← The Squeeze
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- [00:01]
A
The following podcast is a Dear Media production I would not wish infertility on anybody. I had waited a really, really long time to tell anybody. It's the first time pretty much in my whole life where I haven't shared something online and I haven't told my family ever. First time. I've just struggled by myself. And I think that's also partially why I felt so alone. And I really, really recommend to anyone who's going through it, please don't do what I did. Like, do not do that. I know it seems so scary to tell people. It feels so deeply personal and like so vul. Like obviously, clearly I still cry every time I talk about it. But tell somebody so they know what's going on. Because yeah, it was definitely hard. You're like, I don't need to tell them because I'm gonna get pregnant next month. I don't need to tell them because it's not that big of a deal. It's only month six. It's not infertility. It's just seven months of negative tests. That's what you tell yourself, but that is actually something to one be sad about to tell people about so you can get support. I just didn't know I didn't have anyone to talk to that stuff. I had to figure it out on my own.
- [01:00]
B
Foreign. Drops welcome back to the Squeeze. I am so excited for you guys to finally hear part two of my episode with Brooklyn and Bailey. In part one, we really dove into Brooklyn's pregnancy, her journey with that with postpartum, and the girl's background in social social media. But in this episode we are diving into everything that Bailey has been dealing with recently. In this episode, Bailey bravely opens up about navigating infertility while her identical twin sister got pregnant easily, sharing how lonely the journey has felt and how it caught her completely off guard. She talks about how infertility has affected her relationship with her husband, including getting to a point where they had to choose to start having fun again instead of having sex. Feel like a choreography. She shares the hardest part mentally and what made her decide to share her story online. Bailey also gets candid about what this season has been like within her relationship with Brooklyn, reflecting on the fact that they've done everything together their whole lives and this is the first time they truly can't relate to one another and what effects it's had on their relationship. I am so honored that Bailey felt safe enough to open up with me and you Lemon Drops about her story. This episode is a bit Emotional. So for those who are dealing with pregnancy loss or infertility, little trigger warning there, but it is really so inspiring, and I am so proud to know Bailey. Brooklyn and Bailey's bond is something that I've never seen before, and it's so special to see how they interact together in this special episode. Bailey.
- [02:44]
A
Oh, yay. Your turn.
- [02:47]
B
You. You've been really open on the Internet about your infertility journey. And first of all, I want to thank you for doing that, because I can't imagine how hard that is. And I think it's really important for women to share about their journey with that, because I think a lot of women suffer in silence because they don't want to share, and there's a lot of shame and guilt, and I'm sure we'll get into all of those feelings. But can you share a little bit about your journey, your process, where you started and where you're at today?
- [03:21]
A
Yeah, of course. Yeah. So you guys, obviously, you heard Brooklyn's story of quick and easy and perfect, and I love that for her. I literally hold no bitterness at all towards that. I would not wish infertility on anybody, because going through it has literally, quite literally been one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. And there was, like, 100% trance. I will cry during this podcast. We got issues still, so we're prepared. We're new, but, yeah, it's been quite an interesting journey. My husband and I knew when we got married, we got married really young at 21, that we wanted to wait a while for kids. So we waited four and a half years, I think. I'm trying to remember where we're at now. Four years or maybe three and a half. Four years, because you're going on five. Yes. So we started basically a year ago. Well, more than a year ago now, but a year ago. And I was never really sure if kids was, like, something I was a hundred percent on, because I never felt that call towards babies. I never had, like, that. That. What do they call it? Baby fever. Yeah, I never had that. I watched her, and she always had baby fever. Like, I knew she was going to be a mom, but I wasn't sure. It was in my cards. And then one day I. I woke up. It was Easter weekend, and I woke up, and I turned to my husband. I'm bawling my eyes out, and I'm like, I don't know why, but I just feel like it's time, like, something changed literally overnight. When people say it's not overnight. I'm like, it literally is. Because it was overnight for me. It was. I just all of a sudden knew I wanted to try for a baby. I felt like it was time. I feel like part of that was probably I had had Archer. Had had Archer, and so she got to see. Yes. Like, in real life. Almost what her own life would look like. Yeah. It was like a mirror of what I could have.
- [05:08]
B
Yeah.
- [05:08]
A
And I was so, like, taken aback by how much. How amazing it was.
- [05:16]
B
Yeah.
- [05:16]
A
Anyway, I woke up overnight and was like, it's time to try. And he was really shocked because we literally talked about waiting for five years, all this stuff. And so he was right on board with me. He's always on board with me. He's like, the best thing about my husband. He's like, sure, okay, whatever. So he was, like, totally down. And so we started trying, and I totally went into it with the expectation that I would get pregnant right away because I have an identical twin sister who literally, biologically is identical to me. And so I thought, there's literally no reason why I should struggle. We have a long line of lineage, and we're very blessed to have this. Of women who've never struggled to get pregnant. Literally, when I talk about great grandmas, like, nothing. Aunts, aunts, siblings, nothing. And so I just totally had this full expectation that it would be totally fine. Um, never had any issues with my cycles or any preconception that there would be issues.
- [06:07]
B
Yeah.
- [06:08]
A
Um, and then, obviously, we started trying. Month one got a negative test. Month two got a negative test. Month three got a negative test. And it was about month three when I started thinking, oh, like, yeah, but they say it can take a while. And I started doing my own research behind it and realizing the statistics of how long it can actually take people to get pregnant and whatnot. So she was literally, like, every month, she'd be like, well, now I have a 40. Now I'm in the 40 chance. Like, no, I'm in the.
- [06:37]
B
Yeah.
- [06:37]
A
Like, she has, like, the stat increases. Yeah. She's like, it's okay. We're still. We're still in the 30. We're still in the 34. Like, we're still in the 20. Okay. 15 of people get pregnant their first month, and then 25% of people get pregnant the second month and just keeps going up.
- [06:50]
B
Yeah.
- [06:51]
A
And so I was doing the statistics of the percentage of people who aren't pregnant by that point. Anyway, it's a whole mental game, a whole mental battle. And the people who've been through it will understand how you start to like, figure out, oh, my chances of being in that percentage of people who still aren't pregnant at this point, it's like, oh no, it's for sure this month because 95% of people are pregnant by this month and then you're not. And it's all of a sudden like, oh crap. So yeah, it was probably month three that I realized I think something might be funky, but it can take a while. And by month six was when I came to the full realization of like, this maybe isn't going to be easy for us. And I feel like it's one thing that I tried to share on our page a little bit is the in between. Because when you talk to doctors or you look it up online or anything like that, it literally says it's not even considered infertility until you hit a year mark of trying if you and your partner are healthy. But I think that window of time is a little bit under. I don't know what the word is. Like, under talked about. Yeah, it's like not spoken about. Because you either hear people who get pregnant right away or you hear people who have struggled with infertility for three to 10 years. Well, it's because when you're like posting a pregnancy and I was like, and it took us six months to get, you know, like, nobody talks. Nine months, nine tries later. Like, no one says that. So it's like it's either oh my gosh, haha, we were barely trying, or oh my gosh, it's an IVF baby. You know, like there's really no in between. And so for me, I felt extremely alone. I've never felt more alone in my life. And now I'm gonna cry. I've never felt more alone before and it was really scary. Sorry. That's okay. Isolating feeling because I have a twin sister and I've never been alone before and I couldn't share it with her. It was something that she couldn't really understand. You know, I knew for, for clarification, I knew about it, but just there was not like I could, I didn't understand. Yeah, no relatability, like I can try, but having not experienced it myself.
- [09:05]
B
Yeah.
- [09:06]
A
So it was a really interesting period of my life where I didn't know anyone who had struggled. My sister couldn't really understand. She had a beautiful baby. And I was just trying to figure out how to navigate all those feelings of disappointment every month and figuring out how to like, navigate that for myself. And with my husband who's also feeling the disappointment, you know, right along with me. So it was a really interesting and really unfortunately, very sad time. But it was probably about 9, 10, 11, month 11, that I decided I was like, okay, it's time to go, like, to the doctor and get some blood work and stuff done. I also told my parents at month, I think, 10. So I had waited a really, really long time to tell anybody. I think I told Brooklyn and maybe one other friend who I knew had struggled to get pregnant. So I was very much, like, very quiet about it. It's the first time pretty much in my whole life where I haven't shared something online and I haven't told my family ever. Like, first time, I've just struggled by myself. And I think that's also partially why I felt so alone. And I really, really recommend to anyone who's going through it, please don't do what I did. Like, do not do that. I know it seems so scary to tell people. It feels so deeply personal and, like, so vulnerable. Like, obviously, clearly, I still cry every time I talk about it, but I would encourage get, like, tell somebody so they know what's going on. Because, yeah, it was definitely hard. I think part of the reason you didn't tell a lot of people was because you had it in your head you want to do this, like, big, like, pregnancy review. Like, nobody even knew you were really trying. Well, that's not only it. That may have been the case for month one through three. But then once you get to, like, it's you just getting here, like, well, I don't need to tell them because I'm gonna get pregnant next month. You're like, I don't need to tell them because I'm gonna get pregnant next month. Like, also, I don't need to tell them because it's not that big of a deal. It's only month six. Like, it's only month seven. It's not infertility. It's just seven months of negative tests. Like, that's what you tell yourself. But that is actually something to one be sad about, to tell people about so you can get support and all that stuff. And I just didn't know. I didn't have anyone to talk to, and I. I didn't really know that stuff. I had to figure it out on my own. But. But tell them about what month you decided to go to the doctor. Yeah, it was month 11, so almost a year. We went into the doctor and did blood work, and that's when I found out my AMH Levels were low, which is my egg reserve. So I don't have as many eggs as the average woman. So that means that, like, I'd have a shorter window of time to get pregnant. So that also just added a whole other level of urgency behind why I wanted to get pregnant and still couldn't. So, yeah, after lots of blood work and doctor's visits, they really couldn't conclude what was wrong with. At least with me and my husband, his. His results were coming back kind of borderline. So ultimately, we went to a couple doctors who decided to do a surgery for Asa, my husband, to hopefully improve quality of his. I don't know if I can say sperm quality of his sperm. And now that's the step that we're on right now, but we're definitely past a year, so it's definitely now. Solidly early window of infertility. And, yeah, I think it's quite an interesting predicament. Two identical twin sisters, one who got pregnant within two weeks and one who's on month. I don't even know what anymore of negative tests. Um, so, yeah, when Bailey got her AMH levels tested, she was like. She called me and she was like, I need you to go get your AMH levels tested because I need to know if this is the reason that I'm not pregnant. Like, I need to know if this is.
- [12:45]
B
Yeah.
- [12:46]
A
Something, because, like, you obviously got pregnant. So, like, what if you have a lot of eggs? Like, what if you took all my eggs? Like, I don't know. You know, like, we were twins. So I went in and got my MH levels tested in. Mine also happened to be lower than Bailey's. Like, even lower than Bailey's. So that was. It was kind of like deductive reasoning. That's how we knew that wasn't the reason that she wasn't getting pregnant, because I clearly have lower image levels than her and was able to get pregnant. So that's sort of how they narrowed it down, I think, onto this, like, one aspect of Asa that they're hopefully gonna be able to fix with surgery. Yeah.
- [13:15]
B
So, yeah, first of all, thank you for sharing that.
- [13:19]
A
Oh, yeah. Now I feel like I. I'm, like, a lot better about it, but, yeah. Yeah.
- [13:24]
B
I mean, no, I can't. I can't imagine having to walk through that. And I'm really thankful that you're sharing that, because, I mean, even me, I wasn't. I wasn't trying to get pregnant. But also, I have been. I had been off of birth control for, yeah, like, six, eight months. Before I got pregnant. And like, I, you know, that may be something that I hope that I maybe deal with one day too because, you know, you just. I did get pregnant out of nowhere, but like, I wasn't like, okay, let me try. And I think a lot of women can obviously relate to you because it's just, it's a part of being a woman, unfortunately. And I think it's really important for people that have, like, are walking through it to share it because I think that's the biggest thing is we need support and it is so isolating and so many aspects of being a woman, especially when it comes to the beginnings of motherhood before that, it's a really, it's just an interesting journey that we don't talk about. And I love that you brought that up about the whole the year thing because. Yeah, what is like, you know, what is the point? You end up getting pregnant six months later. Like you're pregnant. So why, like it still took you like six, eight, nine months, but you're pregnant, so why would you even bring it up? So I love that you shared that because that's definitely something I, I've never viewed it that way or thought about it because the only time we do hear about it is like when it's your story. It's like, yeah, my girlfriend was the first time they tried and they got pregnant.
- [14:54]
A
Right.
- [14:56]
B
So that's really the only time we hear. But that's a really good perspective on it. Fourth of July is one of those times where I feel like the food genuinely makes or breaks the whole thing. Everyone is together, it's a big deal. And if the burgers are just okay, everyone kind of notices. That's honestly what has made me so much more intentional about where I'm getting my meat from. And Butcherbox has been such a game changer for that. They deliver over 100 premium protein options straight to your door. From grass fed beef to wild caught seafood. And it's all raised in source the right way. No antibiotics, no added hormones, no fillers. Just clean, reliable protein that you actually feel good serving to the people you care about. I got a box recently and we did burgers and chicken for a little get together. And people were asking where I got the meat from because they could genuinely tell the difference. As an exclusive offer, new listeners can get their choice between free ribeyes for a year or ground beef or chicken breasts for life. Plus 20 off when you go to butcherbox.com squeeze. That's right, your choice of ribeyes for a year or ground beef or chicken breasts for life. Plus $20 off your first box and free shipping always. That's butcherbox.com squeeze don't forget to use our link so they know that this episode is sponsored by zocdoc. Raise your hand if you have ever had a doctor's appointment on your mental to do list for an embarrassingly long amount of time. Because I feel like this is one of the things that everyone does and nobody really talks about. It's not that I don't want to go, it's the actual process of booking the appointment is somehow the most annoying thing in the world. You have to call during specific hours, you get put on hold, you do the phone tag thing, and then finally when you actually get someone to tell you their next available appointment, it isn't for three months. That's exactly why I'm so glad Sockdoc exists. Zocdoc lets you search and compare local and network doctors so you can actually see who's available, who takes your insurance, and what real patients have said about them all in one place. They have more than 150,000 providers across 200 specialties in all 50 states, so no matter where you are or what you need, you can actually find someone. And then you just click to book. No phone calls, no hold music, no waiting to find out when their next opening is. In four months, appointments through Zocdoc happen fast, usually within 24 to 72 hours, and you can even score same day appointments sometimes. And it's completely free to use. Your health shouldn't have to wait just because booking feels like a hassle. Your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Find and book the right doctor with Zocdoc. Head to Zocdoc.com squeeze to get started and check that appointment off your to do list. That's Z o c d o c.com Squeeze this episode is brought to you by Opill, the first over the counter daily birth control pill available in the us. Did you know that about a third of women face barriers to accessing prescription birth control? Whether it's the struggle of getting an appointment for a prescription, taking time off of work or school, lack of insurance, and not to mention carrying the mental load of it all, women have been facing these barriers head on and I feel like if you've ever dealt with any of this or or watched a friend navigate it, you know how real and exhausting those obstacles can be. The access piece has been such a conversation for so long and honestly, it's something I care a lot about. But now we can all take a breath because with Opill, for the first time in US history, no permission is required to access a daily birth control pill. And I just have to say that this is such a big deal. Like the fact that this is a first in US history says so much and I think it's something worth genuinely celebrating. Especially for anyone who has ever felt like managing their own reproductive health was more complicated than it needed to be. Opill is a daily birth control that's FDA approved, full prescription strength and estrogen free. It is 98% effective when used as directed, making it the most effective over the counter birth control available. You can find Opill at most major retailers or online, which means you can add it right away to your regular shopping list, which without an appointment, without a prescription, without any extra hoops. Opill is birth control and your control. And you can use code SQUEEZE for 25 off your first month of OPILL@OPILL.com that's SQUEEZE@O P I L L.com. check out OPILL to see if it's right for you. How has it been mentally? I know this is literally going to be a loaded question. How's it been mentally? I want to know on yourself but also on your relationship.
- [19:44]
A
Oh yeah.
- [19:45]
B
Because I know a lot of couples that have struggled with infertility. It really can mess with. And also you can answer this how. Yeah, surface level or whatever you want. But I know a lot of couples deal with like their intimacy. Like it affects it. Cuz it's like I'm only having sex during this ovulation time. Yeah. And it's literally just like a chore and it's not something that is actually like fruitful in a marriage. Can you just share a little bit about that?
- [20:14]
A
Yeah. First of all, me and Brooklyn share literally everything so I am not scared to talk about sex or anything else for that matter. But yeah, it, it's a hundred percent true. Like what you think would happen is exactly what happens. It starts to feel so much like a chore and I, I say said this on our platform and I'll say it here, it doesn't matter how healthy of a marriage you have because I, I feel like, like not to brag but I feel like we have a really, really healthy marriage and it, it just is so hard because it is so hard when you want something so bad. I'm also a type A person so when I see a problem I want to fix it. And the only way to fix not Having a baby is to have sex. When you ovulate, that is literally the only thing that you can do besides going to the doctor. So it is really hard not to schedule and make it like a planned event and a very like chore based thing and lose all the fun and the love in it. And we definitely got to that point. I don't even know what month that happened, probably further in the journey, but it definitely got to that point. And we eventually, I eventually sat him down and was just like, look, I think we just need to have fun again. We just need to not stress about it and have fun. What will happen will happen. And after having that conversation, we just kind of took our foot off the gas pedal. And that helped a lot. But it does kind of require realization of what is happening and that it's feeling like a chore. I mean, it literally becomes work. Like, you're like, okay, I ovulated and now let's, let's go. Have you seen the movie? What's. What to expect when expecting. It's like when the, the timer, when the timer goes off on her phone and she's like, I'm ovulating. And he's like, okay. And they go in like back at the. You know, it's like clockwork. But especially if you're a person that also we're really open. So just like a heads up on all the things I'm going to say. But like, if you're a person that loves sex or like really loves to have fun while having sex, it is hard because it does become so much of just like a methodical thing instead of a fun thing between you and your partner. So that was definitely something we struggled with. And I remember you calling me and being like, like, I hate it. She's like this, like so bad. So bad.
- [22:29]
B
This is horrible.
- [22:32]
A
Yeah, definitely.
- [22:33]
B
I mean, that's so true. And I think that's something that also isn't talked about. Yeah, again too, because we are so private with our sex lives, which I think there is a good boundary to have. But when it comes to that, like, I'm sure, you know, first couple months it's like, ooh, yay, I'm ovulating, let's go. And then by month six, you're like,
- [22:51]
A
well, let's like, you're like, okay, let's go. Like, the mood just changes every time. Yeah, yeah, it's gotten a lot better now. But I also think it does become that way, sadly, because your expectations of it succeeding when you're trying so hard are so low. Like after a couple of months you do the methodical chore based version. And when you get so many negatives, you're like, okay, let's, let's just go back to having fun because this is obviously not working. So that's kind of the phase we're in right now where we're just back to having fun again.
- [23:24]
B
Yeah.
- [23:25]
A
Hoping for the best.
- [23:26]
B
What do you think has been the hardest part for you? And this mentally of either like uncertainty, comparing your journey, like just the loss of control. Is there something you can name that you think has been one of the harder things for you?
- [23:42]
A
Oh, gosh, I can. I know I would say that from what you tell me, it seems like the hardest part is not having a really a solid answer. Yeah. Like the uncertainty of the unknown, whether something's going to work or not, whether that's a hundred percent the answer, whether that's the answer in the future. Is this gonna happen again? Like just the so many question marks. If you could tell me right now, oh, you have to go through this horrendously awful emotional experience, but 10 months in, you'll have a baby. Oh, I'd be churning through that like nobody's problem. I'd be like, okay, yeah, totally fine. I can do it. The difficult part is when you're a year or so or even longer than that into it, not knowing how much longer you're gonna have to do this or if it will ever end, if you'll ever get to be pregnant or get to have a baby. It's a weird feeling of like wondering. You sit there looking at someone who's pregnant or looking at someone who has a baby and you're wondering, well, I ever experience that, will I get to know what it feels like to be pregnant or you know, all those things because obviously adoption is a thing so you can have a baby, but it's more like, will I ever feel what it feels like to grow a baby in my womb? Like that kind of those kinds of questions of being able to get pregnant myself.
- [25:00]
B
Yeah.
- [25:00]
A
Kind of an interesting thought process and the unknown of it all, especially as a type A person who likes to have the answers. It's really hard.
- [25:08]
B
Yeah. How. How was your. You deciding to open up about it online and the response from it.
- [25:19]
A
It's kind of an interesting story on that one. I didn't necessarily decide fully that I was ready to share. Like when I shared it, I wasn't 100 ready to share it, but it needed to be said, if that makes sense.
- [25:34]
B
Yeah.
- [25:35]
A
Because she had a baby. Yeah, I was like, she obviously had a baby. And we were not open about trying online at all. So no one knew that we were struggling at all. And so we started to frequently get comments about me secretly being pregnant or body shaming comments about me looking pregnant or things like that. Often it was every day, all day long. And then things like, I don't know if you saw on TikTok, there was the secret lemon who was secretly pregnant. And if for anyone that doesn't know that was a lemon, that was a creator who didn't want to, you know, announce that they were pregnant yet, and so they were using a filter to talk about their pregnancy anyway, there was a lot of gossip about who that might have been. And I was their number one guest. So there were a lot of TikToks going around about me being secretly pregnant, me having a baby. I was getting DMs of people congratulating me on my pregnancy and my baby. And it was all while I was almost a year into infertility and I remember, like, just absolutely breaking down to my husband. I was like, it's one thing to go through this. It is another thing to have people I don't even know projecting a life you want so badly. I guess, like, they want it so bad and I can't even blame them because I want it so bad, you know, like, they want it for me, I want it for me. But it got to the point where I know that these are kind people who don't understand the harm that they're doing because I haven't shared it, you know, and so after a couple of those kind of blew up, I decided to share because I was honestly needed them to know so they could start being a little more sensitive about the subject. I think it's kind of why I started talking about it. And then because I knew I was going to be open about it, then my intention was to hopefully share and help people. Like, if I had to be so alone and sad, at least let this help somebody else not be so alone and sad during the whole thing.
- [27:31]
B
Yeah.
- [27:31]
A
And it has really. I've gotten so many kind messages and that's been making it all worth it. If I have to go through this at let. At least let it be for something like, you know, at least let it be that I'm talking about it so publicly and so openly that it can help someone else figure out their journey or like not feel so alone. It's kind of how I felt.
- [27:49]
B
Yeah. As someone who's Very much in their busy pregnancy mom to be era Right now I feel like self care has really taken a whole new meaning for me lately. Like I still want to care for my skin and I still want to feel like myself and feel good. But the idea of spending an entire day at a spa is just not realistic anymore. What I actually need is something effective that fits into real life. And that's exactly what Face Foundry is. Face Foundry is the largest women owned facial bar in the world with 80 locations open and growing to 100 by the end of the year. They offer efficient, effective and affordable facials, lash lifts and brow services, all done in under an hour at a price that honestly won't make you spiral. What I love most about the concept is that it's more than just a service. It's genuinely one hour to reset, one hour to pause everything, focus on yourself and walk out feeling like a new person. And because they're open evenings and weekends, it actually fits into a real schedule, not just an ideal one. They have targeted results driven services built around your specific skin goals. So whether you're into hydrafacials, dermaplaning, cryo or facial cupping, there's something for exactly what your skin needs right now. And they even have memberships. Your choice of one focus facial, one enhancement and 10 off additional services and products every month. Month. Who knew monthly facials could actually be a monthly thing? Because at this price point they genuinely can be. The Squeeze listeners get 20% off their first service. Visit face foundry.com that's F A C E F O U N d r I e.com and use code squeeze at checkout. There's something about the back to school season that I feel like parents don't talk enough about, which is that it's honestly, honestly a little bit of a relief. Summer is wonderful and chaotic and fun, but by the end of it, this quiet part of every parent's brain that is very much ready for a little more structure and a little more routine. And I say this with full love for summer. But also routines are good, schedules are good, knowing what time bedtime is again is very good. And it's the most wonderful time of the year at Staples. Because back to school season isn't just for kids, it's a reset for parents too. And staples just makes that reset feel so much easier. One of the things I love is that you can shop directly from your kids teachers list, so there's zero guesswork, no wandering around trying to figure out if you're getting the right thing. No wait, does this count as wide ruled? You just pull the list out and go. And supplies start at just 25 cents so you can get everything without feeling like you need to brace yourself at checkout. Plus there's deals on laptops and tech too, which is huge if your kid is at the age where they need a device for school. I also think it's fun that there is so much personality filled supplies with character favorites like Bluey, hello Kitty and Spider man because it genuinely gets kids excited about the new year, which in turn makes the whole transition a little easier for everyone. And for parents who are doing this last minute, Staples has 30 minute pickups so you can order online and be in and out fast. They're stocked all season long too, because back to school never actually happens in just one trip and everyone knows it. If only everything in parenting had an easy button. But this one thing kind of does. To shop the most wonderful deals for school, check out staples.com thesqueeze There are certain moments in life where everything just shifts, where your priorities become really clear really fast. And especially being pregnant. Now I'm stepping into this new season of life. I've been thinking so much more about family, what it means to show up for people you love, and how important it is to just be be there for them. Especially when things feel uncertain or overwhelming. I think we all like to believe that if something hard ever happens, we'll be able to handle it. But the reality is some situations are bigger than anything you could prepare for. And that's why learning about Ronald McDonald House really stayed with me. Ronald McDonald House supports families with children who are ill or injured around the world. The organization provides accommodations, essential resources, and a community of support, all at no cost, so families can be at the heart of their child's care. It's not just about having a place to stay. It's about removing barriers during one of the hardest moments a family could go through. It's about making sure parents don't have to choose between being close to their child and everything else they're navigating. And something that really stood out to me is the reality of how many families actually need that support. Today, Ronald McDonald House is only able to support about one third of the families around the world who who needed services. And that need is expected to grow. This gap inspired an ambitious goal to double the number of families served by 2030. When I heard that, it honestly stopped me for a second because that means there are so many families out there who need this kind of support. And Just don't have access to it yet. And that's why this mission feels so important right now. Ronald McDonald House is announcing the McBride family as its first global spokes family to shine a light on a family who has stayed in the urgent need to support more families around the world. Their story is something that really puts everything into perspective. After a car accident led to multiple hospital stays, surgeries, and the premature birth of their daughter Juliana, the McBrides turned to Ronald McDonald House and discovered far more than a bed to sleep in. They found holistic support, community and resources when their family needed it most. It's not just about a single moment of support. It's about everything that comes with it. It's about giving families the ability to stay close, to feel supported, and to not have to go through something like that alone. And when you hear stories like that, it makes you realize how much of a difference something like this can make. Not just practically, but emotionally, too. So when we talk about this goal, doubling the number of families served by 2030, it's not just a number. It's real families, real moments, real support that changes everything about how someone experiences the hardest of times in their life. With a goal to double the number of families served by 2030, Ronald McDonald House needs your support. Please donate today at Ronald McDonaldHouse.org donate mcbridefamily to help more families stay. I just think it's so cool like this. My pregnancy journey has been the most messages I've ever gotten literally in my life. And I feel like I'll just share the littlest snippet of, like, I opened up a couple months back when I first started talking about my pregnancy. Just how I, like, really didn't like my body.
- [34:35]
A
Yeah.
- [34:36]
B
And I don't think a lot of people talk about that enough. And I have never gotten so many messages before. And it was something that I was kind of iffy about sharing because of course Internet's gonna be like, you're so ungrateful that you're pregnant, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. And I was just like, you know what? Like, this is how I'm feeling. And I know I'm not the only person that's feeling this way. And the amount of messages of women feeling the same way, it's just there's. There's so many of us going through the same thing, but we don't share.
- [35:08]
A
Yeah.
- [35:08]
B
And it's really special, I think, being able to share what you're going through and to be able to connect with people that actually care about you and are Going through the same thing.
- [35:17]
A
Absolutely.
- [35:18]
B
It's really. It really just makes you feel not alone.
- [35:23]
A
Yeah, it's so cliche, but, no, it's validating. It's actually true. And that's why I like. Like, that's why I like sharing everything in general about our lives. Because you just be. I mean, honestly, humans have so, so few original experiences. Like, we're all low key, experiencing some if not most of the same things. Feelings and things. We just don't say it out loud. So. So when I. When I decided to share, I was like, okay, I really hope that this gets received well, and I hope that people see and resonate with it, you know, and it helps them a little bit. I feel like when you decided you were going to post about your fertility, it was like a flip switch because it was like she decided and she had it posted within, like, two hours. I couldn't chicken out. I was gonna chicken out. I was like, are you sure? Like, do you want to think about it? Like, do we want to sit on it right now? Do we want to, like, plan. Plan out, like, what day we're gonna post it on? Then you could be prepared. She was like, no, I'm posting it right now. I was like, yeah, I knew. I was like, it's so sensitive, and I was so anxious to post it. It was like the most anxious I've ever been to post something in my entire life because it was so sensitive. And, you know, when you put something on the Internet, it can go places you didn't intend for it to go. And you never know the responses you're gonna get. It could be really ugly or it could be really positive. And it being such a sensitive subject, I knew I was, like, not emotionally 100% ready for all of that. So when I decided, I was like, okay, I just have to do it. Just pushed post and like, that was it, the end. Just let it go where it went.
- [36:52]
B
Yeah, I love that. I want to know the biggest thing between the two of you, because obviously being literally almost one human, like, you guys are so similar and you literally do everything together. What's been. What's been the hardest part of it for both of you? I mean, do you wanna.
- [37:16]
A
Well, I would say because it really, like, the. The motherhood thing isn't like a struggle. That's like an awesome thing I get to share with Bailey. It's harder watching her struggle with something that, like, was almost something I took for granted. Like, I, like, it just, like, didn't even. I, you know, I. I Wanted to be pregnant, and I got pregnant, you know? Like, so it's been really hard watching her, like, struggle and not literally not being able to do anything. Like. Like, Bailey always said that when she watched me give birth, she was like, I felt so useless. That's kind of how I feel. I just feel so useless. Like, I'm like, I'll come to your doctor's appointment with you. Like, if I had. When I got my image tested, and I was like, if I have more eggs, I'll give them to you. Like, I'll go do. I'll do IVF for you. Because she hates needles. I was like, I'll do ivf. You're like, I'll collect my eggs and you can have them. Because genetically, this. We're the same, so it works. It'd be the same egg. So I was like, I'll do it for you. Like, anything, because I can't. Like, I cannot have a. I even offered. I was like, if you really can't have a baby, like, I'll have a baby for. To just, like, especially because I know how special that relationship is. Like, being a mother, I know how amazing that is. And, like, oh, I want that for her so bad. I want that for you so bad. And it's just like, I can't do anything to make that happen any faster. Yeah. I think a lot of people expect me to say the hardest part is seeing my identical twin sister living the life that I want, But I genuinely mean it from the bottom of my court. That's not difficult for me. Like, I am so happy that she lives this life. My nephew is the best thing that ever happened to me. Therapy baby.
- [38:43]
B
He is.
- [38:44]
A
Every time I'm sad, I just go over and I hug him and I play with him. It's literally the best thing ever. I think the difficult thing is, like I said earlier, when you're twins, you experience everything at the same time. Like, I mean, everything. We went to high school together, went to college together. We shared a room. We have the same phase, puberty, everything. So you struggle with something, you go to the other one and you talk to them about it, and they're also sympathizing because they're going through it at the same time. The hardest part for me is that she can't 100% sympathize because she's not going through it. You know what I mean? As much as you, as a human, sympathize, there's just a degree of. You can't understand it until you experience it. The same way I feel probably about. You feel about birth. I can't understand. I've never given birth. Few times in our life that that has happened. Like, Bailey, Asa was her first kiss, her first love, like, everything. And so she never experienced heartbreak. So, like, having dated people and, like, had my heart broken, like, that was something she could never understand. And now I feel like roles are reversed. Roles are basically. And now you're struggling with a different type of heartbreak, and I can't understand that. Yeah. And that's definitely the most difficult thing because it's like, oh, my person I usually go to. Yeah. Like, I can't necessarily always go to you with questions and you have the answers, you know, I can sure try.
- [40:04]
B
Yeah.
- [40:04]
A
And you do.
- [40:07]
B
In what ways do you feel that it's made your relationship stronger?
- [40:13]
A
Interesting, huh? Well, I've definitely realized the limit is, like, non existent for what I would do for Bailey. Like, literally, I was like, well, she offered you to the IVF for me, but that is. Love hates needles. And IVF is just like. I mean, getting, like, an egg. It's so many retrieval is so many needles. I genuinely would do it. Like, I genuinely would have. If I had had more eggs than her. I would have, like, no problem. Like, take them. If that was the issue, Like, I would have done it. Like, so I would say that. But we're pretty. We're pretty close before all this happen, so really nothing can shake it. I think maybe just that people. And I think it's because people don't understand a twin relationship. They expect there to be jealousy. And the fact that they even expect there to be jealousy even makes me feel. Feel less jealous. It was like, if. If there was even jealousy at all. It's like, I think that only made us. Me just love my nephew and happy for her even more, if that makes any sense. Like, if anything, it's made it stronger.
- [41:12]
B
Yeah.
- [41:13]
A
But, yeah, I think going through hard things always makes you connect in a weird way. Yeah, that's true. But we just. If we're twins, you can't get closer than the moon, guys. Like, seriously.
- [41:24]
B
So I love that. Okay, well, last question I have for you guys is I would love. I would love to know what you're most proud of the other for.
- [41:32]
A
Oh, Well, definitely becoming a mom. I feel like that has. Well, actually, I'm gonna revise that. Becoming a mom and also a working mom, because I know it's been really tough for you to do that. Yeah. And the way that you balance both and you're like, A good mom to Archer and a good boss is very admirable. Thanks. I'm not gonna cry when you say that. She's gonna cry. She's getting teary eyed. Very thoughtful. I would say I'm the most proud of Bailey for navigating something so hard, even though she did do it by herself and regrets doing it by herself. Doing it by herself. Because Bailey's a chronic oversharer and chronic like me. I'm always there. Like, I'm her support system. So the fact that she, like, has done this by herself and, like, done it so well, like, you wouldn't even know she was secretly sad all the time. Even though she tells me she's secretly sad all the time. Like, I do think that that is, like, really admirable. And, like, people. People just don't even know, you know? Yeah.
- [42:36]
B
I love that. That's so sweet. Well, thank you both for coming. Yeah. And sharing and being so honest and open. And I think your stories and your relationship are really just inspiring everyone that's listening. And I know it's going to help a lot of women that are walking through infertility and moms that are figuring out their boundaries and their work life situations. It's really special, and I applaud you both for, like, carrying it with such grace. Oh, thank.
- [43:04]
A
Oh, thanks.
- [43:05]
B
You're so sweet.
- [43:06]
A
Love it. And you, too. Yeah. You are doing it. You're doing it. I'm killing it.
- [43:11]
B
I love that. Awesome.
- [43:27]
A
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