← The Spiritual Hustler
The Spiritual Hustler
Seasons, Reasons and Death Portals (and How BRIGHT It Can Look on the Other Side) with Lindsey Schwartz
00:52:01
Loading summary
Transcript108 lines
- [00:02]
A
Welcome to the Spiritual Hustler podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Zweig, multi seven figure serial entrepreneur, best selling author and branding and business coach. And this is a show where we are redefining the word hustle. Reclaiming our true feminine nature of magnetism and putting down the self judgments and shame around loving to work and making.
- [00:25]
B
A lot of money at it.
- [00:26]
A
On this show, you're going to learn how to stop hustling and start spiritually hustling. By pressing play. You are now part of a new movement of women who don't hustle for money. We hustle for meaning. We don't hustle from lack. We hustle for love. We don't hustle from survival. We hustle for humanity's thriving. We hustle toward healing the ancestral programming of fear and step into a new understanding of safety in the body to receive. This shift isn't going to only heal your life. It's going to make you a whole lot richer too. This is the Spiritual Hustler podcast. Well, hello my beautiful spiritual hustlers and welcome back to the podcast. I feel like I've got some maybe newbies listening to this podcast because my guest today is a babe and is a total trailblazer in her space. So if you're new to the show and you've come to listen to my guest today, hi, I'm Jessica and I'm so happy you're here. And if you're not new, I love you. Welcome back. Thank you as always, always for being here on the Spiritual Hustler podcast where I talk to some of the most beautiful, inspiring, incredible women in the world. And I also share a lot of my own personal stories on my solos where we really dive into the path that so many of us walk as women that are ambitious and badass and want to make a ton of impact and are also really awake and, and heart centered and conscious and spiritual. And I do not think that those two things are mutually exclusive. And if they are, you're probably a little bit out of alignment or not fully embodied in your total magic. Because when we bring down the 5D, as I like to call it, into the 3D, we become activated. We become so much more magnetic when we're really attuning our hard skills as business women with a deeper purpose and connection to spirit. Hence the Spiritual Hustler. All in the name of the divine feminine reclamation and returning. And speaking of the divine feminine rising returning. We're here in the year of the Snake. You guys are gonna hear me talk about the Year of the Snake a lot. I'm really, really into Chinese astrology and really into feng shui and feel into the lunar New year so much more powerfully than I feel into, like the 12 month January 1st Gregorian calendar. And I'm especially excited about this metaphysical metaphorical animal totem of the snake, which is a feminine symbol, which is a yin year. We're not in a yang year. We were last year with the year of the Dragon. And so I'm all about what it represents, not only in women rising into seats of leadership and authority and influence and seats of power, yes, and really being queens of their own world, but what it requires to do that with integrity, honestly, to do that with real authenticity and to do it with a true commitment to what needs to die in order for you to be reborn. All the time, constantly. Because we go through so many micro deaths and rebirths, just as the snake sheds its skin and represents the ultimate alchemy of transformation, my guest today is really giving all of us such a gift. I actually had Lindsay Schwartz come to Nashville a few months ago, and she asked me. She's like, will you let me know when you're going to publish this podcast? Because I'm going through a lot right now and I have not yet shared this with my community, and I respected that, and she really needed to share it herself on her own platform. So I waited to publish this episode so that, you know, I could align to that request, because her story today is such a raw story of what death and rebirth really look like. In fact, more death on certain levels. Death of relationships, death of partnerships, death of quite a few things, which I'll let you get into in the interview. But I really feel so proud to publish this episode. Not just because she's a woman that I love and respect, but. But because I think we just need to talk about this stuff out loud so much more as women. You know, I hadn't really personally touched grief myself in a long, long time until December of this last winter, just a few months ago, when my dog passed away. And that was such a portal. And it changed me. It changed me on a cellular level. It's softened me, it's humbled me. It kind of subdued my ambition in a really good and healthy way. And I just hope that wherever you are in your life listening to this episode, because I. I think we're all on this constant continuum of death and rebirth. Micro, macro, tiny fractures, massive disruptions, whatever is real for you. I really hope that this interview today gives you so much hope. Gives you so much affirmation that you are not alone. That you are so seen and celebrated for the darkness. Because it is in the darkness that we truly do find our light. And that journey is not fucking easy. In fact, most of the time, it's awful. And the best part about that, though, is that it's not a destination, a station, a stop, a permanency, ever. It's always part of your evolution. And the only constant thing in life is change. And I'm so excited for Lindsay to pour her truth out onto this conversation into your ears today so that you can really, hopefully understand the meaning of your own mess. And if you don't know who Lindsay Schwartz is, man, get, get ready. Cause she's a freaking light. A bright, sparkling frequency of light. She's also an author, an investor, a master community builder, and the founder of PowerhouseWomen. Maybe you've heard of Powerhouse. It's one of the most on fire communities in the country. She is a woman who is fiercely, fiercely committed to supporting other women. This is another reason why I freaking love her. Because she is a sister with a capital S. She is the woman that is walking the walk. And she invests a lot of her time in mentoring women and girls of all ages, from high achieving entrepreneurs to high school students. She is the host of the Powerhouse Women podcast. I was just on it, actually. You should go check out my interview there. And really, she's just creating annual events and conversation and content and most of all, a real, real ripple effect in the ether, a real dent in the universe when it comes to women empowerment. And I'm so proud of her bravery today and the courage that she has clearly embodied to show up as the gorgeous, phenomenal, stylish, freaking epic leader that she is, who also happens to be deeply human. And I know you're going to love this one today. It's a special one. So without further ado, here is my amazing, amazing interview with Lindsay Schwartz.
- [07:59]
B
I'm just so happy that you're here in the flesh with me after girl crushing on you for, like, months.
- [08:05]
C
It's so mutual.
- [08:06]
B
Yeah.
- [08:07]
C
And the girl crush is so real.
- [08:09]
B
So good. It's so. It's so good when it's mutual like you, when you finally connect, it's like, hi.
- [08:14]
C
Hi, sister. Yeah.
- [08:15]
B
Okay, so before we get into all the things, because I really do want to talk, actually on the note of your fashion transformation, just identity at large. The podcast, as you know, is a spiritual hustler. You are an embodiment of that. What are you currently Spiritually hustling for Lindsay.
- [08:35]
C
I think the thing that drives me the most is my own expansion. I think that's what I love about entrepreneurship, is whether we know it or not, we really are signing up for a personal evolution, a personal transformation. You don't get to build a business that's. Or you don't get to birth something that's bigger than you without going into yourself and unblocking what. What about. You can't go into that vision. And I. I think I've always just been really hungry to evolve as a soul. I think I have a very old soul, which I love being on this podcast because we could just talk about all of it. I've actually been told this might be my last human life tracks before this is your final.
- [09:16]
B
Before you ascend it.
- [09:17]
C
Maybe. We're not sure. We're not sure. That's beautiful feedback. I think I've always just felt this deep connection with the depth of my soul and the fact that the life I was living, especially in my 20s and 30s, just wasn't aligned with what I felt at a deeper level. And I've always just been hungry to find that connection that. It feels as though I'm showing up as the most authentic version of me, and I feel the closest I've ever been. But it's come on the other side of several seasons of just shedding the layers.
- [09:52]
B
Yeah. I'm so curious to know about those layers. So can we go back a little bit? Because it's really. I love what you've built with Powerhouse. It's so badass.
- [10:03]
A
It is so.
- [10:03]
B
And not only is it badass, it's like, of the moment, like, I feel like there's been a death of the personal brand and the rise of the community brand. Like that, really. Platforms that are pouring in to their people is the future. And you are so right on time. And I want to get into all of that at some point, but 20s, 30s, what. Who were you? I want to talk about the layers up until this, like, current unpeeled version that's looking at me today. What were you doing before Powerhouse?
- [10:37]
C
I. This is where I resonated so much with your story. The more I learned about it because I had a distinctly different business journey before Powerhouse Women. And the contrast of that has actually allowed me to bring Powerhouse women into the world in a way that is so much more authentic. And I'll. I'll kind of just give the highlight of that. It was my very first business was in network marketing.
- [11:04]
B
Okay.
- [11:04]
C
And as a capricorn Oldest daughter generator, you name it. Yeah, I was like, oh, and coming from the corporate world, instead of being just paid a salary, I was getting paid, like, for my work.
- [11:18]
B
You were, like, eating what you killed. What your output directly impacts your input.
- [11:23]
C
Versus I like to that. Yes, I really liked that same gotcha. And yet what was true about network marketing is it was very driven by the accolades, the recognition. You were always kind of chasing that next. Just that next level, that next, you know, whatever it was on your little badge when you went to the. The conferences. And that was beautiful. It actually, I think, taught me a lot about just how capable I was, how great I was with people. I loved a lot of that. And I hit this point about six or seven years in that I just felt really restless. And what was true at that point was there I had had all these bigger dreams. I had all the equipment to start a podcast. I had, you know, just thoughts of, like, maybe could I step outside of this box that I had kind of painted myself into? And then every time I would go to take the next action, I would eventually talk myself out of it. And I was in this season of just deep. I just remember feeling so restless. Like, I know there's more for me. I'm so grateful for what I've achieved. But looking back, what was happening is I was never going beyond that point of what I knew myself to be capable of. So I was staying within this very controlled environment of not risking failure, not wanting to look stupid or duh, you know, just like that. We don't even realize what a prison that is, because all the growth lies outside of that. And in this season, I remember starting 2016, and I have this document still saved in my Google Drive that says, a book a week in 2016. Because I knew that personal development could be really powerful to help me kind of shake out of this funk. And little did I know that I would actually end up writing a book that year, which was never, ever, like, not on any vision board goal list. And it was something that I had a lot of evidence that I wasn't good at. I had this, like, little blog, talk about personal branding. I had this blog called Love Lindsay.
- [13:19]
B
So I looked so cute.
- [13:21]
C
And the branding was pink and purple. We're talking, like, Lisa Frank fluorescent pink and purple. And, you know, I knew that just, you know, in that world, it was just important to be consistent. So I consistently published one article per year, per year for three years. Three articles.
- [13:39]
B
Okay.
- [13:39]
C
And I just was shocked that it just didn't take off And I wasn't a household name, but really I was just so petrified to put myself out there. So here, this opportunity. A friend posted on Facebook saying, I'm going to write a book. I'm doing this 16 week program to help entrepreneurs, you know, self publish a book. And I still have the screenshot of the message I sent her because it said, I don't know why I'm messaging you, but something inside said, you should do this. And that process, I mean, you've written multiple books. The process of writing a book is. Is it just an invitation to let your whole identity die?
- [14:13]
B
Yes. Yes. It's.
- [14:14]
C
You become someone different.
- [14:15]
B
It's a complete transformation, transmutation, dissolution of your physical self into something like you. Deepen the void that you can.
- [14:27]
C
Yeah, yeah. And it, it really pressed against everything that I was afraid of being seen.
- [14:34]
B
Yes.
- [14:34]
C
Being judged, not having something be perfect. You know, when my, my book published, it actually had a typo on the COVID which was the biggest gift I've ever, ever received. And the process really changed me over that year. And I really did it just to shake myself out of this walking coma that I had been in. Never planned for it to become something I was happy building my other business. But what was so distinctly different about my previous business journey to then the book, which is called Powerhouse Woman, Just one. What that led me on was this journey of realizing that the magic really was when I stepped outside of what I knew and what I could see. And I just kept doing that. Then it was the, the publisher editor said, well, a lot of people will do like a book launch event because I was going to do all of the marketing for this book. No idea what I was doing, but I was like, well, I guess I could put a little event together. How hard could that be? You know, my original vision was to have it in someone's living room. Like, it wasn't, it wasn't as big of a vision as, you know, people see it today. And that was the first Powerhouse Women event. It was this little four hour brunch event just celebrating this book and having conversations with women about, just about getting outside of our comfort zones and bringing ideas to life. And then at the end of that event, I remember standing on stage and just kind of waving the people goodbye. And then they said, well, what's next? And I was like, literally nothing. This is all I have. And I say that to say, you know, what has come in the seven years since that first, that book launch and the event is realizing that my 33 years up until that point, until I published the book, everything had just been so controlled. It had been. I'd been operating within the known and wanting results that only come from the unknown and the flow and the surrender that that puts me in. Because I can't control it. If I can't actually see exactly where I'm going, I can't overly control it. Yeah. Has been so distinctly different from how uncomfortable I felt building that first business. And it was verging on burnout. Had a lot of people pleasing and self abandonment tendencies that I didn't even see until I was experiencing something different. And I think I'm now at the precipice of the next evolution of that where I realize even the way I've been working up until this point, which was far more surrendered, far less in like the Hustle and Burnout, I've still been making it way too hard. You know, I'm learning like a whole new way to operate that I know you talk a lot about on this podcast.
- [17:12]
B
Yes. And I want to, I want to go there because seven years later, I mean, you look at what you've done, it's no small feat. It's unbelievable what you've done. And what's really clear to me when I watch you is there's, it's beautiful, it's, it's well branded, it's stylish, you've got some big freaking names that pour through your community. And there's so much depth, there's so much soul, there's so much sisterhood, there's so much love and truth and connection and vulnerability. And I know as somebody who holds what I consider to be similar containers, what you have to hold as the founder and the face, because it's coming from all sides of who you are. Like the business side and the personal side, the spiritual side, the mental and emotional side. And so what has, you know, Lindsay, I don't want to say 2.0, probably like 7.0, like right from the business perspective, because I want to talk about the personal side and you know, what is really kind of really going on behind the scenes. But what has had to. If expansion is what you said, you're spiritually hustling for what has been some of the biggest upgrades and moments for you to move through as this CEO and leader that you've become today, the.
- [18:43]
C
Biggest one that comes to mind that I am just really settling into in a whole new way right now is realizing how much I. Because it was so uncomfortable for me to be operating in this unknown Just. And it felt no one was talking about back then, just the power of our intuition and just that inner knowing. And so I outsourced a lot of that intuition and that knowing to people who just seemed smarter than me, who were making more money, to the most well meaning of mentors who really saw, they, they saw what they couldn't really put into words because there's a magic to powerhouse women. That's what you're feeling like the frequency really is magic. And that seemed too easy. It seemed too easy that I could really just like I will get a vision of what events are supposed to look like and I'll just lean into the parts as far as like the marketing, the promotion that genuinely light me up again generator in human design. And I'm a 2, 4 generator. So the 2 is most of what I'm supposed to do actually just comes easy to me and I can't really explain how. And that's, that's sort of this nuance that I thought it couldn't just be that easy to allow this entity to really grow. And it could, it could be not just easy in terms of I don't have to force it. Right. There's a lot of. Yeah, I love to work. I like, I love to put in my effort. Like I love to hustle in a very aligned way. But there can be an ease to it and it can be fun.
- [20:20]
B
Yes.
- [20:21]
C
And I had never seen an example of work that was both profitable and fun and had a sense of ease and lightness and play to it. So I worked to overcomplicate that.
- [20:33]
B
Yeah, I know that's, that's a fudgeing upgrade and I still do unlock. Right. Well it's, it's part of the programming and the matrix that we're in. But like what you just stated is what I'm trying to teach here, what I'm trying to embody, which is what I want all women to feel is like it's supposed to be fun. It can be joyful and profitable at the same time and easy. Like who knew that it could be easy?
- [20:57]
A
It can be.
- [20:58]
B
And even though that's a touch and go learning and unlearning, the fact that you reflected that's been one of your biggest upgrades as you've risen in your career is so beautifully aligned to what I'm trying to tell my community here now. The, the brand is ascending. I see you every time I see the next event, it looks just more and more impactful and powerful. You're so beloved by your community. You've Got a Fire podcast blowing out your events across the country. And in the last year, it's not been all that it seems. And I really want to open this up for my community because there. I often say when I reflect back on my dark night of the soul, which is really a dark year of the soul, was when I was killing it the most professionally, when from the outside in the world was like, God, that girl's crushing. And inside, I. I wanted to like, burn it all down and die. That was very much related to my business. I'm interested to hear you share, you know, how you've been navigating that paradox. There's been some significant things that have happened to you in the last year, and you still show up. So how have you been showing up?
- [22:20]
C
For you, it really has been the most profound year of expansion. And I think back to. In really the beginning of. So we're in 2024 right now. I was launching this new offer, really to serve the women who are at a little bit further along place in their business, just to. To bring that depth and bring that expansion. And we just called it the Expanders Retreat. So I was in this. I was in this conversation about what expansion really was, and speaking to this community of women about how expansion is. Is really the work of how do we expand so we can hold more, so we can welcome more in. And I was just very much in the inquiry myself. And around that time frame, I went through my first ever really significant loss, which was a pet. How old was your dog? He was 13. Oh, my God. His name was Ozzy and he really. I. He was the most human dog I've ever seen or met.
- [23:21]
A
And what kind of dog was he?
- [23:23]
C
He was a rescue. So we weren't really sure, you know, but he was. I think he's just pure angel. Yeah. What he was. That's the breed.
- [23:30]
B
I mean, you met my dog mom for life.
- [23:32]
C
That's why when people's dogs, like, give a lot of love, I'm like, no, please don't. I also don't want to reinforce any behaviors you're trying to shift, but I will let them jump all over me.
- [23:42]
B
Because same dogs get a pass no matter what they want to do. They're.
- [23:45]
C
They're humans. Don't jump on me. No serious dogs, please.
- [23:48]
B
You do whatever you want.
- [23:49]
C
You go first.
- [23:50]
B
Totally.
- [23:51]
C
And it was, you know, we. We kind of knew it was coming and. And yet it was. It just opened this portal in my heart to deeper feelings than I had allowed myself to feel. That's actually been a big fear of mine is losing people that I love. And I think it just cracked my heart open to. And I, I think I even knew intuitively at that point, like this is what expansion feels like. It's allowing myself to go deeper into that feeling of grief and loss. And also that's just stretching my capacity to hold even more. And, and it was, it was challenging. I mean, it was like right in the midst of some other big things that were going on, so creating space for myself to feel that grief and also then showing up a few weeks later at this retreat that I planned and shortly after I realized and it was like one of those things that once you know it, you can't unknow it. And, and I do have a commitment with myself to take immediate action when I, when it's like a knowing. And it was the knowing that a really close business partnership, close friendship was not aligned. We didn't want the same things. And in order to keep going the way we were going, we both had to self abandon at, at an extent. And I remember having the conversation that right after this retreat and just not even being able to put it into words, I just knew it and I was starting, I was in this season of just really deeply honoring the things that I knew had to, had to happen in order for me to be authentically in this expansion journey. And I think it's hard when we know that, that maybe like a season has come to an end or a relationship has come to an end and we can't even explain it other than just to say, yeah, I just know, I feel it in my bones that like the way this relationship has been moving forward cannot anymore. And if the relationship can't hold my complete honesty in that meaning, like the friendship doesn't stay intact, then it was never like the depth of like the relationship that I, that I thought it was. And it was one of the hardest conversations I've ever had.
- [26:07]
B
How long were you in business together for?
- [26:09]
C
It was someone who came on board with me in 2020, so about four years. And someone who I love just dearly, you know, someone who has, has just been such a big expander for me. And that was just an incredibly hard conversation. You've had your own experience with, you know, it's like a divorce.
- [26:34]
B
There's nothing quite like it. When you break up with a friend or you break up with a lover that is its own unique pain. But breaking up with a business partner, it's, it is a divorce. It involves typically money and history and emotional entanglement, and especially when it's two women. I say that that business partnership was the biggest, One of the biggest soul contracts of my life. Taught me so much, and I. Sounds like it. It's taught you a lot, too.
- [27:07]
C
My. I wouldn't even say regret, but I. I finally got to voice this to her. I never. I actually didn't get to complete that partnership in the way I would have liked to, because as. As we were having our kind of. Our final conversations just about the money and really just saying what each of us on our hearts needed to say. It was. It was when I started to know that my husband of 13 years, and I would later confirm, was having an affair. So now I was not even really able to grieve the end of this business partnership. I was thrust into the reality that I was now probably also losing my actual marriage. And that pressed against every single wound that I needed, you know, for my evolution, for my expansion that I really was ready to face. But all of the not enoughness, all of the shame around my own sexuality and being enough, and it brought it all rushing to the surface. And I just remember in that season, holding the. Just the bigness of what I knew I was actually in. I mean, I knew that this was. This was not the normal type of expansion that most people could probably even hold. And I knew. I knew that I could. But I also knew that this was going to require me to. To not show up for the business in the same way that I had been showing up. And so I. I remember before I was ready to confront that, that was actually the reality. I remember one morning I. I woke up and I. I just was so present to how afraid I was to be alone. And I knew that in order to honor what I would probably need to do for myself, which would be to end the relationship, I just wanted to be. I needed some time with myself to just get really curious about why that was. And so I went away. I, you know, I just kind of let him know. I said, hey, I'm going to take a couple of days. We had had a. A conversation where again, just my intuition knew it. I just knew, but I wasn't ready to hear the truth yet. And I went away. I went away for about three nights and I just sat with myself and just sat with my inner child and just asked all the questions about, like, what. What is it about being alone that feels so confronting and so scary. Because unless I. Unless I confronted that, I wasn't going to be able to honor myself in the decision that I knew I needed to make. Because what would have kept me in the relationship, and this is. No, everyone makes the decision that's right for them. I just knew for me, I couldn't honor this relationship anymore and honor myself. I had to choose myself. But I. I had the most transformative three days of just crying deeper than I've ever cried, starting to even grieve, you know, what I thought I knew to be true and realizing that I was not in touch with what I wanted or needed. I didn't actually trust myself to meet my own needs and to start to put action behind that. It simple things like. And I think especially with being such an overachiever and having work be my coping mechanism of choice, going far too long without using the restroom or going far too long without a meal, not. Not physically meeting my own needs. Yeah. And so I went home and within, you know, the next. It was really kind of started to unfold and, you know, basically discovered what I knew to be true and just started to prioritize my life for the first time ever through the question of, well, what's loving for me right now? What's the most loving thing? It's okay. It's to go and have this direct conversation. It's to face this head on. It's to, you know, instead of prioritize someone else's comfort and what's honoring to them, it's to run it through that filter of like, well, what. What is actually most loving to me right now? And to say that that was really. That was such a pattern interrupt at the beginning of this, you know, what ended up being this whole summer of rebuilding a relationship with myself in. In this new season of aloneness that I now found myself in. And the original question about, like, how did I keep showing up? I. So I didn't. And people don't really realize that, but I actually did ahead of time, knowing I was about to like, really allow myself to go into that season of just healing and grieving and starting the process, whatever that was going to look like. I set aside with my. With my podcast team and we did two full days and I batched everything I would need. And I. I think I have that ability to turn off, like, I can tap into work mode when I need to, but I was doing it as that answer of what's most loving to me is I'm going to give myself the time to fully feel this and whatever it brings up. So from June until my event, which was the beginning of August, I went away. I wasn't. I mean, I could barely work an hour a day. It was the deepest of grief and the deepest of just allowing it to hurt and just to. To break, you know, And. And I'm still, you know, healing it. It's not. It's not like I can sit here and say, okay, that was a great three months. You don't heal 13 years in three months. But. But I am. I'm really proud of myself because I'm just so proud of how I showed up for myself.
- [33:26]
A
I'm proud of you.
- [33:27]
C
Thanks.
- [33:28]
B
I'm so proud of you.
- [33:30]
C
Yeah.
- [33:30]
B
Thank you. Thank you, first of all, for your. Your truth and your vulnerability and your honesty. I just know it's creating a quantum healing for so many. Listening and witnessing you be in the process and choosing what I would call doing the light work, which is going into the dark full throttle and surrendering to the pain and to the grief. The questions that emerged around, how do I love myself first through this, Lindsay, that's gold. It's true enlightenment for people to hear. And as you're talking, you know, this concept of expansion, and you've got that in your brand and your experience, and it was the first way you answered this question of, like, what are you spiritually hustling for? And I think of expansion, I think a lot of people do as a positive, you know, as this, like, you know, horizon. Right.
- [34:33]
C
You know, it's like this upward tick.
- [34:35]
B
Exactly like that. Sounds fun. Let's expand. And this idea of expanding your capacity to hold the. The depth of grief and sadness and transformation and breakdown is equally as valid and necessary as the expansion that we're seeking to rise and learn how to love ourselves more and have a deeper impact. And it's a real reframe, actually, on that. That word, because we talk a lot about ego, death, and identities shift, and that's clearly what you're going through, but at the end of the day, it's expansion. It's a real lesson in your story of what that can really look like and that you're capable of it. And I just want to know what is coming up for you, like, what's next for you? Like, where do you see Lindsay's life, the business, your time, and how you spend it? Like, what is true for you, really today?
- [35:42]
C
I have no idea. And I was sharing with you how I think the gift of this season and leaning into that and just letting it, just the analogy of fire, for whatever reason, has felt very applicable of just. But, like, this purifying, beautiful Flame that is, is going to take anything with it that is meant to go to the extent that I'm willing to release it. Because I can even see in previous seasons where I knew that I was going through a similar purification, upgrade, expansion, whatever you want to call it. And I still had my death grip on certain things. My relationship was actually one. There were other times that I was like, gosh, if I grow anymore, I just don't know. I don't know, like, does this relationship still continue? And I don't think it always has to end. I think we were talking about this earlier of it's not this like, you better keep up with me or else. But there was a certain point that if I'm going to keep honoring myself and keep following my path and why my soul is here, it's just. It's going to look like me continuing to expand and. And people have free will about what, you know, what journey they want to choose and opt into. So at some point I think I realized that I was holding back, just hoping and praying. Now there's like this freedom of really being able to reset anything. Like, nothing about me has to come into this next chapter. And I think the more I've learned about quantum physics and the more I understand how this really works. So I've just been allowing myself to sit in this season, like not to rush back into turning it into a lesson or my next book or my next whatever. And I was sharing with you as we were before we got started. I, you know, releasing all, a lot of. Almost all physical possessions. Most of my clothing I've either donated or gotten rid of. We're selling real estate, so I don't technically have a home right now, and I don't know where I'm supposed to land yet. So I'm just allowing that to free flow. Like I have. I don't worry I have a roof over my head, you know, but I don't have a physical address in a space that's my own right now. I. I'm just really carefully looking at my, the patterns, the. The way that I operate in friendships and in business and almost imagining this, like, bonfire, this beautiful bonfire that's, you know, again, purifying and taking with it just any of the energy that I don't really want to carry. And I'm really carefully releasing things to be, you know, put through that purifying fire so that it just feels right now like if I can strip down to like the, the bare minimum of what I need, which is to realize I Don't actually need physical possessions. I love, like, I'm an aesthetic girly. This is why I love your home. I love to create a home that feels grounding, but I'm realizing right now, oh, I don't actually need that in order to. To be whole and to be happy. I resonated so much when you talked about this in your book, just about joy of, like, actually allowing myself to experience joy. Because I know that if I can ground into joy and feeling abundant. And that's the other thing. The business has really suffered because my. The business relies on me so totally. I just wrote an email to my community this week that were about a hundred thousand dollars off plan for this year, which is. That's like. That's actually very detrimental to a business of my size.
- [39:07]
B
100.
- [39:08]
C
And yet I don't actually feel fear around it, which is an interesting.
- [39:13]
B
Beautiful.
- [39:13]
C
Right. You realize that abundance really is the embodiment. It's not the number that's in the bank account. So I'm just riding out this, like. It's like the gap right between. I'm not the previous version that I was. I'm still not like, the full embodiment of what I feel I'm expanding into. And for the first time in my life, I'm not trying to rush myself there. Did that even answer the question?
- [39:39]
B
It absolutely answered the question. It was, you are an old soul.
- [39:43]
C
You.
- [39:43]
B
This might be your last life. That was profound. Honestly, I. It was what we were talking about before we recorded, and I'll reflect to you again. When I was going through my death portal, I had just connected with a coach and. And I was desperate to, like, unload on her. I was in the backyard of my other home in Nashville smoking a cigarette. I don't even smoke. And I was like, okay. Hi, Lauren. Hi, I'm Jessica.
- [40:10]
A
I didn't even know.
- [40:11]
B
I'm like, here's what's going on with me. And I barfed on her for 20 minutes, like, straight up, like every little thing that was burning down in my life. And she took a big, long pause. I didn't even know she was still listening. I'm like, okay, I'm done. Are you still there?
- [40:23]
C
Did you hang up?
- [40:24]
B
Did you hang up? She took a beat. She just said back to me. She goes, I know this is going to sound really crazy, Jessica, but I'm really excited for you. And that's how I feel about you. That's what I feel for you. And it's just perfect where you. Where you are and Letting yourself not. It's so old world and paradigm and masculine to like, need to have the thing to do to fix it and the plan and to accelerate. It's. It's so feminine. Truly what you're doing is surrendering into the mystery and to the void and the unknown. And I often think of like the, the womb, right? Like the womb is pitch black. It's. It is a complete tomb. It's death and rebirth. And to give ourselves is why it is such a blessing as much as it is tragedy when we're in that much grief, it's a blessing through the pain because there is rebirth happening. And it's, it's nature. You have to move at the speed of nature. You can't force anything. And you intuitively are walking that, Lindsay, just based on what you shared. And it is literally like the nectar I'm trying to extract in this podcast for me to be able to share stories like, like yours. Like we were gonna, I was gonna ask you about marketing and launching community audience versus fuck. I'm like, I don't want to talk about that. Yeah, this is, this is where the, the gold lives for so many women to hear. And I just again want to thank you for your truth with a capital T. It's disruptive truth. It reorders the order of how things need to align. And for all three things like that to happen to you in one year was the universe reorganizing your life. And you know that. And I'm excited for you.
- [42:24]
C
I'm excited for me too.
- [42:26]
B
I want to ask you a few final thoughts, quick fire questions, as I often do. But before we get there, on that topic of Powerhouse, you just came off of a beautiful retreat in Austin that looked epic. Is there anything you want to share with my community and how they can jump in and join anything that you're planning?
- [42:44]
C
You know, the truth is, I think that the reason our hearts have always felt so aligned, even before we met in the physical, which today is that day, is because I think probably the hearts of our communities are so aligned. And so I would just say if you're a podcast listener, come, come hang out on the Powerhouse Women podcast. I am going to be talking a lot about all of this as I'm ready to. This is actually the first interview I've done since I really started to open up and share a little bit more of what was actually going on. I did, I did share with the community, even in the midst of it, that I was going through something and it was not quite ready to be shared yet. So thank you, first of all, for this space, this safe space to. To share. And if you resonate with the kind of conversations that we're having, you'll love the Powerhouse Women podcast. And from there, we always share about whatever is coming up next in terms of connecting in person. I know this is something you're really leaning into this year, too, is just the hunger to have conversations like this also in person. Yeah, it. It just changes. It's. It's the collective energy of all of us coming together to create a space that, you know, the spaces I create are. Are really with the intention to do two things. Number one, create a space where it's safe for us to be, all of us, the wildest, biggest, dreaming version. And that version of you will be celebrated and, you know, met with curiosity and resources and whatever we can do to support you. And also holding space for your vulnerability, just like we did here, because any one of us, anyone could look at either of our lives and see just the highlight reel and not understand the depth that we've walked through in order to get there.
- [44:26]
B
Yes.
- [44:27]
C
And if they don't know that part, they might miss the fact that someone listening right now might be in the middle of that death and rebirth for themselves, but they've never heard it phrase like that. They've never heard someone say to them, I'm excited for you, and I hold you and I honor you, and I. I see you in your pain, and I'm excited for you.
- [44:48]
A
Yeah.
- [44:48]
C
And so that's what someone could expect if they find their way over into my little world. But I'm just really so honored to be here with you.
- [44:57]
B
Oh, my God. The honor is mine.
- [45:00]
C
You're ours.
- [45:03]
B
You are a teacher. You're. You're a teacher on this planet. A guide for sure. And I'm so happy to get this dose of you in person. And I'm coming to one of your events, and you have. Immersing myself in this frequency right here. Because while this conversation was what it needed to be, you know, not necessarily what. I didn't even bring my questions up. I had, like, I'm literally holding nothing. It's a beautiful reflection of all that you are, and I think all you've always been, if that makes sense.
- [45:34]
C
Thank you.
- [45:35]
B
Yeah, thank you truly. All right, so I have some fun final quick fire questions I love to ask every guest because, you know, it's not just a show about hustling. It's a show about spirituality as well. So do you have a favorite spiritual book that you read besides mine. I'm just kidding.
- [45:54]
C
I mean, that is, like, at the very top. It's, like, even a drop down to anyone else's book. In this season, I've actually been really leaning into teachings of Kabbalah.
- [46:08]
B
Yes.
- [46:09]
C
Brand new to this chat.
- [46:11]
B
Amazing.
- [46:12]
C
I mean, it literally healed a lot of the resentment I was carrying around. The way my relationship ended helped me forgive, and that's. You know, that could be a whole other podcast. That's just a tiny nugget. But, yeah, it's been really interesting to me, having I was raised in the church and so finding more of my actual spirituality.
- [46:36]
A
Yeah.
- [46:36]
C
And allowing myself to. To just admit that I feel like I had evolved out of the religious context I was raised in a long time ago and just allowing myself to really lean into what my soul knows to be true. So right now, I'm just, like, really jamming with Kabbalah. I'm obsessed, and it's. It's like, truth that I'm remembering, you know, just those principles.
- [47:01]
B
Kabbalah is quantum codes. Yeah, quantum codes. Do you work with, like, you know, you mentioned grew up in the church, but do you. Do you have, like, an angel or a goddess or a deity or an ancestor, an archetype that you call on or work with?
- [47:17]
C
I'm still in my baby deer legs phase of, like, really understanding my. What this guidance is that I know has always been there, so I don't so much have a name or, like, a specific deity that I. That I replace it with, but I have this deep connection with a knowing that's just so much bigger than me. And I fully understand it probably is different guides who are guiding me, but for any. Anyone else who's just spiritually curious. Yeah, that's me. Join the club.
- [47:47]
B
This is probably like, this is inside baseball, like how we make the sausage at my company, but we have, like.
- [47:51]
A
Our audience avatars, you know, for all.
- [47:53]
B
Of our products and programs, and the spiritually curious is one, like, is a bucket.
- [47:57]
C
Hi. Hi.
- [47:58]
B
Nice to. I called you in. I wrote my book for you.
- [48:01]
C
I know. I was reading it, like, wow, this is so much more in depth that, like, I'm just starting to realize that, okay, this idea of God is way bigger than I ever thought it was. And I'm just so grateful for women like you who are going to the depths of understanding what is actually available to us in this human experience.
- [48:20]
B
Ditto, girl. All right, last question. You read my book, so this will have some context. But what does it mean to you to be a co creator of the.
- [48:30]
C
New Earth grounding into my authenticity and what I uniquely am here on the planet to bring forth. My. What I, what I've said actually for a while is my default setting is actually love.
- [48:46]
B
Ah.
- [48:47]
C
And I think you know, understanding just the frequency that that brings and again not downplaying it as that, that that actually is one of the biggest reasons. So it, it's cute how my blog was called love Lindsay, but really I have this deep capacity to love that it just almost. It just bursts out of me. And so understanding that that is. It's by design and that that frequency in itself is so healing and that I don't necessarily have to get angry about the, the things that others feel really called to be angry and get into movement around. I don't have to take on all of that.
- [49:26]
B
Yeah.
- [49:27]
C
I'm going to know the places and the spaces where my love is being deployed in order to heal. And that always felt like a little bit of spiritually bypassing like if I'm not getting all riled up about X, Y and Z that everyone else is. But I think even in those situations when, when a lot of anger is arising, what I feel in myself, it's like an energy that emanates so much bigger than me is like this capacity like a little Care Bear to actually like I, I spent some time even around the hurricanes, like really just. And again I'm brand new to this guys. I don't know how this works but like envisioning like the love that I even just as one person hold like dissipating the strength of the destruction and the rage, you know, I don't know if it worked. But also I think just each of us tuning into what is your unique gift and, and accepting that one of one of mine is really that capacity to love and hold that light and just, I don't know, I'm like trying it on. We'll see.
- [50:26]
B
Like I said, spoken like a true light worker. That is the co creation of the new Earth is love consciousness. That's the basic building block of the whole universe. Love. It's what we came here to remember. It's what we came here to experience, to share, to receive. And the fact that that is your answer, like you're already co creating it. This is what I am. I am so excited to be alive around that I'm on the planet at this time where we are walking with that fully flexed. And you, you do walk it. You walked it in such a huge way today on my show. Even in all of the darkness. There's so much light that resonates through you, Lindsay. And I'm so grateful you're here and that you came to Nashville and got to be with me and to share the truth of what's really authentic for you. It was such a gift today to my community, and I cannot thank you enough.
- [51:25]
C
Thank you so much for having me and for creating this safe space to really go there.
- [51:30]
B
Always, girl. This is just the beginning for us, Sa.