Tasting VIRAL MCDONALDS Secret Menu!!!

Summary

The Sip with Ryland Adams & Lizze Gordon

Episode: Tasting VIRAL MCDONALDS Secret Menu!!!
Date: February 25, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, Ryland and Lizze dive into pop culture gossip, parenting woes, viral foods, and the everyday ups and downs of adulting. Centered around their mission to try a “viral” McDonald's secret menu item, the duo also discusses family dynamics, trust in social media trends, mental health, and the realities behind celebrity and parent life. Their characteristically candid banter serves laughs and relatable moments, often blurring the line between joke and genuine vulnerability.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Manifesting ‘Greatness’ & Life Updates

• The hosts start off by joking about manifesting good energy, with Lizze proclaiming, "I'm never not manifesting greatness. I noticed 11:11. And I thought, health, wealth and prosperity for me, my loved ones, period.” (00:46)
• Ryland chats about a tough week, Lizze's parenting exhaustion, and how being a parent or a dog owner is "absolutely flows" but can easily fall apart.

2. Parenthood, Pet Chat & Medical Issues

• Lizze shares Billy (her child) has another ear infection and may need tubes:
  • “So this is the third and three and a half months, which means we're looking at tubes…Cause you know that boy loves to swim.” (05:39)
• The two joke about things their moms had to deal with as kids, laughing at the forgettable details of their own childhoods.

3. Clips, Chin Hairs & Going ‘Viral’

• Lizze gets jokes from family over a chin hair highlighted in one of the podcast clips, and Ryland reflects on the challenge of “going viral” versus just being the talk of private group chats:
  • “They're just like, I'm going viral within my own community.” (12:50)
  • On chin hairs: “I'll grow them out again and we can. I'll. I'll show you.” (13:01)

4. A Date Gone Sideways: High Tea at The Peninsula

• The pair recount a recent Beverly Hills high tea that went awry, feeling slighted by the staff and getting “stale sandwiches.”
  • “Honestly, we got treated like a couple of gay Latinos. Chris, it was crazy.” (14:14)
  • The comedy continues as they compare their tiny table to “a machete, like, literally just cutting into our shoes.” (15:08)

5. Modern Adulting: Toxins, Dish Soap, and the FDA

• Ryland and Lizze lament that every household product is said to be toxic now, discussing the impossibility of 21st century “safe” living.
  • Lizze: “We have literally an organization in place to protect us. But, like, they literally don't do anything to protect us because all they do is listen to the lobbyists and then they make all of us feel like monster…” (24:51)
  • Both confront the environmental guilt of using paper plates, laundry detergent, and even Ziploc bags.

6. Mental Health & Professional Efforts

• Ryland talks about a big audition: “For a big part. So it's very dialogue heavy. And because it's a part that could be right for me, I really did dedicate two entire days to this…” (31:10)
• The friends celebrate work for the sake of work rather than results, reflecting on ambition and the hustle mindsets of acting and writing.

7. Celebrity Gossip: Hilary Duff & America’s Next Top Model

• The release of Hilary Duff’s album—on her estranged sister's birthday—is discussed for its drama and pettiness:
  • “Hillary Duff dropped a new album on her estranged sister's birthday, which is a little petty.” (45:15)
• Lizze quips: "And then there's a song on the album that's low key about her sister." (45:41)
• They highlight a new docuseries on America’s Next Top Model, unpacking its problematic history:
  • “This explains why I hate myself.” (51:59)
  • On Tyra Banks: “Everyone's dragging Tyra to filth. And I understand. But there are a couple layers to this…” (52:02)

8. Viral McDonald’s Secret Menu Tasting (Primary Segment)

• Beginning at [66:08], the crew heads to McDonald's to attempt the “Big Mac Quesadilla” viral hack.
• They struggle to order (tortillas aren’t available), cobble DIY versions in the car, and joke about the whole process:
  • “I don't think I can execute. Even I have the self awareness to know that I can't accomplish what I'm setting out to do right now.” (66:08, Ryland)
  • “Can. Can I get the knife, please?” "Yes. Thank you. How did it get red? Did something spill here?" (85:03+)
  • On taste: “That is one of the better fast food items we've had in a very long time.” (78:31, Ryland)
  • But the viral menu item is underwhelming: “It's just—the burger is better.” (86:02)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Family Virality

  • "I got a text from my aunt Patricia's sister in law…She said, thank you. I saw a clip of your chin hair." (12:05)

• Viral vs. Real

  • “If you clicked on this video to find a secret menu item, you got tricked your stupid ass. You idiots.” (70:20, Ryland)

• On Parenting vs. Celeb Moms

  • “She is a little bit better than us just because she's got billions of dollars. Okay? But no, she's also asap. Rocky on a red carpet where he's like, I didn't wait this long and work this hard to have kids where I then have help. And I just was like, you have help. Hear you. But there's just no way.” (60:25)

• On Social Media Double Standard

  • “Well, what's so funny is every person that you talk to for rep, they're like, well, what's your social media following?...But then you go in as a person with a social media following, they're like, oh, we just don't take you seriously in this realm. And it's like, well, what do you want?” (36:56, Lizze)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

00:46 Manifesting and affirmations
05:39 Ear infection/kid health chat
12:05 Family/clip going viral, chin hair story
14:14 High Tea at the Peninsula fails
26:40 Eco-anxiety, toxic household product discussion
31:10 Ryland’s audition and career hustle
45:15 Hilary Duff’s album drama
51:03 America’s Next Top Model docuseries critique
66:08 McDonald’s viral secret menu order attempt begins
78:31 First reactions to the food
85:03 The verdict on the Quesadilla hack
87:05 Brief K-pop tangent, wrap up of tasting
89:11 Observing TikTok teens at McDonald’s

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Tone & Style

• The episode is fast-paced, comedic, notably self-deprecating, and unfiltered—with much of its appeal coming from the duo’s willingness to lean into cringe and chaos.
• They mix in vulnerability about their lives and parenting with lighthearted takes on pop culture and internet trends.

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Final Takeaways

• The “viral” McDonald’s secret menu trend is more entertaining in theory than execution—the food was fine, but nothing beat a classic cheeseburger.
• Social pressures, both online and from celebrity culture, are impossible standards—whether it’s going “viral,” keeping a clean house, or parenting without help. The hosts encourage honesty and realism.
• Pop culture obsessions—from Hilary Duff’s family tea to reality TV’s problematic past—are dissected with humor but also a critical eye.
• Enjoying the process is more important than chasing results—whether in careers, family, or even just trying a viral food hack.

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For listeners who missed the episode: This one is classic Sip—funny, self-aware, and lightly chaotic, it’s packed with real-life venting and pop-culture tangents. It delivers on the promise of tasting a viral menu hack but, as always, offers much more in the way of candid conversation and unfiltered friendship.

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For best moments, check:

• Manifestation chat (00:46)
• High tea mishap (14:14)
• Family going viral (12:05)
• America’s Next Top Model docuseries discussion (51:03)
• McDonald’s viral hack attempt (66:08–86:00)
• Parenting vs. celeb help rant (60:01+)

Transcript

[A]

Oh, that was bad. That was one of my worst moments.

[B]

The mom. Spencer, we're going there.

[A]

You can spot an alpaca tiktoker from a mile away.

[B]

This is your cancellation. It's knocking on the door.

[A]

The shake machine is working today, period. Well, then you're stupid. Can you guys just be a little.

[B]

Can I just eat? Are you joking? If there's one thing about me, if I'm irritated, I'm gonna remember,

[A]

Hey, should we start, like, manifesting greatness so we can be on the same page? Oh, my God, she's the luckiest girl in the world.

[B]

I'm never not manifesting greatness. I noticed 11:11. And I thought, health, wealth and prosperity for me, my loved ones, period.

[A]

Chris and I are included in your loved ones?

[B]

Yeah, that's why I said loved ones instead of immediate family.

[A]

Oh, that's what it normally is when you're not in.

[B]

Usually it's what the thought is.

[A]

No. You know, I think we could take a deep breath together. All of us just let go of the shit.

[B]

What shit?

[A]

I mean, nothing. I'm having a great day. Me too. No, I had, like, a week where I was really going through it when I was just texting you. Like kids.

[B]

I hate.

[A]

We can't have kids. Kids need to go. The kids need to exit the show just because every. Like, you know, if you're a parent, you know, it absolutely flows if you're

[B]

a parent or if you have a French bulldog, you get it, you know?

[A]

Like, lately it's been flowing at my house. A week and a half ago, we weren't flowing at my house. And, you know, sometimes I swim against the grain when it's not flowing just to make it harder for myself.

[B]

Do people say swim against the grain?

[A]

I do.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Period. So I sent Lizzie a photo or a meme. Something on Instagram. I was active for the first time on Instagram ever last night. And watch out if you know me. I was sending Chris messages. I was sending Spencer messages.

[B]

Did you bring dirt?

[A]

What?

[B]

Did you bring dirt?

[A]

Oh, yeah. I was going to have you guys eat dirt because I feel vindicated. I'm not sure that I should elaborate as to why, because Chris is like, he's down.

[B]

We should elaborate as to why. I think he's out at himself. You said the shit he was doing was pretty gay.

[A]

Well, I've just assumed for my whole life that an actor's gay. And then I was with Kristen Spencer, and they're like, he's not gay. And I was like, that, man, Is gay. And I was like, google it. So Spencer Google's it. And he's like, there's no evidence that he's gay. And I'm like, you don't need evidence. He's gay.

[B]

This is how people used to talk about you.

[A]

I think this is also why, like, bloggers used to get canceled, like, outing people. And here I am. That's why we're not saying names. Wow, this is a bad way to start an episode. Me, like, outing a gay man? Yeah. Which you were like, we should elaborate. I wasn't going to elaborate. And now I have a fear.

[B]

No, you've done a great job. No, you didn't elaborate. To Close to the Sun. Nobody knows who we're talking about. It could be literally anyone in Hollywood.

[A]

I mean, yeah, literally every actor is gay as hell.

[B]

Gay.

[A]

Like acting is gay.

[B]

Acting is gay.

[A]

So gay.

[B]

I'm just, like, saying gay like an asshole. That's so much.

[A]

It's not. Okay, so there was a meme I sent Elizabeth, and it's like, me showing all of my friends the cute pictures of my kids. And then the kids come in and you're like. And she said, me with my French bulldog. And I said, so you don't like your French bulldog?

[B]

No, I love him.

[A]

That's not what you were saying off camera two and a half seconds ago. Who are you saving face for?

[B]

Him. He watches, he hears, he knows.

[A]

Icarus.

[B]

Don't drop his name like that.

[A]

Close your ears, Icky. What's going on?

[B]

I just got a video of my kid.

[A]

Okay, don't send.

[B]

No, he's eating sketchy.

[A]

I thought he was at the emergency room.

[B]

Yeah, so did I. And then I get a call while I'm pumping with Spencer, and I'm like, hold on, Spencer, turn it off. I'm trying. My new case is really hard to press the button I showed you.

[A]

It is crazy.

[B]

You know what I'm dealing with. You know the hell I'm living in.

[A]

And that is that brand's karma for never sponsoring either of us. They have phone buttons that don't work.

[B]

You know what? Since you never sponsored us, I'm gonna drop your name. We'll always take a sponsorship. Always. No, we will always, But. And I love the case. I love the case. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

It's like, so unpushable.

[B]

Unpushable. But it's so cute and it's so protected.

[A]

So when I work with them, I'm just gonna be like, we gotta get buttons that work better, mama. Yeah, girl, I'm Roc. Like the one that you get at the iPhones at the Apple store. And it has this ugly. Like this is a beautiful.

[B]

Why is it white?

[A]

That's what I'm saying. It's a beautiful navy blue phone.

[B]

Beautiful.

[A]

And Apple had to ruin it by like putting this white.

[B]

Why did Apple do that?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Are you sure?

[A]

It's like I can go out of my way to order a new case. Absolutely not.

[B]

Watch me destroy the whole thing. Trying to take the white part off. No, you can take it right off.

[A]

I was discovering a lot on Instagram reels last night. I was laughing hard and I was like, oh, this is why people get addicted to Tick tock. Yeah, it's like crazy.

[B]

And then I was like, this is a drug.

[A]

I need to get out of here.

[B]

I'll set a timer for 20 minutes and then like reset the timer for 20 minutes until it's been four hours. And then I'm like, oh no, where are my kids? Just kidding. I haven't done that since pre kids.

[A]

Okay, so Billy's not at the emergency room because I thought.

[B]

No, urgent care, not emergency room.

[A]

Oh, that is different.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Yeah, you thought they were going nuts over there for you and you were like, I gotta clarify.

[B]

Oh, calm down. No, Joe wanted to take him to the urgent care. Billy has another ear infection. So this is the third and three and a half months, which means we're looking at tubes.

[A]

It sucks.

[B]

Cause you know that boy loves to swim.

[A]

I don't want to make light of how serious tubes are.

[B]

Why?

[A]

But I do just want to say she did in fact, tell me again this weekend. It's teeth.

[B]

No, it started his teeth.

[A]

Okay. It's a teething.

[B]

Anytime he has any sort of additional mucus, he can't drain it on his own. So when he teeth, he gets runny nose.

[A]

So it's like post nasal drip to the ear instead of the throat.

[B]

So if he, if he teases, he gets it. If he gets a cold, he gets it. If he gets the flu, he gets it.

[A]

Is he still in swimming class?

[B]

No, we took some time off. We took December and January off and February off. Because of having a newborn. Yeah, but we were going to go back. I literally ordered a swim diapers yesterday.

[A]

So he's gonna have to get tubes.

[B]

Probably.

[A]

I had tubes.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You keep so many secrets.

[A]

I mean, it's like you were a secret.

[B]

I mean. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you never told me you were

[B]

a C section baby. Yeah, I was gonna say.

[A]

I don't remember these things. They're. They're things my mom had to deal with.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Who cares about me? I don't remember it.

[B]

The things my mom had to deal with.

[A]

Well, you know, Billy's never gonna remember. He's just gonna. You're gonna.

[B]

I'll make sure he rem to take

[A]

you to get tubes. Yeah.

[B]

No. I love him so much. It's just such a bummer. He's so. He's so brutally miserable that we decided to take him to urgent care today instead of making it to his appointment tomorrow because he's. He's truly so miserable. And, like, his ears are, like, oozing.

[A]

I just.

[B]

Love.

[A]

I was just trying to decide what was on your face. I don't. I thought. I thought it was an eyelash.

[B]

No, no, no. What is it? No, no. Get it.

[A]

I didn't know.

[B]

Get it off my face before you make a reel about it and I start hearing about it from distant.

[A]

You loved the real privately. You. She was so mad. No, it's not my face. It's a tiny piece of. I. It's a tiny piece of mascara. I thought it was an eyelash. I was just gonna help you out.

[B]

No, you weren't. You were gonna let me look like an idiot this whole time.

[A]

You still don't see it? I can see.

[B]

I just can't.

[A]

No, there's a tire than that. There you go. Oh, you almost got it. I know that. So aren't you glad I saved you or are you just gonna text me all weekend? You better blur my. Don't you want to save you.

[B]

When this bitch was like, I'm not gonna tell you. It's okay. It's okay.

[A]

What?

[B]

You were like, I'm not going to tell you. That's my you voice.

[A]

Well, because now I'm worried to tell you about something going on on your face because you literally open with, there's

[B]

something on your face, but I'm not going to tell you.

[A]

Well, I was. Well, no, because I was rudely staring. I was like. Like, yes.

[B]

You had to explain.

[A]

And so then I was like, okay, listen.

[B]

I wasn't going to tell anyone, but it smells in this direction.

[A]

It does it? Yeah, I just got. I was late. I showered so good.

[B]

Weird. That's weird because it's smells.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It smells a little bit. It's like a little hint of like.

[A]

This is why I wanted to just start with a manifestation that we're lucky, we're blessed.

[B]

And then. And then with your second step, you decided to say Something.

[A]

Okay. And I'm just you. Then I'm not. I'm. I'm that friend that's going to tell my friend. But if you don't want to know,

[B]

you literally said, I'm not going to tell you. Let's rewind it and. And then this is it. Make this in black and white and then do it in slow.

[A]

I'm not gonna tell you. I was just trying to decide what was on your face. I don't. I thought. I thought it was an eyelash because I don't want. I didn't want to start drama. Now there's drama. Okay. How was your weekend?

[B]

Really lovely.

[A]

Good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm happy for you.

[B]

Thank you. Me, too. We had a great week. We had a lovely weekend. And then. Oh, no. A devastating Sunday.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Well, do you want to rewind back to Friday?

[B]

Just the ear infection thing started on Saturday night, and then Sunday was a nightmare. Billy, did they call cps? We watched Pineapple Express with Billy, and I think he really enjoyed it. Billy's big on, like, communal laughter, so if, like, we're giggling, he's giggling.

[A]

Yeah, it was pretty cute. We watched. We discovered some show on Netflix called Trash Truck. Oh, sorry.

[B]

Sounds just as good.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, Just as good.

[B]

What is it just a trash truck?

[A]

It's just this boy whose best friend is a trash truck.

[B]

What a loser.

[A]

And there's a bear and a mouse and a raccoon.

[B]

Okay, that's cute.

[A]

And, like, we're wondering what's happening next, too. It's a kid show, but, like, we're invested, too.

[B]

For real?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, is it good?

[A]

It's pretty good.

[B]

What's the drama? Is it, like, heated rivalry? Is the trash truck in love with a recycling truck, but they can't, like, let each other know because they're on different routes?

[A]

Do you want to rate the show?

[B]

Should I. I don't know, call me Netflix. I'm a great writer. Is okay.

[A]

So you and I had a date. Our first in probably three months.

[B]

Much deserved.

[A]

Maybe more than three months.

[B]

Desperately needed.

[A]

We were just like, the two of us need to get out and have fun. Although you're quick to replace me. If I don't reply to Lizzie within five minutes, I am replaced, period. She also wanted to hang out this upcoming week. And she goes, sorry, it took you too long. And Different Curls already taken the slot.

[B]

She's geographically closer to my house, too. No, Joe's working on Wednesday, so I am scared of being a. Of being alone with both my children, so I Wanted to go somewhere with them.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It feels safer to like go to another parents house with two.

[A]

Yeah. Where it's protected, you know, set up for danger. Yeah.

[B]

And so I hit you up in Cara and Kara replied first.

[A]

But Kara, good for you, Kara. I hope you enjoy her. She's a real joy to be around.

[B]

Kara never says nasty things about my face.

[A]

So people were hitting you up from your real personal life?

[B]

Yeah, I got a text from my aunt Patricia's sister in law.

[A]

So it's resonating with your family. Resonating the clips from our podcast.

[B]

Hold on, let me find it.

[A]

Yeah, take your time.

[B]

I literally sent a message because, like there was a loss in the family and I was like, I'm so sorry for your loss. I really enjoyed this person. She said, thank you. I saw a clip of your chin hair

[A]

period dying.

[B]

Can you believe that shit? That makes me laugh so hard. I was literally sending a condolence text and she's like, saw your chin.

[A]

And here Lizzie is. For months. She's like, we really need to start doing clips. And I was like, I don't. I can't take clips on. I can't do clips. And then like, these are our clips. But what I'm trying to say is like, that is what our clips become. And then it's like, those aren't making us go viral.

[B]

They're just like, I'm going viral within my own community. I wonder if there's like multiple family group chats. Did you see Lizzy's chin hairs? There's two. There's two. I can't believe she doesn't just pluck them with the fingers. No, she thinks they'll curl.

[A]

And that was. That was really the craziest takeaway that she was adamant that fingers couldn't do the job.

[B]

I'm going to listen. I'll grow them out again and we can. I'll. I'll show you.

[A]

No, I will show you.

[B]

No, I'm not letting you plug my. Then pluck one of yours. Pluck one of yours.

[A]

Pluck them all the time. It makes. It makes Shane mad all the time.

[B]

Show me.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Pull one out. Show me. Pull 100 out and show me the roots.

[A]

You want me to just shave in front of you?

[B]

See the housemaid, Chris.

[A]

No, don't give a spoiler away. Oh, I heard the spoiler, like, is the gig of the movie.

[B]

Right?

[A]

So like, don't give it away. I won't.

[B]

I will say I.

[A]

I'm an actor now.

[B]

I'm in that whole movie, and it could have been really fun, but he made it pedestrian. Okay, where.

[A]

So where's the chin? One of your productions.

[B]

Where's the chin? Har.

[A]

I would love to work on one of your productions.

[B]

Pull out one.

[A]

I. I'm always.

[B]

What's so crazy is now you just have a bunch of really curly chin hairs. Wild. Stupid.

[A]

No, I literally. Can I do it all day?

[B]

Yeah, I've seen. I'm watching you literally do. There it is.

[A]

There it is.

[B]

Oh, God. That one was coming out anyway. No, that one was rotten and ripe for the pickin.

[A]

So we go to it at the Peninsula.

[B]

I can't believe you do that all day.

[A]

Well, no, Shane hates it the most when I go like this in the podcast mics.

[B]

Yeah, I hate that too. Joe does that. Like this. It's like, well, then shave it. If you can't handle it, shave it. So we went to the Peninsula, and honestly, we got treated like a couple of gay Latinos. Chris, it was crazy.

[A]

They did to us what they did to you on Valentine's Day. Yeah, they were like, they're gay. Put them in the corner. They can't be seen here.

[B]

No, they were like, blow out their candles. Put a tablecloth over their heads.

[A]

You know what make this dining experience challenging for them, period. Put something at their shits. Shins. So they can't relax.

[B]

As a matter of fact, break their shins.

[A]

But is it this tiny table where, like, where your shins are is a table the size. Equal size to the table?

[B]

Like, literally just like a shin. A shin height. Like, and it's like the ridge of it was like, what are those? A machete? Like, literally just cutting into our shoes.

[A]

Like, there's nowhere for your feet to go. So, like, my legs are like, I

[B]

had one foot out in the alleyway. Like, I had another one just behind, flipped up behind my head.

[A]

And they put this girl that was by herself for 30 at an entire couch. At an entire couch where she was just by herself. And we were like, yeah, is this because we're gay?

[B]

And then. No, literally. And then, guess what? They brought us stale sandwiches.

[A]

And we love the Peninsula.

[B]

We didn't go to the Peninsula.

[A]

We were rooting for her.

[B]

We love her so much.

[A]

And she rubs you. It's like $350 for two people to enjoy high tea.

[B]

Crazy expensive. So the fact that they brought us stale bread sandwiches is wild.

[A]

And might I.

[B]

Like, if I had been a little bit more postpartum, I would have gone around and checked everybody's Bread.

[A]

We were there first, too. Yeah, we showed up early. We got Princess parking. God was on our side. He said, you guys need this. You don't need to valet. No, no. You get Princess parking right in front

[B]

of the hotel right here.

[A]

And we go in, we check in 15 minutes early.

[B]

Like, we're in Beverly Hills. Like, this is the land of the gay.

[A]

You would think they would be pro gay, period. But they were not. No, seemingly.

[B]

Honestly, I think the problem was I looked poor.

[A]

Oh, because you didn't have any makeup on.

[B]

I had no makeup on. No. I have no supposed to. Hair eradication.

[A]

I just was checking.

[B]

You're such a stinky, like, fish. That's what you smell like.

[A]

A little bit.

[B]

That's a little fishy. Just a little fishy.

[A]

It's just like, she's lying on my name.

[B]

No, it's literally she's trying to damage my brand. Which is crazy because he sprayed Tresemme in his hair. So all I should be smelling is.

[A]

No, I spray Tres.

[B]

I can fucking see it on your desk. I'm not an idiot. I'm a sleuth. I'm connecting context clues in the world and jumping to conclusions.

[A]

I can't believe you could connect those clues and moving so quickly. You ran in here screaming at Spencer. How did you take a moment to look over to your right.

[B]

I really hate Tresma. So if I see it, I'm irritated.

[A]

And I.

[B]

If there's one thing about me, if I'm irritated, I'm going to remember,

[A]

is it something we're not allowed to have? Have you seen those real, Like, I know everything has toxins, but when I was watching this guy shop at Target saying, what you're not allowed to have. I have every single one of the things that you're not allowed to have.

[B]

I know. Paper plates, too, huh? God, such a bummer.

[A]

And the only paper plate. And the problem is the, like, the replacement for all of these products are things that give me the major ick. Like, instead of having like a wonderful paper plate, you have to have like the cardboard one that like. Like the touch gives me the chills.

[B]

Is it cardboard or is it bamboo?

[A]

They both give me the.

[B]

Oh, and you. If you use the cardboard one, when you cut on it, the cardboard comes up and then you're eating little dots of cardboard.

[A]

Forget that. It's like just touching it gives me.

[B]

What am I supposed to do? My dishes? Get out of here.

[A]

We're new parents.

[B]

It's like cancer dishes. I don't know. No, it's Definitely going to be dishes. I'm going to let you know. I. Oh, I was going to go dark, but it's all definitely worth just using dishes.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it's a lot. We've got to change out our laundry detergent.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We've got to change out our paper towels. Toilet paper is allegedly killing us. Yeah. Has a lot of dyes. I haven't checked into my brand specifically, but I'm sure my brand specifically.

[B]

Joe ordered fancy toilet paper and it's in a box by our door. And he has.

[A]

And I'm sure it's rough to the touch.

[B]

Honestly, I can't. You can't we just bidet?

[A]

Well, that's what I'm doing. I mean, that's the thing is I'm always batang.

[B]

Oh, I need to get here.

[A]

I only do a final, like, make sure it's dry, a little pat. So we're not like aggressively wiping the behind anyways. It's just one felt, one swoop.

[B]

Yeah, I need a bidet.

[A]

Yeah, you need a bidet yesterday. Honestly, if you love someone in your life, you need to give them a bidet.

[B]

Oh, are you joking? Do you guys know that he also never sent me the vitamin package he promised me on air? He never sent it. Do you know that we had a guest one time come on the show and offer, oh, we're going there. Don't. We're going there. We had a guest on this show like four years ago, and this said, oh, girl, I'm gonna get. Because she. I was like, damn, your pants are cool as hell. She goes, aritzia, I'll send you a pair. And I was like, oh, my God, this girl is so cool and rich. I've never gotten those pants. I never got those pants. Guess you're not as cool and rich as I thought you were.

[A]

Brings up the vitamins to me like once a a day. And I'm like, girl, you asked me as soon as we left for the link, so I assumed you had already ordered them.

[B]

But I know it's crazy because you said you would send them and this girl said she would send me the pants. Pants. And it's like, it's not. It's not about the pants. It's about the weird empty promise on air. Like, why are you guys lying?

[A]

I think I'm performative on air for you.

[B]

Then where's my vitamins and where's my pants?

[A]

I think five years.

[B]

Because I will drop your name. I know you're successful as hell now, girl. And I will Drag you to filth. This is your cancellation. It's knocking on the door. Where's my pants?

[A]

Okay, well, maybe I'll be able to afford sending you expensive vitamins. Thanks to today's sponsor, SeatGeek. I think it was very smooth and honestly should be studied at Harvard Business School. Thank you very much. We love you. There's no wonder you're the number one rated ticketing app. You have 35 million downloads, and that's like a testament of its own. Like, you don't need to say much more than that. There's over 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek. From concerts to sporting events, music festivals, comedy shows.

[B]

I know Broadway shows.

[A]

Brought anything you want to see. SeatGeek has a ticket for. We have our eyes on Ms. Hilary Duff, me, Morgan and Elizabeth. We're gonna get there some way somehow. That somehow being SeatGeek.

[B]

Well, we'll get the tickets from SeatGeek. We still don't know how we're gonna get there physically.

[A]

Oh, yeah. No, no, you'll drive. I'll drive.

[B]

Yeah, we know how we've got it all.

[A]

Seeking grades. Every ticket on a scale of 1 to 10, look for the green dots. Green means you're getting a great deal. Red means bad. And every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. There are so many other incredible artists also on tour right now. Alex Warren, who Lizzie is just so obsessed with among so many more. Do you know a few more?

[B]

Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande.

[A]

Oh, my God. We're done. You did it, period. They're all on tour. Like, you're literally not going to want to miss out. I do want to see Ariana Grande. I do want to see.

[B]

And Machine Gun Kelly, who we saw. And it was. It was quite a fun show.

[A]

It was a great show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So much fun. And SeatGeek is obviously coming through for you guys. They're offering 10% off your next set of tickets at Sea Geek when you use our code the SIP10. Make sure you use code the SIP10 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. You can also click the link in our description section below to download the app and have our code automatically downloaded for you so that you can use it whenever you're ready to buy tickets. Make sure you check out their fantastic app. It's fun to browse, house peruse, see where your seats are going to be in the arena. It's so much fun. Sea Geek, I love you. Thank you for continuing to support our show. Where were we? I guess I Should just double check to see, like, who this person is that can't stop calling me.

[B]

What if it is Poseidon?

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

The king of the sea. The God of the sea. The Greek God of the sea. Is that who Poseidon is?

[A]

Thank God I didn't answer that. Why? Wells Fargo Business banking. He just wants to chat.

[B]

Like, go away.

[A]

And I'm like, I don't want to talk to you. Stop.

[B]

I got a call from someone like that one time, and I was like, I am. Like, I just had a baby. And they were like, oh, like, do you want to talk about this? I was like, no.

[A]

They're always like, well, then congratulations on the baby. We should really talk about you.

[B]

Come in. I was like, no, I can't come in. I can't come in. I can't do anything. I just told you I had a baby.

[A]

Wow. So while I was on my fun streak last week, I thought, let's keep it going. I thought for a long time, LA was plagued by rain. You were sick. My nanny was sick. The kids were grumpy, I think because of the rain. Maybe my kids are like me. And it's like, it's raining, right?

[B]

It would be weird if they were like you.

[A]

We went to high tea. And then I also thought, you know what, Shane? You and I need to get away. Please, let's go. I woke up one morning, and there was just no way I wasn't gonna get away.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I told Shane, we're leaving. Pack your bag, sweetheart. We're going. So this weekend we went to, like, Montecito, which is right next to Santa Barbara, where all, like, the really ritzy celebrities live.

[B]

Did you see anyone cool?

[A]

No. No. I mean, they were probably hiding from me.

[B]

Probably. They don't want to get dragged to felt on the set.

[A]

But I had never been there before. I've been to Santa Barbara before, but I'd never been to Montecito. And it's crazy. It's just like, beautifully manicured mansions for miles. They're all Spanish, like, tiled roofs. Incredible. The beach was beautiful. I just thought, oh, wow. This is why they're all moving here. Yeah, it's crazy.

[B]

I've been there once.

[A]

What were you doing?

[B]

It was sad. It was like, the. Maybe 10th anniversary of my godmother passing. And so we went to sprinkle some of her ashes on a beach in Mono. Her. Her. One of her wishes was, like, that we would all get a little bit of her ashes, and we would take her to beautiful places. And I'M like, nice try. I'm going to hoard you forever. She's just been living in a freezer bag with me for years.

[A]

Not even, like, in an urn on your mantle? No, in the freezer. Well, in a freezer bag, freezing.

[B]

No, she's in a bag.

[A]

The Ziploc bags are things that. He also told me she's not in a bag.

[B]

I mean, she's not in the freezer. I love her a lot.

[A]

Okay, But a Ziploc, she gets cried

[B]

on all the time.

[A]

You just grab the Ziploc bag, cry on it.

[B]

It's really sad.

[A]

Wait, no. Is it? I really loved her. Did you know this guy told me I also couldn't have Ziploc bags?

[B]

I know, but, like, what are we supposed to do?

[A]

I guess there's, like, reusable bamboo ones.

[B]

Oh, fuck off.

[A]

But he said the plastic is, like, killing us. Ah, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it. Because it's like, when you know better,

[B]

you're supposed to do better. And then, well, just like, why doesn't the FDA just, like, make these companies stop trying to kill us? Like, we have literally an organization in place to protect us. But, like, they literally don't do anything to protect us because all they do is listen to the lobbyists and then they make all of us feel like monster when we come on. Oh, God, 25, 20.

[A]

Here she is trying to ruin our

[B]

lives, and now they're ruining my show. Come on, fda, do something about it. Sick of you. Seriously sick of you. God, I wish I could do something that would change the world. I just can't.

[A]

But, I mean, you could.

[B]

No, I mean, like, what am I going to do?

[A]

I mean, you're on the public building.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah.

[A]

She's not. No, she won't. You said you won't. What are you going to do? You wouldn't.

[B]

But it makes you really understand the Weather Underground, you know what I'm saying? Like, I get why they made the Anarchist Cookbook. When you really think about the way that the system is all put together, like, we the people gotta start destroying government property.

[A]

It's just hard when they're mass distributing things that have made our life so convenient that we can't live without, like, the dawn dish soap. How am I gonna live without that?

[B]

Oh, that's easy. Well, just go order some seventh Generation. Put it in a glass thing that has a metal dispenser.

[A]

I need a spray. It's got to be a Spray it.

[B]

Don has put it in a little.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Yeah, I'm telling you, we have it in a little.

[A]

You obviously haven't tried this.

[B]

No, I have. I've tried.

[A]

Well, then you're stupid. No, I mean, that's literally like, that's a life changing product and I guess that's killing me too.

[B]

Can you continue to use the bottle and put your own soap in it?

[A]

Well, it's a plastic bottle. Maybe I can find a glass spray. See, this is the problem. But now it's like, because I know and because there's all these recent devastating deaths that are cancer. Yeah. I just like, can't help but, like, turn a blind eye to these things if it's actually something I can maybe prevent or at least try to prevent.

[B]

I'm liter scrolling on my phone, thinking I should move my phone further away from my child's head. Like, is. Is me scrolling for another 20 minutes while nursing worth my child potentially being affected by the. The waves of bullshit coming off my phone. No, it's not. But also, I'm addicted now and I can't stand the quiet. We also used to smoke through pregnancies.

[A]

I mean, there. Okay.

[B]

I'm just saying, like one addiction for the other. Like, why can't I be still? Why can't I have your house?

[A]

He's never been quiet, by the way. No, there's 800 sound machines to.

[B]

And Joe's made one like a. A sound machine booby trap that just makes me so irritated.

[A]

Oh, you're not the culprit.

[B]

No, I am. But we. Because we have so many, they need to be plugged in in a bunch of different places.

[A]

Oh, my God, your house is a nightmare.

[B]

And none of our electrical outlets work, so it's like. It has to be like a cord has to be run. Yes. And.

[A]

And then we're all tripping over the extended.

[B]

This is worse girl. Joe, it's like a landmine. He has it on a door handle connected to a string that leads to the bathroom.

[A]

Are you worried about your children? No.

[B]

None of them can open doors. Well, Billy can open doors, but it's like, not gonna get him. He's not using the bathroom. And so if you go to shut the bathroom door, 17 things just go flying at you because there's like. It's all connected. It's all connected. Anyways.

[A]

Very cool.

[B]

Yeah. So cool.

[A]

I had a relaxing week. Well, one, I had a relaxing 23 hours away, so.

[B]

Great for you. I'm so glad to hear.

[A]

It was very fun. Just Looked at the ocean, went to dinner.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, I do think that it's important for us to live a little.

[B]

I agree, but I also. Your husband hates you.

[A]

Oh, don't make me pull up an asset.

[B]

Oh, well, guess what.

[A]

Well, you're being nasty.

[B]

This is what happens when you post my chin hairs. I'm like, minding my own business, looking at Shane's stories. I'm like, oh, cute. They had a nice weekend. He posted this of Rylan. He hates him.

[A]

Isn't that crazy? Backlit wind blowing door open.

[B]

It's like the worst hair he's ever

[A]

put it on screen. The closer you put it, it's not going to help that much.

[B]

No, I'll zoom in. They'll see. They see.

[A]

I know. And there were 8 million photo options. All I could do is. Yeah, Crazy, huh?

[B]

Are you guys okay?

[A]

I mean. Yeah, we're fine.

[B]

Are you sure?

[A]

He went on a vacation. I forced him to go on, but.

[B]

Did you, like, talk about this?

[A]

No.

[B]

So you don't know if it's passive aggressive or not really.

[A]

You can confront him later on.

[B]

Okay, we'll confront.

[A]

Yeah. Like, were you, like, what did he do?

[B]

Was he eating too close to you? Because I get it. If that was the foul. He had this coming. Was it this light fish smell that you just had had enough of?

[A]

Whatever. You can't bring me down. I'm going to hide right now.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That high girl. I'm just jealous because I've been living

[B]

in the pits of despair with 19 sound machines.

[A]

I think, because, well, I mean, you really do have a newborn. But for me, sometimes I'm like, it can be harder. The effort to, like, going to have a good time can be harder than just not doing it, because it's like, you have to make sure there's someone for your kids and your dogs in your house and your love. But I do think we need it. Even just, like, going out to high tea. Yeah, I did, like, a one, two punch. I did high tea and then 23 hours out, and it was like, I need to prioritize doing that a little more just so I can be a little mentally better for everyone that encounters me, period. So it's a priority, really.

[B]

It was. It was a health care necessity.

[A]

I was celebrating because I got a big audition and I won't talk about every audition on the SIP podcast.

[B]

Just the biggest ones.

[A]

Just the biggest ones.

[B]

He's basically the lead of what? I'm just telling them the good news.

[A]

I already think I got in trouble for saying I had. I like auditioned for General Hospital because they're all like confidential. Who cares? I mean, my manager, apparently she said something. Well, she was like, just remember these are like confidential.

[B]

Well, because of what we said.

[A]

Well, because I. It was more my vlog where I was like, I'm A for General Hospital. But this one was. It's a. It's for a 35 year old gay dad who's not that gay, who's not a we. Who's not a typical weho gay dad.

[B]

He's like a. And I was Colorado Gay.

[A]

And it's for a big part. So it's very dialogue heavy. And because it's a part that could be right for me, I really did dedicate two entire days to this, like eating, living, breathing, sleeping, this. I went and got coaching.

[B]

Being a 35 year old gay with twins. He just lived it for two days.

[A]

Dialogue heavy. And there was a monologue. Oh my God, a pretty meaty monologue. And so I went and I got coaching. I put it on tape. I really like. And even if I don't get it, because the thing is with acting, if it's meant to be you, you, it's gonna be you. Yeah, like, you do have to put the hard work in, but like then you just have to let go. I was more proud of myself for getting off book, for giving a performance I was proud of that I don't think is embarrassing for like a casting director to watch. And I was like, you know what? That was fulfilling. I worked very hard because like, yes, we work hard doing this, but it's a very different muscle to be flexing. Yeah. I haven't challenged myself in that sort of way since I did Shane's pilot. But even in Shane's pilot, while I had like a role that was constantly around, it wasn't like I had huge, Huge. Yeah. Chunks of dialogue. So that's. I felt like after I accomplished that, I was like, you know what? That was the win. Like going out of my, out of my way, booking a coach, doing like putting in the hard work and just letting go and being like, you know, I had a good time doing that. It's not about the outcome, it's about enjoying the process to getting there if I do get there, period. Not this role, another role.

[B]

I also think that people so often get tied up in the results and we cannot control the results, but we can control the effort that goes into it. And I think that it is such a beautiful thing that you just said and shared with the class.

[A]

Well, that's what I kept reminding myself during it because I would get stressed because there is, like, the acting world has changed. It's no longer in person auditions. It's tape.

[B]

So you can't be charming in person anymore.

[A]

You can't charm them in person. But then I just kept. I was a little anxious being like, I'll just be so relieved once I've got it. But then I was like, I need to just enjoy it. And I really did enjoy the process. And then once I was done, I was like, you know what? I am fulfilled. Like, that process was fulfilling for me.

[B]

It's like the girl ice skater that just won gold, she's like, I didn't want to do this and make it stressful. I loved it. So I did it in a way that I loved and I didn't to want break my body and my mind and my soul for it. And I won gold.

[A]

And her performance was so joyful to watch.

[B]

It was.

[A]

It really was.

[B]

I haven't watched any of it.

[A]

The only Olympics that comes across my table is figure skating for some reason. And it's just recommended to me on YouTube because they know I, like, click all of the ice skating ones they send my way. And she really was a joy to watch. It was just fun and light. She nailed all of it. Once she did finish her routine, she was just like. Like, yeah.

[B]

Hell, yeah.

[A]

And so it was really cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To see somebody be like, I've put all this hard work and dedication in, and I'm not going to let this be, like, stripped from me. The stressful end. It should be the joyful celebration of all the hard work she's done for years and years and years and years. And I think when we're pursuing anything that's creative, that's disciplined, that's. It's even not creative if you're pursuing. Should be intentional, right? Yeah. Because it's like, I don't know if you're not excited about what it is you're pursuing. I think you should find something you're excited about pursuing while you're hustling on the side, period. But it's just like, we need to enjoy it. Even if it's hard work.

[B]

The journey is longer than the destination.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So if you're not enjoying the journey you're on, then you're not gonna. Then the destination is not worth it.

[A]

It. And with that being said, there has been.

[B]

Thank you to today's sponsor.

[A]

There has been a couple other auditions that I get the sides, and I'm like, Even if they're good, they're just not for me in a way that I'm like, even if I give my best, not only is this a role that I don't necessarily want to. Yes, like, see through if I get.

[B]

But I think the point is not about booking the role again, like you said, the point is the pride in the work that you put into.

[A]

I know, but sometimes it's hard to find that pride if it's something I'm not excited about.

[B]

Oh, so here's results oriented.

[A]

No, no, it's not that.

[B]

If he's not winning the gold, it wasn't worth the trouble.

[A]

No, it's like, I think there's roles that you'd be excited about or not. It's script dependent, it's role dependent, it's age dependent. And it's like if a Cassidy director is calling you in, they think that you're in some realm, a possibility. And it's like, oh, it could be a different direction. You could surprise him. But sometimes I'm like, do I have two full days to put aside for like. It could be a surprise. You know, you just have to like weigh out the pros and cons of

[B]

like, especially it's the time management and the opportunity cost of it all. Like, if I do this now, then I can't do that thing and is

[A]

that I have to cancel something else or I have to be away from. So I was just very, very, very excited that I got an opportunity for a good platform for a role that was right for me. And so that was very exciting and fun.

[B]

I was excited by it. Yeah, I'm already spending time in your dressing room.

[A]

It's so fun there.

[B]

It's really nice there.

[A]

It's so fun there. And I'm like.

[B]

And I'm like ordering food for myself as if, like people have to cater to me as well. And they're like, you don't go here.

[A]

Well, as long as you're like. But I'm part of the designated person that will just run lines with me until you're sick, then that's fine.

[B]

I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

As long as you're filming in Burbank at that studio that's close to my house.

[A]

And I'm always just telling myself,

[B]

well,

[A]

you know, it's, it's a double edged sword, social media. Because it's like they could Google me and be like, he's like a YouTuber. Or they could google me and be like, Ugh, great. More promotion for the show is there

[B]

no matter what though?

[A]

Well, I think it is a little bit of a, like today's world. It is a little bit like you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't.

[B]

Well, what's so funny is every person that you talk to for rep, they're like, well, what's your social media following? And then it's like, like this is it. And they're like, well, you need to get those numbers up. And then you go in as a person with a social media following, they're like, oh, we just don't take you seriously in this realm. And it's like, well, what do you want?

[A]

Yeah, like what do you want? What do you want me to have a social media. Because like, nobody just has a social media following for nothing. There's, there's a library. The person has a social media following. So it is just a double edged sword.

[B]

And then like every time I sit down with someone who could be like in a mentorship position to me, they're like, you really got to use this following. And it's like, you don't know what you're saying. This following quantify justifiably in regards to me being a writer or director. It doesn't matter.

[A]

I would disagree in some ways I,

[B]

I wish that I. But I mean like, am I writing? You're directing.

[A]

Well, you're in the, you're in the trenches of parenthood.

[B]

Yeah, but I could bring her anywhere.

[A]

Yeah, okay, that's so like, are you. No. You're guilty yourself because you are even saying you don't know.

[B]

I physically can't write right now.

[A]

And if you're not actively pursuing something, it's not going to just fin. And if it does, fuck you.

[B]

That's you. Are you joking?

[A]

I've.

[B]

We walk into Target and you're like, I need rain boots and a pair your size drop in the, in the alley and you put them on, you go, perfect, let's go.

[A]

When prepper, when opportunity meets preparation. What was that? Preparation with the rainbow manifested. Hardcore period.

[B]

Luckiest girls in the world, you know?

[A]

No, I think for anything you have to set yourself up to be in the right position. Falls into place and sometimes it doesn't, but you just keep fucking swinging.

[B]

Don't mess with your.

[A]

Oh yeah, my ears are doing good.

[B]

I'm worried that that twisting might have caused an outbreak.

[A]

No, it was just nasty gunk buildup because the earrings were big and I guess I'm dirty. I guess I smell like fish and I'm dirty.

[B]

It's a light smell. It's not that bad. It might even be your teeth.

[A]

I'll take you in. Maybe we should go to the fish grill so I can fit in.

[B]

Dude, when. After we went to the fish girl, when I was pregnant and you outed my baby's gender without my consent.

[A]

Oh, that was bad. That was one of my worst moments.

[B]

I was, like, bloated for so many days. I couldn't move. And I considered taking a knife and just cutting myself on the side and letting the air out.

[A]

Whoa. Yeah. All because of me.

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, you just wanted to just make sure I remembered that I revealed the baby's gender prematurely. Correct. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then the bloating is a secondary.

[B]

Bloating is unrelated.

[A]

Yeah. Just we're like, whoa. Can never be pregnant again. This is hell.

[B]

Cannot.

[A]

This is fresh hell.

[B]

This is a fresh hell.

[A]

This is a fresh hell. Speaking of fresh, we have a fresh app that will help you manage your finances. And that just so happens to be Rocket Money. I love Rocket Money and Lizzie loves Rocket Money. Because we are not girls that have any business trying to manage numbers or our finances. We need some assistance in that department. And we luckily have both discovered Rocket Money, which collects all of our accounts in one place. They have a dashboard that beautifully displays place all your finances in one picture so you can get it all without having to do any work yourself.

[B]

It's baller.

[A]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. They monitor your spending and they help you lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. I love that they'll just display all of your subscriptions because I know that you have one too many subscriptions you're paying for that you don't even remember. With Rocket Money, with just a few taps, you can click and they will help to cancel your unwanted subscriptions. For you, this next thing is key and clutch. For me, you can also set up budgets. They'll help you manage your goals. And these are all things that I could never do without the help of somebody else. Inside of Rocket Money's budgets, there are customizable categories. They'll give you personalized insights and regular reports. And I also like that you'll receive real time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. I really do like that as, like a secondary fraud protection, it will always say, like, you're receiving money or you just spent something big, watch out. And I'm like, I do need to watch out. They also have an incredible goals feature that helps you grow towards a goal. And they'll automatically help you set the best time to put away money. It's a set it and forget it approach. A few months to a year later, you're going to look back and be thanking your past self because you're going to have money tucked away for a rainy day. So let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. You can join@rocket money.com sip that's rocket money.com sip rocket money.com sip do you need to gross out the audience by talking about this?

[B]

What?

[A]

Breastfeeding? Making your something.

[B]

I just want to know if other people are feeling similarly okay.

[A]

If you're eating. I don't.

[B]

I.

[A]

Okay, first of all, here's just a disclaimer for this show in general.

[B]

You know, here. Don't you dare make the postpartum process disgusting.

[A]

I'm not. This is not what a woman can't

[B]

eat while it's discussing her postpartum issues. Because it's gross.

[A]

That has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. I'm just saying in general, if you want to eat with our show, you need to fast forward to when we're eating. Okay. You pick up your meal, you fast forward to the eating portion.

[B]

Feels like you pivot. This disclaimer after I said don't be talking.

[A]

No, this was after all the comments last week were like, I can no longer eat to this show.

[B]

Why? What did we talk about last week?

[A]

We were disgusting. Every. Everything coming out of our mouths last week was disgusting.

[B]

Was it?

[A]

And I was like, yeah. No, no. There's. You have no business eating to the couch segment of this show.

[B]

Wait, what did we talk about that was so gross last week?

[A]

I don't remember.

[B]

Me neither. I feel like we were ladies last week.

[A]

I mean, aren't we always?

[B]

I thought we were ladies in this. In the street.

[A]

So with that. Postpartum is beautiful. It is a miracle. It's the reason that all of us are here thanks to a mother. A mother. But with that being said, poop is on her document.

[B]

I would like to know. Breastfeeding moms. Are you guys pooping, like, a lot? Like, do you have, like, a lot of poop? And are they like big poops asking for a friend?

[A]

I mean, you've always been pooping.

[B]

This is different.

[A]

Oh, like, so each time you're pooping, it's different.

[B]

It's. No, it's like foot long.

[A]

Oh, that is satisfying. I love oh, my God. I am like a proud dad Bad when I do a foot long. And if it's a semi floater, even better. That means help, dude.

[B]

I see.

[A]

You can't be eating to this.

[B]

I know, I. But like, I like, it's nuts.

[A]

I'm like, you're proud, right?

[B]

No, but part of me is like, I feel like I didn't even eat enough to produce that. Oh, it's like crazy. So let me know. Mom's in the comments below. You be pooping.

[A]

Bigger, better, bigger, better, stronger. Those were her specific questions.

[B]

Kanye west song, Bigger, better, Faster, Stronger, whatever was low key about my postpartum poops.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

I'm just wondering.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Cuz I did Google it and it was like, you're. If you're more hydrated, sure.

[A]

Oh, and you're always drinking.

[B]

I do be drinking.

[A]

You're always drinking non alcoholic beverages. Yeah. Okay. It's getting pretty hot outside.

[B]

Oh, is everybody in need of some iced tea?

[A]

I think freaking.

[B]

So do you guys want to sit down, relax and have some. A nice cold beverage that's been steeping and brewing for a little bit too long. And you want to hear the facts, but a little bit wrong.

[A]

And we have some things to discuss. And that's the other disclaimer I have for this podcast. Still. People will be like, that's not how that went down. And I was like, never, ever, ever trust us or come to us for facts.

[B]

We've been very clear about the fact that on this show we just do words. And usually we don't do them right.

[A]

This is as if you're at lunch with a friend. We are not fact checking. This is verifying.

[B]

This is a private gossip between two fucking friends. Friends. And you just happen to be a fly on the wall. And you know what? You're welcome for the privilege.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You're welcome. What did I put on the docket at 3 o' clock this morning while I was breastfeeding my son?

[A]

Hillary Duff's new album?

[B]

Okay, I know. We're going to the show.

[A]

Okay. Don't be nasty.

[B]

No. Okay. Finish reading the thing.

[A]

She's just doing a little too much press, and I think she has one too many yes people around her.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

I think she should. I think a little mystery is more. And she just hasn't met a press outlet she could say no to.

[B]

And so Hillary Duff dropped a new album on her estranged sister's birthday, which

[A]

is a little petty. And I mean it. Maybe we don't know the drama going on between Them.

[B]

Maybe she literally forgot her sister's birthday.

[A]

No, there's no way.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

This was. I can't remember my brother accidentally drop an album for the first time in 20 years on your estranged sister's birthday. That is some Taylor Swift esque antics.

[B]

And then there's a song on the album that's low key about her sister.

[A]

It's not even low key. She has come forth and she literally

[B]

planned a press tour and hired someone to stand in the audience and be like, is that song about your sister? So that she could be like, yes, it is. Thank you for asking me that question. I paid you to ask.

[A]

And wow, is that woman frozen in time. If she doesn't look right, I don't know who.

[B]

She looks beautiful. And then when she starts talking, like, she doesn't move.

[A]

Oh, so it's like. But who cares?

[B]

Like, not I.

[A]

Whatever she's doing is working. I. That woman, she has is gorgeous kids. I think four, but. Okay.

[B]

No, dude, I think it's like six. I counted the names. She has like five daughters and one 13 year old son.

[A]

Maybe she has two. No, dude, literally, there's no way. I swear, I hate to do this, like Google in real time, but there's just not a world in which she has six kids. How many biological kids does Hillary Duff have?

[B]

Oh, don't read the answer out loud.

[A]

4. I know. I'm like a Hillary Duff superfan. I know these things.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[B]

That's fine. I'm fine with being wrong.

[A]

She has four kids.

[B]

I love to be wrong in public in front of all my friends.

[A]

So she drops her this album on her sister's birthday. Crazy. Because, you know, it's like you got a few messages about a chin hair.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Imagine Haley Duff's birthday.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like everyone she knows, like, I'm sorry. And it's even like the I'm sorry is too much.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If, you know, if you want to be an ally to Hayley, you say nothing.

[B]

You say.

[A]

You just say like, oh, is there a new album? We're going to Laguna beach and we're going to have a great time.

[B]

Yeah. You know, listening to nothing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And keep Instagram closed. Keep it closed because Haley is doing her. Hillary is doing her damnedest to get in your feed.

[A]

She really.

[B]

She really is.

[A]

And I don't know what went on about them, but it is. I mean, you have an estranged brother.

[B]

I do have an estranged.

[A]

Are you going to write an album about him?

[B]

If I could, I would. I was writing A script about him.

[A]

Him. Oh.

[B]

That I was going to release on his birthday, but I can't remember his birthday.

[A]

So it's an honor, actually, Haley, that Hillary remembers your birthday, because this one can't remember her brother.

[B]

Literally can't.

[A]

I, actually, I am devastated to say I have not made it to her album yet.

[B]

I don't think I can.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Did you hear that one song?

[A]

No.

[B]

She's like, one song. She's like, I'm standing in a doorway, and I'm blowing your dick, and then I'm gonna go home. And a lot of myself, people are

[A]

saying, like, the album is great.

[B]

Let's listen to it then. Because that one song I heard, I was, like, bopping to it, and then I heard the lyrics, and I was

[A]

like, huh, As a prude. Yeah, you're a prude. Yeah. Well, it's a.

[B]

It's a. It's graphic. I'm. She's like, literally, I got your knob in my mouth, and it's going a little too deep, and I'm kind of gagging. But I'm gonna be discreet so that you're still turned on. But I threw up just a little, and I swallowed it, because I'm cool. I'm a cool girl.

[A]

Okay, So a quote that Elizabeth put in this from Hilary Duff is. And just absolutely the most lonely part of my existence is not having my sister in my life at the moment. She said, explaining that she struggled with thinking about including that on the record before. Before deciding to do so. Because, quote, it is. Oh. Because, quote, quote, because it's my reality. End quote.

[B]

Period. And then she said, and I'm gonna masturbate later.

[A]

She did.

[B]

No, but that's also in the song. I get it, though. Like, honestly, I've never had a tight relationship with my brother, and he's.

[A]

But they were tight at one point in time.

[B]

I think that they're probably trauma bonded because I. Everything I've heard about Haley and Hillary Duff's mom as a stage mom is like, oh, she was kind of intense. And for both girls to be pushed theatrically at such a young age by a mom who is that intense, and

[A]

then one take to superstardom. Yeah. And that is another thing. Like, I bet cuts deep for Haley because it's just like one. I mean, I don't know if Haley's interested or wanting to pursue the life.

[B]

The lyrics of the song that's about Haley is Hillary being like, are you jealous or what? Because I'll sell it all and give you the bigger half. And I'm like, then do it. Then send her the vitamins. Get those pants in the mail. Buyer the bidet. Haley, Hillary. I can't get these girls straight.

[A]

Such a petty bitch.

[B]

No, but I'm just saying, like, if that's what it is, do it.

[A]

Fire the house.

[B]

Can you imagine? Can you imagine if Haley was like, it is that. Do it. You know what I'm saying? Like, you'd be a lot less lonely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With your six kids.

[A]

It's just, if you do want a relationship with Haley. I don't know if this is the way about. Of going about it.

[B]

No, I would definitely say it is not the way to go about it. I would say that this is like. And. But I. But also, like, in the same vein of, like, I loved the West Elm album.

[A]

I don't. You lost me.

[B]

West Elm was that album about David Harbor.

[A]

Oh, right.

[B]

Yeah. And it's like, I loved that album.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So I don't know.

[A]

I mean, people love watching a mess or consuming a mess or.

[B]

Well, also, like, Pussy palace, as sad as it is. Super catchy. I did have to stop listening to West Elm because it was making me violent with rage, and I'm already full of rage.

[A]

Okay, so should we talk about America's Next Top Model docu series?

[B]

The Elephant in the room is what that docu series.

[A]

That's the Elephant in the Room.

[B]

Did you watch it?

[A]

Of course I did.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I know what I discovered.

[B]

What?

[A]

Ms. J follows me on Instagram.

[B]

Shut the up. Don't worry about it.

[A]

Don't worry about it. Maybe she watches the vlog.

[B]

Are you serious?

[A]

She doesn't follow anyone else in our world except for Shane and I. So I'm like, maybe she's like, watches the vlogs.

[B]

Bear with me. Is Ms. J the one who had a stroke?

[A]

Yes. Who's the walking coach?

[B]

Okay, that is insanely cool.

[A]

I know. I know. Know.

[B]

We should post about Ms. J.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just for attention.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

So this was crazy. Were did you grow up watching the show?

[A]

I did not.

[B]

Oh, I did.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I remember being like 16, 13 to 16 age range, watching this show and just thinking, like, wow, this is incredible. And now looking back and watching it, I'm like, oh, my God, that was insane.

[A]

Still captivating television.

[B]

Captivating as all hell. But, like, this explains why I hate myself.

[A]

Everyone. Oh, right. Everyone's dragging Tyra to filth. And I understand. But there are a couple layers to this one being, like, she is also a woman that was paving her way, trying to Start her next chapter trying to keep a show on air. And this was before reality TV knew what it was.

[B]

This was when reality TV was really booming. Like I remember at the time of this, there was this. And then after this came the huge boom of like celeb reality and like surreal life and like all these things.

[A]

Boundaries didn't exist. We weren't like the mentally health conscious society that we are today.

[B]

I watched the guy that played Mini Me get blackout drunk in his scooter and piss in bushes and I thought, wow, that's great.

[A]

And while, yes, there are many things that go on in the show that like even in that state of the world are like. Yeah, it's like there are so many different factors than just Tyra herself. Yeah. Like the network also has to approve this to go to air. There's a director, co creator of this series as well who's also heavily featured in the show. And then there are storylines that I think get a little twisted for the narrative of it all.

[B]

Like in the actual TV show, in this. I mean, I, I actually, I genuinely. So part of the docu series is they have really feature a woman. I think her name is like Shandi or something. And I remember when she was on the show, she was in a committed relationship with this guy and it was like a big part of her storyline. And then that year for their like international whatever, I believe they went to Italy. And I remember watching her get blackout drunk and hook up with these guys in a hot tub and then end up having sex with one. And then we watch her in the show in real time. Teenager Lizzie by herself in her room is watching this woman call her boyfriend and say, I had sex with someone else. And then she calls that guy back and asks if he had any STDs, which honestly I thought was a nice touch because it was a really important thing for I think young women who are starting to be sexually active or sexualized to know the importance of, of

[A]

safe sex, which the reality of doing that is kind of evil because like she said it was evil and it

[B]

definitely ruined her life.

[A]

They could have, but I think, But I think ruined her because I agree, I don't think she claimed sa. No, I think, I think the tragic part about this is that she cheated.

[B]

I think that.

[A]

And I don't think she. Maybe, I don't like, I don't think she was of sound mind and it's unfortunate that it was being filmed, but like she did cheat on her partner. And I think the devastation of it comes from Having cheated on her partner more than being taken advantage of by production. But I think it. It's.

[B]

I think both. I think there's room for all of those things to be true. And I think that more than anything, like, in the world of which we're all trying to do better and be better, like, the. This coming back to the surface is like a really harsh reality to just remember that we're all people and to treat people like people instead of means to ends. And I think production treated her like a means to an end.

[A]

And I do think, as a storyline, of course.

[B]

Yeah. But I also think, like, it's so nuts to sit back from a documentarian's perspective and think, like, wow, I just have to film this right now. Because it's like she wasn't able to consent to that. Do you know what I mean? Like, she was blackout drunk. That's not consensual.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I. And that's why I say, like, it was an interesting thing for me to see at an age where I'm starting to consider sexual activity and to know, like, oh, something this up can happen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's something to be aware of. And I don't think that, like, you know, know, let's reframe it for a positive thing, but I think that is something to be gleaned in a good way. Whereas, like, the rest of the show, I just was like, oh, I'm too fat and I hate my body.

[A]

Right. That element was crazy. Yeah, it is. I mean, it's just. It's crazy. It.

[B]

All of it was crazy. And then they turned the girls into Greek salad. That's the cherry tomato.

[A]

They just kept pushing and pushing and pushing and. And, man, it's. It's an unbelievable. Watch that documentary on Netflix.

[B]

And I got to see some of it with sound. I did watch a lot of it without sound. So I missed, like, the first episode and a half, but like the. The second half of the second episode and the third episode I heard most of. Okay, I was gagged.

[A]

No, it's gag worthy. And it is shocking. I mean, what made it to air back in the day.

[B]

And it makes me miss when. Do you remember VH1 used to do those series? Like, I love the 80s. I love the 90s. I love the Audis or whatever. Like, bring them back. Like, let us talk about it. Because that was nuts. That was nuts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I like all. I idolized Tara Reid being blackout drunk with her titties hanging out. You know what I mean? Like, what is that? I didn't even have titties. And I was like, pull these out. Like, that's so sad.

[A]

Wow, wow, wow.

[B]

And before I had kids, let me tell you, these titties, Chef's kiss.

[A]

I think they're still looking great.

[B]

Well, sometimes my nipples are a little off, but I will say this one time I flashed my boobies for pizza, and it was like everybody was, oh, my God, your breasts are incredible. And I said, oh, my God. Thank you.

[A]

It's of kind.

[B]

Crazy great.

[A]

Tim Gun has been celibate for 43 years. Yeah.

[B]

Did you just read that for the first time?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's a lot, huh?

[A]

That's very shocking.

[B]

So this is sad. Oh, Tim Gunn of Project Runway, who, if you remember him from such things as make it work. You know what I mean? Because that's what he says. Make it work. So Tim Gunn was in a super committed relationship, and one day the guy just said to him, I don't want to be spending time with you anymore, and I've been cheating on anything that'll move. And it was in the 80s when AIDS was first on the scene and everybody was dying, and he was scared. He was scared that he had kept. Had caught aids, and. And then every time he found himself in a position to be vulnerable with someone like that, he decided not to. So for 43. And also because he, like, all of the pain of that betrayal flooded back into his mind, and he hasn't had sex for 43 years because of it.

[A]

And still to this day.

[B]

Well, I don't know. Do. Do the math on the 43 years.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Maybe. Maybe it's not to this day, that is devastating. Yeah.

[A]

And then you have vindication for me. Oh, you have proof that asap Rocky and Rihanna.

[B]

Yes, I do have indication for you. I forgot I added that. That was for you. So if you know anything about Ryland Adams, it's that he has been tirelessly combing through the files, hitting.

[A]

Well, I'm just perplexed, you know, because it makes me feel less than.

[B]

He's doing the detective work. He's putting the effort in to prove that there is a conspiracy afoot. And the conspiracy is that ASAP Rock

[A]

getting mad at what he said.

[B]

Take your flowers. Take your flowers.

[A]

Okay. Yes, I have been dipping and doing it.

[B]

He's been doing it for the people. Because asap, Rocky and Rihanna have all of us thinking that you can do it without help, because they've said that they have three children under three.

[A]

Well, I think she's pregnant with her third. I think they have whatever or they're pregnant with their fourth.

[B]

I don't know, whatever. They're like, you can. You can get pregnant and be tw. 20 weeks pregnant and do the Super Bowl. It's easy and you don't need help.

[A]

And it's like, that is.

[B]

That is toxic. And you are lying. You have millions of dollars and you have help. They have billions of dollars.

[A]

To be fair, I've never heard Rihanna say it. I heard asap.

[B]

No, it's in their actions. It's in their actions.

[A]

It's in her actions.

[B]

No, when she came out of the super bowl pregnant, I was like, wow, pregnant women can do anything. I can get pregnant and do anything. And then I got pregnant and I was like, I can't do a goddamn thing. I can't even think about what I want to eat next. And it makes me cry and I wish somebody else would figure out what I want to eat next. And riri' up at the super bowl, like flying through the air. Shut up, bitch. You've got help and billions of dollars.

[A]

Well, she is a little bit better than us just because she's got billions of dollars. Okay? But no, she's also asap. Rocky on a red carpet where he's like, I didn't wait this long and work this hard to have kids where I then have help. And I just was like, you have help. Hear you. But there's just no way.

[B]

No, no, you have help. So guess what?

[A]

What?

[B]

He threw Rihanna a surprise birthday party. And it was late at night at a restaurant. And then afterwards the restaurant again even later at night. And it's like, no one's going to a restaurant late at night if they have children that they take care of. Our midnight is 8:30pm and if we start a movie past that time, we're dead the next day. As if we've been out in the streets doing methamphetamine for 32 days straight without sleeping. So don't you for one second tell me you went out to a late dinner and had a surprise party and still woke up the next morning to raise your children. Cuz you're a liar.

[A]

And with that, we lied. You listen.

[B]

No, we do. We love you. You're inspirational as hell. You made me think I could do anything. But the fact is, I can't do very much.

[A]

Well, and that's the thing. Like, I have two kids. And it's like it does take a village. And yes, it's. You're. I'm. I'd be lying to your face. If I said I didn't have help, because I do.

[B]

And why lie to our faces? Like, just let us know you have help?

[A]

Because it makes me feel crazy when you say you don't feel local. How are you so much better than me?

[B]

Someone was in my comment section being like, my house was clean, bitch. And I had no help. And it's like, are your kids happy? Because you sound a little miserable to me. The fact that you're in the comment section screaming at a postpartum woman about how dirty her house is 25 years later. Seems like you've got some baggage you need to unpack yourself, sister. So my house may be a little bit messy, but guess my kids are happy when they're not dying of your infection. And that's on. I have help.

[A]

And you know what else could make you happy? Today's podcast sponsor. Sponsor, which just so happens to be Rula. I have been screaming about needing therapy myself for so long. But where I always get hung up is trying to find a therapist. Whether that be trying to find somebody that takes my insurance or just finding somebody and it's not a match. I have tried multiple therapists multiple times and it doesn't work out for so many reasons. And that's why I love that Rula is here changing the game. Rula actually partners with more than a hundred 100,000 insurance plans, bringing the average cost down to only $15 per therapy session. That is truly incredible. Without my insurance, I think it was close to $100 for 50 minutes. That's like, it's just. It's not attainable.

[B]

End up not getting help because they can't afford the $200 price tag on it.

[A]

And then it's like running a business, a busy life. You have like work and kids and you have to work out and maintain a social, social. It's like then your mental health goes down the drain. And that's why I love that it does not have to.

[B]

I actually got Ruler through Kaiser.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. And the therapist I saw was via Rula.

[A]

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[B]

But you're gonna have to.

[A]

I don't know. I could hand the phone back to Spencer up next. So we gotta get this.

[B]

He's been practicing. Spencer, give him some space.

[A]

You didn't see me on the floor of the office practicing.

[B]

He needs to prepare.

[A]

Okay. I'm getting free lunch again. It's this. This McDonald's Big Mac Quesadilla secret menu item is going viral. Say that. Do you think Spencer could do this? Oh, so good on you.

[B]

Spencer can do anything.

[A]

Ask if they have tortillas. Usually at breakfast locations. Well, but I think they have the order. Double cheeseburger, Big Mac sauce on the side. You're brave enough for this.

[B]

Get it while you can. The big arch.

[A]

Hello. Happy Monday. Happy Monday.

[B]

Follow these instructions. Follow these instructions.

[A]

Okay, I have an annoying order. Have you ever seen the secret menu item?

[B]

No. Girl, read the. Read the. Read the menu.

[A]

Okay. Okay. How many?

[B]

Just read it.

[A]

God damn. Okay, can I order a double cheese burger? Okay. Could I get Big Mac sauce on the side? Okay. And some extra cheese. Okay. Okay. And this is the annoying part.

[B]

He's not reading it.

[A]

Is it possible to wrap it in a tortilla? No.

[B]

I can.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Can you get tortillas on the side?

[A]

Can I get tortillas on the side? Then

[B]

two sausage burritos.

[A]

What? Nobody on town cuz they not by themselves.

[B]

Get two snack wraps.

[A]

Two.

[B]

Two chicken snacks.

[A]

Okay. Oh, what? Say what?

[B]

Two chicken snack wraps.

[A]

Two. Okay. Can I get two chicken snack snack wraps then? Ranch or spicy?

[B]

Ranch.

[A]

Ranch. Okay. Can I get two of those burgers? I asked you guys to do this. Yes. One more of the same burgers? Yes. Okay. What else can I get? Three small shamrock shakes.

[B]

I just want to take this time to remind you all that if you need therapy after watching this, our sponsor today was Rula. And you can get affordable health care.

[A]

Then can I get a hot honey bacon McCrispy? Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. Thank you.

[B]

It's also really hard for me to be in these scenarios without my chin hair to rub. Just like having the chin hair is like. It's like a fidget spinner. You know? Like, it's just like. It brings me.

[A]

It.

[B]

It brought me comfort. Comfort during awful times.

[A]

See, I don't think I got the pickles, onions, and lettuce which make it the Big Mac. So we've completely felt.

[B]

Well, everything about the lettuce comes on the cheeseburgers.

[A]

We should have also just got a Big Mac.

[B]

I think you just.

[A]

How is this. This going viral?

[B]

You did the best.

[A]

How is that going viral? I've asked you. I asked you, and you guys just wanted to watch.

[B]

You did a really good job with everything that you were given.

[A]

And then Shane was like, to make it secret menu item, you need to mix the shamrock with chocolate. You think I remembered to do that?

[B]

No. You just heard of the shamrock.

[A]

I saw you. You didn't. You can. You can add stuff here, though. There's three other here. Nobody wanted to save me.

[B]

There were so many layers to protecting you.

[A]

You guys were all at the office too. You guys are just letting me sink. I was gonna go to Chick Fil A, you guys.

[B]

Well, you guys, we all wanted to go to Chick Fil A. And we all know why we're not there right now. Because Chris wanted to make chicken and to ruin me publicly. I said, let's go. You can go. Chris said, you're not dealing with enough. We need to give you a scandal. He said, order me a chicken wrap and throw it at me.

[A]

It is my favorite emoji in my phone to this. But if you need to add anything, by the way, you can add it right here. I can even add it right here?

[B]

Yeah, Chris, add it.

[A]

That doesn't make any sense. If you're missing a thing, I forget stuff. And you better believe I forgot my wallet. So this is not going on my business card. It's going on my person. No, I have it on. I have my regular on my Apple phone, but it's not my business card. So now all this money's to waste. Oh, God. Other card. But you can add.

[B]

Spencer has the other card.

[A]

That's Shane's money.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[A]

We can't make this Shane's problem. No, he tried to make this a solution.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Are you gonna add the chocolate thing here? I don't know that I care.

[B]

Just do it. Just do it. Just add the chocolate.

[A]

I know, but it's not. That's a made up secret menu item. And we fell on the first secret menu item. So shouldn't we. This is. So what if we're like. This is us admitting. Hey, guys. If you clicked on this video to find a secret menu item, you got tricked your stupid ass. You idiots. Regular shamrock shake. Hello. Special for you. All right. Yes. You haven't. What are you doing for the. The combo? Oh, could I upgrade it to a chocolate shake or just a chocolate. Okay.

[B]

Idiot.

[A]

And that's all. So you've never seen this before? Yeah. You want a And the Shay or no. What you want to we and the Shay or no. Just chocolate ice cream. Yeah. Or I don't know. You're ordering a chocolate shake though. 45 or. Okay, we're going to get three chocolate Monday. Happy Monday. Thank you. You've never seen. Seen this before, huh? You've never seen this before. This is what I was trying to create. There are 75 people behind this. Thank you. Thank you. It's like it says, it's going viral. Anyone can write that. You can write that about anything. Spencer's going viral. You know what? Where we wrote.

[B]

Why do you think we have them on the pod?

[A]

We wrote this on the. We wrote this on the title of this show. See how anyone can do it.

[B]

Oh, my God, we're such liars. And we're part of the problem.

[A]

How are you? For you. No thanks. Oh, I see those shamrock shakes. You know what? We'll count our blessings. The shake machine is working today, period. Also, I apologize. It seems like we're getting a shamrock. Thank you. Well, there's no. No, we got a chocolate to mix in it. Yes. Thank you, everybody. Everyone just. Oh, wait, I only got three.

[B]

Don't care.

[A]

Oh, okay. Lizzy's only here because I enticed her with a pedicure after this.

[B]

I'm so hungry, though.

[A]

I'm so, so hungry. We should have got something that you wanted to eat.

[B]

I don't think I can eat anything here without getting sick.

[A]

Okay, thank you. So we're all going to try our shamrock shakes individually. And then after that, we're going to pour a little bit of chocolate in.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Well, not you.

[B]

Oh,

[A]

I don't remember if I. Oh,

[B]

I should take these off. As if we're not gonna thumbnail when we get back.

[A]

Yeah, we are. Okay, let's try it, you guys. Oh, there's like a lever. Do I look cool in this here? Maybe. Yeah, pull that maybe.

[B]

Are they trying to escape?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, they're trying to escape. I'm trying to escape. We should

[B]

lunch. No. 1 honey crispy and a medium fries.

[A]

Perfect. Thank you. We should have got Oreos in this. Screwed the chocolate.

[B]

Are we really gonna try and do this right now?

[A]

We'll make a quesadilla in this car. Can you guys just be fun?

[B]

Can I just eat one of the cheeseburgers?

[A]

We're gonna quesadilla in this car, you guys. Everyone needs to be fun. I change my tone.

[B]

He did. That was the funnest town.

[A]

Spencer's probably the funnest one. Here. If we're being honest, I mean, you have a kid. We're not fun. We have kids.

[B]

I'm fun with my kids.

[A]

Okay? That's a different kind of fun. I'm fun with my kids, too.

[B]

You hate your children.

[A]

I love my children.

[B]

You were like, they are not fun.

[A]

There was one week that was really rough, and this weekend we had a lot of fun.

[B]

You left this weekend for 23 hours.

[A]

Wait, so did everyone like the Shamrock Shake screen?

[B]

No.

[A]

You don't deserve a fry.

[B]

I want a fry.

[A]

You just said, I hate my kids. Look at this. Oh, it's so good.

[B]

You love your children.

[A]

Thank you. Oh, it's good. They're really warm. They, like, just came out the slammer. And there's good salt.

[B]

There's good salt on them. Usually they're not salted enough.

[A]

I haven't tried the hot honey menu either. I think Chris has. I liked it a lot back when he was eating on YouTube.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

I still am sure you stopped eating. He stopped. It's just every other week he's on a hunger strike. Joe, Chick Fil a loves gay people. Okay, so this is going to be really disgusting because we're going to.

[B]

Should I just eat one of them?

[A]

No.

[B]

What are you.

[A]

You can eat the honey McCrispy.

[B]

Nobody wants that.

[A]

I want it. Are you kidding me? Let's see what's in here.

[B]

Oh, it's a hot honey McCrispy.

[A]

Hot honey bacon McCrispy. Wow. Did you already try this before, Chris? Do you want me to cut a piece off for you? I already tried it. Thank you, though.

[B]

What is this?

[A]

It's all you guys. Jalapeno. There's. Oh, you picked off the jalapeno.

[B]

I thought it was a stick.

[A]

I want to know what you guys think. Do we? We probably don't have a knife in here, huh? You want me to run in and grab one? It's okay. Whoever doesn't want to eat that for us, then? I mean, I don't know if this is crazy, but you can use this. Use that. Really? Yeah, use it, use it, use it. Oh, my God. We'll cut it in force and then we'll become bloodbrothers. Be careful. It's very. It's very, very, very sharp. I'm. With my luck, I'll cut through to the Tesla.

[B]

Period.

[A]

No, that's not a period. I'm all about. I'm all about making a mess, but I'm not going to cut the fucking interior. Interior. I'm gonna cut it on the ground.

[B]

Are you going to put it on the ground outside?

[A]

It's gonna have cardboard. Film me. Film me.

[B]

I can't.

[A]

We can't trust him. No, I can do it.

[B]

I swear I can do it. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[A]

Give me another chance.

[B]

I can't see.

[A]

You can't. No.

[B]

Move a little further out. Go out there. Move a little further out.

[A]

Go out there. Hold on. I have a phone too.

[B]

Chris is going out there just to hit unrecord. Zing. This is all out of focus. It's so. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know if this is gonna look. This is gonna look insane.

[B]

There it is. Now we become blood brothers.

[A]

Yes. Good job. We're facing the drive thru. So everyone in the drive through just saw Rylan get out with a big ass knife, cut his shit on the floor while the hot honey is dripping.

[B]

I got the job.

[A]

Yeah, we still have to. Okay, okay. Oh, wow. There's kind of fire. Yeah, there's mayo dripping out.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

Elizabeth, is it my fault or the

[B]

guy who didn't cut it good?

[A]

Well, at least I put effort into cutting it. It's true. Now you're gonna make Spencer build his own.

[B]

No, I'm building it.

[A]

Thanks. I was actually hoping you would touch all my pieces. That wasn't really like. That was a little mean. No, it was. It wasn't. Okay, cheer. Oh, do you want. Do you want this last build a piece? Don't worry, Chris.

[B]

I touched none of it.

[A]

The honey dripping out of it really does look incredible. Oh, God. Is it? Mm. I mean, I don't know that I believe. Dump that crap. No, it's good. The ranch with the hot honey is nice. That's fire.

[B]

I wish we had gotten a Diet Coke.

[A]

Wow, it is really good. Actually, as good as I remember. I think it's way better than. Honestly, I'm not a Big Mac person. It's too much bread. I agree. I'm not. I don't.

[B]

The sauce, to me is disgusting.

[A]

I don't hate doing the Big Mac. Well, because. Viral. I forgot it's viral. This podcast is about viral foods. Don't forget it. What about the sauce on this one? Oh, incredible. Like ranch and hot honey. Oh, me up. I could eat ranch and hot honey every day. I thought you said something else. What? I can't repeat it on air? Okay. Yeah, that menu is good. They nailed it. Oh, my God. That. Yeah. Good job, guys. Wash it down with the fry. Nice little giggles said, Chris. It's such a treat.

[B]

Such a treat.

[A]

That is one of the better fast food items we've had in a very long time.

[B]

This guy in his Mazda with the

[A]

top down and his bass pro hat is a vibe. Wow, he's really living. Shamrock shakes are good.

[B]

They are.

[A]

Don't you wish there was an Oreo though? I do. Do you want to stick your shrine?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Should we start dumping the chocolate shake in or what? Yeah, I'm gonna have to.

[B]

Should we split the chocolate shake up with that knife?

[A]

Okay. I'll let Chris explore first. Just pour some in. Explore.

[B]

So what we're doing now is making the Thin Mint experience.

[A]

Yes. This is a viral hack to make the girls. This episode is chock full of viral hacks. It really is a viral hack. Okay, this feels more like a real viral hack. Not asking McDonald's to make you a quesadilla and just saying no. I know. And normally she loves me. Not today she seemed like she was a little. Stir that up or what? Yeah, I don't know if I put enough. We'll see. Oh, how have you have your phone? I wish I could dump a little of this out. Oh, I love it so much more than I ever could. Wait, really? Okay. Spencer here.

[B]

So you also like the cat's eye thing last week?

[A]

I did. Really? I wanted another. You're sick.

[B]

That thing was so gross.

[A]

I'm back.

[B]

I'm back.

[A]

Okay, now we have the proper mixing ratios. Maybe I didn't put enough, but I'm really into this. So it is like a thick mint, right? That's the gag.

[B]

That's the virality.

[A]

It's so good. That's why this thing is going absolutely crazy viral. I wonder if I should gift you those. They look really good on you.

[B]

I don't know if that's true, but I do feel cooler.

[A]

If you went to mommy and me and those. Those girls would be intimidated by you.

[B]

I think they already are. That's just because I show up and I sound like I'm dying of the plague and they're like, stay away.

[A]

It ruins the color. I will say that, but visually does ruin the color. Is it gray? I have a nice gradient going on before the storm, but it's very good. Can I get a little more chocolate?

[B]

Oh, I've been dipping fries in it.

[A]

Oh, that's okay. Oh, no. But you can get more chocolate. Actually, that is really good. Let me dip before I send it back. This is officially viral confirmed. This might be the most fun I've ever had with you guys. Thank you. Wow, the chocolate, really? They should advertise you didn't even mix yours. You know, this is actually really good. I'm big on pulling up.

[B]

Can I mix it?

[A]

Yeah, go for it.

[B]

I'll pull up.

[A]

Okay. This is really working for me. I don't know how you guys are going to be sanitary back there, but here's your ingredients. Is there a napkin by any chance? Wouldn't you hope so? Okay. That is good.

[B]

It is exhausting the way that you have to pull up and down, though, with your method.

[A]

Well, just mix it all together then. Not everyone has to suffer like I choose to. So we're. We're just opening the tortilla and putting everything. Well, we got to dump the ingredients of the. We just got to get the tortilla first. Oh, but we could keep the lettuce, actually. Does anyone want the chicken finger? And just take everything out? You could eat the contents. I'll eat the chicken finger. Honestly. You leave all of that? Yeah. Everything else. Okay. I'm basically keto

[B]

then.

[A]

Do we take the buns off of this? Yes, you just get the meat and the innards. Gosh, a McDonald's cheeseburger. Do you want me to just take

[B]

a bite of it?

[A]

Although. So unreal.

[B]

Let me just have a bite of it.

[A]

How could you not? Did we get the Big Mac sauce on the side? No, we didn't.

[B]

Yeah, we did.

[A]

Right there. Yes, Spencer, we did.

[B]

They're on the dash next to the hunting knife.

[A]

Oh, and we got the pickles and everything.

[B]

A cheeseburger with extra cheese.

[A]

Really? Here it really is. Oh, that looks good.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Insane. If I just eat the bun.

[B]

No.

[A]

How are we making the bun that

[B]

has the cheese on it? Yeah, wrap the bun that has the cheese on it around your extra piece of chicken.

[A]

I hate that.

[B]

Oh, good for you.

[A]

Wait, what are you guys doing? I'm making a big. I'm making. It's a quesadilla.

[B]

Girlfriend, you are being gross.

[A]

No, I'm. I know.

[B]

Look at what Spencer did that.

[A]

I didn't break up the patty. Well, it's not a Crunch Wrap quesadilla.

[B]

But why are you.

[A]

Because he's making a crunch wrap. And we'll let him do his thing and I'll do my thing.

[B]

What do you think the difference is?

[A]

A quesadilla is folded. A crunch wrap is. You don't know. Do we not have a knife?

[B]

No, we have the hunting knife.

[A]

I mean, it's. Do you want to hunt? Do you trust me? I. Oh, you should probably do it on the floor if you're cutting. No, I don't trust you.

[B]

Do it.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Take it to the streets.

[A]

Okay. Do we have another napkin by chance? More so, because. No, I do have a napkin.

[B]

Yeah?

[A]

Yeah, I found some. What if you just lightly press down rather than cut? I just don't trust it. It's so sharp. And Shane would actually kill me. Like, spilling food all over his car is one thing, but cutting his interior is a whole nother.

[B]

Shane's really not cool about interior.

[A]

See this on the ground? Yeah. I hope someone's filming all of them.

[B]

Chris, that's on you. I'm holding things. You're the camera guy. No, on the outside.

[A]

I'm saying. I'm saying in the McDonald's. That's a hilarious. Okay, okay, so you'll see here. Should we made a quesadilla.

[B]

Not to be confused with the crunch wrap.

[A]

So. I'm sorry. Hold on. Wait a minute. Okay, we did do it. I guess I might need to cut mine too. Why don't you want some? No.

[B]

I watched you pick it apart with your little fingers.

[A]

I hand sanitized like crazy before, but also. Then get away from me. Thank you. Spencer. I don't want anything to do with you.

[B]

No, but I'm allergic to the Big Mac sauce.

[A]

Oh, and I dumped it all over. I do think I want it for the middle, though. Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah.

[B]

Bring it apart.

[A]

Bring it out. No, I got to cut it off. This is so much work for such a disgusting thing. For something so delicious. Feeling so viral. Yeah.

[B]

Thought he was getting lunch.

[A]

Can. Can I get the knife, please? Yes. Thank you. How did it get red? Did something spill here?

[B]

It's red.

[A]

Something red spilled in here. I don't know what. See what I'm saying?

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Are you menstruating?

[A]

I'm not. Okay. Wow. The viral quesadilla from McDonald's that they're all talking about. The only thing that would be better is if they would have pressed it for us. Yep.

[B]

I don't think they press anything in in McDonald's. What's the vibe? Yucky.

[A]

Is this what it was supposed to be? Yeah, it's fine.

[B]

They're eating theirs like burritos. They're eating theirs like burritos. Get the out of this car.

[A]

Shut up. You know what would be better?

[B]

What?

[A]

The burger version that you took a bite of. So much better.

[B]

Anything else?

[A]

You guys, this is viral. Hey, guys, make sure to smash that, like, button for this viral moment.

[B]

Viral.

[A]

Feels good to be so viral. It's okay.

[B]

Every time you say that, I'm thinking about, like, every time there's been a horrible virus like hiv. Every time I hear it, I'm just like, oh. Every virus I could name, I just think of every time.

[A]

All I can taste is a tortilla. It's like, very strong flavored. I do kind of want to rebuild the burger.

[B]

I know it's devastating that you destroyed such a good burger. I know a bite of it before you it up. No, it was really good with the extra cheese.

[A]

Their tortillas are, like, aggressive. Say they're the best part of the thing.

[B]

Yeah, but it is really fun that something's going viral. That's so awful.

[A]

That is so fun. I don't think it's bad. It's just. It's just the burger is better.

[B]

Did you guys see Cat's Eyes breaking up after our review of their shitty smoothies?

[A]

No. Are they after our smoothie?

[B]

They said enough's enough.

[A]

They held on for the Erewhon collab.

[B]

Yeah, or it broke them.

[A]

Is it just press? Didn't you even not know what they were last time? Shut up.

[B]

Also, I don't think they're K pop. I think they're an American band.

[A]

Oh, this keeps getting worse. I literally have no idea who they are. To this day, I still don't know. I. I cannot.

[B]

I'm pretty. One of their members is taking, like, a physical and mental health break.

[A]

That's going to be me soon. You didn't laugh, Elizabeth.

[B]

It's a girl group based in Los Angeles. Yeah, not K Pop.

[A]

They don't sing in Korean or anything.

[B]

Well, let me look.

[A]

Well, you guys, that was so fun and I'm so glad that you got to join us on this viral excursion. I hope you enjoyed it as much as we did.

[B]

Oh, I think they are K pop.

[A]

They are.

[B]

What the is K pop? If they're based in Los Angeles, I

[A]

think they do they sing in Korean. You can still form a K pop band physically in la. Thank you guys so much.

[B]

It's K Pop inspired.

[A]

It's an.

[B]

It's K pop inspired international girl group. The whole call.

[A]

All of this. Okay, well, stop making it uncuttable.

[B]

Quick, someone throw something at Chris.

[A]

Oh, my God. There's cheese down here. All right, you guys, thank you so much for watching and supporting our show. Everyone's on the Internet in some capacity. You can find it using the links capacity. You can find it in the links down in the description section below.

[B]

Make sure you're following Spencer on instagram.

[A]

Please. Guys, that is really. Take anything away from this episode, from the last five that I've been on to the end. Guys, I'm sorry. I've been on the last five episodes. If you want more Spino snakey, who isn't? We should do a poll, and if they overwhelmingly say, do you want Spencer in the next episode? It's just. No. No. Let us know if you want Spencer in the next episode. We're currently facing two alpaca tiktokers. How do you know? Oh, they're.

[B]

You're calling their hair.

[A]

They have. The little earrings are. Really? You don't know that?

[B]

What? What's super gnarly about her?

[A]

You can spot an alpaca tiktoker from a mile away.

[B]

I didn't know that was a thing, but I get it. I see it.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, are our kids gonna do

[B]

that with their hair?

[A]

Not if we can do anything about it.

[B]

These kids seem like they're out in the wild on their own. I know. I made eye contact. I'm staring.

[A]

Cute little guys, huh?

[B]

They are cute. They are cute little guys.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There. Are they in there?

[A]

I bet they're dick twerkers. Dworkers.

[B]

You don't have hair like that and not wiggle your dick on the Internet.

[A]

Well, when bad bunny shakes his dick, I've learned it's dwer twerking. Is that what it's called? Dick twerking? It's called dwerking. Wow, that name needs a little bit of dwork. Yes. A little pump for the end of the episode. All right, you guys, thank you so much for watching.

[B]

These guys are showing them their phone too. They're like, have you had this quesadilla? Should I ask, are you guys looking for the viral quesadilla? We'll make one for you.

[A]

You know what's crazy is it looks like they're getting a little more help than we did.

[B]

It's because they're cuter than us.

[A]

Yep, definitely to be cute and young in a tank top and calabasas. No, that's. That's not okay. Don't ask that about anyone else. What do you think they're doing? Like, what's on their agenda today?

[B]

Should we keep pointing?

[A]

No, because this is.

[B]

These guys.

[A]

His teeth are straight too, and they're white. Every time he turns around, I'm like, can you stop? You're whining.

[B]

He locked eyes and he smiled. I thought, ooh.

[A]

Well, thought you could have a third kid, huh?

[B]

No, but I did think maybe he could be my child. Look at that smile.

[A]

What does that mean? They're getting so much attention.

[B]

That means I want to be his mom.

[A]

Like, see, I see. I've never been attended to better.

[B]

Like, honestly, if we were more pleasant.

[A]

They got like four employees helping them.

[B]

Literally.

[A]

They got the quesadilla. They got the viral hack. We need to get in their car.

[B]

They grill pressed their viral hack quesadilla.

[A]

I feel like I need to stop them now.

[B]

Excuse me, should we just have. What? What are you getting?

[A]

Children.

[B]

Stop. Sir.

[A]

Let's. Let's see. They are like ever.

[B]

We're listening.

[A]

I'm going to go up there and be like, did you make them the viral. Like, no, sir. We were helping them with a coupon.

[B]

Did you give them a virus? Look, they left with nothing.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Follow them.

[B]

Follow them home.

[A]

Follow them. Let's go. Let's go. They're in a new BMW too. TikTok's really working out for them.

[B]

Or it's their mom's car.

[A]

It's daddy's car. Yeah, I think Tik Tok's working out for them. What?

[B]

Probably the mom.

[A]

Yeah, Spencer, the mom. The mom. That's what I was going to say.

[B]

Who breastfed both of their needy asses and went to work?

[A]

Who do you think's supporting their whole family?

[B]

The mom, Spencer.

[A]

Okay, I've learned a lot about feminism. Nobody will teach you feminism quite like Elizabeth Gordon. That is probably a true statement.

[B]

I had to go inside.

[A]

Should we go confront them?

[B]

We should confront the fuck out of them.

[A]

We don't know what we're confronting you for, but we're confronting you.

[B]

You young boys.

[A]

We're vlogging.

[B]

Are you twerking? We notice you have beautiful smiles. Who paid for that car?

[A]

You're dead. Dad.

[B]

Or your mom. Is your dad even employed? With hair like that, I have to assume you don't have a strong father figure. Hang this up before it gets worse for me.

[A]

Okay. And that's a sip.