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A
This is something I haven't been willing to talk about.
B
That's what this show is. It's being vulnerable and real.
A
Home Invaders.
B
Keep scrolling.
A
This isn't for you. Home Invaders. Is it a bug?
B
It's crazy. Is it a bug? How is he even in a position where his balls are available to be seen on a live stream?
A
Ooh.
B
Okay, don't act like I'm a super, Karen.
A
Is something wrong at home? It's viral. It's spreading like Covid out in these streets.
B
Oh, and I'm the unrelatable one.
A
Are we rolling? Okay, well, then I just keep my mouth shut.
B
Keep your mouth shut about what?
A
Nothing.
B
What?
A
Nothing. Oh, my God.
B
What?
A
Nothing.
B
What?
A
No, nothing.
B
What? You're trying to shame Chris?
A
No.
B
I thought I was being ghosted by all of you. Honestly, I thought everyone was a no show. I was like, where are they?
A
Truly? I think we need to make Chris Chair's location with us because I was about to start calling hospitals.
B
I honestly was like. Because he was, like, pulling some weird shit this morning. I thought we were gonna have to call him live on air and be like, what's wrong?
A
We didn't hear from Chris all weekend.
B
All weekend.
A
Quiet as a mouse. Not even.
B
Where were you, Christopher?
C
I. I don't know. Dealing with a lot of emergencies, honestly.
A
Oh, no.
B
I texted him this morning and I was like, are you showing up?
C
I didn't know it was happening because normally you guys text the night before.
A
You're the one who starts the text because we're just. If you don't text and say, hey, are you guys going to come and hang out for a little bit?
B
We wouldn't. And then I text the glue that
A
keeps his family together. Chris, you're the boss. You're in charge.
B
Normally Chris is always at like 8pm he's like, you up? Text. Yeah, what time tomorrow?
A
Hey, guys.
B
And so the one time he doesn't do that, I was like, is he soft quitting? I texted Lizzie on the side. I was like, I think he stopped quitting.
A
Honestly, I was afraid to speak this into existence, but I was like, I think he's probably in the hospital.
B
Well, and then I got concerned. I was like. I was like, call him like three times. And I. Yeah, so.
A
And then I checked in.
C
It was all good.
B
And then I'm late and I. And I get a selfie of Chris at the front door, and I was like, oh, thank God he's alive. But I'm late and I wasn't going to tell you Because I thought you were at the hospital, period. So now it's just too bad. I only told Lizzie I was late.
A
We're glad you're alive.
B
Thanks.
A
Congratulations on the new car.
C
It doesn't feel like congratulations. I've never. I'm the most depressed person to ever get a new car.
A
No. I think everybody feels that way. Like, even people who get fancy cars are like, oh, my God.
B
Like.
A
But this is how I can rationalize the cost of it. It's like, what are you going to do?
B
Across America, the buyer's remorse sets in. And you're like. And then having to felt like, well, not even having to fill. You were literally forced into having to get a new car. So it's like, spin money. Yeah. Oh.
C
As I was driving home, like, it was so weird because they were like, ring a bell?
A
Let's take a picture.
C
And I'm sitting there, like, about to cry because I see the amount of money I have to put down and, like, literally, like, wanting to cry. And I'm like, I don't want to take a picture. And they make me take a picture and my picture is me, like, depressed.
B
Are you by yourself or did somebody go with you?
C
My mom went with me.
A
Reframe it. Be excited. This car's dope. You gotta fucking dope.
C
It's just so hard. Cause, like, I spent my whole life being in debt. Finally got out of it. Thanks to this podcast and Shane's podcast. Really thanks to you guys. Right. For the first time in my life, and I'm like, I'm never getting back into that. Immediately got horrifically back into debt because of this.
B
But it's going to come back to you.
A
Yeah.
B
I, I. While this is annoying, and while it's a huge annoying process, I'm manifesting for you that it's coming back and then more, period.
A
And acceptance is, like, the best way to handle it. Cuz. What are you going to do? It's already done, bro. You want to suffer more.
B
And it would be more to, like, continue to, like, Uber to work forever. And now you have something super reliable.
A
Yeah.
B
The windows seal. It's beautiful. I like that it's not white and bo. Like, I have white cars and they're boring. Like, you got a fun car.
C
That's another thing. So I'm. I spiraled about the color the next morning because I was all very last minute. I was, like, in a manic state at my dad's. Like, I'm blowing so much money on Ubers.
B
What am I doing? Like, I Can't keep doing this. I'm just gonna get a car.
C
And I, like. Like a crazy person went to get a car, and. And they only had two colors, and the other color I didn't like.
B
What was the other color?
C
It was white. But I didn't like how it looked and reminded me too much of my last car.
B
It didn't feel like a new trauma.
A
Wanted a new chapter.
C
And so I was like, oh, I guess I'll just get this color.
A
Is it called Midnight Teal? What's it called?
C
It's called Ocean Gem.
A
Ooh, Ocean Gem. Super gay.
C
And at night I was like, oh,
A
I like how this looks a lot.
C
And then I saw it in the morning, and I was like, I'm gonna unalive myself. It looks very different than it did at night. No, it's beautiful.
A
I pulled up and immediately was like, fuck, yeah. Chris got a new car. Yeah, that shit is dope.
B
And it's. It's a pretty car. Yeah, I like the car a lot.
A
That shit is lit. It's a good car. It's gay as fuck.
B
And so are you.
A
So are you, period. You got to start reframing it because why don't live in this darkness? Like, you're in a position where. Yeah, you got it. It's awesome. It's.
C
Yeah.
B
And the brand deals from Argentino, they'll start rolling in.
A
Those are rolling.
B
That's.
C
Honestly, I'm counting on. And thanks to Lizzie. Yeah. Telling me about Argentino, I did get my first YouTube brand deal is going to come up in the future. And so thanks to stuff like that, I'm like, maybe I'll be able to make these paintings.
B
Sometimes when you take the leap, the world opens for you.
A
Yeah.
B
And that's, like, a scary thing. But I.
A
No matter what it is. What it is.
B
Yeah.
A
And it's going to continue to be what it is. And you can either choose to suffer through it or be lit about it.
B
And you guys both showed up in butter yellow today looking gorgeous.
A
You can't be depressed in butter yellow is stupid.
B
It's almost like the two.
A
You got to knock it off.
B
Coordinated this, like, beautiful, beautiful moment, knowing that you were both coming to work today but not telling me you guys were coming to work.
A
I have literally offered you the butter yellow shirt I have in the car.
B
That's a crop top. And I met my wishes.
A
Long year. I don't know how long your torso is.
B
Okay, well, maybe for the food portion of this show, which my husband's been blowing me up about new food, so there's a lot to discover.
A
I'm famished.
B
Really?
A
Yeah. Can't get enough food right now. I'm so hungry.
B
This isn't helping with the pregnancy room.
A
There's no way I'm pregnant.
B
Oh.
A
Like medically impossible. Unless I am as important as I think I am. And I have the second coming, which would be crazy. And I would love to say I told you so.
B
So Liz had a birthday party. Well, it was really like a kids gathering.
A
Yeah, I had a kids gathering.
B
Lizzie had a kids gathering. And I was in awe of her, you know, she was like, I'm having a kids gathering. Like, she was, like, using the excuse of her birthday. But really, like, every person that was involved has a kid or two.
A
Well, no. Okay.
B
You're what the.
A
The whole thing came about. I wasn't gonna have any.
B
Well, this is what I'm saying.
A
My husband made plans to go out of town with his friends and blow stuff up in the desert as men want to do. And he asked me if he could go. And I was like, I don't want to be alone with our kids. Fucking stupid. No. And then I, like, hit my mom chat. I was like, hey, if anybody wants to go and hang out at the park on May 3rd, I'm going to be alone with my kids, and I'd rather not be. And then I was like, hold on. Forget that part. I'm having a birthday party. You have to come May 3, and it's a potluck, so you have to feed me and my babies.
B
Take care of us.
A
Hold on. I was trying to mute, but I can't reach that far. Oh, that was me.
B
Oh, wait, you're number three.
A
Yeah. Can you believe that? Number three on the call, she.
B
Who am I? Is that. Did that work?
C
I should be number three.
B
No, Is Chris number one?
A
Wait, mute Chris.
B
Oh, my God. Which one is number three?
A
Hello? Hello?
B
Hello?
A
It is Chris.
B
Are you sure?
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Okay.
A
I don't know what that confusion was. Sorry, mom brain. So. So that's where that came about. But it was never going to be. I was never going to do much. I did go to Target in the morning and get some decorations and there's
B
both of your kids or your husband was still around.
A
I just went with my biggest kid.
B
Okay.
A
The big one, as we call him in the house. I say you get the big one, I'll get the little one. That's how we differentiate the children, because I can't with names anymore. Everyone's Billy Or Bubs or James. For some reason, I fear I made
B
a bad impression of myself.
A
I hear you do, too.
B
This is why I can't.
A
I'm really worried about it.
B
Why would you invite me to something like this?
A
Because you have kids, and I love you.
B
Oh. I just, like, can't help but be myself. And sometimes that's off. Put pudding.
A
Wait, hold on. Do you want to drag yourself, or do you want to go back to dragging me?
B
Oh, well, we could do both, because
A
I cut you off. Dude, let's finish. Let's close out. You first.
B
What was I dragging you about?
A
You were gonna.
B
Oh, I just thought you were a mom that could do it all. I. I texted her that morning, and I was like, I see. This is a potluck. Like, I. I'm gonna try, but, like, I can't make something. Like, maybe I can stop by the grocery store, but I have two kids. And, like, maybe not.
A
I said, don't worry about it.
B
And I said, well, how are you? And she goes, there's gonna be Jersey Mike's. There's gonna be chips, there's gonna be dip. It's gonna be all this fun stuff. And I said, well, how are you executing that? Ignores me and sends, like, a picture of her and Billy having a good time. And I was just like, wow. With a newborn and a toddler.
A
I don't have a newborn. I have a baby.
B
Oh, my gosh. That rolls. We get it.
A
No, he's forgotten to roll. How to roll front to back, which is so embarrassing.
B
Don't worry. Next week, he's learned to roll. I love that little baby, though. Honestly, I could take him from you.
A
He's a good time.
B
He had, like. He just. He just goes with it.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, he's just, like, fending for him. I mean, there's, like, 1800 parents around. He's just, like, fending for himself in the middle of everyone just having a good time. And then I was finally, like, I guess I should pick him up. So I'm holding him, and it's like. It's just a fun time, but he's just, you know, he's a happy go. Lucky guy. He does. He's like, happy to be picked up.
A
Thank you. Hello.
B
Somebody decided to pick me up.
A
Thank you very much.
B
Thank you very much. And this whole time, up until this morning, I thought Lizzie just did it all. I thought she stopped at Jersey Mike's, picked up the catering, and then she turns to Spencer and goes, oh, no. My friend Claire threw this, and I
A
Was like, you brought the jersey. Claire brought Jersey.
B
That's the party. Jersey Mike's was the party.
A
Oh, my God.
B
You said she set up the blankets.
A
Well, everybody brought something. I brought fruits.
B
Anyone that didn't bring something.
A
I brought fruits, vegetables, and soda or soda water and plates.
B
All the babies were drinking. I was like, what are you guys doing? Every kid was, like, running around with their sparkling waters.
A
Claire was like, do you think it's a problem that Juice had a whole one? I was like, well, what's he gonna do, throw up? She was like, yeah. And I was like, okay.
B
And I was like, you guys let your one and a half year olds do whatever you want.
A
I just keep. That's my whole thing now. I'm like, well, what's the worst that could happen? And someone's like, well, they'll throw up. And I'm like, all right. And then what? We clean it up.
B
Like, what do you.
A
What do you. I don't think they care as much as we care because I don't know if you've ever seen a kid puke, but they just, like. They puke and rally if they're not sick. It's just like a. All right, what's next? It's crazy.
B
Okay, so thank you, Claire, for throwing the party. She brought Jersey Mike and set up the blankets.
A
Well, she set up her blanket, and I set up my blanket, but they got there before I did, so that they picked the spots. Is your phone on loud? No. Is it mine?
B
It's actually you.
A
This is mortifying.
B
Who's calling you?
A
It's fucking life insurance again.
B
Stop it. You haven't executed.
A
No, because I don't want to.
B
Okay, well, then just tell them no.
A
No.
B
And, like, don't your kids sleep till 3? Who starts a party at 3 when our kids sleep till 3?
A
No, my kid sleeps 12:30 to 2:30. Sometimes 1 to 3.
B
Okay.
A
I didn't want to be alone, so I show up. I was scared, and I really only called it a potluck so that everyone couldn't be like, well, we have to go to dinner now.
B
You know, stay around. Don't go to dinner.
A
It was a trap.
B
I shut the party down, though. I really. I mean.
A
No, you stayed. You held my baby for over an hour. I, like, could weep thinking about how sweet that was.
B
I had a great time with Ernie.
A
I had a great time.
B
My kids were having a blast. That just, like. I mean, it was fun to be in a group setting with other parents where, like, the kids get safe. There's yes. There's enough eyes for all the wandering kids. And, like, everybody has each other's backs. And your friends are lovely.
A
They're really nice.
B
I just am a little, like, too much myself sometimes.
A
No, you're perfect. You're perfect. You really are. You are the. You as you.
B
I'm nice, though.
A
You're. No, you're. I Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with you.
B
Okay. Thank you.
A
I. Because I'm awful. You know what I mean?
B
Like, and they like you.
A
There's. And they like me. There's a second Claire, and I was from my new mom, and my. I should probably stop using names on the Internet from my new mom group. And I really like her. I think she's really, really cool. And I get nervous and I make jokes, but it'. Like, it's the way that my dad makes jokes where people don't know it's a joke because maybe it's not funny.
B
I don't know. Well, I think your delivery sometimes doesn't really feel like we don't know if we're allowed to laugh. I mean, I know, right? But a new person or like, yeah, somebody that's working a job wouldn't know that it's a joke, because you say it with such sincerity.
A
Well, so I was asking how old her second kid is, and. But we were also, like. We were talking about our husbands at the same time. And so I was like, you know, well, how old is he? And she goes, oh, my husband or my kid? And I was like, your husband? Just like that. And then she told me how old he was. And then I didn't know how to respond because I didn't mean it. So I was like, that's a great age. Like, what?
B
Well, I think whatever. When there's babies running around, it's like, I don't know. I'd. Like, there was a.
A
I didn't know what to do, but you are the same way.
B
Yeah, I'm just the same way. I'm a little off putting. Like, I didn't realize. Like, I did show up with, like, my huge Arwanto. And then I was like, oh, God. And then somebody goes, how much is that? And I was like, no. And I was it David. I said it was a gift. Like, I have no idea how much it was. And then Max found no. Jet found, like, a Land Rover Defender,
A
which is the back of the backstory on this, though. Jet goes everywhere with a small cybertruck.
B
That is.
A
That is.
B
Yeah, Daddy's truck.
A
And he that is Jet. That is the one toy that Jet will not share. And that's fine. And he's entitled to his objects.
B
Yes. And so he. We walk up to the event and like, the parents all have, like, brought toys that all the babies are playing with.
A
And Jet's got his cyber truck.
B
And then there was a Land Rover Defender. And he goes, daddy's truck. And then I go, now he has both of daddy's trucks. And Lizzie was like, shut up.
A
He's collecting all of daddy's cars.
B
And I was like, no, it's just ironic. Like, that's like such a specific car to like, be the only car at a party. Like a Land Rover Defender. I've never even seen that as a toy.
A
I will say that was funny as, like, what are the odds of that? It was just funny, but I don't think anyone heard it. And then Rylan proceeded to take the truck.
B
The Defender just, like, took it into his possession. And I go, is this okay? And Lizzie goes, yeah, everyone's sharing toys. And then I'm like, whose is this? And Lizzie goes, they're gone. And I go, well, can I Venmo the mom or something?
A
I asked. She said, no. Oh, she said she can have it.
B
She.
A
I said, one of my psycho friends wants to buy this Defender toy off
B
of who's already stole. He's already taken it home and it's in his possession, and his kid has a death grip on it. But can he buy it from you?
A
Can he buy it from you? Like, but that's the thing with little kids. Like, they're just taking and like, they put stuff in stuff. Like they. That's what they like to do. They like to take things and put them in other things and then remove things and put them in other things. So regularly I'll be going through my diaper bag and I'll be like, what the is this? And it's cuz Billy's just picked some other kids up and put it in our bag.
C
Yeah.
B
He's like, oh, I want this. Let's take it home.
A
Yeah, he ate all of Maxine's snacks. I have her snack thing in the car right now.
B
Oh, my poor kids were just ruining the food display at your party yesterday.
A
All the kids were ruining.
B
First Max runs over and ever there's like pizza that's just sitting out, but it is on the blanket. And Max is running over to me and just stumbles over the pizza.
A
That was actually a tomato tart. Oh, that was a pizza.
B
Oh. And I'm the unrelatable one. I can't even def differentiate a tart from a pizza. And I'm unrelatable.
A
It looks a lot like a pizza and it talks a lot like a pizza, but it's not a pizza. It's a tomato tart.
B
Who made that one?
A
Cara.
B
How does she have all the hours in a day?
A
She's got to be on drugs.
B
She's got to be.
A
And I say that with, like, a lot of respect and love because she does be doing it.
B
I'm nervous around her. Because you have such a tumultuous. Tumultuous.
A
No, I don't. With Carol.
B
Oh, I get all her friends are. Kate, Kara, Kara, Claire. They're all the same version of a name.
A
They really are. No. Kara just does it all in a way where it's like, are you on fandom?
B
Means care is the one that's tall.
A
Yes.
B
Okay.
A
Yeah. And Cara makes me want to be a better person.
B
Great.
A
Much in the same way that you do.
B
Thank you.
A
Yeah.
B
It's midweek, you're tired, you're exhausted, and all you want is a delicious, comforting, home cooked meal. I will typically end up making the same boring thing over and over and over or just like fall into the same trap of ordering out, which is so expensive, and not even giving me, like, the home cooked craving meal that, like, I want. And that's where hellofresh steps in to save my life and yours as well. With hellofresh, you can cook up bold flavors from around the world without ever leaving home. It's exciting to explore the new cuisines and how hellofresh takes all of the stress out of mealtime. No recipe hunting, no ingredient sourcing. Everything arrives to your door and you don't even have to go to the grocery store. The convenience of hellofresh is truly unmatched, and it is delicious. Both of our kids are obsessed with hellofresh.
A
Oh, I'm obsessed with hellofresh.
B
I mean, us too. But it's a testament that, like, our babies will eat hello fresh.
A
What I particularly like about the new menu options for hellofresh is there's a million options and all of them are protein heavy, which is great for me as a breastfeeding mom. And they incorporate veggies, which is great for me as a mom of a toddler because it's impossible to get him to eat veggies. And he will sit there and grub the house down.
C
Boots.
B
They do have a wide variety. Like Elizabeth was saying, over 80 plus global recipes every month, including Vietnamese Moroccan, Caribbean, and so much more. Cravings should not just wait for takeout. You can get international ingredients sent straight to you. So dinner is always the destination. Nothing hits quite like home cooking. And you're gonna want to experience all that is hellofresh. They are, of course, offering you a special deal. You can go to hellofresh.com the SIP10FM now to get 10 free meals plus a free NutriBullet Ultra plus two in one compact kitchen system. That's $189.99 value. And you get that on your third box. Free meals are applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. Disclaimer must order the third box by May 31st of 2026. That's hellofresh.com thesip10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free Nutra Bullet. So did you have a good birthday?
A
I would say I had the best birthday.
B
Really?
A
Yeah. But I can't because the best birthday was finding out I was pregnant with Ernie. No, this is just as good because he's here now, so.
B
And you did lie to us. You said we couldn't go to the movies because you were going to the movies on your birthday. And then you proceeded to not go to the movies on your birthday or birth week at all.
A
I forgot about my plans on my birthday. I forgot I had mommy and me.
C
Oh.
A
So we really only had like an hour together.
B
Okay.
A
But Joe came to mommy and me with me, which was cute, right? And then we went to the mall. Then I got my hair done.
B
It does look gorgeous.
A
It's been trimmed. I showered before bed last night and then did nothing to it, so it's not as good as it should be.
B
Well, your birthday was awful for me.
A
I'm so sorry. Oh, no. Are you gonna go there?
B
I am, but I'm gonna try to be light hearted about it.
A
You don't have to be.
B
I mean, I just. I don't want to. Like, I don't want to. Oh, God. I don't want it to, like. I don't want it to pass and then be like, let me catch you up because, like, I'm gonna talk about it at some point.
A
Yeah, but you can do that too, if you don't want to do this.
B
Hmm.
A
You want to think about it?
B
Well, I don't want to scare people either. It's like, my kids are fine. It's just like on your birthday, we were just. A lot's changing right now and we, like, we were finding a replacement nanny and Like, I didn't have childcare on your birthday, which is fine. But it's like, it's a change for my kids, too. So, like, I have my kids for the day. I'm out taking them to swimming. Less swimming lessons. And then we stopped by Teresa's because their grandma Teresa's lives right by swimming lessons. So I had Shane walking the dogs, and Shane, like, calls me in a panic and is like, honey's pee is like, full blood. Full blood. Full, like, chunky blood out of nowhere. Mm. Like, she's been acting fine. Mm. She got a physical two months ago. They did her blood work. They did the physical exam. They felt her fine. Mm. And he's just, like, freaking out. And I'm like, well, you need. We. You gotta take her to the vet right now. And, like, I can't meet him at the vet. I have two kids. It's their nap time. It's like. And so she spends all day at the vet. And it's like, the vets are very somber. They feel very without hope. And this is before they even started, like, running tests and everything on her. So we're panicking, and, like, I was. I was like, maybe there is a world where she just has a uti. Could be. Could be just a uti. Like, I'm not gonna panic myself. I'm not gonna freak out. I'm just gonna, like, try to stay calm, cool, and collected. And. And by the end of the day, they do release her, and they're like, well, we did every test that we could that day. They did an ultrasound, and they did find a tumor. They obviously can't tell what it is. It was on her kidney. And in the moment, they're telling us, well, it's on the kidney, so we're not sure because it's linked to so many other main arteries or organs that if we remove this, there's a chance that she wouldn't even make it through the surgery itself. And so we're like, okay, but, like, yesterday, Shoot. I mean, she's eating, she's walking, she's happy. She's like a normal dog. And out of nowhere, this happens. And they're like, well, if you really want to, like, look into this further. I'm like, yes, I want to look into this further. Let's get a seat. I mean, I think. I think some people maybe just can't afford to look into it for. I don't know if, like, everyone has the means to be able to. To look further when there's like, yeah, it's A blessing. Yes. When there's a sentence like this where it's like, we see a big thing connected to main arteries that is 99.9 cancer. And so we take her back the next day to do the CT scan, and we're just, like, hoping and praying for something better. And the actual surgeon calls us and she goes, oh, I can definitely remove this. And we're like, oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. And it was like, on your birthday. And I, like, you're the person I would want to call about dogs. And I know you would have picked up my phone. I know you would have answered. But, like, you also have, like, a similar trauma. And I'm like, this will. You will take this on as, like, your own, and it will also, like, consume your life.
A
But in just. I've said this to you before, and I'll say it again. I, I. These things, I would not make it about me.
B
Oh, I know you wouldn't. But I know you show up for your friends and your family, like, in that regard in all fronts, but it's something I just didn't want to put on you. Because she got home, the doctors, like, released her and they were like, well, she's fine to go home for now. But then she got home and she was like, still bleeding chunks. And I was like, well, does she need to spend the night in the er? Is this her last night? Like, I don't want to send her to the ER if, like, she's gonna pass there. And then, like, she could have passed comfortably at home, but is she in so much? So I had this, like, whole back and forth I'm on. We end up leaving her at home. The surgeon calls us the next day and is like, I can execute this. But, like, after she does the CT scan, but she's like, now I need to send it in for further testing. So all week we have hope because we're like, oh, we're just gonna schedule something from my fucking teeth. It's, like, very annoying.
A
We can't see it.
B
And so all week we're hopeful because she, she was our first confident. She was confident and nobody had been up to then. They're kind of just looking at us like. And I was like, well, maybe they just don't want to, like, give us a false sense of hope. And so, like, whatever. Up until your birthday party, there were like, oh, they're just going to schedule the surgery next week, and it's going to be fine. The surgeon calls us. She said that because you have to send the CT scans off to be reviewed by a specialist. It's spread everywhere. And so, like, like, now she has to go to the. Your. She's going to the cancer doctor that you guys went to and. But it's like she's on borrowed time now and it just. I don't know, it's like, now you have to decide between, like, she could possibly have a traumatic event. I don't. You're just. You're, like, making the hard decision of, like, I don't know.
A
No, it's an impossible place to be.
B
We talked to the cancer specialist, hopefully today, and we'll just like,
A
yeah.
B
It's so unexpected. Like, I thought I've been preparing myself for maybe Uno in the next couple of years because he shows his age and he is. I mean, Honey and him, they are like 10 year old dogs and they're big dogs. So, like, they have a shorter lifespan than small dogs. But it's just like, Honey is so young and smart and vibrant and, like, charismatic and like, she had a cancer once before, like three years ago, but they removed it. They removed all the margins. She's been cancer free. We're like, very on top of her vet visits because she's had cancer. But now the CT scan show it's like all in her lungs, in her mouth. And it's just like, how. From, like, two months.
A
Yeah, yeah. No, it's awful, but it's awful. And that dog has the best life. She has the best life.
B
She does, but it's like,
A
yeah, no, there's. I don't have anything to. Yeah, I have nothing come right now.
B
I'm sorry to, like, bring the mood down, but I didn't want to, like, be like, oh, like, I mean, you don't know. She could have another few days. She could have another few months. One of my friends had a dog that had cancer and they were like, this dog isn't gonna last two weeks. And she lasted two years.
A
Jelly's cancer had spread and was in her lymph nodes, and they couldn't find the fourth lymph node to remove it. And so it was throughout her whole body. And we had a year. We had a good year. It wasn't a bad year. We had a good year.
B
And so as long as she's, like, eating and happy and, like, having good days, then it's fine. But it's like, I don't know, talk
A
to the doctor about it because she went through this with her own dog as well, and he had a good, comfortable life at home, right? So talk to Dr.
B
I think he just got scared because she gave us that call. And then last night she didn't want to eat. But I don't know. They. She was on all this medication from, like, their assumption as to what it might have. They were trying to make her comfortable from the bleeding.
A
Yeah.
B
And then when the doctor found her, finding she's like, you can stop all that medication, but I don't know if, like, that pain medication was just, like, making her not hungry or making her. She ate this morning and she wanted to go on a walk this morning. So I, like, took her on a small individual walk, but it's just like,
A
it can cause nausea and it can make them not want to eat the pain medicine.
B
Yeah. But it's like, it's there and it's present. So no matter what, it's like this looming thing, and it's just scary for, like, I don't want her to be in pain, but I want her to live the longest she possibly can.
A
Yeah.
B
But she also had, like. Like, what's inside of her can bleed at any time, and it's like, if. And you can't predict when that's going to bleed, and you can't predict what sort of event it's going to be. So I don't know. I need to get better answers from the. The specialist. But I just. I didn't want to wait and then have the moment pass and then be like, oh, honeys. Because we talked about it on Shane's Patreon podcast when we were, like, at our most hopeful. Well, because the surgeon finally. And I'm. We needed that. In that moment, she felt. She was like, this surgery will be successful, and she still believes that surgery will be, but now it's located in so many other places that it's.
A
That the. The procedure itself is a moot.
B
It. Yes. Like. Yes.
A
Yeah.
B
That. That specific procedure could still be helpful, but is it going to. And that's what a cancer specialist will know.
A
Yeah. I also want to let you know that beyond removal, like, if they cannot fully extract it with margins, there are other things they can do, and they might even want to do both.
B
Yeah.
A
Because we. We did both, you know, for. And it. It really.
B
It prolonged her. And my thing is I will do whatever we can as long as her quality of life is good.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, as long as she's still, like. Like, wants to be, you know.
A
Yeah.
B
I mean, as long as she has the will to eat. The will to. If she's just in. I. I mean.
A
Yeah.
B
We'll see.
A
Yeah.
B
Sorry. I don't, like, it's so awful to, like, bring this to this. But then, like, if I ignore it, it's like. Then I'm just in, like, a weird. I don't know. I don't want to feel like I'm lying. I don't want to feel like I'm just like, oh, he's weird this week. So I just want to, like, say
A
it, you know, and whatever. Whatever works for you. Will follow your lead.
B
Yeah, I mean, I. And I, like, last night, I was like, should I cancel the podcast? Should I? But it's, like, sitting at home and just, like, crying isn't good for my kids. Isn't good for Honey. Like, even the vet was like, the dogs pick up on that. So I'm just, like, trying to be positive around Honey. I'm trying to, like, be happy, just cuddle with her, like, have a good time with her. Because I don't to want. Want her to freak out either.
A
Yeah.
B
And dogs don't take diagnosis like humans do. They don't. They don't know. So as long as their quality of their day is good, then they're still having a good day. Yes. And so it just sucks today. She's having a good day.
A
Yeah. Yeah. She's gonna have more good days. She is. I know that to be a fact. She's gonna have more good days.
B
But, I mean. And you've. I mean, it's just cruel. Yeah. She's an older dog. It, like, it. Life happens. It's just. I don't know. I do. I. It was so out of left field that I just. It was like, she was fine, and then she wasn't. And I've. I guess I've never dealt with this with my own dog. Like, yeah, I've had some childhood dogs. I've had, like, Teresa's dogs, which was like a. All of her animals got elder at the exact same time. But it's like, I still have my dogs that, like, started me being a pet owner as an adult, you know, Like, Uno and Honey were like. And Cheeto were like, my first children. They're, like, what signified me, like, as an adult.
A
And they love us even though we're not even good or fully formed.
B
Yeah.
A
And they love us with everything they have.
B
It's brutal. I just.
A
But, like, honestly, your animals live an extraordinary life.
B
They do.
A
Their. Their lives are full of love and joy. What other dogs can say? They've been on a private jet that many times. Like, what the. They Are living la vida loca.
B
Those dogs walk seven days a week if it kills me.
A
Yeah, we should. We get honey a jet that matches the jet she goes in that has jet.
B
This for a very specific amount of time when we were going back and forth from Colorado.
A
Okay.
B
This is why I don't do well at group parties.
A
Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to make it better. This is. I. I. And, you know, this is the one scenario where it's like, please call me, because I have worked on my relationships with every vet in the tmz.
B
No, I know. And. But I also. I'm aware of your movements in this. Like, when I did finally tell you, I was like, oh, no, we're going to your cancer vet. Because Lizzie was like, I'm calling them, even if I can't help. Like, I'm gonna say it's my friend, because, like, we've worked with her, and she's amazing. And I was like, we already are already in contact with where you went, because I know that's where you went. I just didn't want to. And it's not you. Like, Shane was like, you can call Lizzie, like, Lizzie. And I was like, I know I can call Lizzie. But, like, it was honestly too much for me, too, because I knew I was crying, and we had been crying like. Like that on Tuesday on your birthday.
A
Like, I hate to say it, but when you texted me that I knew. I knew immediately that something had happened and for some reason that it was about her.
B
Really?
A
Yeah.
B
Because, yeah, Lizzie responded. She goes, I think I have a. An inkling. And I was like, how?
A
Well, I didn't want. Because. I don't know. Like, maybe because I have an incessant anxiety about all things, but that was my first thought. And I. And to be honest with you, like, I don't have. I don't feel. I have. I have hope in my heart for her right now. I truly do have hope in my
B
heart for her right now. And that's going into the weekend. I was so optimistic. And we, like, were like, oh, this is. And then it was just like, the one, two punch on Sunday night of, like, us getting the phone call with the CT results and then her not wanting to eat dinner, and it just, like, my world came crumbling down. And I was like, but on Friday, I thought we were fine. Like, I thought we were gonna go into a surgery this week and it'd be over. Yes. Well, at least, like, we have another. Like, this buys us another year or two, you know, because she felt. And I, I'm, I needed the optimism. Like, I'm so glad because I, it was. And everyone that we've interacted with on this front has been so nice, but it's like everyone, A vet is a. People deal with animals passing every day. So, like, they have to. I don't. Everyone's been so wonderful to us. So.
A
And I, I, Unrelated to you, I just want to point out that vets have an incredibly up job.
B
Oh. It's the, it's the most demanding emotionally.
A
And they get screamed at by their clients more often than they get thanked.
B
Yeah.
A
And at the end of the day, they're the ones that are carrying our babies.
B
Try. Yeah.
A
And so I just want like everybody out there, like, if you're dealing with a vet, please just be nice to them. Be nice to the vet techs.
B
And it's hard.
A
Like, I, because those, I, I say
B
they're working 12 hour days. They're like, they're doing a truly thankless job and they're seeing humans at their worst because these things are so. Financially, it's crazy. It's like every, every move is another three, four, five grand.
A
And that's why I say we are so blessed to have the option. Well, that's what I never complain about it.
B
Yes. Yes.
A
Yeah.
B
And so, But I understand. It's such a. People are their worst because they're dealing with like potentially losing the thing they love most. They're being strapped financially because it's so expensive.
A
Yeah. It's, it's. All of. It's just devastating.
B
But, But I do want to have fun today. I, I, like, we'll, like, eat some fun food. We'll have fun. It will be a nice distraction. And you're worried that your mom crew doesn't think you're cool.
A
No, I was gonna say. I'm not, I'm not gonna say this other thing because it's not my business to share, but I had a friend really relay some information to me that's also crushing. And I did. I like, you know, I respond in kind and I'm there. And then my, my knee jerk reaction is always to pivot with a little bit of humor.
B
Yeah. I mean, thank God. Yes.
A
And so I was her, her information is pretty crushing. And I was talking to a friend about it and I was like, do you think I should tell her? Like, yeah, that's rough. But like, at least your house isn't haunted.
B
At least it's not filled with opossums, because a cockroach.
A
I'm this is something I haven't been willing to talk about.
B
What?
A
Because I don't like speaking power into it. Because I saw the skeleton key, and I'm pretty sure that if you believe that's when you get attacked. But it's getting really hard to deny the fact that there is something in my house.
B
And have you done your own advice where you say, no, I do not accept you, and you are not welcome here? Because that. That rings in my brain. Like, whenever I feel something that might be a spirit, I'm like, Lizzie would say, demand that it's not welcome here.
A
Well, a medium told me to say that one time. So I. In my practice, in my life, if I feel uncomfortable, like there's something and I don't want it there, I say, this is my space, and you are not welcome in it. No one is welcome here, but this is my space.
B
Are the ducks out there?
A
Are those ducks?
B
Those are ducks.
A
Oh, my God. Spencer was beating off.
B
Are they having a third?
A
I hope so. Good luck to them. No, but for years, I have felt something weird in this house, and I didn't want to talk about it, because if you talk about it, it makes it more real. And Joe has felt something in this house.
B
Do you think one of these men are welcoming them? Like, do you think James or Joe is like, come on in.
A
When you're like, no, I'm positive that Joe is. Because since we've had Billy and Billy's been able to talk, Billy will say hi to something that nobody can see. And sometimes he says, oh, bye, bye. And it's not.
B
You need to get the out of there. That's strike three. The opossum, the cockroach, and the ghost. It's three strikes and you're out.
A
I had to get a knife fight with a cockroach yesterday.
B
Like, it was like, I don't know that she had to.
A
You might have sour prison shower fight with a cockroach. It was awful. So Joe has started asking Billy, what do you see?
B
Oh, my God. This is the start of a horror movie.
A
I literally wrote a script about it that I couldn't finish because I was getting too scared.
B
You haven't even mentioned this to me?
A
No, I literally won't. Like, this is. This is what I don't talk about. So I told Joe to knock that off because it's too welcoming. I was like, we don't know what. Then Joe starts saying, what's its name? I'm like, we don't speak its name. When you speak its name, you give it power. And then I'm like, I don't even want to have this talk because this is giving it too much power. Because it's alluding to the fact that I believe and I don't believe in it. I don't believe in it. It's not real. And then yesterday I had had enough because Billy was scaring the out of me and we were going to be alone and I said, and he's just looking at whatever the. He saying hi.
B
Hi. Where? Like facing what?
A
Sometimes it's facing the back door, but it's generally in the living room. It's so. It's so you need to.
B
Oh, you need to.
A
I told Billy, I said, we don't say hi. We say go away.
B
You need to unweapons your house.
A
And now Billy literally goes, go away. Go away. And then I'm not kidding, we're sitting there and he started growling at it.
B
And you're sure it's not just another opossum in the couch?
A
No, because it's like up. Like he's looking at something and he's going.
B
So you need to start telling him how to say, you are not welcome here.
A
I know, but he can only do two words.
B
Cuz Bill. Or like babies and animals are more susceptible to like, welcome. Like if something becomes present to welcoming them in.
A
That's why I said, go away. Go away.
B
I've been teaching my kids to pray for honey name. And so you need to teach Billy to say, you are not welcome.
A
Well, he can literally only do two. Oh, I guess. Not welcome. We could try. Not welcome.
B
Not welcome. Yeah, yeah, that's.
A
Yeah, it's.
B
And what do your husbands think?
A
They both are like, Joe thinks that Joe's been talking about it for years. I'm like, I won't talk to you about it. So he gets mad at me.
B
Does he think it's friendly?
A
I mean, we've been there. Oh, fuck. I didn't even tell you the other part of it. I think it's been getting stronger because we've started to just talk about it because Billy's talking about it. And the other night we're both in our bedroom and there's a loud sound. And honestly, in my heart of hearts, I thought Joe had dropped something. And I was like that I hate him. And then the next sound is, something's walking in our room. And it was so real that some like that. That I could not go to sleep.
B
It wasn't a baby.
A
It was not a baby. It was the middle of the night my kids don't get out of their cribs, One of them can't even walk.
B
Loser.
A
And our floors creek. It was definitely. I'm, like, dying right now. It was the creek of somebody walking through my house. So I. In my mind, there's a home invasion. I. I hit Joe. I go, did you hear that? And he goes, I was really hoping you didn't. He's already awake. I said, well, you're gonna have to go spiritual.
B
Did you both away.
A
I was like, well, you're gonna have to go look into that, because there's either someone in the house or, you know, and then he goes. And I'm realizing that just left without his gun. And then I'm just laying in the bed thinking, like, I can't grab the gun. I can't hold a gun.
B
If Joe walked back in, you'd be, like, killing him.
A
Yeah.
B
Because you think he's the one.
A
Yeah. Joe and I actually have had extensive firearm safety conversations, considering how afraid of a gun I am. So if I am in charge of grabbing a gun, I've been inst. To never point it anywhere but at the ground.
B
Okay.
A
Because. Well, in. Home invaders. Keep scrolling. This isn't. This isn't for you, home invaders. If you're a home invader, I'm pointing my gun at you.
B
I mean, there's two men in the house that will point it right at you. So.
A
Yeah. But I've been instructed if I'm in charge of grabbing a gun again, this is not for you, home invaders, to shoot it at the ground, because that's enough to scare somebody out of your house. Unless you're in my house, and I'm going to shoot it again.
B
LA laws are crazy, too. Like.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Yes. Like, unless you. You're actually threatened by the person that's already in your house, you're not actually allowed. Like, you. Oh, no.
A
I know.
B
It's wild.
A
Yeah. And the other thought I had is like, damn, we have our guns in such intense lock boxes. I couldn't get to it.
B
You don't know how to work.
A
Yeah, I don't know how to unlock my phone.
B
Did you see one of the Sprouse brothers that story?
A
Yes.
B
What a badass.
A
What I'm. And he loved doing it. Did you see him on the red carpet, like, the next day, talking about crazy?
B
He was like, his home was invaded. He tackled the person, and then held called the police and held the robber at gunpoint until the police arrived to his house.
A
He took care of business. Those Kids are scrappy as hell.
B
I'm going to protect, I think his girlfriend or his fiance or his wife. He's like, no, I'm not the one you're going to be robbing today. Tackled him with his body.
A
Yeah.
B
I wouldn't get close to. I would, like, grab a gun, but I would not be tackling a robbery.
A
This. Do you know about this Brass Twins?
B
I mean, I don't know.
A
They are terribly interesting.
B
Really?
A
Yes. Like, they really are. They come from an, like, a gnarly working class family. Those boys worked, but, like, to pay the rent at a. Like, their child actor gigs were to pay the rent.
B
Wow.
A
And after they, like, graduated and became adults, one of them even took a step out of the limelight and I think opened a brewery and, like, ran like, a brick and mortar business for him.
B
So they're respectable kids.
A
Yeah. And then they, you know, they tip top. They tip tap. They tiptoe and dabble back in acting together. But, like, they're really interesting guys.
B
Wow. Yeah, I was so impressed by that. I just thought, what a way to protect your family.
A
Yeah. Is that the same one that smoked cigarettes on the Caller Daddy podcast?
B
I have no idea.
A
Because I made fun of him for that. And I take it back, if that was you, why did you make fun
B
of him for that?
A
It was a lot. It felt like he was putting on,
B
like, I'm a bad boy.
A
Yeah. To be honest, like, you were just considering.
B
You literally have a headline in this document that says you're considering doing the same to impress your mom for friends.
A
Oh, yeah. I sent it to my new mom group. I sent a text, like, a couple weekends ago. I was like, I'm having a rough day. Does anyone want to meet at the park and smoke cigarettes in the bathroom?
B
Silence.
A
No. They were all like, God, I would love to. I was like, girls, I was kidding. I like, I can't smoke cigarettes.
B
I was hypnotized.
A
I was hypnotized. It wasn't a choice. It was for work. But now I feel like I have to smoke cigarettes again. So they think I'm cool. Gotta maintain an edge.
B
Wow. All the pop girls are doing it. It.
A
It's like cigarettes are coming back. Where were you got. Where was this energy four years ago? You vape losers.
B
You vape losers.
A
No. Everyone thought I was gross. And now you're all doing it.
C
Cool.
A
When I've decided to quit smoking and
B
start living, sometimes I do, like, I. I hate what cigarettes are, but every once in a while, like, when a car Drives by and I get the little whiff of a secondhand smoke.
A
I'm like, the rub of a cigarette is the first one hits well and then the other ones, you're just a slave and it's killing you.
B
Right.
A
And you're paying for it. And that's the crazy part that I can't get behind.
B
And I just hated the social aspect of it. Like, when I was in high school or college, we were in Colorado and It was negative 5 degrees outside, and everyone's like, taking the party outside to smoke for 15 minutes. And I'm like, why are we all freezing our asses off? Let's go back inside.
A
I loved the social element of it.
B
Yeah, but you didn't grow up in negative 15.
A
And my favorite place to smoke a cigarette is Arizona on a summer day, which is insane.
B
Wow.
A
I like a cigarette in a gutter. Like, I want to sit on the sidewalk in 110 degree heat while I have a touch of COVID and just smoke a cigarette in the gutter of Arizona. Like a dry heat with a touch of COVID That's my favorite kind of cigarette.
B
Wow. Well, thank you to SeatGeek for sponsoring today's podcast. We love you so much. SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app, and that's because they have over 35 million downloads. And that's for a good reason. It's because there's 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, from concerts to sporting events, music festivals, comedy shows, Broadway shows, things like Monster Jam. You can get every kind of ticket on SeatGeek. And there are a lot of people on tour right now. If I open my phone and just scroll through their app. Ariana Grande, Morgan Wallen, Demi Lovato, Chris Stapleton, Zach Bryan, Olivia Dean. Who, like, I can't stop listening to on Spotify, by the way.
A
Olivia Dean.
B
I'm obsessed with her.
A
The only thing I know about her her is that I think of you when I see her name. I know nothing.
B
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A
Oh, yeah. Shall we? Shall we? All weekend I've been asking this about what he thought of the Michael Jackson movie.
B
I don't give reviews to Elizabeth anymore because I have been burned.
A
It's not my fault you like Spencer. It's not my fault.
B
If I tell her anything I think about a movie, good or bad, it's always reversed and put in my face, like you said. And if I'm telling you the truth
A
here on the podcast, you didn't like Spencer that much.
B
I enjoyed Michael.
A
Okay. That's all I wanted to know.
B
And Devil Wears Prada. Fine. Yeah, it's do it. Like, the audience score is technically better than the first one, but I think that's just because there's so much nostalgia around the first one and everyone's excited to like, sit down and consume a second. And it's definitely worth a watch because. But it's where it was tricky for me is that there we're like, started like 15 small storylines because we're trying to get every, like, we're trying to make sense of bringing everyone back together.
A
And then it's.
B
Except. Yes, exactly. And the new love interest, it's like we could have left it out. And then the movie's over and we're like wrapping back around to like put a bow on the love interest thing that they started in this movie, but, like, nobody actually cares about. And really Anne Hathaway was just being a. To him the whole time.
A
Shocking.
B
Or Andy. I shouldn't put it on Anne.
A
Andy Hathaway.
B
Andy, definitely. Like, if you love the first one, you're gonna enjoy watching the second one. But like, a lot of things just don't make sense. Like they're, they're all like now 20 years later, but the power dynamics are the same. Like, Andy comes back. Or like, I'm just gonna say their real names. Anne Hathaway, like, comes back and like, like in Meryl Streep's Orbit, and Meryl Streep, like gets in her fancy car and was like, take the train home to Andy. And it's like she's like an accomplished, award winning journalist, should just get an Uber.
A
Like, you know, take the train.
B
So she takes the train home. Weird Massacre or like Vogue is like struggling and so they make Miranda Priestly flying in coach to Paris. And it's like they would never. And. And even if they did, she would upgrade it with her own money. She's like, Anna wintour like, she's so rich. It's crazy, you know? So there's just, like, a lot of things that I'm like, it was an enjoyable watch, but, like, you could wait until it comes on streaming, to be honest. Unless you just want to have, like, a fun moment out at the movies.
A
All the moms went, and I was gonna go, but then I got scared to leave Joe alone for bedtime. And also, I just. I'm in some weird chapter of my life where I just want to hang out with my husband. The is that. Do you know that I've called him, like, three times since I left the house?
B
Really?
A
And I asked him to sit in the bathroom with me while I got ready this morning.
B
What's he doing differently?
A
I just like him a lot. He's just a little sweetie petiti. I love him. I feel bad. Yeah.
B
That's nice.
A
It's crazy. Am I ovulating? Check my ordering.
B
Check youra ring.
A
I don't know how.
B
What did the moms think? They loved it.
A
They thought it was so fun. They said it was plot light and fun. Done.
B
Yes. I mean, they started 18 plots and, like, barely finished any of them.
A
Oh, God. Why? No one's there for the plot. Joe and I did watch the first one.
B
I think they could have picked one. Yeah, I think they could have picked a plot.
A
Joe and I ate chocolate cake and re Watched the first one.
B
And honestly, you don't even like cake. Who are you?
A
I know. I didn't like.
B
You don't like you're eating cake and hanging out with your husband.
A
He got a guy. He got a cake that I like.
C
Wow.
A
I like a chocolate cake with chocolate mousse fill, like, in the middle.
B
There's one of those at my house right now.
A
Shut up.
B
Well, when we were in the height of our sadness, Shane ordered Suzy cake last night. Night. And one of them was the chocolate on chocolate delicious.
A
But is it chocolate mousse or chocolate icing?
B
Oh, I don't know. You'd have to inquire with my husband about that one.
A
Should I ask?
B
I don't know the difference. On frost. Like, I don't like.
A
Leave me alone. He's like, do you know what I'm going through right now? I'm like, no, no, no. I do know. Which is also what brings me to my next question. What's in that cake? What's in your sad cake, Shane? Okay, so you enjoyed my co.
B
Yes.
A
What's the vibe of it? I mean, did you see Elvis?
B
It's more it starts early childhood to, like, super stardom. And then we stop because they're doing, like, a. To be continue.
A
So we stop in the 80s.
B
I don't know. I enjoyed it. Yeah. What else is on your.
A
Well, I hate to do it, but somebody's got to.
B
Okay.
A
Northwest Drop a song.
B
She did.
A
Yeah. Maybe an entire album.
B
I don't know. You better be careful. You are sponsored by skims on, like, an 18 deal, and they pay well, so. And I love skims, so, like, maybe you shouldn't compromise this deal for you.
A
I'm not gonna compromise it. I have something very important to say in defense of Ms. West.
B
Oh, okay.
A
I think she has. I think her confidence is incredible and beautiful. I think that she has a flair for fashion where she has taken her life experience and her travels and things that she likes and cultivated a vibe that is unique and consumable.
B
Okay.
A
Which is pretty cool.
B
Yeah.
A
And I think that she does it all with her chest with 10 toes down.
B
Yeah. And I will probably give that to Kim Kardashian. I bet that mom does tell her kids, like, if you dream it, you could be it.
A
And honestly sleep. Yeah.
B
Which is something I think is very important because I do think confidence in life will get you far. And confidence is fake. I mean, it's. It's real. You can feel it, but nobody knows, you know?
A
Yeah.
B
So it's like, I don't know. Instilling confidence that you can achieve what you want to achieve into your children is beautiful.
A
Yeah. And also, when I was a little girl, I used to, like, color my hair with markers and do henna tattoos on my hands and put safety pins in my ears. And, like, teachers were like, is something wrong at home? And I was like, yeah, but that's not why I'm doing this. This is because I'm a total vibe.
B
Yes. And.
A
Yeah. And Mr. Matlock, I think purple hair is cool. So I really don't love the narrative that you have to be, like, traumatized and in a bad place to want to be creative about your look. And I think that that really squashes creativity because I remember being, like, literally 12, the age of Northwest, and people talking about what I wanted to do with my hair, which is not permanent.
B
Right.
A
And, like, I have piercings in my ears. I wasn't self mutilating. I was just putting an interesting item in it.
B
Right. Which a lot of people were doing with their butts anyways. Behind closed doors, period.
A
We know what's been there. I will only talk about what you've Publicly admitted to already, which is a
B
toothbrush and a drumstick. Okay, so who should we be concerned about? So who are we concerned about, really? The girl with safety pins with holes that were already in her ear?
A
Quiet kid who's shoving toothbrush things up their butt? Thoughts and prayers. Not even his own toothbrush. Check on him, Mrs. Whatever your English teacher's name was. So my point is, I think we need to start deciding that if kids want to be like, creative with their look, shut the up. Because who cares? Because there's so much other that you're making me accept from adults today that I am not down with with. So if we're going to do that, then we must also do this.
B
And we must respect you because you're in a gorgeous butter yellow Ralph Lauren sweater.
A
Thank you for noticing. My stepmom sent this to me so I could match my children.
B
I love it.
A
Isn't that a good gift?
B
It's a really good gift.
A
It's totally my personality now, so. Yeah. So I just wanted to say justice for Northwest and I still find her insufferable.
B
Okay.
A
No, I just did that. I just said that to be funny. I'm just being funny.
B
Skims don't take away your brain.
A
I'm just being silly. I'm in a silly goofy mood. I love it. I love all that.
B
All right. Barry. Kila again.
A
No, no. Pete Davidson.
B
What about him?
A
Pete Davidson and his baby mama are. They have a four month old. They had a kid in December too.
B
Wow.
A
Which, like. Let's just take a moment.
B
Should he be at the park with us?
A
No. Only because I've said not kind things about him on the Internet.
B
I know that's coming back to bite you in the ass in many ways. Yeah, it truly is. I wish we could go into it, but we can't.
A
No, we won't.
B
We will not.
A
But I will say this, Pete. If we meet in a Mommy and me class, I will be kind to you because that is a safe space. And it's okay for you to be vulnerable, my guy. One thing I would not do, though, is have a baby in December or procreate with Pete Davidson. That's just one thing.
B
I would thank you for your warnings.
A
No, I think he's great. Oh, it's so hard.
B
The positivity.
A
It's so hard. Hard. But I will say so. They have a four month old. And what do they say? People close to the source. Some One of their friends is snitching on them for stories, which is annoying. But there's somebody out in these streets alleging that they are. The couple is struggling emotionally. And I just wanted to say, like,
B
yeah, they have a four month old.
A
Yeah.
B
Well, that's what I like, even anytime Lizzie ever, like, if you like bring up an annoyance with Joe, I'm never like, joe's horrible. I'm like, this is such a hard stage of life.
A
Yeah.
B
Like you guys, you know, and like, they probably do love each other, but it is, it is hard to make it through.
A
It's impossible. Because most people kind of don't.
B
You can't read other people's minds. Like, you know, even Michelle Obama's always like, I hated Barack for this first 10 years our kids were kids.
A
Wow.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah, I get it. And. And like a lot of people are like, don't make any big decisions about your relationship within the first two years of having a child because it's hard.
B
Hard.
A
Yeah, it's hard.
B
Really hard.
A
I mean, so I just wanted to bring that up so. Because I know a lot of people watching are like expecting or have children or young children. And I just want to be like, if you feel like your relationship is struggling, like, it's okay to hate your husband and still love them with every fiber of your being.
B
Yeah.
A
And that will pass. And one day you'll find yourself eating cake that you hate and watching a movie that you don't want to watch and enjoying yourself.
B
Yeah. And I do think the two year old, I mean. Yeah, it's just a really. It's a testing time.
A
Yeah. It's truly impossible. And I think more often than not we get stuck in the rut of scorekeeping and how much am I doing versus how much are you doing? And you don't have this instinct. And it's like, of course they don't have the instinct. Because if we both have the same instincts, then evolution did us dirty. Somebody's gotta be going out and bringing food home and the other person's gotta know how to take care of the baby.
B
Yeah.
A
You can't both do both.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
So I also wanted to say they announced that their daughter's name is Scotty. Love that name.
B
I actually do too.
A
For a little girl.
B
Wow.
A
Really fucking pretty cute.
B
Yeah.
A
I was like, damn, do I have a daughter named her Scotty? And just neglect the fact that Ernie's middle name is Scott.
B
Wow, that is cool.
A
I don't think I've ever told anybody.
B
You can cut it if you want to. I don't care.
A
Whatever. We'll move on. Nobody has to do extra work around here. Not in this. Not in these climates. It's gray outside. I have a beard.
B
It was like. It was blue this morning, and then the gray. Or was it not in the valley?
A
The valley's been really on.
B
When I, like, came over the hill, it was getting grayer, and I was like, what's going on?
A
What's going on, you guys?
B
All right.
A
Okay. Barry Keoghan.
B
Yeah. I don't know how to say his name, but I think I did it, man. I know him.
A
I think I did it really good, though.
B
I know him. Thanks to Sabrina Carpenter, actually.
A
Oh, really?
B
I wouldn't know him otherwise.
A
Oh, I think he's a super classy actor, but I did not realize how his life is like stained glass.
B
What do you mean?
A
That's a nice way of saying, I think he comes from a broken home.
B
I mean, most artists do.
A
Yeah.
B
I mean, and. And Sorry.
A
No, you go.
B
I was think, what's Taylor Swift's trouble? You know what I'm saying? Like, if you. You're gonna go. You're gonna go to a biopic for Michael Jackson because, like, you're like, what is this?
A
Well, he was horribly brutalized by his father, right?
B
Yeah. And they. They document that in the movie. Or like, a lot of these big, huge pop stars have, like, Britney Spears, like, they have tortured pasts. What's Taylor Swift's drama?
A
I mean, I love that Taylor Swift is normalizing, not having that kind of trauma.
B
Yeah.
A
But she might tell you that her trauma is Kim Kardashian and heartbreak.
B
Yeah, heartbreak feels good in a place like this. Saw her twice this week.
A
I'm so jealous. Joe and I are probably. We want to go this week, but I don't know if we're gonna make it because we have to finish our Patreon video.
B
It's coming. Like, that's happening.
A
Do you want a little sneak? Do you want a little sneak?
B
What's the little. What do you mean, a little exclusive? So Lizzie is making a docu series, or is it a one part episode?
A
It's a one part episode. It was gonna be three episodes, but at the end of it, Joe and
B
I realized, like, this is one episode.
A
This is one episode.
B
And it's about.
A
It's a long episode, though. It's really 35 minutes.
B
So you guys are still actively working on it? Oh, I haven't checked in in a little bit. She is making a documentary. I guess if it's one episode, It's
A
a mockumentary about the.
B
Well, the most Insane drama that's happened in her.
A
Look who's making a cameo. Can you believe?
B
Well, here, how about this? We will. We will roll the trailer at the end of this segment.
A
Oh, it's not a trailer.
B
Oh, what is it?
A
Hold on. I just. It's. It's. I just have one little funny sound, but bite. But I have to pull up the clip that Joe sent me. And we text a lot. Cuz we're married. We were never meant to be. Islands long before phones or headlines. Our stories traveled mouth to mouth, whispered at Wells.
B
So if you're looking for this kind of petty drama brought dateline episode in a dateline format.
A
It's totally made up, fully fabricated. Nothing's true about it.
B
Our Patreon is. It's literally right real.
A
To a homecoming of whispers.
B
Oh my God, you have a title card.
C
Let's give them pumpkin to talk about.
A
I got my own Keith Morrison.
B
Oh my God, like so many small town dramas. Do a scrap of a video, a rumor, and a town with nothing better to do than pass it along. Okay, you need to send that clip to Chris or is that the whole episode?
A
No, no, I mean. Well, I can't. It's not a clip, it's the whole episode.
B
Oh, okay.
A
It's a draft. So Joe's doing. Joe goes in and puts all this B roll in and then I kind of finesse it and then he does another round.
B
All right, that is coming to the Patreon along with we film our day. That we film the sip. Like we vlog. Like coming together between eating after eating and then we have like fun added extras like last week or. You're not in that. Sorry. Me, Morgan, Brooke, Shane and my mom all tasted like Susie cakes. Entire me menu.
A
Oh, cool.
B
I just haven't had a chance to turn it around because my week's been.
A
Listen, that's super relatable. I also am posting images of my husband scrotum on the Patreon if anybody
B
wants to see it.
A
Oops.
B
What did. How is his scrotum even out? Lizzy went live.
A
Did I do that?
B
Like we'll sporadically go live on the Patreon and she. She texts. I didn't know she was live because we like used the same username.
A
Yeah.
B
And so it doesn't notify me because I'm in the same account. But after I was like, do you want to repost this live? So I'm like going to repost it. And Lizzie was. Goes, well, his balls were in it. And I was like, how Is he even in a position where his balls are available to be seen on a live stream? O, it lives on. It's up.
A
It's live. So how. Well, okay, so.
B
And I go, do you want me to delete it? She. It's fine.
A
Who cares?
B
My nipples are there. His balls are there. It's a great place to be.
A
It is what it is. No, he has a scar on his leg that I was trying to show everybody, but I did. I only showed his balls, apparently, which, you know, what a really easy mistake to make.
B
Simple.
A
Super.
B
Happened to anyone.
A
User error.
B
You know, not wearing underwear.
A
I know. He keeps saying that. His ball. There's no way. And it's just like, well, then explain this.
B
How big are his balls?
A
And explained that he's got huge balls, which is honestly also explains a lot. Lot.
B
Okay, well.
A
Oh, where. Why were we talking about Barry Keogan at all?
B
No idea.
A
Oh, he did the Benny Blanco podcast and he came.
B
Such a good format.
A
Such a good format.
B
Really. My hat's off to them.
A
Truly.
B
My hat is off.
A
I am living, loving, laughing every clip I see. But I haven't tuned in for a full episode. But I wanted to say Barry Keogan was talking about how nasty the Internet was to him. Him.
B
And in regards to just being ugly. Yeah.
A
And it's like, I don't think he's that ugly.
B
No.
A
Isn't he a model?
B
Which is also. Yet it's like, maybe he's just too interesting for you guys. Yeah, I. I think, like, also when you have an interesting look, you can unlock that to be your superpower, which is what he's done, even if he hasn't tried to do it. But he's like, an esteemed actor and probably model for, like, high fashion.
A
He's also a sober king.
B
But it's just like, you guys. No, especially, like, you even, like, in the Meghan Trainor situation, like, people would always comment negatively about her weight. So she, like, gets on Ozempic and gets snatched. And everyone's like, but you are our plus size anthem. And it's like, well, you. You guys were bullying her in her comment section for years to a point where she finally broke and was like, I can't take it anymore, so I'm gonna give you. You know, it's just like. Just shut up.
A
Just shut up.
B
Just shut up.
A
Shut up about people's looks. Yeah. Unless we're talking about how cute we are.
B
Just let people look.
A
Let people look cute.
B
Okay, you don't know anything about this next story, and we're already at 103 minutes.
A
Oh, so I don't get to ask the audience about it?
B
Okay, you can.
A
What the is up with Alabama Barker and Neon?
B
I have no idea who Neon is.
A
Neon's a streamer. But like, what is this?
B
What is it?
A
What is it?
B
What is it?
A
No, I'm asking what is it?
B
I know. She goes, spencer, what is this? And he goes, I don't know who Alabama Barker. And it's. And she's like, with Neon? And he's like, well, I know who Neon is, but like, how do you
A
know who Neon is but not Alabama Barker?
B
He's a man.
A
He's a fucking weirdo.
B
Oh, Neon or Spencer?
A
Spencer. I would never talk about Neon like that. No, this guy Neon is a streamer, which I guess means that he's just like, live all the time. And he went on a date with Alabama Barker or something, and they went with live. He gave her a Birkin bag, a $50,000 blue Birkin. And they're just live streaming in Alabama's house. And like, Courtney's off camera and she's like, can you get me a Rice Krispie?
B
She eats rice Rice Krispies. They're probably like, not Rice Krispy Rice Krispies.
A
Who knows? Courtney Kardashian, she probably makes her own marshmallows.
B
It's probably like marshmallows with zero sugar.
A
I have horrible news for you.
B
I have a booger. Yeah, I could feel it.
A
Oh, no.
B
The whole episode, was it.
A
I don't know. I just noticed.
B
I'll kill myself.
A
I know, I know.
B
You don't need another reason.
A
That's why I said it was horrible news. I'm so sorry. Maybe if you picked your nose like I do, you wouldn't have this problem.
B
Okay, well, that seems like a sign to go.
A
Oh, it really does. Damn. I'm so sorry, sir.
B
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A
And it's so easy to use. My dog did it.
B
Really?
A
Yeah. Mr. Bubs built his own website with Shopify.
B
All the merch is being sold on Shopify.
A
Yes.
B
Period. And if people have never heard of your brand or you're starting from the ground up, Shopify helps you to find customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. And if you ever get stuck, Shopify is always around to help with their award winning 24. 7 customer support. With Shopify, you can tackle all those important tasks in one place. From inventory to payments to analytics, and so much more. Everything with Shopify is in one place, making your life easier and your business operations run smoother. So it's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify to today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today@shopify.com the SIP. Go to shopify.com the SIP. That's shopify.com the SIP. Okay, SIP. We are going somewhere. I selfishly just want to go for myself. We are going to hi Ho, which you're going to want to kill me for saying this. It's technically viral in la, right? Yeah, I'm not. I'm not even getting.
A
It's viral. It's viral. It's spreading like Covid out in these streets.
B
Well, because they're always like everything's viral. Which like we are guilty of doing. But actually if you're in la, you have heard of hi Ho and they just opened a location in Calabasas. Have you been before? I've never been, but I know it's
A
Sofia Vergara favorite cheeseburger.
C
It literally says on their website it's the best burger in California. I haven't tried it. I've been craving it. I haven't had a good burger in forever.
B
I couldn't be more excited. I think too a little Elizabeth. There's one in Sherman Oaks, right?
A
I've done been to HIHO a few times. They got pastrami fries, which I'm gonna get pastrami fries. But I'm gonna say hold the cheese please, because I'm Dairy Light. I've always identified as Dairy Light.
B
No, you said dairy. Okay, we can testify. There's so much evidence when you say dairy free.
A
Yeah, well, forget you.
B
In the past couple of weeks you haven't eaten with us in the past couple weeks. It has shifted to dairy. Dairy light.
A
Her husband still thinks that's a real friend.
B
Her husband still thinks it's dairy free, though. Like, I encountered him and he's like, no, she's dairy free and it's really working.
A
And I was like, you have to stop playing. The story makes me feel so bad.
B
It makes me feel really bad. When are you gonna tell him that you're dairy light in front of him?
A
Non stop. I'm not cheese. I eat. I'm like, what are you doing?
B
All right, we're gonna make our way over to the comments and go to hi ho. Hi ho. Big news. It's in, like, the same location as a cheesesteaks place that Spencer has been very excited about. But unfortunately, I will not be trying that today because he's dairy.
A
Like, today.
B
No, I'll be eating a cheeseburger. Well, that's something. Well, we'll probably do that on Shane's Patreon. I think they've been wanting to do that. So just check that out.
C
Oh, is this it?
B
This is it.
C
Whoa. Oh, I'm so excited,
B
You guys. A win for hi ho. Pebble ice. Pebble ice. Chris didn't get you pebble ice because he knows you don't want to ice,
A
which I appreciate more than anything about Chris.
B
But now that you know it's pebble, does it change you have on your lip? No. No, it's okay. You see it?
A
Yeah. Is it a bug?
B
It's crazy. Is it a bug? Oh, I think. I think a bug did get trapped in your bee pollen. No, it's a bug.
A
Yeah, it's a bug. I caught a bug. Like, what am I, a car?
B
It just seems so loud in general. But maybe it's not. Fine right here.
A
Let's ask him to turn the water down.
B
Honestly, I think the water might be louder than the music. Have you really?
A
Yeah. When we would go to neighbor markets, you asked me to turn the waterfall.
B
Okay, don't act like I'm a super, Karen. Nobody was there. Not one person was there. If we all, like, come a little closer. Elizabeth, you want to switch? We should switch.
A
Last time Ryland and I were here, we saw Tristan Thompson.
B
That's pretty good. I didn't. You did.
A
I know because I couldn't tell you because you're never cool.
B
Oh, I love a ketchup bottle like this. Don't worry about it.
A
I shaved right here.
B
Thank you. This one?
C
Yes.
B
Okay, perfect.
C
Oh, my God.
B
Thank you. Oh, My God.
A
Oh, my dick is so hard right now.
B
Oh, my God. These fries are crazy. This is the banana. Just so I remember my friends. Seriously.
A
What?
B
It's too hot?
A
No, it's so good.
B
The presentation of this has my mouth watering. It looks so incredible. Even the grilled cheese and the fries, they look crispy.
A
Waiting for that review is actually, like, torture. These so hard.
B
The hell?
C
What?
B
The fries. Oh, wait, really?
A
Yeah.
B
The fries are that good?
C
They're really good.
A
It's absurd.
B
They're the perfect amount of everything. Of everything. No notes?
A
No.
B
Literally, I don't even have a. I don't have a sauce on this bite, and there is no notes.
A
It's going to pop so hard with ketchup real fast.
B
Let's take some thumbnail pictures. I'm just going to hold the whole tray up. Perfect.
A
Okay. Spencer.
B
A burger maybe.
A
Right?
B
Okay, our food review can begin now that I've gotten our thumbnails. All right.
A
The ranch. Herby, crisp, clean, delicious.
B
I mean, this burger looks just incredible. Yeah, it looks fire. Spencer was saying it's bad. I know that this exists. They have, like, Shake Shack patties look like they're done better.
A
I like the ranch with the ketchup is way better, actually.
B
Really?
A
Yeah. The ranch I really got for the chicken.
B
Sammy, the thoughts. That's very good.
C
I think the fries are a little
B
better, but that's still, like.
C
Everything's still fire.
B
Better than the burger. Yeah. I'll need it right now, so thank you very much. Okay, well, I've got to try the. Can I have yours?
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, my God. The fries are just. And you can tell visually how good their fries are.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
C
Oh, and the ranch. Really good. But the fries are incredible by itself. You actually don't even need a sauce.
B
But these are, like, visually a little different than most chicken fingers you run across in the wild. Good.
A
Yeah, I ra do it. No, ranch. It is good. Their version of Thousand Island Russian. Also good. I am going to dip this in the ranch, though. I think it's going to be even better. It's a little spicy.
B
I'm excited to try this fruit. I guess we can cut this in each in half and we could all have a piece of that as well as the chicken fingers.
A
All right.
C
I'm gonna make it like a New
B
Orleans place, so it must be, like, from there or something.
C
I don't know.
B
I'm gonna try to get everyone in for a grill. You're not. Oh, Lizzie's Dairy Light. Well, then we're gonna Lead you out of the shop.
C
Okay.
B
This ranch, by the way, has no dairy whatsoever.
A
Dairy light. Bitch.
B
Are we wanting any like sauce in this?
A
So close.
B
Or are we just raw doging it? This feels like a raw dog or a ketchup. I'm different. A ranch. I want ketchup.
C
I want to raw dog the first bite.
B
I mean, it tastes how it looks.
C
I would say, honestly, it's simple. It's good, but it's just simple.
B
It's simple, but it's simple. Done right?
A
Yeah.
B
I think my kids would love this. Yeah, it has a nice, like crisp to it. I'm gonna put this on here.
A
I prefer you cut it on the floor.
B
What are we dipping this in? Oh, it smells incredible. Ranch, I mean. Okay, I haven't bitten this yet.
A
Let me know if that's spicy, Ryan.
B
Okay.
C
Are these the same?
B
Yeah. Well, what do you mean? As in the sandwich.
C
I guess one honey is one. You know what I mean?
B
I think I got all honey.
C
Oh, okay.
B
I didn't see regular. It just kind of said honey tenders. Good.
A
I am so happy.
B
Wow. The breading is nice. I would say it's not traditional.
A
It's like a tempura.
B
Yeah, that's a good way to put it. And the chicken is quality. It's not like a funky piece of chicken. Wow. And it is glazed in a honey, which is very unique to them.
C
This is like. You couldn't mistake this for another place.
B
Even though I think they're using it other like it's literally named after another place. Wow.
A
But we've never been there, Spencer.
B
I know.
C
I haven't either, but I'm. I just.
B
What would you rate the chicken sandwich?
A
Great. I think I like the Popeyes sandwich
B
a little bit better.
A
No, I don't think that's true. They're too different to compare.
B
The fries also are not comparable to anywhere.
A
No, the fries are. They stand alone.
B
I would come here just for the fries. All right. Chris and I. You know, this is a Chris and I camera now. Cuz we haven't tried our burgers. I got the. The standard hi Ho double. I opted to get it spicy style, whatever that means.
C
I got the Maddie double and I don't remember what that is anymore. He said something that maybe it doesn't have ketchup.
B
It's the same thing. It doesn't have ketchup. It has the sauce.
C
Oh, okay. Thousand island instead of ketchup.
B
That's why I want their own version of Thousand island in.
C
Instead of trying Sophia Brigadas. Favorite.
B
Favorite. So beautiful. It really is she an investor? No, I just saw a video of her.
C
What's that burger?
B
I like? I hope juicy. It's light.
C
It is burger.
B
Yeah. It's like a light bite. It's like light and airy and fluffy.
A
Fluffy.
C
I need another bite.
B
My bun's like fluffy and it goes good way. It's a pretty unique burger. I would say it's comp would be Shake Shack, but it's just better. Yeah, I think that's a good comp.
A
This is one of Joe's favorite burgers.
B
Really?
A
Yeah.
C
I think this is delicious. I gotta say, I wish the bread at the bottom was like more toasted or something. It feels kind of like raw.
B
Raw bread. I was saying fluffy is my deter. My.
C
It feels raw and fluffy.
B
I kind of. I get what you're saying. It's almost like a little doughy.
C
Yeah. It also made it a little messy
B
because it kept flopping out. Yeah.
C
But the burger is delicious. That's so far my only complaint.
B
It kind of works for me, though. I don't. I kind of. Because I like that this is crispy. I almost like the like potato doughy bun. But I understand the criticism.
A
The want for something more substantial physically. But truly, I like my little goo er.
B
The amount of spice is just right for me too. It has like. It's not spicy to be spicy. It's like flavor spice. Yes. Well rounded.
C
Seasoned to perfection. Delicious. It's just a bread for me.
B
Wow. Haven't found a thing I don't really love about it just yet. How do I fit us all in this frame? It's not possible. Huh?
A
Am I in?
B
Yeah, you're in. Kind of. You kind of in. So what was the most embarrassing thing that happened to everyone today?
A
Today I'm having an embarrassment free day kind of so far.
B
Knock on one.
C
You guys sing that car.
B
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You're projecting more so about the color than we were. I'm just kidding. He's insecure about the color.
C
I am. I am.
B
I think I agree with sp. It's so much more fun than just having like a plain white car. Which, like, I have a plain white car, but it's fun to have a color.
C
No, you're right. I'm insecure. These are my insecurities.
B
The ranch is good.
C
Overall, this is incredible.
A
Yeah. Oh, my God.
B
It is dangerous that it's so exceptional.
A
I'm about to start beating off with one of these french fries.
C
Right?
B
You got what I was saying? It's not problematic. What did he say? That was inappropriate. I did an impression of the beloved Sofia Vergara. A tastefully done. And here she is talking about beating off in public.
A
The two are not comparable.
B
You're right. Yours was worse. You're in the wrong. Elizabeth.
A
The comments are gonna agree with me, so good luck to you.
B
Really? I feel like you don't have a strong history.
A
Okay, I don't read the comments anymore. So as long as I say it, it feels true.
C
That's a good strategy.
B
It's the only way to say authentically yourself on the Internet.
A
Truly. Wow. The ketchup is even good or am I starving?
B
I think both can be true.
A
There's space for both.
B
I don't know how they do it. How are they doing fries? Like nobody else is doing fries. I always forget. I don't know. I would say that goes with fries or like if five guys fries were cooked longer.
A
Yes.
C
Yes.
B
It's still not even close not to say it's bleed.
C
I think it's cuz it's the same similar frying process that gives them this interesting tempura batter. I think it's probably that's happening in the fry.
A
Here's the interesting thing about tempura. It's not necessarily that it's fried differently. It's that the batter in itself is different.
B
Is this tempura though? It looks like. I thought tempura is more fluffy. I wonder if they use like rice flour or something like that.
A
I'm making some pork a cod when I get home tonight for dinner.
C
That sounds good.
A
It's gonna.
B
You know how to fry things?
A
I mean you just put oil in a pan.
B
I would say the easiest cooking bit. Wow, I'm. Sounds too bold to me. Like it sounds like I'm gonna lose an eye or something.
A
It is scary.
B
I'm not.
A
It's scary. It's scary. I'm not gonna pretend I'm like I'm not a hero for doing it.
C
Thank you. Thank you, by the way.
B
You're welcome. I didn't mean to. I meant to say that earlier. Thank you for frying fish.
A
Truly. I cook for you, Spencer, but it'd be a huge mess at your house afterwards.
B
I just agreed to let my friends do a hibachi on your dad.
C
A hibachi night on my deck.
B
Wait, it's already happened? No, I just agreed to. Oh like the contract's been signed. You're hosting the Party? No, I just said, yeah, all right, fine. We can do it. Are you gonna design the patio by then? No, it's next weekend. Oh, no way. I'm that done.
C
But that's almost better because I don't
B
want to watch you my stuff with, like. No. Yeah. A rolling hibachi. Don't people get, like, really drunk? BYofC bring your own clothing chair. Yeah, literally. I think she's setting it up. Her whole thing was she's like, I don't think Benihana would let a big group of us in. I was like, the only people that go to Benihana are big groups. Yeah, literally, it's like a group of 10. It's like, they for sure can handle. But apparently she wants to do this, and I. So I've now agreed. Is it her birthday?
C
No, her husband. Okay.
A
So you're not the other man.
C
No, no.
B
And do you still have friends in town or. A friend in town? Oh, yeah, she works. I think she's still in town.
A
How long is she in town?
B
Did you show her the world?
C
I can show you.
B
Well, did you? I guess. What did I show her?
A
Yeah. What did you show her?
B
We went on.
C
Okay. We went on a hike.
B
To where? The observatory. All right. Nice.
A
You should take her to travel Town.
B
My kids love it. Is that where all that little train is?
C
That would be kind of awesome. I do want to go to that
B
train museum over there. It's cute. Not that bad, but it'd be interesting.
A
Wow.
B
I remember what I was gonna do.
A
I seem to be out of French fries.
B
You want me to get another fries?
C
That's too bad.
B
We can get more.
A
Oh, no, I'll eat this chicken first. Thank you. Oh, no.
B
Have you had a bite of that yet?
A
Yeah, it was my whole sandwich.
B
Oh, all right. Do you like their chicken better than the burgers here?
A
No, I just knew that I wasn't getting cheese on whatever I was ordering.
B
Oh.
A
So I didn't want to do the burger for that reason. Yeah. Like, a burger without cheese is like, you know?
B
Yeah.
A
Like, I didn't go to the prom just to suck at D. You know what I'm saying?
B
What? You go for the dress and the hair. You got a fresh creatine treatment for it. Was that a thing in high school? No. Wish it had been. All right, I'm gonna finish eating, and we'll be back. This is banana. This is key lime pie. I'm not a key lime pie girl, but I will give her a fair shot. Oh, my God.
A
That's So kind of you.
B
I know.
A
Can I talk? I don't think this place is set up for a client yet. They need to put the silverware out where we can reach it. They have no salt. What is this?
B
Well, maybe they don't want random people coming to steal all their.
A
But then they have to have random people coming up to the window being like, let me get a spoon.
B
Well, okay. Let's see how the pies are. Are. All right, Chris, do you want to scoop some onto your plates or a plate? You're gonna have to dig in there deep. I think the top's just foam. What would you call it?
C
I think whipped cream. Right.
A
Period.
B
Got it.
C
Oh, that's a good bite. A little bit of everything. All the layers.
B
Oh, yeah. Take a bite. Shouldn't. Wait.
A
Are you a West kind of guy? Are you sneezing or dying? I'm gonna be so honest. You.
B
I thought we were going to lose
A
Spencer for a second, right then I have a stroop. His eyes were like.
B
He was really working it out.
C
It's really good. At first, I was like, oh, no. Is it not that flavorful? But the longer it was in my mouth. Oh, there it is. Oh, there. I like it. I like it.
B
That's what she said initially.
C
That's what she said. It took a second to hit spicy.
A
A tiny bite. Oh, a dainty bite.
C
I'd like some peanut. Not bad.
A
It's not bad, says Spencer.
B
Let's get into this.
C
For me, it took a minute. The first bite, I was like, oh, no, there's no flavor. But then as it sat, I was like, oh, it got really good.
A
Right. I think you need to go towards the middle. All right.
B
Yeah, I'm gonna get a bite with the goodies. No, I think I'm more of a. I think I have a snow.
C
Oh, Oh, I see.
B
I see. I would say it looks like more crust than lime, which might be good.
A
There's definitely dairy in this.
B
Well, what do you expect?
A
Oh, my God. It was so hard.
B
I like it. But do you know what I mean about a key lime pie? It's like a sour dessert. Yeah, you're the lemon king. Lemons aren't for dessert, though. Well, yes, they are. No, I. I take it back. I love my lemon dessert. Why do I like a lemon dessert more than a key lime dessert?
A
Can I go back into this with my own fork? With my spoon?
B
It's yours? Yeah.
A
Well, it's ours.
C
You may.
B
Oh, I thought that was yours.
A
It's for our friends.
B
All right, it's yours. All right, Chris. Very honored to be a legion. Yeah. Just a knife.
C
Is that crazy?
B
I do like that it's not structured like there's crust everywhere and the pie everywhere. No, it's layered, but, like, there's multiple layers. So it's not just like the crust is at the bottom.
A
I'm big on crust.
B
Oh, me too.
A
Pies need more crust.
C
Yeah.
B
Yeah. Oh, my God. I am. Oh, yuck. Yup. You don't like the banana cream?
A
No.
B
You straight?
A
Yeah.
C
So you're both on opposite.
B
Are you gonna try this one? No, you're not. This is team no banana cream. Whoa. You were just. You don't like the other one. I tried it.
C
I'm not gonna try it.
A
We're lesbians.
B
We don't eat banana. One more time.
A
We're lesbians. We don't eat bananas.
B
Exactly what I thought.
C
This side of the table. Key lime. And this side of the table is banana cream.
B
I mean, let me try it. But yes, typically. Did you try. Try this? Do you want a little more before I stick my spoon in?
A
Oh, no.
C
Oh, no.
B
It's.
A
My close partner came in. So sorry.
C
That's okay.
B
I wasn't gonna eat it anymore. You know, I have to say, I didn't enjoy it.
C
It's good, but it's definitely not the best banana cream pie I've ever had. Not even close. It's good, though.
B
I still like it. Yeah, it's good.
C
It's not bad, but I've had way better.
B
I'm happy with it.
C
Kind of the same about both. That.
B
They're just okay.
C
Yeah.
A
I concur.
B
I don't know. I could. This banana. I could sit on my couch and take this out.
A
I'm eating the whole thing.
B
If only there was a good show on television.
A
I know. Have you started watching the Elle Fanning show?
B
No. Have you?
A
No. Have you?
B
No. Have you? No.
A
Have you? No.
B
No, I haven't. Wow. What show do you think is going to be good? Not Euphoria. I haven't been back.
C
That's confirmed.
B
Perfume that. It's terrible. I don't know. I like. I disagree. Euphoria season. Whatever. Sucks.
A
I'm in an entertainment. A mom in entertainment, like, chat group.
B
And this one mom just piped up.
A
Is anyone participating in the masochistic act of watching Euphoria? I was like, I tried my best. But after I saw Hunter getting her thighs sniffed while some guy beat off, I decided I'd had enough of Sam Levinson making women into human trafficking in the butt of their joke.
B
Is that, like, episode two? I didn't even make it that far.
A
No, it's like episode four or something.
B
You made it to episode four?
A
Yeah.
B
So you saw the wedding between Sydney and Jacob?
A
I didn't. Oh, I couldn't. I can't. I can't really watch it because it truly is upsetting.
B
I haven't watched it, so I wouldn't know.
A
He's like, watch this woman swallow drugs and die. Watch this. And now we're gonna make fun of her for doing it. And, like, let's watch this woman sell her body on the Internet to support herself, and then we're gonna make fun of her for doing it.
B
But he gets teen culture because he tried heroin.
A
He was a teen.
B
Okay, you guys, well, this is about high hope, not euphoria, so I thought it was delicious. I will be back. I had a great time. I honestly, selfishly came here because this is where I've been wanting to go, period. It is viral, though, in case you're wondering. When you come to la, this is viral. Don't you forget it. All right, you guys, well, thank you so much for watching the sip. We all love you girls so much. I'm hoping you have a great week, and we'll see you next Wednesday. We love you very much. Goodbye. And that's.
A
Oh, and that's it.
B
We're being shy because we're in public. There's like. We're surrounded by tables.
A
It's like when Ramon saws.
B
People's name was Ryan. Ryan.
A
Who's this worth? Ryan?
B
I do that every time we're in public ordering. My mom's name is Corinne, and she always says Karen. She's like, I don't want to deal with spelling my name out for somebody who's about to just yell it out loud.
C
The way we said goodbye just now felt like trying to be gay in Bakersfield. I just need you to know. I just need you.
B
I have no reason to ever go there. Bakersfield, okay. That's where we store our cows.
C
California.
A
No. Huh?
C
They're all there. It seems like.
B
I like the concept of a cup pie. Me too.
C
All right. Goodbye.
A
But you're still rolling? Yeah.
B
This is what I'm talking about, dude.
C
Yeah, that was weird.
B
I didn't have time to copy. I was holding the camera, and then I was eating.
A
You had that.
B
Everybody was being vulnerable and real.
A
What is this?
B
That's what this show is. It's being vulnerable and real.
A
You haven't told me multiple times to not be real. This is for the camera.
B
I'm being performative. She said, I've told her multiple times to not be real. I don't know if they could hear you. Well, should we. Should we just keep going, then? What?
A
No. Get out of here,
B
Sam.
Episode: Tasting VIRAL Foods in KARDASHIANS Neighborhood with Spencer!!!
Date: May 6, 2026
Guests: Spencer, Chris
This episode blends the show’s trademark pop culture gossip, parenting real talk, and offbeat humor with a highly anticipated viral food tasting adventure. Ryland and Lizzie, joined by friends Spencer and Chris, give listeners a peek into their lives and friend group, dishing on everything from viral LA burger joints, group parenting dynamics, and celebrity hot takes, to heavier moments like pet illness, over-sharing on Patreon, and haunted house stories.
The main theme is balancing life’s chaos—parenting, finances, friendships, and internet culture—while seeking comfort in good food and each other.
Chris’s New Car Drama (01:17–05:10)
Butter Yellow Fashion (05:39)
Birthdays & Parenting Realities (06:26–13:52)
Ghost Stories & Kids Seeing Spirits (37:09–43:11)
Home Security & Celebrity Home Invasion Stories (43:11–44:54)
Pop Culture and Parenting Takes (48:01–59:14)
Pete Davidson’s New Dad Era (56:07–59:14)
Barry Keoghan’s Internet Bullying (59:29–65:46)
Food Segment Begins (69:00)
Food Impressions (71:03–80:21)
If you want relatable parenting chaos, real pop culture analysis, home-grown ghost stories, and a group of friends who keep it 100 through bad months and great burgers—this episode of The Sip delivers all of it, fries included.