1273: Sorrow Ghazal by Mary Elder Jacobsen

Summary

Episode Summary: The Slowdown - Episode 1273: "Sorrow Ghazal" by Mary Elder Jacobsen

Release Date: January 15, 2025
Host: Major Jackson
Poem Featured: Sorrow Ghazal by Mary Elder Jacobsen

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Personal Reflections by Major Jackson

In this episode of The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily, host Major Jackson opens with a heartfelt reflection on the nuances of his domestic life. He humorously shares the ongoing struggle with his wife over household habits, highlighting the small yet meaningful quirks that define their relationship.

• Dishwasher Dilemma:
  "No matter how many times my wife forbids me, for some reason I keep putting plastic storage containers into the dishwasher." (00:36)
  Jackson candidly discusses his forgetfulness and the minor conflicts that arise from differing household practices, using this as a metaphor for larger themes of love and acceptance.

• Shoes Scattered:
  "For some reason, my wife leaves shoes scattered throughout the house... She's back with. I'm sorry, sweetheart." (03:15)
  He describes navigating his partner’s habit of leaving shoes in various places, turning a simple domestic challenge into a reflection on living harmoniously with another person’s idiosyncrasies.

• Embracing Differences:
  "We love each other and thus have learned to accept our character flaws. Actually, they are character traits. We embrace each other's quirky habits rather than get into little disputes." (04:50)
  Jackson emphasizes the importance of embracing differences in a relationship, suggesting that acceptance fosters peace and strengthens bonds.

Featured Poem: "Sorrow Ghazal" by Mary Elder Jacobsen

Following his personal anecdotes, Major Jackson introduces the day's poem, Sorrow Ghazal by Mary Elder Jacobsen. The poem serves as an emotional exploration of familial relationships, regret, and the complexities of expressing sorrow.

• Expressions of Apology:
  "Forgive me, mea culpa, begged pardon, I'm so sorry is a never-ending list. All the ways we say we're sorry."
  The poem delves into the repetitive nature of apologies within a family dynamic, highlighting the challenges of meaningful reconciliation.

• Mother's Struggle:
  "Moving toward Nightingale now, my mother's begun to fail. And as she leaves the room, I begin to feel sorrowful."
  Jacobsen poignantly captures the heaviness of witnessing a parent's decline, eliciting empathy and a deep emotional response from the listener.

• Intergenerational Connection:
  "You always were so good at fixing things. Just like your father."
  This line underscores the transfer of traits and the enduring influence of parental figures, even in their absence.

• Mutual Sorrow:
  "Aren't we both sorry?"
  The poem culminates in a shared sense of sorrow between the speaker and his ailing mother, emphasizing the mutual pain and understanding that binds them.

Insights and Reflections

Major Jackson uses his personal stories to set the stage for the poem, creating a seamless transition between everyday life and the profound emotions conveyed through poetry. The episode underscores the theme of finding beauty and understanding in the ordinary, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own relationships and the unspoken emotions that tie them together.

• Connecting Through Poetry:
  Jackson remarks on how poetry allows individuals to pause and acknowledge the complexities of life, fostering a deeper connection with oneself and others.
  "In sharing poems, we take a moment to pause and acknowledge the world’s magnitude, and how poets illuminate that mystery." (02:10)

• Embracing Imperfections:
  The narrative throughout the episode emphasizes the acceptance of imperfections, both in oneself and in loved ones, as a pathway to lasting harmony and understanding.

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Conclusion

Episode 1273 of The Slowdown masterfully blends personal storytelling with poetic expression, offering listeners a moment of reflection on love, loss, and the intricate dance of human relationships. Major Jackson's sincere delivery and the evocative verses of Mary Elder Jacobsen's Sorrow Ghazal create a resonant experience, inviting audiences to find solace and insight in the shared human experience.

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Note: For more daily reflections and poems, visit slowdownshow.org and subscribe to the newsletter or follow on Instagram @slowdownshow.

Transcript

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[Major Jackson]

I'm Major Jackson and this is the Slowdown no matter how many times my wife forbids me, for some reason I keep putting plastic storage containers into the dishwasher. She quotes all sorts of studies of its harmful effects. She warns me about the dangerous chemical leaching of bisphenol. And still my forgetfulness takes over. Most likely I am rushing to get to my computer or a meeting or whatever activity I deem more important than our health. I look sheepishly guilty whenever she lifts the warped plastic from the rack, no matter how many times I ask her. For some reason, my wife leaves shoes scattered throughout the house. She's one of those that takes off her boots, sneakers, sandals wherever she feels I go behind her and line them up in a hallway. At night, it is a hazard to go to the kitchen for a glass of water. I navigate our dimly lit home, fearful of stepping on her clogs and stumbling head over heels. As has happened, we love each other and thus have learned to accept our character flaws. Actually, they are character traits. We embrace each other's quirky habits rather than get into little disputes. Familiarity breeds contempt, goes the old saying, but we now see that our peculiar behaviors are simply evidence of our dissimilarities. We found a way of keeping the peace. Today's poem is a loving exchange that underscores the importance of giving room for what makes those we love different from us, even if we wish to change them. Sorrow Guzzle by Mary Elder Jacobson for my sister and brothers, forgive me, mea culpa, begged pardon, I'm so sorry is a never ending list. All the ways we say we're sorry. Mom, I say. How about we don't say sorry today? What's that, love? I can't hear you, she says. I'm sorry I'll be right back. One sec. Let me get my hearing aid. I rethink repeating myself. What's one more sorry? Moving toward Nightingale now, my mother's begun to fail. And as she leaves the room, I begin to feel sorrowful. I can hear her humming. But then. Oh, gosh, she sighs. Looks like my battery died. She's back with. I'm sorry, sweetheart. My eyes aren't what they used to be. Here. Maybe you could help me. Again, I'm sorry. Sorry to be such a bother. It's gotten so trying. It's no trouble, mom. Really. It's me who's sorry. I can't help more. I can see what you mean. It is hard. Here, try this. That should do it. Now, no more sorrys. Okay? Thank you. You always were so good at fixing things. Just like your father. Oh, there I go. Forgive me. Sorry. I do. Go on. I'll stop. I've just been missing him, so. I know. There, there. It's okay. Don't be sorry. We hug each other tightly and long. If I could fix it all, I would. I say I'm sorry. You know, I can see your father still. And all his children. It's too bad he can't see you now. Aren't we both sorry? The Slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. This project is also supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts. On the [e-mail] to get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and and sign up for our newsletter and find us on Instagram @downdownshow. The slowdown is written by me, Major Jackson. Our lead producer is Micah Kilbon, and our associate producer is Maria Wartel. Our music is composed by Alexis Quinn Pedrado engineering by Josh Savageau. Our digital producer is James Napoli. Additional production help by Susanna Sharpless, Jess Miller and Lauren Humpert. Our executives in charge of APM Studios are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Amazing deals on activewear for all the ways you move are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. How did I not know Rack has Adidas? Oh, I love these new Nikes.

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