Tasting VIRAL Celebrity Foods! OREO KRISPY KREME Donuts Collab!!!

Summary

The Sip with Ryland Adams and Lizze Gordon

Episode: Tasting VIRAL Celebrity Foods! OREO KRISPY KREME Donuts Collab!!!
Date: March 11, 2026
Hosts: Ryland Adams & Lizze Gordon, with Chris

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The Sip is an energetic, fast-paced ride through pop culture, health woes, chaotic friendship dynamics, and, most importantly, a live taste test and review of viral celebrity food collabs—specifically, the new Krispy Kreme x OREO donuts. Ryland and Lizze infuse every discussion with humor and brutal honesty, whether they're debating LA neighborhoods, swapping health horror stories, or gaslighting their way through parenting mishaps. The donut tasting is both celebration and torment, as Lizze’s current dairy and soy-free lifestyle means she’s left drooling on the sidelines.

---

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Friendship & Podcast Dynamics

• The episode opens with comic complaints about illness and podcast prep (00:00–01:39). Lizze accuses Ryland of making her itchy with his sickly presence, establishing their roasty, affectionate banter.
• They reminisce about podcasting together for five years—half of Ryland’s relationship with Shane—and relating how the show has become a weekly ritual for their friend Chris (01:39–02:29).

Memorable Quote

"This silence is truly turning to violence." — Ryland (03:09)

2. Mom Life & Sleep Deprivation

• Lizze is frazzled from sleep-coaching her newborn, Ernie (03:13–03:29). Being dairy- and now soy-free for breastfeeding reasons drives much of her food-related suffering.

3. Pranks & Teenage Antics

• Lizze recounts a high school prank involving replacing a Coke chaser with soy sauce as payback to an “asshole” party guest (04:13–06:15).
• Ryland comments on Lizzie’s talent for maintaining friendships despite her “vindictive” streak (07:01–07:09).

Notable Quote

"He tried to kill me after that… That's the title of my autobiography." — Lizze (06:27)

4. Artichoke Fails and 'Prison Sauce'

• Ryland’s inability to eat artichokes properly is teased (08:28–09:44).
• Lizze shares her “prison sauce” recipe for steamed artichokes: soy sauce, mayo, Tapatio, and Worcestershire sauce (10:06–10:55).

5. LA Neighborhood Debates

• The group dives into an impassioned argument about LA’s east side vs. Valley living, with Lizze staunchly against moving anywhere not considered the Valley (13:10–18:14).
• Ryland considers moving to Eagle Rock, near Pasadena; Lizzie changes her tune once Pasadena is brought up ("My dick is so hard for Pasadena after watching Rumor Has It"—31:44).
• This morphs into a love letter to Pasadena’s vibe, architecture, and lifestyle (31:44–33:22).

6. Health Woes: Rashes, Allergies, and Ringworm

• Ryland details a comedy of medical errors: ear infection, allergies/post-nasal drip, and now a mysterious rash (20:13–26:14).
• Lizzie voices horror at possibly catching poison oak or "chig bugs" from Ryland (22:08–23:49).
• The two swap stories of zoonotic afflictions, and Lizze exposes Ryland for secretly suffering ringworm (34:00–34:16).

7. Parenting & Toddler Language Explosions

• Lizzie shares cuteness overload: her son Billy’s new baby-words and "peace" sign (35:46–35:52), while Ryland recounts accidentally teaching his kid to swear (35:52–36:14).
• The crew debates the best ways to prank and gaslight spouses (36:33–37:02).

8. Viral Food Taste Test: Krispy Kreme x OREO Donuts (42:13–51:02)

• Donut #1: Celebration (Golden Oreo)
  • Ryland: "The vibe is soft and delicious." (43:44)
  • Slightly too much frosting, but both Ryland and Chris are obsessed.
• Donut #2: Chocolate Oreo Dream Donut
  • Chris: "This might be one of the best donuts I’ve ever had." (47:19)
  • Donut gets top marks for its complex chocolate layers and mix of crunch and softness.
• Donut #3: Oreo Cookies & Cream Filled
  • Too sweet with a heavy cream/icing center; Lizzie's relieved to sit this one out due to allergy restrictions.
• Classic Glazed
  • Ryland: "Nothing beats a classic." (51:05)
  • Universal agreement that the original Krispy Kreme remains undefeated.

Memorable Moment

"You eating these might also be something you need to put on OnlyFans." — Lizze (49:50)

9. Pop Culture & Viral Moments

• Viral video breakdown: McDonald’s CEO taking tiny burger bites (“Are those even his hands?”—Lizzie, 61:46)
• Petsmart naming debate (“Is it Pets Mart or Pet Smart?”). Chris confirms via Petsmart’s social that it’s “Pet Smart” (68:08), sparking another round of semantic analysis.

10. Social Etiquette Rants

• Both hosts rage against people who play phone videos at full volume in public and horror-movie theater chewers (69:27–72:13).
• A woman being removed from a flight for watching phone reels too loudly is celebrated.

---

Choice Quotes & Memorable Exchanges

• On Pasadena Real Estate

  Lizzie: "Could you buy me a house there too? I’ve literally never asked you for a house... this is the first time I’ve ever asked." (31:20)

• On Donut Review

  Chris: "This might be one of the best donuts I’ve ever had." (47:19) Lizzie: "I might have to mute Chris' chewing." (44:49)

• On Health Perils

  Lizzie: "As someone who’s afflicted with many things right now—yourself." (54:00) Ryland: "Some could say I’m a lemon." (54:04)

• On Parenting Slipups

  Ryland: "Max just started running around the house, 'Ah, shit! Ah, shit!'" (36:14) Lizzie: "You should have gaslit the nanny." (36:17)

• On Public Etiquette

  Lizzie: "If you've ever been to the Van Nuys DMV, you understand my need to blow up a government building." (69:29)

---

Timestamped Highlights

• 00:00–03:09: Banter about illness and podcast disorganization
• 04:13–06:32: Lizze’s soy-sauce party prank story
• 08:28–10:55: Artichoke eating woes, ‘prison sauce’ recipe
• 13:10–18:14: LA neighborhood debate—Valley, Eagle Rock, Pasadena
• 20:13–26:14: Ryland’s epic health woes and mysterious rash
• 35:46–36:14: Parenting, toddler swear words
• 42:13–51:02: Krispy Kreme x OREO taste test & review
• 61:33–62:30: McDonald's CEO viral burger bite dissection
• 65:01–69:14: The "PetSmart vs. Pet Smart" viral debate—case closed!

---

Tone & Style Notes

• The tone is candid, irreverent, and hyper-energetic with classic “best friends roasting each other” energy.
• Ryland and Lizze skew very LA, name-dropping local spots and referencing neighborhood stereotypes with affectionate disdain.
• Even while discussing health issues or family drama, the mood rarely turns serious—punchlines come frequently, and very little is off limits.

---

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is a quintessential Sip mix of wild energy, messy realness, celebrity snark, and unfiltered food reviews. You’ll hear the hosts:

• Hype and review the viral Krispy Kreme x OREO donut collab (sorry, dairy-free listeners!).
• Air grievances about LA geography, dermatitis, and sleep deprivation.
• Drag the McDonald’s CEO’s viral burger-bite and settle the Petsmart / Pet Smart debate.
• Bicker about etiquette, parenting fails, and who’s the bigger walking health hazard.

In short: You’ll get big laughs, foodie FOMO, and maybe avoid public phone-video offenders for the rest of your life.

---

Endnote

No matter the venue or viral food trend, The Sip leaves you craving a little more chaos—and maybe a donut (if you dare).

Transcript

[Lizzie]

Dealing with post nasal drip. You don't know trauma.

[Ryland]

I'm sorry to take away from that. I'm gonna have to have a discussion with management.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I'm so fucking itchy sitting next to your sick ass, I can't even stand it.

[Chris]

Why are you in an emergency room?

[Ryland]

What happened? I predicted that exact reaction. What?

[Lizzie]

Well, this might be a problematic.

[Ryland]

Okay, then don't.

[Lizzie]

I'm gonna just say it. He tried to kill me. After that, if there's someone that I want to upset, I will upset them. Stop pressuring me with that M mic.

[Chris]

Well, they do work well.

[Ryland]

What if you say something funny and they can't hear you because you're not mic'd?

[Lizzie]

Well, you're not even holding it close enough to me too. There we go.

[Ryland]

See, I. We had. We're. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the podcast shed where it all began five short years ago. Half. Half of my relationship with Shane.

[Lizzie]

Low key. It has been short, huh?

[Ryland]

You are. Whatever.

[Lizzie]

I give up.

[Ryland]

Yeah, okay, thanks. That was like a big workout to.

[Lizzie]

Speaking of workouts, I've started doing slight movements.

[Ryland]

Oh, I forgot to cut on the after sip.

[Lizzie]

Cut on that.

[Ryland]

Oops. Goodbye, girls. A little overlap if you haven't. Oh, this is right up top. It could start some drama. But we do have a lot of fun on the Patreon. And you get a vlog every single week from the three of us girls.

[Lizzie]

You sure do.

[Ryland]

Chugger chat. Lots of fun. You don't have to join. No pressure, but it's there. I only say that because I was recording the after sip and it's important

[Lizzie]

that the people know where they can

[Ryland]

come to get more.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, it's a nice community.

[Ryland]

If you didn't get enough of us screaming here, you can go there.

[Lizzie]

And we scream louder.

[Ryland]

Louder. Harder. Heavier. Uncensored.

[Lizzie]

Uncensored. Af.

[Ryland]

So we're back.

[Lizzie]

We're back.

[Ryland]

Half of Shane and I's relationship, we've been together. You and I.

[Lizzie]

Why are you saying that?

[Ryland]

Well, because next week. I don't. I'm talking about this prematurely, but next week is Shane and I's 10 year anniversary.

[Lizzie]

Oh my goodness.

[Ryland]

So when I'm saying five years, I'm realizing that's half.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, that seems crazy, isn't it? It seems like such a short amount of time.

[Ryland]

Are we closer than we've ever been? Like in proximity?

[Lizzie]

Probably.

[Ryland]

I'm uncomfortable.

[Lizzie]

For real.

[Ryland]

Well, I don't. Should we get closer? I love you.

[Lizzie]

Something about having a second baby and being postpartum again is making me really affectionate really?

[Ryland]

Because I have been never more offended by you.

[Lizzie]

Calm down.

[Ryland]

This show. This show starts on Sunday nights when we start planning. Uh huh. It's what Chris looks forward to every week.

[Lizzie]

Our little fight in the chat.

[Ryland]

And you gave us nothing. Silence. Silence in the chat. I was like, hey, we're back to where it all began. Just like the Laguna beach reunion and crickets from Lizzie. Chris is like, yay, see you there. Nothing. Lizzie's just MIA this morning I say, I sent Krispy Kreme to your house because it's too far to be delivered to my house. Crickets?

[Lizzie]

No. I said, I'm gonna be late.

[Ryland]

And I was like, but it's coming early and that's it. And then I kept saying, like, Monday, Monday. A reference to our favorite McDonald's employee. Nothing. And then I was like, I'm tracking her. She's still at home. Nothing. Chris, are you picking her up? Again?

[Lizzie]

Nothing.

[Ryland]

I'm like, this silence is truly turning into violence. What did you have against me this morning?

[Lizzie]

I don't know. I was just busy. I don't know what to say because I'm trying to do like I've told everybody every week. I feel like I'm doing sleep coaching light with Ernie. And so when he goes down for a nap, it's like a. Like it's a nail biting time because

[Ryland]

you don't know if it will happen or not.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. Oh, it's terrifying. So I'm either gonna be trapped in darkness for a couple of hours or it's gonna go well. Or he's gonna go well for a minute and then it's not gonna go well much longer than a minute. It's so.

[Ryland]

It's.

[Lizzie]

And all my makeup was this morning. All my makeup was in my bathroom, which is in my room, so I couldn't get ready.

[Ryland]

Right.

[Lizzie]

There's just a lot.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

And last night you were texting during bedtime.

[Ryland]

Right.

[Lizzie]

So I'm, you know, nursing a newborn and nursing a 15 year old and, and, and husband. And my husband's nursing and I'm nursing my dogs and it's a lot of people nursing. It's. And I'm. And I'm so hungry. I'm so, so hungry.

[Ryland]

Do you want to just rip into one of the Krispy Kremes?

[Lizzie]

No, I don't think I can have the Krispy Kreme.

[Ryland]

Because you're dairy free. Because Ernie's trying to ruin your life.

[Lizzie]

I'm trying. Dairy and soy now because I had soy. I had soy sauce for the first time. Like, a large quantity of soy sauce for the first time.

[Ryland]

You were chugging it, like, shots low.

[Lizzie]

And I. That reminds me of a story from when I was an alcoholic.

[Ryland]

Do you want to take us there?

[Lizzie]

Do you want to know?

[Ryland]

I mean, sure I do, actually.

[Lizzie]

So I've always been one to, like, push the buttons, you know what I mean? Especially when drinking. If there's someone that I want to upset, I will upset them. So I was, like, in high school, and my friend's little sister Brittany was drinking with us, which is probably not good, but we were. We've all okay since growing up and decided we all shouldn't be taking any kind of substances.

[Ryland]

We were all 21 there.

[Lizzie]

We were all of age. And this guy that Brittany was with was like an A hole. Did I already swear? I'm trying not to swear within the first. Whatever minutes.

[Ryland]

I don't think it matters anymore. I accidentally left an F word in the teaser the other week, and no demonetization.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Ryland]

So I think YouTube really did pull back their restrictions, but still don't say the C word. I wouldn't risk it. Okay, that's not something I'm trying to risk yet.

[Lizzie]

So this guy was a real asshole, and he was being an asshole all night, and I decided that I was gonna get crazy, and I took our chaser downstairs and poured out the coke in it and filled it up with soy sauce,

[Ryland]

and then I came. You are vindictive.

[Lizzie]

Yes, I am. And so then when I went up, I came back to the.

[Ryland]

Do you do that kind of shit to your husband?

[Lizzie]

The only time I've ever done something like that to Joe is when he was in the bathtub and thought he was alone. And I waited after he thought I left, and I scared him.

[Ryland]

And that was more of a prank than being like, well, this is a prank too.

[Lizzie]

This was a prank too. He was just an accident. He was an who deserved a prank. You know what I mean? And so then I was like, let's take a shot. And so, like, I threw back a shot, and I picked up the coke can, and I pretend to chase with it, and then I put it down, and then he took it and took a big.

[Ryland]

It's like how you roofie someone successfully.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

It's a similar method.

[Ryland]

You're doing it.

[Lizzie]

It's a similar method.

[Ryland]

They'll do it.

[Lizzie]

It's like, this is safe. You lead a person into thinking they're safe.

[Ryland]

When my kid won't eat their food, I'm like, daddy eats it. You should eat it.

[Lizzie]

Yep, I got that. Good. He tried to kill me after that. Which honestly, I get. We were very drunk.

[Ryland]

Well, that felt like a good title.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, he tried to kill me after that. Oh, my God. That's the title of my autobiography. And then he tried to kill me.

[Ryland]

And what was this person you're talking about? Every chapter is a new person you've pissed off

[Lizzie]

that I'm just innocently pranked that I just had a little fun with.

[Ryland]

You are special. So how did he.

[Lizzie]

How do I have so many friends now? We need.

[Ryland]

It's crazy. It's crazy, you guys. I think because you're good at. You're good at maintaining contact and pranks and following up.

[Lizzie]

They love the pranks.

[Ryland]

Like, I think that's a specialty of yours is being able to manage a lot of incoming inquiries. Yeah, I like have you. And I can barely manage that.

[Lizzie]

I've decided to pull back on that though. Now only VIPs get my concern and consideration.

[Ryland]

Okay. And how many people are on that list?

[Lizzie]

It's got to get shorter.

[Ryland]

Oh, wow. We're cutting.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

I would say that there are like. And honestly, there's. There's like an open slot that. That's like a revolving.

[Ryland]

Oh, there's always room for somebody new.

[Lizzie]

No. Oh, it's just a revolving slot for those in need. It's like a charitable position.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Because not everybody needs an up to date 100 of the time. But I would say there's about four people that get that 100 of the time spot. And then there's that fifth spot where it's like if for those in need.

[Ryland]

Okay, I got it.

[Lizzie]

A philanthropic spot.

[Ryland]

So how did he try to kill you?

[Lizzie]

Oh, he just came at me. It was like a. Oh.

[Ryland]

The second the soy hit the mouth

[Lizzie]

and the laughter hit. And then he knew that he had been conned into a false sense of security and pranks. Real good.

[Ryland]

How did we get here?

[Lizzie]

Soy.

[Ryland]

Oh, you can't have.

[Lizzie]

So I had a bunch of soy

[Ryland]

sauce because I. Chugging it.

[Lizzie]

Chugging it. And in a pranking way. No, I was eating. It doesn't matter.

[Ryland]

Tell us. You might as well.

[Lizzie]

I was eating artichokes and I make this.

[Ryland]

How are you doing that?

[Lizzie]

Better than you. Do you remember how this guy eats an artichoke? It's the craziest thing I've ever.

[Ryland]

And when.

[Lizzie]

It's like watching a cat walk in socks.

[Ryland]

When that is perfect.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Wow. You are my best friend.

[Lizzie]

That is how I was the weirdest thing I'VE ever seen. And you were so happy.

[Ryland]

So we went to, like, you know, Restoration Hardware, like, bougie furniture store. Well, they have, like, dining experiences at some of their showrooms.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

So when we were in Montecito recently, we went to check it out because I had never been to one. They had fried artichokes.

[Lizzie]

Oh, I love those.

[Ryland]

But they fried the part that you can't eat either, so you can just

[Lizzie]

go to town on that.

[Ryland]

And I asked Chatgpt in the moment. I was like. Because I. Shane was like, it's like we're eating dead moths because they were fried, like, to obliterate. And they were just, like, flailing. But there were parts that really didn't taste like they should be being consumed. And then it flashbacked to me and you and Chris sitting at that fish grill and me being a cat walking in socks, trying to figure out how to eat artichokes. And I love the taste of artichokes, but I just can't figure them out.

[Lizzie]

I'd love to help you. I would love to help you, but

[Ryland]

I've been with you. You've been in my presence, trying to get you.

[Lizzie]

We showed you. Like, it was really weird. It was a really weird. Like, if Ellen Keller can learn to read and talk, you should be able to do an artichoke.

[Ryland]

You know, I would hope so. Yet here I am. Okay, so you were eating those fried artichokes.

[Lizzie]

No, they weren't fried. They were steamed. But I make this sauce that I call. Well, this might be problematic.

[Ryland]

Okay, then don't.

[Lizzie]

I'm going to just say it.

[Ryland]

Censor yourself.

[Lizzie]

I call it prison sauce.

[Ryland]

Why is that problematic? Because they have to be resourceful in prison to make something delicious. Right.

[Lizzie]

That's how I feel about it.

[Ryland]

So I would like to know what's problematic about that.

[Lizzie]

I don't know, like. And if it feels like I'm appropriating prison culture as a woman who's, like, only been to juvie and like a whole.

[Ryland]

They've done something bad if they're in prison. Right. Well, not everyone.

[Lizzie]

Does that mean that they still.

[Ryland]

Prison reform.

[Lizzie]

Cultural appropriation. I don't know. I'm joking. I'm talking about prison.

[Ryland]

I was thinking Kim Kardashian say about her prison reform and her prison sauce. Like, how would she react?

[Lizzie]

She probably liked my prison sauce.

[Ryland]

Okay, well, what's inside? Soy sauce. Obviously.

[Lizzie]

Soy sauce is in it. Mayonnaise is in it. Tapatio is in it. Sometimes a little drizzle of wiestershire sauce.

[Ryland]

Okay. Interesting.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

You've done a plot twist with the Worcestershire sauce.

[Lizzie]

And then when I cook the artichoke, I steam it with a butler.

[Ryland]

You just in your kitchen making food for your whole family all the time?

[Lizzie]

No.

[Ryland]

Oh, okay.

[Lizzie]

I. I buy a Costco pack of artichokes, and then I steam all of them at once, and then I eat them cold throughout the week.

[Ryland]

I saw this post on Instagram that was saying what you can get for $100 at Walmart, Costco is officially cheaper. Yeah. $79.

[Lizzie]

And you can get so much for

[Ryland]

what you can get at Walmart. And I do hate on Walmart a lot. I don't know why Walmart's my algorithm this week, but it has been. And a lot of people are saying no. I've lived in California before, too, and the Walmar are oddly horrific there.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

California, Walmart country. They're. They actually, like, hit. Right?

[Lizzie]

I went to a Walmart in Oklahoma. Stunning. I. The Walmart in Burbank is like one of the layers of hell. And I have never been so irritated in my entire life. When you get in there, they have crazy music playing. It's like for the Navy seals. They do this training exercise to see how much torture you can withstand. And one of them is being in a horribly lit room for, like, five days with bad music playing. That. Is that for real right now? Yeah. Swear to God. That is Walmart. Horrible white lighting. Kind of like this.

[Ryland]

This is aggressive right now. And Chris Waltz is dead.

[Lizzie]

Organ plane. Like organs. Like organs playing tunes that you recognize, kind of. But it's hard to place because it's an organ. And then you get in there, and it's just busy as hell. It's like. It's like the busiest place I've ever been in my life where nobody is actually buying anything and everything is broken and whatever you're looking for, it's not here. But they've got something kind of like it. Disgusting.

[Ryland]

Walmart.

[Lizzie]

Walmart. So I had a bunch of soy sauce and noticed that my baby was spitting up profusely. So I was like, maybe he has, like, a soy allergy instead of a dairy allergy. But I guess soy and dairy have. Are a similar type of protein breakdown. Oh. Oh. Did you get it?

[Ryland]

We're in the wilderness.

[Lizzie]

Did you get it?

[Ryland]

Which is why I was dying.

[Lizzie]

Did you get it?

[Ryland]

I would like to see.

[Lizzie]

Is the threat still looming large?

[Ryland]

It's still looming. Are you guys enjoying this vibe?

[Lizzie]

It's making me itchy.

[Ryland]

I've Been itchy.

[Lizzie]

The vibe is itchy out here.

[Ryland]

We're in the middle of the mountains where everything's blowing and blooming.

[Lizzie]

What are we doing here exactly?

[Ryland]

Well, I did take Shane house hunting on the east side because I was like, maybe that will say east side. Don't talk to me about it right now.

[Lizzie]

I will not go to the east side.

[Ryland]

Spencer predicted that. I love that he predicted that exact reaction. He literally said, lizzie is going to. And I was like, no, she's fine. She just hates the west side.

[Lizzie]

No, I hate anything that's not the Valley. If you're like. If you're like, I'm coming.

[Ryland]

It's valley adjacent. It's 10 minutes from the zoo.

[Lizzie]

I don't.

[Ryland]

That's not where you.

[Lizzie]

Girl, that's not Valley adjacent.

[Ryland]

I mean, it's within the.

[Lizzie]

It's. No.

[Ryland]

Okay, whatever. We'll talk about this.

[Lizzie]

It's like, an hour the fuck away. You want to go somewhere with even less parking and skinnier streets?

[Ryland]

It's 30. It's the exact same distance from you to here.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, but it's awful over there. It's awful over there. That's a. That's a town for someone who's like, I love New York City.

[Ryland]

Well, you don't know what neighborhood I'm talking about.

[Lizzie]

What neighborhood are you talking about?

[Ryland]

What neighborhood are you talking about?

[Lizzie]

All of the east side. All of it.

[Ryland]

Because, like, yes. I then went to dinner in Echo park and that.

[Lizzie]

No, why were you over there?

[Ryland]

Because I took Shane to a house.

[Lizzie]

You literally went to the east side.

[Ryland]

I feel like.

[Lizzie]

I mean, do whatever you want to do, but, like, no, you couldn't handle that.

[Ryland]

No, no, no. Silver Lake, Echo Park. Those aren't for me.

[Lizzie]

No. So where were you?

[Ryland]

It's in the middle of Glendale and Pasadena, which is called Eagle Rock.

[Lizzie]

Eagle Rock.

[Ryland]

Yes.

[Lizzie]

Okay. I've heard of it.

[Ryland]

I won't be moving there.

[Lizzie]

Thank God. So why are you even doing this to me right now? On air in front of everyone, making me look like an asshole?

[Ryland]

Because I'm just saying, like, yes, there's a. There's an immediate threat of fires, and my allergies are killing me.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, there's an immediate threat of fires over there, too. That's where the other fires were.

[Ryland]

That's a little higher. No, this is like, me being where you are in juxt. Whatever this is. The geography of Los Angeles is only interesting to, like, a very few.

[Lizzie]

Just come back to Sherman Oaks, girl.

[Ryland]

No, I hate it there.

[Lizzie]

What are you gonna do on the east side.

[Ryland]

I'm not. Is the point.

[Lizzie]

Okay, good. Now that. That's settled.

[Ryland]

But it was a beautiful home.

[Lizzie]

Okay, I'd love to see it.

[Ryland]

I'll show it to you.

[Lizzie]

Was it, like, on a busy street?

[Ryland]

No, it's. That is something I liked about it. It's. It was very private, but it's in a community. Like, you can. It's walkable. I could walk to some restaurants with my kids. I could have Halloween. People would see my Christmas decorations. Like, I love that we're secluded out here, and that provides so many wonderful things for us. But I would also sometimes see.

[Lizzie]

I don't know if you'd like to be accessible.

[Ryland]

Yes. Without being too accessible, if that makes sense.

[Lizzie]

Well, send me the listing. If it's cool, it's cool.

[Ryland]

I mean, it's definitely cool.

[Lizzie]

But is it, like, cool? Because that's what the east side thinks it is. And I hate that vibe. Do you know what I mean?

[Ryland]

I know what you mean.

[Lizzie]

It's like, no, we're cool. It's like we go to thrift stores and we pay top notch for things that have been used and they smell.

[Ryland]

That's more like Silver Lake and Echo park, where you cannot find parking.

[Lizzie]

It's not. Not Eagle Rock. Eagle Rock is full of, like. That's, like, where Beige mom originated and then spread, like, forgive the term wildfire. And then got. Then. Then, you know, Eagle Rock moms got appropriated, and now they're across America. Target moms. And that's kind of the vibe of Eagle Rock, you know what I mean? Like, you're not that cool if Target's going to appropriate you.

[Ryland]

And they are a little cooler than me. And I have to say, like, I am.

[Lizzie]

They're not, though. Have a conversation with them. Just because they're wearing shoes they made themselves out of leather that they fucking tanned in their own backyards does not make them cooler than you.

[Ryland]

Okay, I will.

[Lizzie]

Because they hated doing it. At my heart, they're not happy. They did that for you to be like, oh, cool shoes. Where did you get them? So they could be like, oh, we're actually urban farmers, and I've got a bunch of rabbits in my backyard, and we live off of rabbit meat. It's kind of gnarly. But me and my children murder rabbits every Sunday so that we can have them for Sunday meals. And that's how we learn to just live off the land while living in an urban space.

[Ryland]

I hear what you're saying.

[Lizzie]

I hate them.

[Ryland]

I hear what you're saying.

[Lizzie]

And guess what their kids are named.

[Ryland]

True to me.

[Lizzie]

No, just guess. It's river and ocean.

[Ryland]

No, no, no.

[Lizzie]

It's river and ocean.

[Ryland]

That's almost more Malibu.

[Lizzie]

No, it's. It's a problematic, like, universal asshole situation.

[Ryland]

I feel like east side. It's. We're more like. Like, they're probably going. Is like, on the nose is Silver.

[Lizzie]

No, they're all Everett's and Owens.

[Ryland]

No.

[Lizzie]

Oh, it's girls named Bowie. It's girls named Bowie. And it's. You know why? Because they freaking love David Bowie. And it's like, okay, dude.

[Ryland]

Okay, okay.

[Lizzie]

I named my kid after my dog, so I'm an asshole, too. But that's why I can call it like I see it, because I am it.

[Ryland]

You're lucky. I can't. I have to have a calm body. Like my nanny says to my children, calm body, calm body.

[Lizzie]

Maybe I should have a calm body.

[Ryland]

I have to have a calm body today because I lost my voice after the sip last week. For the entire week. Because I screamed so loud after having this harshness.

[Lizzie]

You didn't fully lose it. We talked on the phone. I could hear you.

[Ryland]

No, that next morning you were.

[Lizzie]

Okay. Oh, after we chatted.

[Ryland]

No, that's when it was starting to come back. That was a day and a half later.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Ryland]

No, I hear you. And we. I, like, I did vlog this. And, like, we're not. We don't want to move, but if we were to move, there are a few things that I would like if I'm being crazy. Like a laundry room, a third car garage.

[Lizzie]

Well, your hobby is also real estate. Checking outage.

[Ryland]

Yes. So I finally. This house was just something that, like, peaked both Shane and I's interest. So we were like, let's go flirt with the idea.

[Lizzie]

I'll go wherever you are.

[Ryland]

Thank you.

[Lizzie]

Which is annoying if it's the aside.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

I love coming here.

[Ryland]

And today's podcast is sponsored by SeatGeek, the number one rated ticketing app. They have over 35 million downloads, and that's because there's over 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek. It's incredible. You can get tickets for comedy, sporting events, music festivals, literally anything you want a ticket for. SeatGeek has got you covered. And this spring and summer, oh, my gosh. Everyone you want to see is on tour. Ariana Grande has tour dates coming up. Olivia Dean, Hillary Duff. Oh, my gosh, the list goes on and on and on. So make sure you open your phone, download the Sea G app right now, and check it Out. They are offering you guys 10% off your next set of tickets when you use our code the SIP10. That's code the SIP10 for 10% off your next set of tickets. At SeatGeek, they rate every ticket on a scale of 1 to 10. Look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad, and every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. You can also click the link in our description section below to download the app and have the code automatically applied to your account. So it's just there waiting for you to use it whenever you're ready to buy tickets. Next. Seatgeek, we love you so much and thank you for sponsoring our show for they're probably our longest running sponsor at this point.

[Lizzie]

Thank you so much, seatgeek.

[Ryland]

Thank you so much.

[Lizzie]

And we do be using you out in these streets.

[Ryland]

We really genuinely do. Yeah. Be using you out in these streets. Yeah. Okay, back to the show. So you want to talk about how my life in the fun lane continues?

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God. You're in the fun lane.

[Ryland]

My life couldn't be more fun.

[Lizzie]

Ooh.

[Chris]

Ah.

[Lizzie]

You see over there, my life be like.

[Ryland]

So first, if you remember, I had the earth infection.

[Lizzie]

Infection, yeah.

[Ryland]

That healed. Then I was dying by whatever was blooming in the Santa Ana winds.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Dying, yeah.

[Lizzie]

Super similar to, you know, my family having neurovirus.

[Ryland]

She keeps saying that. And it's like this is two. Literally two weeks at this point, and not one person in my house, not my nanny, not my husband, not my children have gotten it. I know that it's not something that is spreadable, but it is an adversity

[Lizzie]

that you must overcome.

[Ryland]

And I'm still over I. Right now I'm in pain management. I would say I have one of those, like, I got one of those, like, humidifiers that you put directly to your mouth. And I'm doing that every morning. A little vapor thing, saline rinses. I'm doing, like, a prescribed pill that has stopped the post nasal drip. I'm on Allegra. Like, you know, it's an extra 30 minutes. Morning.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God.

[Ryland]

To feel like I'm not dying.

[Lizzie]

That's crazy.

[Ryland]

I know. So I got this under control. No more post nasal drip. I'm dipping and doing it. My voice is starting to come back, and out pops a rash all over my legs. No, I know they're covered right now. Just because I knew you were gonna be wild.

[Lizzie]

Let me see.

[Ryland]

And so it's.

[Lizzie]

No, you gotta let me see.

[Ryland]

Itchy. It's Bernie.

[Lizzie]

Is it oak? Is it poison oak? I think so what the fuck am I doing here?

[Ryland]

I think it's a myth that it spreads.

[Lizzie]

That is not true.

[Ryland]

It doesn't spread unless the oil is on you currently. Like, after you have.

[Lizzie]

I was sitting on a chair you sat on this morning.

[Ryland]

No, here's the thing, girl.

[Lizzie]

If I get poison oak, death to you.

[Ryland]

Listen to.

[Lizzie]

Literally death to you.

[Ryland]

Okay, well, it could be that or something called Chig bugs, I guess. It's like, things that exist on plants that will, like, bite. They don't burrow in your skin, but they bite and leave patches. And by the time the patches show up, they're already.

[Lizzie]

I feel overly exposed sitting beside a person who could have chick bugs or fucking poison oak. Are you joking?

[Ryland]

I know, I know, I know.

[Lizzie]

Can you imagine, Chris, if one of us showed up with Chicago poison oak? What this bitch would be like to us? Can you imagine how insufferable and awful he would be?

[Ryland]

I'm covered. Look it. I have long socks, pants, covering. I'm not getting. I just showered before you guys showed up.

[Lizzie]

I'm so fudgeing itchy sitting next to your sick ass. I can't even stand it. And my throat is starting to feel like it's closing up. So now, like, I caught the post nasal drip.

[Ryland]

This is teetering the line of, like, when you tell me your son's sick and I don't ask if he's okay before, I'm like, don't come anywhere near.

[Lizzie]

Well, that's why I'm like this right now.

[Ryland]

So maybe you should be like, you okay?

[Lizzie]

No, dude, you get what you sow.

[Ryland]

This is.

[Lizzie]

This is the golden rule. You treat others how other people want, how you want to be treated.

[Ryland]

And this is how it literally, the last, like, three. No, you had, like, seven illnesses in a row. And I was chill and was like, how are your children?

[Lizzie]

Liar.

[Ryland]

Are you kidding me?

[Lizzie]

It was performative at best. If you did say it, you only said it so you could say this now. And for that reason, it counts not.

[Ryland]

You think I'm that calculated?

[Lizzie]

Period.

[Ryland]

Period.

[Lizzie]

And good for you.

[Ryland]

Good for me.

[Lizzie]

That's how you get to the top.

[Ryland]

Well, you got to fake it until you make it.

[Lizzie]

You want to be on top.

[Ryland]

I do. So. I don't know. It's really just.

[Lizzie]

Can I see it?

[Ryland]

So what's happened is.

[Lizzie]

I'm so itchy. Rylan, Can I please see it? Do you have pictures of it at least?

[Ryland]

I guess I should move to the east side because my dog walks in the mountains. As you know, I'm now afraid of mountain lions. There were bears amok. Fires are raging. And so when cars come on the street, I. I'm wearing this like, robber mask over my face because I don't want to die when I walk the dogs. Like, I want to still walk the dogs.

[Lizzie]

That picture you sent me triggered me so bad. I had a nightmare about, you know,

[Ryland]

I'm scaring the neighbors.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I'm sure you are. You look like a fucking robber.

[Ryland]

I know. I've ordered these.

[Lizzie]

You look like a robber. Or like a very famous lesbian.

[Ryland]

I've. I've ordered these, like, turtleneck sleeves that, like, go up over my mouth and my nose for when I walk the dogs because I don't want to die. And like, when the neighbors walk by, I like, try to hide because they're just like.

[Lizzie]

So then he acts shady while looking shady.

[Ryland]

And I thought maybe I was like, projecting that it was weird. But then know this morning some lady, like, rolls down her windows and she's like, are you doing it? Because it's like a hard skunk smell. Like, what's going on? I'm like, no, my allergy is. I don't want to talk about it.

[Lizzie]

I'm overcoming adversity.

[Ryland]

I'm not gonna rob you.

[Lizzie]

I'm just overcoming a gay man with post nasal drip. Do you know how hard that is?

[Ryland]

And now, because I'm standing in the weeds trying to let you drive by, I have chick bugs biting at me or poison oak and. Oh, I was gonna.

[Lizzie]

I hate that we came here today. Chris.

[Ryland]

Are spreadable. I asked extensively.

[Lizzie]

Who did you ask?

[Ryland]

My friend at the Internet chat.

[Lizzie]

GBT also told us we could around and find out with norovirus two days after.

[Ryland]

So I don't know. I think I might need to go to a dermatologist later today because they're like, blistery itchy.

[Lizzie]

Can I please see?

[Ryland]

Well, I can't.

[Lizzie]

Do you not have any pictures?

[Ryland]

Yeah, no, I do. Here you go. I'll pull it up.

[Lizzie]

Thank you. Night. You.

[Ryland]

No, I definitely do.

[Lizzie]

No, here they are.

[Ryland]

Here's. Here they are.

[Lizzie]

Oh, that's nothing.

[Ryland]

But there are little patches like that all over.

[Lizzie]

That looks like one patch in one place.

[Ryland]

Well, that's one picture of one patch in one.

[Lizzie]

Well, show me another one.

[Ryland]

Well, I didn't.

[Lizzie]

I want to see them all.

[Ryland]

Okay. And they're very itchy.

[Lizzie]

I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry about that.

[Ryland]

Are you? You don't seem sorry at all. And I was just like, I Don't feel like I was vibrating low. Like, I don't know why this would

[Lizzie]

happen to you, but I guess this

[Ryland]

is the third good person who by, like, they say they have things happen in three, right? This is the end.

[Lizzie]

What was the first two?

[Ryland]

My ear, my sinuses, my rash. Okay, that's one, two, three. Count them all.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I used to think that too. And then my kids started going to daycare, and now I'm like, there's no rules. It's just like, death to parents at all times, so good luck.

[Ryland]

Speaking of.

[Lizzie]

Oh, I didn't want to talk about that on air.

[Ryland]

Oh, you don't.

[Lizzie]

It's. I don't know why. It's just fine. Joe got weird about me telling the other parents, so now I'm like, I don't know.

[Ryland]

Because it's, like, such a flex.

[Lizzie]

I don't think it is.

[Ryland]

Why did he get weird about that?

[Lizzie]

I don't know.

[Ryland]

Did that guy that Joe, like, hit on, you know what I'm talking. They were, like, at a party, and I guess Joe was like, hey, you want to hang out? Our family? Your family?

[Lizzie]

Weird. No, they did hit us up, up this weekend.

[Ryland]

They did?

[Lizzie]

Yeah. They said, you want to hang out again?

[Ryland]

And, well, we couldn't. They live on the east side.

[Lizzie]

They want to do a around in Glendale. And one thing about me is I'm not trying to around in Glendale. You know what I'm saying?

[Ryland]

What about Pasadena?

[Lizzie]

I will around in Pasadena. I actually was watching rumor has it I've been on some weird kick lately where just, like, by the grace of God, I'm being led to Mark Ruffalo romcoms from the early Audis. 20 years old. Like, what the. And I'm gonna say something controversial right now, okay? I don't with that Mark Ruffalo.

[Ryland]

Why?

[Lizzie]

I think he's a little problematic, okay? Like, I like, post Avengers, I'm like, I don't know you do. You know what I'm saying?

[Ryland]

I don't know any of his work, so.

[Lizzie]

Well, I watched two of his early rom coms, and I was shocked that he was in both of them because I put them on for, like, various reasons. Like, one of which was like, a Jennifer Aniston movie called Rumor has it, and it's set in Pasadena, and it's so stunning.

[Ryland]

I watched that. Then I'm putting that on my to do list. Jennifer Aniston movie in Pasadena.

[Lizzie]

Sign me up, gorgeous. You know, why don't we live in Pasadena?

[Ryland]

Well, that's. That's Where Eagle Rock is is four minutes. Like, my air one would be Pasadena.

[Lizzie]

I am down as to live in Pasadena.

[Ryland]

Okay. And they just opened Javier's in Pasadena.

[Lizzie]

Okay.

[Ryland]

Lots of nice restaurants, literally. So, like, it's probably the same distance

[Lizzie]

to my kids school too, because that's Burbank.

[Ryland]

After we went to this house, I was like, well, where would my air wand be? And so then I drove past the air.

[Lizzie]

That you wonder where your Air1 would be and not where I would be is devastating.

[Ryland]

No, no, no. I told. I declared in the car to everyone present. I said, it's the same distance for Lizzie to see me. Exactly the same distance.

[Lizzie]

I honestly know I was watching this movie. Rumor has it.

[Ryland]

Oh, that's what I was gonna put in my notes, and I was gonna watch that tonight.

[Lizzie]

I like. I. It's the first movie I finished since having a baby.

[Ryland]

Really?

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

I love Jennifer Aniston so much. Rumor has it too. It's on my to do list.

[Lizzie]

And then, like, Mark Ruffalo shows up. And then I put on just like heaven and like, and I thought Kate Hudson. No, it's Reese Witherspoon with a horrible haircut.

[Ryland]

And she's dead. She's an angel. I have seen that. So I am familiar with Mark Ruffalo.

[Lizzie]

And what were we thinking with all the layers in the early Audi's, like, you don't need that many layers.

[Ryland]

But she's good though, huh?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, but it's giving like toddler with scissors. Like, what was that hair? Do you know what I mean?

[Ryland]

And we all wanted to check out what you're talking.

[Lizzie]

And so. And then she's. She's dipping and doing the thing, as Rylan would say. And then here comes Mark Ruffalo. I'm like, was he the leading man of this era? And you know who's surprisingly a small role in a lot of these films?

[Ryland]

Who?

[Lizzie]

Chris Pratt.

[Ryland]

Love it.

[Lizzie]

Chris Pratt's in neither of these movies. But I will randomly put on a movie that's like Hathaway, you're high.

[Ryland]

I love it. It's so 90s.

[Lizzie]

Show me.

[Ryland]

Oh, well, now it's never. Oh, my gosh.

[Lizzie]

No, it's bad. It's like mullet bad. See, it's okay here because you can't see the longest. Yeah, but you can't see the longest strands. The longest strands go to here.

[Ryland]

Here. I'll screenshot this so we can put it in at 29.09.

[Lizzie]

So that's not a great example of it. Like, you got to go to the actual movie to see, like, the badness of it.

[Ryland]

Okay, got it. I know what you're saying.

[Lizzie]

And it's hair that demands to be styled like it's high maintenance hair. What a time to be alive is super cool. Nuts. Why did I bring all this up?

[Ryland]

Oh, Pasadena.

[Lizzie]

It's gorgeous.

[Ryland]

Oh. So I did. Yeah. I checked out Pasadena. Went to the erewhon. Noticed there's a Javier's. There is a slight problem that Javier's won't do the off menu nachos or chimichanga. Chimichanga. And so, like, I'm gonna have to have a discussion with management.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

If I move over there.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

But I did think, like, it would be nice if somebody could appreciate all the exterior work I do for Christmas or if I can have kids come

[Lizzie]

and trick or treat. This still has those Christmas decorations up. I rolled up today, and Frankenstein is still out there dressed like hungover Santa

[Ryland]

looking like, I don't have an assistant anymore.

[Lizzie]

Need to throw away that Santa costume because it is sun bleach and sad and it's giving like homeless Frankenstein on the beach out of Christmas season. Looking for a job.

[Ryland]

I was a maniac yesterday and that's the only thing I didn't get to.

[Lizzie]

Sure.

[Ryland]

But it's on my to do list. I don't have an assistant anymore, so I'm raw talking life.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God.

[Ryland]

No speak of adversities as a gay man.

[Lizzie]

No, don't raw dog life. You need a lesbian up in here

[Ryland]

running fast with of two with full time employment.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God.

[Ryland]

No assistant.

[Lizzie]

No assistant.

[Ryland]

This is getting unrelatable.

[Lizzie]

It's too much for one man.

[Ryland]

It's too much.

[Lizzie]

It's too much.

[Ryland]

Okay, so. Yes. Pasatina. Why were we talking about past? No, it's cute, huh?

[Lizzie]

It's really cute.

[Ryland]

So am I moving there?

[Lizzie]

You could.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

But honestly, this is the only time I'm ever gonna ask this.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Could you buy me a house there too? See that I never asked. I've literally never asked you for a house in all of our time together. I've literally never been like, buy me a house. Like, this is the first time I've ever asked.

[Ryland]

I fantasize about, like, I like this because it's, like, private enough, but you. A main street is walkable. Like, I know. I know the boys to like cafes.

[Lizzie]

And my dick is so hard for Pasadena after watching Rumor has it, like, the whole entry, like, the whole introduction to it is like a montage of Pasadena stuff.

[Ryland]

The craziest Part is if I. If I was on board enough, Shane would do it.

[Chris]

It.

[Ryland]

He's into it.

[Lizzie]

Loki. I'm into it.

[Ryland]

After your 18 minute rant about hating the east side.

[Lizzie]

Oh, I don't identify Pasadena as the east side.

[Ryland]

Oh, well, that's pretty much where this is.

[Lizzie]

If it's in Pasadena, I'm fine.

[Ryland]

I mean, it's technically not Pasadena, but it's seven minutes from down downtown Pasadena.

[Lizzie]

Oh, show me the listing.

[Ryland]

Okay. Okay.

[Lizzie]

Cuz I'm coming. I'm coming around to it.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Especially if we're also talking about getting me a house over there.

[Ryland]

And we could just like. And the vibe was like young couples with like. We were walking the streets.

[Lizzie]

It was like, watch rumor has it and you'll get. Because like my dick is so hard for it right now. Watch rumor has it.

[Ryland]

It's so cute like here.

[Lizzie]

It's like. It's like quintessential old California neighborhood vibes. It like reminds me of like my parents house in Menlo. Atherton.

[Ryland]

Well, that's what. It's very different. Calabasas is like bougie suburbs. Yeah. And that is very much me.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. But it's also like. It's like. It's stucco and it's the 80s and it's like Pasadena is like not. Pasadena's like real houses.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Pasadena is like old houses. Like wedding in the backyard houses.

[Ryland]

It's like magical. La.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

And that. Yes. So it is a different. It's a very different lifestyle, a different vibe. It would change the day to day of my entire world. Because it. Even though it's only 50 minutes away, everywhere I go would be different, you know? Yeah. It would be a complete life change.

[Lizzie]

But it's very sweet.

[Ryland]

Okay. Okay.

[Lizzie]

I'm into it.

[Ryland]

Okay. That's crazy.

[Lizzie]

Why?

[Ryland]

We just watch 10 watch the last

[Lizzie]

15 minutes of this. At that time you were talking about like Eagle Rock and like the east side.

[Ryland]

It is. The address is in Eagle Rock.

[Lizzie]

And then. I hate it.

[Ryland]

Okay. So your family had the cutest weekend. Exhausting. Billy.

[Lizzie]

So cute.

[Ryland]

That's it. That's. You put that on the document.

[Lizzie]

So cute.

[Ryland]

Just to say. Yeah. So cute.

[Lizzie]

So cute.

[Ryland]

So cute. Got it.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Ryland]

Done.

[Lizzie]

Billy's having like. Billy's having a language and that's the sip. My eye is so freaking itchy.

[Chris]

Why?

[Lizzie]

Probably pink eye. Are you kidding?

[Ryland]

And you're that close to me. Pink eye.

[Lizzie]

Now you know what it feels like.

[Ryland]

At least I'm showing up with a rash that isn't spreadable. My ringworm Is spreadable, so stay away.

[Lizzie]

Oh, is it back?

[Ryland]

It's. Shut up.

[Lizzie]

It's back. Oh, my God.

[Ryland]

No, it's back.

[Lizzie]

He's got ringworm.

[Ryland]

Unless you're sniffing my armpits, you're never

[Lizzie]

gonna get in your armpits.

[Ryland]

That's.

[Lizzie]

Chris. We gotta go, dude. Can you imagine if either of us showed up? Like, I've got multiple.

[Ryland]

There were years on this podcast where you had rashes. There were years at a time where you had rashes.

[Lizzie]

That's different. I'm pale. I'm always rashy.

[Ryland]

Well, I just got lightheaded, probably from

[Lizzie]

all your ashes and the ringworm. Your brain's controlled by worms at this point.

[Ryland]

Do we just start eating donuts right now?

[Lizzie]

I don't want to.

[Ryland]

Wouldn't that be crazy to have, like, the food segment in the middle of the couch segment?

[Lizzie]

Should we do it? Should we trick them? I'm down. We could dip and do the damn thing. But I will say, billy's having a language explosion, and it is so freaking cute. And we'll like. I'll be like, oh, here's some potatoes. And he tries to say potatoes. And it's actually one of my. Like, this is the first time that Billy's had a baby word that really me up emotionally.

[Ryland]

What is it?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, and he points like a weirdo. Like, he points like this.

[Ryland]

Baby. You gotta love them.

[Lizzie]

I love him so much, dude.

[Ryland]

Like, toddlers are so fun. I mean, toddlers will make you want to hit your head against the wall, but also, like, melt your heart in the biggest way imaginable.

[Lizzie]

Joe's also does this thing where he counts, really. Like, we do, like, building suspense with him. So we'll go, one, two. So now when he says two, he goes, two. And we were. And then Joe was like, peace. And he was trying to do the peace sign, but he can't figure out what to do with his little fingers. And he wound up doing the west side sign and going, peace.

[Ryland]

I had my first language. Oh, this weekend. I already told you. But I was just like, something happened. And I was like, ah, shit. And Max just started running around the whole house. Ah, shit. Ah, shit. And then this morning, I, like. I, like, dropped some oatmeal. And he goes, ah, shit. And I was like, oh, no. In front of our nanny. And I was like, that was me. That was my bad.

[Lizzie]

You should have gaslit the nanny and blame it on her. Do you say that around him?

[Ryland]

That.

[Lizzie]

Did you say that around him? Where did he hear that? Lizzy? She's a deadbeat aunt. She's not even around enough for them to learn like that from her. That's how I would have said it. I'd love to gaslight someone today. I don't know what that's about.

[Ryland]

Let's do it.

[Lizzie]

Let's do it.

[Ryland]

Let's gaslight someone today.

[Lizzie]

My husband.

[Ryland]

You should. You should prank him.

[Lizzie]

Should that be the after sip episode? Gaslighting my husband?

[Ryland]

I love it.

[Lizzie]

I should prank him. What should I do? Soy sauce shots.

[Ryland]

Oh, you should say, like, oh, Gwyneth Paltrow is raging about the health benefits of soy sauce shots.

[Lizzie]

No, Joe would die before he even let soy in his body. Oh, yeah, he's too alpha for that, I guess. I don't know.

[Ryland]

Okay. Okay, well, I'm. Now we're on to your list of things. I talked for 45 minutes.

[Lizzie]

We went to Color Me Mine.

[Ryland]

The pictures from that were so cute, it melted my heart.

[Lizzie]

I'm so excited to pick up the plates. I up, though, because I made little shrimps on my plate while I was holding Ernie. I should have made the shrimp's bodies out of Ernie's feet.

[Ryland]

Oh, that's hard to do, though.

[Lizzie]

No, it's really not. It's really not that hard. You're better than me up. And I'm never gonna forgive myself.

[Ryland]

I recall going to Color Me Mine with children with you and their hand. And finish footprints were not working out.

[Lizzie]

The footprints work out, did they? Yeah. The handprints are the fool's errand, right? Yeah, you have to be. They have to be sedated so we could just pump them full of melatonin or something.

[Ryland]

Okay, here's my. My conundrum.

[Lizzie]

What's your conundrum?

[Ryland]

We're either going to. Okay, you're off. Dare. We talked about it. Sleeping hard for you For Ernie. I. I have. Have. I have a pitch. We eat the Krispy Kreme and then we do Hot Topics.

[Lizzie]

Okay, let's go.

[Ryland]

Okay, let's go. Oh, but we don't have mic stands. Oh, that might be nice for them, actually.

[Lizzie]

What?

[Ryland]

We set it down while we're chewing.

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Ryland]

And we bring it back for the review.

[Lizzie]

Absolute.

[Ryland]

Okay, I'm gonna put this camera on Chris.

[Lizzie]

Put it on Chris.

[Ryland]

We are about to get into enjoying some Krispy Kreme donuts, but I do want to thank hellofresh for sponsoring today's podcast. Nothing hits quite like home cooking, and HelloFresh makes it easy to do more of that this year with recipes that feel good and taste Delicious. Night after night after night. Lizzie and I both enjoy making hellofresh meals for our family. It's something I can execute. I love knowing I can walk downstairs and have a meal already ready for me that I can feel good about feeding to my family and also execute on creating in the kitchen because I'm not a good chef. What, what did you make recently for your family?

[Lizzie]

Oh, I'm still ordering the same thing because I just love it so much.

[Ryland]

What's that?

[Lizzie]

It's the broccoli cheddar risotto. Oh, it's easy. I make it. It's perfect to have. Billy loves it. I can't have it anymore because of the dairy, but I will keep making it because Billy keeps shoveling it into his mouth.

[Ryland]

And hellofresh is incredible because you can choose from more than 100 recipes every single week including cuisines from around the world and they have bigger portions that will satisfy your entire family. They have over 35 high protein menu items each week including Mediterranean and GLP. One friendly options. You can also eat great with sustainably sourced seafood and 100% antibiotic and hormone free chicken. You can also impress your family or your guests with new grass fed steak ribeyes and they also offer seasonal produce like pears, apple and a asparagus that you can include in your hellofresh box each week.

[Lizzie]

We got one of the steak menu items and it was delicious. It had like a parmesan peppercorn sauce with it and I can't stop thinking about it.

[Ryland]

I've also been getting the steak and I've been on a steak kick lately.

[Lizzie]

Me too.

[Ryland]

Oh, just delicious. And of course hellofresh has come through for all of you guys. Go to HelloFresh.com the Sip10FM to get 10 free meals plus a free Zwilling knife $145 value on your third box. That's HelloFresh.com the Sip 10FM to get 10 free meals and a free Zwilling knife offer only valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan.

[Lizzie]

So while Ryland is over here as he says which I love and can't stop thinking about dipping and doing the thing for our Krispy screams. I would like to point out or tell you rather that my mother in law got us a gift and I did not bring it to set today because I'm a fool.

[Ryland]

You had told me she got me a gift. Now it's about us.

[Lizzie]

It's for the show. My my mother in law Watches the show religiously because she's a real one. Even though I say all the time. Marge, get out of here. Mind your own business.

[Ryland]

Mind your own business, Marge. I saw. I was zooming. Lizzie sends me pictures all the time. You guys were at the park this weekend?

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Ryland]

I wasn't looking at your kids. I was zooming into Joe and Marge.

[Lizzie]

You can put that picture up.

[Ryland]

Is it rude for me to be eating a.

[Lizzie]

Please.

[Ryland]

What's the penis like? Food called Phallic. A phallic thing?

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

No, it's not rude. It's just gay.

[Ryland]

Which I am, period.

[Lizzie]

So she bought us a little table for the car for our eating segments and you were.

[Ryland]

Oh, we're not.

[Lizzie]

We're not in the car today.

[Ryland]

Yeah, but that's incredible.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, it's a good one.

[Ryland]

Fucking Marge. I love you.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, thanks, Marge.

[Ryland]

Oh my God.

[Lizzie]

I was really excited to bring it. I was going to give it to you and I just forgot it.

[Ryland]

That's actually like, like maybe one of the best gifts I've ever received.

[Lizzie]

I thought you were gonna be the most thoughtful.

[Ryland]

Marge. What do you. What can I do for you?

[Lizzie]

I don't know. She's a woman of few needs. She just likes to hang out.

[Ryland]

I'll hang out with her. Yeah, well, why don't you bring her to like watch?

[Lizzie]

Are you joking? I could never perform in front of my mother in law.

[Ryland]

You can't drag your husband in front of her.

[Lizzie]

No, I can't drag my husband in front of her in person. Just the Internet.

[Ryland]

Are you rolling Christopher on that camera?

[Chris]

It.

[Lizzie]

No, there's definitely something in my eye one.

[Ryland]

So Lizzy's going to be com commenting on the aesthetics of these because she's dairy and soy free. And as we know, Krispy Kreme has a lot of soy.

[Lizzie]

For real. Oh, I'm ready. Whoa. Do I need to try these? Are we sure there. Can we Google if there's dairy in these?

[Ryland]

When I saw these, the Oreos. An Oreo collab. I am such an Oreo.

[Lizzie]

They have effing girl Oreo, Blanca and then not Blanca and then something stuffed and then the rigs. Yeah, Google. Google this. I need to know. I need to know.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Oh, no. In all of them.

[Ryland]

How long does it last in your breast milk?

[Lizzie]

I mean, it's gonna take a month for my breast milk to clear out of the dairy. I'm gonna put and scream.

[Chris]

Even the original glazed.

[Lizzie]

I put a jalapeno popper in my mouth yesterday and then I went, oh, do you want me to just hold your mic for you? I'll be your stand. I'll be your stand. Yeah, just don't touch me. You sick.

[Ryland]

Okay. I think I'm most excited about the celebration one. All right. Oh, my God. This looks incredible. We haven't done Krispy Kreme. Or am I lying? Have we done.

[Lizzie]

No, it's been a while. We did the Harry Potter Krispy Kreme

[Ryland]

at the office, Reese, which I have no interest in.

[Lizzie]

No.

[Ryland]

Like, I am an Oreo person through and through. And Krispy Kreme teaming up with Oreo. I don't know what could be better for me.

[Lizzie]

Where is the dairy in it? Can I avoid it?

[Ryland]

All right. Cheers, Chris.

[Lizzie]

Chris is like, don't touch me.

[Ryland]

Oh, what's the vibe? The vibe is soft and delicious.

[Lizzie]

No, really?

[Ryland]

Oh, my God.

[Lizzie]

Is it. It's not the two. Is it the overpowering frosting flavor?

[Ryland]

Oh, there's a little too much frosting, if I'm being honest, but. Oh, my God.

[Lizzie]

For real. It's that good.

[Ryland]

I'm so sorry that we have to do this in front of you.

[Lizzie]

Are you joking?

[Chris]

This feels mean.

[Ryland]

And there's, like, crumbles.

[Lizzie]

Never wanted to eat anything on the show before. This is like when you guys went to Shake Shack when I couldn't come.

[Ryland]

A little Golden Oreo.

[Chris]

It's. It's really, really good. Oh, should I turn my thing on?

[Ryland]

Oh, well, we'll have that, too. Are you there?

[Chris]

It's really.

[Ryland]

Oh, that Golden Oreo on top, Is it good?

[Chris]

I didn't try that yet. Hold on. It's really good. It's a really good donut.

[Lizzie]

Damn.

[Chris]

I'm so sorry, Lizzie.

[Lizzie]

Do you think it's, like, a donut that's, like, comparable to Ringworm? Like, walk it back a little bit just for me. Terrible.

[Ryland]

Honestly, don't waste your money.

[Lizzie]

I won't.

[Ryland]

Just don't.

[Lizzie]

I never would.

[Ryland]

You can't. Wow. So this baddie.

[Lizzie]

I might have to mute. Chris is chewing.

[Chris]

It's just so intense with the microphone

[Lizzie]

that's connected to his mouth.

[Ryland]

I'm moving on, Chris. Oh, okay.

[Lizzie]

He takes another bite.

[Ryland]

There's like. This is like a mud piece. Oreo donut.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God. Is that what it said?

[Ryland]

I don't. I don't know. Are there names for these?

[Chris]

Should I pull out my Krispy Kreme app?

[Ryland]

Of course he has the app. Yes, please.

[Lizzie]

Do you have to have a phone with extra storage just because of your app game?

[Chris]

Probably.

[Ryland]

Oh, this is, like, so hard not to just go in.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I'm sure. I can't imagine how hard you won't feel sick. That's a nice thing, but I'm starving. I'm nursing two babies.

[Ryland]

Well, we can go get food. For real. For the after sip. Okay, honestly, for the after sip, I want to try the Barbie, the birthday Barbie smoothie at Eron so we could get Airwan lunch.

[Lizzie]

Hell, yeah. You know how I feel about E1 lunch right now.

[Ryland]

So good.

[Lizzie]

It's so good.

[Ryland]

So good.

[Lizzie]

But I can't get the Mac and cheese.

[Ryland]

Chris. I'm edging so hard.

[Lizzie]

Chris. He's literally splooged in his pants.

[Ryland]

I can see like, I'm pre coming.

[Lizzie]

Like I'm going to get pregnant off of whatever is coming out of his pants right now.

[Ryland]

Tell us what this is. I'm going to.

[Lizzie]

I'm going to get ringworm and pregnant with triplets right now.

[Ryland]

And if she has triplets, then they're your fault.

[Lizzie]

I'm fucked. You have to financially support the triplets.

[Ryland]

Tell us what it is.

[Lizzie]

Oh, my God. Don't touch me. You just made contact with my arm.

[Chris]

The Chocolate Oreo Dream Donut.

[Lizzie]

Oh, it's a dream.

[Chris]

Get lost in layers of chocolatey goodness with our Chocolate Oreo Dream Donut. Starting with an original glazed donut dipped in chocolate icing and crushed Oreo cookie pieces. Cream and Oreo wafer cookie tops off this indulgent treatment because one layer of chocolate is never enough.

[Lizzie]

It's nice to know it's indulgent because there's something. One thing about me is I'm just not indulgent, you know?

[Ryland]

No.

[Lizzie]

No.

[Ryland]

All right. Oh, here we go, Chris. Cheers. Wow.

[Lizzie]

The crunch.

[Ryland]

The cookie on top. I'll mute for the chewing and then give you your reaction. The cookie on top is very soft in a nice way.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Like it. It adds an element of crunch to the soft donut, but it's not too crunchy.

[Lizzie]

This is also something they do in Navy SEAL training as a torture tactic to see if you can withstand it. But they do it in the entryway of a Walmart.

[Ryland]

Oh, my God. Sorry.

[Lizzie]

Chris took four more bites in between.

[Chris]

This is literally. This might be one of the best donuts I've ever had. I love it so much normally.

[Lizzie]

What's inside it?

[Chris]

Heaven. It's just like so many layers of different chocolate.

[Lizzie]

Show me the inside of it.

[Chris]

That worked really well.

[Ryland]

The. The donut itself.

[Lizzie]

Oh, okay. Okay. I thought it was stuff.

[Ryland]

The next one's stuff. Don't worry.

[Lizzie]

Right? We'll get to that.

[Ryland]

The next one.

[Chris]

I love an Oreo. Just a plain Oreo cookie. I love. And then like the bite of that with the like creamy whatever chocolate in the middle and it's like, oh, it all works so well.

[Ryland]

No, I'm telling you. Or if it's. If there was ever to be. Because donuts are my, like, they're my. Like, cake is my favorite. Yeah. And I don't often do donuts because I. It's like a breakfast thing and I don't like starting my day with that much sugar.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

But donuts are like, are like up there in my top rated desserts.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

And I never have them. Oh, this is incredible.

[Lizzie]

You know what I find pornographic?

[Ryland]

What?

[Lizzie]

Kylie Jenner eating the original Krispy Kreme.

[Ryland]

She does that.

[Lizzie]

She does it all the time. And I'm like, where can I find that? Probably on the Internet.

[Ryland]

Anywhere I think I'm interested in seeing.

[Lizzie]

No, like, I'm pretty sure you can just google Kylie Jenner eating Krispy Kreme.

[Ryland]

I think I'm in the market for that.

[Lizzie]

Like, honestly, bust out a dildo and you are off to the races with that.

[Ryland]

She really is out of this world.

[Lizzie]

She's hot. I wonder if she's hot in person or if it doesn't translate to reality.

[Ryland]

I can't believe I've never seen her. Does she just not leave the house?

[Lizzie]

No.

[Chris]

Have you ever. Sorry, this is totally unrelated, but have you ever had an original glaze right when it was fresh out the oven?

[Ryland]

Oh, yes.

[Chris]

It's life changing.

[Ryland]

It is everything I've ever wanted.

[Lizzie]

It's the story of a girl, you know. So Gina, Oreos and Dr. Pepper are supposedly really good for increasing your milk supply. If you're breastfeeding, then you have to. I know.

[Ryland]

What's this next one like cookies and cream. It looks like a cookies and cream filling.

[Lizzie]

See, they should have done cookies and cream filling, but I feel like it's icing inside and when they do the icing inside, it is too much.

[Ryland]

It makes you sick.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

I've never been much of a food filled donut person, but a cream is not as I like a lemon custard.

[Lizzie]

Oh, you would.

[Chris]

The next one is Oreos cookies and cream filled.

[Ryland]

I knew it.

[Chris]

The Oreo cookies and cream donuts is an Oreo loaded delight. This unglazed donut is filled with delicious cookies and cream filling, dipped in chocolate icing, topped with crunchy Oreo cookie pieces and finished with a drizzle of vanilla flavor. Icing for that classic Oreo look and flavor.

[Ryland]

Yuck.

[Lizzie]

Sounds gross.

[Ryland]

All right, let's go in. Wow.

[Lizzie]

Oh, no.

[Ryland]

Oh, no. It's right.

[Lizzie]

You eating these might also be something you need to put on. Only fans.

[Ryland]

Interesting.

[Lizzie]

I feel like I'm catching your allergies right now.

[Chris]

I have to get more to the middle. I need some of that cream.

[Lizzie]

Go deep, Chris.

[Ryland]

I'm going to tear her apart.

[Lizzie]

Tear her apart.

[Ryland]

So it's a little cleanlier.

[Lizzie]

Ripper and dipper.

[Ryland]

There's a heart. The top is hard. It's like a hardened chocolate.

[Lizzie]

How's that middle part?

[Chris]

I actually like the cream a lot on this.

[Lizzie]

Is it cream or is it icing?

[Chris]

It's. It looks like it's more a cream.

[Ryland]

Let's see.

[Lizzie]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryland]

I guess I don't know the difference between cream and icing.

[Lizzie]

Cream's like pudding. Ish.

[Chris]

This is a really good collab. I'm so sorry, Lizzy. I want. It's bad.

[Lizzie]

It's bad.

[Chris]

It's really. It's the worst they've ever done.

[Lizzie]

Watch. I do this for a month and my kid has no dairy allergy. He. He doesn't have an allergy, but it seems like he's a little soft.

[Ryland]

The cream or the icing would make me sick if I ate that whole one.

[Lizzie]

Thank you.

[Ryland]

It is too sweet for me.

[Lizzie]

Thank you for admitting that.

[Ryland]

And I would say that is the one. I do think it tastes good, but it was like, it would make me

[Lizzie]

ill. Chris, are you gonna end up at Kaiser after this?

[Ryland]

I do want to just try, like a bite of the classic. Like there.

[Chris]

I was just there two days ago.

[Ryland]

Nothing was a whole. Thank you.

[Lizzie]

Sorry.

[Ryland]

It was a whole thing. What were you doing?

[Chris]

So you know how, like, I have pancreatitis and Bird and I really shouldn't drink alcohol. I drink alcohol.

[Lizzie]

Oh. How much alcohol did you drink?

[Chris]

Too much.

[Lizzie]

Like, how much is too much?

[Chris]

Like several shots.

[Lizzie]

Just several.

[Ryland]

I'm sorry to take away from that. This donut got a classic crispy. Is that girl.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Okay. Pancreatitis. I didn't know about this one. This is a new element I've had.

[Chris]

She's been there.

[Ryland]

I've never heard you talk about it.

[Lizzie]

You know, is pancreatitart is a constant state of being or is it just like a flare up? You have pancreatitis like the flu?

[Chris]

That I don't. And I think it's constant. But that I don't know.

[Lizzie]

I don't know that it's constant because I Think that's that you can get rid of it, Right? Because if dogs get pancreatitis, and then they get rid of it. Here, take this.

[Ryland]

I have to be insensitive. And take this away from Chris's health element.

[Lizzie]

How about that? I'm immediately fighting with him about whether or not pancreatitis is a lasting condition. Your adversity he's dealing with post nasal drip. You don't know trauma, Chris.

[Ryland]

You know nothing. You know nothing.

[Lizzie]

Oh, you've been septic.

[Ryland]

Oh, sure, Chris. Oh, like, sure, sure. Try having a mystery rash on your legs.

[Lizzie]

And I'm gonna. I'm gonna let you talk. I'm gonna give you. But give me a minute. Krispy Kreme is that girl the og You're Kanye west to Taylor Swift when it comes to Chris and his illnesses.

[Ryland]

Whatever. Kill me in the comments. I know you will.

[Lizzie]

We don't read them anymore. And it's such a liberated, psychotic place

[Ryland]

for us to exist, isn't it, really?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, well, sometimes I, like, look like, oh, they still hate me. Gotta go.

[Ryland]

No, whatever. Yeah, yeah, I was. Yeah, no. No need for me to go low when they go low.

[Lizzie]

You know, it's honestly none of our

[Ryland]

business what you think of us and so many people. I mean, whatever. It doesn't matter. As much as I loved this collab, I still think the classic is the best.

[Lizzie]

You say this every time.

[Ryland]

It's like a new revelation hits me each and every time.

[Lizzie]

Okay, let's circle back.

[Ryland]

Okay. Chris.

[Lizzie]

Chris had an alcoholic binge this weekend.

[Ryland]

Oh, my God. What triggered your binge?

[Chris]

I met a friend for the first time in person. They were in Santa Monica, and they're from New Mexico.

[Ryland]

Oh, the west side.

[Chris]

We'll never meet, but we met and we had a great time, and they were drinking, and I was like, you know what? Who knows if I'll ever see you again? I'm gonna enjoy. And take one shot, which led to two shots, which led to multiple shots.

[Lizzie]

You were taking shots in your 30s. Yeah, that's risky for anyone, let alone a lemon like you.

[Chris]

And then I started feeling, is that

[Lizzie]

nasty to say we'll call a bad car? Oh, I didn't know that. We used to say that about my golden retriever because he was a lemon.

[Chris]

Oh, my.

[Ryland]

I've never heard it. That's just hilarious. I've never heard it for a living being.

[Lizzie]

Well, we used to say that about my dog. I didn't. I. I say it with affection. We love a lemon.

[Ryland]

I love it.

[Lizzie]

As somebody who's afflicted with many things right now. Yourself.

[Ryland]

Yeah, Some could say I'm a lemon.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I started feeling like I was dying at one point and I felt very embarrassed. And so I like, got someone like one of his friends to be like, hey, I ordered a Waymo. Can you help me get to it? And he was like, okay. And he, like, got me to the Waymo, which is like the self driving.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And I. I don't know why I was like, if I'm in one of

[Ryland]

those and I'm dying, no one's not embarrassing. Yeah, they're watching you still.

[Chris]

So I'm in a self, like, you know, by myself, in a Waymo, like, oh, God, I think this is it. Waymo. And it like took me to an emergency room and.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, you Waymo'd to an er.

[Chris]

And then I fell asleep in the. On the bed in the emergency room. And my boyfriend called me, but I was knocked out. And so he called me multiple times. And then when I woke up and saw it, I was like, oh, no. And I called him back and he's like, why are you in an emergency room?

[Lizzie]

What happened?

[Chris]

I'm like, it's fine.

[Ryland]

So were you severely drunk or was there a problem there?

[Chris]

Well, I can't drink. The last time I really, truly drank, I seizured and was in a hospital for three days, so I really shouldn't be drinking. But that was my fear was that I would start seizuring, but I did not.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, I just felt good for you. A ton of pain, growth.

[Chris]

That was my weekend.

[Ryland]

And here I'm worried about a rash.

[Lizzie]

Can you believe?

[Ryland]

I mean, at least you seek medical. Medical attention when you need it.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

So kudos. Thank you.

[Lizzie]

Not to make this about me, but I have stopped pissing blood, so I think congratulations.

[Ryland]

The comments were very worried about you.

[Lizzie]

I saw that and then I got a little worried. I was, oh, no, we're worried about you. And then it's like the blood started dissipating. And then someone was like, it could be cervical cancer. And I was like, I don't think it's cervical cancer.

[Ryland]

Everything.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

And it's really scary. I've been like, oh, can you mute me?

[Chris]

I want to take another bite.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Is he already muted?

[Ryland]

No, he's not. Thank you. Yeah, I'm trying to, like, switch to being a clean house, non toxic house.

[Lizzie]

The sugar's crashing already. I can see it in your eyes. The lights are going out. It's like you just did some heroin.

[Ryland]

Yeah, I'm trying I'm like. But it's like, whatever. We'll get into that another day. Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Do you need to go to the bathroom or something?

[Ryland]

No. Okay. I am floating outside of myself now. And that's only, like, a bite of each one.

[Lizzie]

It probably would be a good time for you to have some iced tea then.

[Ryland]

Oh. Oh, my God. I forgot there's a show to go on.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, sugar gets you every time.

[Ryland]

Do you need this, or have you memorized what's going on?

[Lizzie]

Hold on. I'm itching my armpit. I can't remember if I put deodorant on or not. Oh, my God. Is this the ringworm?

[Ryland]

Stop. Let me see. You want to compare?

[Lizzie]

No, I don't think I put deodorant on. Okay. Okay.

[Ryland]

Yeah, mine's gone.

[Lizzie]

I don't think I need this. But in other enraging news, Timothee Chalamet has offended all of the opera and ballet community.

[Ryland]

Thank God he needed to face some adversity. I just think it's a straight man without post nasal drip winning awards.

[Lizzie]

I just think it's so funny how mad they are. Like, even Doja Cat got on it. She's like, eu on the opera and ballet community.

[Ryland]

Oh, they're mad.

[Lizzie]

You're a real piece of Timothy. Shalom.

[Ryland]

You want to know the craziest part about all of this?

[Lizzie]

You don't care.

[Ryland]

I saw him, like, starting to talk about this, and I was like, scroll.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, yeah, no, me too. But, like, everybody's up in arms about it. That's why I put it on the lit docket, because, like, people are tripping.

[Ryland]

And he's just saying, like, he cares more about acting in film.

[Lizzie]

No, he's said that he doesn't want acting in film to go the way of opera and ballet, where people just don't care about it anymore.

[Ryland]

And what's the problem?

[Lizzie]

That. That's rude.

[Ryland]

Oh, okay.

[Lizzie]

I don't know. I mean, saying that people don't care about it is rude.

[Ryland]

Oh, right.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

I mean, yeah, they'll always. That the thing is reach, I guess. Like, when you're doing a live performance, there's only so many people that can fit into a theater.

[Lizzie]

Everybody.

[Ryland]

So I don't think it's like, people don't care. I think it's a different, different form in which you can reach less people because, like, physically, only so many people can fit inside of a theater.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. And also, like, are there, like, explosions in ballet? Like, if ballet was so cool, wouldn't Michael baby doing it well, I guess

[Ryland]

the argument is like, AI can replace film actors, but they can't replace live performance, period. That's, like, the top comment that, like, you see when you. That, like, you know how you don't have to click in to see a comment and display a comment? Yeah, that was the one that I saw.

[Lizzie]

Someone was throwing shade at Timothy and said, like, well, you know, it takes a truly skilled individual to do the opera or the ballot, and they'll put any loser in a movie that can't act. And it's like, well, but he can act, so you're not insulting him. You're, like, insulting us. So you.

[Ryland]

I would. It's very different. Like, acting in theater. You really can act in the moment or opposite someone acting in film. It's like, you have to be consistent in a way, because it's so mathematical.

[Lizzie]

And we would know because we were both in a pilot.

[Ryland]

Exactly.

[Lizzie]

So.

[Ryland]

So if you want advice from a working actor, if you want to talk

[Lizzie]

about which industry is booming and which one is dimming, it's definitely.

[Ryland]

Hello. Oh, we're in. No, it's okay for today. Thank you.

[Lizzie]

I was so excited. We had a surprise coming.

[Ryland]

You thought I had a surprise for you. Did I ever say why we're not in the office?

[Lizzie]

Does anyone care?

[Ryland]

I mean, they're gonna be a little. Have you? Yes. Every time we change locations, we're not

[Lizzie]

in the office because the refrigerator's broken and they have a repair team out there and.

[Ryland]

But they have to break the floor.

[Lizzie]

They have to break the floor.

[Ryland]

They're doing construction.

[Lizzie]

They have to break the floor, and we're just here to break the Internet, and so that's.

[Ryland]

That's why we're here. No, honestly, a really hot button issue is when there's a different environment that we're existing in.

[Lizzie]

Oh, really?

[Ryland]

That's always drama, and it almost feels

[Lizzie]

like we shouldn't address it so that there's more engagement.

[Ryland]

Got it.

[Lizzie]

It's like why I was saying ballet instead of ballet. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just. It's like a little Inception thing.

[Ryland]

I was gonna inquire about that.

[Lizzie]

No, never let it be cool. Let it be an organic little.

[Ryland]

You never let me be cool.

[Lizzie]

No, I'm rage baiting. That's my thing now.

[Ryland]

Okay, well, then why can't you just let me exist as me when I say my Utah is a rhythms?

[Lizzie]

Because I think that's part of my rage baiting.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. I didn't correct you when you said something insane at the Beginning of the episode that made me feel like I was having a stroke. And then I forgot the actual word for it. And I was like, huh?

[Chris]

What?

[Lizzie]

There's a word you said that I can't remember now, but you said it really wrong. Like, I don't remember what it was, but it really.

[Ryland]

Well, now you get no credit for calling it out.

[Lizzie]

But I was like.

[Ryland]

You were so.

[Lizzie]

I couldn't call it out because you

[Ryland]

said it so normally that I was like, the confidence.

[Lizzie]

Am I stroking out?

[Ryland]

As long as you have confidence, ladies.

[Lizzie]

And that's what the CEO of McDonald's thought when he took the world's smallest bite of a fucking McDonald's burger to be, like, so good. And everybody's Talking about this McDonald's CEO just taking the world's smallest bite. But we need to talk about the fact that. Are those even his hands holding the burger? Like, if you look at the framing of this video that's gone Viral, of the McDonald's CEO taking the bite, being like, that's a big bite. Like, the big arches. Are those his hands? Or is somebody beneath the camera holding the burger up before him? Have you seen this, Chris? Why is no one talks. Anyone talking about the juxtaposition or, like, the framing of his. Can you pull up the video just so I can show Rylan? This guy's taking a bite of a burger, but I swear to God, it's like he's standing with his arms behind his back and somebody else is holding the burger for him to bite because

[Ryland]

he can't touch that. That's what chemicals rub off on his face.

[Lizzie]

That's what it seems like to me. They're like, get a lesser person in here to touch this disgusting burger. I cannot touch it, as Elon made

[Ryland]

a robot that can feed me, period.

[Lizzie]

And then they also, like, conveniently cut every time he takes a bite, and people are joking, like, oh, so he's spitting it out.

[Ryland]

He has a spit bucket.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. So then all the other, like, fast food CEOs are out in these streets taking big old bites of their burgers.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Funny.

[Chris]

I think this is it.

[Lizzie]

Like, whose hands are those? Do you see what I mean? Just the way that he moves makes it seem like those are not his arms. See? Like, that's someone else's hands holding that burger. That's a man who's never held a burger in his life.

[Ryland]

Do you get what I'm saying? They do look unattached.

[Lizzie]

They're big hands, though.

[Ryland]

And he just keeps, like, moving his fingers all over that burger.

[Lizzie]

Now cut. Before I swallow this trash. Okay, that's good. But you get what I'm saying, right? Okay. Crazy.

[Ryland]

And there's like. Stacy texted me and was like, do you think they planned it to go viral? And I was like, I don't think they had that in them.

[Lizzie]

No, it's awesome.

[Ryland]

I think they almost. I think that in turn or like Gen Z Assistant probably almost got fired until it was such good press that they were like, wow, this is so bad. It's great.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. I would also like to start a viral moment where we everybody goes out and don't you dare itch that next to the microphone where everybody goes out and like someone stands behind them and holds the burger for them and they have to eat the whole burger. Like that survival moment, you know, started by someone like me.

[Ryland]

Okay, let's do a tick tock for the sip.

[Lizzie]

Chris and I will do it though, because I'm concerned about what the fuck is on your hands.

[Ryland]

I'm cool, girl.

[Lizzie]

You are dripping in ringworm.

[Ryland]

I don't see any.

[Lizzie]

Because it's in your armpits. You already told us.

[Ryland]

Wouldn't you see it?

[Lizzie]

Yeah, that's what you said. But you said it's in your armpit, so this feels like you're. You're the gaslighter now. Okay, so lots of viral moments last week, the second of which being, is it Pets Smart? Is it Peter Pets Mark?

[Ryland]

We did this on Shane's podcast.

[Lizzie]

Like, is it a mart for Pets? No, you didn't. There's a guy who wrote a song. That's what I'm talking about. And you don't even know it was the same question.

[Ryland]

Which one is it? This question has been asked.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, but you don't even know what we're talking about right now.

[Ryland]

Okay, Somebody can't be both.

[Lizzie]

There was a rally held in front of the PetSmart in Sherman Oak Books where millions of people gathered with protest signs. SCREAM, singing we want answers.

[Ryland]

Wait, people really gathered?

[Lizzie]

Yes, people.

[Ryland]

Really? This is a development. I'm interested.

[Lizzie]

Yes. So there's a young man whose life seemed to have spiraled out of control recently because I went to his Instagram and that's. The pinned video is a song that he wrote about his life spiraling out of control.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

And he's obsessive and depressive. Those are his own words. But because he has both of those things, he's also come up with a hysterical emo screamo song about petsmart. Whether or not it is a Pets Mart. A mart for pets or if pets are smart?

[Ryland]

I think it's a mart for pets.

[Lizzie]

That's not the point here.

[Ryland]

Oh, well, you're really close. The question.

[Lizzie]

No, you're not listening good. You're listening bad. I think also my take on it, there's a third option. Can you pets. Can you pet smart? Like, when you have pets, can you be smart about how you march? I think it's a. I think the answer is. It is both.

[Ryland]

Can you pet smart?

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Can I execute having pets smart?

[Lizzie]

You see what I'm saying?

[Ryland]

I do see what you're saying.

[Lizzie]

Right. Anyways, this guy wrote a song about it, and it's gone absolutely viral. And he had a gathering this last Sunday at 2pm at the Sherman Oaks Petsmart.

[Ryland]

I do think it's a mart for pets, though, if I'm being honest.

[Lizzie]

I think it's a mark for pets where you can pet smart. Honestly.

[Ryland]

Did somebody come out and give them the answer?

[Lizzie]

Nobody.

[Ryland]

Should we, for the afterset, go to petsmart and demand the manager tell us.

[Lizzie]

The manager doesn't know anything.

[Ryland]

How do they not know anything?

[Lizzie]

Because the managers probably, like some person in high school, like, when I was Kate worked at petsmart. Kate doesn't have an answer.

[Ryland]

Did you ask?

[Lizzie]

No. We could call her and ask if

[Ryland]

you want to call, demanded. She doesn't have an answer.

[Lizzie]

I'm just saying she probably doesn't have an answer. But petsmart has responded in a funny way where, like, everybody in the office is like. And, like, they're getting up and, like, leaving their seats because they're, like, responding.

[Ryland]

Like, they made a real about, like, the conference room.

[Lizzie]

It's really funny. And then the comment section there was so stupid. Someone was like, you think you'd be grateful about this great free press for your company. And it's like, they're joking. It's sarcasm, you fucking weirdo.

[Ryland]

So did the CEO make a statement?

[Lizzie]

The CEO actually came out and wound up just taking huge bites of the goldfish that they have while somebody else held them from behind and put them in his mouth.

[Ryland]

He's like, they're staying silent.

[Lizzie]

There's your answer. It's like a fish called wandaj. And it is.

[Ryland]

So did they make a statement?

[Lizzie]

I don't think so, other than just

[Ryland]

hitting their heads against.

[Lizzie]

As of now that you and I are sitting here and I have done zero research, I'm gonna go ahead and say no statements have been made.

[Ryland]

You want to know what came across my Explore page?

[Lizzie]

No.

[Ryland]

Zooey Deschanel trying crumbles for the first time and just dragging them to hell. What is she. These are just grass. These are bad. Some are undercooked, some are overcooked. They're too sweet. They're bad. I don't know where these are coming from. And the top comment is crumble being like, we love you. We have a million different kinds of cookies. We're sure you'd like one. But I was just like, wow. She's, like, almost vibrating. I know. It's, like, funny, but, like, she was just like, these are bad. These are bad. It's like a dedicated video on her Instagram. And I was like, oh, wow.

[Lizzie]

Good for her.

[Ryland]

Good for you. I mean, not that I'm above that, but I'm. I just couldn't believe, like, somebody of her honesty, integrity. I'm. Caliber.

[Lizzie]

Moral caliber. I was thinking caliber as, well, a gay.

[Ryland]

So you're homophobic. You don't like Crumble because it's led by a gay billionaire?

[Lizzie]

No, but you're homophobic because you outed him.

[Ryland]

You don't like a gay man from Utah. Overcoming, becoming. Financially.

[Lizzie]

You're literally my favorite person. And you're a gay man who's financially. You have applied to me.

[Ryland]

Oh, my God.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. Don't touch me.

[Ryland]

Is that why. Is that why I identify with him so much? Yeah, because you're already in the same story. He's just richer than me.

[Lizzie]

Are you sure?

[Ryland]

Yet He's a billionaire.

[Lizzie]

Why didn't you come up with combo cookies?

[Ryland]

Me?

[Lizzie]

All you do is have ringworm and

[Ryland]

rashes and sign his problems.

[Lizzie]

Ew.

[Ryland]

I bet he's never had any of those things.

[Lizzie]

Chris has answers.

[Ryland]

The official.

[Chris]

The official Petsmart Tick Tock and Instagram officially responded.

[Lizzie]

What the did they say?

[Chris]

The answer is that it is, in fact. Oh, Pet Smart. Wait, officially?

[Ryland]

What? You didn't make sense. It's Pet Smart. Pet Smart.

[Lizzie]

So you can pet clothes. You can Pet Smart.

[Ryland]

So you're petting. You're having pets smartly.

[Lizzie]

Yes, but it's not pets. It's not a mart.

[Chris]

It's not Peter Pet Smart.

[Lizzie]

It's pets.

[Ryland]

I know, but it's like we're having pets.

[Lizzie]

Well, what's their rationale? Do they explain it? Do they explain themselves?

[Chris]

It just says it's Pet Smart in, like, the captions, and it says case closed.

[Lizzie]

That's all. Also, they should have dragged this out because they honestly could have had, like, a whole.

[Chris]

Also, to be fair, in their logo, they do have it.

[Lizzie]

Okay, well, no, but here's another point that the song Makes.

[Ryland]

Oh, I get.

[Lizzie]

Is apostrophe s. Pets.

[Ryland]

Yeah.

[Lizzie]

Mark.

[Ryland]

Okay?

[Lizzie]

For pets, it's possessive. It's a possessive apostrophe Smart. Yeah, but it is red. And we're petting smart.

[Ryland]

We're petting. We're pet owners smartly. I'm into it. I get it.

[Lizzie]

Okay?

[Ryland]

They win.

[Lizzie]

Good for them.

[Ryland]

But I do also think it's a mark for pets.

[Lizzie]

In other victorious news, one of my biggest pet peeves is people who are out in these streets watching videos on top volume with no headphones.

[Ryland]

Oh, I could kill them. Death to them all.

[Lizzie]

If you've ever been to the Van Nuys dmv, you understand my need to blow up government building.

[Ryland]

I'm gonna go to Thousand Oaks. Can't stand that one.

[Lizzie]

You can't. Nobody should be going to the van eyes.

[Ryland]

Nobody should be going.

[Lizzie]

Unless you like literally need like a 13th reason. Don't go.

[Ryland]

Honestly, you need like bear spray more than you would hiking in the mountains by my house, period. It's crazy over there.

[Lizzie]

No, it sucks.

[Ryland]

It's.

[Lizzie]

Everybody's got their phone on top volume. And also I was. I was at Kaiser to pick up a prescription for Billy the other day during the strike. So the line was two hours long.

[Ryland]

Right after you got rear ended and scratched by a person who said this

[Lizzie]

was the ear infection before that. Ear infection.

[Ryland]

Oh, geez.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, So I come in threes. They come in threes. Oh, they literally do. He had three ear infections and now we're getting tubes. So very similar to your post nasal drip, but a little bit different.

[Ryland]

Yes. It goes to his ears instead of his throat.

[Lizzie]

Yes.

[Ryland]

Me and Billy are having the same problem.

[Lizzie]

You're. Yes.

[Ryland]

Okay.

[Lizzie]

Except for one of you can drain and the other cannot. Right? Yeah.

[Ryland]

Poor Bill.

[Lizzie]

Yeah, poor Bill. Everybody in that line had their phone on loud.

[Ryland]

Kill them.

[Lizzie]

Everybody in that phone had. It was crazy. And then. And I was on hold with Medicaid trying to get Ernie on health insurance. And so like, I honestly was like this and I put it on speakerphone and I turned it on loud while they had me on hold for two hours. No, that's just me being vindictive. I was like, if you're all going to do it, I'm going to do it too.

[Ryland]

Speaking of torture strategies to train Navy SEAL artists, just try going to a movie theater. Artist.

[Lizzie]

Oh, because of the chewing?

[Ryland]

Yes. Have you ever been to a movie theater?

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

These people chew crazy, dude. I almost turned around and screamed at the top of my lungs. Could you stop it?

[Lizzie]

I was In. I was at a live theater show. I was, I was watching that Sean Hayes play that he won a Tony for.

[Ryland]

And the plays are so.

[Lizzie]

The old woman next to me was crunching lozenges. She had plastic wrapped lozengers inside a plastic bag, ruffling around in them, ruffling around. The plastic wrap opening up and then crunching them with her dentures. That's not something a person with real teeth could do. It was nuts.

[Ryland]

I, I, I, I on it. Like you think my chewing is unbearable. At least I chew with my mouth closed this weekend. These people at the movie theaters do not.

[Lizzie]

Joe was playing with his beard hair like this so close to my face. I was like, you're gonna have to stop that.

[Ryland]

Shane hates when I do that.

[Lizzie]

It's awful. He, it reminded me of you chewing eggs. And I was like, you have to stop because I hate you as much as I hate Ryland when he's eating eggs.

[Ryland]

That was one time. And you were just once.

[Lizzie]

Enough. One times enough.

[Ryland]

Not like I always eat eggs loudly. You were just.

[Lizzie]

Just who? I'm sure you always eat eggs that way.

[Ryland]

Okay, okay, I'm done. I'm done with you and I'm done with the show.

[Lizzie]

No, I didn't even get to my topic. I was there. You segued away from it.

[Ryland]

Okay, do you want Chris to sit in?

[Lizzie]

Oh, no. Only because I'm worried something that he. He was in an emergency room this weekend. God knows what he's carrying right now. Both of you are scaring the out of me. I'd much rather a ringworm rash than whatever the he picked up in the.

[Ryland]

No, see, it's not big.

[Lizzie]

He does have it. You saw a woman was escorted off of a flight for watching reels on loud on her phone.

[Ryland]

Good.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. By the police.

[Ryland]

Good.

[Lizzie]

The police dragged that off. She's like. I listened after the second warning. It shouldn't take a single warning, you nasty animal. Get the out of here and chew

[Ryland]

with your mouths closed at movie theaters. If I could scream and not lose my voice, I would would.

[Lizzie]

He would. I would. He would.

[Chris]

I would.

[Ryland]

But I'm having a calm body, so

[Lizzie]

we're going to whisper shame, shame on you. Body, shame. Calm body. We have calm body.

[Ryland]

Well, great. Now my kids are going to sleep, so if you have to pee, you got to pee now.

[Lizzie]

We're vibrating high today. Oh. What else was I going to say? I guess nothing. Okay. Okay.

[Ryland]

Well, you guys, that was very fun. I had fun. Did you have fun?

[Lizzie]

I had a great time dipping and Doing this.

[Ryland]

Did you have fun, Chris? I had the best time. I'm glad that you're still doing good.

[Lizzie]

Yeah. What was the conclusion of that? You just chilled out and then left the hospital? Oh, yeah.

[Chris]

They gave me a bunch of medication.

[Lizzie]

Any fun ones?

[Chris]

Anti spasmodic stuff.

[Lizzie]

Ooh, super fun.

[Chris]

Nauseous stuff.

[Lizzie]

Really fun.

[Ryland]

Do you have any leftover?

[Lizzie]

Yes, because I feel a little nauseous after sitting next to someone you know.

[Ryland]

Okay, well, thank you guys so much for watching and enjoying the sip. Did you like the new old set? Did you like eating in the middle? Did we scare you?

[Lizzie]

Are you worried you're gonna catch ringworm from watching this episode?

[Ryland]

Probably not.

[Lizzie]

Is pancreatitis a condition that persists, or is it one that's done? Eventually.

[Ryland]

Is my rash, chick bugs or poison ivy?

[Lizzie]

If my kidneys are failing, would I still be peeing blood, or does it stop on its own occasionally before it starts again randomly? Let me know.

[Ryland]

My voice ever gonna fully come back?

[Lizzie]

Let's hope not.

[Ryland]

Okay. And with that, thank you guys so much for watching and supporting our show. We love you very much. Everyone's links are in the description section below. We all post YouTube videos on our own individual channels really quickly.

[Lizzie]

My husband did my vlog this last week.

[Ryland]

What do you mean?

[Lizzie]

Like, he vlogged.

[Ryland]

We're getting a day in Joe's life.

[Lizzie]

Uhhuh. We got in a huge fight, and I was like, then you do my vlog. He's like, I don't. I can't vlog. Like, I was like, neither can I. So then he. I said, do it. You do it. You vlog. Cuz.

[Ryland]

For real?

[Lizzie]

Yeah.

[Ryland]

Wait, what was the fight about? Too deep?

[Lizzie]

No, I just remember it. It was annoying.

[Ryland]

You want to tell us?

[Lizzie]

He was sleeping during the day. I was like, wake the up.

[Ryland]

Yeah. We're parents, period. We don't have the luxury of sleeping during the day.

[Lizzie]

And if anyone's sleeping during the day, it's me, so that's that.

[Ryland]

So then you vlog.

[Lizzie]

You vlog.

[Ryland]

So literally, like, start to finish, he's like, hey, guys, it's Joe. Today I'm making eggs.

[Lizzie]

It didn't work out that well, so it's just a segment, but he's out in the street dipping and doing the thing. I haven't seen it yet.

[Ryland]

What is he dipping and doing?

[Lizzie]

I literally haven't seen it yet. I think he's making steak.

[Ryland]

Oh, all right. Well, we love you guys very much. We will see you next week. Goodbye.

[Lizzie]

By. And that's the zip.