1387: Different Kinds of Sadness by Jenny Molberg - The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily

The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily

Episode 1387: "Different Kinds of Sadness" by Jenny Molberg
Host: Maggie Smith
Date: November 3, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode of The Slowdown, host Maggie Smith reflects on the profound impact of friendship during times of hardship. Smith shares personal anecdotes about how friends provided different forms of support during her own difficult moments, emphasizing the life-saving power of community and connection. The episode culminates in the reading and exploration of Jenny Molberg's poem, "Different Kinds of Sadness," which serves as a poetic testament to the complex, sometimes bittersweet, roles friends play in our lives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Life-Saving Power of Friendship

Personal Reflections:
- Maggie opens with heartfelt stories about how her friends have been instrumental in helping her through challenging periods, reminding listeners that support can come in many forms—practical, emotional, and even logistical.
- She recounts moments where friends offered simple pleasures, companionship, and opportunities, all of which helped her to heal and feel less alone.
  
  "My friends have saved my life time and time again. That’s not hyperbole. I mean it."
  — Maggie Smith (01:07)
Accepting Help:
- Smith acknowledges the difficulty many face in accepting help, especially those who pride themselves on self-sufficiency, but she urges listeners to welcome generosity, describing it as 'life-saving.'
  
  "It can be so hard to accept help from others, especially if you pride yourself on being self sufficient. But I took them up on their offers of meals and company and advice. And I’m so glad I did because these things were all life saving."
  — Maggie Smith (02:33)

The Poem as a Love Letter to Friendship

Introduction to the Poem:
- Maggie frames Jenny Molberg’s “Different Kinds of Sadness” as a love letter to those friendships that come through in life’s darkest moments.
- She invites listeners to reflect on the friends who have shown up for them, or to consider being that reliable presence for someone else.
  
  "Today’s poem is a love letter to life-saving friendships. Maybe it will make you think of a person or people in your life who showed up exactly when you needed them..."
  — Maggie Smith (03:20)

Poem Highlights: "Different Kinds of Sadness" by Jenny Molberg

Summary & Key Lines (03:34–05:20)

The poem is a narrative addressed to a friend who traveled far to provide comfort in the aftermath of an escape from an abusive relationship. Molberg blends tactile details (Mexican food, drinks at a station) with wistful observations (shrivelled figs instead of maraschinos, the ghosts of lives unlived), using different kinds of sadness as a motif to underscore both connection and loss.

Notable Excerpts:

> "Sometimes a friend can save your life, as when you drove in from Albuquerque the day I left the man I thought would kill me..."  
— Jenny Molberg, read by Maggie Smith (03:40)

-
> "The lives we have chosen not to live are enough to fill the whole day's train with ghosts and ghosts, ghosts and ghosts."
— Jenny Molberg (04:52)

"But there are also people who have known you forever, which is yet another kind of sadness because you’ve only just met."
— Jenny Molberg (05:05)

Tone & Imagery

The poem beautifully blends comfort and longing, using shared food and drink as metaphors for healing and solidarity.
There is an acknowledgment of mutual sadness, both in the situation and the peculiar details (like garnishes) that color memory and emotion.

Memorable Moments & Quotes

On gratitude for friends’ generosity:

"When I lost my joy, my generous friends were there...these things...helped me close some wounds. All in their own ways restarted my heart."
— Maggie Smith (02:58)
On universal experiences of sadness and connection:

"...there are also people who have known you forever, which is yet another kind of sadness because you’ve only just met."
— Jenny Molberg (05:05)

Timestamps for Key Segments

Host Reflection on Friendship: 01:07–03:30
Introduction of the Poem: 03:20–03:34
Poetry Reading: 03:34–05:20
Episode Closing / Call for Reflection: 05:20–06:10

Final Thoughts

This episode gracefully intertwines personal narrative with poetic exploration, encouraging listeners to appreciate the subtle, essential ways friends can save us. Maggie Smith’s gentle yet candid tone invites introspection, making this not only a poetic experience but a meditation on the sustaining power of human connection.

Transcript

A (0:02)

Let's say your small business has a problem. Like maybe one of your doggie daycare customers had an accident. You might say something like doggone it.

B (0:13)

Hey Chihuahua. Holy schnauzers.

A (0:15)

But if you need someone who can actually help, just say like a good.

B (0:19)

Neighbor, State Farm is there.

A (0:21)

And get help filing a claim from your local state farm agent for your small business insurance needs. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

C (0:31)

The who's down in who Newville were making their list, but some didn't know Walmart has the best brands for their gifts.

A (0:37)

What about toys? Do they have brands kids have been wanting all year?

B (0:40)

Yep. Barbie, Tonys and Lego. Gifts that will make them all cheer.

A (0:45)

Do you mean they have all the brands I adore?

B (0:47)

They have Nintendo, Nespresso, Apple and more.

C (0:50)

What about so the who answered questions from friends till they were blue. Each one listened and shouted from Walmart. Who knew? Shop gifts from top brands for everyone on your list in the Walmart app.

B (1:07)

I'm Maggie Smith and this is the Slowdown My friends have saved my life time and time again. That's not hyperbole. I mean it. You can save someone's life by applying pressure to a wound or performing cpr, but you can also save someone's life by loving them, by just being with them so they're not alone. You can save someone's life by giving them a sense of belonging and hope. Solid friendships can do that. During a difficult time in my life, one friend and I would regularly go out dancing and to see live music together. Another friend and I would roller skate and have happy hours on her front porch. When my marriage ended and I felt squeezed financially, my friend Victoria in LA hired me to teach. I couldn't afford to take my kids on a vacation that summer, but my friend Lisa in Chicago said, come visit and bring the kids and you can all stay at our house. That's now become an annual tradition we all look forward to. Friends also recommended doctors, lawyers, therapists, financial advisors, tax preparers, contractors, handymen and babysitters. As a newly single mom who was trying to juggle a lot with little free time, this logistical help was invaluable. When I lost my joy, my generous friends were there. It can be so hard to accept help from others, especially if you pride yourself on being self sufficient. But I took them up on their offers of meals and company and advice. And I'm so glad I did because these things were all life saving. All of these things in their own ways helped me close some wounds. All in their own ways restarted my heart. Today's poem is a love letter to life, saving friendships. Maybe it will make you think of a person or people in your life who showed up exactly when you needed them. Maybe it will inspire you to be that person for someone else. Different Kinds of Sadness by Jenny Mohlberg To Eah Sometimes a friend can save your life, as when you drove in from Albuquerque the day I left the man I thought would kill me. We went to the train station and sat among the Beaux Arts pediments and bas reliefs having a cocktail called the Manhattan Kansas. You brought a package of fresh tortillas, some butter, some cheese. We'll survive the we A sort of kindness, a kind of sadness. The drinks were garnished with shriveled figs instead of maraschinos, which was a different kind of sadness. The station was built in 1914 and no one who can remember 1914 is left. Your eyes began to time travel behind your white rimmed glasses, and I knew you were thinking about your son. The lives we have chosen not to live are enough to fill the whole day's train with ghosts and ghosts, ghosts and ghosts. But there are also people who have known you forever, which is yet another kind of sadness because you've only just met the Slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. To get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and sign up for our newsletter. And find us on Instagram @downdownshow and blueskylowdownshow.org.