1526: Missing by Mary Morris

Summary

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The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily

Episode 1526: “Missing” by Mary Morris
Host: Maggie Smith
Date: May 29, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, host Maggie Smith explores the enduring presence of loved ones after their passing and how people seek—and sometimes find—signs of connection. Through personal reflection and the powerful poem “Missing” by Mary Morris, Maggie contemplates the idea of ‘welcomed hauntings’ and how poetry helps us stay connected to those we have lost.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Desire to Stay Connected

• Maggie opens with the universal experience of grief:
  • “When we lose people we love, it's hard to let go. We want them to still be here. We want to hold them, to talk to them, to ask them questions we didn't think to ask when they were alive. We want the relationship to continue.” [01:00]
• She reflects on personal and shared stories of sensing loved ones’ presence through dreams and symbolic signs (such as animals, objects, or scents).

Signs from the Beyond

• Maggie shares anecdotes of people perceiving meaningful signs, whether a visiting hummingbird or the scent of a departed loved one’s perfume.
• Memorable Story: Maggie recounts her friend’s experience with a mysterious call from her late father's cell phone—despite the phone being out of power and stored away:
  • "I even have a dear friend who missed a call from her late father's cell phone, even though it was sitting in a drawer somewhere miles away with no battery charge. How to explain that? I can't." [02:10]
• Skepticism vs. Comfort:
  • “Skeptics might chalk it up to coincidences or glitches, but to me it seems like the best kind of haunting—when someone is gone physically from this world, but not gone from you.” [02:25]

The Meaning of ‘Haunt’

• Maggie traces the etymology of ‘haunt’:
  • “The word haunt originally meant to visit often and to continually seek the company of. Only later did it evolve into its current, unsettling meaning. I like knowing the root because it reminds me that not every haunting must be scary or menacing.” [02:40]
• She introduces the idea of a “welcome haunting”—opening oneself to gentle, comforting connections with the dead.

Poetry as a Portal for Connection

• Maggie frames poetry as a tool for exploring grief and seeking hope, noting that seeing or seeking out posthumous signs can help people feel connected and less alone.
• She introduces Missing by Mary Morris as a poem that “creates an active, vivid present between the deceased and the speaker. It invites that possibility in our lives.” [03:20]

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Featured Poem: “Missing” by Mary Morris [03:25]

Maggie reads the poem in full with evocative emphasis.

• The poem weaves together encounters with the spirit of a lost brother, seen in elements of nature, dreams, and fleeting sensations.
• Vivid images (“wolf in wildflowers,” “lilac scent, laughter,” “blue postcard of a boat unmoored”) animate the longing for connection.
• The poem elegantly explores risk, memory, silence, and intergenerational stories of loss.

Notable Excerpts:

• “Saw my brother in a wolf in wildflowers, climate change, bobcats, javelina and praying mantis, lilac scent, laughter.”
• “On anniversaries of their departures they blow kisses in wind from behind mountains, or sing in disguise through gale or bird.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On seeking signs:

  • “Maybe it's possible to have a welcome haunting, to open ourselves up to visitors and to seek their company. However, they are able to make themselves known.” — Maggie Smith [03:00]

• On grief and poetry’s role:

  • “Seeing or even seeking out signs from deceased loved ones helps people who are grieving feel more connected and less alone.” — Maggie Smith [03:10]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:56] Host introduction and opening reflection on grief and longing for lost loved ones
• [02:10] Story of the mysterious call from a late father's phone; discussion about signs and skepticism
• [02:40] The etymology of “haunt” and reinterpretation as a ‘welcome haunting’
• [03:20] Introduction to the poem and its themes
• [03:25] Full reading of “Missing” by Mary Morris

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Episode Tone & Closing Thoughts

Maggie Smith maintains a gentle, contemplative, and compassionate tone throughout the episode, inviting listeners to sit with personal memories and consider the ways poetry helps us process grief and reach for ongoing connection.

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Summary created for listeners and readers seeking a mindful, poetic reflection on grief and the traces loved ones leave behind.

Transcript

[A]

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Liberty Liberty, Liberty Liberty. I'm Maggie Smith and this is the Slowdown. When we lose people we love, it's hard to let go. We want them to still be here. We want to hold them, to talk to them, to ask them questions we didn't think to ask when they were alive. We want the relationship to continue. I've had deceased loved ones visit me in dreams. I have friends who believe their loved ones sent them signs of their presence. A hummingbird, a blue butterfly, a cardinal. Or they found a feather, a coin, or a special object that they associated with that person. Or they suddenly smelled their perfume and it felt like they were saying, I'm here. I'm still with you. I even have a dear friend who missed a call from her late father's cell phone, even though it was sitting in a drawer somewhere miles away with no battery charge. How to explain that? I can't. Skeptics might chalk it up to coincidences or glitches, but to me it seems like the best kind of haunting when someone is gone physically from this world, but not gone from you. The word haunt originally meant to visit often and to continually seek the company of. Only later did it evolve into its current, unsettling meaning. I like knowing the root because it reminds me that not every haunting must be scary or menacing. Maybe it's possible to have a welcome haunting, to open ourselves up to visitors and to seek their company. However, they are able to make themselves known. Seeing or even seeking out signs from deceased loved ones helps people who are grieving feel more connected and less alone. Today's poem sees these signs as a way of staying connected. It creates an active, vivid present between the deceased and the speaker. It invites that possibility in our lives. Missing by Mary Morris Saw my brother in a wolf in wildflowers, climate change, bobcats, javelina and praying mantis, lilac scent, laughter. Saw him howling himself back onto the sidewalk of his life before he lay his body in front of a bus drunk. I don't know what risk is really to be that bare, that happy with ruin. The dead won't give their secrets away. Occasionally in dreams we receive a postcard with an unknown stamp from a place so remote there is no dirt or bees, no grass, only air and water. A blue postcard of a boat unmoored or single ore afloat on the back a message so faint or a palimpsest, layer upon layer upon illegible. On anniversaries of their departures they blow kisses in wind from behind mountains or sing in disguise through gale or bird. Then silence waif thin, let the twilight come dusk, it's darker bright, its mission with nighthawk, wolves and great horned owls, its ancient fables and constellations, letters to the evening of missing brothers, children, husbands gone north, and our own two parents with their creation stories us. The Slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. To get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and sign up for our newsletter. Find us on Instagram lodownshow and bluesky.downdownshow.org the slowdown is written by me, Maggie Smith. The show is produced by Micah Kielbon and Maria Wurtel. Our music is composed by Kyle Andrews, engineering by Derek Ramirez and Maurizio Dirico. Our editor and digital producer is Jordan Turgen. Additional production help by Susanna Sharpless, Ruby Sigmund, and Lauren Humpert. APM's Director of Distribution is Amy Lundgren, and our president is Chandra Kavati. Hi, it's Maggie. Thanks for listening to the Slowdown. Whether you press play to find calm or vivid inspiration, we're glad you're here. As a public media podcast, we rely on listener support to share these moments of poetry. Please consider donating [e-mail] donate.