← The Spiritual Hustler
The Spiritual Hustler
Unlocking People Pleasing: How to Put Your Needs First Without Guilt and Anxiety
00:16:41
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- [00:02]
Jessica Zweig
Welcome to the Spiritual Hustler Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Zweig, multi seven figure serial entrepreneur, best selling author and branding and business coach. And this is a show where we are redefining the word hustle. Reclaiming our true feminine nature of magnetism and putting down the self judgments and shame around loving to work and making a lot of money at it.
- [00:26]
Unknown Co-Host
On this show, you're going to learn.
- [00:27]
Jessica Zweig
How to stop hustling and start spiritually hustling. By pressing play. You are now part of a new movement of women who don't hustle for money. We hustle for meaning. We don't hustle from lack. We hustle for love. We don't hustle from survival. We hustle for humanity's thriving. We hustle toward healing the ancestral programming of fear and step into a new understanding of safety in the body to.
- [00:53]
Unknown Co-Host
Receive this shift isn't going to only heal your life, it's going to make.
- [00:56]
Jessica Zweig
You a whole lot richer too. This is the Spiritual Hustler Podcast.
- [01:06]
Unknown Co-Host
Well, hello my beautiful spiritual hustlers and welcome back to another installment of the Unlocking series. Here on the podcast, each and every Thursday we talk about all the keys. The keys in my personal spiritual business, soul Pocket, that I am here to hand to you one key at a time so that you can continue to unlock your light, your power, your confidence, your truth, your joy, your peace, your abundance, your fulfillment. I could go on and on, which is why we unlock a new key every single week. So I'm so happy that you are here, that you are listening to this. I feel like this is a topic that we're going to unpack today that a lot of women struggle with. In fact, I know a lot of women struggle with this. This is a common question I get in my community. This is something I see as pretty pervasive amongst my social circle of friends. And I of course have been up against the pretty daunting shadow of people pleasing. And you see, when we people please, when we come from a place of putting our needs second, third, fourth, fifth, we on a micro level are in a constant state of disempowerment. And if you're listening to the Spiritual Hustler podcast, I know you've come here to remember your power, to know that you can be incredibly successful and incredibly grounded, that you can be massively impactful while also maintaining your integrity and your peace. You can be a rich while also being super connected to spirit and the universe. And when we are moving through life putting ourselves second, we are doing not only Our companies and our communities and our families, such a disservice, but the. The collective of women, a disservice. And you guys all know that here on the Spiritual Hustler podcast, we blend the business and the spiritual, all in service of the divine feminine frequency on this planet at this time. And this runs really, really deep, this tendency to people, please, because if we weren't quiet enough, if we weren't tempered enough, if we weren't subservient enough, we could potentially die. That is the patriarchal internalized conditioning that so many of us are walking around our lives with completely unconsciously. So this episode is here to shake us up, to wake us up, to remember just how it is our actual birthright and responsibility to be women in our own authority. That's the way this planet was always designed and defined. If you look back in pretty much every single culture, across every single continent, across the entire planet for eons and eons before the patriarchy was written, women were always at the top of the tribe. We were not interested in pleasing anybody. We were interested in doing God's work. We were interested in taking care of our communities and the systems, spiritual, familial, agriculturally, cosmically that we were anointed as women to lead. And at the end of the day, here we are in 2025 as modern day awake remembered women who still have the tendency for people to like us. Like, that's really at the core of people pleasing, isn't it? We just want everyone to like us, to ensure that we are liked and therefore loved. And if we are loved, we are safe. Right? It's. It's a complete nervous system dysregulation response when we are in a state of people pleasing. And so let's just break down the science of that quickly, right? We've all heard of fight, freeze as nervous system responses when we're dysregulated. But my favorite one of them all, in fact. But my most common tendency, and I believe many women that I know and love common tendency is that fourth F which was recently introduced in this nervous system fight, flight, freeze conversation, which is Fawn. I actually had a relationship, a very toxic, enmeshed relationship in my business a few years ago with somebody that worked for me that made me feel very, very unsafe psychologically and emotionally. But I was pretty unconscious of this. It was more of a feeling that was in my body that I was running over every single day because I worked really closely with this person and we had a lot of things to do every day. And that subconscious dynamic wasn't really conscious, it was subconscious. And over the course of a year, I fawned over this person, over complimented this person, made sure that they were taken care of in every single measure, that they knew how incredible I thought they were, were. I exalted this person, I promoted this person, I paid this person more, I fawned in every single capacity. So not only that this person would like me, slash love me, but would never leave me. And when that person eventually did leave my business, it was as if an entire veil was ripped over from my eyes. And I could see my own responsibility in the co creation of that dynamic. And once I got through the hurt and the anger, I really could only hold compassion for myself because it was just my little girl wanting to feel safe. And over the course of these last few years, as I've worked on healing my nervous system and stepping into my queen code, my queen sovereignty, CEO vibration, I am so clear that it is not my responsibility for anyone to like me or love me. My only responsibility is that I like and love myself and that I am my own primary caretaker in my own sense of safety, even in my own marriage and family system with my best friends. This is deep, deep work that I've had to do in therapy and coaching and self reflection and my spiritual practice of really learning how to take care of myself at my core level. And when we really realize that if we try to be likable to everyone, if we try to be everything to everyone because that's what ends up happening, we shapeshift and we mold and we lose our edges and we don't know where we begin and the other person ends and vice versa, we become, and I say this with love, we become kind of nothing to no one. And when we realize that we don't have to be everything to everyone, that we only have to be ourselves, that is our job, to be ourselves, to trust ourselves, to love ourselves, to know ourselves, we step into what's called magnetism, my friends. And magnetism is a quantum science as much as it is a divine feminine frequency, as much as it is a marketing tactic. Magnetism, in my view, is a quantum mechanic that attracts what it is onto itself. Like attracts like. And when you are fully embodied in your truth, two things happen. You magnetize those that are for you and align and get you and feel your frequency and want more of it. And you at the same time repel unlike frequencies, people, energy, opportunities that are not a match. And that is such a powerful, beautiful blessing. If we are not integrating not just our light, all the things that we love and know to be true about ourselves, but also our shadow. The things that we aren't fully healed inside of ourselves, things that we still have work left to do, a self awareness around the character flaws that we have. When we bring all of that together in our own consciousness, we become unstoppable. Because no one can call us out on what we don't know about ourselves already, good or bad. We become magnetic when we are fully conscious women. And fully conscious women don't operate from a place of people pleasing because we know our value, we know the currency of our time, of our gifts, of our magic is invaluable. And so I want you to take stock and it's, it's a beautiful and sometimes painful reflection and exercise to really name the relationships in your life where you are operating from a place of wanting that person to like you. This could be your friend circle, this could be your colleagues inside of your team. This could be a specific relationship that's, you know, maybe romantic, a partnership, a situationship, or maybe it's your entire online community. And I want you to journal on what is happening inside of your body when you think about, yes, that person. But two, in real, honest, unapologetic self awareness and reflection, what is happening inside of your system when you are interacting with that person? If I look back on that one particular relationship where I was constantly fawning, I always felt anxious, I always felt a little jumpy, I always felt unsettled. Something in my stomach never felt right. My heart would palpitate if I was heading into a difficult conversation with that person because I didn't want that person to leave me. I thought about that person a lot when I wasn't around them. Like a lot of my energy, mental energy, was going to that person outside the confines of my day to day work with them. And when I look back at that version of myself, had I slowed down enough to check in, to tune in, to take stock and say, this doesn't feel good, something is out of balance here, I probably would have made very different decisions, not just in the dynamic, but in my entire business. And this is your opportunity to really remember that not everyone is supposed to like you, love you, adore you. I have so many women that I coach and they're all at different site stages and spectrums of their businesses and their industries and their revenue with the exception of a very few amount of women that I work with. Some are like all in and they give no fucks what people think. Of them on social media and are stepping out fully in their dragon queendom, weird magic codes and genius and are like, look at me, here I am. And take it or leave it. Very few of us start there. Most of us are really terrified of what other people think of us and that prevents us from taking action because we're stuck inside of a people pleasing confine that isn't only impacting our interpersonal relationships, but is impacting our entire ability to step up, be seen and change the world. And the truth of the matter is double clicking into stepping out and being seen in the world for who you are and being terrified of it. Right, because every one of us of course knows that there's projections and opinions and misunderstandings about who we are in the world and what, what our intentions are. I certainly have that. I've been up against that my entire career. I've attracted my right tribe. Hi, it's you guys. Thanks for being here. It's the women that are part of my community on social media. It's the women that are part of my feminine frequency business school and my retreats. In my mastermind, I have really unlocked the truth that I don't need the world to love me and to get me, to support me and to buy from me. I just need my right people so I don't show up in a fawning capacity over anyone, least of all my community. I don't get frozen. I don't flee away from the opportunity and I certainly don't fight the opportunity to step up and be seen in the light. And that's really what I'm here on this podcast to encourage us all to do as new Earth feminine leaders. We have to be seen, we have to be known, we have to be revered for our power. And if we are staying quiet because we're afraid that people aren't going to like us, this planet isn't going to shift. And we don't shift the planet by being like Oprah Winfrey or Gandhi. Although respect, we shift the planet one person at a time, starting with ourselves, of course. But if you think about it, my my sweet sisters who are listening to this podcast, there are 8 billion people on this planet. About 50% of that are women. And I know many of you listening to my podcast are women business owners and women leaders who are also leading women. So that's 4 billion women on this planet that could potentially follow you, buy from you, be friends with you like you refer you, share your content. Right? 4 billion women and none of us are ever really going to tap into all of them. Unless we're like again, like Taylor Swift. But I don't think she's listening to this podcast. Maybe one day she will. But we're here to make a micro impact so that the macro collective starts to move. And when we really dial in and tune into our tiny little pebble that we get to drop in our unique pond, that creates this ripple effect. As a woman who is coming from a place of her own authority and trust, knowing that like attracts like and that she will draw in those that attune to the frequency that she holds within herself, because that is quantum science, the need to people please simply becomes a non factor. And so I hope that these codes today, this key today seeped through your consciousness and that you really, truly remember that what other people think of you is none of your business. Truly, it's not. And that at times you're going to disappoint people along the way of being the woman in her truth that you are becoming and trusting that as you rise, there are people who are going to rise with you and there are people who are going to fall away. And that is perfect. That is the natural law of evolution. And you don't have to fawn or freeze or fly away or fight anything on your way toward becoming more of the sovereign queen that you were always destined to be. It's our ancestral birthright. The sooner you remember that, the more impact, joy, abundance you will experience. And that is a promise. That is my promise to you. And I hope you take this key today and you unlock what is probably a very sticky lock and turn it and remember who the fuck you really are. And that ain't a people pleaser. All right, my beautiful spiritual hustlers, thank you so much for being with me here today, as always. And I will see you on the next episode of the Spiritual Hustler podcast.