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Lizzie
Oh, my God. Lizzie's always trying to ruin business relationships for me.
Chris
Lock it in.
Lizzie
And how has that been for your mental state?
Rylan
Really nice.
Chris
Do they know I make the thumbnails and how horrible it is?
Rylan
How horrible? One of my friends doctored a doctor's note for me.
Lizzie
I always suck his balls. Wow. Whatever Lizzie is doing, Chris and I are loving.
Rylan
It's three different shades of blush.
Lizzie
Oh, no, I'm talking about your sexy librarian do's.
Rylan
Oh, my hair.
Lizzie
Wanna take one? Mark, every time I've seen you lately, it's a new, like, clipped up do that is sickening. Stunning, gorgeous and beautiful.
Rylan
Thank you.
Lizzie
Even my nanny this morning was like, you look good.
Rylan
It's so funny that you're bringing this up because I have, like, you added to the document. I'm in a hair transition.
Lizzie
What?
Rylan
I know.
Lizzie
Nobody can tell when it's clipped up gorgeous.
Rylan
Well, that's why it's clipped up gorgeous.
Lizzie
I wish I could clip mine up gorgeous.
Rylan
I'm sure you can now.
Lizzie
I don't think I can. I tried. I tried putting it in a bun last night because it's so soft. It's shapeless though, right now. And it's.
Rylan
You've got shape. It's a little wavy.
Lizzie
I think it's a little shapeless. But I asked my hair stylist if she could come to me, but she's currently moving, so I have to wait two weeks for a haircut. So it just is what it is until period, she can come see me. So what's your hair transition?
Rylan
My transition is. I'm wondering, do I go back to my shoulder length? Because I keep seeing all, like, these pictures, like in the. In the p. Wor. Someone posted a picture of me when there's. I guess there's an episode of the sip where I literally manifested that I would be this sick and have two under two and they would both be boys.
Lizzie
Are you sitting further back than usual? Because I, like, can't see you unless I'm violently.
Rylan
This is where Chris made me sit.
Lizzie
Chris? You made her sit like that?
Rylan
Not like that. Chris said leave that.
Lizzie
This is all Chris's fault. I don't. I think your hair's been looking like a snack lately. Why would you change what's working?
Rylan
Well, just because all these old pictures of me, I'm just like. It, like, looks like me.
Lizzie
Oh, you want to know the other thing? She tried high socks. She can't pull them off.
Rylan
No.
Lizzie
Why did you get the ugly, ugliest high socks in the world?
Rylan
I Don't know how to get them.
Lizzie
Look at these.
Rylan
I know.
Lizzie
New Balance with like the cool stripe.
Rylan
How do I get those? Because I would like to go get those. I just didn't know how to get them.
Lizzie
You go to our favorite place in the world.
Rylan
Oh, the outlets.
Lizzie
The Camarillo outlets.
Rylan
Should we go this week?
Lizzie
That would be so fun.
Rylan
On Thursday maybe. Okay.
Lizzie
Oh, no. We're literally filming on Thursday.
Rylan
Oh, this job. God damn it.
Lizzie
You literally have plans. Why do I know you're all morning.
Rylan
I was like, let's just take the day off. Like we've done.
Lizzie
We've done enough. We've already done enough, everyone. I was like, ooh, the Four Seasons pool sounds nice right now. And I've never even been.
Rylan
I could go back home and get my mini.
Lizzie
One of the recorders and we just start at season.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
And do you think they would be like, stop.
Rylan
I don't know that anyone's there on a Monday at 11am can you call next week? I'll call right now.
Lizzie
I feel like it is summer now. I think we should have a summer episode somewhere. Summery period. You know what I'm saying? We're locked up in this freezing shed, just sitting here, forced to work. It's like, what are we all doing here?
Rylan
We're the luckiest girls in the world. We shouldn't be locked up.
Lizzie
Are you gonna color the hair?
Rylan
No. Oh, well, I wouldn't mind doing the belayage again, cuz that was really fun. But I was thinking it's either I cut it to my shoulders again and live my, my spiky, my spunky little life, or I saw some like 20 something year old volleyball players at the airport this weekend and I'm like, do I need butt length hair? And the only time I'm probably gonna be able to get bunt length hair is while pregnant.
Lizzie
I think that would be pretty hot. But length until you have to like live with the butt length hair.
Rylan
Well, it'll all fall out the second I have sloppy.
Lizzie
Oh, then yeah, go for the butt length until he's born. Okay, so we're going to do your maternity shoe. The like the hair is covering the tits, it's wrapping around the ass back around to the vagina and it's just like you very Venus holding. Is that what she did?
Rylan
Well, I just. I don't know. It feels Venusy. Oh yeah.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
I'm your Venus.
Lizzie
Oh, okay. I thought you were talking about Venus Williams, like the tennis player.
Rylan
No, I was talking like, I was.
Lizzie
Like, was that she did for her maternity shoe?
Rylan
I don't think so.
Lizzie
I don't know.
Rylan
Did you notice anything else about me? It's a big one.
Lizzie
What? Your shoes. Oh, my God. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about them.
Rylan
What the.
Lizzie
I can't believe you purchased those without texting me. Every time you buy New Balances, you text me 17 times. Is this the right one? Is this the right color? Is this the right one that I should get it? And you just, with full confidence, sent it on Birkenstocks with chrome straps?
Rylan
Well, I didn't do it with full confidence. I did it with Claire's approval.
Lizzie
Who's Claire?
Rylan
Claire. You hear about Claire non stop and every time you say, who's Claire? Claire's the one.
Lizzie
Is this Max Field's mom?
Rylan
No. Oh, that's Stephanie.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
Stupid.
Joe
All right.
Rylan
Claire's Jude Brown's mom. There's two Judes. I actually don't know the other Jude's last name, but we're supposed to have a play date this week. I was like, my week's really opening up. It's like. No, it's not. I don't have a moment this week. June.
Lizzie
Apparently you have Thursday.
Rylan
I thought I had Thursday. Oh, I told Joe he could take the car and everything.
Lizzie
Oh, literally, he can't.
Rylan
No, he literally can't. But if we pull the trigger on that car that I asked you to look at, that you won't look at, then it would be here by Wednesday.
Lizzie
I had no free time, okay? You've had way more interesting things going on than the nothingness that we're talking about.
Rylan
Yeah, I had a David and Goliath battle and I won.
Lizzie
Huh?
Rylan
I was David. Orange Theory was Goliath. And I took on that corporation. I said, suck my ass.
Lizzie
It seemed like you were crumbling without the help of everyone else in your orbit.
Rylan
Okay, I had help. I had help. It wasn't like a single. What was that?
Lizzie
You're not a postie fan?
Rylan
No. Yes. It was just really weird coming out of you. It felt like you were doing something sexual because you were going, like, when it comes to my boys, okay, so get this. How long have I been singing the praises of Orange fucking Theory?
Lizzie
Your whole life.
Rylan
My whole fucking life? I've been a member of Orange Theory for at least five years, right? And I fucking love it. In my non pregnant days, I go four or five times a week. It's my Zen. If I went while I was losing, like, the worst periods of my life, it Got me through. And I loved it. Dude.
Lizzie
Is your phone ringing?
Rylan
Mine? No, it's on vibrate or silent mode. Oh, my God.
Lizzie
You're getting. Oh, what is it?
Rylan
Panorama Center? Kaiser?
Lizzie
Yeah. What do they want?
Rylan
Should I answer it?
Lizzie
I mean, it's about your baby.
Rylan
Oh, my God.
Lizzie
Put them on speaker.
Rylan
They just hung up.
Lizzie
Oh, yeah, it was like.
Rylan
That's crazy. It got through on work mode. Whatever. I wonder if I have an appointment right now.
Lizzie
Okay, I need to start this episode over.
Rylan
No, girl, we're doing good.
Lizzie
We're doing good. Get out of your car.
Rylan
I have to see if I have.
Lizzie
An appointment or not. Did realize that you can't schedule appointments through the app or online anymore.
Rylan
You have to call what you've always had to call.
Lizzie
What? I never had to call. I was finally trying to get to the bottom of what's going on with my knee, and I'm, like, trying to schedule an appointment with my doctor, and it's, like, unavailable. No appointments available. And I'm like, did this doctor leave or what? And it's like, no, you can't schedule your appointments through the app. What, do you have an appointment right now?
Rylan
No, tomorrow.
Lizzie
Okay, so it's just a reminder.
Rylan
Yeah. Which is also a bummer because I told Joe he could go to work tomorrow.
Lizzie
Oops.
Rylan
Okay, so anyway, I've been a member of orange theory for 25 years, and I sing their praises all the time on this platform. And as a matter of fact, I feel like I've done the work the most for them, financially and personally. And I. Last time I got pregnant, I was not feeling up for it. I have, like, a premium membership, so I can go five times a week, but it doesn't cost a million dollars. Like, it's just a monthly fee. And I didn't make it for the first three months of my pregnancy. And then I was like, I just can't keep paying for this. Hoping that one day I'll feel better. So I canceled. It got unpregnant, came back, started going to the gym again, found myself pregnant again, which is crazy. And I haven't been feeling up to it. So it's like, after three months of me literally not being able to make it there, I was like, I gotta cancel this membership again. The last time I canceled, they said, you know, you just have to cancel it by, like, before you're charged. Yeah, the next cycle. And I missed it. And I was like, whatever. Just charging for the next cycle. Like, that's on me. Like, whatever. I go to cancel this time and she's cold as ice. Goes, I don't even think she said, sorry, you're not feeling well or something. And like the message, I was like, I'm pregnant again. Like, I don't feel really great. I can't make it to the gym. But I will be back. Like, I will be back. I love you guys. And she's like, so sorry to hear that or something. And she goes, just so you know, we are going to have to charge you for the next cycle. And I was like, huh? I was like, it's days before my payment's due. And she goes, right, but no matter what we charge you for the next cycle, it's a 30 day thing. And I was like, I'm sorry, that's pretty lame. Like, I've been a member of yours for five years. I just let you know I'm pregnant and I can't. I don't feel well. I've been paying for this monthly membership for five years basically. Like, not five years total, but like I took six months off with Billy and I, but. And then I was back and I've been paying for three months without showing up. Like you can see that on my tally. Yeah, she says nothing kind to me. It's just what our press, it's like, it's where our policy is. That's what our policy is. Just completely nasty. If you had a note from a doctor, we would, we would not do that. I'm like, what the. I was like, whatever, dude. Either way I need the thing canceled. But this is pretty lame. I don't even think I said but I was like, this is lame. And nothing about her was like, I'm so sorry. Like, this is just our procedure. Like you are our valued client. Like all these nothing nice. And it's like, this is via text, Yasha, you don't even have to fucking fake it to my face. Fake it over a fucking text. Two words. So sorry. My hands are tied. Whatever the it is. Give me some pleasantry. You cold? I'm so mad about it.
Lizzie
Your orange theory?
Rylan
Yeah, she's the manager. She signs everything, her name and then. Manager. And I'm like, bro, if you're the manager and you know, I've been a client for five years and you make 200 off my dumb ass a month and you've made 600 off my ass not showing off for three months. And you know I'll be back. No, I'm not coming back, you crusty. I'm not coming back. You can eat my fat ass. I'm going to Pilates, Yasha, where they give me a better mindset than dealing with your ass. And I have Kaiser. I can't get a doctor's note.
Lizzie
I can't even get an appointment, period.
Rylan
Stupid. But one of the moms in my group did have a doctor's note from Kaiser. Chris just made it a Kaiser appointment. Maybe you need to text your doctor.
Lizzie
Are you a preferred client or something? I messaged my doctor because I was like, hey, I can't seem to book an appointment with you, but can you either refer me to a specialist or tell me if you can see me? Crickets.
Rylan
Nothing.
Lizzie
Nothing. Yeah, nothing. I'm just. Just don't worry about me. Whatever.
Rylan
Maybe you need to send him pictures of your lips.
Lizzie
Is that how I get his attention? Is your doctor taking clients?
Rylan
Chris. Chris's doctor talks to him. Because Chris talks to his doctor. You know what I mean? He fosters that relationship.
Lizzie
I mean, my doctors touched my balls multiple times.
Rylan
I thought we were just reach out to reach out. No, show some warmth. Say what's up once in a while.
Lizzie
Do you show Yozina some warmth?
Rylan
Yozina? Yasha.
Lizzie
I didn't know her name.
Rylan
I did show Yasha warmth.
Lizzie
I love. Have you sent her a gift basket?
Rylan
Never would I ever. Because she's a. Oh, I'm so nice to them in person, too. I'm like, thank you so much. Like always, so nice. And I was excited to go back. And look, now I'm not. Yasha, you nasty.
Lizzie
All the girls are going to Pilates anyways. Yeah, just go to Be Kind Studios like everyone else, and I will.
Rylan
And guess what? I got a fucking doctor's note, Yasha.
Lizzie
You did?
Rylan
One of my friends doctored a doctor's note for me, and I said, well.
Lizzie
Now you're telling her that it's.
Rylan
Let her know she's already refunded my money. Stupid. Oh, my God, I'm so over it. I'm so over it.
Lizzie
So you didn't escalate this further? You just sent a doctor's note?
Rylan
Oh, I forged a doctor's note and sent it.
Lizzie
Wow. That's what I did with a college degree when my employee tried telling me, you're not going to get the rate that we were quoting you because you don't have a college. College degree, even though I'd already been working there for six months. And I was like, okay, then here's my college degree period. Well, I didn't forge a college degree. I just stated I had one. No, no degree was Ever asked for.
Rylan
I mean, it's really easy to forge.
Lizzie
I just said I have it.
Rylan
That's my.
Lizzie
You're gonna pay me my rate. I've been working here for six months. You're not decreasing my rate because now you think I don't have a college degree. My workload is the same.
Rylan
That's my favorite thing about the college degree. I think it's like, are you gonna call and find out? Like, how much time are you gonna invest in this lot?
Lizzie
I'm sorry. That all. If you all, like, went all four years and paid all the money. I'm sorry, but it was my negotiating tactic. I wasn't gonna let them take 10k off my salary.
Rylan
Girl, I went to college all four years. I'm a certified paralegal. I don't know how to use a comma. That's a nightmare.
Lizzie
Open a gate with a code.
Rylan
I can't do anything. I can't do anything. But for some reason, the courts of California will recognize me as a paralegal. That's stupid. I'm sorry. No one's degree is worth if I got one.
Lizzie
There was so much going in my house when you arrived. And I know you weren't opening the gates because the dogs were loose, but.
Rylan
She couldn't open the gate even if I wanted to.
Lizzie
I know. Shane goes, why can't she just use the code? And I go, because she's stupid. And my nanny's dying laughing. And I'm like, I'm not talking shit behind Lizzy's back. She'd say it out loud herself. I just want the whole house to know I'm not just calling her stupid. She would call herself stupid in a more mean way. We're both stupid. It's fine. At least I can open a gate.
Rylan
Listen, I used a code that you gave Chris one time, and it doesn't work anymore. And I'm like, did you give Chris a fake code?
Lizzie
Chris is never asked. Chris has never texted me, like, I can't get in. He's always just in. Chris is in. He finds his way. And he lubes up. And he finds his way in.
Rylan
He lubes up. Maybe that's the problem. I need to lube up.
Lizzie
He was suggesting we do the show naked today. So.
Rylan
He's such a freak that his way.
Lizzie
We'D all be nude right now.
Rylan
He's all naked and lubed up.
Lizzie
Maybe we will do an episode out of our minds naked. Okay.
Rylan
I'd love to.
Lizzie
That'd have to be behind a paywall. It just Is what it is.
Rylan
It is what it is. And about it in the comment section because guess what? Someone's not reading them anymore.
Lizzie
And how has that been for your mental state?
Rylan
Really nice.
Lizzie
Okay, so there was no further with Orange theory. You just got your money back and you didn't rub it in her face or anything?
Rylan
I just texted her a screen grab of the doctor's note. I did ask because my friend made it for me. Because I stupid can't do that unless I can use my collage app on my phone, I can't do it.
Lizzie
You should see how she makes her YouTube thumbnails.
Rylan
It's on my collage app on my phone. I call it the dumb bitch method. And guess what? It gets it done.
Lizzie
But there was no further back and forth. You just sent the doctor's note.
Joe
Refund.
Rylan
Yeah. And she didn't even say anything to me afterwards. And also it's like, congratulations, you're pregnant. I'm so sorry to hear that you're not going to be able to come. We look forward to you returning. Just.
Lizzie
Do you see her face to face for the five years?
Rylan
Yes.
Lizzie
So you know her?
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
It's not just like a faceless person.
Rylan
Even if it is, you're representing the company. You. This is a community. And I know Orange Theory works really hard on fostering community. They have mimosas on Mother's Day and Father's Day. They celebrate Pride Week. They have really fun events for Halloween.
Lizzie
Oh, I mean, they have like.
Rylan
They're like. They're a community or oriented facility. And you know what? You are Yasha? Community lists.
Lizzie
So are you Kaiser?
Rylan
Honestly, for real, though, I think the only unifying thing of Kaiser is when you get face to face with your doctor. You both hate them.
Lizzie
What?
Rylan
Every doctor I've had at Kaiser is like, I hate these people.
Lizzie
Oh, the doctor hates the.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
Oh, okay. I really liked my doctor when he was going down on me. I felt safe and I didn't even get hard. So it was really like. Like we belong together. I love the farmer's market.
Rylan
Oh, at the Kaiser?
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
Yeah, that's pretty g. There's a farmer's.
Lizzie
Market at the Kaiser.
Rylan
Which one do you go to? Panorama.
Lizzie
You should have seen. We went to Anaheim Hills yesterday. Have you ever seen that Kaiser?
Rylan
No.
Lizzie
It's like the Mecca of Kaiser's. I was driving past and I was driving, so I couldn't. But I wanted to take a picture to send to Chris and be like, this is the holy Grail.
Rylan
Should I get my C section?
Lizzie
And they even had like a huge plaque on the outside that was like the top rated maternity hospital.
Rylan
Should I get my C section there?
Lizzie
Probably.
Rylan
Should I drive to fucking Anaheim?
Lizzie
Yes. And they also have golden spoons still. Which you probably don't know what it is, but it's the best frozen yogurt. She's bored. Okay. Lizzie's trip to Arizona.
Rylan
I'm just tired cuz I'm pregnant.
Lizzie
No, because you. I mean, I'm not shaming you. You just did the most this weekend. Of course you're tired. Bring us in. Take us to Arizona.
Rylan
Let me open the door.
Lizzie
You want to know what it's like to fly to Arizona with Lizzy Joe and Billy Bob plus one?
Rylan
It's pretty chill.
Lizzie
It was chill.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
What airline?
Rylan
Southwest.
Lizzie
How are the patrons?
Rylan
The patrons were pretty chill, Billy, both times on takeoff. And the bathrooms are so small. I was like, what do. Oh, what do I do in here with. I can't even.
Lizzie
He knows somewhere. He's got a poop.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
He's going to swim.
Joe
He's got a poop.
Lizzie
He's going on a plane. Got a shit. He's got a shit.
Rylan
Billy's got a poop.
Lizzie
Is he not pretty regular?
Rylan
Gotta poop. Gotta poop. Poop. He just started. He fit he five times yesterday.
Lizzie
That's a lot.
Rylan
Yeah. For a boy on solids. What is that?
Lizzie
That's crazy, right? That's crazy.
Rylan
Seems like too much.
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
But another kid in his class is also shitting five times a day. So I'm like, I guess.
Lizzie
Our boys are averaging three and I.
Rylan
Heard their poop's supposed to be like play DOH consistency. At least in that. If it's any firmer, it's like they're dehydrated. So it's like his poop is a good consistency. Like he's just got a lot of it. My guy's full of.
Lizzie
He's fed well.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
Okay, so nothing from Arizona. That's it?
Rylan
No, Arizona was GS.
Lizzie
So 120 degrees. Did you try frying an egg?
Rylan
Why would I do that? Where would I do. Why would I do that? Just go out in the retirement community and just crack an egg and then walk the fuck away from me.
Lizzie
I would have liked that reel. Hey, I'm in Arizona. It's 120 degrees outside. Want to see how fast this egg cooks?
Rylan
Cut to 25 fucking elderly people being like, what are you doing?
Lizzie
Eggs are expensive.
Rylan
Hold on. You can't even find an egg. Hold on. Let me talk to you about Anything for a really long time. At 120 degrees, you're hot. This is not what.
Lizzie
So they're friendly.
Rylan
They're very friendly. We went to a Target, and I've been talking on the show lately about how Target is trash and it's the new Kmart, but I think that might just be LA Targets. I went to Target in Arizona, and I asked someone where something was, and guess what? They pulled out their device and found it for me.
Lizzie
Might be happy people.
Rylan
I think it's people who are content in their occupation.
Lizzie
Well, that's what I mean.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
Like, everyone that's working in a Target in LA has dreams of being Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
Or Kardashian girls.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
They're not trying to be at Target.
Rylan
Which I understand, which is like, fine, whatever. But you are at Target right now. You're being paid to be a Target.
Lizzie
Yeah, I mean, I'd be cranky, too. I'd be an awful.
Rylan
I mean, I. I hated every shop girl job I had, and I was never a.
Lizzie
And I hated every waiting table job I ever had. And I wouldn't show it outwardly. I'd go into the bathroom and go, yeah, yeah, period.
Rylan
I'd go to my car, roll up all the windows, and chain smoke cigarettes.
Lizzie
Although when I knew I was on my last day at one of my last jobs, it took everything in me to not flip a table at Le Banquo. Tutian. Yeah, Just one of those Brentwood.
Rylan
Those Brentwood.
Lizzie
One too many things to me, and I was like, be careful. This is my last day.
Joe
I might flip this table on you.
Rylan
Did you say that?
Lizzie
And I won't even feel bad about it.
Rylan
Did you say that?
Lizzie
No, I didn't say it.
Rylan
I wish you had said it. They need to hear it more than anyone. You know what? If I. Oh, if I could for a day, I'd get a service job in Brentwood right now. Just to tell them the business and then be like, I don't need this job, but you need to hear this.
Lizzie
What do they need to hear?
Rylan
Oh, my God. They need to eat something first and foremost, because they're hungry and their brains are starving. You're running on fumes, and you're being an because of it. None of us deserve your hanger. You're too skinny. Lulu shouldn't be loose.
Lizzie
So targets are nice in Arizona?
Rylan
Targets are nice in Arizona.
Joe
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Lizzie
I just think if it dips too much, I just get that back pain.
Joe
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Rylan
The thing about Billy boy is he has a vacation mode. And I didn't realize it until this trip, but like his vibe was different. He was like, I'm on vacation. This is my summer vacation.
Lizzie
Wow, that's nice.
Rylan
It was really cute. He was like, he swam every day. He liked hanging out with his grandma. He was so funny too. Like, he literally like had a vacation mode. Like you could tell he's like, this isn't my normal routine.
Lizzie
Wow. That is very cute.
Rylan
It was really cute.
Lizzie
That's so cute. It makes me want to go vacation with you.
Rylan
It made me want to go more places with him. And Joe's like, can you even handle that? And I was like, no, my body is breaking down. But how cute is this guy? He's like, you want to fly to Hawaii with him? I was like, I do. I was like, I don't think you're gonna make it back. And I was like, me neither, but what a beautiful place.
Lizzie
So did you execute on the Vegas trip?
Rylan
Trip? No. I'm still trying to figure out if that's a good idea.
Lizzie
Oh, okay.
Rylan
I don't know.
Lizzie
I mean, you'll be way more pregnant at that time.
Rylan
I'll be way more pregnant. My husband and James both have to go to the wedding because it's their actual friend.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
And there's no babies allowed.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
So I would just be at home with the baby. And so I was thinking, like, am I going to be livid if Joe and James come back to the hotel suite and they're, like, all up?
Lizzie
Yeah, you'd have to get two rooms. Yeah, there's no way. And then she was like, do you want to come to Vegas and bring your boys? I was like, I already booked a Vegas trip to Shane, and I.
Rylan
You're gonna have fun.
Lizzie
What?
Rylan
You're gonna have fun.
Lizzie
Yeah, we're gonna see Ashley Simpson. I saw Ashley Simpson promoting her tour, and I was like, I'm in. I'm going to Ashley Simpson. Because that on our third date, we really bonded over Ashley Simpson. I was kind of closed off and being kind of a grump. And then. You crazy. Right after I had just declared, I was like, yeah, I don't really make it past the third date with most people. And Shane was like, I'm never gonna.
Rylan
See this guy again by choice, because he's a.
Lizzie
And then I have a margari on the way home. Shane's. He was like, like, do you want to listen to anything? And I. I don't. Or maybe Ashley Simpson just came on, like, shuffle. And I wake one margarita in. I'm. I'm gone.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
So I'm just singing every single word, screaming. And he's like, oh, maybe I can't have fun with this guy. And he discovered my love for Ashley Simpson's album. And ever since, I was like, I love Ashley Simpson. She's now doing, like, a mini residency in Vegas, and when I heard her promoting it I was like, shane, you have to take me. You have to take me. And he executed.
Rylan
Here's the deal. I know this isn't about me, and that's a beautiful love story and everything, but I did realize that the dates coincide with me no longer breastfeeding.
Lizzie
Oh, do you like Ashley Simpson?
Rylan
No. But I could still go and I could have a great time.
Lizzie
That's fine, you can come. I mean, you'd have to ask my husband. You can go. I don't care. Why can't you come?
Rylan
I don't know. Now I'm scared. The freedom, it's a lot.
Lizzie
I did panic because I was like, oh, no, did I book this over Billy's birthday? But it's a few days later.
Rylan
Do you know everybody's booked shit over Billy's birthday?
Lizzie
I know. Well, that's what you had told me. Somebody had booked something more than one.
Rylan
Somebody, Haley. My fucking goddaughter's mother is not gonna make it to Billy's birthday. Guess how many birthdays of my goddaughters I've missed?
Lizzie
None.
Rylan
None. Guess who came with a 4 month old baby? Who drove 16 hours with a 4 month old baby to go to a 3 year old's fucking birthday party? Me.
Lizzie
I really did panic, though. I was like, oh, no, I'm gonna miss his birthday. But no, it's different dates.
Rylan
Well, no, you would just not go to Ashley Simpson.
Lizzie
I would have to go to Ashlee Simpson. It's all booked. It's all booked. The flights, the hotel, the tickets. No, I would just go on a different date. She has like five different dates. So just choose a different date. Okay, whatever. You're holding Joe's dick.
Rylan
Oh, so I can't wear Billy on the carrier anymore because my tummy and my back hurt. And so Joe carried Billy through the airport. And men are so funny because things that women can do, like alone, men need help with funny. It's crazy. Men. So I, in this, you know, wearable thing that I can put on by myself and take off by myself, I have to, to hoist onto my husband, strap him in, into the cliffs.
Lizzie
Does it also take you to get Billy in the car seat or can Joe do that?
Rylan
Joe can do that.
Lizzie
Oh, so did my husband.
Rylan
Can he?
Lizzie
No, he can. It just takes.
Rylan
Joe always acts like this is too tight. And then I look back and Billy's like hanging out the side of it and it's like, no, it's not too tight. It's supposed to be that tight to save his life. And when I look back in the mirror, and my son's dangling off the side of it because it's so fucking loose. It means you've done something wrong. Anyway, so I strapped Joe in, and then he can't do anything. Like, literally, he had to pull cards out of his wallet, and it's like he just turns into Edward Scissorhands, and it's just like his wallet flies across the floor. Yeah. Like, he's just. Everything no longer works. So he, like, throws his wallet on the floor, all the cards fly out. He tries to bend down and pick him up, but I was like, stop it. Stop trying. Go inside. I'll pick this up and I'll handle this. So I pick up all the stupid cards, and then I give him back to him, and he drops it again because he can't figure out how to put it. He's like, I just. I can't see it under the babies. Then hold it up to your face. Do you need to see it to put it in your pocket? Put it in your pocket. What are you doing, fool? Then we're going. We're in the family bathroom, and Joe's wearing Billy to go pee. And he just doesn't even grab his penis to pee. And Joe just starts peeing. And I was like, do you want. Do you want me to hold your penis for you? Aim it for you? He's like, I mean, you can if you want. I'm just sort of intuiting it. It's like, why can't you hold your dick to pee? And like, when I was alone with Billy at the airport, like, I went pee wearing him, like, what? You know, what are you supposed to do? You know what I mean? So I grabbed Joe's penis, But honestly, I wasn't much help. And I think all I did was get pissed on myself, which is really demoralizing because I was just trying to be of service.
Lizzie
Yeah. Because any movement is a big movement. Are you joking? Oh, my God. Any movement. I was so entranced that I didn't even realize the mic wasn't here. Any movement's a big movement with a penis. So if it's not your own, you barely touch my. That thing and it's flying.
Rylan
Oh, yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy.
Lizzie
Wow.
Rylan
He's like, I would have been better intuiting it. It's like, why? But also like, why can't you just hold it? Like, what is going on? Why does the dis. Like, literally anytime he put something in his hands, it was like, it's like, he'd never held anything before and he could never do it again. It's like all of a sudden he's just like. And then everything would just fly across the sky and be like, I'm. I'll go get it. I'll go get it. Touch nothing. And it's. But it's, like, also very cute and helpful, you know, because I couldn't wear Billy right now.
Lizzie
What about on the back?
Rylan
I've never put them on my back.
Lizzie
I never did either, but my back really hurts. Oh, yeah. She's so calm and chill about things. She's like, my back's been hurting for weeks. And I was like, you haven't even mentioned it once. My knee hurt for one day and I screamed it in your face 17 times randomly.
Rylan
I'll be walking with you and I'll just gasp in pain and stop for a second. And the fact that you haven't.
Lizzie
But you don't complain.
Rylan
I'm gasping.
Lizzie
I thought you were just pregnant. I didn't know there was like. I just thought it was everything. I thought you're just like, no, there's.
Rylan
Something up with my, like, back, upper hip. I don't know anatomy, but my back, upper hip. Something's wrong with it. I have to sleep on a heating pad already. And then my neck's all up, too, and so I'm sleeping on a heating pad there. Like, I'm just so hot. The heating helps.
Lizzie
Are you gonna do this again?
Rylan
I don't know. I do not know. I just. I. This. I think this is the pain of, like, getting shot twice through the same hole back to back. Yeah.
Lizzie
Notice how I did three.
Rylan
I did. I also feel like if we did do three back to back, everyone's like, you're going to girl. We're gonna get a third boy.
Lizzie
We. Oh, definitely.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
You're not getting that. Girl. We were. We went to visit Jared yesterday for his birthday, and Sandy had set up, like, this very cute campsite. Like, did a photo collage all over the car that was gorgeous. I sent it to Lizzy. It was so pretty. And she's like, why didn't I marry Sandy?
Rylan
No, why didn't I marry Sandy?
Lizzie
Honestly, when I had the chance? She's. Every time I see her, she's like, oh, planning this person's baby shower. I'm planning this person's birthday party. And it's always such an incredible theme. And it's like, immaculately. Immaculately sorted out and planned. And I just told her, you should go into business. You should Party plan, because everybody wants to have a vision and execute in an amazing way, but they're either just like, don't have the time or too lazy to really see the thing through. So she could do that incredibly. But I was saying all of this because there was.
Rylan
Were just don't put your finger on the mic.
Lizzie
There were a lot of people there with a lot of kids. One with three.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
Thinking about having a fourth.
Rylan
Oh, wow.
Lizzie
There's three girls. And she's like, oh, I'm never gonna get a boy. Even if I try again with the fourth, it's not gonna show up as a boy. Yeah, it's gonna be another girl. And that's just gonna be what it is. And it's like, well, what's the age gap between the first two? And it's exactly the same as you.
Rylan
15.
Lizzie
And Billy, I think hers was 16. So you're flexing even a little bit harder. And I was like, was it hard? Should she be scared? She goes, no, it was fine.
Rylan
Oh, I'm not scared. I got it on the way here. I was actually, like, very excited.
Lizzie
She was like. I was very organized and routine with my first, but then once I had the second, it was like, we have things to do and places to be, and it just is what it is, and life flows and we figure it out.
Rylan
That's what. That's what I found with Billie is like, yeah, it's really, really hard, but what the fuck else are you gonna do?
Lizzie
You just have to try to relax into it because you go again.
Rylan
Well, there's literally nothing else you can do do. Like, what am I gonna do? Add 15 minutes to this by throwing a fit? Or am I just gonna shut up and do it? It's like, I'm gonna shut up and do it. Like, am I gonna wait a little bit longer while he's crying in the crib next to me? Like, no, girl, you're already awake. Get up. All he wants is your titty. It's that easy. Just put the titty in his mouth. I'll miss the out. And he will you read your book for a little bit? Throw his ass back in the fucking snoo and run away.
Lizzie
I started thinking, maybe we could beat these RV girls. You know, These RV parks are so cute.
Rylan
I talked to Joe about this. Do you know it's very expensive?
Lizzie
No, it's cheaper than. I mean, to maintain the RV yourself is expensive. The actual campsites are not expensive.
Rylan
Isn't renting an RV like three grand?
Lizzie
I mean, I. I don't know. I haven't been in the market to rent an RV in a long time. But we know people with RVs.
Rylan
We would just borrow an RV.
Lizzie
Well, I don't. I don't know. We'd visit somebody that has the RV.
Rylan
We'd have to borrow two RVs.
Lizzie
Just be cool.
Rylan
I would.
Lizzie
Like, this one was so cool. It had a nice pool. It had a playground. It had this, like. I don't even know what you'd call it. A human obstacle course that was like, three stories high.
Rylan
So when the kids are six and.
Lizzie
All of the kids were just riding their bikes because it's like an enclosed campground, and everyone that enters the campgrounds then going slow because they know it's a place of families. So all the kids are just riding there. And I was like, wow, this is. This is the vibe. Like, I want to be doing this with our families. And I was like, lizzy, we're gonna be RV girls. We're gonna do this. And she goes, goes, we can't do that. And I said, I think we can. We might need Jared and Sandy's help.
Rylan
I was like, if we do that, we have to do it like, rich, rich.
Lizzie
We're not doing a tent.
Rylan
Well, when and when I say rich, rich, I didn't put this in writing, but I need you to know that it's going to be, like, something that I can't afford. Rich, rich. Like, that's how it's got to be.
Lizzie
Well, you know, I'm not going to be roughing it. No, I know too much of a princess to rough it. But I want the experience of, like, oh, we're like, all outside all day. We're riding our bikes all day. We're swimming all day.
Rylan
Why don't we rent, like, a lake house, then?
Lizzie
Fine.
Rylan
Doesn't that sound better? And it'll probably be more affordable than us getting each an rv.
Lizzie
Fine. I'll just visit Jared and Sandy at.
Rylan
Theirs, and then we'll get a lake house.
Lizzie
And then we'll get a lake house.
Rylan
I would love to get a lake house.
Lizzie
I'm not. I'm done with houses.
Rylan
No, we're not buying a house, okay?
Lizzie
Everyone's like, yeah, they appreciate, but you also have to fucking maintain them. And maintaining a house is a fucking nightmare. Nightmare.
Rylan
No, I'm not talking about buying a house. But let's. Let's, like, Airbnb a lake house. That would be so fun.
Lizzie
Okay, fine. I'm sold. I'm done. It's good.
Rylan
Joe's one with A tramp.
Lizzie
Preferably like.
Rylan
Yes.
Lizzie
Yeah. You know, like a water train.
Rylan
Yeah. Yeah. Let's look into that.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
I'd be down to do that even, like, next year.
Lizzie
Next year's fine with me.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
By the time. Yes.
Rylan
But I need to bring my help.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
Like, Joe.
Lizzie
Me too.
Rylan
Yeah. Are we bringing our dogs?
Lizzie
Can your dogs get along with my dogs?
Rylan
No.
Lizzie
I would love if they could.
Rylan
No.
Lizzie
Okay, let's get well. Okay.
Rylan
We're doing.
Lizzie
Done.
Rylan
We're done.
Lizzie
Well, no, we have your Hot Topics.
Rylan
Do we?
Lizzie
Yeah, I left. I left an adequate amount of time for your Hot Topics, so I hope they're good.
Rylan
Wow.
Lizzie
Cuz nothing else is happening. Oh, wait. What? This could be fun to answer. What is it?
Rylan
Click how many times you have to.
Lizzie
It's Instagram. It's not going to open on my iPad. What is it?
Rylan
It's a bunch of questions that girlfriends ask their boy. Oh, my God.
Lizzie
Just open it on your phone. Open it on your phone. Be intuitive.
Rylan
You yell at me when I open my phone.
Lizzie
Oh, you're never gonna be able to find this. Do you not have docs? There it is.
Rylan
Everyone shut your mouths.
Lizzie
Oh, my God. There's nothing worse. Why, when you link something to an Instagram or a Tick Tock or anything, does it never open on the actual video or photo itself? It always just takes you to.
Rylan
It's so annoying.
Lizzie
Five questions to ask your boyfriend. In this case, am I your boyfriend?
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
Would you still love me if I was a worm? No. That wasn't even the question. Are you joking? Joe said he would keep me just in case there was a way to return me to my former self.
Lizzie
He's better for you than me. He's a better match for you.
Rylan
You literally wouldn't love me anymore. It's me. A witch turns me into a worm. I mean, no, it's me.
Lizzie
I'd love you.
Rylan
You know? It's me.
Lizzie
I'd love you. But we couldn't communicate in the.
Rylan
Would you just get rid of me?
Lizzie
Well, no, I. Okay. If this was Shane, I would foster him forever.
Rylan
It's me.
Lizzie
Okay, you too. I mean, I'm just saying our relationship's different.
Rylan
If you were a worm.
Lizzie
Now I'm a caregiver.
Rylan
If we were out in the world and a witch came and turned you into a worm, I'd keep you.
Lizzie
So this wasn't the question?
Rylan
No, this was a trap. And you fucking suck.
Lizzie
Last night she sent me a video of Billy beating a baby doll to death. She goes, what does this Mean, I was like, I don't know, maybe he doesn't like babies.
Rylan
This concern me.
Lizzie
And I was like, it seems like he doesn't like babies. And you're like, so you think he doesn't like babies? And I was like, I don't know. Is this a fucking trap? Like, what do you want me to say? It's apparent that right now he does not like the baby doll.
Rylan
He's bashing its head and screaming, beating it into the floor. And I got up that baby so that he would be used to a baby before he saw.
Lizzie
That's sad. That's sad and cute.
Rylan
And he just keeps taking the baby doll's passy and putting it in his mouth. And he's like, I want one. And I'm like, you don't want one? Okay, so now I know. If a witch comes and turns you into a worm, just to not give up.
Lizzie
Also, I love you. I'll. I'll make you an aquarium because we'll.
Rylan
Have nothing in common anymore. A terrarium. It's just herbarium. Don't put me in an aquarium.
Lizzie
Our relationship's just different. I'm now a caregiver, but that's fine. I'll carry you back to life.
Rylan
Thank you.
Lizzie
I hope somebody. I hope AI will not like.
Rylan
I'm going to require a lot.
Lizzie
I'm a worm, hoping AI will become advanced enough to put you back into your human form.
Rylan
Thank you.
Lizzie
And what now? Who's taking the kids?
Rylan
Well, actually, my husband will probably still raise the children.
Lizzie
Oh, he's still alive in this scenario. He's not a worm.
Rylan
He's not a worm? No. It's just if you and I are out here, we're tasting something for the sip. I'm particularly nasty to someone, which is. Is it shocking?
Lizzie
No. I have a question.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
If you and your husband are both turned into worms, who gets Billy and sloppy rust?
Rylan
Okay, so first of all, the first choice I had was my friend Katie, okay?
Lizzie
She has too many kids.
Rylan
Well, now she has three children, so I have to ask her.
Lizzie
She's out.
Rylan
Katie, do you want two more in case my husband and I get turned into worms? Should I text her right now? Katie, me and Joe are turned into worms. Do you still take myself sense?
Lizzie
No, we're being for real right now because Joe.
Rylan
And also, like, my kids don't come with enough money. They come with some money, but they don't come with enough money. You know what I mean? Like, they come with enough money to get through, like, two years.
Lizzie
Okay?
Rylan
And Then you're. That's your financial burden. Those are your. That's your burden.
Lizzie
So I've suddenly gone higher on the list.
Rylan
You got higher on the list before that, though.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
You were higher on the list before that, Honestly.
Lizzie
Well, I don't know if this had to do with the babies, but just in friendship rankings, I. Like, I don't even. I did something that. Lizzie very sweet, and she was discussing it with Joe, and Joe goes. I think he. I think he.
Rylan
You're, like, always been your number one.
Lizzie
Yeah, he's like, Joe goes, I think he's always been your number one, but I just want to know if that also, like, is in relation to babies.
Rylan
I think it's. It does inch you closer. But if Katie will still take my children on the off chance I'm wormed. We'll. We have to. Honestly, we have to see how Katie replies to what happens. What would she do? I don't like being.
Lizzie
Only if Katie says no.
Rylan
No, if Katie. No. If I asked Katie what you do with me if I became a worm and her first answer is better than yours, then she's getting my kids.
Lizzie
Okay, now we're all curious.
Rylan
Your knee. Your knee jerk was awful.
Lizzie
It was. I wasn't thinking it through. Right.
Rylan
Katie, I know you have three kids. Can you take a second and answer this question?
Lizzie
Nothing outside of what would. Just talk to. Text it.
Rylan
I can't do that.
Lizzie
You start her text by naming her. That's weird, right? Like, if I was like, chris, what are you doing? Right. I don't ever address Lizzie first by her name. I just send the text. Okay. All right, we'll wait for her.
Rylan
It might be a while because she literally has a newborn and two children.
Lizzie
We have time. We got to eat something too. So even if it's at the end of this podcast, this will help our watch time.
Rylan
Okay.
Lizzie
We all have to know where the ranking lies. Do I get the kids? Will I get the kids?
Rylan
Okay, if you lost me in a supermarket, where's the first place you'd look?
Lizzie
H. You. Probably the seafood section.
Rylan
Oh, no.
Lizzie
Not even while you're pregnant?
Rylan
No. Like, a Ralph's seafood section is. I'd probably. I mean, I'm guessing we're at a Ralph's. Oh, I think we're in a Ralph's. Should we be in an Air One? You still think I'd be in the seafood section of an Air One?
Lizzie
No, I think you'd be at the coffee bar. The smoothie bar.
Rylan
Yeah, that checks. I think you'd Be in the prepared aisle. Like the deli aisle?
Lizzie
Yeah. Or the fruits. And fruits.
Rylan
Yeah. Okay. If we switched lives for a day, okay. What do you think I'd struggle with the most?
Lizzie
Being me. You being me?
Rylan
Yeah. Or would it just be a really cool day? It feels like it would just be a really chill day.
Lizzie
Right. Unless something goes wrong at the house. Managing awful household duties.
Rylan
I couldn't manage your gardeners or your pool men. For sure.
Lizzie
Managing employees is hard.
Rylan
Yeah. I couldn't manage your employees. Specifically this one.
Lizzie
Okay. And then the opposite for me and you. What would be my hardest task?
Rylan
What would be your hardest task?
Lizzie
Would it be fulfilling? Joe.
Rylan
No. You'd probably be fine sucking his dick. But it would. Am I wrong? Wrong. I'm not wrong.
Lizzie
I'm married.
Rylan
I know, but in this scenario, you're married to my husband.
Lizzie
Okay. So honestly, your husband's life gets better.
Rylan
Yeah. Damn, that's so sad. My husband's thriving. Getting BJ's left and right. Rylan's bottoming out like a car on a speed bump. I think the hardest thing for you would be nursing Billy and taking care of the dogs.
Lizzie
I think hand preparing meals for the dogs. I wouldn' have the patience.
Rylan
It's just one dog. Icky gets hand fed. Bubs doesn't.
Lizzie
No, but you're also preparing them. I wouldn't prepare their food.
Rylan
Wow.
Lizzie
I would outsource. Even if I was doing like that nice of food, it'd be outsourced.
Rylan
Nasty. Okay, if you had to change my legal name, what would you call me? Call you Brett.
Lizzie
You think I'm a Brett?
Rylan
You get turned to a worm. I'm calling you Brad.
Lizzie
I kind of like the name Brat. I feel like he's the version of me with a six pack, period.
Rylan
Yeah, it's like Brett's not really a gay name, but it's like he's like.
Lizzie
He's la. Straight.
Rylan
He's. He's like, if he is straight, he's also gay.
Lizzie
Like, he's getting blow jobs from dudes even if he has straight.
Rylan
But he's like a blowjobs. But it's like, well, you're married to a woman, Brett.
Lizzie
Yeah, yeah. I'm the hole. The. The pee hole. The hole.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
But I'm getting blowjob.
Rylan
But. And if I. If I'm putting my dick in a butt. It's not that gay.
Lizzie
And it's only because I understand how much work it takes to carve the men's physique. I appreciate the guy. That's Blowing me. Yeah, because like, I know what it took to achieve that period.
Rylan
You know, that's a Brett, That's a Brett mentality.
Lizzie
Got it.
Rylan
So what's my name?
Lizzie
Liza.
Rylan
Technically, already my name version of my name, but I'll take it.
Lizzie
Becca.
Rylan
That hurts.
Lizzie
Yeah, Becca is you, but blonde.
Rylan
That's what you think of a Becca?
Lizzie
Okay, yeah, I think she's a little. No, you're like. She's bitchier in a cattier way. You're straightforward and like, unaware of your demands in public. But she's like.
Rylan
And that's what got me turned into a worm.
Lizzie
She's manipulative.
Rylan
Becca's manipulative.
Lizzie
Blonde and manipulative.
Rylan
So you think Becca's like that?
Lizzie
She's that bitch. She's efficient. So she's pretty.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
Guys are trying to get it.
Rylan
Do you know that this is reminding me that. Remember that mom? I was shit talking in my neighborhood. Good. I met her.
Lizzie
Is her name Becca?
Rylan
No, but it might as well be. I don't remember what it is, but I'm gonna call her Becca. She stopped and my neighbor started talking to her for a really long time. And as we walked away, I was like, we don't talk to her. She was like, what? And I was like, she's a hot mom. That's like that.
Lizzie
You're insulting your mom friend by categorizing her.
Rylan
I didn't realize that. I didn't realize that until after we walked away.
Lizzie
We don't talk to her. She's in the hot mom club.
Rylan
Listen, if you have a seven month old baby and a thigh gap, we can't be friends. We can't be friends.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
That's just how I feel about it. Okay, sorry. I'm sorry.
Lizzie
What's the next question?
Rylan
If you could ban one thing from my wardrobe forever, what would it be?
Lizzie
I feel like yours will be more like adamant and off the top of your head.
Rylan
Oh, you don't think you have a particular item that you give me for every time.
Lizzie
Oh, your dead aunt Patricia's slippers. I think there's a time and a place for those. I think those are necessary to your life. I really do. I just don't think like while you're filming for the general public in the.
Rylan
World, while you're watching here. This isn't Wendy Williams.
Lizzie
We don't stay in one place. We're going out in the world.
Rylan
We never really see my feet.
Lizzie
We're like shopping at Ralph's. We're going furniture shopping. We're at the Container Store. We're at Wendy's. We're at Burger Kings. We're, like, among the world. Like, why do you want her shoes? Shoes that are a coveted item of yours. To see the filth of Los Angeles.
Rylan
Comfy, cozy, emotionally and physically.
Lizzie
Well, now you have your Birkenstocks. And I didn't mean to shame them. I do like them.
Rylan
I like them, too.
Lizzie
Yeah, they're cute.
Rylan
I'm gonna have to tighten them a little bit. Okay, last one.
Lizzie
What's my wardrobe item that you don't like?
Rylan
Just one. That was a performance. Oh, you're a dark Gucci shoe.
Lizzie
Use my dark. Oh, I don't really wear them because they're awful. It's hard to find something that they match with. Honestly, I love them and I can't style them.
Rylan
No, no one can.
Lizzie
Shane can. Shane wears them.
Rylan
They look good.
Lizzie
No, he has the lighter ones and. Yeah, okay, whatever.
Rylan
Was that that on that one?
Lizzie
That's it.
Rylan
If staying with me meant losing an arm or a leg, would you stay with me? Me. And remember how poorly you answered the worm one?
Lizzie
Well, are you my romantic partner in this or just my best friend? I have to pee so bad.
Rylan
It's like. It's not a real threat, dude.
Lizzie
Just. L. I'm right here, just lying. Is that my baby inside of you? Sometimes with this knee pain, I'm like.
Rylan
Just, you know what?
Lizzie
Too dark. I don't want to say something too dark.
Rylan
Say it. Well, no, no, say it.
Lizzie
It's too dark.
Rylan
No, say it.
Lizzie
Well, when my knee has been hurting, sometimes I'm like, oh, if something. No, like, you know, just like, if I'm.
Rylan
If I mercy legged you, I'd be.
Lizzie
Alleviated from the pain at least.
Rylan
So. Yeah, you. You'd lose a leg for me?
Lizzie
Yeah, of course.
Rylan
Absolutely.
Lizzie
Thank you. But think. You have three kids future. What password are you putting in? You have three kids to care for.
Rylan
I know. And I would do it legless for you. I'm just saying if we're on a vacation. It's a little risque. And they're like. They pull out a fucking saber and they hold it over the fire so that when they cut through my bones and my flesh, it's fucking cauterized. And they say, it's your leg or it's the gay. I say it's the leg. Take the leg.
Lizzie
Well, you need the gay. He's your back plan for your children, period. Hopefully. What's Katie said? Nothing.
Rylan
Let's see.
Lizzie
Katie, Katie. She's left you on me. Who Is Rob Mack. I don't even know who that is.
Rylan
Okay. Rob McCallany, the creator. One of the creators of Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Brilliant mind, hilarious guy, so funny, dedicated to his craft beyond. Owns a football team with the less popular Ryland Reynolds. Reynolds. Ryan Reynolds.
Lizzie
Anyway, who does ads on this show sometimes.
Rylan
And we love. And we love his ads when they come sometimes. So here's the deal.
Lizzie
Actually, they just asked us on my blog channel, too.
Rylan
We love him. What is the problem?
Lizzie
I have no beef with him.
Rylan
What is the product?
Lizzie
I don't have a beef with him or Blake. You guys can go come through this podcast. I've been cool about both of them.
Rylan
I don't have a beef with either of them.
Lizzie
Okay, cool.
Rylan
Okay, so.
Lizzie
Oh, my God, this is always trying to ruin business relationships for me.
Rylan
If you would just keep me in the know, I wouldn't talk about them like that.
Lizzie
Have you ever seen our show?
Rylan
I fast forward through every ad. Girl. I'm sorry. I have children. I hand feed my dog. I don't have time to listen to our ads.
Lizzie
This is why we need help.
Rylan
Help us. Okay, Rob McCann has legally changed his. His name to Rob Mack. Okay, So I put Rob Mack, ladies and gentlemen.
Lizzie
Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome.
Rylan
Rob Mac.
Lizzie
Oh, that was all the way loud. Kris Jenner.
Rylan
Well, I just thought it was interesting because you and I both changed our names and nobody welcomed us.
Lizzie
Oh, okay. Well, yeah. Please welcome us.
Rylan
Please welcome us.
Lizzie
We're waiting.
Rylan
Thank you, Chris. Okay, so we, as a celebrity Hot Topics show, we should probably mention the Amazon Bezos wedding.
Lizzie
Yeah. What's the problem? I see everyone's so mad, but, like, all of you are buying Amazon products, period. I'm just sick of the hypocrisy. It's like, she looked beautiful.
Rylan
Oh, you thought so?
Lizzie
I thought she looked beautiful.
Rylan
You loved her.
Lizzie
I loved it.
Rylan
I didn't know that everyone cared so much.
Lizzie
They don't. That's the thing with all of these talking points on the Internet. No one cares. Like, all these people that are angry or not angry, it's like they're. They want to scream into the void to make themselves feel. What?
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
And then in their real life, are they actually thinking about it? No. Unless you're, like, are one of the few that, like, stands firm and boycotts Amazon. But then where do you go? Target. Which is also bad. Trash can.
Rylan
And if you live, a dumpster buyer.
Lizzie
What? What? So it's just like when I see all this comment and I'm going to get so much backlash for this but it's like, who cares?
Rylan
You're a Bezos apologist. Now here's the deal. I do think Bezos needs to like Amazon needs to pay their employees more.
Lizzie
Because that's a problem.
Rylan
If he's, that is a problem.
Lizzie
But I saw that, whatever, I don't, I don't know, I don't know the inner workings of his employees.
Rylan
I just, the way that Amazon works generally, they, they make it really difficult for their, their employees to unionize and to get a fair way. Because like when you unionize you can strike. And when you strike you have power. And these warehouses are stripped of that power. And a lot of people who need jobs right now, Amazon has jobs right? For anyone.
Lizzie
Are they not starting high? Pretty high salaries, I thought. Not salaries, but their wages were pretty high.
Rylan
I've honestly looked at working at Amazon and it's not, not great. It's like, it's, it's not horrible. Like when I needed a job, I was like, fuck it. If I could go to Amazon and work in the stockhouse for $20 an hour, that's fine. I got my earbuds in. I don't give a fudge. I'm going there for six hours, I'm coming home, I'm getting 20 bucks an hour. Whatever.
Lizzie
Okay, I'm going to walk this back a little bit because I do understand that element of it, but I do still shame, like all of you that aren't working at Amazon, that still buy products on Amazon that are screaming into the void. I'm just a little like, yeah, but.
Rylan
I will say like in, in, it's like, like this isn't as offensive as like the owner of the Raiders pretending like his 25 year old girlfriend is with him because she liked his smile. Like the dude looks like a penis and she's 25 and he's 60 something.
Lizzie
How is this on your radar at all?
Rylan
It's because he's just, it's just so, it's laughable. He's like, no, she didn't even know who I was. She didn't know I'm a billionaire. She didn't even know who I was. She just approached me cuz she liked my smile. It's like, okay, dude, if that's how you sleep in there.
Lizzie
If he's happy, then he's happy.
Rylan
No, if he's happy then he's happy.
Lizzie
But like girl, get a strong prenup.
Rylan
Like, can I be that stupid and get that much money?
Lizzie
I think you could.
Rylan
I'm trying.
Lizzie
Oh yeah. Okay. Why No, I thought you all. I thought you meant, could I be a girl that marries a rich guy? I'm like, yeah, of course you could.
Rylan
No, I meant, like, could I be a stupid old man that makes a ton of money?
Lizzie
Hopefully.
Rylan
What the is that about? So many old men are so stupid and so rich.
Lizzie
Well, they weren't always so old. I mean, so maybe they're smart. I don't know. They found out a way to get rich. Doesn't mean they're smart, but they found something out.
Rylan
I do also feel like being that rich does crumble your brain a little bit. Like, something happens where you just become a little bit, but you don't capable.
Lizzie
Be rich for that. Now with AI, like, you crumble your brain in lots of ways. So I think it's choosing to stay actively engaged. Did I tell you, no matter what your scenario is, did I tell you.
Rylan
About my friend who was an assistant to, like, a high powered Hollywood individual who. You definitely know this person, and you definitely know this person's work. Like, all of you do.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
My friend was his assistant. Dude is so rich. Dude is so rich and so stupid. She spent a majority of her time just trying to keep him from killing himself. This guy ate nothing but sweet potatoes for a year because he's like, they're a superfood. He ate so many sweet potatoes that he built an allergen within himself. And the doctor was like, you need to eat more than sweet potatoes or you're going to die. Like, what? They're a super food. Huh? It's like, is this all you've had for over a year? It's like, yeah, dude. He's like, you look like an Oompa Loompa girl. Like, you can't just be eating sweet potatoes.
Lizzie
Cut to me as a billionaire only eating sweet potatoes.
Rylan
That would be you. And then another thing is, like, he's deathly allergic to Tylenol. And that was always, like, just trying. Well, no, he knew he was allergic because he told his assistant he's allergic. And her job, like, randomly, she'd just have to swat it out of his hands. Be like, what are you doing? You're gonna die. He's like, it's like a.
Lizzie
You have to babysit the toddler.
Rylan
Yeah. So stupid. So stupid.
Lizzie
Okay, I have to pee so bad. Kris Jenner, she asked what? For her single daughters to attend the wedding.
Rylan
Yeah, it's just people are saying that Kris Jenner and Kim were the only Kardashians invited to the wedding. And then she asked for the Single daughters to also be invited. But I don't know how legitimate this request was. Was because she brought. What's her name? Kylie. And Kylie's definitely not single.
Lizzie
She's an oh. Because she's with Timothy.
Rylan
She was a Timothy.
Lizzie
Timothy.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
But she hoped Kim's in good with them. I think Katy Perry was there too.
Rylan
She was not, actually. Oh, you know who went?
Lizzie
Congratulations.
Rylan
Orlando Bloom went. You know who's no longer together? Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom. You know who shaded Katy Perry for her space trip? Orlando Bloom.
Lizzie
He did.
Rylan
And honestly, like, that's. That's your baby mama. You know, you're making movies. Your life now is being celebrity in shitty movies. I wouldn't be shocked if you showed up on my ultra low budget non union horror set because you're a loser now. Orlando Bloom, he. It's true. Look at his recent movies that came out. You had. You. You had dad two and dad.
Lizzie
He's a great dad.
Rylan
I.
Lizzie
Okay, Elizabeth, What. What if he's sponsoring our podcast?
Rylan
What's he gonna sponsor? A podcast with a movie that nobody's seen on Amazon Prime? Straight to Amazon Prime. Self distributed on Amazon prime too.
Lizzie
Okay, we've had a lot of fun with you guys here today, and that's.
Rylan
No, I have more to say.
Lizzie
Okay, what else?
Rylan
This is. This isn't on the topics list, but it is an important moment in pop culture and it's very funny.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
JoJo's ex girlfriend, Avery. Avery and her other ex. Not Avery, the blonde that she dumped when she got with the man. Did a really funny reel together.
Lizzie
Does it have a copyright music? I'm literally gonna pee my pants. Can you show Chris?
Rylan
I don't think it's a copyright music.
Lizzie
Chris, I need you to step in for me.
Rylan
This goes crazy, though. Is this copyright music?
Lizzie
Probably, yes. Oh, my gosh. Okay.
Rylan
But it's just so good.
Lizzie
Katie Kering hates to see.
Rylan
I sent that to Claire. And I goes. I went, this goes crazy.
Lizzie
And Claire said, okay, finish this out.
Rylan
Claire said, I don't.
Lizzie
I'll see you guys in the car.
Rylan
Claire said, I don't know who they are. I was like, claire, I told you, if JoJo Siwa goes missing, I did it. Okay.
Lizzie
You're gonna see this through, right?
Rylan
Yeah. I've got two more Hot Topics. Oh, wait, I'm doing. What about Katie Craig? He's gone. He just left. So in. In addition to everyone else hating on Jeff Bezos for marrying this Lauren woman who's age appropriate and they seem like each other, and I Feel like they've had a legitimate relationship. Like none of it seems weird or creepy, Right? Chris doesn't know. He gave me a shrug. It's just me hearing my feelings about the Bezos wedding. Anyways, Katie Courig livid. She got online immediately and said some hateful about Lauren's dress and called the whole affair tacky and overdone and opulent and something welcome to the 80s when big hair and cons conspicuous consumption ruled. And then she immediately deleted it. But it's like, Katie, that was like, a lot for you, girl. Like, you were like a respected person in the public eye, right? Am I wrong about that? Is Katie courage, not respected person? All right, here's the last thing that I'm gonna talk about. You might be aware of this, Chris, okay? Scarlett Johansson and her co star lip kissing on the red carpet all over the world.
Lizzie
No, I didn't know about this.
Rylan
Not her husband.
Lizzie
Wait, that's crazy.
Rylan
Yeah, he's kidding. Gay.
Lizzie
Oh, he's gay.
Rylan
He's gay. Wait, but they're lip kissing.
Lizzie
Like how?
Rylan
Like, like passionately lip kissing.
Lizzie
Like, not like a Spaniard.
Rylan
No, no, no. Like grabbing each other's faces and lip kissing. Oh, and I would be so pissed off if Joe, like, from work was like, oh, no, it's just me and this lesbian lip kissing. Like, Joe, that's your marriage.
Lizzie
That's a little. It's interesting. Interesting.
Rylan
Do you want to hear this?
Lizzie
How did Collins. It was the longest piss of my life.
Rylan
Colin doesn't seem upset about it.
Lizzie
What are we talking?
Rylan
Your head is so hot.
Lizzie
Let me just take a little rest.
Rylan
Scarlett Johansson's out on this red carpet lip kissing her co star.
Lizzie
I saw clips of that.
Rylan
Crazy.
Lizzie
How does Colin feel?
Rylan
He's not offended by it because I guess this guy's gay, huh?
Lizzie
Should we do one?
Rylan
No. See what your husband says, it would make me feel bad.
Lizzie
Bad.
Rylan
Wouldn't that make you feel bad?
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
I don't know that I'd feel bad.
Rylan
Oh, I feel. I feel uncomfortable. Like, what if I texted Joe right now and I was like, if we.
Lizzie
Can vacation nude together.
Rylan
We're not vacationing nude together.
Lizzie
Yeah, we've been talking about going to the Four Seasons, just laying nude next to each other.
Rylan
I mean, I would never lay nude next to anyone.
Lizzie
What?
Rylan
Period.
Lizzie
Okay, we'll see you guys in the car.
Rylan
And that's the sip.
Lizzie
Yeah, we still have a whole other thing. Shut the up, Chris.
Rylan
Don't worry, Chris. We've done enough.
Lizzie
We've done enough.
Rylan
We're the luckiest girls in the world.
Lizzie
We've already done enough.
Rylan
We've graced them with our presents.
Lizzie
Why do these look like two nipples? Like two big old boobies?
Rylan
They do look like boobies.
Lizzie
Wow. How have I realized that the cockpit is staring at some big old titties?
Rylan
You know how I know you're gay?
Lizzie
Why you?
Rylan
It's been five years years for you to notice that these look like titties.
Lizzie
Took changing my point of view.
Rylan
Honestly now. No, they don't look like your titties. They look like you're between two titties.
Lizzie
Yeah, you'd have to pull that.
Rylan
You'd really like titties. Oh, Billy's playing in the water.
Lizzie
Okay, girls, you hang up.
Rylan
Oh, yeah, leave us alone.
Lizzie
You hang up.
Rylan
I'm about to look at my baby playing in the water.
Lizzie
What kind of water? Oh, a little water. Okay, goodbye. Bye.
Joe
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Lizzie
Is it just me or there, like, a lot of extremely attractive people running for this Takis menu at Wendy's right now?
Rylan
I mean, I wouldn't call most of these people attractive.
Lizzie
I would say there's like, a lot. Okay. Wow. Do you really have to be nasty?
Rylan
I'm starving.
Lizzie
So that. That makes you allowed to be nasty?
Rylan
No, I don't think you're ever allowed to be nasty. But I am, you know.
Lizzie
Okay. All right. Hello.
Rylan
Hello.
Lizzie
Oh. Two, take one. Marker. Common work. Hello, everyone. We're back at Wendy's, which normally doesn't get us views, but they have such an intriguing menu. We can't resist. And if we're being selfish, Wendy's is.
Rylan
Lit like, we always have a good ass time here.
Lizzie
And the food is always incredible at Wendy's.
Rylan
There's a tangerine twist lemonade here today.
Lizzie
Wow. Will you get some B roll of that? It's called the Takis Fuego meal. Includes a sprite. Right. Fuego fries. Oh, I got to get.
Rylan
No.
Lizzie
Oh, sorry.
Rylan
No.
Lizzie
So sorry. Oh, sorry. Chris, are you.
Rylan
How sorry are you?
Lizzie
I guess not sorry enough. I wasn't gonna back up.
Rylan
Hello.
Lizzie
Hello. Could I get three fuego meals?
Rylan
Three Fuego Meals?
Lizzie
Yes.
Rylan
What drink.
Lizzie
What drinks would you guys like?
Rylan
Can I have the tangerine one with.
Lizzie
Tangerine, one with a bottle of water, and the other with the diet Coke? We should probably also get a ten piece, just medium.
Rylan
Okay.
Lizzie
Can I get a ten piece chicken nugget, please?
Rylan
Regular and spicy. Regular.
Lizzie
Regular. Chris, do you want a regular burger or anything? Which one? And then can I get a Dave's double burger with no tomato for the gerd.
Rylan
Is that the burger?
Lizzie
Yep.
Rylan
Thank you.
Lizzie
And then can I get a Dave singles burger with no onion? Just the burger.
Rylan
Okay.
Lizzie
Do you want anything else? And that's all.
Rylan
Any cookies for 99 cents?
Lizzie
Sure.
Rylan
You got cockpit sugar and an oatmeal bar.
Lizzie
Oh, shoot. Let's try one of each.
Rylan
Oh, my God.
Lizzie
I've never had their cookies when I.
Rylan
Get a at all.
Lizzie
She upsold me it was incredible. Thank you. I. I love Wendy's.
Rylan
I do, too.
Lizzie
Can I just.
Rylan
You know what? Can we just add one more Dave single?
Lizzie
Oh, I know you can. You can have half of mine.
Rylan
Half of yours?
Lizzie
Yeah.
Rylan
Okay. Are you sure? You can add it at the window. But how are you going to add it at the window?
Lizzie
I'll add it at the window.
Rylan
The window.
Lizzie
Hello.
Rylan
How are you?
Lizzie
I'm good. How are you? Can I actually add one more thing?
Rylan
Thing. Yes.
Lizzie
I'm sorry. One. One more Dave single. Everything on.
Rylan
No mayonnaise.
Lizzie
No mayo. And cheese or no cheese? Cheese and cheese, please.
Rylan
Okay. Yes, cheese, no mayo. Everything else?
Lizzie
Yep.
Rylan
Anything else for you?
Lizzie
Nope.
Rylan
Okay. Your total comes out to 72.71.
Lizzie
Do you guys sell the shirts?
Rylan
I mean, we can. They can custom make it for you because they're. They're custom made. Made from our manager.
Lizzie
Oh, really?
Rylan
That's so cute. And then they're. They're charging us 24 for any T shirt extra you would like.
Lizzie
But no, you don't have any at the store.
Rylan
If they have the store, you're going to get it.
Lizzie
She's y. Yeah, if they have one.
Rylan
Sorry, who's calling you, Chris?
Lizzie
Is it your doctor? I was like, is this a flex? Does your doctor answer you and even.
Rylan
Call you what your business ordering?
Lizzie
Okay, no worries. Thank you very much. No worries. Thank you. You too. Do you have to answer, Chris? If you do, you can. I.
Rylan
Don't tell me to answer it. Chris.
Lizzie
See yourself out of the. No, I'm kidding.
Rylan
Okay. I had to Google what's in it because when I saw the image of it, I was like, what is that creamy spread on it? It's. It's a spicy chicken filet, a cheddar chili lime sauce. Girl is salivating. Hold on. Crusted Takis also, maybe because I'm about to vomit. And a creamy corn spread served on a premium hamburger bun.
Lizzie
Oh, hello. Sorry.
Rylan
Did you need ketchup? Any sauce?
Lizzie
Ketchup and ranch, please.
Rylan
And I got the tangerine lemonade so that my friends and I could taste it.
Lizzie
I got the Diet Coke. Coke. To drop off to my husband, even though it's gonna probably melt by the time it gets there.
Rylan
That's, like, really thoughtful, though.
Lizzie
Thank you. It's taking me how long? Honestly? We haven't done an actual drive through in so long.
Rylan
It's kind of maybe like a month.
Lizzie
Fun to do again now.
Rylan
It's like, I missed this. Who's gonna throw? You didn't.
Lizzie
Did you?
Rylan
No, I did.
Lizzie
I Kind of did. I was like, I was a little burnt out on it. But now that we haven't done it.
Rylan
In so long, it's like, are we out of spring break?
Lizzie
It's always fun to go.
Rylan
Are we still working or are we just having fun?
Lizzie
I think we're just having fun at this point. Always having fun. He's having fun.
Rylan
Chris, let us take your calls.
Lizzie
Thank you. Oh, my gosh. We got two bags. Thank you.
Rylan
Oh, they smell pisy.
Lizzie
Okay, my task for all of us.
Rylan
I can smell the nacho cheese and.
Lizzie
I want to it my task.
Rylan
We just get a side the nacho cheese.
Lizzie
Oh, no, not at this. I'm sorry. There's a line and that's. Go back.
Rylan
Go back.
Lizzie
There's a line and that's it.
Rylan
I won't survive without it.
Lizzie
And I am parking between the handicaps.
Rylan
I will self harm without some cheese.
Lizzie
This is between the hand. Why is there a spot between the handicaps?
Rylan
Oh, I'm reclining. I think we should eat laying down.
Lizzie
You want me to run in and ask her the. No, she's fine.
Rylan
I'm going to self harm. You're fine.
Lizzie
To self harm. Okay, let's start with only the, like the talking.
Rylan
There's enough for each person to have two ranches.
Lizzie
Oh, you go. Thank you.
Rylan
There's your ranch. Ranches.
Lizzie
I think these are our. This is the regular food. We're going to get to that afterwards. These are our talking meals.
Rylan
Here's your talking meal.
Lizzie
Yay.
Rylan
Here's your talking meal. Here's my talking meal. Everybody got your raunch? Does anybody need some cats here?
Lizzie
Can you tell me if the lighting's fine or if I need to turn around? I can't see the viewfinder.
Rylan
It's pretty dark. But I don't think you can turn around.
Lizzie
I mean, I can. Oh, and it just comes with a legit bag of talkies.
Rylan
Should we get those for your husband?
Chris
That's cute.
Lizzie
I will drop those off for my husband.
Rylan
Wendy's fuego fries. Shake the bag, tear the top, eat the fries.
Lizzie
What?
Rylan
That's what you have to do when you shake it.
Lizzie
I mean, I like it. I'm grateful you. Oh, my God. And then it put my phone onto me. Wait, what am I shaking?
Rylan
You're shaking the fuego fries.
Lizzie
Oh.
Rylan
So the bag also comes serrated, so you can just rip it. And it rips. Good.
Lizzie
Wow. The instructions are nice. That's nice. I'm someone who needs construction.
Rylan
Okay. I thought I shook the shit out of it. I Didn't shake good enough.
Lizzie
Oh, this is much better, huh? Now can everyone one just be like, oh, Ryland, we see what you mean. When you're searching for better lighting. We see what you mean. So you shake. Yeah. You shake and then tear. Well, Lizzy says you got to shake the out of it. Yeah.
Rylan
Cuz I.
Lizzie
You saw that.
Rylan
You shake it.
Lizzie
That's got to be.
Rylan
And there's only, like, one that's covered.
Lizzie
All right. Well, it's a noise nightmare.
Joe
Oh, that.
Lizzie
I think I did pretty good. Let everyone start with the fries. They look nice.
Rylan
Eyes. How'd you shake yours? Can I see?
Lizzie
I mean, that is.
Rylan
You sh.
Lizzie
Good filled.
Rylan
Look at mine. I only have one filled one.
Lizzie
I should lower the angle a little.
Rylan
Yeah, lower that angle, girl.
Lizzie
All right. There. Wow. This looks amazing.
Rylan
Okay. I like it better than a top.
Lizzie
Whoa. I do too.
Rylan
Like, a lot better than a Taki.
Lizzie
Because it's warm and fresh and it's a potato. I love that. Oh, my God. I've been purposefully avoiding all the reviews for this food, so.
Rylan
It's really good.
Lizzie
This is everything I like in life. Yeah, it's very good. It kind of is giving, like a. Like a little bit like a hot Cheeto. Have you had the hot fries? No, those are my favorite. It's giving a little bit of that. When I was in high school, I would get a whole bag of hot fries for lunch, and that was literally my lunch in high school. So good. Oh, the ranch.
Rylan
Are we gonna ship fuego after this?
Lizzie
Uh huh. These are incredible.
Rylan
Yeah, these go really hard.
Lizzie
Oh, my God. Putting it in ranch.
Rylan
Ranch game ginger.
Lizzie
That is like.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
The equivalent of a pie, I would assume. I've never done it.
Rylan
Oh, it's good. I'm worried about myself later, but I'm worried about the stop.
Lizzie
I'm worried about our consequences for just being with you later.
Rylan
Why? It's quiet.
Lizzie
So a regular bag of Takis. I'll give that to my husband.
Rylan
So good.
Lizzie
The lime flavor is so good. And then the Takis. This is such an iconic collaboration period. Like, it really is fun. Okay. Wendy's ex, Taki. Do not microwave. Do not microwave. Okay.
Rylan
I wonder why they had to put that on it.
Lizzie
I wonder if somebody microwaved it.
Rylan
Why are y' all microwaving these out there?
Lizzie
Are you guys ready to open this burger or what? Sorry, I'm dying. These are so good. Wow. And even. I mean, you saw me asking her for a shirt. Can I have the shirt?
Chris
Shirt.
Lizzie
How about the one off your back? But she was down to get me one. She just didn't have one. Wow, Chris, you're gonna die if you eat too much.
Rylan
It keeps falling out. Besides a bit.
Lizzie
It's little Taki crisps. Oh, wow. So there is like nacho cheese and little. Little crunched up Takis with a chicken.
Rylan
Patty and a slight corn salsa. I guessing like a street corn salsa.
Lizzie
I didn't wait for you guys. It tastes like it's gonna make me sick.
Rylan
It's not good for you.
Lizzie
But the way that it's warm really makes me feel homey.
Rylan
It's Pisces. It's Pisiness.
Lizzie
Good.
Rylan
You know what's not that cold?
Lizzie
What? This. I think you need to drink it from the top where the ice is is. It is 96 degrees outside.
Rylan
So what's next? We going to see the Dead Sea Scrolls at the Reagan Museum?
Lizzie
What's that? This is very, very, very good. But I like the fries better. The fries are the standout. Yeah.
Rylan
This is not bad, though.
Lizzie
I'm going to lock in the heat so I can let my husband have a bite.
Rylan
It burns.
Lizzie
The fries are so. Wow. Okay, I got a bite in the middle with a lot of the Takis and a lot of the corn and the cheese and that bite was crazy.
Rylan
I don't like the Takis.
Lizzie
What do you mean? Oh, like the actual Takis. Is there another straw? No. I feel like this is Shane's dream meal. I know. I'm actually should just drop this off at the office on the way home. No. Why not? Well, I don't know where you've been.
Rylan
I've been all out in the streets.
Lizzie
I know. I was like. When?
Rylan
Cheese on the side of your face.
Lizzie
I was like. Did you like. I was like pump you, your baby and your husband full of emergency and she's like, I've been rubbing us and rubbing alcohol preparing to go come back to see you.
Rylan
I have. I was like, everyone take a shot. It's not a relapse if it's for safety.
Lizzie
Wait. Oh, what did Katie say? Oh, there was a response from Katie and I said, don't tell me there's.
Rylan
A response from Katie. And it's annoying.
Lizzie
Yeah, that just put me in first place. I'm in. I'm into this.
Rylan
This is how annoying she is. Is that like a gray. A Gregor Samsa thing?
Lizzie
What does that mean?
Rylan
I said, I don't even know what that is.
Lizzie
Dude. She doesn't deserve your kids.
Rylan
She's too smart for my kids.
Lizzie
She's too smart.
Rylan
Haha.
Lizzie
Dumb them down with me.
Rylan
It's the central part. Plot of Kafka's the Metamorphosis.
Lizzie
She's speaking a different language.
Rylan
Katie, I just read Frieda McFarlane's the Tenant. I'm a fucking idiot. You think I've read Kafka? I only know Kafka because I know that smart people read it. And honestly, have you read it? Obviously, you have. Don't even answer that. No, a guy turns into a bug, usually depicted as a roach. I just said, what would you do with me if I turned. If a witch turned me into a worm? Bury you in the mud. She'd bury me in the mud.
Lizzie
What? Oh, so she's not even carrying you back to life? No, she's out.
Rylan
You got rid of me, too.
Lizzie
No, I. I came around to carry.
Rylan
No, you lied on camera to steal a couple of kids. And you know what?
Lizzie
I don't need the burden of two more kids. Fine.
Rylan
Oh, my God.
Lizzie
No.
Rylan
Take my baby. Someone has to. It has to be someone who doesn't read Kafka.
Lizzie
What did you like the most, Chris? I'm going to die. But the more that I eat this, I can't stop it. So good. The chicken sandwich, it's so, so good.
Rylan
It's. Actually, I was into the sandwich until I got the Taki, and then I.
Lizzie
Was like, I don't. I'm. I'm. I mean, I've screamed.
Rylan
I really like fries.
Lizzie
Every platform that can tolerate me has heard my distaste for Takis.
Rylan
They just kind of taste stale.
Lizzie
They're just. It's too. It's flavor overload for me. But when you put it in the context of a fry.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
Whether you do or do not like Takis, it doesn't matter. You'll love this. Yeah. I think the menu.
Rylan
I love these fries.
Lizzie
Really.
Rylan
I loathe Takis. I'm double dipping.
Lizzie
Well, it's too late, girl.
Rylan
We got ranch rations.
Lizzie
Did you want to try the ranch, Chris?
Rylan
He got a ranch.
Lizzie
Oh, he's already dipping and doing it back there.
Rylan
Yeah, he's not an idiot.
Lizzie
So how's your life, Chris? Oh, no, we have two up here.
Rylan
Chris, ask your boyfriend what he would do with you if you were a worm.
Lizzie
Should I? Yes. Okay. We have to know.
Rylan
You have a right to know.
Lizzie
We actually have to know and ask you machine. Well, I do want to go drop some of this off to him, and then we'll eat our regular burgers with him.
Rylan
Okay.
Lizzie
This is the happiest I've been doing one of these in a while. Like, this is such a good experience. It really is good. Like, how can you up at Wendy's and wait until we get into their regular burgers? Oh, incredible.
Rylan
Incredible.
Lizzie
Okay, everyone do thumbnail faces. I know, but just here too.
Rylan
Attacking the fries.
Lizzie
Well, I am genuinely satisfied. I would. Here's what I would do.
Rylan
I will never be satisfied.
Lizzie
If I were you guys, I would come to Wendy's, I would get the Taki fries and get a regular Dave's burger period.
Rylan
Or get the Taki burger sans the Taki.
Lizzie
Oh, we have to sample the cookie. Cookies.
Rylan
Oh, we got cookies.
Lizzie
Yeah. I've never had a Wendy's cookie.
Rylan
I know, but now you're gonna have all of them.
Lizzie
Can you find them in there? Can you find them in there? Where art thou?
Rylan
My name is Angelica. Skyler.
Lizzie
Watch. They're probably in. Honestly, I want to finish the sandwich, but I know I shouldn't.
Rylan
Here's a not fair.
Lizzie
Okay, there's two more cookies. This is a regular generic chocolate chip chip. Oh, this is like raisin.
Rylan
All right. I already have bubble guts.
Lizzie
Okay, I'm starting to think their cookies. Oh, don't look that good. Uh oh. Oh no. I didn't even want to finish this.
Rylan
I'm not even gonna do you want.
Lizzie
Some of this, Chris? I would love to try a cookie.
Rylan
Even with that review.
Lizzie
A bad cookie is better than no cookie. I say I'm not. I give their cookie. Like if we're comparing it to any other cookies that you can buy any anywhere. It's an F. It's a hard flat F. Oh, it's really hard. It's not a good start. Really hard. Really. Still, I have to go potty. Do you want to go in there or do you want to go to the office? Let's go.
Rylan
Let's hurry.
Lizzie
Their cookies are nothing to get. Don't get them these cookies. Oh no.
Rylan
Eat the Takis meal near a bathroom. I actually might have to use this one.
Lizzie
Wait, now I'm already out.
Rylan
Well, you're going to have to back back in. Do it. No, I'll hold it.
Lizzie
We're five minutes away.
Rylan
Not even if as a dignified mother, I in this car right now on the way to the office, I swear to God I'm gonna self harm.
Lizzie
That's fine. Okay, you guys, thank you so much for watching.
Rylan
We're not drinking the rest of our food.
Lizzie
What? Oh, at the. I guess we can. Okay, we'll see you in a minute.
Rylan
I just want to know what Shane would do with you, if you're warm.
Lizzie
We'll ask him in person.
Rylan
Should we ask Spencer what he would do with any of us?
Lizzie
Hang up the phone and we'll be back.
Rylan
Bye, clack.
Lizzie
Okay, what's your question?
Rylan
All right. Hi, I'm Lizzie Gordon and I'm here with the Shane Dawson. Today we are asking our partners what they would do with us if we became worms.
Lizzie
Literal worms.
Rylan
Rylan's out in the streets. He's being Ryland. A witch comes up to him cuz she can't stand him. She turns him into a worm.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
What do you do with him?
Chris
A? Put him in my pocket.
Lizzie
No one wants to keep me.
Chris
Wait, you wait.
Lizzie
What?
Chris
I would keep you if that's keeping.
Rylan
He's keeping you.
Lizzie
You asked him about me? Yeah. So it wasn't about you.
Rylan
Kill me and my best friend was like, I'll put you in the mud.
Lizzie
What did I say? Verbatim. I don't think it was worms.
Rylan
Can't complain.
Lizzie
They can't.
Rylan
He's much more.
Lizzie
Shane's life would be.
Chris
They can't throw things.
Lizzie
Shane's life would be a lot more chill. Okay.
Rylan
He would keep me in case I could get turned back.
Lizzie
The best part about this collab was the fries. The fries are incredible. Look at that.
Rylan
Well, he needs a ranch.
Lizzie
Oh, you do need a ranch. Do we have any ranch?
Rylan
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I brought all the ranch rations.
Lizzie
I don't know that you're going to want to go after our burgers.
Chris
Sandwich.
Lizzie
There is a sandwich. I don't know if you're gonna want to like.
Chris
You could try the disgusting Erewhon smoothie I got.
Lizzie
Oh yeah. Travis Scott's movie.
Chris
You mean Shout Out Travis? It tasted like. Why?
Lizzie
I like the flavor, but I don't like the texture.
Rylan
You like the flavor?
Lizzie
You come drinker, you come guzzle.
Rylan
I know.
Chris
Get his pronouns right.
Rylan
I'm not firing on all cylinders.
Lizzie
I don't think it.
Chris
I think it tastes.
Rylan
Fucks so hard.
Chris
Oh, I love it.
Rylan
Yeah.
Lizzie
Good, right?
Chris
How's the sandwich?
Rylan
It's interesting.
Chris
Okay.
Rylan
But you'll probably like it because you like Takis.
Lizzie
That one was mine. Shane, so.
Rylan
So in it is nacho cheese, street corn spread and crushed up Takis on a spicy chicken patty.
Lizzie
Really?
Rylan
The fries? Not bad.
Chris
The Takis get a little lost.
Rylan
Yeah, well, not when you find them, period.
Chris
I like if the Takis were crushed and breaded over the chicken.
Rylan
I wouldn't mind if the. If the chicken was dipped in the Taki powder like the fries. I would with it, much harder. But I don't like the actual taste of a Taki.
Chris
Whatever Chris is eating looks fake. That looks like animal crossing.
Lizzie
Well, we got real burgers too, because we actually enjoy their real burgers.
Chris
Bite looks fake. You know what I mean? Like.
Lizzie
Wendy's is good. Here's yours.
Rylan
Wendy's is good. It doesn't perform well.
Chris
What else is there?
Lizzie
Thank you, guys.
Rylan
Click.
Lizzie
More Wendy's videos.
Chris
What are these?
Rylan
My nugs.
Lizzie
Oh, yeah. You can have one.
Rylan
I've been on a nugget.
Lizzie
I'm sorry.
Rylan
No, no, Just eat it. There's something. You don't have to eat it. But it's. There's ton of them. I don't care. Is the least amount. You can order 10?
Lizzie
I don't know. No way.
Chris
You could definitely order less.
Lizzie
I gotta reply to the worm thing.
Rylan
What did your boyfriend say?
Lizzie
I think it's worse than yours.
Rylan
He's gonna go fishing with you.
Lizzie
Yes.
Chris
I said, my love, if I turned.
Lizzie
Into a worm, what would you do? And he put this little thing. He said, take you fishing. And I was like, wow, Impale you in a hook and drown. Yes. And then he tried to save it by being like. Like, babe, I would be able to catch all kinds of fish because you're a snack right now. So imagine if you're a worm and I'm like, no, don't try to save this. You're murdering me.
Rylan
He wants you dead.
Lizzie
Okay, well, we're gonna eat our burgers and.
Chris
Oh, we're in the thumbnail. We gotta give a little something.
Lizzie
I didn't say no. I said you didn't have to be in the thumbnail.
Chris
You've been taken out of the thumbnail.
Rylan
No.
Lizzie
Well, I just think people are gonna be upset if you're in the video for two seconds and we put you in the thumbnail.
Chris
Well, let's give them some juicy.
Rylan
Oh, what's the gospel? Awesome.
Chris
Juicy Q A. I don't know. What's juicy?
Rylan
Girl, I don't know, but it's about to be all of our behinds after these talkies.
Chris
Thank God there's three bathrooms here.
Rylan
There's three?
Chris
Yeah.
Lizzie
Where's the third one, two, three.
Rylan
Oh, you have one.
Chris
I do.
Lizzie
It's right behind these.
Chris
Yeah, you can use it.
Lizzie
Look at how beautiful.
Chris
Go try the Go get the Air Wan smoothie. It does look trappy in the thumbnail.
Lizzie
Is it good?
Chris
What is that?
Lizzie
This is just a regular date.
Chris
Really good.
Rylan
It is really good.
Chris
The people slurp was too much. Okay, can I. I have a. Actually, this is juicy.
Rylan
Yeah.
Chris
I got to a fight yesterday because Rylan was like, yes. On my office party podcast, we talked about how Rylan blames me for his farts because of my.
Lizzie
This is. I told you I didn't want to wake this up. No.
Chris
Because I'm pushed. Whatever. So, anyways, sorry.
Rylan
That hand motion was, like.
Lizzie
I'm saying a sex fart is, like, too disgusting.
Rylan
This makes me want to die.
Lizzie
Me, too. And it's, like, melted. Okay, let me bring a spoon out so I can get some of, like, the more frozen.
Chris
So he got mad. He was like, I can't believe you brought that up. I was like, oh, my God, you should have told me to cut it out. He's like, no, it's funny. And I'm like, okay, but you're not mad. He goes, no. And then I said, well, you've said crazier things on the sip. And he's like, no, I haven't. I'm like, you literally have set You. First of all, you talked about number three.
Rylan
Yeah.
Chris
Second of all, you, book hates you. Yes. Second of all, thank you. Second of all, all, you talked about how you like to suck on balls.
Lizzie
I reluctantly talked about number three. That was for the podcast.
Rylan
I didn't know.
Chris
I was like, oh, no, you did. I was on my walking pad. I almost slipped off. And then later that night, I looked at you, and I was like, huh? You said you love sucking balls, so where's the proof?
Rylan
Where's the proof he doesn't suck your balls? Today he offered to suck.
Lizzie
I always suck his balls.
Chris
I made the thumbnail. I feel like I made the thumbnail after that period. All right, let me try this.
Rylan
Wait.
Lizzie
Why don't you guys. Guys like about this? What?
Chris
You love the C smoothie.
Lizzie
I like the flavor. I don't like. This is delicious. It's like kiwi. It's like dragon fruit.
Chris
He's like, I'm addicted.
Lizzie
I want more.
Chris
I want it in my butt.
Rylan
No, I actually can't watch you eat it. It's so thick.
Lizzie
I don't mind the flavor. I don't mind it. It tastes kind of like a gummy bear. I think it's really good. Like, I really want to know what's in it.
Rylan
It's just Travis Scott cum.
Lizzie
Wow. It's good. It was good enough for Kylie.
Chris
It's good enough for him. Oh, wow. Kylie made the thumbnail.
Rylan
Thank you, everyone.
Lizzie
And who else do they know I.
Chris
Make the thumbnails and how horrible it is?
Rylan
How horrible.
Chris
He comes to me at like, what. What day is this?
Rylan
Wednesday.
Chris
He comes to me Tuesday night. Knock, knock. Hey, like, what? And he goes, you know what time it is? And I was like, oh, no, it's thumbnail time. And I'm like, what are you going to do for me?
Rylan
And that's when he sucks your balls. And then he goes, I do everything.
Chris
I'm like, okay, fine. So thank you, guys. Please.
Rylan
If.
Chris
If you'd like to leave a nice little comment about the thumbnail.
Lizzie
I'm not. They actually get mad at you in the thumbnails because Lizzie's smaller than us. And then they're really mad.
Chris
Oh, my God.
Lizzie
And I actually, like, nastily replied to one.
Chris
Then, you know what? Let him make the thumbnail, you guys.
Rylan
That's what he said.
Lizzie
You will be so smart. I said, click on those. She was like, it's disrespectful to your co host. And I was like, no, that keeps the views up. And if we didn't have views, there would be no job, so there'd be no show, and people would be out of jobs. So actually, it's a lot of respect to everyone on the show, period. What, do you feel isolated? Are you a victim? Yes.
Chris
Lizzie would like herself less in the thumbnails. Every time I put Liz and more Photoshop, she goes, you know, I don't like that face. Or I. You know, that's a Photoshop.
Rylan
That's not your fault.
Chris
I think you're beautiful.
Rylan
I'm not great at thumbnailing.
Chris
Right? You're not?
Rylan
No, no.
Chris
Whenever I ask for thumbnail, I ask them to do thumbnail faces. They give me the worst lighting, the worst possible angles. They. They, like, park under seven trees. Like, it just looks. And then they post.
Lizzie
I try really hard for the lighting is so good.
Chris
He gives me the faces, baby. I have thumbnails for days.
Lizzie
Chris and Spencer are the thumbnail kings.
Rylan
I don't give anything.
Chris
Well, Spencer, we need to do a little coaching because.
Lizzie
Serves, though.
Chris
Yes.
Rylan
Because Spencer delivers.
Lizzie
Is it too dramatic?
Chris
He does a little too much because.
Lizzie
I think it looks too fake.
Chris
It's a little too fake, but also like Spencer's genuine smile. That's what I need. Right? There we go. Got it, baby.
Rylan
For the thumbnail.
Lizzie
Lock it in, Come around. But no.
Chris
Lizzie and Rylan are very bad at it. Rylan just gives the same. And then Lizzy. Lizzy could not care less.
Lizzie
And she just.
Chris
She'll have something in her hand that I have to Photoshop at.
Lizzie
Like, Even today I go, thumbnail.
Rylan
I did. She'll go.
Chris
And then I'm like, if I use this, Lizzie's gonna text me and say, why'd you use that?
Rylan
Oh, I'll never text you. Because I'm grateful you do it.
Chris
Thank you.
Lizzie
Okay, what's this? That energy in the most I'll say.
Rylan
To you is before I walk away from you, I'll say, you spit, girl.
Chris
AI, I have a preset for Lizzy. It's on Face app.
Rylan
Look at these thumbnails I made for myself, which they're not even made. I just took pictures.
Chris
What's on your head?
Rylan
That's a T shirt.
Lizzie
Scott's smoothie. Look what's in it. Yeah, it's so much. I can't even. It's just comprehend. Yeah, it's just. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come.
Rylan
Every strain of weed he smoked recently.
Lizzie
It's like. It's like when people do their. Like blood. Like Lil Nas X Blood in the shoe. There's a little bit of cum in each smoothie.
Chris
You know what you should do for this episode?
Lizzie
What?
Rylan
Cum.
Lizzie
When. Yes.
Chris
Shots. When we do thumbnail faces, you should leave it in raw footage.
Lizzie
We already done the thumbnail. Oh, we're doing it again.
Chris
Sweetie, sweetie, I don't need your blurry ass.
Lizzie
Lighting's fine here.
Chris
Terrible lighting. No, it's not.
Lizzie
No.
Chris
We need to go in the thunder area.
Lizzie
Thank you, guys for watching this sip. Make sure you're supporting all of us. Links are in the description section below.
Rylan
Say more.
Lizzie
What do you have to say? Hey, guys, make sure you click on the links down below. And what's my biological sign after his birthday's coming up?
Rylan
He's a Leo.
Chris
Leo energy.
Lizzie
It's soon, I guess.
Chris
Big Leo energy.
Lizzie
All right, you guys, thanks for watching the sip. We love you so much. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. And that's the sip.
Chris
Bye, guys.
Rylan
Make sure you eat your Takis near a toilet.
Lizzie
Whoa.
Chris
Oh, my God, it's so spicy. It's so hot. Big eyes, big eyes looking into the camera. Oh, my God, it's so spicy.
Rylan
Don't do this to me.
Chris
It hurts. It hurts, it hurts.
Lizzie
Oh, are we putting this in? Let me put the microphone.
Rylan
Oh, yeah, it's directional.
Chris
God, your butt hurts. Your butt hurts. Oh, my butt. Okay, Rylan.
Lizzie
Okay.
Rylan
Who's directing this?
Chris
Oh, Rylan. Oh. Oh, my God. It's spicy. Okay. Oh, my God. It's funny. Oh, my God. Huh? Okay. Yeah. And your butt hurts. Oh, my gosh. Whoa. It's so hot. Okay, Chris. Okay. Oh, my God, it's so spicy looking into the camera. Oh, my God. Oh, my mouth is on fire. Maybe touch your tongue. Big eyes. Big eyes. Big eyes. Oh, yeah. Okay, Spencer.
Rylan
Okay, Spencer, we're all lost. Be vulnerable.
Chris
Oh, my gosh. What is this? Oh, it's kind of funny. Wait, what? Oh, yeah, Looking into the camera. Oh, my God. What did Shane do? What? Is. Is this real? Wendy, why'd you do that? Now give me a big, genuine smile laugh. Oh. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Try to open your eyes a little bit more. Oh, yeah, that's good. Looking over to your right, like, oh, my God. What did he do over there? Okay, great.
Lizzie
Okay, here I am to direct my husband's thumbnail. Here's he's checking what's up his nose. He's got to make sure he's looking good. Great. Fabulous. Okay, and we're almost ready. And three, two, one. Okay. It's delicious. It's spicy. It's fun. There's a dick in your ass.
Chris
I don't. I don't need direction. I'm just kidding.
Lizzie
It's, like, quiet. Yeah, my direction was more for people listening at home.
Chris
Well, I didn't want them to think I'm a bad actor.
Lizzie
Oh.
Chris
Because I wasn't taking your direction.
Lizzie
Oh, right. Okay. But you can keep going. Did you get it? It's been like a minute.
Chris
Wait, I think that was it. Hold on.
Lizzie
That was it. I think that was it.
Chris
That was it.
Lizzie
Okay. And that's the sip.
Rylan
Sa.
Podcast Summary: "Tasting The TAKIS x WENDY’S Collab with Shane and Spencer!!"
Title: The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon
Host/Author: Ryland Adams
Episode Release Date: July 2, 2025
Episode Title: Tasting The TAKIS x WENDY’S Collab with Shane and Spencer!!
The episode kicks off with Ryland Adams (Rylan) and co-host Lizze Gordon engaging in their signature playful banter, discussing personal relationships and daily antics.
A significant portion of the episode delves into Rylan's frustrations with her Orange Theory gym membership.
Membership Cancellation Issues:
Rylan (05:33) describes her battle: “I was David. Orange Theory was Goliath. And I took on that corporation.”
She details the lack of empathy from the gym’s management when she tried to cancel her membership due to pregnancy, highlighting rigid policies and poor customer service.
Forged Doctor’s Note:
Frustrated by the gym's refusal to waive fees without official documentation, Rylan (12:08) admits, “One of my friends doctored a doctor's note for me.”
This action underscores her desperation and dissatisfaction with the gym’s handling of her situation.
The conversation shifts to travel plans and vacation ideas, reflecting the hosts' desire for relaxation amidst their busy lives.
Arizona Outing:
Rylan (16:48) shares insights from her trip: “The patrons were pretty chill,” praising the friendly atmosphere of the Arizona Kaiser’s farmer’s market and Target stores.
Future Vacation Plans:
Ideas about renting a lake house or utilizing friends' RVs are discussed, showcasing their enthusiasm for family-friendly adventures.
Lizze (33:08) muses, “We're gonna be RV girls. We're gonna do this,” while Rylan (33:17) counters with a preference for an Airbnb lake house, emphasizing comfort and affordability.
Rylan and Lizze share humorous and relatable stories about parenting, highlighting the challenges and joys of raising children.
Kids’ Behavior on Trips:
Rylan (17:58) talks about her son, Billy: “He was like, you want to fly to Hawaii with him? I was like, I do. I don't think you're gonna make it back.”
The hosts laugh over their children's antics, providing a lighthearted look into their family lives.
Balancing Parenthood and Personal Time:
Discussions about managing household duties and carving out personal time reveal their struggles and camaraderie as working mothers.
Staying true to the podcast’s theme, Rylan and Lizze dive into current pop culture events and celebrity news, offering their unfiltered opinions.
Jeff Bezos’ Wedding:
Lizze (48:44) comments on the hypocrisy of public outrage versus actual consumer behavior: “She looked beautiful,” highlighting societal double standards.
Scarlett Johansson’s Red Carpet Moments:
The hosts discuss rumors about Scarlett Johansson and her co-star’s lip-kissing incidents, questioning the authenticity and public reception of such displays.
Rylan (56:58) says, “He’s gay,” in reference to the co-star, sparking a conversation about celebrity relationships and public perception.
Katie Couric’s Comments on Weddings:
Rylan (51:10) addresses Katie Couric’s critical remarks about a recent wedding, emphasizing the tension between public figures and their social media presence.
The highlight of the episode is the tasting of the TAKIS x Wendy’s collaboration, where the hosts share their candid reactions to the unique menu items.
First Impressions:
Lizze (61:20) exclaims, “Wow, it’s so spicy,” upon trying the Fuego fries, while Rylan (64:54) humorously complains, “I’ve been on a nugget,” expressing her disdain mixed with amusement.
Flavor and Texture Reactions:
The hosts discuss the balance of flavors and textures, with Lizze praising the warm, fresh taste reminiscent of high school lunches, and Rylan critiquing the overt spiciness:
Lizze (69:29): “This is everything I like in life. Yeah, it’s very good.”
Rylan (69:37): “I loathe Takis. I’m double dipping.”
Visual and Sensory Experience:
The playful interaction continues as they describe the appearance and handling of the food, adding humor to their tasting experience:
Lizze (70:14): “I like the flavor, but I don’t like the texture.”
The episode includes interactive elements where listeners are prompted to engage with questions, enhancing the community feel of the podcast.
"What If" Scenarios:
The hosts entertain humorous hypothetical situations, such as swapping lives or transforming into worms, fostering a lighthearted and entertaining atmosphere.
Thumbnail Creation:
A recurring joke revolves around the challenges of creating appealing thumbnails for their podcast, with Lizze (84:17) humorously critiquing the process: “We are the luckiest girls in the world.”
The episode wraps up with a mix of humor, candid discussions, and engaging taste tests, staying true to the podcast's promise that "nothing is off limits." Rylan and Lizze leave listeners with a blend of relatable stories, entertaining gossip, and a satisfying culinary adventure with the TAKIS x Wendy’s collaboration.
Notable Quotes:
This summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, highlighting the dynamic between the hosts, their personal experiences, and their take on current pop culture trends, all while providing an engaging and informative overview for new listeners.