuck, bro? Do you know what I'm doing? You needed to step up and be a leader, Chris. Can you imagine a gay man living with an unlit palm tree, let alone 17 unlit palm trees? He is unwell.

[A]

I'm really sorry to have done this to you guys.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

So, Chris, when were your eyes sunburned? I feel like at Warped Tour because I was outside all day and the sun was like right behind where the band was. So I feel like the rays were right in my eyes the entire time I was watching the band. And then at the end of the day, I was like, I don't know. My eyes were on fire. So you got Covid and sunburn. Yes. And burnt lips. And you're gay. It's too much.

[B]

And half German.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

What were you doing? Your eyes don't look sunburned.

[B]

They don't. They burn.

[A]

I think you just sprayed your setting spray in them.

[B]

I did too.

[A]

So why you drop the little too close?

[B]

Because I didn't want to get it in my hair. So I. And I didn't have a towel, so I put my hand over my hair and I was like. I just did a little close section.

[A]

Did you turn down a party to be here with us today? I mean, I did have friends inviting me to Loser. Who's the losers?

[B]

I mean, he's the loser. He had events to go to. What did we have?

[A]

I mean, so we're the losers? Technically, no.

[B]

But he decided not to go. He had options. We didn't.

[A]

It's my favorite job. I have a pool we could be in.

[B]

I won't get in your pool with you.

[A]

What were you telling me about?

[B]

I have no idea. I went to a one year old's birthday party yesterday and got sunburnt eyes.

[A]

It was too hot to be outside yesterday.

[B]

Well, the party was lit though, because it was a splash pad party. So there Was like splash pads for every baby just to crawl around in and get splashy.

[A]

It was really cute in, like, their backyard or something.

[B]

Yeah, and the party favors were towels with their names embroidered on them. Really classy.

[A]

Billy got an embroidered towel.

[B]

Yeah, it's really.

[A]

What kind of high class party are you going to?

[B]

Fucking Claire, dude. She's so cool.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I tell you about Claire all the time.

[A]

Okay. Oh, no, she just feels like another Kate to me.

[B]

I mean, Claire is close to Kate, which is probably why I like her.

[A]

So Billy didn't miss you at preschool?

[B]

No, Billy did miss me at preschool, but he did good.

[A]

Did you miss him at preschool?

[B]

Yeah, but I was dealing with Icky's having an emergency hive situation, so that helped take the edge off, you know?

[A]

Or maybe you just gave Icky hives so that you could distract yourself.

[B]

Don't put that out there.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's a bad look. I did see and Juliet. So now, since being pregnant, my child has attended Katy Perry, the Backstreet Boys concert. And. And Juliet.

[A]

What's that?

[B]

It's basically like a culmination of all of those shows in one. And Juliet is the narrative is what would happen if Romeo and Juliet started with the death scene and instead.

[A]

Oh, there's a death.

[B]

You're done.

[A]

You just spoiled it. Spoiler. Which one dies? Romeo or Juliet? The girl, of course. Right?

[B]

Both of them died.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

But so she takes a sleep. She takes us. This is why I thought the book club would be funny. And he doesn't perform for it because he hates me.

[A]

Did you guys have to read that in school or something?

[B]

Are you stupid? You probably read it in school.

[A]

We all. Okay, now you're shaming my memory. Oh, and then it's like, I try to go back to Shakespeare, but I'm just. The way that it's written. Oh, my God. I bet all of you know about Romeo and Juliet. Congratulations.

[B]

So famously, Juliet takes a sleeping potion. Spoiler alert. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Romeo and Juliet, why are you.

[A]

Watching another spin off on your free time?

[B]

Oh, my goodness. Juliet takes a sleeping potion that makes it appear as though she is dead so that she can be with her lover Romeo, who's from a family that doesn't mesh with her family well. And there's been deaths stuff, and it's drama. So they were like 13, and they're like, oh, for us to be together, I have to fake my death. I'm going to send a lady with a message to Romeo so he knows I'm Just faking it. And then, blah, blah, blah. Message never gets to him. Romeo thinks she's truly dead. Stabs himself in the heart over her dead. Her dead body. She's sleeping. She wakes up, he's dead. She's like, no. And then she kills herself on top of him so they can be together.

[A]

And Juliet.

[B]

And Juliet starts. If Juliet had decided.

[A]

Is this live or a movie?

[B]

It's live.

[A]

You went to a play?

[B]

Yes, I told you that.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When?

[B]

On Wednesday last week.

[A]

What?

[B]

Girl, I texted you. I was like, I know you're having a hard day. I'm not gonna be available to you. You were like, why? I'm gonna be at a play. You were like, why.

[A]

The phone addict has to wait?

[B]

And then he texted me. He texted me. It feels like I've been shot in the heart. I've never been.

[A]

That was the day our nanny left. And everyone's just crying, hyperventilating, crying. It's happening to a good man.

[B]

Yeah. You're the one it happened to.

[A]

Happened to all of us.

[B]

But you said, a good man.

[A]

Okay. Only I'm the only one dealing with the loss.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Okay. I just realized we never turned the air off.

[B]

Whatever. So. And Juliet starts. If Juliet decided not to kill herself. And then it's like she goes on this whole little pilgrimage of self discovery or whatever. And they use all of, like, the early Audie's late 90s music from, like, Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys. And. Yeah, I'm interested in it. Like, it's very fun. It's very fun.

[A]

Her music or starring music.

[B]

So that was cool.

[A]

Who'd you go with?

[B]

The Claire? No, Claire didn't go, but the moms were Mommy and me, except for Claire.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

It was really fun.

[A]

I'm glad you have friends.

[B]

And I came home to my kid having. Or my kid. My dog having massive hives and stayed up all night monitoring his breathing.

[A]

So it's really. Every time you leave.

[B]

I told you, I'm never leaving the house again. He's like, why are you mad at me? And it's like, well, why does my dog get hurt on your watch? Where were you when he was eating the bee? I feel like nine times a day I say, I don't want Icky out back unsupervised because he's fucking stupid and seeks death. And all day I'm like, where's Icky? And you say, oh, I just let him out back. And I'm like, can you not? Can you just not?

[A]

It really is High maintenance. To have a dog you can't just let out back. It's like, well, we.

[B]

Yeah. And this. And he wanted this. Joe literally looked me in the. I said, joe, I cannot handle another French bulldog. He said, I will be God damned if I deny myself the love of a French bulldog.

[A]

He said that?

[B]

Yes. And I said, me. Okay, get the French bulldog. So he got the French bulldog, and now who's paying for it? Emotionally and physically? Me.

[A]

And you are the one driving your ass to the vet. That's a million miles away.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Can you believe that?

[A]

No, I can't.

[B]

So that was May week.

[A]

Well, today's podcast is sponsored by Seatgeek. And I'm sure Elizabeth got her play tickets from Seatgeek using our code, the SIP10. That will get you 10% off your tickets. And Seatgeeks. Incredible. They have over 28 million downloads, making them the number one rated ticketing app. There's over 70,000 events listed on Seatgeek, including concerts, sporting events, music festivals, comedy shows, plays. Literally anything you want to take it for. SeatGeek has got you covered. SeatGeek always has your back. They rate every ticket on a scale of 1 to 10. Look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad, and every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And 10 off is a fantastic offer. So whip out your phone, download the SeatGeek app, and enter the SIP10 to get 10 off your next tickets at Seeking SeatGeek. We love you so much. Okay, so Lizzie and her family go to Hugo's. Now, after dragging the restaurant publicly to.

[B]

Me for years, we still think it's subpar.

[A]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

And I'm going there for breakfast on Friday too.

[A]

Well, then why do you keep going there?

[B]

I don't know. Because it's convenient and, like, reliable.

[A]

Okay. You love it.

[B]

It's like. It is what it is.

[A]

Whatever she was sending me, you couldn't stop sending me photos of what you want.

[B]

Cute. Because we ordered a lot and it was the sticky rolls that you like. The churro sticky rolls.

[A]

Yeah, and they're delicious. What kind of complaint could you have about that?

[B]

I didn't enjoy it.

[A]

What?

[B]

It was a little too firm for me.

[A]

Well, you put the sauce on and then it moistens up. Whatever. I'm done with it. Lizzie, we don't see eye to eye on food or film.

[B]

No, we agree on some films.

[A]

What? Name one film that we both liked.

[B]

I think we both had fun at Jurassic park recently.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you ever see Weapons?

[B]

No. I thought I could pirate it at home, but I can't. I think I have to go to a theater for it. I'm just not in that. That space physically yet.

[A]

Okay, well, I know you guys all noticed I'm still in my Pilates socks. Whoa. Can you believe that? I came straight from Pilates this morning. Hold on.

[B]

What are those? What? What are those?

[A]

They're like, baby socks. They're grippy socks.

[B]

Did you have to get them, or do they make you wear these?

[A]

You have to wear them at the reform.

[B]

I feel like a quarter of my titty is falling off the top.

[A]

That's perfect.

[B]

Just a quarter.

[A]

It's making us all half hard.

[B]

Or a quarter hard. Moving it up, moving it over. Is this gonna get us, like, what am I supposed to do, dude? It's 95 degrees outside.

[A]

No. Exactly. And it's Labor Day. Like, we're not supposed to be working.

[B]

It's Labor Day. I gave my nanny the day off. No one's doing my laundry. I, like, had this, you know?

[A]

I mean, that's very cute. I don't see a problem with that. I think you're giving them chubs.

[B]

I hope I am. You know what? If I give you a chub, Leave a tip.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

You can tip, right?

[A]

I think so. I don't know. My YouTube contact kept saying, turn it on, turn it on. And I was like, I don't know. I don't really want. I don't know if I feel good about people tipping.

[B]

Well, turn it on now.

[A]

It's already on. I turned it on. I was like, okay, it's on. I turned it on.

[B]

And if you tipped because of my tits, let us know because I'm taking all that cash originally.

[A]

We'll give her the tip. If you're tipping for the tip, the tips. Interesting.

[B]

This is what happens when you work on a Labor Day.

[A]

Exactly. What do you expect from us?

[B]

What do you want from us? He's wearing grippy socks. He's dirty. He's coughing. He won't stop coughing.

[A]

I don't know. Does anyone else clock if anyone's sick? It's your. And listen, this play.

[B]

Plague Master General over here. Just, like, wettest cough I've heard in a minute, too, by the way. Like, bro, like, that was a productive.

[A]

Cough after I plagued her with the plague a few weeks back. The plague is now in California.

[B]

Oh, the bubonic plague.

[A]

Sounds really crazy, huh?

[B]

I think it's fine.

[A]

Like, I don't know anything about the plague.

[B]

Actually, I was just open Sores and death among friends. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not like it's the Medieval times.

[A]

And I'm just saying, like, I know we're being chill, and I know everyone gets mad when I'm, like, trying to avoid a common cold, which, like, I don't know why any of you would walk into a common cold.

[B]

I think it's totally fine to avoid.

[A]

A common cold, but I'm just saying, if anyone had something, it was only Bomb. The other day.

[B]

It was. Who?

[A]

Billy Bob. The other day, Billy Bob. His nose was.

[B]

It's because he's teething.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah, fine. It's not the first week of preschool and he caught something.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay, cool. I didn't even say anything. See how cool I was being? But then when she said, I'm sick and wet coughing, I was like, well, if I got a wet cough, it's from somebody else. We know. Lizzie's nursery is beautiful, by the way. The reveal is. Oh, no, it's not. Are you kidding me?

[B]

What are you doing?

[A]

What are you doing? You told me it was up on that. Why did I even come this weekend?

[B]

I got it. They haven't approved it yet.

[A]

Who hasn't approved it? The sponsorship.

[B]

Yeah, they're gonna approve it, but they didn't.

[A]

Does your editor have it done?

[B]

Yeah. Well, no, we split it in two because we were waiting for the approval.

[A]

Whoa, whoa. You did. Wait, hold on. Just wait. Okay, okay, Elizabeth, I'm waiting. This is a phone addict.

[B]

Oh, my God. I'm trying to see if it was approved so that we can continue start deleting.

[A]

How many unread messages do you have? 41,000 unread messages.

[B]

You know what?

[A]

Listen, it's time to start all over, babes.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

You just need to delete it and start all over. That would give. I would die if I looked down and it said 41,000 emails. I would. That's actually, like. That would be my recent 10.

[B]

The 13th.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're 13.

[A]

You and Chris are always throwing that out there. And I didn't think that was cool anymore to make 13th reason. I know, but I'm just saying.

[B]

You said your reason.

[A]

I know. I was trying.

[B]

You only need one.

[A]

Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

That's my exclusive reason.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. So you're doing all the boring renovation part and not giving people the payoff?

[B]

I would. I don't think it's boring.

[A]

Everyone comes to a renovation video for the reveal.

[B]

I.

[A]

We're not there for the journey. Like, we're there for the journey, but we're there to see the reveal.

[B]

Journey is me and my dad, which is super cute.

[A]

Different journeys.

[B]

Well, it also starts out rocky.

[A]

So it's gonna be weeks before we see the reveal.

[B]

No, just a week.

[A]

Okay, well, then, whatever, Whatever. What am I gonna do with you? Oh, my Pilates sucks.

[B]

Yeah, there's more to say about them.

[A]

Well, no, but when I was coming over. Okay, do you guys have CarPlay in your car?

[B]

Morgan texted me. Do I have to keep talking to you?

[A]

What? Do you just tell us what she wants?

[B]

Do I have to stay present while you discuss your pilates on the 4 seconds?

[A]

The socks aren't the story. What?

[B]

The story better be good if I'm gonna listen.

[A]

Okay, what does she want? Okay, let's see.

[B]

Well, we're talking about Summer. I turned pretty. Should we just get into something?

[A]

No, no, no. Just put it down.

[B]

Why do we have to talk about your socks?

[A]

FaceTime her in when we're talk.

[B]

Okay, Oscar, no.

[A]

Just put your phone down. We're just gonna cold call her.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

It's more fun that way.

[B]

That's abuse.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

Okay, if we're really gonna talk about your socks for 10 minutes, it has.

[A]

Nothing to do with my socks. The socks were just a reminder of the story.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. So I'm driving in today, and I have CarPlay on my phone. And so I go and I like, go through on through the car app, CarPlay. I hit play on a song inside of Spotify, but then it starts playing from my phone, not my car. No. This is, like, really concerning.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You're uninvited to the pool party.

[B]

Fine.

[A]

We don't want you there.

[B]

My son's throwing a rager.

[A]

Give me back my electrolytes.

[B]

I'll pee them all over.

[A]

And my protein bar, I want it back.

[B]

I'll throw them up on the walls.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And clean it up later.

[A]

So for some reason, all audio was coming straight through my. That I was playing in my car was coming straight through my phone. It's weird, right?

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

No, it's really weird.

[B]

You're so weird. That's so weird.

[A]

Okay, cut to. I'm in my Pilates class. I'm with my favorite teacher, the one that asked if I use my body for work. I'm trying to impress her because, like, I. I feel like she views me as advanced in the class, you know what I'm saying? So Like, I'm here to impress. It's. It's not a day that you can slack in your workout class. It's like, I'm showing off that I am the best, the physically most capable in this class. Sick. Because I want to impress her. And so there's, like, some weird fucking shit going on with the music in the studio.

[B]

And it's your phone.

[A]

It's, like, going really quiet and then really loud. And then, like, we're like. With 10 minutes left in the class, and the instructor finally says, where's this music coming from? Does somebody have music playing on their phone? And I was like, this is so annoying. Like, I thought somebody was being so rude. And I was like, well, just out of precaution. Let me check. And I look, and it's just Taylor Swift blasting from my phone on the ground in the studio. And everyone in the class is so annoyed at me. And these are all the Calabasas hot moms that are working out on Labor Day. And I was like, I could literally kill myself right now because it was so embarrassing. And they were all so annoyed. This has been going on the whole class. My music blasting over the music that's playing in the studio. And I was just like, oh, no. Oh, no.

[B]

Did you tell them?

[A]

I just turned it off and was like, what do I do now? I just looked around.

[B]

Did anyone look at you?

[A]

Yeah, they were all looking at me in a very.

[B]

And you said nothing. You didn't. You were like, sorry.

[A]

What am I supposed to do? And then after the classic, like, sorry.

[B]

About my phone, I would be like, oh, my God. That's my reason.

[A]

But it wasn't. It wasn't on when I walked into the studio. I would have known.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I don't know who's fucking with my phone from afar or it's ghosts, but, like, has your music ever just turned on?

[B]

Not like that.

[A]

And I had made sure that my phone was on silent and everything.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So it's like, on Labor Day on of all days. Okay, sorry. It wasn't that great for you guys.

[B]

It was. It wasn't that bad. But I do wish you had said something.

[A]

I feel like it was awful.

[B]

No, your story wasn't that bad. I was engaged. I laughed.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, what did you want to get to.

[B]

No, I was. Morgan texted me about somewhere I turned pretty.

[A]

We talked about it last night.

[B]

I know, but there's development, and I.

[A]

Was gonna watch it again. I was like, okay, okay. I sat down last night to go to bed and I was like, maybe I should turn it on since everyone's raving about the show. And I was just like, it's not good. Oh, well then why is everybody talking about it?

[B]

I don't know. But we're sick. It's who I am now. It's how I identify.

[A]

Okay, so what do you have to add?

[B]

I started.

[A]

Okay. Everyone gets mad when I say, keep your topics concise. Talk for as long as you want.

[B]

Thanks. Let's talk about your Pilates socks though.

[A]

You want some? Mm, they're pretty good.

[B]

Back to those. So I started from season one again after I finished the most recent episode.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because I needed more.

[A]

Conrad.

[B]

No, I needed more. I needed like more.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know what I mean? Like something about a girl brothers just gets me like right at the edge of my seat.

[A]

Wow, this is porno for all of you guys.

[B]

Kind of. It's like porno edging. Like emotional edging.

[A]

Well, did you ever hear Spencer's theory on what's that show everybody likes? The love show, Love Island.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

He was like, like I think it's just for like straight couples to get revved up cuz it's like porn that's not.

[B]

I've never seen it.

[A]

Well, it's just network porn.

[B]

But it's dumb people, right?

[A]

Well, I haven't seen. I couldn't tolerate more than four minutes of the show. It's intellectually it was straight people gyrating in slow motion.

[B]

I mean the clips I've seen is like a girl's trying to tell a guy that she's a mom and she's like, I'm a mom. He goes mamacita.

[A]

But Spencer's theory was like, like guys tolerate it because it gets their girlfriends kind of worked up and then it gets them in the mood to like. He was like, what about dumb boys?

[B]

Gets a girl worked up? We need to get like. I just. I'm so sick of people being like, I need a guy.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

It makes $190,000 a year on only.

[A]

I think it's like the porno of it all. I don't think it has to do with their.

[B]

No, but like I honestly think girls of the like girls of like the current like 20 something generation are like, I need a guy who makes a like a bunch of money with an illegitimate who's a meathead and he's gonna treat me wrong and he doesn't understand the difference between the theirs and that's the guy that I want to put a baby in me. Who's then gonna leave me a single mother? Like, that's what they're thinking. You know what I mean?

[A]

I will. Why?

[B]

I don't know why. That's what I'm. Probably because of Love Island.

[A]

I think that's inner. I think that's just porno. I think they're watching it as a porn. Like you're watching the Summer I Turn Pretty is porn.

[B]

I mean, I. Like, I.

[A]

Now who needs me?

[B]

Are you joking?

[A]

Hold on. It's. One second. Hello? Yes.

[B]

It's crazy, right? Oh, and he's giving me the finger. The one minute. No, just as long as my palm trees light up. How about that? He has multiple people working on Labor Day.

[A]

No, they. I think they do turn off.

[B]

He just didn't turn them on. He had a person come in on Labor Day for a bunch of trees that aren't on because he turned them off.

[A]

Crazy. The one that you installed.

[B]

I can taste the Caesar salad and French fries.

[A]

Dude, have you had the Caesar wrap from Giada?

[B]

I'm never gonna do a wrap.

[A]

Oh, I respect it. Nobody's been over there, nobody's touched it since you were there last, so that's really odd.

[B]

They're just literally off.

[A]

He's like.

[B]

That's really weird.

[A]

Do you want to hear something else?

[B]

This morning in my car. My car.

[A]

Okay. Are you able to rewire that?

[B]

Can you believe that?

[A]

Okay. No, nobody else has been there. The one. So on the far end of the property by the exit. Those ones do stay on. Yes, they do. Stop.

[B]

My sunburnt eyes hurt.

[A]

So perfect. Thank you so much. All right, bye. So you. What are you girls gossiping about?

[B]

You just literally turned them off, and then you had someone come back out.

[A]

To you property to flick a switch back? No, no, no, I did not.

[B]

No, no, no, no. It's crazy. So, no, here's the thing.

[A]

I'm kidding me.

[B]

I know. I was in Pilates.

[A]

I'm gonna be.

[B]

And I just. And the wildest thing happened. I flicked the switch and turned all my palm trees off because I was so mortified by, you know, my carplay and I. So I forgot to turn him back on. But it's okay because it's Labor Day. So I called a laborer out, and he came and he flipped the switch back on. So they're. They're on now. They're on now. It's fine.

[A]

There's like eight different sections, and he was saying one is wired wrong, so they're on 24. Seven. This is a. He's he's going through all of them while he's there. I said, can you make sure you're going to call.

[B]

Call us for every quadrant of your property?

[A]

I want to make sure that they're on from 7:00pm to 1:00am Great. All.

[B]

All.

[A]

Yeah, all the whole property.

[B]

Is he gonna call you for the next question?

[A]

I'm sure.

[B]

Great. So let's wrap this up.

[A]

Listen, when your vet called the other week, we sat in a car rolling. We sat in a car for 20 minutes while you were Chris. It was not 20 call Shane Spencer.

[B]

It was not 20.

[A]

Every time you've ever had to take a call in the podcast.

[B]

Also a vet, me, because of my dog's emergency health situation is a little bit more pressing than your palm trees that won't light up. So you call a man to come in on a holiday.

[A]

He's working at the house. You want me to just leave him sitting there on Labor Day?

[B]

No, I suppose you're right.

[A]

Here's the problem.

[B]

I would have tomorrow.

[A]

My assistant didn't come into work today, and the laborer is wanting to work on Labor Day because he's a full time electrician elsewhere. And so this, this is an additional side job that he wants. So he said, I would like to come on Labor Day.

[B]

Here's what I think.

[A]

I'm not forcing people to come to work on Labor Day, Chris. I told you you could have the day off. Lizzie gaslit me and said she wanted to work and then acted like she doesn't want to be at work.

[B]

I made a joke about work. I made a work related joke.

[A]

I would have gladly taken the day off.

[B]

Listen, I was gonna say something and you made me forget it.

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[B]

It was gonna be good too.

[A]

Okay, so back to the summer I turned pretty.

[B]

Should I call Morgan?

[A]

What do you guys have to say?

[B]

I don't know. You won't let me read it because you're on the phone with your laborer. Oh, that's what I was gonna say. The world needs more electricians and less soundcloud rappers. So if you're out in these streets and your goal in life is to go on Love Island. Stop it. Go to trade school.

[A]

And how.

[B]

Get a job that helps the world and makes everything a better place. Place. Be a plumber.

[A]

I have a question.

[B]

No. You too. You need to go to trade school.

[A]

How would have the world ever gotten this message? Had my electrician not called just now.

[B]

To go to trade school, you would.

[A]

Have never delivered this message had he not called and now you've done the world a service. You're saving us.

[B]

All of them are behind their computer screens. Like, why don't you go to trade school, you stupid. And here's why. Because I can't read.

[A]

She also can't operate basic electronics.

[B]

You don't want me going to trade school. I'm a fucking idiot. God. Stupid.

[A]

But she will tell you to go to trade school.

[B]

Because I can't do it. Because I can't.

[A]

Okay, so Taylor Swift's engaged.

[B]

Oh. What?

[A]

Well, I'm glad you know about that because you didn't know about Sabrina. Lizzie literally texted me last night at 9pm Sabrina's album is how. And I was like, yeah, I know. It's been three days.

[B]

Three. Oh, fudge you.

[A]

That's a long time.

[B]

I'm a mother with sunburnt eyes. When would I have known the phone addiction. How would you. I told to break my phone addiction. I'm not allowed to be on my phone. And then everyone's mad at me for not being on my phone and then everyone else is on their phone.

[A]

So what are you implementing to break your phone addiction?

[B]

I'm just putting it down and hating everyone around me and taking you guys all in raw dog. Do you think I give a. About anything any of you have ever had to say? No, but I can sit there and I can go. Go nice. Crazy. You know what I mean? And you all feel seen and heard and loved.

[A]

I don't know that I've. I don't know about that with you.

[B]

No, you're the one who texted the group chat when we were all like, taylor's engaged. You were like, that's crazy. I. I think, I think you literally said, that's crazy.

[A]

I'm not gonna.

[B]

I think you literally said, wow, that's crazy. As if we were at a water cooler telling you about our families that you don't give a about.

[A]

I didn't think it was gonna go the distance. And so she's proved me wrong. And if they thought it was fake, I didn't think it was fake. I think that they had common commonalities, and I think that they definitely have some lust there that probably turned into love. But I didn't know that this relationship was going to stand the test of time.

[B]

He matches her freak and lets her flag fly. And he is not intimidated by a woman who is the most powerful woman in the world.

[A]

Oh, terror Taylor. Yeah, right.

[B]

And I love that about him because he's also such a man physically and like, mentally, because He's a little bit dim.

[A]

Okay. Whoa.

[B]

So it's.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

It's probably.

[A]

That's the rudest thing anyone's ever said about this couple on this podcast. And oh, Shane must be at work, so don't scream. He's already worried about the way that you were screaming last.

[B]

Oh, really? Did you guys get complaints?

[A]

Spencer told on you.

[B]

Spencer ratted on me? Are you kidding?

[A]

Oh, somebody read. Maybe it wasn't Spencer. Why now? I ratted on Spencer. Spencer, somebody decided to tell on you.

[B]

Is Spencer here? Right?

[A]

There was proof. Oh, is it Spencer?

[B]

There's proof?

[A]

I mean, yes. Where's the proof? Last week.

[B]

Why are you on the podcast all ratting on me? It's like you're wearing wires or something. It's like this is recorded and you're just ratting on.

[A]

You know, I appreciated that segment and so did the audience. I know you're not looking at comments right now, but they loved it. They loved it.

[B]

Hey, guys, I got my passport.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

Still no driver's license.

[A]

Where are we gonna go with that passport?

[B]

I need. You want to take a Disney cruise? I hear that's pretty g with babies.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, because you don't have to bring a bunch of stuff from you. They just lend like with you. They just lend it to you.

[A]

Did they go out of California or do we have to fly to Florida?

[B]

Go out of California.

[A]

I'm in.

[B]

Where do we do? Should we go before gets here? Oh, man, what time is it? We just gotta tell everyone this kid's name.

[A]

No, you don't want to do that.

[B]

Do we need a clickbait for today? Can we just go get Caesar salad?

[A]

Then we don't have to eat Lizzy's baby name reveal. Let's bleep it for now. Let's give that to you for your vlog. Okay, okay, okay. Let's. Let's let.

[B]

I still have never told them Billy's full name.

[A]

Billy Bob.

[B]

Billy Bob.

[A]

Billy Bob, period. Billy, do you have ringworm?

[B]

Yeah, I got it from you.

[A]

Cute. Cool that they're engaged.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Congratulations.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

That's really cool. Millie Bobby Brown and her husband adopted a baby girl. And the Internet groans.

[B]

Yeah, the Internet cannot leave Millie Bobby Brown alone.

[A]

They can't? No.

[B]

The Internet is shockingly nasty. Let her live.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's 21. Jon Bon Jovi's son is hot. I.

[A]

That's who she's with.

[B]

Yeah, but what's his name? Like Jack Bon Jovi?

[A]

I don't know. Or is it also John okay, these are in quotes. She's a trad wife, but she's too confident to mess with.

[B]

No. So the Internet is, like, trying to drag her and acting like her doing all these things at such a young age makes her a trad wife. Or like the. They're claiming that the word trad wife is.

[A]

They're upset that she's living her life.

[B]

Yeah, that's my point.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

No, it's insane.

[A]

Have you ever been to Utah? Utah. They're all. They all have three kids by 21. She's late.

[B]

Yeah. Wait, no. And the other thing is, just because.

[A]

She lives in Hollywood doesn't mean she needs to win.

[B]

It is Jake.

[A]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

Well, I was joking.

[A]

He's hot. He is.

[B]

Yeah, he is. He's hot.

[A]

All right, let me Google them.

[B]

She's hot as, too. So they adopted a baby girl. She. She looks super happy.

[A]

And I did see.

[B]

I also love Millie Bobby Brown because she will rescue any animal she walks by, which is awesome.

[A]

And she said her mom had her at a super young age and her connection was special. I'm making anything up outside of that, but it's just. I heard she said her mom had her when she was younger.

[B]

Her mom was, like, 20. Her dad was 19, and she's always wanted to be a young mom. And honestly, dude, this girl is full of love and she's constantly rescuing animals. Animals. She lives on a farm in Georgia, has 30 dogs.

[A]

Well, she's normal. Like, she's not just, like, in la.

[B]

And she's hot as.

[A]

Oh, wow. Yeah, they're a very cute couple.

[B]

They're hot.

[A]

They're like the hottest couple in Georgia. No, they're hot and they're just out on a farm looking that beautiful. 30 dogs with, like a million acres and nobody to run into.

[B]

She. I was listening to her talk about this dog that she rescued that she started calling Rigor. Like, short for rigamorph artist. Because he's so old. She just assumed she would take him in and he would pass.

[A]

Look at that.

[B]

And she's like, he's been here for four years. He's living his best life. He's reverse aging. No, I know. They're so hot.

[A]

Wow. They're both beautiful.

[B]

Let me see.

[A]

Good for them.

[B]

Yeah. And Jake looks like he does something, but I don't know that he does.

[A]

Oh, you like? He looks like he's employed.

[B]

He just looks like an official person.

[A]

He's. He's got a rich dad and a rich wife. So are they Married.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good for them.

[B]

And they gave them for getting married, too. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

They're doing much more than you, period. Not you, but whoever's.

[B]

Who, the haters.

[A]

I mean, I. It's. She's doing much more than 90% of the world, so it's safe to say she's doing much more than all doing.

[B]

Something nefarious or nasty or bad. She's married with a kid. You know what's crazy? You. You're crazy.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So, yeah, I just wanted to give Millie her flowers.

[A]

Cardi. Oh, what is going on with Cardi B? Court situation.

[B]

Cardi B. Is in court under a woman, a security guard, I believe, at her gynecologist is claiming that Cardi scratched her on the face, spit on her, and called her names. And Cardi's like, I did not do any of those things. Oh. She's like, I called her A. But Cardi, like, was showing up to the OBGYN appointments, and the security guard goes, oh, my God, it's Cardi B. And pulled out her phone and started filming Cardi. And Cardi was like, don't do that. Like, the world doesn't know I'm pregnant.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Also, you're the security guard. What are you doing? Like, what the. And so got like, you know, and Cardi's flamboyant and loud, and she got loud at her. And the woman is now, like, conflating it and alleging that she was stricken by one of Cardi's three inch long nails and like, iconic, kind of. No, for real. But the court, like, the plaintiff's lawyer is out of pocket. He's asking wild questions. Like, Cardi comes to court with different colored hair and he's like, oh, like yesterday your hair was black, today it's blonde. Like, which. Which is it? Which one is it?

[A]

It's like. It's a wig.

[B]

No, that's what she said. That's what she said. And she like, she. Because you know Cardi's gonna Cardi wherever she is.

[A]

You can't take Cardi out of Cardi or Lizzie out of Lizzie.

[B]

No, we are. Who we are is a wig bitch. He's like, did you call her fashion? I didn't call her fat. I called her A, though. And then like, some. I don't know, something else, which.

[A]

It was pretty behavior to film a pregnant person that isn't outward to the world, period. You can't just.

[B]

No.

[A]

Whip out your phone and film any pregnant person or any celebrity or not.

[B]

Celebrity or not, you must ask. I asked before I Take pictures of people's dogs.

[A]

You do.

[B]

I should probably stop asking though. It's really weird.

[A]

You should probably just stop taking pictures.

[B]

Well, that's what I meant that like I don't need that picture. Just he was a cutie, you know, so I wanted to remember him. And at one point the lawyer's like, God, I don't remember what he even said to provoke this. But he's like, why did you, like, what made you say this or that or something? And she goes like, look at her. Gestures at the woman like, does Cardi.

[A]

Not have a lawyer? No, she's just Rob.

[B]

Like Cardi's literally like, it's so funny. Like it's so crazy. It's like, honestly, that's how I want to respond to things all the time now what? He's like, why did you get all heated? She's like, because I was pregnant and I was worried that someone was going to kick my ass. Ass. It's like, that's fair, dude. That is fair.

[A]

She going to win.

[B]

She better. Cuz they have another person who's coming in and like an eyewitness to the event. The receptionist is an eyewitness to the event. And she goes, they're asking her like did Cardi hit her? And she's like, no. Did Cardi say these words? And she's like, yeah, no. And I'm like, well, it's all on the record. Don't say, yeah, no.

[A]

Probably camera too.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. So it's all. It's stupid. And I hope Cardi wins because this is absurd. I for like $24 million or something.

[A]

That's so annoying that somebody can take somebody's time and energy like that. Cardi has a million K. Three kids, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She has three kids, busy career. And this woman is taking her time and energy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Into court. Okay. Okay. Anything else?

[B]

I don't know. Can I see the little paper tan traver engaged. Check.

[A]

Well, these are. I was looking at the advice.

[B]

Oh, you wouldn't let me talk about the summer I turn pretty.

[A]

It's just. What else do you have to say? Really?

[B]

Well, here's the deal. So I started rewatching from season one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And before that I was on Amazon Googling Team Conrad shirts for my 11 month old. They don't exist. Can someone get on that? I would really like to put Billy in a Team Connie shirt shirt.

[A]

This is bad hair man.

[B]

No. Yes. Well, they're both bad hair men.

[A]

Oh, whoa.

[B]

Listen.

[A]

Shots fire. Period.

[B]

So I started re Watching from season one. And like, honestly, Joe watches with me and he's like, why is she with this guy Jeremiah?

[A]

He's invested, dude.

[B]

Everyone online is like, jeremiah is a fool. And then the new episode comes out.

[A]

And you're just like, just leave both of them.

[B]

She should. She should stop bothering this family. She needs to leave this family alone. Belly's the real villain. But I started watching from season one, and my allegiance is with Jer in season one. In season one, I'm like, connie is a psychopath and I am team Jer.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What is that about? What is that about?

[A]

I haven't seen any of it, so I. I can't tell you why.

[B]

I text Morgan, and you were like. And then I was like, let me call Morgan. You're like, no, we spent all the call time we make. I was doing my trees.

[A]

You're really. I need to get to the root of why that bothers you so much. You don't want my palm trees to be lit. What's your problem?

[B]

You. You opened the show with giving me shit about being addicted to my phone and constantly checking it and then took three phone calls.

[A]

I have a pressing matter at my house without.

[B]

I. When my nanny texts me, I want to make sure my child is not.

[A]

Dying, Nanny says nothing but like. But how could I know?

[B]

How could I know unless I just briefly looked instead of taking a five minute phone call.

[A]

Your husband's home.

[B]

Yeah, that's fine, but still, I'm going to check that too.

[A]

Your nann could just go. But your husband.

[B]

Oh, no, my. My husband's not home when she's there. Oh, he works on Mondays.

[A]

James is home.

[B]

Yeah, but where is he? Eating squirrels playing Snow white in the backyard?

[A]

No, he's busy playing Snow White in the backyard. Okay, girls, well, we're going to go try some pumpkin flavored things at McDonald's.

[B]

But first we're going to get Caesar salads.

[A]

What do you mean? Oh, we could go. Go eat first. We could do the afters at first.

[B]

Okay, cool.

[A]

And get food.

[B]

Food sustenance and some french fries.

[A]

For the sip. We're gonna do. There's a pumpkin pie, McFlurry hack. And then we're gonna try the pumpkin pie, which I think we've had, like eight years in a row. But I'll. We'll probably be like, we've never had this before.

[B]

You know what I've never tried?

[A]

What?

[B]

A McChicken. That's a joke, you idiot. Let's go.

[A]

Wait, you have tried one.

[B]

No, I've never tried one and I'm never going to.

[A]

Then why is it a joke?

[B]

Hang up the call.

[A]

Why is it a joke Then why is it a joke?

[B]

Joke.

[A]

Chris.

[B]

This is why I had to come to work today. Cuz I tell things like that that are super jokes that Helen Keller a mile away could be laughing at.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

And my best friend over here is clueless.

[A]

So you have had a McChicken.

[B]

Is this a joke? Are you playing on Joke on me? Are you joking at me?

[A]

Oh, oh, oh. I've just caught up. I just caught up. You want to bring that back to the world?

[B]

No. I'll see you in the car.

[A]

I had something to say, Liz. When I was like, should we do the Starbucks menu or should we go to McDonald's? And Lizzy was like, well, the intern very pleased that Starbucks and Taylor Swift's engaged is back.

[B]

And I was like, no, that pumpkin spice lattes.

[A]

Pumpkin spice lattes are back in Taylor Swift's engaged.

[B]

Yeah. It's like two things are right in the world, you know, like they go.

[A]

Together, but they don't go together.

[B]

No, they do go together. They do go together.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

No, Taylor Swift literally wrote a poem. She's like. And pumpkin spice lattes. Wait, she likes tights. I'm getting in the car.

[A]

She likes them.

[B]

No, I will see you.

[A]

I can't imagine ever happen. Bad one.

[B]

She loves them.

[A]

How do you know?

[B]

And pumpkin spice.

[A]

Does she wear them with her red.

[B]

Scarfs that are made of wool, like things like that? She loves this season. This. This is her season.

[A]

Okay. All right, bye.

[B]

I have to pee.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

Well, I'm peeing first.

[A]

Well, there's three bathrooms here.

[B]

I'm peeing in all three.

[A]

Let me see what my lighting guy needs. Nothing.

[B]

Goodbye.

[A]

It wasn't every quadrant.

[B]

Can't affirm my.

[A]

Okay, this is going. What's going on?

[B]

You're turning the air off.

[A]

Well, just down. Okay. Hey, girls, and welcome back to the sip. So is this gonna get your face? No, I turned it off. Face on. Come on, Chris.

[B]

Come on, Chris.

[A]

One, two, three. Okay. Okay, if I just pull my boobs.

[B]

Out, is the episode over?

[A]

Can you.

[B]

I'm so white.

[A]

You need to come back to life. Come back to life.

[B]

I'm trying, but like, I'm a. I'm a good ghost.

[A]

Two, take one. Common mark. Hey, girls. How you doing?

[B]

Is everybody full of life?

[A]

Lizzy just made us overdose on food. Normally we eat what we're going to eat for the sip and then we'll go enjoy a nice lunch. But today Lizzy was like, I'm hungry. Let's eat first. But now we're dying.

[B]

We're not going.

[A]

And it's 108° outside, which is criminal. And it's a holiday and it's like, who's going to pay me time and half?

[B]

Half?

[A]

No one.

[B]

Well, we're only giving half effort going forward. No one's being paid to perform on a holiday at. At the level of which he expects.

[A]

Do you think you should.

[B]

Last night I tried to uber eat some McDonald's.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I go, shh. I had a craving. Okay. I'm not.

[A]

No, I'm not judging. I'm just saying, like, okay, literally went, whoa. Cuz it's just ironic that we're here again. What you get Penelope truth going to McDonald's? What is her name?

[B]

It's not even the other Penelope. You think Disick anyway. Do you think she would think.

[A]

Who's Penelope Cruz anyways?

[B]

Got fake Scott Disick and fake Penelope Cruz who's. Oh, her dad.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Scott Disick's her dad.

[A]

No, I know. Oh, okay, okay. So name one Penelope Cruz movie. Zorro. Okay. Never heard of him. Was Antonio Banara. Elizabeth, what were you to do? Trying. Okay, Elizabeth whips out her phone. She doordashes.

[B]

Or no, I Google eats. No, I Uber eats. But I Uber eats. But we already discussed. I'm not good at technology.

[A]

So tell us the story.

[B]

I'm trying.

[A]

This is like my grippy sock story.

[B]

It is a little bit. So I go and I pick a Quarter pounder meal. Guess how much that was. 21. What in the button? The icon I picked had that milkshake icon on it. And Joe. And the only options for drink were milkshakes. So he's like, you just accidentally picked one. That's just a milkshake option. But there's some milkshake going down at McDonald's right now that we didn't get in on.

[A]

Oh, I think I tried this on the office party podcast. It's disgusting.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

It's just disgusting. But what is it disgusting?

[B]

What is it called?

[A]

Well, I'm not going to know until we get up.

[B]

Purple guy milkshake that you and I made a TikTok about the purple.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

I never posted my Tik Toks.

[A]

Wait, what?

[B]

Those Tik Toks we filmed. I never. I never posted them on Tik Tok.

[A]

You should, you should post that right now as like Grimace. Cuz that was like Grimace's birthday. You should post it now just like. I'm so excited that Grimace's milkshake is out. And just post it like nothing had ever happened.

[B]

Film them in a way that's compatible with TikTok it.

[A]

What is the flavor of that?

[B]

Oh, what is it that?

[A]

It was so disgusting.

[B]

Can we get it?

[A]

Oh, you can do my phone.

[B]

Can we get it?

[A]

Oh, and the snack wrap is back. So we're here trying the pumpkin menu items at McDonald's and maybe that yucky milkshake and the smart girl hack that. I will get one of the milkshakes just for all of you to try as well. But Shane had told me that you could get a pumpkin McFlurry by getting their pumpkin syrup pumped into the McFlurry for their pumpkin also, which is.

[B]

We have the secret menu.

[A]

Hello. No, thank you. Could I get. Do you have the pumpkin pies? Okay, could I get two of those? Okay, what else? And then could I get two McFlurries Oreo? And could. Do you have the pumpkin syrup for the pumpkin latte? No, sorry, you don't. Okay, pie and one Oreo McFlurry. Let's do three pumpkin pies then. Three. Yes. And one Oreo McFlurry. Yes. And then can I get. What's the new McFlurry? That pink one or the new ice shake? The shake. Can I get one small one of those, too?

[B]

Wait, ask him if he can break up a pumpkin piece pie into a mc.

[A]

We're going to do that.

[B]

No, but they have a McClure machine. Just ask if you can do it.

[A]

Oh, okay. Crazy question. Are you able to put the pumpkin pie in the McFlurry? Are you able to put a pumpkin pie in the McFlurry? Like before you mix it? No. Sorry. Okay, no worries. I'll do it myself. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. What if you guys.

[B]

No, you can't talk.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Well, some of the McDonald's have, like, their pumpkin spice lattes. So you could just pump the syrup into it and then they would mix it. Could you just get a latte and that.

[B]

They don't have the syrup.

[A]

We need the pun. Yeah, they're not selling the pumpkin.

[B]

Girl, it is 108 degrees, I am pregnant, and you just turn the air off again.

[A]

Okay, well, my sunglasses are falling. Imagine how hard my life is. Also, I'm stupid. I said a movie that she's not in.

[B]

I figured as much.

[A]

Oh, wait, did he say first or second window? Second. She's in. Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I said zorro. Who's Zorro? So you're not Catherine Zeta Jones? You're not a fan? Oh, I'm just stupid. I saw these movies when I was like, four.

[B]

What is Captain?

[A]

Did they say to go to the second window or the first?

[B]

Penelope Cruz in Fool's Russian.

[A]

We need everyone to focus.

[B]

What was that?

[A]

What is this? What is this? What is.

[B]

Do you see this?

[A]

What's going on?

[B]

They're superhero above us.

[A]

What the. What is it?

[B]

Oh, it's just the wind and a flag, but it really looks like a superhero is just stuck in something above us. And that escape. You need to go to the second window.

[A]

I'm gonna. I asked you through.

[B]

The employee is literally outside the window holding the bag. Where are you at? I asked you specifically for second window.

[A]

I'm so sorry. Oh, two Oreo McFlurries.

[B]

Well, you did agree to one. At the end of the day, what do you want from me?

[A]

Lizzie has given any pumpkin drink that you can order.

[B]

Yuck.

[A]

No, thank you. You know what I mean. Just something pumpkin. But yuck.

[B]

I know anything that is really desperate.

[A]

So do pumpkin spice lattes come soon? Yes, they do. Okay, thank you. So we just were too early for the pumpkin spice latte to get the.

[B]

The syrup.

[A]

But when all of you go to McDonald's, just get that mixed in. All right? Yeah, do it and tell us how it tastes. So I got one's for each McFlurry, and then one's just for us to try. Oh, so did you get one of these when you Uber eats last night? You didn't?

[B]

No, I just got my quarter pounder meal for $119.

[A]

I know you've said we've tried this a billion times, but I feel like every time it's the first. Oh, thank you.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Nobody knows. Whoa.

[B]

Disgusting looking.

[A]

Whoa. You guys should try it before you see what flavor it is. It looks exactly like the flyer, though. I guess I should ask for another cup so Chris can get some of that. They delivered all the visuals. Should I just pull this out right now, or you just get a spoon? I could just. Oh, I broke it before I showed it. Here you go, Chris. Whatever. You guys know What a freaking McDonald's pie looks like?

[B]

Oh, my God. Being nasty with them. Is there cream cheese and pumpkin?

[A]

No. Is it cream cheese and pumpkin? Thank you.

[B]

I don't need it.

[A]

Oh, I probably need one more. You don't need it?

[B]

I don't need it.

[A]

Thank you. Could I get one more little cup, please? Yeah. This is yours. First oh, thank you. Thank you. Have a good day. Okay, here we go. I don't want to burn my tongue on this, which is something I historically do because I don't have the patience. Oh, this is not a Harry Potter cry.

[B]

I'm doing fall sounds.

[A]

This what Harry Potter means fall to you? Tell me how these dogs up. I'm going to smash this pumpkin pie in your face. Do it.

[B]

Let's see how.

[A]

Not another McDonald's scandal. We just. I guess maybe we shouldn't be coming to McDonald's. It always ends in scandal for us. Oh, I can't be looking directly into them, huh?

[B]

I think they're on a backpacking mission too, because they're both.

[A]

What are you doing? I'm trying to. I'm trying to pivot. I was going to be parking like.

[B]

That for, like a shark with these people.

[A]

Okay, well, circling them and getting really. Maybe. Maybe I'm saving her. Honestly, it doesn't. Maybe she needs my help.

[B]

Honestly, I just. I don't understand why couples continue to do backpacking trips to cross country.

[A]

How come everywhere I want to park is looking straight into somebody else that is eating McDonald's. I like this. Is this lighting good? How am I ever gonna park?

[B]

This is good.

[A]

I don't think that it was.

[B]

No, it was. And now my arm is burned. Burning.

[A]

It sucks, huh?

[B]

Yeah, sucks. Your asthma, piggy. This sucks. My boobs look insane.

[A]

Are we ever gonna be able to just eat all our McFlurries?

[B]

I thought that way. You did good.

[A]

I thought, oh, now they're leaving after. Oh, I could.

[B]

Their car is decorated like a ladybug.

[A]

I could kill them.

[B]

They're probably gonna kill each other.

[A]

I literally had the perfect spot next to them. But then I didn't want to be interrupt their fucking. The mid murder that's about to happen.

[B]

I was trying to find her own business.

[A]

And that's the last time that car.

[B]

Because it's making it worse.

[A]

That's the last time that car was seen before the Netflix documentary. Oh, my God.

[B]

And then we'll be in the documentary because we have it in our footage. We're gonna be that couple.

[A]

All right. Chris eating this before? No, I don't either.

[B]

Wasn't it with Vicky and Morgan?

[A]

Probably.

[B]

The way you stick your tongue in at first is wild.

[A]

He makes you want something else of yours, huh?

[B]

He holds it like this. You guys goes tongue first, then. Then teeth.

[A]

This is the only like.

[B]

Like that vagina.

[A]

Ish thing I have. You're not gonna have any, right?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

After. Oh, God, it's so gross what you're doing.

[A]

You really need the cream cheese to balance the pumpkin pie puree.

[B]

And you can only get it if you stick your tongue deep in first.

[A]

Honestly, it. It's so good. Bucks. This is better than anything we had at that steakhouse that we just ate at.

[B]

Is there pumpkin pie here?

[A]

This was 24. The steakhouse we went to was almost 300. And this is a way better time. Oh, my gosh. A great McDonald's. Okay, I want to say. Are you gonna say this? Oh, this is so good. Do we have a spoon for you to get some of this? Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I got you another.

[B]

I think I passed. We passed the spoon back, but you can have that. Whoa.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Way to go, Chris. Now it looks like I threw a spoon at you.

[A]

Not at McDonald's.

[B]

Cut that out. We're rehanding the spoon. Here you go, Chris.

[A]

That's so nice of you, Elizabeth. Okay, let's see. Are there.

[B]

I got one in my snatch.

[A]

You got a spoon in your snatch?

[B]

You gotta pull it out with your tongue first, though.

[A]

I swear he gave us an extra cup. I handed it back to you. Did he not give it?

[B]

I would bet my life on you handing a spoon.

[A]

I know. There's a knife. That's all we need, right?

[B]

That's all we need.

[A]

That's fine.

[B]

A knife, a bunch of ranch, and a grip of cash. Hey, go back to my friend.

[A]

Well, you can use the spoon to get. Oh, wait, are there not even two spoons?

[B]

No, there were two spoons. That's why I feel gaslit. Oh, no, I'm positive there's two spoons.

[A]

How are we gonna eat?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, that's fine.

[B]

What are you doing on your clothes?

[A]

Everywhere.

[B]

Wait, you don't have to. Why are you doing it like that?

[A]

You should have some, too. It's really not working out for me.

[B]

Oh, you could have had the whole thing.

[A]

Chris, we got this because you wanted to try it. And you're trying. Looks beautiful. It's all over the place.

[B]

I. I don't want to try it. Are you kidding? I got it for you. Really yucky.

[A]

Wait, why do I like it?

[B]

Oh, good. You. I haven't tried it yet.

[A]

Whatever. I'm gonna try it. I've already tried it.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Napkins by any chance?

[B]

No, just ranches and money.

[A]

No, there's gotta be napkins. There's napkins. It's everywhere. It tastes like the bubble gum from when you were a kid.

[B]

Oh, I'd rather die.

[A]

Like the blue raspberry bubble. Yeah, like, that came in the big cubes. Oh, I. It reminded me of the. When you said that. The, like, one that came out like. Yeah. The ones that reminds me more are the ones you individually wrap that are like. What is the function of this to be disgusting?

[B]

I want to pour the rest of it out.

[A]

Am I sick? Because I love it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't hate. Hate it. I just couldn't consume a whole thing of it.

[B]

I'm just gonna pour the spoonful out.

[A]

Here's this for you, Chris. So you just have to break it up in tiny pieces and mix it into the McFlurry. Don't it up.

[B]

Dump it up.

[A]

I probably will. Did you see what just happened with the drink? Since when are we getting McFlurries like this?

[B]

The economy is down, man.

[A]

Okay? Period.

[B]

Houses aren't selling. We're about to be in a major crisis.

[A]

Well, houses aren't selling because interest rates make it unaffordable. And it's more. It's. You should just rent because it's. Whatever. Okay, so we're breaking up the pumpkin pie.

[B]

We're breaking up.

[A]

I would really like to chop it a lot more finely than this.

[B]

I wish you would put your tongue in it first before you put it in.

[A]

Right. You know, I can make that happen. Can you hold this?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You want me to put my tongue in it? No, no. I'm creating a tray so that I can cut this. Okay. Put it back.

[B]

What is he, MacGyver? PGyver.

[A]

What you do, Chris? Why am I like that? How do you guys do things so neatly? We don't. Okay. This is crazy. I'm gonna keep chopping. Don't worry.

[B]

Oh, I'm not worried about it.

[A]

Oh. Oh, the cars. Hate to see the sip coming.

[B]

They're all groaning. This is so gross.

[A]

Can you film this with your. With my phone? Oh, my God. My ass also feels oddly wet, so it feels like some juice. Oh, this is working well, actually, Chris, I'll hand back the knife after this. I'm just chopping it amongst the sides. We're having fun, though.

[B]

No, we're all having a great time. We're making potions. We're casting spells. Okay, this works because it's fall. No, no, no.

[A]

So I would just say, like, against the side. Oh, this is how you want me to eat off this food? Show it on your sweaty inner.

[B]

I can't do this anymore. I just can't do it anymore. I honestly don't.

[A]

I don't know that I could do that.

[B]

I'm so sorry. You're right in the cringe, Chase. It hurts. There's some soft.

[A]

Can we not have one more fucking.

[B]

Spoon in this car? Yeah. The knife.

[A]

I'll eat it with the knife.

[B]

Oh God. I'm so sorry.

[A]

You sick bitch.

[B]

Chucked it into my shorts. It was deep inside my shorts. I don't know why I did that.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And the first one was hidden under my belly and I couldn't see it. Oh yeah. Thumbnail.

[A]

Get up close, Lizzy.

[B]

I am.

[A]

I'm trying it. Physical pain. Honestly, delicious it. And you wouldn't think the Oreo would be a good combination.

[B]

I would.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oreo pumpkin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Honestly, delish.

[A]

The pie crust inside of a McFlurry is something we all needed.

[B]

If they should be making this, they should apologize to us and then pay us for it. For the IP and this isn't what.

[A]

I was expecting cuz we were going to do the pumpkin syrup. But I would rather the pie than the syrup because I'm not big into this. Like the.

[B]

The pumpkin syrup tastes like farts and chemicals and farts. Chemical farts.

[A]

This. This is incredible. Actually. This is so good.

[B]

I love that for you guys.

[A]

This might be one of the best versions of a McFlurry I've ever had.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[A]

The crust, really, I mean it's like.

[B]

But instead they're making this bubble gum stuff like get out of here. McDonald's make a better choice.

[A]

This really is like Thanksgiving. It's your pumpkin pie with your ice cream. But the. The ratios are better because you have more ice cream than pie. It's a no brainer. You know, it's not to close clocking to McDonald's.

[B]

They're not standing on business clocking to McDonald's.

[A]

But what I will give them is. And all of you, we should be having two times the amount of ice cream to one times the amount of pie. Yeah.

[B]

What?

[A]

No, I don't.

[B]

It was too much math. Also, these are very hot on my thighs.

[A]

I'm saying when we're eating pie and ice cream cream. Yeah. There should be more ice cream than pie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's not.

[B]

You know what? I do eat this. I make vanilla pie. Vanilla ice cream with a little bit of pumpkin pie from Costco. And I mix it all together like a McFlurry. And it's delicious.

[A]

You don't want to bite? No.

[B]

I feel like I'm already super unwell and I have to go home and work more.

[A]

What?

[B]

I know. I have to watch down my voice.

[A]

Vlog that somebody else edited for you. What a chore. Okay. I love a crunch in my dessert. Like I love. I love like pralines and cream. I love a crunch in my pralines and cream.

[B]

Sounds pretty gay.

[A]

I like a soft crunch. I don't praline. I don't like. Like when we did the gummy bear that. I don't like the hard. Like I like a soft, chewy crunch in my ice cream. Okay. Gummy bear is not supposed to be hard.

[B]

I like a hard gummy bar on that screen.

[A]

Okay. I'm gonna try to get this back to Shane so you can take one bite before it melts all the way.

[B]

Oh no. I didn't even get him a diet Coke.

[A]

Oh no. I. He had just postmated one to the office. I brought it in the hat in the in for him.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

When we got there. But I realized last week we didn't outro the sip. So I'm gonna do that now and then I'll let Shane have one last little taste bite after that. But you guys, thank you for hanging out with us.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Even though it's a holiday, I had a lot of fun. Honestly, this felt like a party and.

[B]

I'm exhausted from it.

[A]

Yes, we raged too hard, too close.

[B]

To the sun, too close. We got our eyes burnt.

[A]

It's now 109 degrees.

[B]

It's 109 and you're keeping the AC.

[A]

On low for filming. Per. It's literally the fan speed is 4. That's like higher than midway. Okay. And the windshield wiper. All right, thank you guys so much. Everyone's links are in the description section below. We love you and we'll see you next week. Goodbye. And that's the sip. I don't know how to turn off the freaking windshield wipers in this car. Bye. Sorry, I'm all sweaty.

[C]

I was on the walking pad. Are you sure you guys make Chris cry.

[A]

Yeah, we've been bullying. Well, we probably made him cry from laughing. We were wild at McDonald's just now.

[C]

Follow me to a mirror, cuz I need to see what's happening.

[A]

Well, no, it's fine.

[B]

You would never be okay with that.

[A]

Here, I'll get the Alex Earl light out while we're waiting. She like made this light popular. Okay, babes. Come sit here, babes. Okay, it's a little. It's 106 degrees outside, so you got to stir down to where it's a little more.

[C]

Did they have the pumpkin syrup?

[A]

No, but I've decided it's better this way.

[C]

Oh, well, you haven't tried the Persia with pumpkin syrup.

[A]

No, but I don't like. I don't like syrups. And the. The cakey or the pie element. I just think everyone should change how they're doing pie now. I think this is better than Thanksgiving because you get more ice cream than pie, and I think the ratios are right. Wow.

[C]

Mm.

[A]

Okay. Chris and I both gave it above a 10 out of 10. Really?

[B]

A knife or a spoon?

[A]

I gave him a new spoon from the kitchen.

[C]

Okay, well, I want to make sure I get a piece of everything. All right, so a little pie chunk.

[A]

Little Oreo chunk. Do you like pumpkin pie in general?

[C]

I love pumpkin pie. I will say Oreo McFlurry is my least favorite.

[A]

And that's what I said. I said the Oreo is a little weird to be with pumpkin. And Lizzy was like, no, it's not.

[C]

Well, no, I'm not worried about that. I just. I like an m and m McFlurry, but.

[B]

Oh, so do I. Shane.

[A]

That's the crunchy heart I was talking about. I hate Shane.

[B]

Do you like the gummy bear and ice cream?

[C]

I feel sad because I feel like you do, and I'm gonna have to disagree with you, but I could lie.

[A]

Okay. What do you think of this, though? Hold on. You guys are sick with the M and M's. That's a. That's candy that gets rock hard, and it's disgusting.

[C]

I wish it was straight stronger. I wish there was more pumpkin flavor. I feel like maybe multiple pies or. I feel like the syrup would have helped, because right now it tastes like a diluted well.

[A]

It's melted milky. So hot outside.

[C]

Pumpkin pie.

[A]

I think. What? Like, when I did it, all of the pumpkin bits were at the top, so I had a lot of pumpkin in everybody.

[C]

Yeah, there's really not much pumpkin in. Really is just Oreo.

[A]

He gave me the mix. Pumpkin pie is gonna eat it already, huh?

[C]

That's interesting.

[A]

Okay, whatever. 10 out of 10. Go get it for yourself. I would say run to McDonald's for this.

[C]

Is this all you tried?

[A]

You should run to McDonald's. No.

[C]

And then run home from McDonald's.

[A]

We tried to a toilet.

[B]

Jeez.

[A]

We tried the pumpkin pie by itself. We tried this, and then we got that new milkshake again. You had it? We had it on the office party podcast, but they hadn't tried it.

[C]

I feel so bad. I, like, wasn't listening.

[A]

Okay, goodbye. Well, no, no, this is.

[C]

I was thinking my joke didn't make sense. Why did I. You should run to McDonald's. I was trying to say, you should run from McDonald's, and I said, to McDonald's. I. I like McDonald's, though. I'm not trying to shade McDonald's. What did you say?

[A]

Nothing. Okay. Goodbye, girls.

[C]

Well, wait. So wait. So what's in the thumbnail?

[A]

Just this and the apple and the pie.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And the new shake.

[C]

What's a new shake?

[A]

We had it on the office party box. Yeah, we had it. Tried that. They hadn't. Oh.

[C]

Period. Did they like it?

[A]

Chris loved it. And I like the flavor. I just couldn't have an entire shake right. But it is crazy tasting. Like, I can't imagine anyone else liking it. It's very.

[C]

It's very Pride vibes. Ronald McDonald is Pride coated.

[A]

Okay. Good night, girls.

[C]

Oh, my God. Do you think he's the Hamburglar or what's the big thing with the path patties? That's not the Hamburglar. That's the Grimace.

[A]

What? Lizzie never put her Grimace video on Tick Tock.

[C]

You never posted your Grimace video that took us two years to make and, like, ruined my hoodie.

[A]

My hoodie.

[B]

Are you.

[A]

Do you. You need to edit that?

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

Oh, so it's edited. The Tick Tock's edited too.

[B]

It's not editing like a Tik Tok.

[A]

Bye. Bye.

[B]

Bye.