← The Spiritual Hustler
The Spiritual Hustler
Unlocking Accessibility: Why Other People’s Anxiety Doesn’t Need to Become Your Emergency
00:18:54
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Welcome to the Spiritual Hustler podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Zweig, multi seven figure serial entrepreneur, best selling author and branding and business coach. And this is a show where we are redefining the word hustle. Reclaiming our true feminine nature of magnetism and putting down the self judgments and shame around loving to work and making a lot of money at it. On this show, you're going to learn how to stop hustling and start spiritually hustling by pressing play. You are now now part of a new movement of women who don't hustle for money. We hustle for meaning. We don't hustle from lack. We hustle for love. We don't hustle from survival. We hustle for humanity's thriving. We hustle toward healing the ancestral programming of fear and step into a new understanding of safety in the body to receive this shift isn't going to only heal your life.
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It's going to make you a whole lot richer too.
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This is the Spiritual Hustler podcast.
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Well, hello my beautiful spiritual hustlers and welcome back to the podcast. I am your host, Jess. I am so grateful to be here with each and every one of you. I know there are many of you, but please know that I feel you. Specifically the woman who is listening right now. I just want you to know that's how I tune in to everything I create. Like when I write my books, when I create my Instagram captions and my reels, or I jump on stories, or I write an email out to all of my subscribers, you guys, it's really me. And I am tuning in specifically to one woman at a time. My heart to your heart, soul to soul. It really does come from this place within me. That is all for you and I really hope that you feel that. And I believe that if you've been here a minute on the Spiritual Hustler podcast movement train, the lit train, you know that you feel that. Welcome back. If you're new, welcome here. I'm super honored that you found me. I am really, truly, from the bottom of my heart, beyond grateful that you chose to listen to my when there's so many shows you could listen to. I do not take your presence for granted. And so if you're new or not new, you know, you might be new to knowing that this is the show where we talk about all things business. That's the Hustler in the podcast title, especially as a female boss building a business. And we talk about the spiritual. And every single Thursday, I drop a tiny little key in this unlocking series where I take a little key off my cosmic keychain. Cause I got a whole bunch of keys. They dangle, they make a lot of beautiful chimes and sound from like higher dimensional frequencies. At least this is how I see my keychain. It's inspired by the tattoo of the key that sits on my heart that I learned about many, many years ago. And this archetype of the priestess is really all about unlocking the divinity in the other that she is there to simply witness and reflect her own divinity. Her being the woman she's looking at, not her own. And that's really what I hope this series is doing for you guys. I'm getting a lot of beautiful feedback that you love this series. And it's such a gift to be able to come on every week and talk to you and really have these conversations around unlocking all the locks that have been keeping you stuck and small and safe and annoyed and overwhelmed and burnt out and hiding and exhausted and feeling like you have to be someone you're not or be someone to everyone or maybe be a past version of you. And so this series is here to really hand you the permission. And speaking of permission, you know, I'm really excited to talk about today's key. I just want to level set before I get into unlocking accessibility and why other people's anxiety is not your emergency. I really want to truly from my heart anchor us into the beauty of this time that we live in, where we are connected and accessible via social media and the digital world. You know, it really created something magical like proximity between leaders and their communities. We can talk to our true community directly. Today we couldn't do that before. The third wall has come down and you can reach out to anybody who's anybody today with the power of a DM or an InMail or a private message on Facebook or an email that you find on someone's website, like, there's something really beautiful about this moment. And some of the most beautiful moments in my career have come from the DMs, honestly, like, whether it's a woman sharing that my book helped her and she like lives across the world, or somebody coming back to me after they read my book and they're like, I finally launched my first business. And on the flip side, I remember when I was first starting my career as a female entrepreneur, if you've been in my world for a minute, you know that I'm a serial entrepreneur. I've run three businesses. My first business was a magazine Called Cheeky Chicago dot com. That business imploded and I left and I started my second business, Simply Be Agency, that I scaled to multi seven figures and exited. And then I started the business that I'm running now, which is me, Jessica Zweig Inc. And here we are. But back in the day, my Cheeky Chicago days, you guys. So this was like 2008 to 2014, when the whole Internet exploded of, like, female entrepreneurs. Like, I took Marie Forleo's B school, and I felt the gold of that program was just how much it opened up my mind to, like, this whole world of online female entrepreneurship. And I made so many connections and I followed so many of those women and I watched them grow and I got into all of their communities. It was amazing. It was such a multiplier effect on that level. And there was actually one woman that I saw kind of hit it. Like, she exploded. And her Instagram grew to like, hundreds of thousands of followers. She had a pretty quick rise, and I loved her content and I even signed up for some of her programs. And I remember I would like DM her. Like, she'd ask her question to her community and I would respond or I would leave her something, whatever, like an idea or a thought. I just remember feeling like I could communicate with her. And that woman responded to everything I ever sent her. She would leave me voice notes. They were so thoughtful. They were so genuinely interested in me. She was really forming and building relationships in her DMs. So she sort of took herself off of the public image and the projection of her grid and really was a real person on her account. And I remember feeling so moved by that, like, holy shit, this is what it's about. And I really, truly operate like that. I try my best to truly show up, but as we all know, accessibility without proper boundaries becomes emotional labor, and emotional labor becomes burnout. And we're not here to burn out. We're here to spiritually hustle in a new vibration where we thrive, not survive. And we often don't realize how many micro paper cuts of people pecking at our attention or throwing us curveballs or needing us in the moment because they're having their moment can ultimately destroy us. Okay, you guys, here's the truth that most female entrepreneurs never hear. Your nervous system is running your entire business, your entire life, not your mindset. So you can have all the vision and all the strategy, but if your body is carrying chronic stress, inflammation, or pain, everything is always going to feel harder than it needs to be. And. And this is where Microflow comes in. Now this brand, I swear by Microflow, it has changed my entire life. It's founded by root cause health expert Christy Nal. And Microflow creates the cleanest micro dosing supplement on the market. Okay. It's 100% organic, third party, lab tested, Reiki infused and intentionally formulated for women. Now, each blend is designed to support brain, heart coherence, your nervous system regulation and neuroplasticity, which helps you at the end of the day shift out of survival and into sustainable growth. And here is what's actually happening. Microflow helps quiet the default mode network in your brain. It's the autopilot in your mind, while activating neurogenesis so that you can build new pathways wired for creativity, clarity and resilience. This is why thousands and thousands of people who've used Microflow has said that it is the one thing that has drastically, clearly, evidently changed their life. And now Microflow has introduced a brand new blend that I am also obsessed with called Rapid Relief, which is the next evolution of holistic pain support. Now, Rapid Relief works with your body, not against it. It supports your innate healing intelligence so that discomfort can finally resolve at the root without harsh downstream effect. Think of this as like your new one stop shop, Midol, Advil, Tylenol, but better because it's formulated with Microflow magic, micro doses, regeneratively farmed CBD and ancient botanicals. I've used it every single week since I've got it. It helps calm inflammation, soften tension and restore the flow back into your body. Now, for female entrepreneurs navigating long days, nervous system overload or burnout recovery. You guys cannot not have Rapid Relief in your medicine cabinet. Start with the Exude and Surrender bundle and add Rapid Relief when your body needs extra support. And explore Theta for deeper somatic and ceremonial work. If you are ready to increase your capacity by upgrading the technology of your nervous system, then you've got to get down with Microflow. Get the whole bundle, get the whole stack. It will be the most life changing tool you could possibly ever, ever work with. Visit microflowhealing.com and use code JESSICA10 for $10 off of your order. That's microflowhealing.com and Use code JESSICA10 for ten dollars off of your order. And so today's episode is about bringing awareness to both sides of the coin. How we remain accessible. How important it is to actually be a real person and actually give a about the people who are invested in you and your message. While also knowing that you don't have enough energy and resources in a single day, let alone a single month, let alone a single year, to be everything for everyone. And where we get tripped up in splitting the difference is how we live in this hyper reactive digital culture. It is the ocean that we are swimming in as fish. We don't even see it. We feel it, but we might not see it. And unfortunately not everyone listening to this podcast, but most people who are living in the third dimension 3D reality are walking through life so overstimulated, so fucking anxious, so expecting instant responses, operating this constant sense of urgency. And what happens when we're not aware of this and we don't bring our own attention to our own boundaries and sovereignty is we start regulating to everyone else's nervous system instead of our own. There is a collective nervous system on this planet and it's hopped up on a ton of fear and anxiety and projection and self limiting beliefs and density in the body as much as the mind. And I am just here to shine light on that and that you do not have to participate in that. When you slow down, remember your queen, which I'm going to talk about, and draw your sacred lines, otherwise known as boundaries. But I use the term sacred lines and move from a totally different vibration. This podcast today is a permission slip to do that. So we've all gotten that anxious dm, right? Or the fucking hate this. The one the most like, hey, can you talk? Can you just talk really quickly? I love that when I get that popped up from like an employee, like, oh, they're quitting. Oh, the client wants out of the contract, right? We always feel this pressure to respond immediately. That's not your job to manage someone else's anxiety by meeting them in their own emergency. This is true leadership. This is true queen level CEO codes. And it's something that I honestly had to practice. It's a muscle that I have built over years and years. It is so easy to to jump into reactivity versus pausing and slowing down and remembering not in a righteous way, but in a true, self respecting, sovereign kind of way, that your availability, people's availability to you is a privilege, not an entitlement. I really, really want you to sit with that feel and see what comes up in your body. If you feel freaked out by that, if you feel turned off by that, if you feel embarrassed by that, or maybe you feel like, yeah, she's right, because someone's access to you doesn't mean they are entitled to immediate access to you. It's okay to be available and to have a heart of service and to be the woman that responds in the dms and make sure every single person on your team feels seen and every client feels held. But the constant accessibility and having no true strategy for how to reset your own nervous system when things get thrown at you that are not yours is going to capsize you in over delivering and under receiving. Space, clarity, joy, neutrality, peace. I could go on for yourself. Okay, so I want to break down these queen codes because this is from my leadership playbook to yours. Like this is what I practice in my own business. And it's hard. Okay? I'm not gonna lie. It's called a practice for a reason. Like you gotta show up to the gym every day, you've got to go to the yoga mat every morning like it is a practice. But one of the first tips that I'm gonna give you is just practicing not responding full stop. We all get that emotional charge where we want to like just quell the problem, make that person feel less crazy, make ourselves feel less crazy. And in order to soothe that situation, we feel a response is needed. It's not. An immediate response is almost always your nervous system on a hyperdrive in a reactive state. So the first step, when you get that anxious DM or you get that client in your inbox that's pissed off and wants the refund, or maybe your husband is driving home and having a meltdown because something, something happened at his day and he's dumping it on you. Just don't respond. That's it. That's huge. That first step is huge. And then I want you to step two, just take a breath, walk away, make an intention to respond a little later. Because here's really what I've learned. It's a cheat code as much as it is a queen code. When you respond in the moment, you are meeting that person in that energetic frequency. You just are. They're in it when they send you that message. So the more time that goes by, not only do you get to recalibrate, they get to recalibrate. So when you circle back, which I'm going to share with you, how to clarify your availability, they are not as activated either. And that is huge. That space of silence gives both parties the opportunity to come back to a little bit neutrality. You're the one that they're asking response from, right? They've kicked the ball over to you. And while we've all heard the term silence is a form of communication, we're not those women who are above anybody or don't have time for the little people or are too annoyed with our clients or our partner that we're just going to withdraw and let them figure it out. Nobody wants to do that. That's not healthy and that's not mature. What is mature is responding, clarifying your availability. When you've given people enough time and space to catch their breath, to clarify when you are available to speak, which doesn't have to be that day, you can say, I have time next week, I have time next month. I have time six months from now to have this conversation. I'm going to give you radical, radical permission to create this beautiful castle around you where you get to decide who walks into it and when. I recently had somebody desperate to actually come on this podcast and this was the time that I had in my year to get this person on, it didn't fit into their schedule. And the next time I'm doing guest interviews isn't until the fall. And this person did not like that and double checked with me multiple times that there was no space in between. And I was clear to know because of the way that I run my castle. And at the end of the day, this person had no choice but to accept that time and space on the calendar and their reaction, their anxiety, their emergency and urgency had nothing to do with me was none of my business. And I wasn't unkind, and I wasn't cold, and I wasn't too busy or elitist. I was just clear it's a frequency as much as it is a strategy. Now, speaking of strategy, I want to talk about the infrastructure that you might have or not have inside of your business. Because if you are a queen, and you are, because you're here and you're listening to this, we all know that queens don't hold everything by themselves. They have support, they have autoresponders, they have assistance, they have specific office hours that they do take their calls, they have wait lists, they have systems in place that automate where people can go before they get access directly to them. Leadership is not about martyrdom, sisters. It's about building systems and infrastructure and support that allows you to show up as the queen that you are in your overflow of time, energy, resources to then pour out into the people that you serve without ever losing enough for you. We have to be that full. And if we are giving people access to us every day, unconsciously or unconsciously, we are doing a massive disservice to the world that needs us to be lit up in our power. And most of all, in our joy. And if people are putting their fire alarms on you on a regular basis or even once in a while, it can derail us. And were allowed to say things like, I'm booked two months out or please contact my team or I will get back to you on this next week. This is about creating sustainability in your business and remembering that if people want to interpret that as you being too cold or far removed or rejecting them, or not having space and time for their needs over your own, again, none of your business. Here's what's happening in this collective of women that I see because we're also heart centered. We're stepping more and more into our truth, into our visibility, into our purpose, and on our way up into that ascension. One of the hardest lessons is learning that compassion does not mean constant availability. I felt so much compassion from that woman back on Instagram all those years ago. She taught me such a beautiful lesson of what it really, truly means to build a community. Not to build followers, but to build a community. And she gave me enough of her presence whenever she clearly had the time that it was potent and it didn't offend me if I happened to DM her one of those days. Which wasn't, by the way. It sounds like I was talking to her all the time. I wasn't. But in the moments that I did engage with her, if she didn't get back to me, she didn't see my message, it didn't offend me. I wasn't hurt. Nobody is meant to be constantly available. When you honor your own capacity, you actually become a better leader because your community starts to learn from you. You become the model of emotional regulation, of self responsibility, of patience, of peace, of being a fucking queen of your own world. And I personally think that we need more women setting that example. And so who are you not to be the one that sets that example? Other people's anxiety does not have to become your emergency. And hopefully after listening to this podcast, it never becomes your emergency again. Accessibility to you is a beautiful thing. Accessibility is one of my favorite things about being a female entrepreneur at this time. I can't even believe that I, like I could dm, I don't know, Mel Robbins. And she would potentially respond. I mean, it's so fudgeing incredible that we can do that. But sovereignty is so much more sacred. And if you are a queen, you know the difference. At least I hope you know the difference now. I hope that this served you today. I had such a burning, yearning desire to talk about this like I said it's a practice. I go to the gym, lift this weight every single day. And the more I lift it, honestly, the more love I feel for not only myself, because I'm stepping into a higher version of me, but the love I have for the people in my life because I give them an opportunity to meet themselves and meet me in a completely new vibration of respect and expansion for everyone involved. I love you all so much, and I will see you on the next episode of the Spiritual Hustler podcast. Bye, guys.