[encore] 1184: End of December by Ashjan Hendi, translated by Moneera Al-Ghadeer - The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily

Summary4 min read

Summary of "End of December" Episode (1184) - The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily

Podcast Information

Title: The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily
Host: Major Jackson
Episode: [encore] 1184: End of December by Ashjan Hendi, translated by Moneera Al-Ghadeer
Release Date: December 31, 2024
Producer: American Public Media in partnership with The Poetry Foundation

Introduction to the Episode

In this episode of The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily, host Major Jackson delves into the profound themes of love, commitment, and the dynamics of long-term relationships. Released on the final day of December, the episode serves as a reflective piece as listeners transition from one year to the next.

Exploring Seasonal Contrasts in Relationships

Major Jackson opens the discussion by contrasting the vibrant expressions of love typically seen in summer with the often colder and lonelier seasons that follow.

Major Jackson [00:10]: "In summer, it feels like we see more hand holding in public, more kissing, more elaborately planned proposals, and of course, more weddings."

He highlights how the warmth of summer fosters public displays of affection and joyous celebrations of union, making the impending shift to colder seasons a stark contrast. This seasonal metaphor sets the stage for exploring the enduring nature of relationships amidst changing circumstances.

The Longevity and Challenges of Long-Term Relationships

Transitioning from the seasonal metaphor, Jackson delves into the realities that test the longevity of relationships. He reflects on the common occurrence of long-married couples separating and the emotional impact such events have on their friends and community.

Major Jackson [02:15]: "With humans living longer, we are spending more years than ever with lifelong partners, sometimes unhappily."

He contemplates whether love in a marital union is infinite or if it's possible for it to wane over time. The discussion raises questions about the sustainability of affection and the challenges posed by daily routines that can erode the joy within a relationship.

The Emotional Investment in Marital Dynamics

Jackson probes into the psychological aspects of how individuals invest emotionally in their relationships and the implications when those investments are challenged.

Major Jackson [04:30]: "Maybe we over invest in the hope that newly married couples represent and thus their irreconcilable differences become a verdict on our own optimism."

He suggests that societal expectations of eternal love may lead to heightened personal stakes when witnessing the dissolution of friendships or marriages, blurring the lines between empathy and personal disillusionment.

The Need for Support Structures in Marital Separations

Addressing the lack of standardized support for friends witnessing the breakdown of a marriage, Jackson advocates for a more compassionate and present approach during such times.

Major Jackson [06:45]: "There should be a playbook on how to handle the separation of couples who are your friends."

He emphasizes the importance of being emotionally available and supportive, mirroring the support typically given at the inception of a union, thereby fostering healthier coping mechanisms for all parties involved.

Introducing and Analyzing the Poem: "End of December"

The episode culminates with the introduction and recitation of the poem "End of December" by Ashjan Hendi, translated by Moneera Al-Ghadeer. The poem serves as a thematic reflection of the discussions held.

Major Jackson [09:20]: "As today's poem suggests, one of the secrets to a successful marriage is moderation and restraint."

"End of December" by Ashjan Hendi (Translated by Moneera Al-Ghadeer):

refrain from being drunk in love.
Don't drink love's last bottle from this year's table.
Return the dregs to your glass, the glass back to full bottle.
Return the bottle to its grapes, the grapes to the vineyard love back to its lover.
Return time's movement and time's dial back to the clock on the wall.
Turn your lone chair counterclockwise, then reset the table.

The poem metaphorically advises against exhausting the depths of love hastily, advocating for a measured and respectful approach to maintaining affection and commitment over time.

Concluding Reflections

Major Jackson wraps up the episode by reiterating the value of moderation in love and the importance of nurturing relationships continuously. He invites listeners to incorporate The Slowdown into their daily routines as a source of calm, inspiration, and reflection through poetry.

Key Takeaways:

Seasonal Metaphor: The contrast between summer's exuberant love displays and the introspective colder seasons highlights the cyclical nature of relationships.
Longevity Challenges: Long-term relationships face tests from routine and changing emotions, questioning the sustainability of eternal love.
Emotional Investment: Over-investing in the optimism of relationships can lead to personal disillusionment when facing separations.
Support Systems: There is a need for structured support for friends during marital breakdowns, akin to the support at the beginning of unions.
Moderation in Love: The poem "End of December" emphasizes restraint and thoughtful nurturing as keys to successful, enduring love.

Notable Quotes:

On Public Displays of Love: "In summer, it feels like we see more hand holding in public... more weddings." [00:10]
On Longevity of Relationships: "With humans living longer, we are spending more years than ever with lifelong partners, sometimes unhappily." [02:15]
On Emotional Investment: "Maybe we over invest in the hope that newly married couples represent..." [04:30]
On Support During Separations: "There should be a playbook on how to handle the separation of couples who are your friends." [06:45]
On the Poem's Theme: "One of the secrets to a successful marriage is moderation and restraint." [09:20]

This episode of The Slowdown effectively intertwines poetic reflection with real-life relationship dynamics, offering listeners both emotional resonance and thoughtful insights into the complexities of enduring love.

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Transcript1 lines

[00:00]
Major Jackson
Foreign I'm Major Jackson and this is the Slowdown. In summer, it feels like we see more hand holding in public, more kissing, more elaborately planned proposals, and of course, more weddings. Under warm sun, people are toasting to their new unions, surrounded by families and friends bringing together their worlds. It's hard to imagine the lonelier, colder seasons coming at all while this jubilant communal love is everywhere you look. But it's the longevity through these cycles that test all couples, old and new. Occasionally one hears of long married couples who decide after many years to go their separate ways. Always my heart goes out to them. For the parties involved, though it may be unavoidable, even liberatory. Knowing sides exist, I typically refrain from overt judgment and opt for massive support. Why does the breakup of friends impact us so much? Maybe we over invest in the hope that newly married couples represent and thus they are irreconcilable differences become a verdict on our own optimism. There should be a playbook on how to handle the separation of couples who are your friends. For example, why isn't it standard to be present during difficult and trying times for married couples? Just as we are at the beginning of a union, sustaining a relationship carries many challenges, one of them the vow of loving forever. With humans living longer, we are spending more years than ever before with lifelong partners, sometimes unhappily. The grind of daily routines so often renders life less pleasurable and more difficult, hard to share with one another. Estrangement and loss of affection in a marriage beg the Is it possible to deplete one's love? Or is love in a marital union endless? Is there a warranty date in knowing someone so well that you can repeat their stories word for word, predict their chewing habits during meals, name the history of their ailments and insecurities? Tests to long term commitments are bound to happen. Expending too much affection can lead to exhaustion and the bruise of eventual disappointment. As today's poem suggests, one of the secrets to a successful marriage is moderation and restraint. End of December by Ashian Hindi Translated by Manira Al Khadir refrain from being drunk in love. Don't drink love's last bottle from this year's table. Return the dregs to your glass, the glass back to full bottle. Return the bottle to its grapes, the grapes to the vineyard love back to its lover. Return time's movement and time's dial back to the clock on the wall. Turn your lone chair counterclockwise, then reset the table. The slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. This project is also supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts. On the web@arts.gov to get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and sign up for our newsletter. Find us on Instagram Slowdown Show.