Tasting the New KATSEYE Smoothie at EREWHON

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon

Episode: Tasting the New KATSEYE Smoothie at EREWHON
Date: February 18, 2026
Hosts: Ryland Adams & Lizze Gordon
Guests: Chris, Spencer

Episode Overview

Ryland and Lizze are back with their signature blend of irreverent banter and personal anecdotes, this time from the car as they taste Erewhon’s new Catseye (KATSEYE) smoothie. The episode covers a chaotic week of parenting, illness (especially norovirus drama), self-deprecating hygiene confessions, pop culture hot topics, and a brutally honest review of the much-hyped smoothie. Expect hilarious tangents about teeth, viral content, relationship milestones, and TMI moments, plus a group lunch taste test that turns into a comedic mukbang.

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Key Conversation Themes & Segments

1. Parenting Chaos, Hygiene, and Illness

• Torrential Rain & Parenting Mishaps:
  • Both hosts share mornings filled with forgetfulness (umbrellas, socks), baby tantrums, and Uber rides.
  • “I ordered him his own set of Makeup by Mario travel brushes just to play with.” – Lizze (03:10)
• Contact Napping & Postpartum Life: Lizze describes her son’s only-nap-on-mom phase, juggling baby and makeup.
• Post-Norovirus Recovery:
  • Recap of a household-wide norovirus outbreak—vomiting stories with comically dark details.
  • “If you get pregnant again, we’re not…Like, I don’t know what. I don’t know what we could possibly do. This is not okay.” – Joe via Lizze (04:24)
  • Valuable, memorable quote:
    • "Everybody needs to calm down out there. You know what I’m saying? Because, like, it’s just—you just need a week. And everything’s like, you have no memory of how awful it was." – Lizze (04:20)
  • Poor guy scoring Joe’s movie stuck in the garage during quarantine:
    • “One time at night, Joe went out and threw him some trash bags and said, ‘You might need these.’” – Lizze (40:16)

2. Hygiene Disasters & Embarrassing Admissions

• Listerine Mishaps & Bad Breath:
  • The crew debates if you’re supposed to swallow mouthwash, accompanied by gross-out humor.
  • Chin Hair Confessions:
    • Lizze dramatically details her inability to find tweezers and sprouting chin hair—a recurring, self-deprecating bit.
    • “No one fucks me. No one’s getting fucked. I can’t get pregnant again. I’m traumatized.” – Lizze (05:03)
• Earring Infections:
  • Ryland gets “bougie earrings” from Shane for Valentine’s Day; they cause infected ears and a spiraling self-diagnosis with ChatGPT.
  • “And before, when I realized I was just like, well, I've got to sanitize them. So I threw alcohol in them…ChatGPT was like, whatever you do, don’t throw alcohol in your ears.” – Ryland (10:53)

3. Valentine’s Day Recap

• Nothing too wild:
  • Lizze’s day was uneventful, Shane surprised Ryland with cakes and (unfortunately) those earrings.
  • Christopher and boyfriend opted for a romantic home dinner and movie, then dinner out (29:20–30:40).
• Parenting and Playdates:
  • Ryland and Lizze nearly book the same dentist for their kids—on different days.

4. Pop Culture Hot Topics & Social Media

• Michaela Nogueira’s Personal TMI & Divorce:
  • Ryland and Lizze dissect makeup influencer Michaela’s sponsored post (Lemme Purr) where she admits, “I’ve never been eaten out,” followed soon after by her divorce announcement. (46:00–51:00)
  • "It was so gnarly just to hear her be like, I have never been eat out." – Lizze (49:31)
• Heated Rivalry & Biathlete Drama:
  • They analyze the heated shipping culture around Netflix’s “Heated Rivalry” stars, debate the sexuality of its actors, and riff on a Norwegian “biathlete” whose third-place Olympic wins are overshadowed by cheating confessionals.
  • “Every time he wins third place, it's: the cheating biathlete from Norway.” – Lizze (54:13)
• North West’s Shopping Spree & Hand Piercings:
  • Brief discussion of North West’s shopping exploits and new hand dermal piercings.

5. Erewhon KATSEYE Smoothie Review (60:27–64:45)

• Smoothie Description:
  • $22 price tag; includes coconut milk, coconut water, coconut yogurt, honey, cherry, pineapple, mango, banana, beet juice, saffron, ashwagandha, pitaya, and coconut cream.
• Taste Test Reactions:
  • Negative: “If I don’t have some of this smoothie soon, I’m gonna die…Oh, Shane ordered it with dinner last night, and I had a very negative reaction, too.” – Ryland (62:06)
  • “What’s the awful taste, though?” “Why does that taste so bad?” – Group (62:39)
  • Consensus: An overpowering beet/saffron taste ruins it for most. Spencer likes it, but others are grossed out.
• Erewhon Lunch Mukbang:
  • Mac and cheese (two kinds—gluten-free preferred), brussels sprouts, steak, salmon, sweet potato. Bites are exchanged; friendly (and sometimes nasty!) back-and-forth.

6. Relationship Banter & Friendship Dynamic

• Therapy & Self-Improvement:
  • Ryland jokingly teases a therapy list for Lizze, who wants a group therapy (maybe including their mutual friend Max).
• Vacation Debate:
  • Differences in vacation philosophy—Ryland wants a real break, Lizze thinks family trips can be relaxing.
• Running Gag:
  • Repeated joking references: “Hot Topics,” swallowing mouthwash, chin hairs, stinky odors, and who takes supplements.
• Standout Friendship Moment:
  • “You really are a movie character.” – Ryland to Lizze during a string of Lizze’s wild stories (75:40)

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Notable Quotes & Comedy Highlights

• [04:20] Lizze:
  “Everybody needs to calm down out there. You know what I’m saying? Because, like, you just need a week. And everything’s…you have no memory of how awful it was.”

• [05:03] Lizze:
  “No one fucks me. No one’s getting fucked. I’m not on birth control. We are not fucking. I can’t get pregnant again. I am traumatized.”

• [10:53] Ryland:
  “I threw alcohol in them. I, like, bathed them in alcohol. And then I took a picture, I asked ChatGPT…It was like, whatever you do, don’t throw alcohol in your ears.”

• [19:08] Lizze (Norovirus saga):
  “We’re so…So then I put Ernie in the carrier and I’m like—out there just doing both boys’ morning routine and getting Billy to school. On the way to school, I’m just laughing, like, it’s coming for me. I got 24 hours to live.”

• [51:00] Ryland:
  “Sit down. You guys. Are you standing? Find a seat.”

• [54:13] Lizze (Biathlete story):
  “Every time it’s: the cheating biathlete from Norway. Like, I think it’s very funny to be—no one’s dropping his…his name’s one of those, like, super Norwegian names where you can’t say it.”

• [62:39] Group (Smoothie test):
  “What’s the awful taste, though?”
  “Why does that taste so bad?”

• [75:40] Ryland:
  “You really are a movie character.”

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Timestamps for Significant Segments

• 00:30–07:00 – Parenting mayhem, baby makeup and hygiene horror stories
• 14:35–20:00 – Norovirus saga and family-wide illness
• 29:20–30:40 – Chris’s Valentine's Day recap
• 40:16 – The garage quarantine and scoring Joe’s film
• 46:00–51:00 – Michaela Nogueira’s viral confession & influencer divorces
• 54:13 – Norwegian biathlete cheating confession
• 60:27–64:45 – Catseye smoothie at Erewhon: group taste test & comedic roast
• 70:00–76:16 – Erewhon lunch: food sharing, mukbang, and tinnitus talk
• 75:40 – Ryland calls Lizze a movie character, capping the self-mocking energy

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Catseye Smoothie Details & Group Verdict

• Ingredients List (61:07):

  • Coconut milk, coconut water, raw coconut yogurt, honey, cherry, pineapple, mango, banana, beet juice, saffron, ashwagandha, pitaya, coconut cream.

• Taste Reactions:

  • Ryland: “Very negative reaction.”
  • Lizze: “It’s the saffron…or maybe the beet juice.”
  • Group: Overwhelming “bad” consensus, except Spencer, who likes it. Beets/saffron cited as culprits.

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Final Thoughts

This episode delivers a chaotic, hilarious ride through the hosts’ week: grossed-out confessions, stories of resilience, internet gossip, and a much-hyped smoothie that does NOT live up to expectations. Highlights include the vulnerability of parenting fails, influencer call-outs, K-pop detours, and the genuine comfort of watching messy eaters eat.
The candid storytelling and relentless humor make this a must-listen (and now a must-read) for fans of unscripted, real-life comedy and pop culture commentary.

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For more:

• Ryland, Lizze, Chris, and Spencer’s social info is plugged at the end.
• Sound off in the comments where you’d send them for future vacation episodes!
• [76:49] “We had fun with you.”
• [79:19] “Comment down below where you want to see Ryland and Lizzie go.”

End of Summary

Transcript

[A]

Shut this door and don't open it for anyone for the next five days.

[B]

That's some tea in the G right there.

[A]

Show em.

[B]

That is, in fact, some tea in.

[C]

The G. And I live my life.

[A]

As though there's no rules. Everybody needs to calm down out there. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

And you know who didn't reply to me?

[B]

I'm leaving.

[A]

Just drag one of my titties down to the floor and wrap it around my ankles.

[B]

This is the one is wrong with you.

[C]

What is wrong with me? You knew.

[B]

You're okay, first of all, you are fine today. And you have. You could have come prepared. You didn't bring an umbrella, you didn't bring socks. And it's a torrential downpour in Los Angeles. Okay, Are we blown out?

[A]

Who would. Where is Chris?

[B]

Christopher.

[A]

Chris. Not that it's related, but I do like the way my breath smells.

[B]

Your breath was what I was hoping you would fix, which is why I handed you a Listerine.

[A]

Can you smell it?

[B]

I could. Yeah.

[A]

Well, I don't care. I like the way it smells.

[B]

Crazy. That's like when somebody's farting and it's like I like the scent of my own fart.

[A]

I went to high school with a girl who would cup her farts on her body and wiggle them up to her nose to get a good fresh whiff. And that's how I feel about my breath right now. I'm like. Like it's human.

[B]

You can't get enough of it.

[A]

Okay, here's the backstory on the breath, you guys. My toothbrush got hand soap on it. I was brushing my teeth yesterday, and I was like, ah, tast. Like pine the fudge hand soap. So I threw it away and I had no replacement.

[B]

You can't. At least there's. I'm not thinking.

[A]

I'm not thinking 10 steps ahead.

[C]

And I'm not gonna.

[A]

I'm not gonna list to rain. This burns.

[B]

My problem with, like, teeth cleanliness is if. Is it raining in here?

[A]

It feels like it's raining in here. I'm all wet. I texted Chris. I said, chris, could I get a ride to work today? Yes.

[C]

And you know who didn't reply to me? Chris. Not a single reply.

[A]

Crickets.

[B]

And he. And he left a headset out on purpose so he can't be held accountable on air.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

What a dick.

[A]

Anyways, I ubered to work because I wanted my husband to be able to take our child out into the world because it's a holiday and there's no school, so I wanted them to be able to go to the library. And then on my way in the Uber, Joe goes, all the libraries are closed today.

[C]

It's like, I can't go to the mall. I don't fucking care. Go to Disneyland. I'll go myself. It's what it is.

[A]

And, like, the baby will only take naps on my body. The baby sleeps great at night.

[B]

So much hair on this. It's, like, even distracting me. I'm so sorry.

[A]

No, it's okay. The baby sleeps great at night, but he will only do a contact nap. So I'm contact napping with the baby, putting on my makeup, letting Billy play with my makeup.

[B]

When you were sending me photos of you getting ready this morning, I was like, this is too much.

[A]

It's a lot. I don't feel like it's wearing the.

[B]

Baby carrier and holding Billy and trying to do your makeup. Yeah. And it's like, that's why she forgets socks. Forgets an umbrella, has brushed teeth inst.

[A]

Well, no, I told you, I have unbrushed teeth and I stink because Billy took my deodorant. And then I didn't want to take it back from him because he was already, like, tantruming because I was like, we're done with makeup. All done makeup. And he was like.

[B]

And you're like, okay, so you get to keep the makeup. Live in for the deodorant.

[A]

I ordered him his own set of makeup by Mario Travel brushes just to play with. Yeah. Because my brushes all have makeup on them. So when he takes my brushes and puts them on his face, he looks dirty.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I have to wipe his face down. He's like. So to avoid all that, I got him a tiny set of clean brushes for him to play play with. But those are a high value toy, so we only give it to him in, like, when the pressure's on. Do you know what I'm saying?

[B]

When you really have to get.

[A]

When you really have to get something, then.

[B]

So you had a good morning.

[A]

You know, it's neither here nor there with mornings, generally speaking.

[B]

And your family's come back from the dead.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

Yeah, you don't want to bring us back. Last week you were so passionate about your life, and has that all passed you? Have you forgotten what that felt like?

[A]

Was I passionate about?

[B]

Oh, that you were on the last. On your last straw. That you were about to have a physical mental breakdown.

[A]

I was, yeah.

[B]

Are you kidding me? When you got norovirus, you were like, I'm so no, that I can't come on Monday because I was going to tell you on air that I am done. I am going to break. Really? Yeah.

[A]

Wow, that's crazy. What a difference a week makes.

[B]

That is crazy.

[A]

Everybody needs to calm down out there. You know what I'm saying? Because, like, it's just. You just need a week. And everything's like. You have no memory of how awful it was. I looked at Joe yesterday in the car and I was like, I miss being pregnant. He was like, are you you kidding? He's like, if you. If you get pregnant again, we're not. Like, I don't know what. I don't know what we could possibly do. He's like, this is not okay.

[C]

I was like, I don't know.

[A]

I kind of miss it.

[B]

You're sick.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I don't know if it's a dog hair or a chin hair.

[A]

It's probably chin right here.

[B]

It's really long.

[A]

No, it's really long.

[B]

It's really long.

[A]

That was another thing.

[B]

I was saving it.

[A]

No, I'm not saving it. There's two. They're very long. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, so you knew that you were growing those.

[A]

Oh, I'm very aware. I can't find my tweezers. No one fucks me. No one's getting fucked. I'm not on birth control. We are not fucking. I can't get pregnant again. I am traumatized. I am traumatized. I can't find.

[B]

You're still gonna leave them?

[C]

I don't have any tweezers.

[A]

What am I supposed to do?

[B]

Stench. And your. And your breath, I think, is me having to stare at your two long chain.

[A]

I'm leaving. I'm leaving. No.

[C]

Well, then you're just.

[B]

I can't with you. I can't with you. Gag. You're gonna gag on that and then you're gonna have to get up and then you're gonna be mad at me about it.

[A]

No, I'll just stay in my place. Where does it come out of this?

[B]

You just. You're going to swallow the mouthwash.

[A]

What? How do you do it?

[B]

I spit it out when I'm. Oh, my gosh. You have it, too.

[A]

Are you not supposed to swallow it?

[B]

You swallow it. I didn't know you couldn't you swish it around? Have you never used mouthwash before?

[A]

Not like this.

[D]

Wait, I do swallow it or you're not supposed to.

[B]

I mean, that little. I'm sure it's fine, but no, I don't think you swallow mouthwash Is this mouthwash? But I don't know if you should be taking hygiene advice from me. Me? Because I have two infected ears.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oh, you didn't even notice.

[A]

You. I survived norovirus. I get back here and all you do is talk about chin hairs that no one on the Internet would have ever seen. You crusty eared little bitch. Are we all going to forget about the time that your balls got so gnarly infected that you had to go on antibiotics that were so intense you weren't allowed in the sun? You sick.

[B]

That was crazy.

[A]

Or the number three you left on a couch that got me pregnant with.

[B]

My second, which explains a lot, period. He is grumpy. And everyone's been talking about that.

[A]

I hate you.

[C]

I can't believe I paid $44 to get here today.

[B]

That is crazy.

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

So you didn't use it or you did?

[A]

I used it. What you're smelling must be my armpits.

[B]

Honestly, I don't smell you.

[A]

Then why did you make me use that?

[B]

You were the one that kept saying, list their smell. Smell. It's like taco meat. And I was like, what about it?

[A]

My armpits smell like taco meat and weed. It's crazy.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay. So we're going to leave those there.

[A]

The hairs you.

[B]

Well, do you want help?

[A]

Do you have tweezers? And I have two long head hairs growing out of the side of my face on this side. You can't pull this with your fingers. It'll just curl them.

[B]

No, I can pull them.

[A]

No, you can't.

[B]

I literally can't.

[A]

No, you literally can't. No, you can't.

[B]

Yeah, just yank.

[A]

No, girl, they're just gonna get curled if I yank.

[B]

It's crazy. Okay, whatever, Whatever.

[A]

And honestly, I will admit this. I am shocked by the fact that they just continue to grow. And I was thinking that the other day, because I've never let them get this.

[B]

I can't believe that you are aware of them.

[A]

Oh, I've had them for years. I just pluck them. But I've never. They've never gotten so bad. I just literally can't find my tweezers. And every time I think about looking for my tweezers, I'm nap trapped. So I can't get up to go find them because I'm laying in darkness watching things with no sound.

[B]

Did you have a good Valentine's Day?

[A]

Not now. Not now that I know everyone can see my whiskers. My wise man chin hairs. If you've ever seen me go like this. I'm thinking. And I'm playing with my beard. Do it all the time.

[B]

Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let.

[A]

I. Did you ever get Valentine?

[B]

All of these hygiene issues are non issues. I'm just.

[A]

I'm a postpartum mother. You're lucky I shower.

[B]

You walked in and you were like. I don't know. You were like, I stink.

[C]

Look at me. I'm crazy.

[B]

So that's just like, you know, just acknowledging the way you walked in this morning. It doesn't bother me personally.

[A]

I'm just really looking forward to when you're postpartum and I can verbally abuse you in front of a hundred, 000 people.

[B]

I'm not trying to verbally abus if your husband fucks you looking at your chin hairs or not.

[C]

No one fucks me. No one's getting fucked.

[B]

Okay. Okay. So what did you do to celebrate Valentine's Day?

[A]

It was Valentine's Day.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

What did you do?

[B]

Nothing really.

[A]

I mean, looked like you got cakes.

[B]

Oh. Oh. I mean, Shane celebrated me, of course.

[A]

I can't fathom anyone wanting to celebrate me.

[B]

You know, when he told me, like, we're not gonna do anything this year, I took him seriously and I didn't care.

[A]

You do this every year to him.

[B]

No, I know.

[A]

Every year he's like, we're not doing anything. And then you call me. It's like, he spent $10,000 and I got him nothing.

[B]

Well, maybe he should stop because the really bougie earrings that he got me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Have infected my ears. And it's like when they were a little bit smaller. This never happened to me. And, yeah, I'm a little bit gross, just like my co host here. And I don't ever take out my earrings.

[A]

But I have the ringworm.

[B]

I have. I don't have ringworm.

[A]

You always have.

[B]

No, no, I'm. I'm good and fresh on ringworm right now because I've been doing pilates more than I've been doing yoga. The pil in a heated room. And it's the heated room that really breeds the ringworm. Yeah. So I'm not. I'm not an active threat to spread ringworm to you or Chris today because I'm free. But if an ear infection is something I can spread, watch out.

[A]

Did you celebrate your ringworm on Valentine's Day?

[B]

I don't have.

[A]

Just like, thanks for being there, buddy.

[B]

You know, it's not there, but yeah. And then this, like, last night I was watching a YouTube vlog, and this vlogger girl was like, you really need to make sure you clean your ears every day. And she was going at it like she was with a towel, like, behind her ears. And I was like, I clean my ears in the shower. Like, I make sure to get the soap back there, but I'm never, like, scrubbing with a towel behind my ears. And it's so weird that a day later, my ears started itching. And then I was like, maybe I should take these big earrings out. Took them out. My ears are so infected. And before, I was having such a crazy morning this morning when I realized that I was just like, well, I've got to sanitize them. I got to sterilize them. So I threw alcohol in them. I, like, bathe them in alcohol. And then I took a picture. I asked chat GPT. I'm sorry. I had to. I don't have a. An on demand doctor that will reply to me. And it was like, whatever you do, don't throw alcohol in your ears. That will irritate them more.

[A]

Yeah. I was like, oh, and everyone's only.

[B]

I would have asked GPT before I threw alcohol all over my ears.

[A]

And people are always quick to do, like, hydrogen peroxide, but then that takes away the part of it that's healing it.

[B]

Oh, that was my first solution. Thank God. I couldn't find it. But I did find the alcohol.

[A]

Does it say to put Neosporin on them?

[B]

It said to just clean them with unscented fresh soap and then blot them with, like, a paper towel, not a regular towel.

[A]

Just trying to keep them dry.

[B]

So I did that afterwards. I left my earrings out, and I thought, well, I'll just let all of you look at them.

[A]

They're very pink.

[B]

I know. And I thought you could only get ear infections like that when your ears were freshly pierced. I didn't know this was a possibility for a hole that's been there for crusty five years. And I think the earrings are just too big.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

I think they just collect because I've never had this problem before. Yeah. So really, we should blame my valentine for getting me such big diamonds.

[A]

Oh, no. What time is it?

[B]

Oh, 1250. We have to bleep the C word.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Although I did see YouTube said that they were rolling back a lot of their monetization. Whoa. Like, they were just.

[A]

They're like, they're gonna let C word. They're gonna let C word and F word. Say the F word.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I Don't. I didn't find out specifically about those words, but I found out that they're really pulling back on what is quote unquote demonetizable.

[A]

Love it. Thank God.

[B]

Love it. We could just be ourselves.

[A]

We can just be ourselves if one of us could just get a vlog out.

[B]

Yeah. So I wake up. It's torrential downpour. My nanny did show up, but she's like, I have to leave. And I was like, well, I have to work. Then I found out I had infected ears. And then I look outside, and my courtyard is just filling with water.

[A]

Oh, no. You're gonna have to have your drain guy come.

[B]

I mean, you love him, so that's. I might have to call the drainage guy. The trees blew so much debris that it's, like, covering the drain. And then I unplug the drain from all the debris, but then when all the water flows back in, it gets covered again. So then it's just like. And I don't even know, like, me being gone for three hours, is it going to rise so much that it's now entered my house in the courtyard in the courtyar.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Because it was. And then I go out, and the drainage that my drainage guy had done isn't leaking from the sump pump. And I think it's because the electrical cord that has the sump pump plugged in is all wet because I don't have it covered because I never got it fucking outlet installed into the wall. It's just like, you know so much. I know so much.

[A]

You know so much.

[B]

So then I'm out there replacing the extension cord so that that will drain so that my courtyard will drain. And then I'm like, well, I have to go to work. So I'm like, you know what? It. I'm just gonna go to work, let it flood. Let it all slide.

[A]

Who cares?

[B]

And I cut my finger last week, but I've already told that on every other platform I have, so I don't need to tell you about that too. Oh.

[A]

While I was dealing with norovirus, I had an infection on my middle finger. And then, as it were, so disgusting.

[C]

It's been healing. The skin's just coming off.

[B]

Is it because we're parents?

[C]

Yeah, it's because we're covered in.

[A]

It's because we're, like, covered in all day, every day. Also, this bra I'm wearing, I it from Skims Plug, and I was like, oh, man, I ordered one that's way too big. Like, this is huge. I can't fit in that. I have to call some big tittied friend of mine and say, hey, you want a new bra that doesn't fit me? And I tried. I was like, maybe I'll just try it on first. I try. Fits like a glove.

[B]

Well, you. You're milking.

[A]

Yeah, but I was, like, shook. Cuz, like, when you look at this bra next to Ernie, you're like, the. Like, those are some big yiddies. No, like, like. Oh, good news. Ernest can nurse off the nip now.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

Yeah. And you know what else I realized?

[B]

What?

[A]

So random. But when Mr. Bubs's first name is actually Ernest, I completely forgot.

[C]

And I named my baby Ernest, too.

[B]

You just did that on accident?

[A]

Yeah, I realized it at the vet the other day. I was like, huh, that's crazy of me. His name is Ernest Beelzebubs, and that's why we call him Mr. Bubs. But it's just the nickname became the name. You know what I mean?

[B]

Be able, Beelzebub.

[C]

Look, it's on his Instagram.

[A]

His high school picture. You can see it in his, like, whatever. I'll find it. We'll plug it. But it was. I was like, that's kind of weird. I had named my baby the same.

[C]

Name I named my dog.

[B]

You're consistent.

[A]

Yeah, nothing if not consistent. Yeah, well, I also. I named Bubs after Joe, and so we named Ernie after Joe, too. Just like Billy's named after James. You get all makes sense.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But not dollars.

[B]

So how was the norovirus?

[A]

Oh, how was the norovirus? Oh, my God. Bring us back my eyes. Well, I did post a blog about it.

[B]

Oh, a vlog.

[A]

Sorry, my eyes twitching like crazy right now. It was crazy. So it had been 48 hours since our last illness in the house, and I was.

[C]

Stop talking about my chair. Oh, I can see.

[A]

You know what? It's a holiday. I'm charging you time and a half to talk about my chin hair. I'm not kidding.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[A]

I'm invoicing you in three months when I remember to invoice you. So it had been 48 hours since our last disease, and I was, like, living la vida loca, you know what I mean? I was like, I don't need my phone. No one's sick. I'm gonna put my phone away. I'm just gonna enjoy bath time with Ernie. Like, it's just gonna be a fun evening. And we're, like, singing, and I'm, like, kissing on him, and he's like, smiling up at me, and I'm, like, smiling down on him. And then the back door just bursts open with this smell. And it's like, huh? And Jessica screams.

[C]

There's vomit everywhere. He threw up everywhere. It's all over the stroller. The stroller's ruined. He's vomiting everywhere.

[B]

Is this the Syfax stroller?

[C]

Yeah, it's a brand new million dollar stroller. Joe's like, go puke all over his pants and all over his shirt. He's like, take my pants off me. But he has this, like, stupid magnetic belt. And I'm like, I can't get the belt to work.

[B]

He's like, magnetic belt? That is the straightest thing I have ever heard in my life is too much.

[A]

He's putting Billy in the bath.

[C]

Billy's like, why is everyone being so crazy?

[A]

Like, he's like, joe just. He just was so quiet on the walk, and then he just opened his mouth and just went. And I was like, oh, God. He's like, I think it was a one off.

[B]

Sorry.

[C]

It's just so funny in retrospect. I think it was just a one and done kind of thing. He says, it was just one off because he's on antibiotics. And I was like, I don't know. He's like, should I give him more milk? And I was like, absolutely not, dude.

[B]

Milk is the worst thing.

[C]

You can give him any milk. Joe, don't give him any milk. Sorry. So then Joe gets in the bath.

[A]

With him because they're both covered in vomit. And they. They get in the bath. Billy's being super cute too. Like, he's, like, walking around being funny, like, being his normal self. And I was like, maybe it is.

[C]

A one goes to put him in his pajamas. Joe gets him in his pajamas, and I hear Joe scream, oh, oh.

[B]

Being a parrot man.

[C]

Oh, God damn it.

[B]

Right after the bath in new pajamas.

[C]

Joe comes in dripping in vomit. Billy puked on his head. Jo is. I'm crying. Cause it does. Oh, God, Joe's livid. Joe's so bad. He's, like, trembling. He's like, oh, he drew up on my head.

[B]

How do you react? In that moment, I was in the.

[C]

Bed feeding Ernie, and I'm like, we're so like, I need you to help me. And I just said, I can't. I said, I can't help you. I have to stay away from you in case one of us can stay. Well, I can't help you.

[A]

And I was like, and you need to calm down.

[C]

And you just need to support Billy, who is now retching again and vomiting on the floor in my bathroom. And I was like, I don't think it's a one off.

[B]

Oh, man.

[C]

Tears running down my face.

[A]

So, yeah, so Billy vomited consistently for, like, four hours. Poor little guy. Cute in between. But yeah, vomited. And then the next day, totally fine, Jumping up on the couch, doing little stunt double things. He has this new thing where he'll do something that's, like, a little bit risky, and then he'll, like, land it, and he'll be like, more? You want more? You want to see me do some mo. And it's like, stop looking at it. I can see your eyes, darling.

[B]

I actually wasn't that time. I was just so invested in the mole. The more stuff months.

[A]

So for one day, Billy's fine. Joe's like, I bet it wasn't Norell, because if it was Nora, we would have all gotten.

[C]

That. Night rolls around, and I wake up.

[B]

Hold on. Lizzy texts me in the middle of that too. And she's like. She goes, joe's being really weird about it not being Nora.

[C]

And Joe's gonna be mad that we talked about that on the show.

[B]

Why? It's Nora. You got norovirus.

[A]

Because it wasn't norovirus.

[B]

Oh, yeah. The whole household went down. But it was just some. He's like, we got.

[A]

It was a stomach bug.

[B]

It was just poisoning. The Just transferred.

[A]

So then that night, I wake up and I'm like, oh, that's weird. Where's Joe? Oh, maybe he's taking Icky out. And then I realized, like, no, Icky's still in bed. Like, where's Joe? Weird. And I got back to sleep, and then I wake up again and he's back. I'm like, oh, whatever, that's fine. And then I go back to sleep, and I wake up and he's gone again. I'm like, huh, that's weird. And then the next morning, I walk out and I'm like, relieved. You know? I'm like, ugh, Dodged a bull. It was a one off. Just one of us went off. And I go up to Joe in the living room, and I give him a hug, and I say, I'm so proud of us. I'm so proud of you. We really handled that well because the night of the vomit with Billy, like, we really did handle it well. Like, I set up Joe's sleep dungeon. I put, you know, towels down in Billy's bed. Like, we made it work. Billy was happy and cared For. And there wasn't a huge mess. And. And the second I embraced Joe and I stepped back, he goes, I threw.

[C]

Up twice last night. And I went, you let me hug you. You let me hug you and use your mom twice last night.

[B]

Dude, what the fuck was that?

[C]

What was that? What? He goes. He goes, I threw all of my clothes in my bath mat out the window in the bathroom so as to not track the disease through the house. And I went, but you got back in bed with me two times. You threw up two times and threw everything out the window, but then just got back in bed with me.

[A]

He's like. He spray. He's like, well, I bleached everything I touched on my way around.

[C]

And I was like, right, but you got back in bed with me.

[B]

And so you're a carrier of this disease that isn't norovirus.

[A]

He's like, I think I'm done. I think I'm done. I think I just threw up those two times. And it might not be relieved.

[C]

Okay. And then I go into the bedroom to feed Ernie and I just hear Joe vomiting in the kitchen. And I'm just like, we're so. So then I put Ernie in the carrier and I'm like.

[A]

And I'm out there just doing both boys morning routine and like, getting Billy to school.

[C]

And like, on the way to school, I'm just laughing like this. Cause I'm like, it's coming for me. I got 24 hours to live and then it's over. Like, it's coming. And so I spent all day preparing.

[A]

I, like, cleaned the entire house.

[C]

I, like, went to Costco and got rations.

[A]

And like, literally that night before bed, Joe was like, you should just start carrying a bucket around now because it comes on.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

I put my hair up in a bun. I had a bucket with trash cans ready by the bed. I had like, my electrolyte drinks ready. And it came for me.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Came for me at 4am just started.

[B]

Vomiting while pumping, and she was ready to come to work. And I said, don't you dare show up to work.

[A]

Well, no, like 48 hours later. And what I had googled was like, you can go be a chef in a kitchen 48 hours after Noro.

[B]

Yeah. But then she.

[A]

So the fact that we don't all have. Well, that.

[B]

That was on Monday when we were filming.

[A]

This is James. James is a fucking moron. I said, because I couldn't care for my children. So I said, james, I will pay you with hazard pay to watch my baby.

[B]

What does that mean?

[A]

5 extra dollars an hour.

[B]

Oh, time and a half.

[A]

Yeah. To watch my child while I die in my bedroom. And for some reason, every time he changed Ernie's diaper, he came back in the bedroom and one time I was vomiting in a bucket and I was like, get out. He's like, what? And I'm like, like, what are you doing in here? He might not have gotten it if he hadn't been in while I was vomiting.

[B]

Did you watch anything while you were vomiting?

[A]

I watched every piece of content Alex Warren has ever put on the Internet.

[B]

And honestly, I was asking about tele, but she did text me. She goes, I'm an Alex Warren super fan though.

[A]

No, like I was like, what piece.

[B]

Of content changed you? I mean, not that you needed to be changed, but like.

[A]

No, I did. I hate.

[B]

What was the mo.

[A]

Oh, you know, I hated him.

[B]

I didn't know that. Oh yeah.

[A]

When High Pass came out, I used to text you all the time being like, who the does Alex before this?

[B]

Yeah, well, because he was verbatimly ripping off.

[A]

He was David. Yeah.

[B]

Like to the second of his uploads. Like he was uploading the same length. He was doing the same like. Like it was crazy. And then it started working too. Yeah, he was doing that. Oh, it totally worked for him. So I will give Alex Warren that. He's been very successful at like curating different careers. And it just goes to show that anyone, if you have a big dream, if you try even you probably don't know who Ryan Trahan is. But like for a long time he. He tried so many different things on YouTube and then he like landed on one that like catapulted him into huge success.

[A]

Look at me.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

That's all I do on my channel.

[B]

Okay, so what was it that changed you?

[D]

Like what.

[B]

What was it when you're scrolling and then you thought, you know what? I'm a super fan.

[A]

The way that he seems to truly love his wife, it seems very genuine and sincere. And then also as an individual who's like lost someone I loved the lyrics of some of his songs really speak to me. And it's devastating that he's like an orphan and lived in a car.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[A]

Yeah, both of his parents are dead.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

He was homeless.

[B]

I didn't know that at all.

[A]

Yeah, he was home lived in his car for a little while. And you know, he's young, so he does annoying things that 20 year olds do. Like some 20 year olds when they are just who they are. It's like. But you can enjoy them outside of that.

[B]

Well, I think he's done in that phase of his life because I don't think he does YouTube anymore, does he?

[A]

I don't think he does YouTube anymore. But he, like. Like, I. And I like his music, you know, Ordinary. Like, it's a bop.

[B]

And it's been a bop now for year. Like, they've been. They've been commercializing that song for years now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What feels like years.

[A]

And he has another one out that's like Devast Dating. I don't remember the name of it, but it's like, about, you know, one. The lyric that particularly gives me chills is he has to become somebody that is. His parents don't know. And that's so like, that's something that really me up because that's like, when I lost Kissy, I would just always think to myself, I can't change anything because I would. I don't want to be anything that she didn't know. Like, I could cry right now. And so just things like that where it's like, you know, he. He gets it. Like, I don't think he's manipulative. I think he's just. Just wearing his heart on his.

[B]

I think he was trying to pay the path to success.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To be something bigger for. I mean, I haven't consumed a ton.

[A]

Of him, but Andy's wearing his heart on his sleeve, and he's out here just being real and telling people what, what.

[B]

So it's on top of a musician. Is he, like, actively a tick tocker?

[A]

I don't think he's ever really been an active tick tocker. His wife kind of was. And now he uses Tik Tok as a means to push his music out because his label didn't believe in ordinary.

[B]

Well, that is. That is what I have seen of him is that he said, like, he post ordinary, like, 400 different ways before it finally, like, clicked because he believed in the song so much, and now.

[A]

He'S pushing a new song that's like Freight Train, which also, like, gets me going. It's like, it's almost like, you know how if you're like, in, like, a Southern church that, like, has that big, like, Baptist music and everyone can't help but get up and, like, praise the Lord because it's just. It just is what it is. It just runs through your body. That's kind of what he does.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. Do you smell me know?

[B]

No, no, no. I really don't smell you.

[A]

That's so crazy.

[B]

You were projecting a smell.

[A]

No, my nanny was like, I can't smell you either. And I'm like, I. It's all I smell. Every time I move, I'm like, am I tacos and drugs? He might be, but anyways. Yeah. No, Love him.

[B]

Did you watch any television?

[A]

No. Literally, just Alex War.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And most of it with no sound. God, no. I didn't have the baby so I could listen to it with sound.

[B]

It was awesome.

[A]

It was like a vacation, honestly, between being starving and traumatized norovirus us. Kind of like a break, you know what I mean? Kind of nice. Kind of a nice little break.

[B]

Did you have a nice Valentine's Day, Christopher?

[D]

I did, yeah. I had a really nice Valentine's Day.

[A]

We.

[D]

We said up front that the actual day, we were going to kind of take it easy because it's always so nuts and the restaurants are so busy or whatever. And so he was gonna, like, make food at home. And he did. Made, like, a really delicious steak dinner and then just, like, saw a movie. And then the following night.

[B]

What Movie?

[D]

Weathering Prime101. We saw Saturday and then, which I loved. And. And. And like, all the. Like, the Calabasas Commons is in the movie. And I was like, no way.

[C]

We've had lunch there.

[D]

Like, it was cool. We've had lunch there. And then the. The next day we saw Wuthering Heights and was it sexy? And we went.

[A]

Turn it down just a little bit.

[B]

Yes. But also, how could I do that?

[D]

Like, if you've seen Saltburn, a lot of, like, she makes crazy movies, that director. And there's a lot of crazy moments in this movie. There's in a. There's basically barnyard, old timey S and M. That happens.

[A]

What's the movie about?

[B]

Is it like.

[A]

Is it gray? Is it 50 shades of grey, but like, romance novel?

[B]

Is it the straight version of Heated rivalry?

[D]

No.

[A]

Is there hockey?

[D]

Zero hockey.

[B]

You know, I don't think I'm interested.

[D]

But we went to the. Sunday night, we went to Casalina.

[B]

Oh, and did he like it? You're telling me. Your boyfriend's a very picky eater.

[D]

He's so picky. I was like, oh, if he doesn't like this, this is way too expensive for me to be dropping on a thing he doesn't even like. And the whole time I'm. I'm like, he better like it. And he loved it, thankfully. And we had a great night.

[A]

You calling the restaurant by its actual name? I was like, what the fuck is that? You mean Casualina?

[B]

Yes, yes, yes.

[D]

And on top, it's so funny because they put us in the corner, which we laughed about. They're like, they're hiding the gays as a joke. And they're not. They didn't. But then, like, immediately after, they bring the only other Latino gay couple and put them right next to us. And we were like, wait, did you make friends? What's happening? Did you guys talk about it as they came? But we, like, all had a moment where we all looked at each other.

[B]

They're hiding the gay Latinas.

[D]

What is happening now? Latinas are gay.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

So there were two sets of gay Latinos.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

And we were put out of all places.

[B]

Right.

[D]

It was just funny.

[A]

And then they blew out your candles so no one could see you.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

It was great, though.

[A]

It really was. You freaky Casualina in this climate.

[B]

Well, you guys. Oh, gosh, I didn't mute that. Well, today's podcast is sponsored by SeatGeek, which, you know, I love so much. SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app with over 35 million downloads. It's so incredible. It has 70,000 events listed, and that's from concerts to music festivals, comedy shows, sporting events. Anything you want a ticket for, you can get on SeatGeek. And we're coming into a great season for concerts. There are so many incredible artists with upcoming tour dates. I'm talking Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga, Cardi B, Zara Larson, Alex Warren for Elizabeth Gordon, Demi Lovato, Ariana Grande, Olivia Dean, and so many more. And what I love about SeatGeek is they rate every ticket on a scale of 1 to 10. Look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad, and every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And you already know that SeatGeek came through for all of you guys. You can get 10% off your next set of tickets when you use our code, the SIP10. We have to go to Hillary Duff. We have a group chat, me, Lizzie, and Morgan, and we're all trying to figure out when we can get there together. And maybe we'll go to Alex Warren as well. Don't forget to use code the SIP10 for 10% off your next set of tickets. Or you can click the link in the description section below to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account. So it's right there for you whenever you're ready to buy tickets. SeatGeek, thank you for sponsoring our show. We love you so Much. Okay. Elizabeth Gordon.

[A]

Yes. Just give me one second.

[B]

Okay? Give me one second.

[A]

My husband texted and it's terrifying when you're. Oh my God. Look at my kitties. And his little rain jacket.

[C]

It.

[B]

Oh, that is super cute.

[A]

I love him.

[B]

Look at Evie is holding. Hugging my dinosaur.

[A]

It's sunny in Colorado.

[B]

I guess so.

[A]

We got to go up.

[B]

We got to go. Do you want to talk about how we booked the same dentist at the Same time but 24 hours apart?

[A]

What are the odds?

[B]

I was so excited when you told me you were coming to a dentist in Calabasas because I was like, oh, my gosh, we're going to have a play date. Our kids are going to get to hang out. Why wouldn't you ask me, like, when's your dentist appointment?

[A]

Why would I assume you had one?

[B]

Because you're coming to Calabasas. I just.

[A]

Like, why would I think you should.

[B]

Just check in and be like, you know what? We should take our kids to the dentist at the same time and then have a play date afterwards.

[A]

I didn't have an option. About when I took my kid to the dentist. Cuz it's actually a funny story. Remember I told you that Ernie had a tongue tie and that t. Tiger. That a tiger released it? Kaiser. That Kaiser released it?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They did not.

[B]

They were not successful. They tried or they attempted.

[A]

I think they just lied to my face because Ernie slept through it. And it's like, I don't know, a newborn that sleeps through someone using scissors to cut their tongue. That's crazy.

[B]

Does my breast smell?

[A]

I know.

[B]

Okay, I'm just me you're smelling. No. I feel like I can taste my bad breath. Which is weird because I mouthwashed and brushed my teeth before. Should you hand me some Listerine?

[A]

Maybe you just need to see a therapist.

[B]

I mean. Okay. Okay.

[A]

And find you one. No, two is a lot.

[B]

See? And that's why I get concerned about swallowing it. Is there a scanner on this? I was going to scan it with my app.

[A]

Okay. Anyway. Wait.

[B]

What do I need to see a therapist about specifically?

[A]

A lot of things do you want.

[B]

And you're all good.

[A]

Hold on, I'll plot my list.

[B]

And you're all good.

[A]

I didn't say I was all good. Honey, I've got a list for mean too.

[B]

Maybe we should go to couples therapy.

[A]

I would love to.

[B]

Maybe we should.

[A]

And bring Max. Cuz I've got some beef with Max that I need to work out.

[B]

I don't know why you and Max are beefing so Hard.

[A]

I don't either. Ask him.

[B]

Maybe because you were nasty to him since the second he came out.

[A]

Oh, my God. I made. I went Ride him one.

[B]

I don't know how you guys can swallow this. It's produced a lot of liquid.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I'm gonna vomit if I listen to that. In your mouth.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I'm gonna get a stomach.

[C]

I'm fragile.

[A]

Swallow it. You're making me sick.

[B]

You really. You swallow this, Chris, you're gonna do. You do two sprays and swallow it.

[A]

You're really fucking killing me.

[B]

Do you do two sprays and swallow it?

[A]

Stop talking with it in your mouth like that.

[B]

Okay, talk, Chris.

[D]

I do, but I also googled just to make sure, and it says that the manufacturer explicit, explicitly states that the Listerine mouth spray is safe to swallow, even up to three sprays, which differs from their mouth.

[A]

I'm so serious, dude. I'm gonna vomit.

[D]

So. Which differs from the mouthwash? The mouth.

[B]

I swallowed it. I swallowed it. Thank you, Christopher. Okay, I'm done.

[A]

I might.

[B]

Did you get your list of things I needed to go to therapy?

[A]

I actually have a list.

[B]

Oh, I thought you might.

[A]

No, I love you. I. I'm just teasing you, like you are about.

[B]

So Kaiser screws you.

[A]

So Kaiser didn't actually release his tongue tie, which is why my poor kid hasn't been able to breastfeed at all. And fuck Kaiser for that because honestly, screws you, too. No, they're like, you need to keep trying to feed him off your breast. Feed him off your breast, and then pump and then feed him and then feed him off your breast again. And it's like you sent me home with a baby who's physically incapable of eating off my breast. And then you told me to try and feed him off my breast, to a point of which he is starving and screaming, and I'm losing my mind.

[B]

You know what? You should have sued them. There could have been irreparable damage to your marriage, too.

[A]

No, I mean about other people who just blindly listen to doctors and are like, yes, what they said, what they said is best, and what they said is right. And this man looked me in the face and said, breast is best. And I said, so why don't you whip your titty out? You don't ever. On the way out, don't ever speak to a woman who has had a baby within a week that will not eat and is starving and tell her that breast is best, fed is best. And if the mom is losing her marbles, Fed is best. I hate you, sir. I hate you. Go swallow a knife. Let me release your tongue. Cuz I don't think you should have privileges to it anymore. Anyway, they told me they released his tongue tie even though he slept through the procedure. And then I was like, so what do I need to do? Like going forward? Like what I like when Billy got his released, I had to swipe underneath his tongue and like, do all these things. He's like, you don't have to do anything of that. And now I'm thinking, oh, did I not have to do any of that? Because you didn't release this tongue tie, you stupid line.

[B]

So what had you thinking? I should get a dentist. And how did you land on the dentist that I picked for my kids?

[A]

Ernie has had tension. His little shoulders are raised to his ears all the time. His hands are clenched all the time. His body is just like tense. And that's not what I'm used to with babies. And I'm looking into all these things. He's got cobblestone blisters on his lips, which is an indication that he's not. He's got oral dysfunction. And he's not sucking right. His tongue is covered in milk and he's plant, which means he's not clearing the milk back into his mouth. He's got no.

[B]

I should be nice to you.

[A]

Yeah, you should. And I'm sitting here after taking a damn Uber here, and you're like, look at your disgusting chin hairs, you stinky. Anyways.

[B]

No, I just miss you. I just wondering, like, when we're ever going to get to play again.

[A]

Well, we're getting close. Because the bottom line is I noticed all these things about Ernie and I was like, he has this oral dysfunction. So what do I do next? I, like, start looking into solutions. Some of the solutions are, are like cranial sacral therapy, chiropractic or whatever, Physical therapy, occupational therapy. And then I'm starting thinking to myself, like, oh, I'll ask my lactation consultant, like, what she advises. So she said, occupational therapy. Here's a woman that I highly recommend. The woman comes to my house, she starts do, like, immediately has Ernie's shoulders released from his ears. She shows me all these new things that I can do to try and nurse him. And then she goes, okay, I'm going to see how his tongue tie healed. And she cannot get her finger, even underneath his tongue a little bit. And I'm like, that's weird. She goes, you know, I don't want to like, say anything explicitly but, like, it concerns me that I can't get my finger under there, and I don't want to upset him and have him, like, re. Tense up while I try. So I think you should go see this Dr. Rumak in Calabasas and have her assess the situation. And there's also an OT and a lactation consultant over there named Angie who's fantastic. And I went in and saw her. I told her everything I've been dealing with, all the things that I've noticed. She go goes, okay, yeah, that's all indicative of a tongue tie. And I said, well, I had his tongue tie released, and it didn't do any good. She goes, you know, it's not a silver bullet. It doesn't always fix things. And then she looks at it and she goes, oh. I mean, his tongue is tied. His tongue is tied from the tip of his tongue to the bottom of his mouth. And he cannot open his mouth without bringing his tongue with him.

[B]

And what can you do? Can you call Kaiser? And, like, who the am I gonna call it Kaiser?

[A]

Everyone's on screen.

[B]

You can't get a hold of any.

[A]

No. When I'm send a message to someone that they're never going to read and send me a cut and paste. Like, yeah, go yourself. Like they said.

[B]

She then released the tongue tie.

[A]

See, the doctor, and the doctor's like, there's not even scar tissue. Like, if they had cut it even a little bit, there would be scar tissue, and there's no scar tissue.

[B]

How do you not want to find where this man lives?

[A]

Girl, I was so mad. I was.

[B]

If we were hexing people, we'd be hexing.

[A]

We. But also, I learned the three folds rule, and we don't even use the H word anymore.

[B]

Oh, what is the three folds rule?

[A]

Whatever you cast out into the world comes back to you. Three folds.

[B]

Yes, exactly. So I can't probably your three sicknesses.

[A]

Well, I mean, knock on wood, because I can't.

[B]

Who taught you that?

[A]

The Internet?

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Everybody in the group chat's been like, girl, you don't know the three fools rule. And I'm like, what? No, I don't. Obviously I don't. I live my life as though there's no rules. I piss in a bucket by my bed, and I think it's fine.

[C]

Like, that's the other thing. That's so funny. While we all had norovirus, my husband's friend was staying in our garage. Wait, we had a guy staying in the garage?

[A]

Scoring Joe's movie.

[C]

And when we all got sick. James went out to the garage, which by the way, where there's no bathroom. There's no bathroom in the garage.

[B]

It's an art studio essentially.

[A]

And so James goes out there and he goes, shut the store and don't open it for anyone for the next five days.

[C]

Literally. This guy just stayed in our garage for five days. And one time at night, Joe went out and threw him some trash bags and said, you might need these.

[B]

Why didn't he leave?

[A]

What was so fun? Cuz he's scoring the movie. He just stayed out there the whole time and scored the movie.

[B]

Where did he.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Starbucks.

[A]

Sometimes I like go in my backyard. I'm like, is that human feces or.

[B]

Is that Mr. Bob?

[A]

Yeah. And so. And I. They call him Gabousi because that's his last name. And I told the nanny like on day seven, I was like, oh, just so you know, like, there's a guy staying in the backyard. She goes, oh, Anthony.

[C]

And I went, he has a name.

[A]

But yeah, that was. That killed me for Guy. We were laughing so hard about that. We were crying.

[C]

They didn't feed him.

[A]

I think he just had beer and.

[C]

Trash bags out there for five days. Scored the entire movie.

[B]

Okay, so they cured the tongue tie?

[A]

Yeah, they used a laser. They cut the tongue tie. I'm doing all these exercises with him now between. And I have the occupational therapist coming a couple more times and he's able to latch on my breast and pull milk.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did the paperwork at that dentist make you almost want to have a mommy meltdown and jump through the roof?

[A]

They. They told me I could stop doing it.

[B]

I literally. And then for me, it was times by two and I was trying to be a prepared parent. This dentist was so lovely. Their facilities incredible. The doctors were amazing. But I was trying to do the paperwork ahead of time because I was like, oh, this is probably a nightmare.

[A]

64 pages of paper.

[B]

When I enter, the only way to get in to access the paperwork is the birthday. And it was like, you can't access this because there's two children with this birthday. And I was like, I know, they're both fucking mine. So I emailed the office and I was like, can I get access to this? And they were like, unfortunately, no, you just have to do it here. But I get there and like, my kids are aware of doctor's offices now. And Max gets scared when he gets the doctor's offices because he associates it with shots or something bad that's going to Happen. That isn't going to be fun. So Max is, like, losing his mind. And it's. I kid you not, 100 pages. And that was just for one baby. And then I was like, I honestly would rather leave than do another 100 pages because I might die.

[A]

Ernie was screaming and crying, and I was standing there bouncing him, and I'm like. And I. I was like, this is before the tongue tie was released. And it's like, I can't pump and give him milk right now to shut him up. So I'm bouncing him, and then I'm just like, well, to pacify him, I'll put him on my nipple. So then I pull my boobie out, and I'm in the. Living in the. The lobby trying to just pacify this baby and, like, fill out all this stuff on the thing. And then, like, eventually, the doctor just came out. She's like, I know you're my client. Do you want to just stop this?

[B]

Nobody saved me.

[A]

Yeah, I was like, blew my light.

[B]

Out at the table. Sit with the other gay guys. Oh, God.

[A]

They put you in the. In the.

[C]

White gay guy corner?

[B]

Yeah, they put me in the gay guy corner. And they said, you know what? You sit here and we're gonna blow the candle out. And you just finish your paperwork.

[A]

Oh, God. Sorry. You gaze. I really do have straight privilege, I guess.

[B]

You really do.

[A]

Dang.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Thank God I do. You know, some things have to go right.

[B]

No cavities for my. My kids.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do they get cavities at this age?

[B]

Yeah, they can.

[A]

Oh, what do they do, just knock the tooth out?

[B]

No, they. I think they.

[A]

Why just knock the tooth out?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Why would they do that?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Also, Billy got, like, nine teeth this weekend. He, like, woke up every day. I was like, how many teeth do you have now? Open your mouth. And he goes, no, no, no, no, no. And it's because Joe doesn't listen to me when I'm like, don't say no to him. Give him options. Give him actionable things to do. And now all my kid does is say no. Like, God, stop it. Like, just listen to me. He's like, well, there's another way.

[C]

And I'm like, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Now I. Everything is a. To a multiple choice question in my life. It's like, okay, we can do this or this. Yeah, this or this.

[A]

And no matter what, it's all I want to do. So I win no matter what. And judges goes, no, no, no, no, no. And I'm like, oh, my God. All you're doing is setting up tantrums and nothingness. Like a kid doesn't know what to do with. No, tell him what to do.

[B]

Jack got his first beasting.

[A]

Cute.

[B]

He just thought he could pick up a bee.

[A]

Who. Who doesn't think that?

[B]

And then it stung him. He just runs over, screaming, with the stinger sticking out.

[A]

Oh, that's the hard facts of life right there.

[B]

It was really devastating.

[A]

Does he know now?

[B]

I said, be no bees. And he said, now he looks at the bees and he says, no, be no bee. And then there were, like, on. It was really hot before this torrential downpour, and it was hot. We're, like, on our walks, and there were, like, all these flies, and I kept saying, stupid flies.

[C]

Stupid flies.

[B]

Flies, flies. No, no flies. No, no stupid flies.

[A]

Should we have more kids? No, no.

[B]

Yes. In. In a year and a half to two years.

[A]

No, we're done in a year and.

[B]

A half to two years.

[A]

No, Wrap it up.

[B]

We can reevaluate.

[A]

Flush those embryos down the toilet.

[B]

We're done with these terrible twos.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

Oh, there's something. Okay. And everyone says three nagers are even worse than worse.

[A]

It just keeps getting worse. That's what everyone was saying about the sickness. They're like, yeah, they're just sick and then they leave you. I was like, oh, okay, cool, cool.

[B]

And everyone's always like, don't worry, their immune system's built. Because what about my immune system?

[A]

Yeah, like, where then? Where the is my immune system? Because I've been out in these streets for 39 years.

[B]

Wow, you're old.

[A]

No, I'm not 39.

[B]

Not that 39 is old, but I was just shocked to hear that she's 39.

[A]

I'm not. Okay, I'm literally not. You know how old I. I am. We're the same age.

[B]

No, you're a total year older than me.

[A]

You're such a. Oh, my God.

[B]

Another one, another one. 47. Chris, can you please. Cunt word. You're a whole year older than me.

[A]

C U N T. Do you want.

[B]

To do these Hot Topics, or are you over it?

[A]

Yeah, no, I actually, I want to add one, and you're not going to be happy about it, but you're going to have to just live with it because you've been nasty to me all day.

[B]

Okay, well, I guess we'll just start on Valentine's Day since that's.

[A]

No, I'm going to take us back a little bit.

[B]

Oh, you okay? You lead. I want to be led.

[A]

I've been dying to tell you this. Do you know the influencer Michaela? Is it Michaela Noriega?

[B]

I only ever heard of her because she had, like, a drama or something.

[A]

Drama?

[B]

Like an eyelash drama or something? Like, she right there was like, a drama. And I never even cared enough to look into the drama because I was like, is it a drama?

[A]

The thing is, she's an. She's a makeup influencer. And then every time she influences, everyone gets mad at her for it. And it's like, this is her job. Job. Like, what do you mean?

[B]

That's a C. Like, if she's still doing it. It's been years now, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, like, they love to get mad at her. So, like, that's just what it is.

[A]

Anyway, she was sponsored by Lemmy Purr, which is the. From Courtney Kardashian. Yeah. And it supposedly makes your vagina smell good.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know why I said vagina. Like a weird 50 year old man, perfect gym coach in front of a bunch of 13 year olds. But her, she's got a vagina p. Okay, cool.

[B]

So I thought you were gonna talk about the divorce.

[A]

I'm getting there, girl. What is wrong with you?

[C]

You ruined fucking everything. Get outside.

[A]

Stand in the fucking torrential downpour.

[B]

The second time, she wants me to put me in torrential downpour. Timeout.

[A]

Okay, so she's sponsored by Lemmy Purr. And you know how, like, when we get a brand deal, they're like, do your personal thing. Like, talk about your personal connection to the product. And it's like, yeah, of course. Like, I do have a personal connection to these products.

[B]

Like, I have a vagina. Yeah.

[A]

Michaela straight up goes on there and she goes, guys, I'm really embarrassed to share this with you, but I've never been eaten out.

[B]

Honestly, I love it.

[C]

How.

[D]

How.

[B]

How authentic.

[C]

She's married. I mean, he's never eaten her out.

[B]

You don't give your husband blowjobs.

[A]

I used to. How do you think I got a husband?

[B]

And then you get married. Never again.

[A]

Never again. You never need to have sex again.

[B]

You just grow the chin hairs and.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, like it's that big of a shock.

[A]

I brought it up to Joe the other day. I was like, so listen, baby, I've got these chin hands and I've got these hairs coming out the side of my face. We gotta find my tweezers. He's like, all you had to say was, we have to find My tweezers. Why did you have to say the other stuff?

[C]

And I'm like, why do you have to be a. About the other stuff now?

[A]

What the.

[C]

Does someone help me? Oh, my God. I had your babies.

[A]

So she says, I've never been eaten out.

[B]

And then I'm gonna need to see this clip. Not right now, but I'm gonna. I'm gonna do some living.

[A]

And then. And the next day. Not the next day, but, like, the next thing I see from her is you guys. I'm getting into boys.

[C]

I just thought it was funny.

[B]

Is there. Is it. Is her husband gay? Or is that, like.

[A]

People keep saying that if he goes.

[B]

To catch you, Lena, are they going to put him in the corner and blow out his candle?

[A]

They might. They might. I don't know, but people are saying that.

[B]

I mean, if he's. She's never been eaten out before. I don't know.

[A]

I mean, I just.

[B]

Every gay guy eat their boyfriend's ass. I. I don't know.

[A]

Do you eat your boyfriend's ass?

[B]

Do you have to?

[A]

Do you.

[B]

Do you have to?

[A]

I'm asking you, do you have to?

[C]

You're like, when can I stop?

[A]

I'd love to. Not have to.

[B]

I'm not sponsored by. Let me ass. I don't need to reveal these things.

[A]

Let me ask you a question.

[B]

I'm not being paid to talk about ass eating.

[A]

Are you saying no one's ever eaten your ass?

[B]

Oh, no, my ass is eating.

[C]

My ass been ate.

[B]

Okay, this isn't about me. This is about Michaela.

[A]

Well, rip Michaela's marriage.

[B]

Oh. Was she sad about it?

[A]

She seemed.

[B]

Or is she like, is this new life? I just.

[A]

I don't know. But I hope she's getting her ate. That's all I'm gonna say about that. It was so gnarly just to hear her be like, I have never been eat out.

[B]

What a great brand deal.

[A]

I mean, she's like, because I'm waiting to taste bad. And it's like.

[B]

So she thinks these pills are going to get her eaten out, or maybe.

[A]

They'Ll just give her the confidence she needs to allow someone to eat her out. But now she's. I don't know.

[B]

Okay. I did. I. I was like, scrolling reals. I don't follow her or anything, but I just saw the. You guys are going to need to sit down for this.

[A]

Yeah. I'm getting a divorce. Why are we doing her voice so bad? It's, like, very.

[B]

I literally have never consumed anything of hers other than that clip. And I didn't even make it through the divorce announcement.

[A]

I don't know how I would announce my divorce. Well, like, I'd like to think, like, not that I'm planning one, but if I were to have one, like, would you announce your divorce or would we just be divorced?

[B]

I mean, I think it would be. I think it would. Like, when Aspen Ovard got a divorce, it was being reported on. Because divorce filings are public.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And people love.

[A]

Yours would be in People magazine.

[B]

People love drama. I. I mean, I think people would talk about it.

[A]

I think I'd have to announce my divorce because nobody would care.

[B]

I'd have to be like, this is really bad.

[A]

Sit down, you guys.

[C]

Nobody asked.

[B]

Sit down. Thing was weird. It's like, who's. Not many people are standing scrolling social media. Unless you're like, in line at the dmv, but even then, like, do I need to sit for somebody else's divorce announcement?

[A]

Me and my vlog. Are you standing? Find a seat.

[C]

You're not going to believe.

[A]

Believe this. My husband, that I complain about composite compulsively on the Internet, who I also claim to love and who's also great. We've called it quits.

[B]

He has eaten my.

[A]

He. He eats this like. It's Panda Express. I don't know, like a buffet. You know, like a buffet where you like that. Panda Express.

[B]

No pussy eating. Not yourself, but receiving.

[A]

I would never eat a. Oh, I'm gonna.

[B]

I'm gonna go on record. Lesbian thing you've ever said.

[A]

I would literally never eat a.

[B]

Okay. Any other hot topics?

[A]

Yes. A Norwegian would. The Internet keeps calling him a bi athlete, which I'm confused by because I think he's just a skier. Okay, so a Norwegian. It's the Winter Olympics.

[B]

Oh, I know. I saw. I. Isla. What? Ilia. They're all named Iliad Place.

[A]

Are they all named Ilia or is there just one guy named Ilia?

[B]

Only him and Hudson and Heated Rivalry.

[A]

Oh. I honestly thought there were multiple Ilias in the.

[B]

I mean, maybe there are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I'm just saying, like, it also is the same name as the guy in Heated Rivalry.

[A]

It's an icy. It's an ice sport name.

[B]

Yes. It's like.

[A]

Yeah, and he came in, but he did a. He did a. A back tuck on the ice.

[B]

I mean, he's incredible. I think the pressure.

[A]

Incredible enough.

[B]

No, he really is incredible. The pressure just got to him. O. Yeah. I mean, the. Even before the Olympics, he was doing things that nobody's ever done Before.

[A]

But maybe he just wasn't getting his ass eaten enough.

[B]

Maybe not. Maybe he didn't have a Hudson counterpart.

[A]

Sad.

[B]

Who turns out to be straight.

[A]

Super sad. We can't all be so lucky. But I was gonna say the biathlete that's Norwegian won like third place in something. And then they're like, how are you doing? Like, how do you feel about it? And he's like, you know, on this really great day where I've done a great thing, I'm very sad. And I'm very sad because I cheated on the love of my. My life. I cheated on her and I lost her. I was with her for six months and three months in, I slept with somebody else. And so because of that, I'm having a very hard time and I cannot celebrate this right now without the love of my life. And then she came out and was.

[B]

Like, it was a guy. Yeah, he cheated on her with a guy.

[A]

No, he cheated on her with someone else. Just someone else.

[B]

Okay, so how do we know he's a biathlete?

[A]

That's just what they're calling him. I don't think it's a sexuality.

[C]

It has to do with sports that he does. He's not. It's not his sexuality.

[B]

Wait, what?

[C]

It's not that he's a bisexual athlete. It's just that the athlete thing that.

[A]

They call him as a biathlete.

[C]

That's why I said.

[A]

But I think he just. I think he just skis. I don't know why.

[B]

So he's not gay?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, don't buy.

[A]

Erase him either.

[B]

This story just got way less interesting to me.

[A]

Anyways, she came out and she was like, I don't want no scrub. A scrub is a guy who can't get no love for me. And he was like, okay. And he just keeps winning third place and things. And every time he wins third place and things, they're like, the bi athlete who admitted to cheating on his girlfriend won another shitty, unnotable medal. But he has like three, like eight third place medals now. And every time it's the. The cheating biathlete from Norway. Like, I think it's very funny to be. No. Like, no one's dropping his, like, what's his name? His name is one of those, like, super Norwegian names where you, like, can't say it.

[B]

Okay, so Hudson Williams, star of heated rivalry hard launched his girlfriend on Valentine. Valentine's Day.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

How do you feel about that?

[A]

I don't buy it.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

No, it actually, honestly, I do.

[B]

It Was always. Connor was the. Always the one that felt gay to me. Is he gay? Like.

[A]

Yeah, Connor's gay. Connor's story, very gay.

[B]

I mean, he acts gay on the. I mean, I'm just saying he's like dancing around in those Speedos where you can see his entire penis. I will also say, like, gyrating in them. And it's like, it just seems a little gay if you're not.

[A]

I'm sorry. No, he's gay.

[B]

Well, I don't think you know that.

[A]

I know that.

[B]

Watch. Next Valentine's Day, he hard lunches his girlfriend.

[A]

But I think he transcends sexuality in a way that makes straights and gays and buys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Happy about him?

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Just being in the room is like a.

[B]

Of course. Does it make you believe he did rivalry less now that Hudson straight?

[A]

I mean, Hudson's been straight the whole time. What I was going to say is in real life, Hudson's hotter than Connor. Like, his sexiness is different than Connor's publicly.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And on the show, Connor's more sexy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I think it's the difference of a haircut.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Anyway, Hudson being down to publicly post his girlfriend, like, that ups his sex appeal.

[B]

Well, he was probably just sick of it. He was probably just sick of being. I don't know, he really sexualized in a way that, I mean, he still will be, but I don't know. It would be hard. Like, I. It's almost. He might be the first ever that like, has to come out as straight.

[A]

No, he's been straight the whole time.

[B]

No, I know, but it's like the Internet wasn't sure.

[A]

I don't. He plays into it. Like, I've seen him in interviews where they're like, what kind of freaky are your fans?

[B]

Because the show like. Right, but they're like, that's what I'm saying. And so now he probably does feel some sort of pressure to come out as straight.

[A]

No, listen, in interviews, they're like, what kind of freaky stuff are your. Your fans saying in the comments? And Connor's like, oh, my God, it's too freaky for me to say. And Hunter or Hudson goes, not freaky enough for me. I want to be gagged. Like, he plays into it.

[B]

Yeah, no, he's funny. Yeah, he's very funny.

[A]

Very funny. I just. I think it ups the sex appeal that he's down to go pub.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Meanwhile, the other two stars of the show are speculated to be dating the one that I couldn't, you know, I was so into the show, and then I finished the show and I was done. Isn't that so weird? Like, no, that's like, it's like when I watch Big Brother. And not that I don't like the people anymore, but I'm, like, invested in this story and these people, like, in, like, an unhealthy way, and then it ends. And, like, if I saw that, like, I still appreciated them. It's not like they're dead to me. It's just like, I, I, I, like, closed a chapter. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, it's like.

[A]

So you're not coming back for season two?

[B]

I don't know. I'll be back for season two, and I hope that it keeps. But I'm not. Like, I don't need to see their every move outside of the show. Like, I loved their characters, but I don't, I don't know.

[A]

I personally like them in real life more than I like their characters. And I would love to see Connor Story reprise Patrick Swayze's role in Dirty Dancing. I would love to see either of them do fucking well.

[B]

They're both so talented.

[A]

They're both so stupid hot and charismatic and seemed so genuinely kind that I do. It's like, you know, we. I want to see them. I want to see them go the distance.

[B]

Me too. Yeah. And I think they will. I mean, they've. If they make good decisions right now, they will.

[A]

I really do think they should put Connor Story in as the Dirty Dancing guy because he, like, honestly, he transcends sexuality there. Are there more stories?

[B]

Oh, Northwest.

[A]

Northwest went on a shopping spree at Alexander Wang and he himself showed up to, like, sell her and her girlfriend's things. She also came out with a new song called Hand Piercings and then boasted to show, like, 12 piercings in her. Her hands. Like dermal piercings.

[B]

And are they fake?

[A]

I thought maybe, but honestly, I don't think so.

[B]

Probably cleaner than me. I bet they're not infected.

[A]

They're like dermal piercings in her. In her skin, on her hands.

[B]

All right, you guys. Well, today's podcast is sponsored by HelloFresh, which is so incredible. It takes the stress out of mealtime for me and my family in a way that I can't thank enough. And I do have to say now, nothing hits quite like home cooking, which I typically can't execute on myself. But I do appreciate a good home cooked meal, and I can achieve all that with hellofresh because they deliver all the groceries right to My door with step by step instructions on how to do it. And they're not that hard. Like there's something a non professional can execute.

[A]

There's pictures you don't even have to.

[B]

Read and they taste delicious.

[A]

Delicioso.

[B]

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[A]

Yeah, I recently made their broccoli cheddar.

[B]

Risotto that really will help you beat the winter blues.

[A]

Yeah, it hits.

[B]

Oh my gosh.

[A]

And it's a. It's a hit for everyone too. Like from my ancient husband to my 16 month child.

[B]

Well, when dinner tastes this good, nothing beats home cooking. And hellofresh has of course come through for all of you. You guys, right now you can go to hellofresh.com the sip10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free Zwilling knife which is $145 value that comes in your third box. That's hellofresh.com thesip10fm to get 10 free meals PLUS a free Zwilling knife on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. Oh hell yeah.

[D]

2 Take one common mark.

[E]

This is a rough angle.

[B]

Okay. Is it really bad?

[D]

It's just shooting.

[B]

Up. Do you want. I wonder if I. Oh, we can probably rate prop it up on something.

[A]

If I don't have some of this smoothie soon, I'm gonna die.

[B]

Well, I gotta know what's in it. Hold on, hold on. What's their names? Cat.

[A]

Yeah, you tell us.

[B]

Cat's eye, bro.

[A]

It's literally spelled Cat's eye.

[C]

K A T. He was.

[B]

Thought it was somebody. Are you kidding me? I spent.

[C]

He was like let's get that cat eye.

[B]

I spell cat with a C personally.

[E]

Yeah, but it's.

[C]

It's Cat's eye.

[B]

Okay, so.

[E]

And that's not the part you fucked up.

[B]

Okay. The Gabriella smoothie by Cat's Eye, $22. It has all of these things that we'll put on screen in it. Here, Here. So I guess the base is coconut milk. Coconut water, raw coconut yogurt, honey, cherry, pineapple, mango, banana. Beet juice. Oh, they had to ruin it with beet juice.

[A]

Beet juice is great.

[B]

I hate beet juice. Saffron, ashwagandha.

[A]

He can pronounce that, but not.

[E]

I don't know if he nailed that one.

[B]

Pitai pit. Ayah and coconut cream. P, I, T, A, Y, A. Do you know what it is?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay, so then I'd like to see you try. No. Okay, so Chris can have his own.

[D]

My own?

[B]

Well, yeah. And then we can split this one up. Oh, you're gonna let me divvy.

[A]

Should we not trust him?

[B]

I don't know that you should trust me, but I wanted to make sure he gets some of that, like, signature pink in the.

[E]

That's okay.

[B]

I don't really care that much. Oh.

[E]

Oh, you're gonna do way too much.

[B]

Sorry.

[E]

That's okay.

[B]

It is beautiful.

[A]

Beautiful.

[D]

Do you want to run and get another cup and I can split this one?

[B]

No, it's okay.

[A]

Ain't nobody got time for that. Okay.

[B]

Do you have a straw? Okay.

[D]

Thank you very much.

[B]

You're welcome. Thank you, good people. At Erewhon, I was kind of embarrassing.

[E]

Because I. Oh, big reaction there.

[A]

I was really excited about this, and it's very pretty.

[B]

It didn't stand. Do you want me to not lie to you? Oh, Shane ordered it with dinner last night, and I had a very negative reaction, too. What's the awful taste, though?

[E]

Why does that taste so bad?

[A]

It's like raisins.

[B]

What did they. Well, there's dates.

[A]

I think it's the saffron. I think saffron it up. And then I also think, oh, no.

[C]

Maybe the beet juice.

[B]

It made me have to sneeze. It's the beet juice. See, I was right.

[D]

I love it.

[B]

No, you don't. It's the beet juices. Which one did you drink out of? Ms. Noro?

[D]

No, like, I love it.

[A]

No, it's bad.

[E]

I had, like, a.

[B]

It has a lot of good ingredients, but there is, like, a weird.

[A]

Yeah, dates are a weird thing in it too.

[B]

No.

[A]

Why did they do this?

[B]

It's not the dates. Because dates are really good in a smoothie. Actually, not with.

[A]

Not with fruits. Dates are like a creamy chocolate, like.

[B]

With the chocolate peanut butter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that. But there's like a south.

[E]

Coconut water is Pretty gross.

[B]

It's the coconut water. But you like coconut water.

[A]

I put coconut water in all my smoothies and it's never like this.

[B]

So do we need to go in and get lunch?

[D]

Yeah, I understand that I'm the problem, but this is, like, delicious.

[B]

I mean, it doesn't make you a problem.

[D]

I love it.

[E]

It's not designed to be gross, but.

[B]

I don't know that I've ever had a super negative reaction to one of them.

[A]

I was lit on it. I was thinking, oh, dang, I wish I'd ordered one for myself.

[B]

Well, you can order a different one. And they did remove Hailey Bieber from the Hailey Bieber smoothie. I think they just didn't. How dare they continue paying her royalties on it.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I mean, I don't know that I'm making up drama, but they do.

[A]

That's the tea.

[B]

They quietly removed her name.

[A]

That's some tea in the G. That's.

[B]

Some tea in the G right there. Period. Show them. That is, in fact, some tea in the G. We've got to spill tea and. Oh, I don't even ever think we introduced this segment. What they get like. Because I was after something.

[A]

Oh, we're at Air 1. We're trying the. Hey, Sam.

[B]

We're trying the cat's eye smoothie at Airwater.

[E]

My favorite cat's eye song, Ireland.

[B]

Oh, there's just so many singing for us, honestly, you know which one I like the most, Spencer? That one that they performed at the Grammys. It was just. Did they perform so good at the Grammys that I just thought, I gotta go get their smoothie at Erewhan, period.

[A]

You know what else I love about Alex Horn? Someone asked him what his favorite something song was, like, in a different language. And he had, like, seven different artists that he was like, genuinely like, oh, I love this song by so and so. And this song by that guy. And. And.

[E]

And you like that or you don't like that?

[B]

I liked it.

[A]

It seemed genuine as fuck too. Is that lotion?

[B]

No, it's hand sanitizer.

[A]

Look at how dry my knuckles are.

[B]

That's because you're using hand sanitizer.

[A]

No, it's not. I'm just washing obsessively because my family has norovirus. Right.

[B]

Well, that was a week ago, so don't scare Spencer and Chris.

[A]

I mean, never say never. That could circle back.

[D]

Okay, Spencer and I have to go.

[E]

I'm glad you poured mine out into a different cup.

[A]

Yeah, in this car, we're all fucked.

[E]

Cheers to that.

[B]

Cheers to getting fucked.

[D]

Happy Valentine's Day.

[B]

Are you familiar with Cat's Eye?

[D]

No.

[B]

Oh. Oh, but I love this.

[E]

Do you like K Pop?

[B]

I don't really know.

[D]

A ton of it. What I've heard is fun, but I don't really know enough.

[B]

Okay, let's go get lunch, period. I'm gonna get their chili. What are you guys gonna eat?

[A]

I don't know that well enough.

[B]

You said you wanted their soup.

[A]

Yeah, I just want soup, period.

[B]

Okay, well, they have soups and they have cornbread, too.

[A]

Great. Awesome. I love cornbread. Why are we fucking fighting?

[B]

What are you going to get?

[D]

No, I got to see what they have.

[B]

Okay, let's go see.

[A]

You're the membership.

[E]

You, like, know the menu.

[A]

You're the guy with the tote bags.

[B]

Me? Yeah.

[E]

And, like, socks.

[B]

An eran girl.

[A]

He gatekeeps everything, too. He's such a. My family's been sick as hell for months. And this goes. Why don't you take all these supplements that my family's on that I've been taking for months and months and we never get sick.

[B]

I am out of my echinacea and elderberry, so I'm going to get that in there, period.

[A]

And you know who else is going to get sick?

[E]

How does he get.

[D]

How does that.

[E]

Gatekeeping.

[A]

He just doesn't tell me anything.

[B]

She's dying of sickness and I'm like, over here with my vitamins. Healthy as can be. Knock on wood.

[A]

Those vitamins that you take six of will not save you from norovirus.

[B]

Well, yeah, I don't think anything will. I.

[E]

So that hand sanitizer won't even save.

[B]

You just down right now.

[A]

It's got to be bleach.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Or what, you just wash your hands?

[A]

No, it's got to be bleach. It's incorrect.

[B]

No.

[A]

Google it right now. Google it. It's bleach. It's got to be bleach. Google it. I had it to put pork bleach.

[B]

Okay, well, I'm very.

[E]

I don't know if that was. I don't know if you handled that correctly.

[B]

I didn't really love this movie.

[C]

Wait, I have a really funny story.

[B]

What is that?

[E]

Perfect.

[C]

Okay, so we all know I used to be a raging alcoholic, right?

[B]

Oh, yes, we know.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You're working a program.

[A]

Oh, wait, hold on.

[B]

You're not. Hold on.

[C]

I'm dying of laughter. Okay, so in college.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[C]

What? I'm in the middle of a fucking story.

[B]

It's just Ironic that.

[C]

Shut up.

[B]

An air freshener is right next to two French fries down there.

[A]

Super ironic. Tell Oannis Morse no one else cares. Okay, so in college, there was this guy named Neil, and he was the president of a frat. And one night I woke up after a blackout, and I had bleach all over my sweatshirt. Like, bleach stains. And I was like, oh, my God. And for a second, I had, like, a bare. I had a little glimpse of, like, a blackout memory of, like, I think Neil threw bleach at me. What a psychopath I was. And forever, for 10 years, anyone who would listen, I was like, no, Neil sucks. Like, he's a serial killer. He threw bleach at me one night. I was trying to drink the bleach.

[C]

Because I thought it was alcohol, and Neil was trying to save my life.

[B]

You are in such dire need of chasing a drunk.

[C]

Knocked the fucking bleach out of my hand and got it on my sweatshirt. And I've been telling everyone for a decade, he tried to kill me by throwing bleach at me.

[E]

And he was, like, politely not bringing it up to you afterwards.

[B]

Signage.

[C]

I told Haley, my friend.

[B]

I called Haley.

[A]

I was like, no, Neil's a psychopath.

[C]

You threw bleach at me.

[A]

And she went, what are you talking about? And I was like, well, one night I woke up, and I had bleach stains all over my sweatshirt. Liz, you were gonna drink the bleach.

[C]

And Neil knocked it out of your hands at the last minute.

[E]

Well, shout out to Neil.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you so much.

[C]

I'm so sorry about that.

[B]

Shout out to sobriety, period. How many years now? A lot.

[A]

I haven't had alcohol since I was 22.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

With you?

[E]

Only three years.

[B]

I had my last drum.

[A]

Thank you. You were my last drunk.

[B]

What was the night?

[A]

My birthday. Oh, yeah.

[B]

That caused a lot of trauma.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wasn't even really drunk.

[A]

I was.

[B]

And I got. I got shunned from the household for throwing that party that I didn't throw.

[A]

It was a good house to be shunned from.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Period.

[B]

Okay. All right, let's go get lunch. We'll be back.

[D]

Is there a napkin, by any chance?

[A]

No.

[B]

There might be.

[D]

All right, you take two common mic.

[B]

And we're back with our lunch. Wow. You got an aot.

[A]

You are so funny.

[B]

That's literally the juice I get all day every. It's really.

[A]

Can you open it?

[B]

It's. You just lift up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yep. Do you like, like, strong. The ginger strong?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

She's strong. What did you grow up lid back on? You just push Spencer.

[E]

Well, Lizzie copied my meal but that's okay.

[B]

She did.

[A]

I got carrots instead of.

[B]

You're right.

[E]

And brussels sprouts. All right, we got Mac and cheese, brussels sprouts and steak. A real square meal.

[D]

I got miso, salmon belly, Mac and cheese and seasonal vegetables.

[B]

When you say salmon belly it makes it sound worse.

[D]

Does it?

[B]

I love salmon but it makes it sound too real.

[E]

But that's like supposed be to the best part of it.

[A]

Like tender and buttery.

[B]

It does look delicious. The way that they season. That looks incredible for free. They gave us four sigmatic coffee made smarter. Don't know what that is.

[E]

Stupid.

[D]

Would anyone like a bite of the miso salmon?

[A]

No, thank you.

[B]

Thank you. I got one of the sliders and a Japanese sweet potato and Mac and cheese.

[A]

I am interested in your sweet potatoes.

[B]

Have you never had. Do you not like or do you like sweet potato?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You can take a bite of it.

[A]

But have you seen everybody?

[B]

I don't trust you anymore. Have I seen everybody?

[A]

What? Eating the sweet potato with the butter cheese in it.

[B]

No. Oh, where they stick a whole thing of butter on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's so good. I love the sweet potato so much.

[A]

That is good.

[B]

It's like perfectly crispy on the outside.

[A]

The steak too?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

The salmon is incredible.

[B]

I feel like you got the wrong Mac and cheese. This one's gluten free but I like it better.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Do you want me to fork foot some? Yeah. Okay. Watch your sick.

[E]

You might be right because she was like, which one? Like when I asked her this one, I was like, oh, maybe I got the wrong one.

[B]

It is odd that the gluten free one in my opinion is better.

[E]

This one's still good.

[B]

I like the old school. Really? Okay, now that I have it, can I take a bite?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've never had them side by side, I guess, but I do feel like I prefer the gluten free one. It's. No, it is nice. I feel like the gluten free one though is just a little more like the texture of. It's a little more creamy.

[A]

It's more like a mash.

[B]

I love them both.

[A]

The steak hard.

[B]

Oh, you got the original too. Oh, you got the original too. All of you losers got the original.

[E]

No, it looked good.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

I like the shells.

[B]

Dang.

[A]

Oh my God, my ears ringing.

[B]

Do you think we're gonna have tinnitus?

[A]

I have it.

[B]

I already do.

[A]

I do too.

[B]

I Get small spurts, but it never lasts more than like 30 seconds.

[E]

Supposedly if you tap like the bone behind your ear, it helps it go away.

[B]

Really? Yeah.

[D]

Mine's just always there, but.

[B]

Oh, it is. You already have it permanently? Yeah.

[E]

Damn.

[B]

Oh, no. Cuz she's a punk rocker. They do have. They do have like. It looks like a hearing aid, but it like, it mutes the noise of it.

[D]

I think because I have it all the time, I just forget about it.

[B]

You're accustomed to it until it's like.

[D]

Quiet or I'm like thinking about it and then I. Then it's really annoying. But for the most part, I forget about it. All the doctors did was like, here's an app that has a sound that'll help you forget about it. And it did nothing for me.

[B]

But you just leave it open everywhere you are. Yeah. You're supposed to walk around with your app playing. Yeah. That's crazy. What is that place? Rinse. It's brand new.

[E]

Rinse.

[A]

It's pronounced rhymes.

[B]

I did also see some. Somebody like on Instagram. Instagram reel saying there's a new breakfast spot in this. In this place that looks. The food looked really good.

[A]

What was it called? Rhymes.

[B]

No, I think it's next to that. So there must be two new places. We'll go check it out on our way out. Not like get out of the car, but we'll drive. We'll do a drive by, see what's going on there.

[A]

Oh, it's very spicy.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

This is not like a drink to drink with lunch.

[B]

No.

[A]

I thought it was gonna be like apple juice.

[B]

I get one and drink it over the course of like four days. Days. And I like, gargle.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And then my kids think it's really funny when I gargle it.

[E]

I'm pretty sure rinse is just like a dry cleaner.

[B]

Oh, really? Do you see the breakfast spot? Are you on Google right now?

[D]

I usually know this is one of the better salmons I've ever had.

[B]

Okay. Maybe I do need a different fork and take a different. A different side.

[E]

You got plenty of forks.

[B]

We do.

[D]

Maybe it's just me, but I love a. In general, I like a miso salmon.

[B]

But this one's like, I do love salmon.

[A]

I like a miso glazed cod.

[D]

You know, that's the very end there. You gotta get into the meat.

[B]

I don't mind the end because it's.

[D]

Like the most cooked.

[B]

Well, I like. I. I don't mind if it's not cooked, but I like the crispy edges. Nice. See?

[D]

I see, I see. What do you think? Is it just me?

[B]

Oh no. That is really good.

[D]

Right?

[B]

That's very fishy, but it's really good. All right, now I just have two forks. What's the favorite part of your meal, Spencer?

[E]

Honestly, I think it's the Mac and cheese. Despite you being a hater.

[B]

I'm not a hater of it. I think I just prefer the gluten free version. But I do love their slider.

[A]

What do you love about their slider?

[B]

I love it all. It's two pieces of meat, two pieces of cheese, and the sauce on it is really incredible.

[E]

Do you like to watch this sort of thing?

[B]

Well, I don't know.

[E]

I was just wondering.

[B]

They're just eating lunch with us at this point.

[E]

Sometimes when I'm doing this, I'm like.

[C]

What are we doing?

[B]

Well, actually last week when we were eating Shake Shack Shack, some people were like, I kind of like that they're just eating lunch.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think because people like to. Some people.

[A]

Just fast forward to this part. Which is why I'm being quiet so you can enjoy it. No.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

Thank you very much. Thank you guys. Thank Lizzy in the comments.

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

She's so thoughtful. She really is a thoughtful woman.

[A]

Shout out in the comments if I've ever accused you of throwing bleach at me.

[B]

She's walking back into Air1, talking to Spencer. Like, I wonder how many other people I've just been on on their name forever without knowing that they were actually trying to do something nice to me.

[A]

Oops.

[B]

You really are a movie character.

[C]

I wish she meant that in a nice way.

[B]

No, it is. It was very nice. Like I would get bored if I had a friend. Like if my friend was boring, would that be fun? No. No. I'd much rather watch you spiral into nastiness than have to do it myself.

[E]

What a beautiful friendship.

[B]

Because there's a nasty girl inside of me. I just try to push her down. You really do? Uh huh.

[A]

Nasty girl lives inside you.

[B]

Like Samara in the well, she comes out.

[A]

She does and she takes lives and.

[B]

Oh wow. All right, well, I guess we'll finish eating in silence. We'll all. Just as Spencer requested.

[A]

Yeah, a private dining experience for Spencer.

[E]

Can I just like hear more of everyone chewing?

[B]

He just wants to be alone right now. He just wants to be with his own thoughts. But I hope you had fun today. We had fun with you.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[B]

What?

[A]

How is Spencer's Valentine's Day day?

[B]

Well, that was nasty.

[A]

Oh, why?

[B]

I mean, maybe he had a great.

[E]

Date on Valentine's Day.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I feel like you're kind of a Casanova, Spencer.

[B]

Well, that's what I, I, I also asked him then he was like, no, Valentine's Day is the worst time to have a first date. Or like, yeah, that's a terrible time.

[E]

To go on a date with someone you don't.

[B]

Honestly, Valentine's Day is a terrible time to do anything. Even when I went out in the world just to get the boys some fun things. It's a nightmare because everybody wants to be out doing something special to, to do something special.

[E]

Every restaurant's booked out, every bar is.

[B]

Every parking lot's in. Color Me Mine was booked super. Like customer service is worse because they're slammed.

[E]

Yeah. Any activity you're.

[B]

I even day of I was like, maybe I should take my family to like a fun beach resort. Everything was completely booked. I was like, I'm not going to a hotel if it's completely booked.

[A]

You were gonna take your whole family? Wow, that's very big of you.

[B]

I was, I wanted to go to Wood. He doesn't want to take his kids.

[A]

With him on the trip.

[B]

Well, no, I want to have a vacation where I just 100 relax and Lizzie's very much so like, no, take your kids. I was like, well, that's not a vacation. That's just life parenting in a different location.

[A]

Kids get really cute at a hotel.

[B]

Yeah, I have two of them, but.

[A]

They hit resort mode and it's awesome.

[B]

I don't know. I mean, I'm down to try. They're just two different things. In, in my world it's okay. In my world they're two different things. Right. It's a vacation and then like going somewhere with my family.

[E]

Well, this is why people go to like all inclusive resorts because yeah, they take your kids and do activities with.

[B]

Them all day and both can be fun. But like, I also have been craving just like a vacation, right? Just a break, you know?

[A]

You deserve a break.

[E]

You guys are both you and Shane.

[A]

You need a fucking break.

[E]

I need a vacation.

[B]

Yeah. No, even last night, Shane finally broke and was like, we're going somewhere for like, Shane never does that. It's always me. And he was like, like, we have to go somewhere for our anniversary. And I was like, yeah, you've been.

[A]

Doing way too much.

[B]

So should I come with you?

[A]

No, cuz that's not a vacation.

[B]

No, because you're going to say you're you would be a vacation. But you'd say, I'm just going to have my. My two children with me. And I'm like, no, no children.

[C]

I'm just going to bring my barnacle.

[B]

Urn, we can also plan a child vacation. That's fine. It's just a different thing, you know.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

Dude, I would love to.

[A]

I'd love to introduce you to babies and resort mode.

[E]

Comment down below. Where do you want to see Ryland and Lizzy go?

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Is that a write off ship trip? Sure.

[A]

Period. Comment in the below.

[B]

I. I'm so down. We could have like a fun. Yeah, okay.

[D]

Anyway, anyone in the comments celebrated Sancho Day?

[B]

What is that, Chris?

[D]

That's the day after Valentine's Day where he takes on the side piece.

[B]

Did you celebrate Chris?

[A]

I did not.

[D]

But I was just wondering.

[E]

I bet you have more side pieces than side piecers in your comments.

[B]

Oh, like that's interesting.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[E]

Like, they are the side piece.

[A]

Is that a diss?

[B]

What are you trying to say about it? I didn't mean it as one.

[A]

It's feeling like a dis.

[B]

We're all offended now, Spencer, like, literally.

[A]

Like, what are you trying to hide about us?

[B]

And we were just going to promote your Instagram.

[E]

We promote my Instagram all the time and it does not need to be promoted.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I was like, what does that mean?

[E]

It's just the only thing I have that Rylan can say when he says.

[B]

Something for everyone else.

[A]

And Spencer has an Instagram.

[B]

You know, Spencer is doing the sip out of the kindness of his heart. So I'm like, how should I repay him?

[E]

I get lunch.

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna say Spencer's doing.

[C]

The sip for lunch.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, Erewhon's an expensive lunch, so not.

[E]

Like the time I ate the four patty stack. I felt so sick that day.

[B]

Yeah, this is probably the least sick. We'll fill eating somewhere.

[A]

I've never been so happy with a lunch in my life. Like, I might order this for my dinner tonight.

[B]

It's really nice. The only problem is you. I mean, you just can't get it yourself. The air one in Studio City fucking sucks.

[A]

Will they deliver to my house?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then I'm gonna order it.

[B]

Okay, well, make sure to subscribe to Chris. He's posting every Friday and you have been consistent. I'm proud of you.

[D]

Now that you said that you're not.

[B]

Gonna do one this week.

[D]

I changed it to every other Friday going forward.

[B]

Every other still that's fine. I mean, still, consistency is good. But thank you for being proud of me. And thank you for the idea. I can only post every other week on my vlog channel. And you also. It's not like it's your only job. You're not only vlogging, you're doing other things. But it's there. It's listed in the description section below. Lizzie's been posting twice a week. Crazy.

[A]

I got a little bit tripped up because of the norovirus, but.

[B]

Oh, okay. And I should have a new video going out soon if all goes well, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And, guys, I. I do have an Instagram.

[B]

He does, in fact, have an Instagram.

[A]

Spencer. You can find Spencer on Hinge Instagram. And where else are you? Are you on Tinder?

[B]

Mm.

[E]

I'm on all the dating.

[B]

And it's all at being Bernard.

[A]

Banging Bernard.

[B]

All right, you guys, well, thank you for watching and enjoying our show. We love you so much. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. And that's the sip. Toodaloo. Put it in your mouth or my mouth is full. Put in your mouth.