Summary of Episode 1275: "Love Language" by Angela Narciso Torres
The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily
Host: Major Jackson
Podcast Information:
Produced by American Public Media in partnership with The Poetry Foundation and supported by the National Endowment for the Arts, The Slowdown is a daily poetry ritual hosted by Major Jackson. Each weekday episode features a poem accompanied by moments of reflection, aiming to inspire, calm, and engage listeners with both emerging and established poets.
Introduction: The Challenge of Expressing Love
Timestamp: 00:36
In this episode, Major Jackson delves into the universal yet complex question: "How much do you love me?" He begins by illustrating the difficulty of quantifying affection through a scene from the classic 1990s film White Men Can't Jump.
"In a classic 90s film, White Men Can't Jump, Rosie Perez's character Gloria poses this very question to boyfriend Billy, played by Woody Harrelson. How much do you love me? She asks. Billy responds, I love you infinity. That's not enough, Gloria says." (00:36)
Jackson reflects on how such expressions, though heartfelt, often fall short of conveying the true depth of emotion. He emphasizes that love transcends numerical values or grand declarations, residing instead in the subtle, everyday actions that sustain relationships.
The Unquantifiable Nature of Love
Jackson explores why quantifying love poses such a challenge. He suggests that love is an inherently abstract emotion, deeply felt but difficult to articulate precisely. This abstraction leads to moments of vulnerability and uncertainty when one seeks to measure it.
"Affection is not quantifiable, which is why I am always speechless or caught off guard by it. I feel love from the depth of my being. How can I give a calculable sense of that?" (00:58)
He humorously acknowledges his own attempts to express love through playful metaphors, such as claiming to love someone "more than I love my nose," highlighting the often whimsical nature of romantic expressions.
The Subtlety of Everyday Love
Jackson argues that love is most authentically expressed through minute, consistent actions rather than occasional grand gestures. He provides examples of how everyday interactions and responsibilities become the language of love:
- Random Phone Calls: Maintaining connections between siblings through spontaneous check-ins.
- Thoughtful Gestures: A coworker bringing favorite cookies to the office.
- Household Routines: Completing daily tasks like taking out the trash or cleaning the cat litter to ease a partner's burden.
"Affection is signaled in minute ways, if at all. It is one of the lessons we mature into a random phone call between siblings, a box of favorite cookies brought to the office by a coworker..." (02:30)
These actions, though seemingly mundane, collectively fortify the bonds between individuals, serving as the backbone of enduring relationships.
The Evolutionary and Emotional Significance of Love
Delving deeper, Jackson posits that the desire to measure love may stem from a need for security and reassurance. He suggests that love acts as a protective shield, fostering resilience against external challenges and internal insecurities.
"This most powerful of human feelings literally boosts our immune system and decreases blood pressure. We need to know that if we fall, we are reassured that we will be caught." (04:10)
He further muses on the evolutionary roots of this need, questioning whether love's protective qualities are ingrained in our biology or if they rise from a more profound, perhaps spiritual, place.
Introducing "Love Language" by Angela Narciso Torres
To encapsulate these reflections, Jackson presents the poem "Love Language" by Angela Narciso Torres. The poem beautifully illustrates how love is manifested through attentive, deliberate actions that often go unnoticed but are crucial in maintaining deep connections.
Excerpt from the Poem:
"Across the breakfast table, the stirring and sipping of coffee
ice blue light flickers from his phone, sheening the crags of his face.
Later he'll chisel the cracked earth, lift the rose bush, a stray tangled in thistle and vine, riddled with snails.
Gently he'll pluck the stubborn shells, lay them in the grass in a clay pot.
He's made a bed to plant the rose, but first he'll nip between thumb and forefinger each black pocked leaf." (05:15)
Through vivid imagery, the poem captures the essence of love expressed through patience, care, and the labor of love in daily life. Each action, from tending the garden to washing a daughter's hair, serves as a testament to enduring affection and commitment.
Conclusion: The Enduring Power of Everyday Love
In wrapping up, Jackson reiterates the significance of recognizing and valuing the small, consistent acts that constitute the true language of love. He encourages listeners to appreciate these moments, understanding that they collectively build a resilient and profound foundation for lasting relationships.
"Today's poem shows us how the most mundane acts connect us strongly to one another. Thoughtful actions blaze eternally as evidence of ongoing diligence, care and patience." (05:50)
By embracing these everyday expressions, individuals can cultivate deeper connections and a more tangible sense of being loved, moving beyond the challenges of articulating infinite affection.
Production Credits
The Slowdown is produced by Major Jackson, with Micah Kilbon as lead producer and Maria Wartel as associate producer. Alexis Quadrato composed the music, Josh Savageau handled engineering, and James Napoli served as digital producer. Additional production support was provided by Susanna Sharpless, Jess Miller, and Lauren Humpert. The executives in charge of APM Studios are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith.
For more poems and reflections, visit slowdownshow.org and follow The Slowdown on Instagram @slowdownshow.