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This is really hard for me to say, Chris, I hate him.
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And imagine how that feels for me. This is actually not cool.
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It's like that. Oh, wow. Was media trained. This was a valentine for a burrito.
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I don't want to beat this person. It's never a bad day when In N Out's involved.
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I would never isolate an entire community of people. I put a cigarette out on my
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own butt, and that's a sip.
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I do a bootleg version where I'm just filming on my phone the whole time.
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Yeah, last week, you spoiled the sip.
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What?
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You literally took the sips. Thumbnail. Like, unedited.
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Oh, my God. No, no, that was a mistake. And that honestly wouldn't have even happened if you hadn't intruded on my selfie. I was taking a solo photo of myself to send my husband so that he would want to F U C K M E. And there you go, popping your little gay face in there like it's your birthday or something.
B
A lot of complicated things we need to unpack there. Okay. Like your husband wants to. It's been how long?
A
Who knows? Years? Maybe a decade.
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He's. I don't want to beat this person.
A
What?
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But if you don't sleep with him soon, he's gonna find somewhere to sleep with and it's gonna be.
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And you're gonna be. He's gonna find a hole and it's gonna be yours.
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No, I'm.
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I don't know. It just feels like that's what the threat is. No, it feels like you're threatening me. You said I don't want to be this person, but I will be.
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I'm threatening a different woman upon him every week.
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You talk about how much you're enjoy.
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So.
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I don't know. I'm just reading between the lines.
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Just because he's sticking up for me.
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I don't know why you made that also sound so fun.
B
So why are you. Spermicidal loop. That's something I've never heard of before.
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Because you don't need it.
B
Okay. Drag me. What? What is it? Stop looking at my whitehead. That's not a herpe.
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I can't.
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We've discovered it's a whitehead. If you look close. If you zoom in, Ryland is coming
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on and identifying as not a cold sore. Cold sore. Who. Whose pronouns are whitehead.
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Can you look close?
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No, I'm not gonna get close.
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Well, I'm gonna kiss you then.
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Don't. You're married.
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I'm gonna get close to your husband.
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See, this is what I'm talking about. Every week, he talks about getting closer and closer to Joe.
B
Well, no, I just think I want to pop it, but then I'm afraid what will happen if I pop it.
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I don't think you should. I think this is something you need to handle, like, with God.
B
Well, the worst place to have a zit. Yeah. In your nose.
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Oh, in. In your. In your ear or on your lip. You know what?
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It's.
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I'm gonna be really candid right now.
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Oh, vagina.
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I'm gonna. No, no. God.
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Can you get those?
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Probably skin, right?
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I don't know. I've never had a butt zit. Not that I.
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That's where I was gonna go. I was gonna do one of those.
B
Kind of just like a hemorrhoid, right?
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I can hear Brook saying, I don't think so. I can hear Brooke saying, you made a choice. You didn't have to share that on the Internet. You decided to do that. No, I can hear break in the ether.
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We did, but when. This is our job. We didn't decide anything.
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No, I'm literally sharing this story because it's gonna pay my rent.
B
Okay, so tell us all about it.
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When I was in high school, I had a huge pimple on my butt. Like, a really, really big one. Like, bigger than you could possibly imagine.
B
Like, bigger than this. This.
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That's nothing. That's nothing.
B
Well, you saw it then. The second I stepped out of my
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car, she's like, I think the under. I think underneath my butt zit was, like, at least this wide. Like, I'm not even exaggerating. You guys think I'm lying all the time. I'm never lying.
B
You've never lied before, ever. Not since she's been sober.
A
Pyramid. And that's sticker bending on business. No, it was big as. The point is, I'm not. I'm not exaggerating. How large?
B
Like, where? Like, on the cheek.
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On the cheek? Okay, so, like, this is the cheek. It's, like, right in the middle of it. And the pus that came out of it was absurd.
B
Were you, like, bending over a mirror trying to pop it?
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Rylan, I was so mortified by this. I was so mortified by this. But I was also, like, for some reason, finding myself in a multitude of situations where, like, people were made aware of it, and it's like, girl, just keep yourself. Keep your pants on. Like, why are you taking your pants off in front of your friends all the time? Like, put your fudgeing pants on, bitch.
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I Can't imagine.
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You know what?
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I overshare.
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Do you know what I said? I did?
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What?
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I put a cigarette out on my own butt is what I said. Which I realize I've said on this podcast before. That was true too. That was a different thing, though. That was. That was a Botox related accident. But I didn't know what else to say because it was just such a big crater and wound that I was like the only way to just like disguise this is just to say, like, I put a cigarette out on my butt.
B
Were you wearing booty shorts that revealed it or why?
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No, but it's like if you're changing in front of your girlfriends or something, I'd be like, look at this. You know, I'm embarrassed by it. So I'm calling attention to it and I'm like 17 and drunk.
B
Is that what I'm doing with my lips? Did you. But you know.
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So it is a culture.
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Well, no, I'm just saying, like, I, I couldn't tell if you were focal. Focally zoomed into it.
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I was.
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Okay, so then I wasn't just. No, you could tell I wasn't just. I was secure in talking about it.
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No, I. You should have been insecure because I was doing this, still looking at it, like, I can't stop looking.
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And I kept thinking, well, I'm going to pop it.
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I was going to ask, did you bite your lip? Like, I was going to open the door for you eventually. Because I couldn't spend the whole day
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staring at it because I be this girl. But I do blame the new face sunscreens. I keep trying because I'm trying to find a match and I can't shut up about it because I'm not really prone to breakouts. But for some reason, whatever is in face sunscreens breaks me out. And so I keep trying new ones. The rheumatologist keeps telling me that's when you didn't break you out. Then it breaks me out. And because I was in the sun a lot last weekend, I like, was using a lot of face sunscreen.
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Put dog into the mic.
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So I blame face sunscreen.
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Huh.
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Okay, that's it.
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All right.
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That's it.
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I'm still looking at it.
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And then when I don't, I still got burnt. And I just, like, at 35, it's not cute to be burnt anymore because that's going to turn into skin damage.
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Well, it actually all turned into skin damage a long time ago. And this is just, you know, this. Will you in like, 20 years.
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Isn't that awful?
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Yeah.
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So we really need to be protecting our skin because I'm trying to look right for as long as possible.
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What's so annoying is, like, you just do look right. You're just a handsome man.
B
Yeah, but we're. We're brisk and 35. Like, at 55, sun damage won't be super cute.
A
I don't know, dude. Every time I. I'll be like, deep, deep, deep, lurking you on the Internet, like, looking at old, old pictures, I'm like, damn, he was so hot.
B
Was.
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And then, see, and that's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking was like, this was. This was a good. Like, he was so hot back then. And then, like. And then I think, oh, damn, like, because the was echoes for me too. And it's like, oh, how sad. And then I look at you, like, 20 minutes previous to that point in time, like, literally, like, of that day, and I'm like, no, this man's just hot.
B
I think both of us are aging gracefully.
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I mean, some more than others.
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You popped out two kids, and I still think you're looking right. I think you were. Well, I don't want a body shape.
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Were you about to body shave me?
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No. You're in. In your 20s. Like, you were, like, sickly, like.
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Yeah, I mean, well, I was like a drug addict.
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Oh, okay.
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Yeah.
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Well, like.
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And that'll do it.
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I would just. I don't want to say, like. I don't know if that's, like, triggering or offensive to say, but you were, like, too skinny.
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Agreed. I was a drug addict.
B
Okay.
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Yeah. And that'll do it.
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So I think you look way better now.
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Thank you. I concur.
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Way better.
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I mean, I think I. I was looking right with the Lord. Maybe, like, three years ago.
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The Lord blessed you with two beautiful children.
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No. And I don't give a. One of the best things about this postpartum is I don't give a.
B
What happened at the park the other day? Well, you told me, like, you had an encounter with a mom that made you want to die so much so that you were ready to move.
A
Oh, I don't think we should talk about it.
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Really?
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Yeah,
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Because you know me. I'm down in the OC for my birthday, having a fabulous getaway. My husband really dipped it. The thing for my birthday. That man always does. And I keep begging him, like, just stop. I was. I even thought the vacation. The vacation is extravagant enough, so I thought just that, like, let's just spend Great quality time together. And we did do that. But then he also went nuts, and
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it's just like, what else did he go nuts on?
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I mean, the whole birthday set up, the presents treating me right.
A
The birthday setup was so cute.
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Well, he did like Ralph Lauren inspired. But then he went it. The. He said the balloons mismatched the theme. But he said, well, if I did the balloons in Ralph Lauren theme, I thought it might have been a little depressing. Yeah, he's like, the theme is like a brighter, like, more happy birthday theme up top and then Ralph Lauren down on bottom with the presents.
A
But I also liked the mismatching of it.
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Yeah, it was cute. Yeah. So, I mean, he just dipped. Did the damn thing.
A
I loved the cowboy wrapping.
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Oh, yeah.
A
That was so cute.
B
Very cute. And. And that man. The shows some love the way that a person will take time to wrap a gift. Each one is meticulously wrapped in a way that each gift, you know, took five plus minutes to wrap.
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I think his love language. Oh, God. He just has, like. He's like quad lingo in love languages, though.
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But.
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Because I was gonna say his love language is gifts, but it's like, it's not. It does. The buck doesn't stop there.
B
No, it doesn't. I got very, very lucky with that man. And so then we're down in the OC and of course, I'm like, bopping around the open house. It's just because I have to see how people are living, you know? And the OC does have to.
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It's a compulsion.
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I mean, I have to.
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He has to.
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I literally cannot not. And it is different down there. Like, it's crazy. Yeah, you're just. Because here, there's Malibu, but Malibu is more isolated. It's more rural. Rural and less a lot. It really is.
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I couldn't even go about spelling it. Don't even. No, I literally couldn't. No, I physically couldn't. I got into my head. I'm dead. It's like spell or die. And it's like down in our suckers.
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It's alive. It's. You can walk to the beach in two seconds. You can walk to dinner, a million coffee shops. There's so much to do. And it just, like everywhere by the ocean, there's cliffside bluffs that you're just walking along that are beautifully manicured. And it's like, where have I stumbled upon? Yeah, it's gorgeous. And so, of course, I was just like, oh. After a martini, I told Lizzie, like, I'm moving Here. She said, I'll come with you because I had a horrible encounter at the bar.
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I'm packing my bags.
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So what happened?
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Oh, I really can't talk.
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Okay.
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I just don't like most people, I think.
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I mean, who does?
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I was. I was stung by a bee.
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And that is the craziest ever. You have superhuman powers.
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I know.
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And we need to be careful around you.
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You should.
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I don't even know if you should be a woman with a podcast because you're too strong.
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I'm very powerful.
B
Last week, we were filming after sip before the show, and she goes, oh, my gift for you is just a gift for you. It's not for camera. And I was already rolling on the after sip. I was like, I'm gonna roll it on the after sip. Everything worked beautifully that day. Only that one clip. That one individual clip that she said was not for camera. No audio crazy. No audio crazy. Later in that same after sip, she's talking about her intense fear of bees. That. I have a picture out of nowhere.
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Yeah.
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And two days later, Jetson, my son. My son gets stung by a bee,
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and I. I was also stung by a b. If that makes you feel better.
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It makes me feel better in the validation that you're a super freak.
A
You know, here's the other thing that I know. We are the luckiest girls in the world. Shane sold his TV show. You're a regular actor on it.
B
He has not officially.
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No. No, I'm manifesting. But it's, you know, as I speak it, so shall it be.
B
Thank you very much. As the most powerful person in the world, that is the kind of energy. Thank much.
A
You're welcome.
B
And so how did this bee sting find you?
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Joe was chasing after a big boy, and then my big little boy started following at the park, and I. So I just.
B
What do you mean? Ernie can't follow anyone?
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No. Another boy was running after a dog, and the other mom couldn't protect him. So I said, joe, get that kid.
B
Okay?
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Because, you know, the dogs are probably nice, but we don't know. And no matter what, somebody should be with that kid. So Joe's running after that kid. I left Ernie on the picnic blanket because Billy started darting after Joe. And I want Joe to be outnumbered by both kids and dogs.
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Yeah.
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Do you know what I mean?
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Yeah.
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So on my way there, I get. I'm like, oh, frick. What was that? And I thought it was just a needle at first. Not like a. Like a drug needle, but like a tree needle, you know?
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Cuz we have pine needle.
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Yeah. So I go to pull it out and it's a bee stinger. And then immediately my foot's throbbing like a. I can't continue to run after to save my kid. I'm like, well, okay.
B
Did you get the stinger out?
A
I did. I took the stinger out right away. It hurt really bad. But I was with like the group of second time moms, so I can't be myself. And you know, when I'm injured, I like to be awful. So I had to like contrary, like contain.
B
Really?
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Yeah.
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I would have fallen apart.
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I tried to one of them. I was like, I just stepped on. I like, I like one of her, I was like, I just stepped on a fucking bee. She was like, oh my God, are you okay? And I was like, no, I'm livid and full of rage. And she went, oh.
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And I was like, we're not friends with her. That's all.
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This is why I can move to the O.C.
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okay.
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Like, not to be like the worst, but like, that's why I have to leave this. Like, what? I was like, I'm full of ra.
B
Oh,
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okay. Are you not. She's trying to like, whose side are you on? Mine are the bees.
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If a stranger told me they just got stung by a bee, I was, I would be like, can I help you get the stinger out? Do you need something?
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Well, what do you need?
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Maybe I have it in my car.
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I just need like a mob mentality. Like I need everybody that be. I'm like, I want you pulling out your pepper spray. I want another mom grabbing some other DIY weapon that she's got in her bag. Like, we're going to war and these bees are gonna die.
B
And people say hi to you in the OC you're walking along, nobody says
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hi in L. A. I just.
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Oh gosh. Waking up, like grabbing my coffee and then walking on the bluff side looking at the ocean. It's just different. It hits you different, you just feel different.
A
I mean, it's. I don't think the beach is for me, but I would like to go to the beach with you.
B
But a lot of these walkways are above the beach, so that's just your view, your vantage point. Instead of like depressing nothing.
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I grew up in Santa Cruz, which is a beach town, and I used to just put blankets over the windows and hang out in my room.
B
You're still doing that. Let's literally steal your life so you don't need anything but a dark, cold Room. But not too cold. Not too cold, but cold enough.
A
Yeah, cold enough where I can enjoy my heating pad and be underneath a. A comforter at the same time. A down comforter.
B
I had an awful encounter with dogs too. There's this one group of dogs that always get out in my neighborhood and they're not chill dogs. They're dogs that when they stand, are to my nipple.
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Oh my God. Huge nipple length dogs. No, like nipple height, nipple height dogs.
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I mean their head, not their head, not their whole.
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So they're kind of like an average sized dog.
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Riley. No, when they're standing.
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Yeah.
B
What?
A
Huh?
B
Riley's like down to my knees.
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Right?
B
And your dogs are like down.
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Riley, standing is on your knees.
B
Oh my God. I'm with stupid. It's a big dog. It's like 100 pound dog. My dogs are probably like 60 pounds.
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Okay.
B
You like love dogs. You're not available for this.
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I would never hate on a tall dog.
B
Well, no, I'm just saying.
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You mean standing on all fours, the motherfuckers up to your nipples?
B
No.
A
When?
B
Oh, yes. It's just not up to.
A
Because I was gonna say your dog standing on two are for sure. Past your nipples.
B
Okay.
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On all four. Okay.
B
The head probably lands around my nipple. It's a huge dog.
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That's a big dog.
B
It's like a horse dog.
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Yeah. Is it a Great Dane? I don't know. I mean, you would know.
B
Well, I don't know.
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Is it really your nipples or is this hyperbole? It's a big fucking dog. Are you the liar? I don't know.
B
Two huge dogs, okay? They're always out and I'm always trying to get them back to their house. And I'm only walking like 30 minutes of a 24 hour day. And the. The fact that I encounter these dogs out in the wild at least once a week means these people need to fix.
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They're out all the fucking time.
B
And we live next to a busy street. I mean a busy street one street away. And so they're out and like chart 200 pound dogs charging me and my two dogs. And so I just start screaming. I'm like, no, no, no.
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Feet up.
B
Yes. Because I didn't like you had your hands. My dogs are friendly, but when dogs are on a leash and two are charging.
A
Yeah.
B
So I just. Gravy at the top of my lungs didn't work.
A
Oh, what did they do?
B
They just stopped and I just kept screaming and then my voice hurt because I was screaming so much and nobody in my neighborhood came to save me and I just thought like, yes, I want to save these dogs lives, but like, how many times can I save these dogs lives before their owners save their dogs.
A
Nasty to your owners and start beef with them.
B
Well, I'm already annoyed by these people.
A
You look like we should probably go over there and be like, I don't like your dogs. And for some reason it seems like I care more about their lives than you do.
B
I know.
A
And I don't even like calling cps. Threaten to call cps.
B
How come they're not so much.
A
Yeah, put them inside. You fucking losers. Take care of your animals or we're calling CPS losers.
B
And then I had. And then I had to turn around and walk my dog walk backwards even though I was already 90% complete one because my dog walks a loop.
A
Yeah.
B
So then when I was 90% complete on the loop, I then had to turn back crazy 90 walk again. So I had to double my freaking walk.
A
If you want, we can skip the food segment even though I'm starving and we can just go get into a fist fight with these. Just beat them to death. Yeah, we'll bring our mics like that.
B
It also. So Shane got the most gorgeous hotel room in the world.
A
Okay. It looked like a home.
B
Oh, my God.
A
Was it big?
B
It was huge. It was gorgeous. And I kept telling him, we only need like, we're not going to be in the hotel room that much. Just get the small one. He dipped and did it. It turned out. I mean, it was so gorgeous. So incredible. The most haunted fucking room I've ever been in in my life. No, like, so haunted. And I didn't realize it until we were going to bed.
A
Can I laugh out loud at one of the texts he sent me to the audience?
B
Yeah, depending on what it is.
A
Well, I had this. Joe and I were driving and I went, oh my God, text me. He's like, Shane was screaming from his nightmares in his sleep all night. So I'm not resting well because she
B
woke up and she's like, I'm in 91 readiness. I'm ready to meet you at Disney and rage. And I said, well, I'm not doing great. Okay. Shane woke me up all night screaming in his dreams. Literally on multiple occasions. I wake up to Shane while he's dead asleep and I have to wake him up. And I'd be like, stop it. And he's like, I'm having really bad dreams. This place is.
A
And you're like, knock it off, knock it off.
B
And Then I was. I was acting like Elizabeth, and I said, ghost, you're not welcome here. I don't care if this is your home. This is temporarily my home. Can you get out of here? You're ruining my night.
A
Good for you.
B
Because I kept waking up because of it. Because he was haunting my husband. Shane, leave my husband alone.
A
I alone can haunt him.
B
In my dream, you. I was acting like a fucking Karen. And I was like, you need to move us rooms. We're in a nice room and we need to be moved.
A
You saw that?
B
And they moved us, but they moved us to, like, a shitty room. And they were like, but we're still gonna charge you for the full room because it's booked. This isn't my dream.
A
Oh.
B
And then the whole night, my dreams were me fighting with the hotel because I had acted like a Karen, calling their hotel room haunted. And then I wake up to you being, like, 91% ready to score. Let's go.
A
Well, then the next day, my readiness.
B
Is he attacking me here?
A
Probably. Are you hungry? I'm starving. Let's just go eat.
B
Let's just go.
A
Just go. Hang on. Joe texted me, and it makes me worried about my kid. My kid has a double ear infection. You have to let me check this.
B
I just stop you. It's not like it's much different than any other day, though.
A
Well, Joe and I have been watching. Oh, he's just having a great time.
B
Are they at Harry Potter World?
A
No, they're at Bubblegum Shrimp.
B
What? Oh, there's just raging on a Monday.
A
They're raging in matching hats at Universal.
B
Oh, wow. How can you be here right now, Joe?
A
I hate that I'm here. Joe texted. He said happy when we got here. Oh, I'm gonna start crying. I love my baby. Look at him in his little hat.
B
Oh, my God.
A
God, he's so good.
B
You need to go look.
A
Yeah, I have to go look at that. Are you joking?
B
You're gonna have to share with the class. No, we can't send it to Chris.
A
So cute.
B
You have to. I mean, okay, if you're gonna do this for four more minutes, then we have to send it. We have to share.
A
It's everything.
B
You post your baby every day now we can show Billy.
A
I literally don't post every day, but yeah, I'll send this to you, Chris, just so you can be in on it. I airdropped it.
B
Is the ghost still haunting your house or what? Tell me.
A
Don't talk about it anymore. No, we're done talking about It. I, for one, I was away. I didn't get any sleep last night. I didn't get. I'm gonna start crying right now. I don't want to talk about it.
B
He's coming to you, like, so scared.
A
I'm not kidding. Literally gonna start crying.
B
I'm so scared. He was so. Your readiness scores. What, today? I'm so pathetic.
A
I'm.
B
I'm so scared. I'm like, manically. Do you really? Okay, so you're done with the moms here, and you're done with your house here. We need to go.
A
And Billy broke the front window, so we really got to get out. This house was falling apart. Billy fell into the front window. And you know. You know how we have those, like, five foot tall windows shattered?
B
What do you mean, fell into the window? Is he that big to shatter a window?
A
Why are you big shaming him. He's advanced.
B
It's not like he jumped into the window. He just fell into it.
A
Okay. You chose those words really cruelly, really cool.
B
I just think it's so ironic that so many of you are so pressed and worried. I didn't know this was a milestone we were all tracking as parents. Like, when does your kid jump?
A
Who knows?
B
My kid are, like seven months older than your kids.
A
I'm sure, like nine months old.
B
Okay. So I'm sure my kids weren't jumping at Billy's age, and I had never even thought about it.
A
Okay.
B
So why are all you moms, like, comparing jump months?
A
I don't know that we mean to.
B
I just don't know that it's like a milestone. Like eating with silverware or like, I don't know. There's so many different things that I feel like I could be concerned about
A
them not jumping is such a glaring thing when they try to do it and they're saying things like hop and
B
jump, and they just aren't.
A
And they just aren't. And it's like you've seen Billy try. It's loud.
B
So what's happening at your. Your place of living?
A
Really uneasy.
B
What is he doing?
A
Billy.
B
No, you're go.
A
I'm not talking about the other things. I can't do it. It's. You told. You already said how powerful I am.
B
No, we're gonna. We're gonna. We're gonna.
A
Okay, here.
B
As soon as you tell us we're gonna make.
A
This is. Here's the deal. I think it's a thing that's been there for a really long time since. And it's. And he's probably been there so long that he just doesn't care. When I say it's not his face, he's like, yeah, right. And I'm like, you're right. I'm a dumb bitch.
B
Well, that's how I felt about this hotel room. I was like, who am I to think I can, like, manifest him away when he lives here?
A
Yeah. And I also think that this is why I haven't been able to write a screenplay. Because I started when Billy was a newborn. I could feel him looking over my shoulder. And for a few hopeful moments, I
B
just thought it was postpartum anxiety.
A
No, I dreamt that it was, like, kissy or her sister Pat.
B
A warm. Yeah, something warm looking over you.
A
And so I accidentally said welcoming words. And since then, I have just been on fucking edge, terrified.
B
And this is since Billy was born.
A
Yeah.
B
So this is.
A
And that. So I didn't talk. You know, I don't talk about it because I tell you every thought I have. And I've never told you this.
B
No.
A
Like, I.
B
This was like you. You verbally vomited it in my saddest moment to make me feel better.
A
And now look what my job's become.
B
We're gonna pray the ghost away.
A
We're gonna pray it away. Well, that's the thing. Like, I've never had a stronger faith in God. And I truly do believe that my family and my life are, like, the biggest blessings and, like, proof that everything is okay. Beyond okay. It's wonderful. You saw that kid having the time of his life. He's happy.
B
I know.
A
A Universal City walk.
B
Are they going in the park?
A
I told him they could if they wanted to. I don't know what their plan is right now.
B
Okay.
A
But I hope they do because I think he would lose his mind in the park for 40 minutes yesterday, he was just walking around CityWalk going, wow. Wow.
B
Whoa.
A
And, like, when he saw the big gorilla above, like, the basketball, he was like, monkey, monkey, monkey. Like, it was just a great day for him.
B
Wow.
A
He's never been happier. But. Yeah. So that's what I'm dealing with in my house. And we also started, Joe and I. You know, Joe and I like to watch TV shows, and they kind of save our marriage. So we started watching Widow's Bay.
B
I don't understand.
A
Like, the first thing that saved our marriage was Yellowstone. And then.
B
What do you mean?
A
We just watch these shows and they just, like, make us like each other again.
B
Because both of you enjoy them so much.
A
Yeah. It's like Quality time spent. And it's like, oh, I'm not gonna fight with you tonight because we're gonna watch Yellow. And then it was friends and your friends and neighbors.
B
Wait, you guys watch that together?
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, I didn't know.
A
Every Friday. Oh, that's.
B
What. Is he upset about it too?
A
Oh, yeah. It's an enraging show.
B
Now you're texting me that you want to leave your children to Jon Hamm. So he's a problem?
A
No, we're watching the show because Jon Hamm's carrying it, and we give a about Jon Hamm. That's why I was like, do we leave our kids to him? Because no matter what, even in a horrible show, we still love him.
B
Him. Okay.
A
Do you know what I'm saying?
B
I understand.
A
Like, there's nothing redeemable about this show. And. And John Hamm's character. We're just like, yeah, be nice to Coop. He's just a. He's just a robber and a white collar criminal. You know, he's just gaming the system and spending millions of dollars flagrantly monthly. Like, good for him. Isn't that crazy that a character can be that loathsome and you still want to leave your kids to John Hamm? That's the test. That's a testament to John Hamm's character.
B
You know, I do.
A
You got it.
B
I understand.
A
If I, legally speaking, sound off in the comments below. If I leave my kids to John Ham, does he have to consent to that before my death in order to be the person who gets him? Or are all of us leaving our kids to John Ham? Do you know what I mean? Like, have you guys ever thought about that?
B
Like, you would have to sign the document.
A
Also, why didn't you want me to take your kids?
B
What do you mean?
A
Because my son can't jump? Is that why? The length of thought is too long.
B
Okay, well, today's podcast is sponsored by Seatgeek. Seatgeek. Thank you so much. We love you. And Seatgeek does happen to be the number one ticketing app in the world. It has over 70,000 events listed on Seatgeek and over 35 million downloads. And of course, Seatgeek is offering all of you 10% off when you use our code. The SIP10. And concert season is among us. There are so many incredible artists that have tour dates coming up, including Bruno Mars, bts, Ariana Grande, Morgan Wallen, Demi Lovato, Chris Stapleton, Olivia Dean, Alex Warren, and so many more. And what I love about SeatGeek is they rate every ticket on a scale of 1 to 10. Look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad, and every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And like I said, you can get 10% off your next set of tickets when you use our code, the SIP10. You can also click the link in our description section below. That will take you to download the app and apply the code to your account. So whenever you're ready to get your tickets next, it's just right there waiting for you. And you can get all kinds of tickets on SeatGeek, from sporting events to comedy shows, music festivals, concerts, Literally anything you want to take it for. SeatGeek has got you covered. SeatGeek, thank you so much for supporting our show. We love you so much.
A
But, like, legally speaking, does Jon Hamm need to consent to get my kids?
B
Yes, I think so, because I don't know that I have in place right now. But when we had our embryos and we. Our surrogate was pregnant, we had my brother, so I think it would probably roll over, but I don't know that he knows that that responsibility would be his still or not. Have you assigned legally where your kids are going?
A
No, I need to.
B
Okay. We both need to do that this week.
A
Yeah. Should we do that for an after sip?
B
Okay, let me.
A
The most boring, sad vlog.
B
Widow's Bay is awesome.
A
Yes. That's what I was trying to talk about before.
B
What is that?
A
It's a TV show.
B
Oh, that's saving your marriage.
A
Yeah.
B
What's it better? What's it about?
A
What's it about? It's. Okay, so it's kind of like a horror with comedy elements, and it is so funny, and I am getting a little bit scared by it. So, like, I'm not sleeping well also because of that. It's just heightening all the fears that I already have.
B
Who's in it?
A
I don't know.
B
What's the streaming service?
A
Apple tv.
B
Oh, well, they're really doing it right now.
A
Widow's Bay worth it?
B
Okay, I'll watch it. I'm looking for a new TV show to watch.
A
It's really fun, and it's cozy. I also love the east coast, and my dad lives in a really small town in Connecticut, so this is, like, giving, like, Essex vibes, and I'm just here for it.
B
Way to dox him.
A
He moved out of Essex. He moved. He moved. You can't find him. You can't catch him. He's a moving target. But, yeah, no, it.
B
You plucked Lizzie's Things are just like her train of thought on the document this week. It's literally just like, I love this show. I plucked my chin hair, and the
A
chin hair was funny. Okay, My chin hair has been getting out of control again, and I've been, like, playing with it as I want to do, as a woman who has a chin hair is allowed to do. And I was in the car with Jo the other day just, like, going like this. And, like, ugh, I have to pluck this before Ryland notices. And just.
B
Did he not notice?
A
Shut up. He goes before Rylan notices. And it's like. I was like, you have to love me no matter what I look like. And I think proof of that is the way you treat me, even though this is what I look like. So I thought that was funny.
B
And so he's fine with it.
A
No, he's clearly not fine with it. He was just upset that you were the one that I was.
B
I was sleeping next to you. If I woke up and you were still asleep, I'd.
A
With your fingers. Because you just curl it. You wouldn't pull it. You just curl it.
B
Well, you're stupid.
A
You can curl my nipple hairs on the after six.
B
I pull this mole hair. Do you see? I have a mole here, and there's a hair sticking out of it. And then I was scrolling on Instagram reels the other day, and there was a reel all about how you should never pluck a hair that is growing out of a mole. Why I had to stop watching. So I don't know.
A
Oh, we needed.
B
But it really. It really was, like, first, you know, like, why shouldn't you? We're watching grills with no sounds. Ask Chat why you can't pull hair out of moles.
A
And he'll just plug his ears when we find out.
B
But I had to, because first I was watching it with no sound because that's how everyone starts their real watching experience until something intrigues you enough to turn the volume on. But then I started watching it with subtitles, and then I got too far in, and I thought, you know, I don't need to know this, because it's just going to. I've been doing it.
A
Oh, you need to pluck it right now. I know.
B
And he said, you should take scissors to it.
A
That's crazy. That's.
B
And I was like, well, I don't have scissors. I'm on vacation. How am I supposed to do that?
A
And that's why it's there right now.
B
Yeah. So then I got too afraid to pluck it. Please don't. Now I'm like.
A
And now you feel like a villain who's like, oh, playing with you. You get the allure of a coarse facial hair though, don't you? Don't pull it. It's gonna make me sick.
B
But I kind of want to prove a point to you that I could.
A
Okay, then do it.
B
Well, I. I don't know. There's a couple. I got it.
A
That's really. Honestly.
B
First try. Just prove that you can pluck hair with your hands.
A
Chris. I hate him. Chris. I hate him. He's so yucky.
B
Oh, you said you wanted to do a postpartum anxiety check in again.
A
Oh, it's not good.
B
What do you mean?
A
Oh, I had a mental breakdown about. So I started pumping in the middle of the night so that I could get. I could give Ernie extra ounces during the day that he doesn't necessarily need. But I'm trying to chunk him up because as you pointed out last week, he is beep. And so that things like that, like, stress me out. Like every time he spits up, it, like, is like, my stomach.
B
I caused this.
A
No, he's the problem.
B
Okay, thank you. That's what I've been thinking. This baby is the problem. Like, if I point it out, do I then become the problem?
A
No, he's the one doing it. If he didn't want his mama to be stressed out, he would just keep his food down.
B
Exactly.
A
And he doesn't have reflux. And it's like I've been down the rabbit hole with doctors and not.
B
And like, Shaner Spencer's here.
A
Oh, God. I was like, is it my ghost?
B
You think he would follow you here?
A
Do you?
B
I hope.
A
No, I don't think he would.
B
Cuz you're starting to say he's evil. So, like, what do you think?
A
I don't think he's chill. I think if he was chill, I wouldn't feel this way.
B
What does he want?
A
I think. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Joe thinks it's a little boy, which makes me kind of sad.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
That's okay. Now I'm sad. Yeah, this is something else you could have kept to yourself.
A
Sorry.
B
I don't know what's with the two of you bringing me horrible.
A
I've been trying to keep it to myself and you were just like, tell the world.
B
Mean, what happened? You're that house. I don't know.
A
Maybe it was a bad kid.
B
Oh, no.
A
Okay, okay.
B
So your anxiety My anxiety?
A
No. So I've been waking up in the middle of the night and then also afraid of this thing. And so then it's hard for me to go back to sleep after I wake up to pump for 10 minutes and then I'm like, my aura ring one morning was like, you are up. And I was like, you're right, you're right, I'm tired. And then Joe was like, we had to go pick up our dog's medicine at the vet by you. And so Joe was like, I'll go at nap time, you take a nap. And I was like, oh yeah. And so we both boys are asleep. I get in bed and I lay down and the second I close my eyes, Ernie's waking up and crying. And of course he's waking up and crying because I'm asleep in the room with him. Do you know what I mean? Like, he can smell my ass. I smell like parmesan cheese. There's no way he's missing it.
B
Even as the dairy light person, you're smelling like parmesan cheese.
A
That was a joke. I don't smell like parmesan cheese.
B
Sure, convenient joke.
A
Smell me. I smell good right now. Guess what that is.
B
What? Guess.
A
Yes.
B
Sunscreen.
A
No, it's Britney Spears. Curious.
B
She's still making that?
A
No, I have to buy it from like ebay. Sometimes I'll get lucky in a Walmart will be holding it. So I only do one spray on Mondays. If you're lucky.
B
Only for me.
A
Yeah, or if I go out, it's like us.
B
I'm so lightheaded. Am I hungry? What's going on?
A
Starving.
B
Should we just go eat?
A
I didn't eat my breakfast this morning. I'm like sweating.
B
Why wouldn't you do that?
A
Because I have a fucking kid with a double ear infection.
B
Oh, he always is seeking attention. It's attention seeking child.
A
He's so cute. He can have my attention.
B
Okay, so your anxiety.
A
So Ernie starts crying and I just started spiral texting. Joe, this would never happen to you. If you had stayed home, you would have gotten a bath and a nap. But here I am.
B
And a nap.
A
God just hates me. And now my son's crying. And then. What was that? What was that? There's two people in the house.
B
Spencer and Shane are both here. Or is it Spencer and your ghost? Or is it Shane and your ghost? What combination of people have walked in?
A
I don't know, but my anxiety is telling me we're all about to die.
B
Well, I had locked the door, so it's someone with a key.
A
Oh, thank God.
B
The ghost might have a key.
A
Why would you say that?
B
I mean.
A
Okay, so then I'm starting in the spiral. And then I was scream, crying. And then I was like, you have to come home. He's like, do you want me to turn around without getting the dog? The dog come home. I just need someone to hold me in the dark, and I want to be nasty to you. And then he came home and he just held me in the dark while I was crazy. I'm sorry. And Ernie was just asleep on my teeth, sucking on, like, the milk that's left in there. And I was just. He's like, I don't think you should be waking up to pump in the middle of the night. Like, there is no reason for you to be doing this. You're making enough ounces for Ernie during the day. He's not waking up hungry at night, so you shouldn't be waking up to pump in the night. And I was just like, okay, but it's just like, one too many things. You know what I mean? Like, being postpartum is so rough that if you just add one too many things, my world just crumbles.
B
How long does it last?
A
Like two years.
B
Oh, my God.
A
And then it'll be bad. I'll be full of rage again when I wean him from nursing. But don't worry, that's a long ways off, cuz I plan to nurse him through the next cold and flu season
B
and then through the next child, probably.
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, my God.
A
No, I can't nurse three kids.
B
Okay, well, it is getting hot outside.
A
Do you want some iced tea?
B
I would love some.
A
Was that you pivoting?
B
Yeah. I mean, did you have more?
A
Did I?
B
I don't want to cut you off. If you have more postpartum anxiety, give it all to me.
A
No, that was it.
B
That was all. That's all you're dealing with. Seems like nothing at all.
A
Yeah, no, she's fine. That's all she's dealing with.
B
Nothing.
A
You know, it could be worse.
B
Could be worse.
A
It could be worse. Like Paris Jackson.
B
Oh, What?
A
It's my hot topic.
B
Are you gonna say something mean about her? Yeah, I am. Then don't.
A
No, she's got a weird throat. How many people are gonna come in her?
B
Jackson has been lovely.
A
Who else just came in the building that was. Has it been four people entering? How many people have keys to this office?
B
He's bringing all of his friends and family.
A
So Paris Jackson's a freak and has no She's. This is all. This is part of it.
B
She has. I just won't stand for the Paris Jackson slander.
A
It's not slander. It's true, period.
B
Okay?
A
I'm just like, she has a crazy looking throat. Like crazy looking.
B
I have a crazy looking zit that might look like herpes.
A
And her throat was so crazy that she was on Alive and everyone was like, your throat be looking crazy.
B
And she's like, oh, my body shaming.
A
No, wait. She goes, oh my God, you're right, my throat looks crazy. And she literally got an ultrasound of her throat to make sure that there was nothing wrong. Cuz her throat be looking nuts. Yeah. Turns out. And I was like, what the. And then I saw an image of it. I was like. Cuz at first I thought people on
B
the Internet bring an image.
A
Calm down.
B
Well, I. I know you didn't prepare an image, so calm down.
A
Okay, no, I didn't prepare an image, but I only didn't prepare the image so that you could be right right now. Because I know that you love being right.
B
Right?
A
Oh my God. I have to download an app.
B
What?
A
Can you believe?
B
No, don't download an app. You don't have Safari. She's downloading Google Chrome. Just use Safari on your phone.
A
It's not an option.
B
Yes, it is. Just use the one that you're currently on. Wow, you are uniquely you.
A
Every time you text me, are you stupid? I'm like, yeah, dude, we've established it now get past it. Are you ready to see this crazy message?
B
Like, yeah. And
A
yeah, that's a crazy throat.
B
Oh, wow.
A
That was.
B
Screenshot it and send it to Chris.
A
That was literally that oh wow was media trained. I wish that you could have been a real ass for one second and just had your immediate response. Cuz what does that look like to. If you're an actor, you're acting, you're in character. Be a character. You're character.
B
I'm on a podcast with a. A crazy woman. And that's crazy to call you a crazy woman, right?
A
It's not. It's accurate. I wasn't even offended. You see this throat? Oh yeah. That's what happened to me. I was like, these people are being nasty for no reason. Like who? How? Like shut up about someone's throat. And then I saw it and I went, she just has crazy muscles in there because she's such a skilled singer.
B
So ripped.
A
Yeah, she's just a diva.
B
Well, congratulations.
A
Congratulations.
B
Like something like, I'm like either gonna pass out or like, are you gonna.
A
Are you gonna pass out?
B
I'm very lightheaded. Do you need some maybe I've been eating so bad I can't have a girl scout.
A
We need to go have lunch.
B
We need lunch.
A
We need lunch. Do you want me to get through this really fast? Pete and his girlfriend with their four month old split up. She hit the Instagram and was like, I need help. No one's helping me. And then she was like, pete's not paying for anything. This is all paraphrasing. And allegedly. And then.
B
But did she post that on Instagram?
A
She posted that on Tick Tock. And on Instagram, she posted that she was looking for support. Then Pete's people commented and were like, he' paying for everything financially. Like, he is being supportive. And then she deleted all the stuff on Instagram and Tick Tock. Next. Lena Dunham wrote a book. Yes.
B
That's like, really?
A
Well, you're about to pass out.
B
I'm okay.
A
Do you have time enough to talk?
B
If we pass out? If I pass out, it's like, it's okay there.
A
You want us to ignore it or do you want us to do something about it?
B
Leave the camera rolling.
A
Well, if I pass out, I want you guys just to keep going. I'll be back.
B
You know what I mean?
A
Like, give me a minute, I'll bounce back. But, like, I don't want to make a big deal.
B
I'm saying too, it's like, leave it rolling. Commentate what I might be going through. If I start screaming, then your ghost has arrived. If I'm like Shane screaming, if you
A
pee your pants, do you want us to, like, acknowledge? Cover it? Cover the piss pants?
B
No, no, no. I think we need to get it all on camera.
A
Okay. Just for the record, sometimes when I faint, my muscles will spasm. And it looks like it's more than just a faint. It's just a faint.
B
Thank you for letting me know. I've never fainted. Present day.
A
Oh, really? Yes. I've been told this first.
B
Yeah. Okay.
A
This is baby's first fainting. You know what?
B
I feel faded with you guys.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
We talked Chris into fainting one time and then he, like, fainted.
A
Yeah. So we should probably stop talking about fainting because Chris is about to steal.
B
Very lightheaded.
A
He's gonna steal your first faint. No, don't let him take that from you. Are you pregnant?
B
Am I pregnant?
A
Are you pregnant? Am I just morning lube.
B
What is that?
A
Are you joking?
B
I know. I've never heard of that.
A
Well, think about it.
B
Spermicidal. I don't know what that means.
A
Homicidal.
B
Oh, it kills the squirrel. Oh, yeah. Can't you just do it when you're not ovulating? Isn't that the whole point of the order?
A
I'm fucking traumatized by my children.
B
I know.
A
Anyways, Lena Dunham wrote another book.
B
Not another one. I know.
A
Literally, Lena. No one asked.
B
Wait. No, it was. Wait, I. I mean, the same one. She's been promoting for, like, a month. It's got to be.
A
No, it's the same one.
B
This is another one. There was a first.
A
It's the same one.
B
She wrote another one getting confusing.
A
She wrote one, like, in 2012, and, like, it was very controversial at the time. Wait, I'm lightheaded.
B
Wait, are you or are you saying.
A
Are you paying attention? Do you. Well, am I getting it?
B
Is it working. Guys? I was just on vacation. Give me a break this week.
A
He's lightheaded.
B
I was just on vacation.
A
He's just a guy.
B
He always. It takes a couple days to bounce back. So I'm not in tip top shape.
A
No, he's weak. He's weak.
B
I'm weak.
A
We should get lunch.
B
This is the day after vacation.
A
Where are we gonna get lunch? Are we gonna go to Superba real quick and then go do the food part of the sip?
B
I ate there. The. Whoa. I ate there alone the other day.
A
That's kind of classy.
B
I hate it.
A
It.
B
Oh, I don't like eating alone. Controversial. I know. Everyone's like, can you tell me on a date? I don't like it. I would rather be with someone.
A
That's also how I feel about Lena Dunham.
B
That's my hot take is eating alone sucks.
A
And that's how I feel about Lena
B
D. Taylor Swift's, like, hanging out with her.
A
Not anymore. I don't think.
B
I feel like I just saw them together.
A
No, you did.
B
I mean, I feel like I did.
A
Well, I would hope that Taylor stayed on Jack Antonoff's side in the divorce.
B
Divorce.
A
But Lena Dunham's been spreading hot divorce. The Lena. The Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff divorce.
B
Oh, they divorced.
A
Well, they were dating, and now they're not. They're both married to other people. Yeah, quality.
B
Exactly what I just said, Mark.
A
Where quailing.
B
This is really.
A
Who's also probably lightheaded?
B
Me while I cry.
A
I don't want to be that.
B
The lights off. Chris, let me just.
A
You have a cold. Hold me.
B
Oh, I want to give it to you.
A
I'VE been begging for a bed. I need a bed set. I've been begging for a bed set, you dumb bitch.
B
That's why it was funny. Okay, learn what's funny.
A
Let's just lay down.
B
Let's just get a little comfortable.
A
Should we just go to Superba right now?
B
Yeah.
A
Okay. Yeah, well, really quickly, Jake, we have
B
to eat something for the sip too. Can you see us anymore, Chris? Yes.
A
Okay, so Dylan Sprouse.
B
That's fine. As long as you can see us, we're fine.
A
Dylan Sprouse and Mrs. Sprouse are expecting
B
their first Isn't that crazy child? That's why he went into such protection.
A
No, no, no.
B
You think he would have done that even if she wasn't?
A
Yes, I think those men are men.
B
You think he's a badass man?
A
I think they're like the I don't give a type of guys.
B
I mean, obviously, yeah, but when I saw she was pregnant, I was like, wow, wow. And did it for her.
A
He. She loves him. She used to walk the red carpet and they'd be like calling her by her name, which I don't remember because I'm a bad person. And then she'd be like, it's missing Mrs. Sprouse. It's Mrs. Dylan Sprouse. Or something like that. And then on the red carpet, it was the two of them, and they were like, Mr. And Mrs. Sprouse. And she went. She's a big fan of his. His wife.
B
Good.
A
Good for them. Good for them.
B
Oh, and the Alex of it all.
A
Oh, yeah. Alex Cooper is pregnant. So leave her alone. Alex.
B
Weren't we team other? I don't remember.
A
We're team Other Alex. But we. We leave pregnant women alone. Alone.
B
Oh,
A
yeah.
B
So she just did that because she was pregnant?
A
No, and that's offensive.
B
Wait, what do you mean?
A
Are you just saying that pregnant women are irrational and do things psychotically when they shouldn't do them? No, because that was the gist. Was that not what you were? Let's. Let's role play again. So let's say you're a 35 year old man on a podcast. You're giving an honest answer to that.
B
Ask me the question. What's the scenario again?
A
Literally no one asked you a question. You were just problematic at the Gates girl.
B
Well, no, I'm just saying, like, if she wasn't pregnant, do you think she would have thought three more times before she hit post on the post dragging Alex?
A
No, I don't know, because Alex still never gone public with Her Alex. Alex drama. So, like, maybe there is no tea and maybe Alex is like, was right in being like.
B
Like, tell him, Alex. Yeah. Is either gonna say, are you guys following? Oh, she's either gonna save it for her reality show or she's just never gonna speak about it ever again.
A
That's Licks, not Lex.
B
Okay, Licks is just gonna either save it because. Did you see her on Good Morning America?
A
No.
B
The guy kept. He like circled back to it three
A
times and she said nothing.
B
And she was just like, I'm trying to keep today light and positive and happy and airy.
A
Yeah. So she's not sharing it because guaranteed whatever it is isn't much.
B
Or she's gonna save it for her reality show.
A
But like, when does that.
B
Or she just realizes that, like doing a never ending back and forth just ends bad for both parties, no matter what. Because that's what happens. Yeah.
A
We all saw what happened to Justin and Blake.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
But they were kind of like unlikable characters out the gates themselves as well, which I find incredibly relatable.
B
Okay, I think we've got a good go.
A
No, I still have one more piece of information. Kendall and Kylie have been cross dating. What's it called? Double dating.
B
They have?
A
Yeah.
B
Timothy Chalamet and Jacob Ay are friends. Wait, no, for real?
A
And that's the sip.
B
Wait, are they friends?
A
Yeah, allegedly. The Internet told me that Kylie introduced Kendall to Jacob Elordi.
B
And Kendall's like, out and about with Jacob Elordi, and Jacob Elordi used to be with Olivia. Jacob. Olivia. Jane.
A
Olivia Jane. Olivia Jane. Olivia Jane.
B
Oh, God, that would suck.
A
And now I think she imagine tennis player.
B
Oh, really? Yeah, I was gonna say that sucks. You, like, break up with Jacob Elordi and then he goes to Kendall Jenner, and then that's like more. It's just because it's highly publicized everywhere you look. It's like my ex boyfriend with a person. Because it's going to be talked about every time.
A
I mean, that's Olivia Jade regardless. Like, she's one of those Nepo babies that's like, okay, not what it is what it is. Mom's an actress, her dad's rich, period.
B
Good for her.
A
And.
B
And that's the sip.
A
Am I wrong?
B
Okay, girls, today's podcast is sponsored by Rocket Money. And none of us have the time to be able to thoughtfully manage our finances, nor do Elizabeth and I have the knowledge to be able to do so. Even if we had the time to do so.
A
I was literally just gonna Say that.
B
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A
Yeah. The lie of financial insecurity is that if you don't know, it can't hurt you. But really you just lay in darkness, terrified.
B
And when you do know, everything gets so much better. And Rocket Money will help you set up a budget. So then you're aware of, like, what you can spend and what you can save. They have automated saving systems that you can just like set it and forget it and you know that you're being taken care of. They'll also help you cancel your unit unwanted subscriptions. They'll beautifully display everything you're subscribed to. And you'll be like, oh, I forgot to subscribe to three of those things. And they'll help you cancel them. With just a few taps, users who create a goal with Rocket Money Save over $70 on average within the first 30 days and help you lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. Check it out, download the app, look around, have a great time, and let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. You can join today@rocketmoney.com that's rocketmoney.com sip rocketmoney.com sip okay, sip stars, we have found Spencer alive and well this week. Did your sickness run its course? It ran its course. It ran harder than I thought it was gonna run.
A
How hard did it run?
B
I was really. I was not being a good sick person. I was doing a lot. Oh, no, you are. Lizzy. Lizzy's like that. You guys are the reason that we're all sick in the world.
A
You're welcome.
B
And then last week I was like, after we left, I thought it would have been so much funnier if I said, you can't SIP with us.
A
I think you did say it.
B
No, I didn't. I said it to you, not on camera.
A
I told Spencer I thought Ryland was so cool about the fact that Spencer was sick. And then we got in the car and Ryland was, like, texting Shane.
B
Well, no, I know because I got a text from Shane right after. I was like, okay, the worst word is spreading and I'm not feeling. And Shane goes. I go, okay, so you told Spencer he can leave? Right after I discovered he was sick. He's gonna think I'm a Karen, and he knows that I'm the one that said he's sick. He's gotta go. I mean, I didn't care that much. It was just funny. It was like so quick. It was so. Hey, so you can totally head home. Well, I was asking Shane if he was coming to the office, and then he said, well, is Spencer there? And I said, yeah, but he's sick, everyone. You made it through your birthday without getting sick. And that was my biggest fear because we had our trip planned. And I was like, I'm not getting sick. But none of us got sick. Look at all of us here.
A
I thought I got sick.
B
You thought?
A
Yeah, I just had a little case of mastitis.
B
What's that?
A
It's when your titties get infected.
B
Oh, well, okay. Is it better?
A
Yeah.
B
I was coming on here to say hello. Sip. We are trying a hack we saw on Instagram, and by we, I mean Shane, where somebody went to raising canes, got their bread, then got a flying Dutchman in n out and made the raising cane's bread. The patty. No. And then the bun.
A
The bun.
B
Oh, yes, thank you very much. And then I was.
A
And then it went viral.
B
We only do viral stuff on this thing. Viral stuff. Viral moments only. All right, to raising canes we go.
A
Bye.
B
Chris is back there, like, scrolling through different people trying this. And I said, oh, so it is viral. Everyone's doing it. A bunch of people are doing it different ways. This guy on one slice of the toast put In n out sauce, and on the other toast put cane sauce.
A
Um, in n out makes spread. Chris.
B
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. There's a difference. I'm uncultured swine.
A
Okay, I'm scared to hang up now.
B
Sorry.
A
Yeah, I did say I've been professionally abused.
B
That's a stretch.
A
I've been.
B
Wow. Spencer does stick up for me. One time Lizzie said, you're a Ryland. A apologist. And I was like, well, no, he's just telling the truth. I think he's a pretty. Yeah, you would think that as a ry.
A
You would think that.
B
No, I don't think Spencer's always Siding with me. Sometimes he tells. He's like, no, Shane's right.
A
Who?
B
And imagine how that feels for me.
A
Imagine it probably feels pretty bad. I'm going to hang up.
B
Okay, bye. Oh, man. How do I do it?
A
Sorry.
B
Could I get eight pieces of toast?
A
Eight toast?
B
Yep.
A
And then.
B
Yes. Could I get like a. Do you have like a medium sized sauce? Not like the whole bucket, but the 21 ounce?
A
No, no, no, no.
B
Do you have a smaller size than that? The smallest we have is the regular
A
size that we give in every combo. So get three of those. Four.
B
Get four. Do you guys think I should get the big one?
A
You don't need 21 ounces.
B
Okay. Just four sides of sauces.
A
That's over a pound of sauce.
B
No, thanks. Yes, some coleslaw, eight oats and I'm so sor. Two sides of Koslaw. Yes.
A
Can I get a name?
B
Ryan. Ryan, do you guys want Koslaw?
A
All right, that'll be 1833 at that side of your window. That's disgusting.
B
I'm so sorry. Can I add one more coast law? One more Coast Law. So three. Yeah, of course. Thank you. I knew from Chris's note that he wanted Kosla.
A
Thank you.
B
No, I appreciate. Oh, no, he wants Koslaw. I was doubting it.
A
I just feel like the coast law is going to be the cherry on top of the Dutchman.
B
I don't know if she said first or second window. I wasn't even driving at stoplights.
A
Oh, they're pulling you forward.
B
Thank you.
A
Thank you.
B
I'm not with it today. The day after a vacation.
A
You should be. 1996. 19. That was a good year.
B
What?
A
No. Was it?
B
I was five.
A
I was six.
B
I was 60. Spencer wasn't even alive. Wait, were you not alive?
A
No, Spencer was alive.
B
He was.
A
Spencer.
B
What?
A
What were you born in? 97?
B
At least a moment. Thank you.
A
What? Spencer, what year were you born?
B
98. This is up. This is actually not cool.
A
So you don't even remember? Nine? Eleven?
B
No, not really.
A
I could be sick. I could be sick right now.
B
How old are you with sunglasses?
A
They're all.
B
All cool.
A
It's cool.
B
I'm gonna be young forever. You can't see her.
A
You can't see anything. I'm not. What do you.
B
It's just camera. She's the worst camera person ever. She's holding it, not looking at. I know. And then every time somebody talks, I'm like, push it back.
A
So, Spencer, how old are you?
B
I'm 27. It's not a polite. It's not even that young. Yeah, I know. You're really old.
A
I'm really old. That was what I was saying.
B
We're with two children. I mean, we're not young.
A
Middle aged.
B
That was so. I gotta go. That was so mean. You guys are the ones who brought this up. I'm not.
A
I don't feel like it's mean, but it is shocking because, honestly, I thought we were 27.
B
Feels like it. I feel great. I feel younger than I've. I don't know. I probably haven't felt younger since I was 20, period. Chris is old.
A
Yeah.
B
I don't relate to that.
A
No, Chris is septic, but it's fine.
B
All right, we're gonna get our toast, our sauce, and our slaw, and. And we'll see you at In N Out. Should we make thumbnail faces?
A
Oh, not really.
B
We got to wait.
A
My own little head rub.
B
Okay. Oh, Billy's with the dads, and the dads didn't put Billy to bed.
A
Put baby to bed. Not your bed. Put him in his bed. He's in his crib. So if I check the monitor right now, he's going to be in his crib.
B
She micromanages the home away.
A
He's in his bed. All right, sorry. Bye.
B
It is an hour and 10 minutes late, though.
A
Yeah, it is. And they just sent me this. In my defense. My poor little sick boy.
B
Oh, now he's sick.
A
He's not happy. You can see it on his little face.
B
Billy boy, like, wait, don't be rolling. Well, I just started rolling because.
A
Are you sure you're rolling?
B
I mean, I'm pretty sure.
A
Okay, this is eight pieces of toast, and they're each individually wrapped and low key. That's excessive.
B
Three things of coleslaw in each. Coleslaw sauces.
A
Each coleslaw is in its own thing, and then another thing and then a fork that's also in a thing within a thing. Okay, this is the Russian doll of fast food.
B
Thank God. I think you need to film, but I don't trust you to film. But I have to cry.
A
Uh.
B
Oh. See how hard my life is? Okay, and now we're stopping at In N Out, which is only a block and a half away way.
A
Hell yeah.
B
Thank you, God.
A
Thank you. Say thank you, you guys. Thank.
B
Thank you. Thank you. Now here we are at In N Out Burger. Wait, where does the In N Out Burger line start? That's an out only.
A
Oh, my God. Okay, you and I have been to this before.
B
We have After a hike bike and
A
before I picked up my car.
B
And the first time I ever used the dildo cam, actually.
A
Oh, my God.
B
Now it's all coming back.
A
It's all coming back to him now.
B
This is like a 40 car pile up.
A
Damn.
B
Hope you guys are ready for a long wait. Whoa, they move pretty fast. Yeah, in and out does move fast.
A
I'm gonna throw off if I keep being your cameraman.
B
Well, we could probably eat some Ghost Law because that has.
A
No, no. I got the coastline for the Bro Berg. You did?
B
Yeah.
A
I'm gonna stack this.
B
Okay, well, I want to enjoy some coleslaw.
A
Enjoy your coleslaw.
B
Okay.
A
It's individually wrapped with a fork.
B
Thank you. Let's see what's going on in here. It's tiny as hell. What the. This is a side of Koslaw.
A
Yeah.
B
There's no way.
A
There's a way.
B
An H E L, L. Wait, do
A
they even include our sauces?
B
Wait, they're probably in one of those. Nope. Wait.
A
Oh, those.
B
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He was so nice. There's no way he didn't give us our sauce.
A
No, he literally did not.
B
Oh, my God. Wait, keep opening things.
A
No, he made fools of us. No.
B
No way.
A
Oh, wait, there's four. There's four containers. So one of them must be a sausage.
B
Let's see. It must. The relief.
A
Can you imagine Sullying his good name? The relief in front of all of our friends.
B
So how does each one of you say this word?
A
Cole.
B
Oh, well, spell it first. C O, L, E S Slaw. S L, A, W. Good. And how do you say that? Cole slaw.
A
Are you doing it for attention?
B
You think it's like Cole Sprouse slo.
A
Yeah.
B
What other time is C O L E co in like Family Guy when he kept saying Cooper, but that one makes more sense.
A
Oh, we're rolling.
B
Yeah, we can stop.
A
I didn't realize that we were still rolling. I wouldn't have left the scene.
B
I would have just stopped talking. That's who she really is. She's not present. As soon as we're done rolling, she's scrolling Instagram. Well, I was searching for her next dopamine hit period.
A
I was texting my husband first and foremost.
B
And about what?
A
My. Actually, I wasn't texting my husband. I was texting James.
B
Your other. Asking him if he's doing butt stuff.
A
He just kept sending me pictures of my baby napping in his bed. And it was precious. And it's like, also not okay. We have Sleep habits for a reason. Good, Kosa.
B
Really good.
A
Are you saving the rest for your burg?
B
Yeah. So are we getting what, four Flying Dutchmans?
A
Four Flying Dutchmans and then probably a couple regular burgers and some animal style fries. But I can't speak for everybody. Shut up, Spencer. I'm breastfeeding.
B
I'm actually good. Like, even if I don't. You don't? The Flying Dutchman isn't enough for you?
A
Are you kidding?
B
You don't like a Flying Dutchman?
A
I'm really gonna shame me in front of all our friends?
B
Well, no, I'm saying like, you want something separately.
A
Yeah, of course I do. We all do. We're all dying for a fucking milkshake.
B
Okay, Get a milkshake.
A
We're dairy light.
B
I like a Flying Dutchman personally.
A
Yeah, who doesn't?
B
Well, that's why I was asking. You want another cheeseburger?
A
Yeah, I do. I want it all. Okay. Why do you have to judge it? I'm like, yeah, move to Long beach or Laguna beach, wherever the fuck. I'm supportive. Sure. Your panther ring looks like a husky,
B
calm body, deep breath. Do you not do deep breaths with Billy? I think you guys would both benefit from that. This is Lizzie's.
A
We're all only having Flying Dutchman or otherwise. We're going to be shamed by Riley.
B
No. Eat whatever you want. I'm now gonna judge. Okay, calm, calm body, deep breath, smell the flowers, blow out the candle. Stress in the last like hour.
A
I'm seepy.
B
Okay, so because there's two lanes, the drive thru employee is on this side. So Liz Karma Klee has to order.
A
I'm not worried about it.
B
See, I don't. If you were on your own, how do you order?
A
Why are you worried about it?
B
It can't get ready.
A
Should I be worried?
B
It can't get ready.
A
You guys are just getting Flying Dutchmans.
B
Four Flying Dutchmans.
A
Yeah, and then I'm gonna order a
B
bunch of animal style fries, okay? I don't want fries.
A
He doesn't want fries.
B
Are you and I sharing animal style fries?
A
No, I'm not sharing anything with you.
B
Why? Because you think I have a herb?
A
No, I would never isolate an entire
B
community of people, okay? Just individual celebrities.
A
No, it's just cuz you're gay.
B
Oh, yeah, right. Whatever. You gay now. She doesn't want a milkshake.
A
No. Complicated milkshake because I'm dairy light.
B
Oh.
A
Order five Flying Dutchmen.
B
Yeah. Onion wrap or just the patties and meat. Cheese. Sorry.
A
Meat and cheese. And the patties.
B
Okay.
A
I mean, and the onions.
B
And the onions.
A
Yeah. Like the grilled onion that becomes a
B
whole grill onion wrap. Yeah. Yeah. Cool.
A
And then can I please get three animal style fries?
B
Three animal fries?
A
Yeah. Can I have a pink lemonade, please? Anybody else can be thirsty.
B
Do you guys want drinks? And I think that's it.
A
That'll do it.
B
Eating in the car today.
A
Yes. Yes.
B
There's a five flying Dutchman's hogra onion wrap and the three animal fries with the one lemonade. Yeah, perfect. It's gonna be 5010 at the first window following the truck. Awesome.
A
Thank you.
B
You too. Great. Jobless.
A
Okay, so honestly, I don't want to give notes on his performance, because overall, he was great. Okay. But if you're ordering a Flying Dutchman for him, then to be like, well, do you want all the components of a Flying Dutchman? It's like, yeah, dude. That's why I ordered a fucking Flying Dutchman. Are you joking me? Why are you complicating this, you crazy bitch?
B
You want to say something?
A
Yeah. Not to his face. Just after I roll up the window.
B
Can you talk to a manager, please?
A
Hi.
B
I thought I was losing my mind because I felt like I was having a hot flash and I realized I had the heat cedar on. I was like, the heat cedar. Can you lift this up?
A
I always say heat cedar also.
B
No, you do.
A
I just think it's funny. It's hard words to say together.
B
All right, we'll be back when we're ready to create our creations. I just get a text from my husband. Why is Lizzy sending me photos of her boops? Did you send full tits?
A
Yeah, that's why I went to the bathroom.
B
Like, bouncing jiggly tits with nipples.
A
No, it's a still image. It's not a lie.
B
Can I see what you sent him?
A
No, it was just for your husband. No, I literally texted Shane, and I said, please text Ry. Why is Lizzie sending me pictures of her books? Because I'm pranking him. And he said, now, And I said,
B
yes, please prank you.
A
Big prank.
B
Are we not gonna tell them that I'm in contact with the viral man himself? Oh, I guess we should give him credit. So the. The person that we are copying, his name is Chad Shah. We'll pop up his. His Instagram post here. And so Chris said to clarify, was it a Flying Dutchman that you got? And he said, because he didn't say in the video. He didn't say it was flying to show. Oh, now you have, like, Critiques of his video.
A
No, no, no.
B
No critiques. He just didn't say we weren't sure. So I left.
A
Is a food block vlogger, so he would know how to vlog a food, right?
B
It's in the community. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I asked, is it a flying or did you order a Flying Dutchman? He responded very promptly with yup, with the onion.
A
I'm like, thank you. Ask him if he got pushback on the Flying Dutchman and if the man.
B
You ordered a Flying Dutchman? Did they ask if you had or
A
does that man just have a problem with women?
B
Well, he did say specify with the onion, so maybe there was pushback because
A
ask him if a Flying Dutchman comes with.
B
Maybe you're wrong.
A
Maybe. You know what? I. I'm ready and willing to admit when I'm wrong because it means that I can jump in traffic and just say goodbye. Finally.
B
Okay, we'll see you guys later.
A
All right, you guys, I. God, this is really hard for me to say. Apparently a Flying Dutchman is just two patties and cheese. Two beef patties and two slices of cheese melted together with nothing else.
B
There's still time for you to get out of this car and go give that man a blowjob.
A
I'm not going to do that hand job.
B
Come on, Elaine.
A
No, I'm not gonna get my hands w. There. But here's the thing. I do regret rolling up my window. You should just cut all that.
B
Well, now that you've made a public apology, just cut it. You made a whole to do about this.
A
Cut it.
B
Okay. I feel like every time we go somewhere, Lizzy and Spencer are always like, it's so affordable. But it's like $300. I feel like this was actually affordable. Five burgers, three fries and a drink.
A
And each of those burgers is actually two burgers. So really, it's like 20 burgers, $50.
B
So the one time it was actually affordable. No one said it was affordable. Well, here I am saying it's affordable.
A
We were all distracted by the blatant misogyny of the man taking our order. And then the hotness of the girl.
B
Cut all this. You need to stop it. Maybe you should just go.
A
I'm going to go. I didn't mean what I said. I didn't mean what I said, but I meant it. And I'd go to prom with her.
B
That would. Was that. Yeah.
A
Is that okay to say? Is it?
B
You're such a lesbian. Yes.
A
Oh, did we also order our chocolate milkshake?
B
He was too. Massage at this time, please.
A
A chocolate milkshake.
B
Elizabeth, I asked you right before.
A
See if we could get one.
B
No, because then I'm going to have to hear you complain about the effects of it.
A
No, I should have it. That is.
B
Oh, yes, get it.
A
Just get one extra milkshake. Do any of them come with a milkshake?
B
Shut up. Thank you. Thank you. Could I get a few extra napkins?
A
Sure.
B
Thank you very much.
A
This smells so good.
B
Could I get one more? We have four people.
A
One more for you. Yeah.
B
I got you. Here you are. Thank you.
A
Oh my God.
B
You too. Spencer's realizing the error of his ways and that he should have got animal fries. You want to go back?
A
I'm sorry you have that regret. I have a similar regret.
B
It's okay. Yeah, with the chocolate. I was not going to hold up the line and wait another 15 minutes for a shake.
A
They're not making shakes in 15 minutes.
B
I worked at a restaurant for a long time and every time somebody asked for a shake, I wanted to kill myself.
A
You think that was the same way they do shakes at in and Out Burger?
B
Yeah.
A
Are you going to park in the panda pickup line?
B
I don't think I should. Right? Who cares?
A
What are they going to do, pick us up? Are pandas known for their strength?
B
It smells so good.
A
It truly does.
B
I want to park in the panda pickup so bad.
A
Just do it. Just do it.
B
Do you think that's really evil?
A
No, it's a 20 minute parking spot to it.
B
Spencer, do you think it's evil? No, I don't think they give a.
A
Okay, what if some pamba. Literally.
B
I'll go get a dessert from there.
A
Nobody wants a dessert from there.
B
You guys, I'm just. They have dessert.
A
He's going to get it off.
B
We'll get a orange chicken. He's going to get it off camera. Okay, here's the. Oh, there's one of yours. Thank you. Okay, and then we gotta set up your guys'.
A
Here's your breads.
B
Okay, here's the. Oh, there's one of yours. Thank you. Okay, and then we gotta set up your guys' here's your breads.
A
Here's your spreads.
B
We'd be better if I backed into this spot.
A
You should back into it then.
B
I really should. Huh?
A
No, this is fine.
B
You think so?
A
Here's our breath.
B
Scene two, take one. Common mark. All right. I guess you guys could pull that down if you want. Like a shelf.
A
If you need a shelf for your
B
books, here's Your animal fruit. Thank you. Thank you. You can have some. We should leave ours there for now, Right? Oh, you gave me a fork. Never mind.
A
Whoa.
B
Sorry. It would look like a better fight. Animal fries are some of the best things ever invented. Yeah. Dang it. I really think the light's, like, not. Look at this. Do we need to back it up? This is. Yeah. Oh, my God.
A
You're crazy.
B
Everyone, hope the cameras don't fall, but I'm going to back into this spot mainly for the thumbnail because we need to thumbnail with the food, period.
A
Gosh, I just wanted to go stroke my thinking hair, and it's got on. Look at this guy. But he's thinking, they're not going to Panda Express.
B
Oh, sorry. I'm the problem.
A
Do you think he's going to report us?
B
Well, I think he's going to Panda Express parking in Sherwin Williams. So, like, I feel better that I'm not dealing with.
A
No, it says Panda Express on there.
B
That's the. Oh, okay. You're right. You win.
A
Thank you.
B
I guess I could park in that one, though.
A
And this one was driving with noise canceling headphones on, which seems like an odd choice.
B
That's insane as hell. What the fuck? I've never seen that before.
A
I've been noticing a lot of people out in the wild wearing noise canceling headphones. And I'm like, do you need that right now? Like, chill out.
B
All right, let's make. Oh, let's grab ours and then pass them back. Oh, my gosh. This bread isn't that thick. One thing I will say is that people love the raising Cane's bread. I think it sucks. Thick, really? It's overrated. I think it's literally just a toasted hot dog. But. And I think it's. I always. I never. People are always like, you love. We need the bread, bread, bread. And they really just pissed off the caniacs. Right. Now the cayenne acts. Can I steal that tray from you after?
A
Oh, it's hot on my fingers. Oh, it's really hot on my fingers.
B
It really is hot on your fingers. All right, you're going. Two pieces of bread for the thumbnail? Yeah.
A
Are we gonna put the sauce on it, too? I don't know that I like cane sauce.
B
That's like.
A
It's very peppery.
B
What makes everything good?
A
Do we really need two pieces of the bread?
B
I mean, for the thumbnail? Yeah.
A
Can I bite it now?
B
Are you guys ready to bite? Oh, my gosh. I didn't add sauce. Did you add sauce?
A
No.
B
Should we add sauce?
A
I'm scared.
B
To the Cane sauce or the. Oh, we have In N Out sauce too.
A
Yeah, we got spread. It's spread from in and out.
B
Okay.
A
For sake.
B
What are we gonna do?
A
Do you want to use my. My cane sauce?
B
Is this one Cane's? Yeah, I guess. Is it gonna ruin an In N Out burger?
A
That's how I'm feeling.
B
I did it. It's too late.
A
I'm gonna bite.
B
I'm gonna bite too. I'm gonna get a close up for them. Did you thumbnail, Spencer? Yeah, I think so. Okay, we'll get a thumbnail from Chris. Oh, Lizzy did it. You biting? I'm biting too.
A
It's too much bread.
B
Yeah, it's a lot of bread, but I like it. I think you need like a 4x4. You need a couple more patties to make it more balanced. Yeah, but it's really good.
A
How do you even fit that in your mouth?
B
Then I might take this off too and be and stand in solidarity with Liz. Mm.
A
Mm.
B
Also, the bread's the wrong shape for this. You can definitely use some of that spread. I would say.
A
I do not like the sauce.
B
Which spread do you want, Spencer? What do you mean?
A
He wants In n Out.
B
I have In n Out spread or that's the only spread?
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, what is the difference? One's called spread, the other sauce.
A
Yeah, period.
B
May I have a spread? You may. Thank you. Wow. So you don't like the bread itself? No, it's overrated. I would say it's one of the most overrated fast food items. It is so salty, the bread. It's just like buttered bread. Like salt. Yeah. Where could you go wrong? The Flying Dutchman, though, really is.
A
They are not as good.
B
Oh, they're not good. Only that came with the.
A
But I'm finding myself eating around the bread like, I don't want the bread.
B
I asked for more and he didn't really give me more. So it's only what's in your silverware packet.
A
Oh, no.
B
But he was jovial. That was the one employee you liked? Yeah.
A
I like the other one too.
B
The girl. The one you want to go to prom with. Yeah. Oh, there's napkins from K. Oh, thanks. Honestly, I want another Flying Dutchman.
A
You want to split mine?
B
Chris, do you want this spring poo? Oh, my God. Sorry. The spread on top is really good. Really takes it to the next level. Honestly, I'm just not a Cane's girl. I don't Know how to put it to you guys.
A
I mean, you just did it pretty eloquently.
B
Thank you. I just. What the. The other chicken place? I like way more. Dave. Oh, Dave. Pot is the best. This is really good though.
A
The can slot is good,
B
I'll give them that. This is some real big back activities and I love it. Some what? Big back activity. I don't know what that is. When you have fat activity. Yeah. When you have a very large back, you usually a big fellow, right?
A
Yeah. Is it okay for you to say that as a little fellow?
B
Well, he's. Yeah, he's a big back chaser. In my mind, I would. I'd like to believe I'm a part of the community. No, that's stolen valor. As a person, that doesn't. I think In N out has single handedly changed my mind about onions. Wow. Wow. Because I hated onions my whole life and a Flying Dutchman has made me appreciate onions.
A
Well, it's a grilled onion though.
B
Here, Lizzie, do you want your other burger? Is anyone eating raw onions?
A
Yeah.
B
What? Oh, like on burgers? Yeah. You guys are sick fucks.
A
Oh my God.
B
Oh, I'll eat raw onion. Like with a meal. Like just bits of raw onion. I would never. How about I have a fourth of that? Your second flying Dutch? Okay, you can have half. Really? Is that going to be filled with resentment later? No. I have a friend who hates onion who won't give a Flying Dutchman a try. And I'm like, you don't understand. It's different. You're like my other friend that hates onions, likes it too. I can also see how if you hated onions, you'd like it the one. No. Well. No. Well, you wouldn't want to try fry it because it's mainly onion. But I hate onions and I tried it. But you're adventurous. Thank you. That's what I've been telling everyone. You're a brave, beautiful girl. Should we go to E's massage?
A
Hello. Hello.
B
I was just making sure the sound's working because now I'm paranoid. Do these forks packets come with knives?
A
Nope.
B
They don't. People that in and out, it's truly homophobic. They don't have knives at Cobb either. It sucks.
A
Where?
B
Cava. Cava. Spencer's a Cava girl. They just have force. I'm also a Cava girl. I love cava. I guess we could carve it with a fork.
A
It's hard to carve a onion with a fork.
B
Yeah, that's not gonna go well. You guys are Full after one. Maybe not. I'm trying to get out of my big back here. Oh, I was just gonna hand you my fries. Because I don't need a whole thing of fries.
A
Yeah, I can't cut these onions, bro.
B
That's fine.
A
Chris, give me your hunting knife.
B
Here, I'll just. I'm gonna take the smaller part here.
A
Oh. Then take all these onions, and then I'll take the bottom onions.
B
Okay, I'm just gonna pull.
A
Pull.
B
Oh, there you go. It's so good.
A
I'm gonna need a. Spread my wings and fly away.
B
Well, I actually loved it. I really liked it with the bread crisp. Yeah. I mean, okay, let me put the bread back on.
A
You're wasting your time.
B
I mean, I don't think you can ever go wrong with adding bread to something. I think if you're gonna do it, I would recommend going to Cane's after. Because the burger's still gonna be warm. And you want that bread to be crispy because ours is kind of, like, floppy, soggy.
A
Yeah, the sog wasn't my issue with the bread, though.
B
And here I was thinking I planned out. No, no, no. It's. We learned. We learned live and we learned. You've gotta learn. You've gotta learn. You've gotta learn. I do think this is very dependent on if you like Cane's bread. Cause it's such a big part of the meal. I mean, I like Cane's bread. I definitely like this. I wouldn't make the extra stop if it wasn't one block away. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
A
I would do anything for US Bread.
B
Well, isn't that just in and out?
A
Will you just give me the spread?
B
I think she did. Oh, I don't know that we have another spread back there.
A
Did they only give you US bread?
B
We had four. Oh, here's one right here. I didn't use mine.
A
Thank you.
B
Well, I love it.
A
I mean, you love the Flying Dutchman with onions.
B
I put the bread on it. I'm not mad at the. The bread. It's not something I would deny if presented to me, but I wouldn't go out of my way for it, period. But another intimate parking lot moment. Oh. Oh, my God.
A
Yeah. Do you think they're cheating?
B
They've got to be.
A
I mean, it's the middle of the day.
B
It's the only place where her hands are. It looks crazy. And she's fully tatted.
A
That looks like a normal place for hands.
B
I don't know. It looks pretty low to me. They're above his butt, dude. Where do you want them? Where do you want. Yeah, the blood would leave your hands if they were up on the shoulders. She's probably just a short person because her head right now would be like under chest.
A
She is very small. A very small young thing.
B
I don't know if she's young. Do you want these, Spencer? Just take a few because there's no way we're gonna finish off these. Great, Liz. Wow. Why do I feel powerful calling you anyways? I don't know. I think it's because nobody else does.
A
No, they do.
B
Who? My high school friends. Oh. Well, see, I'm one of them. I'm just like them. Well, I mean, it's never a bad day when in n out's involved, period.
A
Only a good day. Oh, they're saying goodbye.
B
Oh, different cars. Whoa, whoa.
A
They are cheating.
B
People are watching.
A
Well, they should be watching their spouses.
B
They met up in the Panda Express parking lot, hooked up and left. I don't know. The bread's pretty good. Very salty. Her bread is good. I like it. So salty, but really good. Oh, wow. Now she's rushing off to her next appointment. Appointment? You think she's a working girl? No, I just think she has another
A
stop, like her husband's house or she's
B
meeting the husband at Applebee's. In and out is where the. The mistress is. In and out. And then Appleby's like, we're here. Yeah.
A
That reeked of cheating, right?
B
Yes. No, it's cheating for sure. I don't know for sure. No, it's for sure. They might have had like, lunch together on break and then, you know, I think that'd be ridiculous. Benson, put the I. Wow. Did you get a thumbnail, Chris? I think so. Okay. I'm sorry. Trying is all we could have asked for.
A
They both looked like they had driven out of their way.
B
I agree to meet privately, in public. Like they knew we were coming for them.
A
Or like they were hiding something from someone else.
B
Well, if you're bored, if you're looking for something to try, I would say it's worth try. Cheating. Yeah. No, the food we're consuming. Right, right. I would not recommend cheating. Unless you want to blow up your life. Yeah, I agree with that. And just like, just break up with him if you don't like them.
A
Okay. Plus, the co smells like farts.
B
It's really stinky. Yep. But it's good. I don't know. Like chasing. I think it's a pre. It's a pre.
A
It's not good after the fact because I tried it too, and I'm like, I don't even want that.
B
I wanted to put the coleslaw in the burger. I liked it so much. And now that, like, I'm.
A
There's like.
B
It's a pre game.
A
It's a fart.
B
Cane's just isn't very good. Cane does not. It's not very good. I just don't like Cane's, I think.
A
Unless they're paying you to say it.
B
Then I'll be back. Yeah, but no fast food place has ever paid me yet.
A
Idiots.
B
They could be the first. All right, you guys, thank you so much for hanging out with us, watching the sip. Glad to be reunited with Spencer after I karened him out of the office last week. Happy to be back. And everyone's links are in the description section below. Spencer did a house tour on page on on Shane's Patreon. Chris. He does foodie Fridays. Please check it out. I work so hard on them. And Liz vlogs a lot. Actually, I do vlog a lot. I might be having an upcoming collab.
A
Oh, Liz and Spencer collab.
B
Liz and Spence. That is something I'm interested in. All right, I'm gonna have to bring whatever. That's awesome.
A
What are you gonna have to bring?
B
The burrito you're not gonna drive to. All the way to where? My favorite burrito.
A
Where's your favorite burrito?
B
In, like, la? Like, where proper? There's one downtown. There's one in Mid City.
A
There's not a cold gents in Hongwu now.
B
Yeah, I know. That's why I said this.
A
I will not go downtown.
B
He's so politely said, I'll bring it to you. You said don't. Don't attack.
A
Where's Mid City?
B
You got defensive that you would go
A
there and then I might go to Mid City. I might go to Mid City. I'm just not going to downtown.
B
I know, I know. He's already on. You're accusing me like I was.
A
You go downtown for a burial.
B
It's not very far. He lives downtown.
A
That's disgusting. You live downtown.
B
I don't live downtown. He lives like I live near downtown. He could access downtown in 15 minutes. Correct. Exactly. You think yuck about everywhere except for the valley. So. Don't you. I live in Silver Lane. You're like, that's so nice. Yeah, I mean, Lizzie's gonna say yuck to anywhere that isn't the Valley, period. I'm dipping all of these in the cheese Me too.
A
Even though I'm dairy. Ladies Light.
B
Okay. We click off. I just. This onion looks like. Really, right?
A
That was in someone else's mouth, I think.
B
Whose mouth?
A
I don't know, but it's someone else's burger.
B
Thank you guys for watching. We'll see you next week. We love you very much. Goodbye. And that's the sip. That's the thing about me. I can just never hang up. Sam.
Episode Title: Trying the In-N-Out X Raising Canes Viral Secret Menu Hack!!!
Release Date: May 20, 2026
Hosts: Ryland Adams & Lizze Gordon
Guest(s): Spencer, Chris
This week's episode is classic The Sip—a blend of pop culture commentary, personal stories, chaotic energy, and food experimentation. Ryland, Lizze, and friends embark on the viral In-N-Out x Raising Cane’s “secret menu hack,” mingled with characteristic banter on marriage, parenting, bodily woes, haunted hotels, celeb gossip, and their signature uncensored takes.
Timestamps: 00:00–18:00
Timestamps: 05:05–15:00
Timestamps: 10:03–22:00
Timestamps: 18:59–26:18
Timestamps: 26:07–29:42
Timestamps: 30:43–33:40
Timestamps: 38:04–49:15
Timestamps: 52:54–57:04
Timestamps: 58:02–80:00
Timestamps: 79:37–82:59
Timestamps: 83:03–End
(Timestamps: 52:54–80:00)
This episode is a strong sample of The Sip—funny, messy, irreverent, but ultimately revealing of real lives behind influencer gloss. If you enjoy blunt, comedic friendship mixed with viral pop culture and unfiltered parenting stories, you’ll feel right at home.
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